 Hey guys, it's Nakeda Hazina girl and today we're gonna be doing something a little bit special a little bit different actually So if you guys didn't know me my sister have a podcast It's called black sister sekai. Sekai in Japanese means world because we want to introduce you guys to our little black sister world and in our podcast we talk about everything from our experiences in Japan what we've learned along the way if you guys are interested in seeing More episodes definitely let me know in the comments and I'll continue to upload them here on this channel and if you Want to listen to it because you're more of an auditory type person you can actually go to Spotify and Apple podcast and look up black sister sekai and you will find us there. I hope you guys enjoy this episode Hello everybody. Hi everyone and welcome back to the black sister sekai podcast Hey Today is a very special episode Because we have a proper set up y'all we got some equipment We got some equipment. We got a nice fancy mic. We got a nice little set up with a computer and everything I don't know if you guys can tell the difference in the quality of the sound. Hopefully I hope so because that's kind of the whole point You know, I mean, I think some of y'all thought we were playing. We're not playing. We want to be official Exactly. We are a business. We mean business up in here So today I'm really excited actually to get right into the topic because this is something I feel like we talk about together all the time Yeah, and I think it's a topic a lot of people can relate to and that is adulting Adulting adulting adulting. Oh, and don't forget the glow up that comes with the adulting. Oh, yes, of course adulting and glowing up I think it's not growing up. It's the glowing up. Yeah, that's what we've been doing, right? We have and The things that I actually want to talk to you about today. I think we're mostly like related to what exactly is Adelting But I feel like lately we've been kind of messy with the way that we shoot our episodes So we decided to prepare questions in advance. Yes So that we can be consistent with it. I'm fine So let's just pull up these questions. Let's just get right into it When does adulthood start nema? When does it start? I feel like Adelting starts when you leave your parents house. I mean, that's in my personal experience Um, yeah, it's when you decide that you want to start a life on your own from scratch Yeah, because I was gonna say I mean I agree with that But I'm sure there are people who disagree with that because they are still I mean, they're still adults, but yeah, of course with their parents or whatever I think I don't know I don't think necessarily that it starts when you leave your parents house But I think it starts when you realize that you want to start making really serious decisions about your life by yourself You know Like to find serious decisions like really life changing decisions Because when I think back to when I felt like I was really becoming an adult It's like the first big life decision I made for myself was Not even moving to japan actually the first big life decision I made was probably like When I was in high school and I was like, I want to graduate high school early And that's something that nobody asked me to do that. Nobody asked me like hey, you know You want to do this thing? Nobody suggested it to me. It was literally like I woke up one day and was like Yeah, I want to graduate early and then I just made the decision to like look into what it takes to graduate early I started consulting with my, you know guidance counselors and asking her like, you know What is it that I need to do? How do how can I get credits? How can I do all this stuff? Like that was me making a decision completely on my own like unprovoked Nobody pushed me to do it. I just woke up one day with like this is what I want for myself I see, you know what I mean? Yeah, I get that I mean the reason why I couldn't really answer with a different definition is because I'm Talking from my perspective. I feel like that's when I really started I feel like there's always hints of adulthood like I got a job That made a lot of money. I don't know if that I mean by your definition if that would work really but I mean I think for me it only really started when I left Does that make sense? Yeah, that makes sense But wait, are you saying then that you feel like when you had that job you were not adulting? No, I didn't really feel like I was because I feel like I was living a lot by people's standards and expectations for me And not so much what I wanted to do for myself I mean, I knew that I wanted to make more than like the retail Job salary because that's what I was doing before But just because I was sitting at a desk job with other adults didn't make me feel like an adult. I was just like Just feel like myself. Yeah same old. Yeah That makes sense. I guess So you felt like for you it was when you came here basically Yeah, for sure like leaving the comfort of my home Having to come here where there's only just like you and me And a bunch of people I don't know with a culture and a language that I don't know and discover that on my own That was like the biggest thing for sure I see you just do So how do you feel now that you're adulting? It feels great. Honestly. Yeah, I think yeah, like there's like I'm having so many like epiphany moments of like Wow, this is what it needs to be an adult like Um, yeah, I know just like doing my hair the way that I want to And your hair looking real good. Thank you. I did it. You know shout outs to auntie. Auntie Hilda She is the one who hooks us up. Let me tell you. I think I don't know. I feel like we're probably gonna get questions about it Because yeah, I'm sure there's tons of people who are like, how do you get your hair done in japan? You just got to look it up, honey. Okay, you have to go into them forums Yeah, black people forums the black female forums on facebook and find people who braid hair and it's like That's a that's a big part. I think that was like a huge part because I had Like my bull's head like my bald head for the past like what five years or so And when I came here, I was like, no, we're gonna grow her out and we're gonna do different things things We've always wanted to do. Yeah, so hair is definitely a big thing because it's like How do you want the world to perceive you and how do you want to be confident? Like how do you want to present yourself to the world? And also like I feel like confidence always starts with the way that you see yourself Yeah, and when you feel and look your best, that's like You're taking off you're true. You can go wherever you want to go And I didn't know that was a big deal, but that's something else that I learned But I think the second thing would be like other than hair. It's kind of still in like the meet them in no region Like the appearance area. Um, it's like, uh, what's it called piercings? You know, oh, yes And yourself some piercings, you know, I got quite a few as you can tell So the people who are watching the video, but I got you know, the most recent one was from What's it called four weeks ago? I think