 The narcissistic parent will ruin your life. Now this is a very important video. Perhaps one of the most important videos. And of course, the reason for that is because as we know, as science, as psychology shows us, everything that happens to you in your childhood, it determines how the rest of your life will pan out. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from its tree. Everything that you received in your childhood from your narcissistic parents or parents or your caregiver, whoever it may have been, everything you received from that person or those people, of course it affects you. We know that. We know that it affects children. And that is why things have become a lot more strict now. You're not meant to hit your child for a reason. You're not meant to spoil your child as well. And especially the physical abuse that is against the law in many countries in the world for a reason. Because we understand the damaging effects that it has not only on the child but potentially every person that the child comes into contact with from when they're a child until the day they die. It affects everyone. It affects communities. And yeah, but let's talk more about your specific situation because we know that it can be damaging for everyone. But let's talk about how it affects you because that is very important on this channel. This is one of the most important topics, of course, because as you may already know, it is the reason why you ended up meeting a narcissist or many narcissists throughout your life. It's the reason why many of you are lonely and depressed and you feel like you've never met a good person. Yeah, it's the reason for that. It's the reason why you self-sabotage. It's the reason why you've made mistakes. It's the reason why you push people away. You don't trust anyone. Yeah, it's the reason for all of that. Sorry to say it, but it's true. I mean, we can blame our narcissistic partners, husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, whatever it is. We can blame them for what they did to us. And of course, yes, they are at fault for what they've done, but sometimes it's good to look at the root cause of things. And yeah, the truth is it all comes back to your narcissistic parent. It really does. Because if you were treated right in childhood and you were encouraged to have boundaries, you were encouraged to love yourself and respect yourself, none of that stuff ever would have happened. None of it. The problem is if you have a narcissistic parent, we all know what they do. They insult you, they put you down. They put you on this hamster wheel where you're constantly trying to please them, but nothing you do is ever good enough. And that's what it all comes down to. They make you insecure. They make you hate yourself. And it's completely irrational. I mean, the irony is I just really let this sink in because it's actually quite funny when you think about it. The narcissistic parent, they put you down throughout your entire life and no matter what you do, you're never good enough. You're always bad, you're always wrong. But if you're so bad, now think about this for a moment. Another truth is that narcissists, they don't seek out ordinary people. They want the best of the best. So why did all these narcissists pick you? Your narcissistic family members, friends, relationship partners, bosses, coworkers, why did they all target you? If you're so bad, just let that sink in for a moment because that's how you know you've been fed a lie your entire life and you validated it. You believed in the illusion of you not being as great as you actually are. And that's really the truth. As you know, I don't come on here to just make people feel better about themselves and patronize people. I'm not into that. I come on here to speak the truth. And the truth is you must be pretty damn special if narcissists are targeting you because they really do pick the best of the best. They pick people who are intelligent and attractive, people who have a light, people who have a heart, people who are empathic, considerate, kind, giving, generous, all of these things. So when you look at that, you think, so all of my life was my narcissistic parent blind? Could they not see the greatness in me? Did they not want to harness that greatness and turn it into something even greater? No. No. They didn't want to do that. And the reason why they didn't want to do that is because your narcissistic parent is deeply envious and jealous of you, just like any other narcissist. Yes. Narcissistic parents are envious and jealous of their own children. And this, typically, happens with fathers and their sons and then mothers and their daughters. And this is quite interesting, actually, because you may find that when you were a child, your narcissistic parent may have idealized you. In fact, you may have been the golden child. You may have been very special to them. They may have seen you as an extension of themselves. And it's like, no matter what you did, you couldn't do anything wrong. Everything you did was gold. But then you got to a certain age and it's that age when you start going through puberty, when you're around maybe 13 years old, that is when you start going out more, making more friends, socializing. Maybe you're more interested in boys or girls. And the narcissistic parent can no longer see you as an extension of themselves. Because now you're beginning to separate yourself from them. When you start developing these passions and interests and an interest in the opposite sex, you're showing them that you are a separate individual. And that is why at that age, when you're around 13 years old, you're going through puberty. That is when the narcissistic parent turns against you and makes someone else the golden child and you become the black sheep or the scapegoat. Now, that's when everything starts going wrong for you. I mean, when you were younger, there was still abuse. But you may not have seen it as abuse because it was spoiling. They gave you everything you wanted. They let you do whatever you wanted to do. And, yeah, I mean, that may have seemed good at the time, but that is also a form of abuse. And as you got older, once you got to around 13 years old, you're going through puberty, that's when the narcissistic parent no longer sees you as an extension of them. They begin to see you as a separate individual and they don't like that. And they see it as though anything that is separate from them that's not an extension, then they have to devalue you. They have to put you down. And it makes you very insecure. You feel like you're not good enough and you don't want to go out. You don't want to make friends. You don't want to have girlfriends, boyfriends. You don't want anything like that. You just want to be alone. You just want to sit in your room all day and do nothing and not be around anyone. Because you feel like you're not good enough for anyone. And this impacts you. It affects the rest of your life. And it's the reason why you find yourself where you are today. Everything you've gone through. It's really sad, but that's just how it is. That's what they do to you. It's tragic. It really is. It's that loss of potential. And it's not only the potential for you and what you could have become, but also what you could have brought to the worlds. What you could have brought to other people's lives. You could have met the right person for you if you were treated right. It's like somewhere out there is the soulmate that you never got to meet, this family that you never got to have, these friends, the social circle, this job, this life. And it was all taken away from you at a very young age. And really there's nothing worse than that. I mean, I know the things that happen to us later in life. Yeah, of course, it's really bad what these narcissists do to us. But for me, that is the most heartbreaking thing of all, is how life is literally robbed from an innocent child. I mean, when you think about it, that is the worst part about it. And, you know, as people have said in my comments before, I really think this should be taught in schools. Children need to be aware of what this is because it can change your entire life. It can change everything. And not only your life, but as I've said, it has a knock-on effect. It affects everyone around you. And another thing is that if you have a narcissistic parent, you won't have any support. You will feel completely invalidated and isolated. No one's going to be on your side. No one's going to be in your corner. In fact, you'll find that the only person you can turn to in your entire life is your narcissistic parent because everyone else will have been fed a bunch of lies about you. There will have been a smear campaign which will have started from when you started to separate as an individual. From that moment on, the narcissistic parent will have started a smear campaign. There will have been talking about you to other people and they'll just be making you look like a fool, setting you up for the rest of your life to be hated and locked down upon by everyone, to be alienated to where you can't fit into any group or community. And, yeah, you're just completely isolated. You have no support. You have no one who understands you, no one who you can trust because they've already been groomed. They've been conditioned by the narcissistic parent a long time ago. Even after everything, all of the abuse, you're left to deal with it on your own with no support. And, yeah, it's tragic, it really is. It really is. But it seems that these types of people, these narcissists, they just know, they have a sixth sense where they know straight away. They can pick out someone who was abused as a child and they know straight away, I'm going to take advantage of that person. I'm going to exploit them. I'm going to take everything they've got. They can just sense it. They know straight away and they're looking for people like that. They're looking for people who are abused, children in adult bodies and they're looking for excuses to exploit you. Yeah, that's it. That's what having a narcissistic parent does to you. It sets you up to be alone and isolated in life where you can't trust anyone, where no one's on your side, where you have no support and you're just left to deal with the effects of everything you've gone through on your own. And, yeah, that's really why I do this. Because after everything that I've gone through in my life and I never had any support. There was never anyone there for me other than me. Oh, and Nala, of course. But yeah, that's why I do this. It's because sometimes I look back and I think about myself when I was a child and everything I had to go through and how no one cared about me. No one was there for me. I just don't like it. Going through that. And it's even worse when there's a group of people. I just can't accept that. And that's really what motivates me to do this every day. So, yeah, if you would like to talk about it, you know, the things that you've gone through with your narcissistic parent and everything that occurred as a result after that, you can share that in the comments down below. Or if you prefer something a bit more personal, I am available for one-on-one coaching, which you can book through my website, which is NarcSurvivor.co.uk. I'm just relaxing now in my apartment here. Really nice place. Three bedrooms and two bathrooms. But just me and Nala. But there's so much to explore out here. Lots to see. Got these massive mountains in the back. Got the mall there. Incredible views. Yeah, but that's definitely one of the most things to deal with. And as I said, the invalidation, the gaslighting, the blame shifting, because by the end of it, even after all of the abuse, you will be the one who takes the blame. I've said it before. In the end, they blame you for everything. I mean, that's what narcissists do. They don't take accountability for anything. They hold you accountable for everything that went wrong. They point the finger at you, and then they get everyone else to join in. So yeah, that's difficult to deal with, the gaslighting, the cognitive dissonance. You've got to have someone there to talk you through that. And that's where I come in. I'm available for coaching. Just go to Narc Survivor.co.uk. I've been through it. And I'm definitely a lot more self-validating. So yeah, I can definitely help you with that. All right, that's it for this video. Please give it a thumbs up if it helped. And you all have a great day.