 All right, we're gonna talk about one of the most common complaints. I hear from women about men is that their inability to open up Emotionally or worse not even know where they stand in a relationship Now I recognize that you have a lot of frustration when it comes to men and I can go on and on about telling you How men or how little boys are told to stuff their emotions and stuff their feelings and we're taught to Practically repress our feelings and so it makes natural sense that this might be a reason why Most men might seem like they're emotionally unavailable Maybe emotionally constipated or as I said worse, you might not know where you stand in a relationship There's a lot of frustration there at the same time. I want you to know that men are absolutely capable of Feeling their feelings and they're certainly capable of emoting their feelings when the circumstances are right And we're gonna lean into that conversation in a little bit Now I want you to know that some of the Frustrations in relationship is because most couples aren't really connecting at an emotional level They're not connecting at an intimate level because they were never taught how to really connect from a heart-centered place Repeat that most couples haven't really learned how to connect at a heart-centered place I'm talking about that moment when you're just looking in your partner's eyes and you can just Practically see into their soul and I'm not talking about the early stage of dating where you might be experiencing Luster limerence where the chemicals are being released from your brain to your body saying I want this person because that's really Oftentimes the biological chemical drive you might be experiencing. I'm talking about something deeper I'm talking about that space where you really connect at an emotional level where you experience emotional intimacy Why is this important because I said a moment ago most people haven't been educated on this and ladies I know you have a capacity to emote your feelings. I know you have the capacity to talk about your feelings But have you really stepped into real emotional intimacy? What does that feel like? I'm not talking about with a man. I'm talking about within yourself. This is why I continually recommend the book Emotional intimacy by Robert Masters Here is a book to really tap into your Intimate side of who you are because if you want to connect with a man on emotional level if you really want to get him to Open up it requires starting from the inside out And I know you all think you're good at this but I can tell you as a man who's been out in the dating world I've witnessed this over and over again Most women don't really know how to express their feelings in a way that's seen heard and understood That's right. In fact, most women have duct tape over their mouth when they're in a relationship They're afraid to speak their feelings and I want you to hold one second so I can illustrate this point This is how most of you operate in relationship. It's like this It's like this And I'm saying this not to piss you off I'm saying this because you're oftentimes Afraid to speak up because you're afraid that the person is going to end the relationship with you and I'm here to say Here to say if you speak your truth and you do it in a kind place if you speak from your heart and It's sincere and from the heart you can't say the wrong thing to the right person In fact, that's your place to actually connect at a deeper emotional level This is why I'm so tired of the dating rhetoric That's pits men against women because if you really want to connect at a heart-centered level I highly recommend reading this book. It's called if the Buddha dated the Buddha dated Why is this a great book? It throws out the bullshit gender rhetoric of how? How dating has been throughout whatever long dating has been and by the way dating is a relatively new phenomena You know, it used to be people made it and married in less than two months. Think about that Literally, well, let's go back to caveman days. There was no dating. There was a lot of mating, but there was no dating Okay, and really up until about 50 years ago The the courtship process was literally a nanosecond and people committed to one another and when they committed to one another They felt safe enough to actually lean into Potentially deeper intimacy and I say potentially because the reality is is most humans live life from a survival-based way You know, they made it together because they were in survival mode We are actually in the first time and especially from a woman's perspective where you don't need a man to actually take care of you You have a capacity to take care of yourself So you actually get to choose who your partner is not based on their wallet Although I'm sure you all like somebody with a big wallet. I know I'd like a woman with a big wallet If I'm being candid why I'm saying this is it's it's incumbent to understand that emotional intimacy For men usually stems from a woman connecting with her heart to connect with our heart Repeat that. I mean, I'm really being sincere here when a woman can connect with her part in an empowered way She has a capacity to get a man to open up his heart So in a moment, I'm gonna share with you about a half a dozen ways to connect to a man's heart to get him up Get him to open up emotionally and talk with you So Before I do I want to address something that John Gottman that talks about or the the Gottman's talk about and That is what's known as the