yeah, it's been exactly a month. I stepped them I got a step them. I was pinning for days. Yeah, you've been wanting one for forever And I'm just so happy because I think now when I look at you like how you look now I'm just like, this is the you that you've always wanted to be and I know that because every time You came to Japan every time you came to visit me You'd be like, oh man, I just wish that I could get a piercing I wish I could do this that and the other thing and you never did any of them Yeah, until this year. Yeah, so I'm proud of you for that. Thank you Yeah, so that's pretty much what I would say like appearance-wise and then also just kind of Living the life that you want. It's very vague, but it's pretty much it's really self-explanatory. Yeah I was gonna say for me. I think I started feeling like an adult when I had like Adult worries. Do you know what I mean? Like I wasn't just worrying about like, oh man school's so annoying and like Oh, my mom and dad didn't pick me up from school. I was like, no I said I'm worrying about like, what am I gonna eat this week? How am I gonna pay my bills? How am I gonna get myself from point A to point B? Am I saving enough money? Like when I started thinking about those things I was like, oh damn like the things I'm worrying about now are just so different Yeah, and I remember that happened for the first time when I came to visit Japan It wasn't even when I moved here It was like when I just came here to visit for three months and at that time I mean I was just technically on vacation, you know But I was still living on my own and that was the first time I had a taste of that Like what it's like to just be like taking care of yourself and not have anyone else Take care of you except for yourself And I remember coming back from that. I mean, I think at the time I was like Yeah, I was still 17 when I came back from my trip to Japan and like my high school friends were like Oh my god, what are you gonna like wear to prom? Like I'm just like so worried about my dress And I remember being like this is all so irrelevant The amount of things I had to worry about when I was away versus like what people are now like Gossiping about and chit chatting about amongst themselves Like I just felt so like I'm just at a different place in my life than you guys, you know And that's when I think I had a taste of what it's like to be an adult I don't think I felt like an adult then but I was like, oh dang like This is this is what it means to like Level up Right And to like move on to like a different stage of your life than your friends, you know So yeah So what do you feel like comes to mind when you think of the word adult? What's the first thing? I mean, I think till when I was a kid like my image of adult was like 25 you got a job and you got a car and you're driving yourself from home to work and You're paying your bills, which now that I think about it is not that far off I think the only part of my vision of what I would be like at 25 that doesn't Like apply or that isn't accurate is the fact that I I don't have a car Which I'm okay with because I don't need a car really drives here But then again, I'm also not 25 yet. So who knows Yeah, but you're you're gonna be 25 in two years. I know that's crazy And actually almost it's gonna be a year because next year. I'm turning 24 true Saying that it just gives me a heart attack It's fine though. Like I think you're you're doing really well Like yeah, I mean one thing I always like I always think about living here together with you You know just doing like, you know plain old everyday things is like You were the example of like what adulting means to me and like I think it was so great to even just have you as like a friend And a sister and be like wow like she's she's adulting and I get to have that like Person who I can run to and like ask questions While I get to also see you like witness you living Your best adult life You're doing great. I'm gonna be honest. You're doing really great But it's so nice to have that because I yeah, I think You were the example for a lot of things and what it means to be an adult like what it means to be a friend An adult friend if that makes it Like you know what I mean like the friendships that you have when you're an adult versus the friendships You have as a kid are very different. Yeah, and I think you were the perfect example of that Here for me or like what it means to like be an adult and do what you want Like how to make things happen. I mean this girl's making it happen. She's a model You know, she got she started this whole social thing like the like, you know Not to say that we're discrediting everybody else But I think you had like that drive and that vision and then you've got everybody else and everybody else is like super What's the word putting in the effort and working towards like making that vision a reality And yeah, no, I'm just like you've just Layed it all down for us. Yeah, even our younger brothers Caleb and Josh shout out to you guys Um, they think the exact same thing about you like we'd have so many conversations back at home and be like dang So now let's do this. Oh my gosh. That's so great. And even mom and dad too like you would inspire them. So She got it going on just a little bit. Uh, you know, just thought I would let you know Thank you. Wow. I was not expecting to be showered with compliments right now I'm like a little flustered But I it's weird because I don't really I never once had that thought like I never once had this like Feeling of like wow, I made it. I'm just doing the damn thing. Like no, I really honestly constantly just feel like, okay What's next? Okay, what do I need to do next? Okay. Now that I'm done this. What's next? Like I feel like I'm constantly like almost like on this wheel that I'm just constantly running on and I just Yeah, I never stopped to think to myself like wow, look how far we've come like it's been it's been a long journey You know what I mean? Yeah, and I think that's what makes you so good at achieving things Like you're just always like like rock climbing, you know, get to the next level get to you know So that's I think that's good that makes you you know Mix your goals a reality That's true But I also think that it's my biggest flaw and also my biggest asset at the same time Because because of the fact that I do so many things at once Like it's hard for me to focus on one thing and get one thing done But at the same time, yeah because I'm doing so much. I'm also accomplishing Really you think that? Yeah Like I feel sometimes I'm just like I'm doing so many things at once that it's hard for me to focus On one thing Like I'll be doing one project and then I'm like, oh damn. I gotta do another good thing I mean technically It is but like let's say for example, you you really want to finish a particular project, right? But you've also got like three other things that you have to do And then you end up doing those three things But you don't end up getting all three things done But you started them like I feel like that's a lot of the things I see It's like I start things and then I start other things and