 James Swannock here from the Alcohol Free Lifestyle Podcast. Great to have you here. I've invited Victoria English to step in again and share her thoughts on alcohol culture. Before we listen to Victoria on today's episode, if you would like to get my free guide on how you can rewire your brain around alcohol, so you can either reduce or quit. There is a link in the show description. That link is alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash guide and then if you'd like to talk with Victoria, speak with Victoria, get coached by Victoria, then you're welcome to book a complimentary coaching call. There's also a link in the description on that alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash schedule. That is for people who are at the point where ready to quit for at least 90 days and they want some additional help. If you want to do it yourself, just download the guide and follow the process and the system that I outlined in that guide. But if you do want some additional help, then alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash schedule is that link and both of those links are in the description of this episode. All right, let me hand over to Coach Victoria as we talk about alcohol culture. Here we go. Hey everyone, this is Victoria English, top coach with Project 90. I am here visiting alcoholfreelifestyle podcast today and I have some things to talk about that certainly I used to believe to be true and I now have the honor of coaching our members around some of these thoughts and beliefs about alcohol. When I was drinking alcohol, I thought several things were true. I thought that alcohol was my friend. I thought that everybody was drinking and I thought life wouldn't be so great without it. I'd be kind of an oddball. So let's talk about a few of those things. I hear this so often in our coaching calls. It's an important topic because we are tribal people. We like community. We're not meant to be all alone. So it's only natural that when we think about changing our relationship with something like alcohol, which might be a big part of our lives that we may view as a friend, as a companion, as a confidant, as a confidence booster, it can be a little intimidating. Also, when we look around at the marketing and the way society portrays alcohol, we can feel like, oh gosh, am I going to fit in anywhere? It's an important topic to address. So let's start with alcohol is my friend. I have a classic picture that the members and I kind of get quite a kick out of. It's a picture of me. I'm now 50. I think I was around 44, 45 back then. It's a picture of me. I was going on a weekend getaway. I'm posing in this picture thinking I looked really cute with a t-shirt that says, champagne is the answer. I thought it was pretty witty. I look back now and I feel it's a little cringy. But I thought it was so funny. And I also thought it was true. You know, I viewed alcohol as my friend. When I was having a good day, alcohol was there to help me celebrate. When I was having a bad day, alcohol was there to console me. When I wanted to socialize and feel part of, alcohol was there to what I thought help me connect with the people around me. If I was feeling a little bit shy or insecure going into a situation, maybe a social event where I didn't really know anyone or a social event that I didn't really feel like attending. But for whatever reason, I was obligated. Alcohol was that confidence booster, that social lubricant. So yeah, I totally thought alcohol was my friend. And a lot of our members feel the same way when they come in here. And yet, there's a reason that I gave up alcohol. There's a reason that our members join our community and approach this with a curiosity. Like, well, if alcohol is really my friend, where's the give and take? Because we used to have a really good time together. But lately, sometimes for only a few months, sometimes for several years, I feel like I'm giving and alcohol is taking. I felt the same way. And an example I use is when I look back on alcohol, I kind of look back on it like maybe you would look back on an old relationship. Let's say your high school or college girlfriend or boyfriend. Sometimes a song will come up or you'll go to a place that reminds you of them. And those memories come back. And you think, oh, wow, that was really a good time. Yeah, wow, I kind of miss them. Now, now, does that mean that you go hunt down that prior relationship and rekindle it? No, it doesn't. It means that you can look back and remember the good times. But you can also say, there's a really good reason that that relationship is no longer. So remembering it fondly in some capacity is only normal. However, over the course of that relationship, the give and take wasn't there. There was some imbalance that, for whatever reason, led you to the decision that it was best to part ways with that relationship and move on with your life. A relationship with alcohol can be the same way. It doesn't have to be all bad. I don't vilify alcohol for the purpose it served at certain points in my life. I went to a big football school. I was in a sorority. I had tons of fun. A lot of it involved alcohol, aside from maybe some embarrassing dance moves or some hangovers. I didn't really suffer any consequences. Now, of course, knowing what I know now as an alcohol coach, I recognized that what I was seeking in those college adventures was connection, friendship, making memories together. But my relationship with alcohol was okay. It had its place. It knew its place. And I made the choices about how it impacted my life. As I grew older and my relationship with alcohol changed, you know, that return on investment wasn't there. So if you personify alcohol and you look at alcohol the way you would look at a friendship or a romantic relationship even, and you said, you know, they keep making the same promises and those promises keep getting broken. They keep promising me a certain outcome. They keep promising me a certain experience. And yet the next day, when I look back and say, did they come through? I'm realizing more and more that no, they didn't. Well, would most of us stay in that sort of friendship or relationship? It's unlikely. We might for a while. And just like in a relationship, alcohol will sometime still deliver on some promises. And so it can lead us to sticking around. Because not only