 Am I gonna spew dude do it like we called them spewies or huggies because every time you're talking to me spewed Or you just end up hugging him, right? And we all share the same needle luckily everyone I'm so sad because I need drinking buddies 7 a.m. If I eat my own shit will you guys get up and party with me? Welcome to episode number 20 on the start it's the interview Yeah, I know it is a start. We're starting with Blake Brown Duh, I'm here. What episode is this 24 25 25? Fuck that's not my lucky number. What is your lucky number? I don't know And fucking we've got uh, mr. Blake melbourne joining us today guys and he's feeling a little worse for where We saw your stories last night. It looked like you had a fucking good time You want to fuck load on the fire. It's fucking heaps and thousand dollars and you've come with a little vomit bucket And what your four beers deep now You haven't driven here Well, he's gonna draw you guys four And then I spilled two in my mouth on the way here. I hate him and I've got a transparent driver that doesn't wear clothes He's made of glass He's invisible and he will be driving you home. He's out there if you wave you never waves back Um, but yeah, Blake is a little hungover imagine if you took a family out on the way home And we're laughing about this but we leave it in He's trying to call me. I never pick up It comes out a week later after they've been cool. I just got heavy real quick Well, they are heavy beers Speaking of fucking um heavy How are the how are the weekends? Fucking worms tournament with brown. Hmm. We played some worms. Oh man a golf man. I got a birdie And what a shit really? Yep, I played golf and I did not get that. I played a couple of days ago Oh, really? Did you get a par at least and no, I Fucking shanked it in the first tee off and everyone was winding up watching. It's the best feeling How do you do this you go? Oh The back thing you go Oh, and then you tee off again and it happens again. Yeah, I did. Yeah, that's just um, yeah It turns into ambrose real quick. Yeah It's me every time. Yeah. No, we it was a good weekend and I saw rack-a-rack his film talk to me And it's like me. I haven't seen that. It's very really good Everyone talked to you does everyone anyone who doesn't know the racker boys osu youtubers They've made a fucking hangout movie because youtube kept started deleting their shit Even though it was just editing a special effects and shit doesn't sound like youtube Yeah, and then and now they went fuck it. Let's make a hollywood movie and it's fucking killing it and it's yeah Very good. Talk to me in cinemas guys. Look it up and fucking go over watch couldn't happen to two Better cunts go do it. Fucking do it. Do it. Yeah Speaking of fucking good cunts How fucking good are the misfit minds boys going? I was literally Just gonna say that I was talking to him last night. I facetime him Off the fucking tree But I was showing a mate that hasn't seen their shit and he was losing it like their fucking interviews They did the job interviews and that I hadn't seen that one and um, they had a shit on bunnings and that I was fucking in stitches and the window shopping one. They did recently Yeah Yeah, fuck me. They're gonna be they're gonna be big. I reckon what are they on youtube now? They're they're growing quick now 130 I'm gonna say 132. All right. Let's have a look. I reckon I reckon you've got more I reckon we've got oh 50 Michael. Yeah, push record. Yeah 134. No, you're right. Fuck it. I'd be press record. I walked in. I can't remember. Scared me for I don't remember Feel that you can't oh his hair came on let us have a squeeze. You can't you can't There's such a fire hazard in here. Hey, there's cords plugged into cords plugged into If a fire marshal comes in here, you guys fucking getting terminated. Hey, you know that that shit That just doesn't look right. I can't let's I don't think he meant to triple piggyback into fucking. I don't think it's tripling It's it's just a bit of a double But they say don't do that. There's oh really? Oh, yeah When there's god, I don't know about that. We take risks. That's why I always I always see you guys do it out there And I'm like nope. Nope. Nope. We do that when I move it all around That's a spider web in the middle and they all go other places. That's usually when it's not Oh, really? Yeah, I mean when it looks like when it starts in the middle and spreads out like a virus That's not I didn't even knew that shit. I don't know. Yeah, you shouldn't do it But uh, but because we only do a two hour podcast I take the risk And then we leave it there though Leave it off though. Leave it. I don't know. Like overnight. Just so it keeps the room warm. Yeah, exactly Everything off. Wow. I'm learning. I'm actually So hey, you've been Blakey apart from the vicious hangover. What's what's been going on, mate? You've been You've been going around Australia a bit. We've seen where you where would you like it? I don't trust my stomach today Dude, I hope you vomit. Yeah me too. I want to touch it. We can all be good. Hey all I have to do is sniff that Yeah, I'll be like floppy Um, yeah, I've been uh going back and forth to w8 Oh, yeah, is it heavy heavy work there? You're working your arse off when you dance You just drive a truck and chill listen to podcasts. Yeah, they just pay you a lot of money just to drive up A three-story house. Yeah, so you're working in the mines now flying fly out Yeah, and so and and so you just drive the big machines. Yeah, I used to I Before I did content. I was like operated concrete boom pumps like truck driving and you know Supervised a high-rise and underground like tunnels and like shit. So I got the job out there But the reason why I wanted to do it is because it pays so well and you do two weeks And then two weeks off you've got all the time in the world to make content. It's like the perfect Yeah, it is instead of stressing about trying to make content all the time and Yeah, you just can do it organically. You've got a you've got a plan But it's kind of like you Matt except nowhere near as good nowhere near as much money You get paid nowhere near and you don't have two weeks off and two weeks Much much worse but kind of like Matt because he has a full-back. He has a full-time job But hand then has no time to make content. See if this was a normal job, there's no way I'll be driving the other end of Brizzy on a Monday With a spew bucket just come see it says a perfect. Do you find on the two weeks off that you are having just I got so much time No, well when people Uh work normally it's kind of hard to find a part a drinking partner or do anything but Yeah, I've just been I'm maturing I'm playing golf Yeah, we've yeah golf's actually I'm not I've just played golf and I'm drinking Better than finding activity to do while drinking while drinking exactly. Yeah, so but no, it's good man. You got two weeks off and I've got time to like Yeah, build some content on the side and I'm actually wanting to work on publishing a cookbook at the moment Yeah, that's fucking sick. You mentioned that before that's so good So what like just the you're just going to put the recipes of the meals that you make or I've chose a hundred meals But obviously they're not going in it But then I'm just going to soften through it and kind of have a because I mean hit up for a cookbook for ages and