then I start other things and then the other things are just Kind of lock-in And I think that to me has always been like, oh man, that's something I want to work on And speaking of which actually Was I didn't mean to like no, no you're going to be in the screen, but I was just like I felt a question coming for me Oh And speaking of which actually I wanted to get into some questions. We I think we actually well I mean I'm acting like you don't know the questions You know them because you literally we looked them up together. Yes, we did I think it's going to be a really good series of questions to ask ourselves because We literally are about to start a new year Yeah So it's going to be good, you know, we can ask ourselves some things reflect on the past year think about what we've been up to Hopefully I don't mix up 2019 for 2020 because 2020 just erased Wait, we're in 2021. What are you talking about? Girl It's a mess. It's a mess. Girl. Do you remember anything about this year? You good? No, I need a refresher. You need to spell through your old photos. Yeah, I'm good. We're all right Okay, so let's just get right into the questions then. Um, the first one is what was I doing a year ago? Um a year ago It had been about 24 days exactly to the day. Um That I had been in Japan I don't remember exactly what I was doing, but I was probably just moping around What do you mean moping around moping around like I was just so like I had so many like hot and cold Feelings about being here like I was excited to be abroad, but I was also like I miss my family. What am I doing here? I don't know what I want like yeah, and I mean Senna and I talk about this a lot I was a completely different person a year ago. Like I really were I was low-key kind of depressed. You were bald You had no piercings. You were not you were complaining about your clothes every day Really? You were like, I need to buy any clothes. These clothes are atrocious Why did I bring this from Canada? This is terrible. You complained about your clothes at least once a day Oh, yeah for sure. I think it's because again I just wasn't happy with the way I looked with myself and just with a lot of things You felt like your parents didn't reflect who you were actually was and it's because of money Like I was just constantly being told like to save to come here, which I'm grateful for and it did end up helping me out But I just wasn't able to see like what was ahead. Like I just had this very tunnel division. It was very dark So that's where I was a year ago But yeah, what about you? I think a year ago. I was at a completely different place. I was finishing My last year of fashion college and I remember this time last year I was actually preparing for my graduation show Which was in early January So I was really cramming in like the last bits of sewing the last bits of scrap fabric Yeah, I was really just you know pedal to the metal trying to get through this Fashion show and I was also in a completely different relationship Okay, that changed don't worry And I think like I thought I was happy But I was really stressed And I was just constantly thinking about like my future what I'm gonna do because of course at that time I was wondering what I'm gonna do for a job Like I really was questioning myself and being like damn like what am I going to do With my life after I graduate fashion college. I really don't know what the heck I'm gonna do Because at that time all the job options that were available to me Were just no longer a thing because of covid and so I remember that too and having to job hunt when people were not hiring was a struggle And a half. So I was just yeah, I was really struggling. I was constantly worrying But I remember like towards the end of 2020 all I wanted to do was finish my graduation show I just wanted to get that over so I could focus on getting a job Yeah, I remember like Bunko wasn't really everything that you would imagine It would be like I think by the second year am I wrong Yeah, like you you were just done like yeah just done My third year was a little bit better, but my second year was definitely really rough Like that was probably the closest I've ever come to considering quitting So when I got into my third year things got a little bit easier because like it wasn't as intense when it comes to like The assignments and stuff like that So um, yeah, mostly I was just focusing on like graduating getting my show done Um, and then getting a job So it was a little bit better my third year But still like I think I felt like man was it the right choice that I made to go to Bunko Like I was really on the fence about that But of course at that point it's like it's too late for me to like right, you know, yeah be regretting things So yeah, so what let's go to the second question now Um, do you enjoy the way that you spend your time? Um right now. Yes, absolutely First of all, I never had like a period of time in my life Where I could just be home and work from home and really get everything done And I think I'm a homebody so like I very much enjoy being able to just like get everything done from home Um, so yeah, right now. I'm just spending my time doing all the stuff that I love I'm doing, you know, black sister set guy with you. Yeah, I'm doing so so our youtube channel and collaborative Yeah our collaborative group, you know in project And I'm also doing modeling which I absolutely love and then I'm also working as like a social media, you know Marketer slash advertising or whatever and doing branding as well for a company So I'm doing all the things that I love like if I could do all of this Completely full-time and like officially on like a legitimate full-time 5,000-year visa in japan, that would be great That would be Yeah, it's not a thing But you know what I mean like that like level of security or you're just like, I don't gotta worry about visas You know, I'm good. I see dang. I didn't know you felt like that. I do. I'm like very happy right now And I'm I'm low-key a little bit scared about how next year is gonna go because I'm going back to school again And I feel like putting school back into the equation is gonna really just stir up the pot In a good way obviously because you know, I'll get a degree. Yay, but like I'm a bit worried not gonna lie I feel like I've been living the good life until now. So I feel like there's always the option of like graduating early So I mean that's not and I mean worst-case scenario just drop out Life is too much for all of that stuff. It's true. No, it's true. It's too much. You don't you don't need to put yourself through that Um, what about you? I feel like I'm getting there Like I'm at this point where I'm just really craving growth. Yeah, and I'm gonna be honest Like I feel like I was off of social media like instagram I never made an instagram account until I came here Um, and and I never made a tiktok account either until you like got drew me in pushed you over the deep end You really did. Do you feel like you're wasting your time on social media though? I feel like sometimes I am like I feel like I use it to procrastinate From doing the things that I should be doing to push me