do we get some return, some promises fulfilled, we are hanging on to what it used to be. When we look at it that way, it seems kind of simple, right? Like, well, if a friendship or a romantic relationship just isn't working out, and it's definitely costing you more than you're getting, and you can't seem to find a solution, maybe it's best to move on. It seems simple, right? That's what we usually do in our interpersonal relationships. And yet, why is alcohol different? Well, because again, I go back to what I've spoken about before. On the level of substance, alcohol is highly addictive. It changes the way our brain works. So it's not that easy. And it's not your fault if you are conflicted, if you have this constant back and forth with alcohol. It totally makes sense, because that's what alcohol is in its nature. Then let's look at the level of self. Why are we drinking? Well, again, we go back to, you know, well, what I believed about alcohol. It was my friend. It was a way to console myself if I was having a bad day. It was a way to celebrate if I was having a great day. It was a way to put me at ease if I was feeling anxious about something. So if we're kind of drinking using alcohol to facilitate those things, then it's only natural that it's going to be maybe a little awkward to give up or take a break from. Again, it's not a reflection on who you are. It's just a habit that has been created biochemically in your brain and through reinforcement by doing it over and over again in certain situations. It's not about you. It's not you. It's the alcohol. So that's one thing. So is alcohol your friend? Well, I don't know if alcohol was hanging out with you as a person. Would you want to keep hanging out with it? If the answer is no, that's a thing you might want to look into. Maybe you want to find a community that understands that experience like Project 90. Because again, everyone comes in with these very valid concerns. We don't minimize it. We don't minimize that. Yeah, you probably did have some really good times with alcohol. If you didn't, you wouldn't have ever built this kind of relationship. It's like a first date. If alcohol took us to the next morning where we wake up with a hangover and regret and a sour stomach and a dry mouth and all sorts of stuff, would we drink it again? Probably not. If you went on a first date and it was absolutely horrible and that first date spilled your drink on you and had terrible table manners and only spoke about themselves, would you have a second date? Probably not. There has to be some good that came out of it. That's that. Again, if you're curious about it, check out Project 90. The next thing is, okay, Victoria, I get that part. Alcohol, maybe it's not such a good friend after all. Okay, I could see taking a break from it. Am I going to be a total oddball if I do that? Because it seems like everybody drinks. Well, I remember that too. I thought, well, I can't not drink. Everyone around me is drinking. But there's a couple of layers to that. First of all, at this point in your life, do you want to be like everyone else? Do you want to think like everybody else? Do you want to behave like everybody else? Just because it's cool or popular. If you're listening to this podcast, I seriously doubt you're in middle school or even high school. I'm thinking you're probably not afraid to be an independent thinker and make decisions that are best for you. Let's look at that. Is alcohol everywhere? Are you an oddball if you're not consuming it? It depends on where you look. If you look at billboards, if you look at commercials, if you look at magazine ads, TV commercials, if you look at all those things, yeah, you might believe that. Everyone's doing it. If you go to a store and you look at product placement, yeah, you might believe everyone's doing it. The thing is, that's what the marketers want you to believe. That is their job. They are just doing their job and they are really good at it. I'm thinking they probably have a bigger budget for advertising and marketing than some healthy options like alcohol-free drinks. I think so because what? Because alcohol is huge business and I'll clue you in. They're following the same map that nicotine, that big tobacco, followed in the past. The same messaging. You need this. This makes life better. You're crazy if you're not doing this because everyone's doing it. Everyone who's cool is doing it. They're just doing their job. I have some feelings about it. But would they be good at their job if they showed you the next morning? If they showed people with hangovers? If they showed pictures of crashed cars? If they showed people in the hospital after a fall? Even if they showed bruises after you bump into things. What about showing people getting to work late or missing a meeting? Do they show pictures of that? No, of course not because who would want to buy that? They show images of people laughing, socializing, looking trim, fit, sexy, seductive. And that's what we think we believe. But if you look around and you do your research, you find that there's a lot of successful people out there who are choosing not to drink. They are making an intentional decision not to drink. Not because their lives were falling apart. They look at alcohol for what it is as a substance and they say, why would I do that? That's not going to up my game. There's a lot of super athletes who don't drink. Why? Because it's going to make them slower on the field. It's going to slow down their motor skills. It's going to take, it's going to add time to their laps. And they're thinking, well, why would I do that? It serves them best to not drink. I take issue as a wellness professional. I have a degree in dietetics. I'm an integrative nutritionist. I'm a Pilates instructor. I'm a breast cancer survivor and advocate. I take issue with the wellness professionals, quote, who are drinking in their Instagram posts, who have affiliations with alcohol companies. I take real issue with alcohol bottles. If you go into the wine shop in October, breast cancer awareness month, you'll see bottles of wine with a pink ribbon. And it says X percent of proceeds donated to breast cancer research. Did you know that alcohol is a class one person? It has direct links to several types of cancer. And yet here they are with a pink ribbon, subliminally making you feel like if you don't