I was like what I Couldn't understand that people want a cookbook. It's like a digital world people want books So I'll give them books. Yeah, that's fucking but I'm going to make it for the you know I getting people in the kitchen kind of like simple I think I'll color coordinate it Like Medium red so you flip Yeah, and like easy can be quick as well because sometimes like I'm like what what can I cook in fucking 15 minutes and then there's the couple of little root pages where it's Little you know meals to get a chick over and Impressed them a bit getting roots with roots Cooking with roots. Yeah. Wow very good. Yeah. Yeah, that is a great idea. So you're still making You're still you're gonna start another Like content page. Yeah, probably down the track not straight away, but concentrating the book because the book is a bit of a mission Yeah, like it's not just like it's a bit hard on our thought but so that might take a while but Yeah, because I'm not doing uncut kitchen anymore. Yeah, so yeah, I haven't been doing that for a while now, but um Yeah, is it is it still running the uncut kitchen? Yeah, it's still running. They're still doing it. They're kind of I think they're kind of doing like Because when I was doing uncut kitchen I also started on the side doing food reviews and the food reviews got real well and a lot of restaurants were hitting me up to come Come to play to do a review, which is good. So I think they're kind of doing like a version of that themselves. I'm not really sure but um Yeah, um I was we I was pretty happy what we did with uncut kitchen like we I did 316 meals Did you find it was hard to keep coming up with meals 100%? Yeah, dude, three hundred and six I think I've only ever eaten like 10 meals. I just cycle through the well before I started there like I loved cooking that's why they gave me the opportunity to do it, but I kind of had to straight away go bam where film and cook And so I had to fast-track and learn but do you make your own recipes up in your head or you I make up recipes in my head But all's mainly I see a few ingredients a few recipes and I bond together but because cooking really it Or like cooking is just copying other people's shit like who the fuck invented bread. What's your favorite food? Top three meals burgers and mexican Sure. Yeah, fucking burgers man. I can't what about pizza pieces good too. So I like I Like making this piece at home. That's like super easy instead of making your own dough. I think you just use Lebanese bread Oh, yeah, it's kind of like crispy crunch. Mm. Yeah. Now. I'm hungry. Yeah, I haven't eaten today Didn't you guys do some cooking recently? Yeah. Yeah, we did. Um, we've done some a couple of cooking Shows for our website without fucking competition over here. Hey boys and boy be over and then shove it in your face It's going down. Is it what do we do? We did um, we did vomit cocktails It's like when I cooked piss for you guys I'm cooking piss battered fucking fish and we did it when you say you're cooking. I'm thinking use a cookie We made our own pizza, but we like I would eat them and then I'd be yeah like a They're all regurgitate. It was a regurgitated pizza. Do you guys have checkups like once a month or like Is it bad to have vomit food? Is it yours or it's mine? Oh, it's his vomit, but yeah, so you're not eating each other's vomit? No, you guys ate my you ate our boys piss. Yeah. Yeah. That's piss is piss isn't piss is quite sterile though Isn't it? No Okay, well, maybe we should go get checked in if you drink piss. It's not good for you Like if you're in a desert and you're like, oh, at least I got this you're doing desperate opposite It's worse for you and we did do another one. Yeah vomit cake. Well, yeah baked a cake That's good. Yeah, and it was like uh, it was like a it was like a mud cake, but was it nice No, it stayed so watery. It was it was a soup. It was a chocolate. Wait, what was What was like the the the pre food intake all the ingredients for a cake? Oh, I get it. So it has the raw ingredients And then skulls skulls a bit of milk. I was like thinking did you have Mexican like a Mexican cake or something like that got cake? No, no, it was all cake ingredients, but um, obviously it was very milky because the vomit was very runny Yes, like it was like we took it out of its Cake tin and it just yeah, you guys ever have I've always wondered this like any family phone calls like we Look No for website shit like, you know, our family knows not to even bother going there even our partners are just like Yeah, it's too much. Yeah, but like, you know parents or family members are like if they are oh, how's it how they go? I wouldn't ever tell my mom. No, but do they just go? Oh, yeah, they're making vomit cakes My granddad said last he'd heard he's the way he describes is I don't agree with everything they do But I'm glad he's happy That's all he's there. Well, that's that's a vomit cake. Yeah, that's exactly what a vomit cake should say on it I'm glad he's doing what makes him happy vomit cake Pays the bills. I don't agree with it. That's insane. I'm just making him happy. Yeah, that'd be good to film Like a vomit cake or whatever but they're hitting cameras here and you have friends over have a normal dinner And then oh here's the dessert and just see if they go And but you know when people lie that's my puke. Oh, that's so good. Like, oh, I don't know if I put enough like Yeah, serve vomit it up food and then show them this is one person like That's the secret because they do even the pizza like smell quite nice But then you bite into it and sour something wrong with it. Well, even when I cooked you guys out piss fish and I was like, that looks Yeah, the look the look of it is not too bad. Remember the popsicles the piss popsicles Yeah Oh, yeah, I think it spurts him dire ear on charmey's watching going what the fuck It's like I've got this nice trim bush and you're shitting on it like not in it on top of it Like the bush had a top hat of shit Yeah, I've forgotten about the poo. It's like a little it was like it looked like those little fake dummy You know those little where they go But it was like we're a weird skinny dog It's just shits wherever he stands as soon as he needs to shit. He'll just pull his pants down and shit Especially when we're How funny is it when you see a dog shit, right? And they they pause up they but then you Next time you see this lock eye contact with them. It's so awkward. They they get them. They get them. It is not for you Yeah And they start wrapping up quicker They start getting it out quicker like sorry I've ruined your day They'll go do it somewhere else. Yeah, bozzly gets really like you're sort of self-conscious. He goes He tries to find really like private areas It looks like a wiki keeper if you think about it if you think about it, so would I There's a bunch of people go I wonder if he's gonna snap it off or will he just keep pushing? Yeah, it is it's something you don't want out there. 