forward because I feel like I'm a lot of the times I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of not succeeding I'm afraid of just like a lot of things So I use social media to like procrastinate and just like drown my thoughts and like being bongs and like I know of it when I'm out of here You're that all that immediately know And um, yeah, I'm gonna be honest like I have all of these things I I know I love like I know I love waking up early in the morning and like going for a walk and like doing yoga in the morning and like Writing and reading, but it's like I don't make time for those things because I didn't I didn't know you did yoga Yeah, I do every morning You don't even know But yeah, I know like I know I like all of those things and those are things that I want to incorporate in my daily life But it's like I just drown myself in social media till the late hours of the night And then I have no like like I wake up groggy, you know, I wake up groggy and I'm just like Oh, and then it like that affects the way that my day goes because the night before I was up doing things That just did not need to be done But um, yeah, so I'm gonna be honest. I feel like it affects my mood a lot like I'm just like more Finished like I just okay. I'm done like, you know, I mean it just makes me kind of Go day by day and not actually do what I want if that makes any sense So what about right now because right now you're on break. You're not going to school For Christmas break. I mean right now is kind of like this You know time period that I have off of school is making me realize that I need to put what I want first It always has to be it cannot be put off and I think Yeah, it's hard because again, I'm typically I don't want to do the things that I want to do because of fear Does that does that make sense? Like I'm too scared to do the things that I want to do or or it's lack of consistency It's either one of those two fear or lack of consistency because consistency is hard You got to be motivated self motivated. You got to want what's best for yourself. You got to have self control So I feel like You know to sum it up I'm not I don't like the way I spend my time, but I'm working on it Like literally I've been building this morning routine. You are not aware of it, but I have been yeah No, I had no clue. So yeah, good for you. I mean, I don't got a morning routine I just wake up for a lot of it and start working. Yeah Which I wish I could I wish I yeah, I wish I'd better with that, but it's okay. I'm working on it We're working on it. Yes No, because I the reason why I'm working on my morning routine specifically is because I realized I'm a morning person But also because I was listening to this other podcast of this lady Where she was basically just talking about how like a lot of the people like I guess you'd say successful people they say that The morning the way that you start your morning is so important And she just gave like really three really like good key Like things to remember or things to apply in your morning routine So that you can kind of start the day off, right? And I listened to that was so inspired and I was like girl We got to get it together. Um, so yeah, that's that's that's all Nice That's a great thing to like change especially as the new year's Yeah, and one thing another thing can I just mention this another thing that I'm just choosing not to My it can come later. Should I say it now? Let me just say it later. Okay. I feel it's going to be long Yeah, it is Just a little bit. Okay. The next question is What do I need to learn next? um Yeah, overcome my fears I feel like just simply put overcome my fears I feel like again, I want to do a lot of things. I'm just afraid of a lot of things like perfect examples this hair Okay, your girl went through lots of Anti-black thoughts that had to be un unrooted unweeded. This is uh, why because you have a soft walk Um Also, I put You don't say that it's Yeah, but it's kind of the same thing as how you know, it's like oki. Oh, is it? Yeah, but they say oki now Okay What do you feel like you need to learn next Anna? um, I feel like the thing I need to learn next is how to Be more scheduled. Um, I feel like right now I just kind of do things um That need to get done and I just try my best to like Use the time that I have to get them done But I feel like if I want to really push myself to the next level I need to start having a routine So yeah, I just feel like I need to put together like a proper schedule a proper routine And I need to like get it together, you know, like I feel like right now I'm getting stuff done But I'm not getting stuff done in a timely manner Like I want to get things done within a day and then I get them done in two days Or I say that I want to get something done Um by the end of the week and then it takes me two weeks Like I don't like that and I feel like the way to fix that would be to be more Like scheduled like to be more have like a more routine way to do things Yeah, yeah routine. They're so powerful. They are like they really make or break you. Yeah It's it's really underestimated like I don't think people realize that yeah And I think I used to think like oh routines like that's so Like for rich paypal or whatever like people really got their life together Yeah, you know what I mean like really like highly successful people that like have it all together They got a lot of money. They have like their routine down But like it's not it's just a decision you have to make and then you just make changes and that's it, you know So yeah, that's what I want to work on next year next question name the things in life You are most passionate about I love talking about things that make you passionate. Wait, what the make you passionate like make yourself I love talking about things that I'm passionate about I would say the things that I'm passionate about are my people. I love my people. I love black people I love me some african-american some people with caribbean, you know people from the miller land africans You know everywhere from the islands. I love I love our people. I don't know where that love I think that love comes from Our family our upbringing. We just had a lot of you know You know Just positive black experience. Yeah, and we met different kinds of black people. Yeah, that was that's definitely a thing Are the mics making you nervous? But yeah, I would say that's definitely you know something i'm passionate about other than that I would say i'm definitely passionate about art like over I realized the other day that I overall just love all forms of art theater literature Fine art music Dance literally everything all kinds of art just makes me just makes my heart skip a beat, you know And I would also say oh I forgot to mention fashion, but that's kind of in the art category too fashion um another thing i'm passionate about I mean I already mentioned it. They're kind of all in the same Art bowl, but if I were to pick my favorite from the art bowl, it would be like literature books. I love books and fashion And music Those would be the three Love it. Thank you. I think that's very Accurate. Yeah, you definitely