choose this bottle of wine, you don't care about breast cancer patients or survivors. Pretty nasty. So I do take issues with that. However, people are chasing the almighty dollar. And that's all right. I just stay in my lane. But again, it depends on where you look and from what perspective, you know, young people are actually drinking less. People who are 24 years and less are drinking less in America. They say that alcohol is their parents' drug. And they are seeing alcohol in some capacity for what it is. Now I go back to the marketers, if you look around in a liquor store, their marketing creams, sickle drinks, root beer float drinks all spiked with alcohol. So they are not giving up easily on this younger market. When you look at middle age to older Americans, we're drinking more. And there's a reason for that. They have cultivated us in their market for a very long time. There's been an increase in that. And so James and I and the other coaches take our work very seriously because we realize we are up against alcohol as a substance, alcohol in society. But we're here to change the messaging and to challenge you to question your thoughts and beliefs. Are you really going to be an oddball if you're not consuming the only drug you have to defend not using? Not really. Because our numbers are growing. The awareness is changing just like it did around tobacco. And then let's go a layer deeper. Do you care if you're not like everyone else? Is it that important to be like everybody else when you are participating in a relationship that you know isn't serving you? If you were certain that alcohol was working great for you, you wouldn't be listening to this podcast. You'd be doing something else with your valuable time. Just take a moment, look at it without judgment. Again, this isn't about you. We're a product of society. We're a product of this substance. It happens. But take a step back and ask yourself those questions. Is alcohol my friend? If alcohol were a person, would I want to hang out with that person? Are they honest? Are they loyal? Do they follow through? Are they authentic? Do they make me a better version of myself? Everyone's doing it. Do I want to be like everyone else? Or do I want to do what I know is best for me, is best for my family? If the answer to those questions is a bit difficult, it's okay. It's like that. And you're not meant to do this all by yourself. These are big changes on a lot of levels. So it's okay to not do it yourself. Like I said, we are communal people. We are meant to be a part of something. And that's why Project 90 is so successful, because we come in, we are like-minded people. Our lives are not falling apart. We're doing okay. We also know that little voice inside of us is telling us that we could be doing better. If that's the case, get curious. Come check it out. You can reach me. I'm happy to answer your questions. You can reach me, Victoria at alcoholfreelifestyle.com. You can also download James's free book, How to Quit Alcohol, and check us out at Project 90. You can find that at alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash project 90. I hope today has been helpful. Remember, you're not alone. You're not meant to be alone. And come on over and check out our community. Until next time, this is Coach Victoria. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I want to load you up with some free stuff. If you look in the show description, there's a link there to get my guide, which is the Alcohol Freedom Formula Guide. And in that guide, I will walk you through the process and system for successfully reducing or quitting alcohol. It's the same system and process that I give to my clients inside of Project 90. And if you would like to get your hands on that guide, you can click the link in the description part of this episode, or you can go to alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash guide. Likewise, if you would like to be considered for Project 90 to join our community and get some accountability, some coaching and have fun, achieve some goals over at least 90 days with our help and support, then you're invited to schedule a complimentary coaching call with one of my coaches. You can do that by clicking the link in the show description, or going to alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash schedule. Now, Project 90 is for over 30s only. And it's really for people who are ready to get long-term power over alcohol. You don't have to quit forever, but you will have to quit for at least 90 days with our support. Just a reminder, 95% of my content is free and plastered all over the internet. If you just Google James Swannick and the word alcohol, you'll find that. For those of you who want additional support, if you want coaching, fun, accountability, if you realize that you can't do this on your own or you just plain don't want to, then I invite you to schedule that call and we can talk about if Project 90 is for you. If you would like to take some of my supplements, swannvitality.com is the website. I'll put a link in the show notes as well. I have a liver support product called Loving Liver, which I designed and specially formulated to help remove toxins from your liver after years of alcohol consumption. Again, there's a link in the show description. We've also got a green powder there, which turns into a green juice filled with amazing ingredients to support you and give you energy throughout the day. And there's also a magnesium product, which I take every night to help me prepare for sleep and to sleep through the night. So there's a few options there. Lastly, if this episode or the show in general has helped you or supported you in any way, I would so appreciate it if you would write a review. It really does help the show climb the rankings and expose the show to people who don't yet know about us. So if this show has benefited you in any way and you feel compelled to pay it forward, just writing a short little review, hopefully a nice one will be so appreciated and I will thank you immensely. Lastly, if you'd like to talk to me about anything at all, feel free to send me an email at james at alcoholfreelaststyle.com. I do read and respond to every email. And you can also follow me on Instagram at atjamesswannick, send me a message there. And I look forward to connecting with you soon. Catch you on the next one.