 Your father also died a very tragic death and dealt with addiction and you know you also got to see the very dark sides of professional sports and what it was like to be a black man in baseball and and I wanted to hear you know growing up with a keen understanding of the pitfalls in the worst way possible and seeing who shows up for the funeral and who's there yes you know how what impact that had on you well it's huge you know I always say this my life really began where my dad's ended you know and it's crazy I remember the funeral like it was yesterday and you know it's it's for me it's crazy because you know you kind of take you take a step back and as a three four I was turning four years old you know and then you start to kind of piece things together you don't look at life the way that most people look at life and like you had mentioned you know in terms of people who showed up at his funeral even and you know my dad he died from AIDS so in 1991 it was January of 1991 this was 10 months before magic even made his announcement I mean the world was such a different place and so I think that you know I definitely did see things differently I definitely had a different type of purpose about the way that I chose to continue my life and it really took a huge it really set a foundation for me as I played and I remember just feeling different from other kids because it's just like I feel like I had this knowledge and I had this understanding of life you know and I just I saw I remember they didn't want us to see it but I went we went my brother my sister and I and we went to the casket and I remember going to the casket peering at him and looking at his casket and just being whoa like game over you know and he was like 70 pounds and he was covered with lesions and I just remember just seeing death and just looking at it and just being like wow like just understanding that it's life is much more deeper than than I could ever imagine