are passionate about those things. Yeah I think for me though the things that I'm passionate about at least lately Is like I've been really passionate about myself and I'm just kidding I think I've been passionate about like just Different like creative outlets like finding different creative outlets I mean like this is one, you know like podcasting is something I had never done before But I was really like getting into in the past year And I think I never really considered trying it out for myself But I think this year I've just been so into this idea of Expressing yourself in as many different ways as possible. Like what do you mean? Like basically like you know this year Obviously I've been modeling modeling is something I've been doing for like a few years now But the things that I've been doing for the first time is like doing a group project like sozo You know like you're doing basically. Yeah, like a creative collective where we're a bunch of different creative people Trying different things together That's like an opportunity that I think has been so much fun for me because there's so many things I've never done before I've never even considered doing before that I'm trying out for the first time Because we're in a group setting where everyone is kind of doing that thing or whatever, you know what I mean And I think like yeah lately I've just been really passionate about trying to find different ways to express myself trying to find different ways to Like create new things and put myself out there Because yeah, I think like being in fashion college was great It was such a fun experience and my whole life. I was like, I'm the fashion girl I want to do fashion. I want to make clothes. I love sketching clothes. I just I'm a I'm a fashion girl But then like going to fashion college I saw people who were like so passionate about it that that's all they wanted to do in their entire lives And then I had this epiphany where I was like, I actually don't just want to do fashion Like I love being a jack of all trades. I love doing different things And I think that in the future. I don't see myself just doing fashion. It's just not like Something I see myself doing, you know, it's not to say that I'm never going to do fashion ever And that's just not going to be my thing anymore. It's just not going to be as linear. Yeah, exactly It's not going to be the only thing that I ever do. That's that's just not me So Yeah, this year's been fun because I think I've been discovering all these different things that I'm capable of doing That I never knew that I was So it's been a lot of fun. Yeah, I think I'm passionate about that. Let's go on to the next question Yes, is there anything I feel like is missing from my life? That's a good question. Hmm Anything I feel like is missing from my life I don't know. I know for me. Yeah adventure Why are you laughing? That was such a lame answer. It's true though Like I feel like I'm missing the sense of like adventure. I feel like it's just very like like going out Yeah, yeah, yeah, not not going out to the club, you know, I mean, it'll be nice but I mean, I feel like I'm missing the sense of spontaneity the sense of like you want to do it you Yeah, that kind of thing. Okay. I feel like I'm I'm very like Calculated and I'm like no just stay in my four walls, which is good for the pandemic But I mean girl, you gotta live your life. Yeah, it's not good for your mental Yeah, exactly. I agree with that actually because it's true I feel like this past year like I don't know a lot of my like really close friends are not in Japan And a lot of people that I got really close to in the past couple years that I've been here Are either no longer here or I just don't see them as often as I did before maybe And I think that's kind of made me a little bit like a home body And now I can't be bothered to like go out very often because I'm just like I'm good at home I'll be fine. So it's true. Like I think I do need to like get out there a bit more Like travel a bit more. Yeah, I hope the next year I can do that And you could probably do that through you know your school Well, yeah, maybe maybe maybe I'll go on exchange or something. I feel like I'll be fun Leave Japan for a bit because I've been here for like Oh goodness gracious five years like and I haven't even moved cities, you know Like yeah, I moved apartments, but I'm still in Tokyo and I feel like I just need to like Get a taste of somewhere else. You know what I mean? Yeah, who knows stay tuned. I'll keep you guys updated So moving on to the next question number seven pick someone you really admire and list out the reasons you admire them Um, I'm gonna go for non-family members Good choice. Oh, yeah, just you know just to mix it up just to change it up I feel like I really showered you with compliments. I really do. You're welcome Um, I think the first person that comes to mind and you already know this is Solange. Noel Smith I absolutely love her. She's like Just a pioneer for black people like I love her album a seat at the table And I can't remember the other one. Oh when I when I when I come home I hope that's correct or else people might have for you. I promise I'm a fan But yeah, no, she like is just amazing and I think I just love her The way she's using her artistry to like speak to black people in a different way And I mean when I was listening to her album her music. I'm just like, wow, I'm elite I'm a part of this club Who and I've never felt that way with like an artist before. Yeah, um, and she just really makes you feel like yeah You the queen you the king, you know Um just for simply being black and that's like amazing, you know living in this world in this day and age And um, yeah, no, she's amazing because she literally comes up with the concepts for like her shoots Like she's a creative director, you know, she comes up like obviously she's a musician. She's a singer. She's a producer She like makes the choreographies for her like live performances But if you've seen them in person or on youtube on the internet somewhere She's very creative and like, um, yeah, and I think it's great that she's kind of the you know She's kind of she's a sister. Hey, she's a sister, you know, of course to the well, um, you know Sekaiju, you know What do you generally say Like world-renowned artists I'm still learning japanese guys. It's okay. Anyways, um, so yeah so she's like really awesome and because like, you know having Beyonce's a sister She doesn't let that stop her from like being like, oh The world will never know me like no they will know and she's even had like her like what's it called Guggenheim museum like her works be posted in the Guggenheim museum and stuff like that. I'm like girl You get it. So yeah, so I just love her. She's just a trailblazer. She's cool She's doing her own thing She's doing it for black people and she's using her artistry in new and innovative ways that every time just, you know Pull on my heartstrings and I'm waiting for a new album because um, it's about time That's true. I think she's dropping a new one. So I think so. Yeah, she was giving hints on instagram I'm not sure though. We'll see. Yeah, but I've heard you go on and on about her. I will never stop. She's amazing Yeah, she is pretty great. I you put me on to her too because I really wasn't into her stuff until you mentioned it Yeah, were you gonna do something? Oh, yeah No, and also like she's like discovered like other smaller black artists who like she's brought them up through her Oh, I can't remember. Oh my gosh her artistry her artistry. Yeah, it's like stampa and kalala Yeah, I don't know no I know kalala. You know kalala. I should put me on. Oh, yeah, you I always think about yeah What about you? um A person I admire. I think a person I admire personally I mean, I feel like this is obvious. I mentioned it a lot It's queen reread. Okay. Oh, yeah Queen reread is just doing the damn thing I feel like the reason why I love her so much is because she really does embody What it means to be a successful jack of all trades And everybody knew her for her music and everybody's like, well, I don't know when's the new album But like the truth is she doesn't need she doesn't need music anymore. She doesn't owe us anything No, she is is she a billionaire with a B? I think she I think it's billionaire. Yeah. Yeah She's a billionaire now and she's making bank. She's making coin And she's not writing songs anymore And I think the people that are begging for her to write new songs should let her be because the truth is Like that's what it means to be a jack of all trades I feel like it's really just you have tons of talents tons of different things that you're doing And you just know how to make coin from it and you don't got to do the same thing every single day Yeah, so I love her for that. She's like Obviously just amazing singer super talented like her fashion is impeccable. She's literally my fashion icon She's just always on point and then she not only came out with like a makeup line She also came out with skincare. She came up with lingerie her lingerie show for fenty xavage is always crazy It's always amazing point and she's just like trailblazing just changing the game when it comes to like, you know body body positivity And also, um, what is it fashion? Yeah, fashion in general Also, like when she came out with like all those different skin tone, you know Like shades for her fenty foundation and like different skin tones people were shooketh And I feel like that should be the norm. It should she just like opened up a lot of people's eyes She she took that opportunity Yeah, all of those like big brand name makeup brands had the opportunity that they just never did Nope for whatever reason I don't know why never did so she did it. Yeah, and I just I feel like that's the kind of person I want to be like just doing a bunch of things But also like doing each thing well like just being successful with the different things that I'm doing and I just admire her for that She's can I just say it's pretty amazing that we both really admire two really great black women I love that I love that I love that too. Yeah, and I can also very like I can see like how our values align and why Like it just makes sense as to why we admire who we admire, you know, I mean like I see cream weary I'm like I see that in the way you you comport yourself the decisions you make You know the way that you're going about your life and I see that for myself too when it comes to this launch So that's this is really cool. Yeah, it is. I love that for us. Wow Oh Next question a little bit of a serious question. Oh, is it? Yeah, kind of okay. Go ahead. Yeah, uh, how do you speak to yourself in your mind? Sam I didn't really thought about this one. Oh How do I speak to myself? I feel like I try not to beat myself up I really do like I feel like a lot of what I'm talking about is like, it's okay. You'll be fine. Just keep going It's okay. Don't worry about that thing. It's okay. Just focus on that. Like I a lot of it is reassurance And I think that's also why my love language is worth of affirmation or one of my top love languages Is worth of affirmation because if somebody can give me that instead of me constantly having to give that to myself Yeah, it makes me feel really loved. Yeah, you know, yeah Because I think that's how I try to practice self-love is by being like you're fine You'll be okay. It's all good. And of course that's dangerous because it can like border to the edge of denial You know what I mean? Yeah, but I feel like for the most part. I'm just like Yeah, I'm just constantly trying to encourage myself And I'm trying to be my own best friend and a lot of conversations I have with myself is like You know, yeah, you haven't reached there yet, but you'll be fine. You'll figure it out You'll be okay. Yeah, it's pretty much just a lot of self encouragement, you know So, yeah, that's good. You don't have any negative thoughts. I mean, of course Of course, I do but I honestly I shut them up How do you shut them up? You're like, I think I'm very good at like Like what's the word? No, no, it's not composed. It's self Like compartmentalizing. Yeah, what does that mean? It means like you just put things aside Like this goes there that goes here like oh, this is garbage. Yeah, it's like exactly It's like when the the negative thoughts start to come in I am really good at repressing them. Sometimes actually I wouldn't say I'm really good It's just that I just do that Like I'll distract myself or I'll think about something else or I'll work on something. Really? Yeah, like I try not to let myself Beat myself up because the truth is the world is going to do that for me True The world is going to make me feel like trash. The world is going to Say things about me that are, you know, not so nice And I feel like I just don't need to add to all that noise. It's true Like I just need to be my own best friend and come see me uplifting myself And I know that that maybe sounds a little bit fake. Like, oh, I'm just like, I'm just great. No, I'm not great I do have dark thoughts and bad thoughts and whatever But I just I'm I'm working on that because Yeah, I don't let them in basically the answer Yeah, I think for me it had to it had to drastically change this year. Like it was very bad And I I was never aware of my own thoughts like until this year when I was like Oh negative. So talk is a thing. Oh The person who used to be to the most throughout the day is yourself And that defines the way that you again carry yourself in the world And I mean not to get into the law of attraction Not necessarily what I believe in but it's true Like you do like if you walk into a room Not feeling confident feeling ugly because that's what you're telling yourself people will treat you as such You know, like for sure. It's not it's not fake. It's real, you know And so I had to change that it was a lot of negative things. I mean you could name it is it was all there, you know and Yeah, like I I realized like the biggest epiphany for me was I realized that I babysit kids For like, you know as a part-time job and I'm so gentle with them. I'm so kind. I'm so patient I'm so forgiving. But when it comes to myself, I'm constantly beating myself up Constantly saying all these things are so so hurtful And that prevent like that make me want to hide myself, you know And then and then when I'm hiding I'm like why I hate being alone with myself because I'm my worst enemy very deep But it's very real. Um, and so yeah, I was like we need to change this. So recently like I It's a small victory, but it's a big victory at the same time We were writing an exam for my Japanese language class obviously all in Japanese And you know, it's the end of the year like not end of the year but end of semester test So to go on to the next level and I was like telling Senna when I came home I'm so happy because I managed to stop doing this negative self-talk while doing like doing the test Because a lot of the people like at the end of the test were like, oh, I failed that. Oh, that was not good I mean, it's normal to feel anxious after doing a test But I think for me, I was like I was like now I did really well like I feel good Like yeah, I was not like I didn't have a single regret. Of course. There was mistakes Like that's a given. I'm a student. I'm learning Japanese right now But I didn't have a regret a single regret like and I wasn't like you could have done this better You'll fail and won't be holding when I got my results back. I was like, wow, this is not bad, you know Yeah, so yeah, like I'm being more patient with myself Of course, there's still moments where I catch myself and I'm like girl Are we really doing this? That's what's important is catching yourself. Yeah, like catching the fact that you're falling into that like Spiral of negative thoughts and then stopping yourself in your tracks is literally the most important thing because If you even just let one little negative thoughts slip in it literally snowballs and it just gets out of control Yeah, you know, so catching it in its tracks, especially when it's like you just Randomly started having negative thoughts like that's the moment where you get well take a step back Why am I having this thought what's going on and reassess from there? Yeah And honestly shout out to beanie lee on youtube if you guys know her if you don't know her check her out She's amazing. She's amazing and she literally helped me realize all of these things Yeah, because I really wasn't aware of these things like it's your self-talk is so important What you're telling yourself and what you believe about yourself. Yeah, that's so important. Yeah Next question next question is what things do you really want to learn before you die? Oh, this is so good Huh, what things do I want to learn? I don't know like I'm just I'm just so Curious to know what every chapter of life brings, you know, like what does that look like? How different is your life in your 20s than it is in your 40s than it is in your 50s or your 60s? God willing if I make it there, you know, but that kind of thing, you know, I'm just Just so curious to know because life is so interesting and so beautiful. Yeah, and like Yeah, I don't know just like that's all I'm really curious about. I don't know just like what does life bring What are the new challenges? What are the new the new lessons? Yeah, as you proceed and and move on in life. That makes sense I I feel like it sounds very vague, but I know what you mean like you're just looking forward to learning whatever it is Yeah, for me. I have one that's very concrete actually really. Yeah, and that's just I want to learn how to manage my money better I feel like I'm trash with money. I'm not trash. I feel like I'm better than I was before for sure But I want to be I want to be the best. I don't want to be just okay Like, you know, yeah So I feel like yeah, the next step in my life is really to figure out and manage money properly Especially because I'm going back to school. So I'm gonna be, you know, rocking up that student. I'm not excited about that one But I want to like figure out how to overcome that and start making money and then like just be stacking up my money You know what I mean? Like I want to like really just learn how to do that And I'm hoping that this next year I'll be able to learn how to do that and you really successful at it Yeah, you're like reading forex or whatever it's called. I mean, yeah I was like into it for a bit But like the truth is like before I get into like forex Like I need to learn how to like manage the little money that I do have now before I start like trying to make millions You know, like that's yeah, that's not the right way to step to take like I I realized that and I was like, okay Let's calm down a little bit. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, that's great. Yeah next question Um, what ways can I better my life in the next month? Oh good question. I mean, it's perfect timing because next year is I know it is January 2022 new year. Yep um, hmm I really thought about this one. Actually, no, that's not true. I have thought about this one There's one thing that I've been dying to do and that is like just become more physically active Because I realize now that I'm I'm I'm kind of like past It's not past yet, but I'm getting to the point where I will be past my peak if that makes any sense So before I let it get to that dire point where like it's just out of control and I don't know what to do with myself I want to like get into like a good active like rhythm And just be able to keep up with that for like, you know the upcoming years of my life But I feel like right now like I'm pretty much a couch potato I'm not really doing anything to like be active other than what I do pretty much on a daily basis We're just like walk around town run to catch that Densha. Exactly run to catch that Densha because she ain't Leaving that train. She's gone. You gotta you gotta look it. You got five minutes So, yeah, that's kind of what I want to do. I'm thinking of taking up pole dancing I'm thinking of doing I want to like start going to the gym actively too. I used to do that and I want to get back Into that. Yeah, I also want to get a bicycle start biking around town I think that would be really fun and it's possible if I get there maybe start doing like small runs here and there I think that would be kind of cool too if I could get into that, you know But yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking of nice for the next month. Yeah, I think for me, um The ways that I can better my life in the next month is number one Taking every single day as a single unit like not thinking three months ahead six months ahead a year ahead What's gonna happen? What are we gonna do? Literally All I know is a day. Yeah, that's the only unit that I'm choosing to live my life by because I had a lot of anxious thoughts And that those anxious thoughts would make me Procrastinate on everything that I've ever wanted to do or accomplish in my life And I'm not about that anymore. All I know is today. What can I do right now? All I got is 10 minutes 50 minutes. How can I use this 10 minutes 50 minutes to better myself? To do what I want to get to get closer to my goals and even this whole new year new me. I'm over it Like it's just all I know is today and tomorrow and the next and the next Um, so yeah, so about a time once about a time. Um, you're gonna see something Yeah, I was gonna say I think that's why people are really into bullet journaling because Literally, it's it's about like taking a day by day and then reflecting back back on the month And then again taking a day by day. Like it's not about being like 25 years from now I hope I have a mention in bahamas. No, like no, no just talk about right now What can you fix right now? You got to pay you got places to be you got things to do you got to work your job You know I'm saying. Mm-hmm. So focus on that. Yeah, and I would say the next thing is definitely like doing what I want Prioritizing myself. I have a life. You have a life. We all have lives They crisscross and the and the you know, yeah, they crisscross with each other But at the end of the day my life is my life. It's my own path and just constantly putting myself first Putting what I need next first, you know So not going at the pace of everybody else but going at my own pace because I know what I need And I want to be happy and I want to do what I want to do, you know Um Yeah, I like that because prioritizing yourself is again another one of those things That's like it just it sounds easy when you say it But when things actually start to like pile up and stuff that's when you realize like all crap I'm no longer prioritizing myself. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and I think like concretely what that means for me is again Like I mentioned is like having a healthy morning routine Like for me that that the morning sets the tone for me. I already mentioned this before but yeah, like Doing the things that I love in the morning or like, yeah, just prioritizing myself at the start of the day and I think That for me helps me be grateful And prepares me for what I want to accomplish next, you know Um Is that it for the questions? Uh, yeah, and then the wait the bonus question that I had for the two of us. Yes What piece of advice would you give me? And what piece of advice would I give you since you know, we live together. We know each other were sisters Um, I think my number one piece of advice that I would give you is don't overthink it Trust your gut and go with your gut. Okay Because let me tell you that sucker is gonna take your right where you need to know No, because like I feel like your your gut instinct is something that's so like Representative of how you truly feel and I think you oftentimes have like a very strong gut instinct about something But a lot of the times it's like the the thoughts that surround that that prevent you from You know, like acknowledging that feeling that you have right So I just think yeah, my advice you would be don't overthink things Just make the decision that you feel at the bottom of your heart is really the right one. Yeah, you know I love that. Yeah, because you know, I'm at this bridge where I'm trying to Decide whether to go left or right when it comes to university. Yeah And I think you'll make the right choice with that like you'll figure it out. You'll you know, you'll make the choice That's right for you. So, yeah, thank you I think for my piece of advice to you would be that you just take Better care of yourself better when I word it with the word better. It sounds like oh, you're doing a trash job But I mean just like caring for yourself being so gentle with yourself because I think that you Receive that so well when I do, you know, just small things here and there to be like, so now Yeah, let's let's have dinner together or like, you know, do you need a blanket? You want some tea? You know that kind of thing I think that you need to be doing that more and like implementing that more and like a date in your daily routine And yeah, because you're very you're very delicate. You're you're you're Delicate you're worth lots Gee thanks, you're welcome. No, I know what you mean because I think I'm very like hard on myself Like I'm very like rough like push myself over the edge, you know, take myself to the limit Like I'm very hard on myself sometimes. Yeah, there's two that sometimes like the little things is what makes a difference I agree and sometimes I pity you because I'm like, why are you sleeping on the couch with your full clothes and your makeup on And then all I can do is here. So now here's a blanket. Here's your makeup. Why it's okay. You done UK cold You know You can edit that it's fine. I won't I'll keep it in it's it's the truth No, it's true I I know that I drive myself to the edge sometimes and that's one of the things that like I really appreciate like living with you because I feel like You really you know me and you know that I do that to myself And so a lot of times you don't criticize me. You're never like, what are you doing? You crazy? You just like no, like I see that you're working hard, but you know, take care of yourself. So I appreciate that. That's true I should do that. Yeah. And now the question I have for you guys. I haven't I already came up with it. Oh, wow She's prepared. I'm prepared. I'm prepared. Okay. So the question I have for you guys is When was the last time you did something for the first time? Oh, that's a good question. Found that on Pinterest Nevermind, it's fine. But yeah, so let us know there's going to be a few options popped down there Think about it guys, you know, your life is meant to be lived. Don't waste a second You don't know how much longer you have but That should make you want to live your life to the fullest. You know what I'm saying? Very true And last time I did something. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to cut you up. No, you're good The last time I did something for the first time is literally right now What was that with the new shooting? Yeah with this new equipment, you know Trying to figure out this whole podcasting thing. It's been fun But yeah today doing this for the first time has been a lot of fun I get a high off of doing new things. You know what I mean? I think that's like that's my drug So what's your answer? Oh, I have to give an answer. Of course. Yeah, we can't ask the people and not answer the question I mean I mean I start working out by myself in my room. Oh, yeah, that's the thing. Is that is that a first time? Yeah, no that works. I just restarted. I just restarted. Oh, then that doesn't count Okay, well that's a fail. Um, well, we're excited to read you guys's answers Actually, technically we can only take answers from people on youtube So if you're watching on youtube, you can reply in the comments. Yeah spotify on spotify. You can't answer like No, not in the comments. We can put like a poll. Yeah, we'll try yesterday We'll see if you're listening from spotify and you see a poll then You know answer the poll go ahead leave us your answers If you're watching on youtube, make sure to comment down below. Let us know and um, uh, yeah This has been great. This has been great. I enjoyed this greatly Um, we wish you guys a happy new year. Yes. Hope you guys spend a really great, you know, christmas holidays with your family Yes, make sure to just live your best life in 2022. Okay, don't let people stop you from being your best self period Okay, bye