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You're you look so good now that you use manscape She used to look like a real bag of shit You fucking never used to look like that No, no, I feel proud to say that you're my friend before I was ashamed and I'd hide you And there's so many people out there that I would just want to hide and I don't want to look at you I don't want to look at you and I don't I don't want you around when you look like shit Go to manscape.com Go to manscape.com And use our discount code fully actual 20 because your friends are sick of you looking like shit It's the Well said Michael and what what that means is it's also for women and he said that in the language of women Yeah Hairy women women if you're hairy and you got big Thick black fur protruding from your body go to manscape don't fuck around with that shit Also for women for you Go to manscape link in the description athletic greens. There's 75 vital nutrients and minerals in there that you aren't getting regularly Okay, it's a green powder. You put one dose in a cup of water in your skull Boom done. You're done for the day. Okay, you're fucking it's a subscription. They drop it at your front door It's 75 vital nutrient nutrients and minerals. That's arguably too many It's so they could take some out. They could like it's it's too much It's too healthy. The only issue with with ag1 is that it's too healthy Go to ag1.com slash fully actual and you will get a free travel pack So you never have to miss out on your daily ag1. It's it's fucking gmo free. It's vegan It's dairy free. So anyone out there with gut issues Go to ag1.com slash fully actual link in the description. Just click on it and go God, what are you waiting for be healthier? You look like shit manscaped ag1 go You could take ag1 and you'll live too long And of course our subscription website the university of michael where we post weekly Fucking insane bang of videos 30 to 40 minutes long. Holy shit. They're good We just posted a video recently does numbing cream work Where we hurt ourselves and then we put numbing cream on and then we hurt ourselves again to see if it really does work And let me tell you it's crazy shit, bitch It's fucking insane shit. There's a 21 day free trial. You can have a look at the fucking content If you're not fucking liking fucking leave fucking free of charge. You're fucking How many videos There's like 270 out there now and whoa, holy shit. It's crazy, man It's we can't post any of this to youtube because it's just so outside It's the realm. It is a bit too much if you aren't cool. You probably wouldn't like it Actually, even if you are cool, you probably won't like it It's a lot. So if if you know it into like hectic shit Probably don't watch it. But you know, we're building our little community there which we're all our Like-minded people are we talked to people in the facebook group and you get weekly fucking The premium members get weekly videos from us like a like a diary entry kind thing Then we got we can do q&a monthly q&a's in our group. It's wild bro. It's nice. It's very family Like it's we've gotten to know so many of you guys and it's it's beautiful. Anyway back to the convo with Blake Oh, well, let's fucking change gears. Um, so yeah, so you're gonna keep making your content and potential for a fucking cookbook Well, I yeah, I do want to do all that but also for the last like fuck most my life But in the last probably five six years, I've been riding skits and I've got about what is it? 280 voiceovers I want to do and about 360 Recreations What are what are like cartoons? No, no, no videos like skits and voiceovers of existing videos And so I've filed this up and then I've got like fucking Um, kind of like I don't know like a shitload. It's called for some reason it's called bondai's funny Um, and then they're just all kind of written skits. Yeah, I don't know why it's called bondai's funny. I think maybe I'll On a bender in bondai five years ago to skate comp and I've seen something funny And I'm gonna write that down and it was just started off as bondai's funny Okay, and then it's kind of every day kind of stuff kind of like I grew up in the Era of like Seinfeld and shit. Yeah where you know that every day kind of shit that you You think you think it's just funny but happens to everyone Yeah, I've been writing stuff on that. So I've been wanting to do it for a long time, but I've just Pushed aside for ages Yeah, so I've got a lot a lot of content Really? Yeah, like a shitload that I've been writing and putting together and Matching up with ideas for like yeah last five six years. Yeah. Yeah, man. I just have so that's like my little That's the backup thing that I always want to do it by never at the time But now this is this perfect opportunity. Where are you? Where are you living now? Um in palm beach. I've been there for a while. Yeah when I moved out of shammies I went to palm beach. It's just like in an apartment. No, no My partner's mom owns the joint real nice place Near the beach and she's traveling in Australia for Who is your missus or no? All right, babe have fun around Australia. I'll be here feeding the cat Fuck Mom and Appearance to travel. Yeah Your house sitting it How long you've been with you miss out for? I'm about two and a half years as long as I've had a cat Cat years that's like 10 years. Do you reckon you'll do the marriage and kids thing? Um, yeah at some point she's she she definitely wants to but I don't like thinking about anything like that until years a bit more stable Yeah, and I don't know we have a house and I don't know like I was waiting for this job and I'll have a little bit more like I know what the fuck's going on Yeah, yeah, yeah, she it was it was pretty hard for her back in the day when um Because I'll do shit with shaman the boys and they kind of wanted me to join I was like, no, no, it's easy for me to just walk and walk out Do you know what I mean? Like it wasn't And I wasn't with her then we started dating and then the shaman cut shit. She fucking yeah Well, you guys are around like topless cheese. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can see that that would be a bit awkward for her Yeah, yeah, it wasn't awkward for me. It was awkward for her But obviously she didn't have anything to worry about it's it's fucking. Yeah, you know, but yeah, it was hard for her and then We ended up traveling more and getting rid of that and then she's like, oh, fuck I want to travel You don't win but you know, so yeah, that was hard to start but yeah, it's all good now Yeah, there you go. She doesn't mind the two weeks the two weeks She she struggled to start but yeah, it's kind of good. She goes on her own world. I said, you'll love it Yeah, you'll hope you do whatever Fuck it. No cheat on me. Listen, this can't Talk to you. Get a couple of blogs though. I won't even know You can do whatever you want those two weeks. Just don't let them touch my transformer toys. Can't do them all Don't touch them or spot them in But it's working out all right fucking yeah, fuck yeah, dude But no, that's good. See how I go with fucking making a book and that maybe it'll be shit Maybe it won't have you got like a so it's just so has someone approached you to make the book or no No, I just when will like because you need to find like a publisher and yeah Yeah, so there was like, um, well, who knows these days. Hey, I does fucking everything besides sucking a dick like you can Hey, I've yeah, that's true Who knows I look into it, but um Yeah, I was getting hit up by a lot of people Oh, so people were coming to you and saying no no no a lot of people from watching the show All right, it was one of the main requests of things and I was like, I I don't have time for that. Am I gonna spew? Dude do it. Throbbing Matt's lap I'll fix that outfit Kind of looks like he's been vomiting it on already Fuck you look like acid I took like years ago It's a tab of acid. I go on a lick you and just go Do you do as many psychedelics? Oh man when I first moved to Goldie because I'm from Sunshine Coast Come here Andra Um, you know, we got on and done a lot of drugs. Whatever boy came here. I obviously because I was in the skate community and you know, all my mates are fucking pro skaters or just that skaters are hectic Bender and drinking and slam their bodies into the ground and when I met the boys that are my best mates here now Mills's house and jeffo that we just go to and then we just did drugs And we'd be doing it weekend every weekend and there was even this time when we took these um These pills look like we called them spewies or huggies because every time you're talking me spewed or you just end up hugging him, right? They're really strong. They're all that bad that we all got that really good That we all gonna shit boys don't Like it's the worst oh, wow And we didn't even realize that it's a band a gate or like a shit bed anyway, um, yeah, and so we'll do one shit like that and have an acid every weekend like 12 hour trips, you know like fuck off fucking bug Do I stink? But yeah, we'll do it every weekend man like Bendering every weekend like without doubt Like I had I've seen some fucking funny shit on that like I'd I'd go on a car and be like fuck me I'm fucking all I just sit you know when you want to get away from something Well, I'm so fucking high and then I'd see I remember seeing my mate come out of the house He thinks no one's around I'm in the car going. Oh, I hope he doesn't see me and then he came out And he answers his phone and talks and then I realized he wasn't ever on the phone He answered an air phone and then it was on a Did he know you were watching no no he didn't have a fucking so he thought he was on the phone Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then he struggled to get in the door for ages and I'll fucking losing it man Yeah, that is good. I was losing it and that was like everyone all these guys girlfriends went to splendor for the weekend And so jess is like, no chicks. Yeah, and we fucking banded then He spray painted on the wall. It's a rental boys. Oh And then we're in where we would drink and he's like we're in there on acid and shit And he's like fuck it's bright here like these fluorescent lights all you had to do is turn them off But instead he got because he's a concreter. He drilled into the slab Heaps a hole so he can put beach umbrellas Oh my god So then we all sat on the beach and well, it's gone. Oh fuck. That's way better, man. Oh my god. Hey, you're a genius Oh And then we're sitting there fucking like that so many shit went down that house like we're sitting there and the next minute We're like, what the fuck is this shit? And like the whole grand was like this even someone had gotten a drink at the top and just left it on And then the sink got clogged and they saw the whole house is flooding while we're just sitting there Whose house was it's just my mates rental. Yeah, but it was on jeffo, which is a six-pot But it was an old 19 Fucking 50s 60s like, you know, Queensland. Do you say jeffo? He's in Palm Beach, you know? Yeah That's from there. Well, there's a lot of bender houses there. Yeah old beach houses. Yeah So the one down the street that one's still gone today. It's been gone for 17 fucking years or something And takeover of party people it just never ends But um that that that house. Yeah, fuck man. Like and then we all got it Let's get a tattoo and we all share the same needle luckily everyone Yeah, and while we're doing it it's like instead we're scrubbing it with we're scrubbing it with there was like a bowl of like ink water and we'll use in the Scarra, you know that we did put this stuff on the end the scary things for washing up and that's how we're cleaning up Did you go first? Oh man, I can't remember man. Oh wow So eight of us got it and it was like I remember the next moment. What the fuck is this shit boy zone And will that cook like hashed like hashes? I don't know why Yeah, like Oh, wow The worst tattoos and then my other mates got all our names down there I'm so glad that our tattoo gun is no longer here. Yeah, so many times. Yeah, how's the tattoo gun? These are all benders. Yeah, you have a tattoo. I like the wings the wings on the wrist Yeah, my mate brand did that a while ago. That was a good bender That was that was something I wanted is that Norse Viking. It's like Uh, like Viking warriors that die on battle and they fight They're fucking when they die in the underworld, you know, I want that on my wrist See this here. This is my mate. Um Gibbers. This is a real-life person. Oh, wow. So he's a good artist I always thought that was Ned Kelly. No, no. So he drew this himself, but Gibbers is a good man of mine He'd always just go to parties with snake skin boots And an army helmet with the durries Melbrose in the strap in an army helmet and he just wears shit like that places like everywhere, man If you see someone like that, you want to go drink and so but when he's drunk, we called him Gerald And so yeah, and he's always having a durry and he's drinking. He's got a beard like down to here Do you meet him like that? No, I've known him since school like we kind of turned him. He was like a grade student Real funny guy and then now he's I think now he's a fucking I delivers Shit for toll But he's really smart. Now. This is for alcohol He's really intelligent and funny as fuck like really funny man. And so I was like, yeah, I'll get that tattooed on me Yeah, now, I remember last time you told us some fucking Chris and the stories I wanted to actually get I'll try and get it to you guys before I leave today the photo of the pool cue through the Yeah, yeah, it's oh, yeah. Oh and pat. Yeah the photo of you. I've got that on me. Yeah I remember he showed me that yeah, there was the pool cue that went through his yeah his whole body And then there was the He went through like the windscreen of a yeah pat He went through the windscreen ripped off his face off went to the hospital. He needed Skin graft But he was like nah and went back to the bender and bended for two more days That is so intense. His nose was hanging off and they he bandated it and just held it there. Oh my god And then we had to get surgery later Does he look he just leave it? No, he's got a lot of scars He's got a lot of scars, but he's like he's a and he parties like he skates man like he's fucking insane patties like he's He's had front covers of slam. He's like pro skater, but he just rose his body He's a nutto of a fight. He drinks hard and he yeah slams hard and he does shit like that. That's just like Why don't you just won't die? Yeah? There's some people just don't die Yeah Yeah, he half his face fallen off when he pushed the docked out of the way like no I'm going back to the back to the bento. Oh skin graft doesn't sound fun. I'm going Oh Oh Nick's like, what are you doing, man? You have it's your face. He's like, I'll fucking wash it out Nick in the car in the crash smoking everything he's sitting there pasta is a bad and Nick got his nose put it up And he goes and he goes he put it up and then went like that and he goes. Yeah, it's all good Oh Dude, I would be so scared. It's so yeah the windscreen had that big kind of like a bird hit it Oh, the car was written off and I ended up leaving there that fucking god, dude Oh the hospital and then fire and they're camping too. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have to get it from an island? Camping's even yeah camp is even worse kind of like it's not like you're like Oh, I'll fucking we'll wash it in the house. It's not sterile No, you just like back around the the the fire infection for sure just like ash and Imagine wake up the 10 the morning bro. Yeah, imagine like when you're hungover you've gone You've had your fun. You've gotten all the drugs done. Everyone's going home. Go to bed You hear people start to pack their tents up and then you get out. There's no mirror Bro, you can't fucking look at the mirror and you just start feeling like oh, that's right. That's right My head went through this man. Yeah Dude that is intense. One time that a seatbelt would probably help The worst come down ever Wait, and you wake up and your pillow is stuck to your foot. Oh, no, no impact. He wouldn't have fucking I don't know if he slept or whatever, but So we used to do a lot of skate trips uh for hoon skateboards and we'd go on the road for, you know weeks at time and Every time I would set up camp whatever I'll get up in the morning and start filming and Pat's there's a tent It's not set up, but he's in it And he's like hanging out, but he's you it's like it's just a sheet But he's lying in it Every time Every single time bro, like it's like fuck put no drunk So there's just a tent that's flat and like you could to goes And then he would fucking shred all day Throwing his body on the ground. So you were you were really are you really good skater? No, I like so a lot of my mates are really good skaters skating was like my whole life like Until I've gotten older my body's like we can't I can stop doing this shit. That's how my body feels that skeleton with a suit But yeah, all my mates have been really good pro skaters and that so When I started wrapping it up a bit skating like I had some sponsors at some stage of my life and then I started filming That's when I got into filming and then I'd go on these trips. It was good for me I could drink and film and then you know watch my mates Well, so all your mates, how are they your mates from my high school or something? No, I've got well, I've got mates of real good skaters from high school on that But when I moved to Goldie like a lot of these mates that I came here and Matt It's like anything with sport was like skate community is pretty tight But then like these guys I'd look at mags front covers and shit and then I ended up being homies Can they is it can they make the first time we all met? I said come back to mine I had this mansion in Burley when I first lived here. I'm like come back to mine We'll fucking do some drugs right and they all rocked out. We don't acid jazz eight like a fucking a grasshopper and shit And then we all got tattoos And that's how we all met on acid and then we're friends ever seen My mate got my mate got fucking Wu Tang But Danny's whole leg and my my got nwa here and my like I was how I had this, you know, those shaky snowy things It was a snowman thing I was like hey Pat hold on to this and don't ever let it go And he held on to it all night to his fingers are bleeding and then he got a tattooed this big but upside down So he looks at it. Oh my and it's a snowman But then I got the nickname snowy Oh, it doesn't make sense and then just walking around with a leg hanging out his mouth of a grasshoppery eight But I got caught in his beard And like this is how we all and then it just rolled on that's the thing with drugs There is one thing there is there's nothing as bonding as having a Sash with some friends like it gets harder to bender now as you get on But like that's the one thing that that oh like even if you know, you know go completely sober That'll be the one thing that I can get so spasticated and it's just allowed like How far can you go? I'm trying to freak out your mate. We're playing table tennis with pots and pans, but with eggs instead of ping-pong It's fully didn't work That's shocking that didn't work didn't work out the onions worked, but like the fun Man, I remember I've been on benders and like I've been like just like made it out like all right I'm gonna force my dick into my ass and I'll get down and I'll different I'll get down and I'll force and everyone's just sitting on the couch So fucked after like two days and then I'm just trying to jam my dick into my ass Freak him out and everyone's just sort of A lot of people just yeah, yeah, it's hard to get as long as you're doing what makes you happy Have you had like yeah, what's like some of you like fucked up party tricks that you go to Or that you've seen apart from your mate going through a windscreen and the worst thing about benders though is You wake up the next day and you're like fuck. I remember laughing heaps and heaps, but you don't remember what So what I started doing I was sick of that. So I started fucking voice recording on my phone. I'll put on my pocket Oh Fuck is hilarious Yeah, well, I'll get to a point. I'll stop and then I'll put it back on I'm like and then I'll go through and I've still got him somewhere and all this fucking loser But I was always into filming too like I loved cameras as a kid. So still this day. I've got all this footage of benders And everyone's younger and long hair and no worries in the world Everyone's fat and got kids and it's way different But you can look back at the other time I was like You trust me. You'll love this and then now the worst thing is when you're the cameraman. It's all everyone else, but you You're not in him. You're like, look at this. You're like Two-sided cameras And this is before iPhones and all that bullshit too. So it's all I got shit. Yeah, I got shit on tape. I got shit on card. Yeah disposable all Yeah, fuck have you got any I'm the worst person for you to have a birthday Because like I could no I could put something up. Oh, right. Yeah, happy birthday I've got all the people are very nice to me on Like my birthday Bang Well, last time I got austy I had this footage of austy because he lost a bet with me that we picked up this cow from this fucking farm Brought back to shammy's and I was like we made this like the odds of when it shits you catch it and smear on your face And it was his idea and he lost and I've got the footage of him He catches the poo coming out of the cow. I was like, oh, it's poor. It's poor. He runs over to catch his hot shit And then I was like months late. I was like happy birthday You know, they don't like it when they don't repost it Yeah, yeah, yeah, just cow shit. He's so warm. Oh, yeah, I get me hot almost Like your big, big skin probably. Yeah grass and shit. Yeah, I've been there, but with my own shit Bosley's too Yeah Yeah, we've we've had what he's doing with that Well, we're gonna that because we got the segment the map verse Michael So it's whoever wins and we'll get to keep it and we'll get to do with whatever they want to do with it And why would I think I have an idea with it? Man, we were pretty close at Marty's Bucks to Funneling that into my ass Austin opened it I've seen Blake's reaction to our bender stories We did rough shit Yeah, we're those are like six dudes in here like having like a conversation trying to give me a smuggle to just Chug a bit up his arm. You went for it My father in law was in the room as well. Oh, yeah How was it? How was it? Did you just get pretty ready? Oh, man? Bucks are my new favorite thing ever. It's like New favorite But like because we haven't had that many close mates and shit. Yeah. That's the bit that I get pissed off when People are getting married or we're just getting married. I'm like, that's so selfish to have like, where's the bender? About your friends get fucking married. They're like, he's still coming. No Wedding is the box. Can you bring a present? What the fuck? I'm the present I'm coming Fucking bring a present. There's so many Engaging present then wedding presents. I fucked out. I want the free drinks and I'm a number 100% never ends But yeah, Bucks is like a boy's trip on steroids like it has to be fun. You know, it's so good This is chaos constantly like we had all the games set up. That's why that car looks all fucked Yeah, that car wasn't meant to be destroyed, but it was started Through a rock and then as soon as like people see a bit of disrespect towards an object Kill it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so that's cool. Yeah, exactly. Austin got up there and took a shit on the bottom Yeah, that's as soon as he rocked up. Bang. It was there. I'm taking a shit on that car I filmed it. Yeah, that's a good birthday You do that one. I'll do the cow shit He's got some shit fetish behind Yeah, have you got any other banger Bender stories. So you got your mate just gone through the windscreen Your mate is at a pool cue ghost room. Is there anything in the top of your head? Man, there's like there would be fucking So many A bender stories book. Yeah, because that's what likes bender story book. Yeah, yeah, like because bender likes like him Blake it till you make it. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. No, there's there's huge man. Oh, fuck Yeah, I don't know what's your longest bender period like how long have you gone? Oh, so yeah, three and a half three and a half days That's not bad. Yeah without sleeping. Yeah Yeah, it's hard to get like hear voices and delirium happen depends on what stuff you take really Yeah, it's it's um, it can get dark after two but those days are gone Yeah, kind of Yeah, we're gonna be worried next. I've got a normal job I can't believe you still go as hard as you like well I I I the problem is that I fucking get pissed off with Like how I feel this morning. It's bullshit. I never used to get hung over on nothing like that but if I Have one night is I'm like, uh, but if I bender I am so fucking good Like I know hangover. No come down. Like once you have six beers the next day. You're back to normal No, so this is what I'm trying to do today is get that see I'm starting to feel better already So the medicines won't I mean once you get to six after with them with the with the bender I can come home. It's fucking birds chirping or it's in the arbor I won't even go straight to bed. I'll watch tv stay up the next day. I'll get up at eight like nothing happen Yeah, like nothing better for you to go through to the after the next day. It's not better for the missile But it's better for me. Yeah, okay, that's pretty much why mine have cut back down like because yeah, the missile hates it but like I still I was still out of the crew that my crew that's bended heaps I'm still one of the last ones to kind of do it because they've they've had kids Now all that kind of shit and to me it's like one of the saddest things It is like fuck man That's why you got to cherish things like boys trips or bucks like those 100 times where you do have it You got to make the most of it because like every time would go like before I worked with charming and that like We'd do trips and we had to Sydney and I was always just staying up by myself and everyone was in bed and I'll just bend her to They're like, what are you? Are you still up? What are you doing by yourself? I'm like drinking like and just off my head and they're like fuck Blake just keeps going like And I'll just do it by myself because I'm like, well, I've got this fuck and I don't want to waste the money Yeah, yeah, like when people get drugs or drinks you're like you're kind of wasting it Micah would get angry at us if we go to bed. I remember like Michael would wake us and lie to us say that there's something crazy going on outside to try and get us up and then we You know get all fucking fuck off He'd convince us to get up saying like there's something crazy going on outside And then we walked outside and there was no one there. Well, since you're up, you may as well have a beer Remember in Europe because I went to Europe They're in Europe a week before me because I had to stay for work or some shit. Anyway, I get to Europe I'm so excited. I'm flying to London. I'm expecting them to like be congratulating me as I come down the escalator At the airport. No one's there and I'm ready to bend. They're all like five. I've already had a few on the plane I'm so excited. It's two months of just traveling Europe doing drugs. So I'm so excited Get to the hostel. They're all like this just hung over a shit Half of them have like food poisoning. So they've just been shitting shitting shitting I'm so sad because I need drinking buddies 7 a.m And then I was like when you got someone else. Yeah, exactly. So I'm so sad and then I'm like, all right How am I gonna what do I have to do? What can inspire you out of bed? Like what if I eat my own shit? Will you guys get up and party with me and Henry pops his head up? Yes That's where you went. Yeah. Yeah, dude. That's the thing to get you up We posted that on the website that footage and it's like all this old footage of us like in Europe Hot shit in his hand and he has a bite out of it. Yeah. Yeah, and then What the fuck and then I had drinking buddies for the next Like do you even bother brushing your teeth anymore? I had to brush my teeth after that. That was rough I didn't actually swallow it. I just sort of chewed it and then yeah I just shit like even just like plain food to you. It tastes real good He's so fussy. He's such a fussy. Really? You're fussy. Yeah What? Yeah, dude He's fussy. Next minute in a Spuggers View Kagel edition. I feel like I enjoy it It's like I just had to do that to get drinking buddies. But you can't be fussy after that. You can't Yeah, no, I was like, I was thinking more salt If your carrots were touching your peas or mashed potato, I wouldn't eat it. It has to be said like that level fussy It's bad. But with gross shit, fine. Your food has like gender equality in some way. Yeah, exactly Split them up. But um, yeah, no, that was like I'm surprised. She always wanted so much better with a drinking buddy 100% like if you have to you go by yourself because you know that they'll wake up the next day and then you just I felt the thing that I've wanted to do and I wish I did it the whole time And I don't think it's like how high you are or the moment I think it's when your brain gets to like the most hide state and it's running on fumes I think like shit's so funny. Yeah, you're right But like like I'd love in that moment to record or write it down because I reckon there's so much gold there I reckon there's so you see life in a different form and there's so much good ideas and shit That's just never done. You're like, how the fuck do I think of that? And you're like, I'll remember that tomorrow And then they're like, what the fuck was it again? It's a lot of time. It's just simple shit too that makes it so funny 100% weird noises and actions and movements. Yeah Well just storytelling what we're trying to do now and try and remember Yeah, oh man, I've seen Marty sometimes like he's just so bent on mdma that his back just concaves up and he It looks like he's like possessed like he's just like something out of the exorcist He's just concaving and making the strangest sounds I've ever heard of human being made And he just keeps doing it and you just watch in wonder like how is that real? Starts floating above the bed Dude, so much mdma you see like electricity electricity It's literally linking the fingers. I was like, dude, the power points are like He's 11,000 I just had a like a knife in the toaster turns into vegeta. He's got super sad on mdma I can't believe we haven't ever had a bend. Yeah, I know It's fucking insane. We need to lock one of them in and we will beat up to our problem We'll have a journal Have a camera and we'll beat that problem because I fucking hate that that happened recently We had a really funny fucking night and I was like, man, I remember laughing so much. That was your bucks Was it? Yeah, we're on the roof. I feel like even more recent than that Yeah, I'm fucking this up. It's got my pocket. I was kind of like, okay, I forgot that This come out. Oh, yeah, I forgot. It kind of looks like that's just what you're waiting for So I have that's that's that's not funny Oh, wow, there's list list So what is that just I like video kind of like What I started doing like a drunk or something. I'll be like, I'm not gonna fucking I started doing it Oh, when I see something. Yeah, I would write it But a lot of it is yeah when I'm wasted when someone You know when you have just a good yarn with someone and you're like, yeah, I agree too And you're like, how fucked is that? You're like, that's a topic that can be a skit Yeah, easily Because when you're trying to make skits, you're like, uh, fuck Yeah, you need to start somewhere and I reckon when you're having and conversing with someone you get to the highest peak with a mate Especially over drinks or drugs or bendering or whatever and you're like, I remember that So yeah, I started writing shit down, but there's been a lot where I have missed. I'm like, fuck Because you tell yourself. Oh, definitely remember that Just gets all like you write down something short 20 minutes joke Yeah, exactly. It's that you haven't detailed it enough Like when you're younger and you'd save a chick's number it was random one surface Why don't you just put their name in a timestamp or something? Yeah Taxi line hot Six out of ten Brunette looks like she puts yeah Just when you're young right you had these random fucking hot ass You're ringing some gloves like Who the fuck is this? I drove you home last night. Why you want a hot ass? We had sex Even like even like just being uber driver for a night man and get those stories Yeah And just not recall on the consent for just like ideas Like yeah, you're a loser and the best was the arguments the couples That was always good Oh man, it was so good it was like there was some shit ones too like at about midnight when you'd be picking people up to Drop them out. It was like a group of like Because no one respected. Oh, did you actually do it? I didn't see that all three of us I was actually the highest rated uber driver in Queensland. Thank you. Wait, did you saw it? Oh, yeah, we know this is before we'll make a money from video We're just trying to get by We ubered all weekend just to make enough money so we can make videos during the week We do like 16 hour shifts now. He's ruined cars I don't even need the cars Oh, yeah, so I was like I fucking had to eat before I came because I like I don't want to get the order something I was like, oh, actually, they're probably blacklisted Can you guys order food here anymore? Yeah, it's it's been fine. Yeah, it's been fun. Hasn't that shit was funny I like to have the doors open That was the best part. Yeah, that's good bfx can't that was Yeah, that way someone called the cops on that. Yeah, I love that the cops came and he went with it with the cops Yeah, very good. The cops really what are they like in the end? They were chill. Yeah, we did it to him And they were just like, uh, okay, what the fuck and fucked up. You funny if you got tased it's straight It's just a prank but he still stays in character It's a prank like we don't like pranks Like yeah, okay, fuck He died doing what he loved Granddad's at least he was happy Yeah, fuck yeah good times. Yeah, we were fully uber uber drivers and Yeah, pieces of shit really for a while. You know what a piece not anymore If I if they paid well, I'd still do it. No, not uber drive, but we were really slumming. Oh, yeah Like man, but that's that's that's that's cool. I like the people that like you don't get the backstory of Because people were saying oh you make content. It's just easy. It's fucking not No, we're making videos for four years without anything you're reinventing yourself all the time You're trying to get some attention and then we started doing facebook lives and hurting each other and that started going well So we're just saying yeah bruises and scratches. Oh, yeah, that's good. So you still uber drive on the weekend And I honestly I enjoyed it so I would if it paid well, but like is it that bad? You end up getting 10 bucks an hour. Now one of the cops don't want to hear us talk. Hey, nah, man. Yeah. Yeah, fuck. I Hey, it's been busy I don't get paid enough to give a fuck about answering your questions It used to be good because then there was never regulated and then soon as they brought in all the regulations Is that because the taxi drivers were Yeah Immigrate this country fair and square Taxi drivers have to pay 200 grand That's why they were so annoyed. That's their problem though. Like get a better career. That's not anyone else's problem That's your decision. Like if they if you in life land, you know, what a good a good idea I'll pay 200 grand and drive comes around. That's your problem. Like that's a bad investment That's a bad investment. Yeah It's um But man, yeah, I just oh, you just get baked and drive around best fucking job Do you know what you guys should do? You guys should this is something that I was gonna write down. I'll just remember Go to airports. You don't have to fly anywhere, but go to that queue and ask for the shortest ride And they get so pissed off. I've been here by three hours. It doesn't matter kind of your job is to Yeah in Perth because you get to terminal. There's another side of eternal. It's like a 10 minute drive Yeah, it's weird. It's like it must be from like And then there's fun this long line like no, no, I'm like is your job not the fucking idea that and he goes No, you can get the bus. I don't want a bus Get the fuck your taxi driver. No, but I'll be three hours. I go, yeah, and you're gonna fail now But it's a 10 minute drive. It'll be like 15 by and they go back in queue But just to film it and get those reactions is or just get in there and sit there It would be it would be upsetting like you go to the valley and you ask to go home Like where do you want to go? I'm like ashgrove doesn't matter. That's not quick. It's not it's too It's too close. I mean they're going to go next taxi, but it's but is it too close to walk? Like that's why They want their long trips. Yeah, you can long fuck out of here come I'm getting a different fucking job That's when you spin on their face. No Yeah, it's hectic like that. I like no and you're like, ah, fuck you got one job It's like going to fucking a restaurant ordering food like that No, you gotta order more. Yeah, what you better be getting dessert Yeah, but yeah, we should definitely make sure we have a bender before we completely quit the bendering Yeah, well once you get a fire marshal over here and clean up this shit We could probably fucking turn it make it a bit safer. We should have a big fucking When we get kicked out of here, we should have a big fuck off party just the day before How long you got? How long you got? We're in a rolling three monthly. So we don't know Could be that sounds annoying. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's scary. Okay guys. We're gonna put you on the rolling system And then like what do we do pretty much? Yeah, at any point you could roll on out of here Yeah, and like and you know, they're demolishing this house. So they like this we could not have Found a better place a better situation. No, you could close to the goalie. Definitely. Yeah, that's true Well, like, you know, they don't give you shit what we do here What's that brick for cut is that you like I was a chair. I tried to give brown, but he refused to have it Yeah, that's a chair. Yeah, we we get to chair every five episodes. It gets a brand new one. Don't you brown? Actually, he's probably due for just a big new to grain block. Yeah. Holy shit. It really is You thought about it like that usually they're really well thought out chairs Oh, my shit. It is too. A brick is just a big new to grains as tiny bricks Are you sick of eating normal cereal? I have a brick up the account The guy was like, oh, what could it be? What shape? I love lego. I love bricks Oh my god Yeah, well, wow, bricks are just maxi-neutral gains. Yeah, there you go. So you learned something today Write that down, man. Here's go All right, Blakey. Well fucking thanks heaps for coming on. Thank good I'm glad you guys got me into hot outfit and didn't turn a fan on in here Yeah, well, I think the fan I know how to make Blake feel better. It's hungover. Let's make him sweat Sweat would be fun. Sweat it earlier Do you always get people in this outfit make him sweat? No, no, I don't know. I was just thinking I was gonna put that in on Marty. Have you in this? No, he would be sweating Yeah, we all thanks for having us guys and it's always good to see you and sorry I couldn't spew But no, I was prepared. I had to have you my first guy to bring a bucket. Yeah Yeah, you're the first. We do have buckets around somewhere. There's one there China talk. Oh, there you go. Buckets Don't want to boast, but yeah, we do have buckets on around. Some quality conversation Bong break All right See you later, Blakey. Bong break everyone. We ride back with fucking mad verse Michael We're back all right And that verse Michael it's 11 to 13 before you start. Can I just say can I just say? Um Because I was so excited about Blake. I kind of forgot to yeah, so I'm so sorry, but there was it was really good I I actually didn't have anything to to give today But then I was at the post office And I didn't realize that the post office is quite the sticker salesman And I picked up something It's incredible. No one he didn't mention this when Blake was here because it's the We ever bashed or just like verbally assaulted at school just verbally. Oh, okay. Oh Someone threw a punch at you. Yeah. There's some punches thrown. I thought it was for different reasons, but you could be right Is he covered it? Anyway, there's all these different types of stickers that I found this construction one There's a whole bunch of construction ones and um, they had a concrete truck You know, there's really talks to me And um, so yeah, I've got a little concrete truck for my It's like he's a building and I'll put it right there for children a little concrete truck colors Yeah, that's it. Thank you man Anyway, that was my day Um And this is where matt and michael go head-to-head against each other and the winner at the end of the season Will win this bottle of mints. It's actual mints. It's actual mints. What what are you pointing at? I don't know. You're sitting up. Oh, yeah, I'm getting ready. This is fucking serious. You're in two behind 1311 to michael currently you've come back and um, yeah, so it's getting very close every week. They battle that out um, uh, so here we go now for today's competition We find out who Is fastest at building a pyramid with these cups So when I say go, I'll start the timer and you must build a pyramid using these cups Four at the base then three then two then one at the top if your pyramid falls you fucking start again. Can't Scissors paper rock. Fuck. Okay. Who do you want to go first matt? You want mark to go first? Are you sure? because like You've got to be good under pressure to go second I don't know. I just want to see what he does see if there's any techniques So I'll place the 10 red cups on the table and when I say go, that's when you begin. Okay All right Wait, wait, wait, wait. This is so fucking hectic Okay, wait, can I start with them like this? No has to be the other way around and you both must start with them like that Okay, holy shit. So wait, it is four at the bottom three two one Whoa, whoa, your time. Oh wait, wait I thought you said you would win this. Oh my god. I'm so scared. Your time starts in three two one go Oh my god stumble bumble stumble bumble stumble bumble baby. Oh Come on. Come on. Come have fun. Come have fun today He's going fast. Fuck Lin. Hurry up, Michael. Hurry up, Michael. Get there. Stop Oh 16.94 seconds Very good 16.94 All right, that's not bad. All right, we have to hand them to Matt the same way. Hang on Damn it. You saw my tactic God that was so pressure 16.94 was moments of fuck up. There was moments left. So he's left the door a jar for Matt to win here. All right What was it 16? 16.94. Yeah, okay. Holy shit. Holy shit Oh my god, come in your time starts in three two one go Oh, no, there's no way Oh, there's one on that. You got a five second sound. Oh, yes. He fucked up. Yes. He's stuck together Come on, Matt. You still got time. You still got time, Matt. Quick, Matt. Quick, quick, quick, quick Oh, I knew it over. I knew it over. The pressure got to the brown stuck together. I don't think no, you couldn't see Your eyes don't work Anyway, I'm good. All right Michael wins this week. It's 14 to 11 three ahead. That's a lot. Yeah, that's nearly a month, but still Oh, wow. I got very catchable. Very very catchable. I think you jammed them together too hard. Yeah, I did jam a bit Oh, man, I'm fucking good. I'm a fucking god. Put your hands back on Matty. Let's go Man, I'm Egyptian. That's how good I am building periods. I am a sore loser, but I think that was a bit of cheating That oh my god. No, you you honestly thought you saw two there and you built that as the base Man, because I got that. I was struggling to pull them off. