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Published on Sep 18, 2006
Harry Potter tries to get a sex scene into Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, ruins the ending of Half Blood Prince, then pitches "Harry Potter: The Musical" to J.K. Rowling, by singing "Scar" by Missy Higgins. From the 2005 University of Queensland Law Revue.
My Dad was killed, my mother too, betrayed by Peter Pettigrew I was orphaned, they left all alone And before I knew of wizards affairs, I was at the Dursleys underneath the stairs I could not wait, to bid that place adieu A giant smashed down the door of a lighthouse He said I was the boy who lived
'Coz aren't I Harry Potter? Did I come from a magic home? Does it make me a wizard, despite having hormones? But still I feel apprehensive, when everyone's scared of Voldemort He went and killed off my parents, but me? He didn't get far Still, he left me with this scar
On the Hogwarts Train, ate of lot of sweets, met Hermione thought she was a freak And Malfoy, well he gave me the shits At Quidditch catching snitches one by one, flying on my broomstick, boy it was fun And I spent my spare time playing with my wand I'm trying hard not to cheat on my OWLs Or try to perve on Ginny's tits
But aren't I just a teenager, though I found the Philosophers Stone and on the chicks I deliver, but how ugly is Ron And though I might act peculiar, I won the house cup for Gryffindor I found the chamber of secrets, and crashed a flying car Still, at least I've got this scar
JK: Tits? TITS?! It's a children's musical, you can't say TITS!
Harry: Oh, come on JK, it's what I'm thinking. You know the kids today, they'll love it! It'll be like "EXPOSE! Inside Harry's mind!"...
... well, what if I said "norks" instead? "Norks" sounds magical!
I think I realized just in time That Sirius Black was a friend of mine Those Dementors sent chills down my spine But my Patronus it did shine I saw the Goblet of Fire then realized there was a movie, now I'm franchised Tell me, did you think the last book was lame?
And someday I'll be an auror, maybe the best the world has known I'm hoping that when that day comes By then I might have grown But to my astonished horror, I witnessed the death of Dumbledore And I knew all along that Snape was a Death Eater Still at least I've got this scar Yeah, at least I've got this scar Yeah, the chicks they dig this scar