four horsemen of the apocalypse and what I mean to say is in relationship these are the four relationship killers and Oftentimes this causes men and women not to open up in relationship and the four horsemen are contempt criticism stonewalling and defensiveness or repeat that contempt criticism stonewalling and defensiveness Defensivism what is it anyway? Why is that important to know? Because oftentimes communication these days comes from a Confrontational way and not a conversational curious place. I want to repeat that This is really important a lot of men and women have combative communication instead of real Heart-centered communication. This is why I continually recommend the book Nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg and why this amazing book because it teaches you how to communicate at a deeper level Coming from your heart and by the way, this should have been titled compassionate communication I really wish that was it but why is it called nonviolent? the violent is because there's either contempt criticism Criticism defensiveness going on and the stonewalling means just cutting off communication Kind of what I experienced growing up with my mom, but that's another conversation So what's it gonna take? What are you gonna have to do to get a man to open up to you emotionally? first is tap into your Emotional heart your emotional center and come at it from a true empowered place This is why I continually recommend the book why men love bitches and bitch stands for babe in total control of herself Yes, and what that means is she's not wearing the duct tape on her mouth She's got that capacity to speak up And we're gonna talk about how to speak up in a way that actually helps you connect with a man at a heart-centered level And I'm gonna recommend one Amazing book that will change your life and if you're in a relationship right now And you really want to connect at a deeper level that I'm definitely recommending that you purchase this book So I'll do that in a moment. So let's pull up my trusty notes there. You can see it bump bump bump All right, I started this conversation with the understanding that this is all about you leading by example leading by example be as open as possible Because your fear of losing a guy is one of the reasons why he's not able to open up because you have walls and Your walls isn't going to make him feel safe to open up So lead by example be open in your heart. What does that look like? That looks like honest Communication that looks like radical honesty. That's compassionate communication all of this work Prepares you for actually being in a in a play a centered space to be able to communicate and lead by example Now does that mean all men are capable of this? No, a lot of men are deeply deeply wounded Most of you know my emotional maturity relationship skills chart. I'm putting this up here By the way, this is not a fact. This is merely opinion 20% of the population men and women like have clinical issues They're real deep-seated clinical issues and why I say 20% are healthy I'm being rather generous with that number most human beings are dysfunctional just like you and just like me It's taken me years to be able to get to a capacity to speak to you in a heart-centered space This took a lot of work, and I'm still radically dysfunctional. That's my girlfriend about it. She calls me complicated, but that's a whole nother conversation Anyway So why am I leaning into this? It starts from within and when you're able to emote in a more heart-centered space you lead by example You come from an open heart it invites him to open up I had a dear friend who was very closed off emotionally and he was in relationship with a woman Who just continually expressed her feelings her desires what she wants and she was extracting it from him And because he genuinely cared about her. He didn't run away. He didn't ghost He didn't disappear. He cared about her if she led by example and gave him an opportunity to express himself And he learned that he has a capacity much greater than he ever had because he was with a woman Who allowed space to open up his feelings? So that's number one number two I want you to practice active listening active listening and Validate what someone says, you know today most people are talking and then they're waiting to talk and then they're talking and that person's waiting To talk they're talking at each other They're not actually listening to one another and active listening is like basically saying You know, I mean it could look like something like this. It could say could be You know, is this what you just told me and you you you literally repeat back what they say as a way to demonstrate That you're actively listening and I got to tell you men and women like are terrible at this That's why I say most humans are dysfunctional and if you want to have that relationship Where you truly connect at a heart-centered level where you can actually I mean just look at your partner's eyes And just feel into their soul It's gonna require doing some work There's gonna be requiring to heal childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas and and going to the places I recommend like the Hoffman process or inside or life spring to just name a few places To go back and heal what's blocking so many of you and so many men as well Hey listen, I recognize you know, this might sound like well Jonathan This is going on deaf ears because guys don't do the work. I get it. I get it But you can start very early on listen if his penis gets to go inside your vagina You have every right to speak up. You have every right to ask questions Don't be so fucking naive that thinking sex is gonna lead to a long-term relationship Because chemistry is not the indicator of relationship success If you are not familiar with my relationship iceberg Here it is. You can see at the top of the iceberg is attraction. It says chemistry But below the iceberg is shared values blendable lifestyles and emotional, intimate maturity Deep emotional. I mean, here's the bottom line You either want a relationship where you're connecting at a heart-centered level or you want a relationship That's merely for for practical purposes. And by the way, I recognize a lot of people especially during covid Chose relationships out of convenience. They chose relationships because You're able to connect with someone will listen The floodgates are open the masks are off You actually now have an opportunity to really tap into what you want your life And this is why I recommend all these books. This is why I continually scream at the top of my lungs and I want to read you a meme as to illustrate this because Get busy living or get busy dying and and by the way, here's a meme that I love It's called ways to build emotional intimacy I'm going to read it because it's fuzzy right now Do meaningful activities together Be intentional about conversations offer thoughtful gestures provide emotional support share thoughts and feelings practice non-judgment listening apologize when wrong be curious Validate their experiences face conflict with empathy and openness offer non-physical compliments, although we leo's definitely like compliments on our looks practice vulnerability Try something new together be honest and assertive and give space. I love this meme because it's really look it We can have relationships. Like I said before that's convenience. You can spend time with someone where you have companionship connection and sex I'm here to encourage something deeper for every one of you. I'm encouraging you all to really connect at a more heart-centered level So I want to share a few more examples and then we're going to move on to questions So here's another thing Ask questions Ask questions and ask his opinion I've shared this story before and I'm going to share it again. I'll never forget. I was on a second date with a woman I picked her up at her home and And we had already built we'd actually been speaking for quite a while So we built a pretty good friendship with one another by the time I picked her up at her met her at her home She showed me around her place gorgeous home. She was doing remodeling and she wanted to show me some tiles that Um, she was thinking about putting in her kitchen And she said Jonathan, I'd like to get your opinion on these tiles. What do you think would look good? Now whether she was going to listen to my advice or not I felt so respected in that moment. She said I want to know your opinion I want to know what you're thinking. I want to know how you feel about this That's a that that that was like you know, like the peacock feathers puffed up, you know And men appreciate when you ask their opinion. They have actually appreciate you asking questions For men that actually want to go deeper into relationship. Look, I get it You can meet a lot of guys that are you know, stonewalling you I get it But you won't by the way, one of the things I teach in my private coaching And by the way, there's a link below in the description to get a free discovery call with me Is teaching you radical honesty to vet for the emotionally mature men who are capable of going deeper Versus the ones or not. So if you want some support with that, that's my area of expertise So you're not wasting time months years With the wrong guy, let's focus on how to pick the right guy very early on So again, check out the link below Again, ask questions ask his opinion Number four, this is when I made up because I noticed something earlier today with my girlfriend We're driving in the car. We're just talking with to one another and I just realized how much I enjoy that Conversation in the car, you know oftentimes we're so hung up on spending our relationship time on these devices And just that simple talking the car felt intimate And I'm just inviting you to start thinking of new different ways to connect with your partner And this is why I said I want to share another book with you before I give you the last Two suggestions or the last three suggestions before we move on This is an amazing book. It's called I hear you the surprisingly simple skills behind extraordinary relationships This book will teach you the communication skills This is all designed to teach you the communication skills so you can actually help a man The man and man you're with is a moat his emotions and let me just say this men are absolutely capable of this I'm I'm matter of fact. I was at the jacuzzi the other night. I was talking to a young couple And what fascinated me, uh, his girlfriend is from, uh, I think the ukraine or something like that And and I asked a question about who's the emotional one in the relationship and she pointed at him Like there are men capable. I mean they're and there are men already doing it I just want to help you find those guys Okay, but also I'm giving you the tips to make it happen right from the get-go. So check out this book. I hear you It's an extraordinary book to really help you both connect at a heart-centered level Okay, number five learn his love language If you're not familiar with the book the five love languages by gary chapman. I highly recommend reading that book Words of affirmation and once again, if you're with a layout, it's words of adoration. Okay Physical touch quality time access service and gifts learn this book It is going to help you really connect at an emotional level with your guy When you understand his love language, you'll understand how he's communicating with you And you can simply start to express or emote what your love language is Because when you understand your partner's love language, you're now connecting at a more heart-centered level And the last two this is my second the last one. It's my favorite. I call it the art of hanging out You know oftentimes the dating process is all this parade of taking out to dinners and do stuff But I gotta tell you something One of the best things to do with someone is just to hang out and just connect Just communicate with one another you talk It's not about talking about your day. How's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. You talk about your feelings. How are you feeling about this relationship? I'm here to say Lay your cards on the table fucking right from the get go We've got to stop this drawn out way of dating And actually condense it because you don't have time to fuck around with the wrong person I'm here to say accelerate the process instead of dragging it out But I need time to get to know you know how you get to know someone you lay your cards on the table right from the get go But Jonathan all the other dating coaches say don't do that because that's an interrogation You want to interrogate the motherfucker? I'm telling you That's what you want to do because you want to weed out the wrong guys quickly I know that might seem counter-intuitive, but these days we have to be more strategic more intentional This is why it's called radical honesty Because it's starting from here from the heart and just laying your cards on the table with someone Look, you're not going to do this on the first date I'm saying when you guys are horny enough to have sex with one another That's the time to instigate radical honesty And certainly that's the time to instigate my dating vows, which I'll have the dating vows will be listed in the description below And number seven and lastly the most important way to help a man connect with his heart Is gratitude is gratitude Attention affection appreciation acceptance being in a state of gratitude with your partner when you can actually And when I say partner a man you're dating to as well is being that space and by the way I I don't like the words. Thank you You know why because we say thank you to the grocery store clerk. We say thank you to random people I prefer using the word grateful And appreciation You know, I really appreciated that you went down and got me the orange juice at the store I really appreciated that you took time To get me something whatever it is Just say the words appreciation. That's a powerful word And more importantly and I cannot stress this enough is to learn to express gratitude with one another begin a practice Of simply saying three or four things that you're grateful for about your partner invite them to do the same Look, I know you're going to feel like you're going to get resistance. You're probably with some men that you're already feeling this resistance That's okay Sometimes you have to be persistent You know a diamond doesn't happen overnight a diamond happens through pressure Okay, it's cool squeezed with pressure Well, guess what if you want to squeeze an emotional man who's communicate to communicative with you Then you're gonna have to and I use the word pressure. I don't mean in an unkind loving way I'm talking about squeezing it out of him by leading by example as I stated in the beginning of this conversation Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know Ah All right I laid my cards on the table I'd like to hear yours. Okay So, uh, this wraps up the content portion of this video now We're going to move to q&a and those who know my q&a structure It's really simple if you have a question to ask of me simply write the word question Then post the question thereafter or you can purchase a super sticker super chat All the monies from the super sticker super chat or super thanks goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Conor Asley That's him with his With my mom. They're both in heaven right now um The scholarship fund is in in in his name is to help Uh causes like the Hoffman process and insight seminars and though and to defray the cost of personal development work for those in need So I'm definitely I definitely would appreciate if you would support the cause by purchasing a super sticker or super chat All right. We're time to ask questions. Let's see what we've got here Hmm All right, marda see question I found my guy a month ago and i'm surprised how many triggers are coming to the surface Are you experiencing that in your new relationship? Actually, I had an interesting trigger today. What happened? Uh God what happened? There was something when I was getting out of the car It was a simple thing. I can't remember was so I'm going to say to you I'm going to answer the question this way I don't think I've ever felt Connection like this before I really I know for a fact. I've never felt connection like this before I've never experienced A relationship where I really just I I just dig this person I mean my I just want to pour my heart out in this person and and more importantly is I can feel it from her and I will say recently I got scared because my So there's a picture of my mom and dad And um My mom did her best to be a good mom and she was a very loving mom and at the same time She had a capacity to give love and pull it away and give love and pull it away and give love and pull it away I mean literally I I want you to imagine this growing up as a child habitually having love taken away given love taken away And after a while I didn't realize I couldn't trust love So here I'm experiencing someone who's absolutely pouring her heart to me in this kind loving way Not so much in her words. It's just her presence And her words but this there's just this energetic presence and it freaked me out Because for a moment I was afraid she'll pull it away just like my mom did and And I shared that with her And those are uncomfortable things to share and I I'm not suggesting it was a trigger per se it was a trigger in the sense of You know, we often many of us have experienced the same thing And what I appreciate most is we've already began a relationship of radical honesty We began a relationship of laying our cards on the table That's one of the benefits of long distance relationship Now in our particular case, we are spending a significant amount of time together Because we we're blessed. We have a flexible lifestyle with one another Our dynamic fits really well together but coming back to your question about trigger Yeah, I've had multiple triggers And you know what I've shared it with her so Here's what I invite you to do When you get triggered with a man Share the trigger with your guy Share what's coming up for you now more importantly. It's best if you know where the trigger began Like in my case, I've done fucking a shitload I mean, listen the haven't done the Hoffman process check out the book the Hoffman process This is a deep dive into healing your mom and dad shit. Okay And I've spent I've spent a lot of hours finding out where all my triggers began And so when I could share it with her it wasn't pointing the finger at her Not that there was anything to point by the way I'm just sharing what came up. So here's an opportunity when you share from a heart center place with a man It's actually an invitation for deeper intimacy. What is intimacy into me? You see And if you want that deeper connection, it's going to require opening up And men aren't really good at this. I just happen to practice this shit Okay, I'm a unicorn in that way and there are plenty of men who are absolutely capable of leaning into their emotions and their feelings I mean this sincerely Most men are good guys They just need a little help along the way. Now, is it going to work on every man? No But you certainly start with somebody. That's my invitation for you. Thank you so much for that question I really appreciate it All right, I noticed a super sticker Hey roller girl. Thank you for the connor club. I really appreciate that All right, let's go swim and let's go swim and let's see Or is it just keep swimming Question do you think you are complicated? If so, why Kimberly you crack me up so I'm complicated because I process everything. I'm so fucking analytical. I drive myself nuts I absolutely drive myself nuts. So it's no wonder You know, I'll share with you my girlfriend said to me early on you're exhausting. You try to figure out every nook and cranny But the same time I think just like Sally and when harry met Sally, she was neurotic But you know at the end of the movie says I love it that it took it takes you an hour and a half to order a ham sandwich I love it that you think 71 degrees is cold. I love it that you're the first person I I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last person I go to bed He fell in love with their neuroses and my hope is just like I'm learning to appreciate some of hers Is that she appreciates it because it's also it's not a character flaw It created the opportunity to create deeper intimacy with one another She also says she likes my woowness. So Which I really appreciate All right, Kimberly. Thanks for that sweet question. I appreciate it Oh my gosh, it's all about my relationship today. Jonathan. How's your relationship going? I live vicariously through you You know guys or ladies I should say you know I think I really believe it's rare that two souls connect With such open hearts And what I appreciate most about her and I'm sharing this with you. Everyone is Her heart is wide open She's just easy and chill So many of us have had walls up we've had been guarded after because of pain after pain after pain That's difficult. It's I want you to think about this How do you connect with someone's heart if you're wearing armor? And I understand why the armor is there in fact You all know I lost a child When I lost Connor that broke my heart open because I had a choice I could grieve with suffering or I could grieve with love I said I had this choice because I wanted to make that choice because I know that's what he'd want for me And so the armor began little by little dissipating. This is why listen. I recommend my book I know it sounds like a sales pitch But I recommend my book because it's a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work It's the journey. I got to a place where I could open my heart up And so when I was feeling this a little bit of fear and resistance for a moment, it didn't it doesn't keep me stuck And yet so many men and so many women are carrying so much pain And I invite you to let it all go Just like my copy mug says sometimes you're awesome. Sometimes you forget you're awesome. This is your reminder Get busy letting go of the armor because it doesn't serve you look at If our relationship implodes All right, so it happens I mean, yeah, that's that might happen But you know what does what happens more often that the armor keeps two people from actually connecting at a heart-centered level And I will tell you this ladies I didn't get to where I was at because a man or my father or anyone helped me It took women a woman and women to help me get to in this place Because a man Listen, we men are very competitive with one another. We're oftentimes like this when we're communicating with one another It takes a woman to pierce a man's veil And you have this beautiful capacity to help us feel nurtured and trusted and safe Excuse me nurtured and safe because ultimately a man's capacity to open up his heart Because he trusts you Not trust in the fidelity sense trust in the sense that you both are feeling that sense of this person has my best interest at heart And I can share with you because this was asked that's how i'm feeling in this relationship It's like her best interests are in my best interests when she's when I can help her in any capacity I can it helps me And that's my invitation for you all is to let go of the armor to let go of it all Because what do you got to lose? Do you want keeping the armor? What's the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? All right. Thank you so much for that. I appreciate it friend of all right Oh, we got another super sticker. I want to acknowledge uh, cecilia I'm grateful to be with you tonight. Thank you so much blessings to you. I really appreciate that big hugs to you All right, let's keep swimming. Oh my gosh. We have lots of questions. I'm not gonna be able to get to all of this um Cecilia says how do you stay in high energy enlightenment peace love while you are empathizing in a relationship anger fear and shame That's a good one. How did I choose? to grieve With love instead of suffering. How did I choose to do that? I think my motivator was That's what connor would want me to do He would want me to live my life to the fullest So he's my carrot. Okay He's my carrot It's not easy In fact, a couple days is going to be the anniversary his four-year anniversary of passing. That's not going to be easy for me But I know that's what he wants for me And so I invite you all To find that carrot to make that choice because you can choose a you can choose the red pill or the blue pill You could choose pain or suffering or you can make the choice to love because a true miracle in life Is the choice to choose love love for yourself love for others It really I you know, it really can be that simple The walls and armor isn't going to allow that through an open heart As my friend allen says be totally open I know that's scary, but believe it or not when you're totally open. That's when it happens I'm serious. I know that goes counter-intuitive. You think you know, it's like he must climb to the tallest tower in the You know like men have to climb and but no when you're just totally open You create a space for him to be open as well It's not going to work with every guy. I get it That's why you have to hire me to figure out the ones that are worthy of you That's my job. Check out the link to a free discovery call with me Reading all these books are great resources to get you totally open going to workshops going to the Hoffman process Going to insight going to life spring Go to Rhythmia in Costa Rica and do ayahuasca Go to a divorce There's this one lady. Oh, she teaches in Thailand. I know that's way out of your geographic zone But there are so many places you can go to to break open your heart if you can't do it the way I did it And that's my invitation for you Thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate I hope I answered your question folks You know me I go off on tangents and I rattle up stuff. So thank you so much um Haley says Question do you feel people are more wait? Do you feel people are way more open nowadays compared to our parents? Oh apps are fucking loot like Our listen my mom and dad. This is when they're in their 20. This was back in 1950 ish I mean The the couples back then was survival based relationships. I mean they began we are now look at Our big issue here in the united states and maybe across the world is we have a humongous mental health problem Most humans are suffering from I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable and I'm not likable This is why you got to get my book. Okay, but We have an opportunity now to really work on our emotional side Really, we have this opportunity Every one of you and let me tell you something What attracted me to her? One is she shared with me she did a lot of work I really respect that I really appreciate that because I felt like it was a preparation for us as well but more importantly She didn't have walls or armor based on You know feeling jaded or bitter about her last relationships That's the number one reason why I'm gonna say I think that could be the number one reason why a lot of women don't attract the men that they want I've gone on dates and I mean I've gone on so many dates with women that literally I'm sitting across from them at the table. I can see every man that hurt them standing behind metaphorically speaking So I invite you to ask yourself these three questions about every one of your past relationships ask yourself What positive things did I learn about myself in this relationship? Who was good about this relationship? And what am I most grateful for this is an antidote to letting go Letting down the armor to letting down the bitterness the jadedness that so many people have experienced And it's no wonder because unlike my mom and dad my mom had sex with one man in her life Okay, these days we've had multiple relationships could have multiple sexual partners as well I don't know if humans were designed for that. I don't know. I'm just maybe they are maybe they're not Well, actually we are designed to have sex with people But I'm talking about an emotional level and the more people we experience, you know Dating really triggers. I shared with you a moment ago the number one emotional health issue is I'm not good enough I'm not lovable and I'm not likable and sadly dating triggers this But you know what it's good about a trigger a trigger is an opportunity to work on your shit I mean, yes, I've had earlier the question was I've had triggers, but it's an opportunity to work through my shit You know relationships aren't easy Let me reframe that When you're with the right person, it's easy It really is when you're with the right person It doesn't mean you're not going to work through your stuff that you know when someone says relationship is work No, the work is yourself. It's not working on them and it's not pointing the finger at them and telling them what's wrong about them What's really the opportunity to lean into yourself and say how can I be a better person? How can I improve myself? And that's my invitation for all of you So going back to your question, which I forgot what it was excuse me Uh, yes, I think people are way more open than before. I look at my son. Where's calling there's calling There's a young man. He's younger there, but he's 26 years old. I can't tell you What an amazing human being this person is because he has a capacity He has he has an open heart like I like I've never seen it in an individual I'm not saying that because he's my son. It's because he genuinely I don't know what his mom did right I don't know if I did it, but whatever his mom did right. He's got this big gigantic open heart Men have this capacity more than ever before my girlfriend shares about her boys I mean, they have this amazing capacity to love these men exist. I want you to know that I want to invite you to start saying it's raining great men It's greening right main raining great man Dear god universe spirit I invite in a partner that I can connect with on an emotional level that we have amazing Communication with one another and our banter can go on for hours and hours at a time And that we can blend lives together And we can with that we share the same values and that will build the deep roots of trust Through social activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends Traveling together teamwork building skills both in our personal our professional life And lastly intimacy both physical and emotional intimacy that helps us bond together I invite that into my life right now and that is my invitation for you all Is to set that prayer and to let go down the walls to invite in a partner in your life Because the walls are not allowing him to connect with your heart and therefore you won't be able to connect with his heart Thank you so much All right, we have another five dollar super sticker. Thank you so much. Pam. I appreciate that Oh my gosh, let's go swim in. Oh, we're gonna Gotta give our props to pam. Thank you so much Again, if you want to support the conor house a scholarship fund purchase a super stick or super chat It's the dollar sign below by the way folks is this resonating with you what i'm saying is this Are you connecting with this? Does this here does this sound like a watt watt watt watt watt or is this are you going to make a shift in your life? Because that's my invitation for you all Ah, so thank you All right Let's see what we got here. Oh monarch beat says It's raining great men exactly All right question from michelle. How do you make an attached? Avoidant open up emotionally Listen, if you're not familiar with the book attached by amir labine and rachel heller I highly recommend reading this book. This book has so many So many Uh tools god, it took me a second to come up with that word the tools to actually help you Communicate better with your partner and then there's another amazing book by barba de angeles called how to make love all the time Oh my god. This is a great book to help an emotionally Avoidant man Actually start leaning into his heart again I invite you to read this and learn this so you can actually be better school So when you're facing these situations, you know exactly how to navigate it because Here's the bottom line with guys Men will never admit this They really just want to be loved They want to be accepted for who they are. They want to be loved for who they are We live in a society. We live in a world that is constantly criticizing And constantly judging and I mean we are divided here in the united states and it's red and blues and this and that And there's no wonder it's a cluster fuck out there And yet the end of the day men deeply want to be loved because every within every man is a little kid It just wants to be loved because Look at my mom did her best. My dad did their her best but My mom's capacity was give love take it away give love take it away give love take it away She didn't do that intentionally And it's scary for us guys to lean into this and yet the same time There are beautiful men out there that want to open up their hearts And i'm just simply inviting you to let down the armor the wall So you can open your heart to deeper love because let me just say this And I say this now with a tiny bit of knowing I've had relationships before My relationships were very much traditional My marriage was traditional because I was told to Go to college get a job meet a girl get married buy a house start a family. That was the programming And that relationship didn't work out my next relationship I'm an anxious attachment style and I was ridiculously dysfunctional. What did I choose an avoidant attachment style? I put this person up on a pedestal, but I was attached not from a from a from a place of empowerment The real journey here to connect with someone starts with individual empowerment. That's why I spent the last five years Learning to be in a position so I could be here right now to step into something that I didn't know existed I'm a 50 plus year old guy that didn't know what it meant to really love someone at a heart centered level And i'm just beginning to experience this now Most of us haven't most have us had superficial relationships and I didn't get here by The definition of insanity meaning doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results I had to start from the inside out and that's my invitation for every one of you. Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know All right, we're gonna take one or two more questions before we wrap up Jennifer asked do you think we're you're you and your girlfriend are twin flames? I don't know if I believe in twin flames, but I can tell you something We are so fucking alike. I'm like it's like down to the most ridiculous things I mean I like right now they escape me in the moment that I'm like Like you like that too. I'm like, yeah, I'm like that and it's like I feel like there's just such alignment That's why listen. There's a book You may not like the website e harmony, but the guy who started e harmony wrote a book called two dates or less He talks about when when two people are aligned in the 25 areas of alignment He talks about you literally are so aligned with one another that it is practically easy This is why when I teach you my private coaching I teach you a skill called a radical honesty pre qualifying your prospect meaning Your job is your job is to figure out is this guy worthy of your vagina And do this before you most of you wait months hoping that he's going to take the lead and i'm here to say You are in charge of your relationship destiny. Don't give it up to a guy Figure out alignment because I don't know if we're twin flames, but I I feel like we must I really believe it by the way If you don't if you have netflix watch black mirror season four An episode called hang the dj can someone write that in the chat box netflix black mirror Season four hang the dj If you want to get a sense of what I think our relationship is like it's that Now listen You guys all know i'm in la la land right now. I'm tom cruise dancing on the on the couch with oprah here But I don't say this cavalierly look i've had plenty of lust and limerence in my life limerence is extreme infatuation And certainly i've lusted for women. This is not that This is genuine heart connection And so That is why I believe that there is a soul connection between us and I do believe they exist So watch that episode can someone write that in the chat again netflix black mirror season four hang the dj All right, you know what folks? I think this will be a great place to wrap up I've shared a lot of personal things. I wasn't expecting to right now. Cecilia says this is a great video jonathan I'm adding it to my playlist. Thank you so much I'm hoping I'm hoping I've inspired you to shift the narrative Because most guys They deeply want to open up to emotional intimacy. They want their little kid loved It's hard for us to do it on our own And that's why I invite you to read these books to do the work try some of the examples I shared here in the beginning of this video because you might be surprised you might have a diamond in the rough right now And all it takes is a little bit of squeezing if you will that's how a diamond is made And who knows you might find that you have a great guy with your with you right now Or you can be prepared now for when you do meet a great guy to actually live a more empowered Joyful happy relationship with someone and that's my invitation for everyone All right, folks. I think this would be a great place to wrap up this video Again, don't forget to purchase the super sticker super chat or super. Thanks If you appreciate this video and it had value for you Don't forget that's for the connor asley scholarship up and i'm going to wrap up this video as I always do First off give myself a big gigantic chocolate and bear hug of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera Oh my god You saw my pit stains reach in the camera and give my give you a big gigantic hug of love if that's okay I'm asking to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank roller girl and susan and celia and jamie and uh, brenda And uh, oh god, I can't even pronounce your name ricka and hailey and venessa and claire Thank you all so much wishing you a super duper fabulous evening. Bye now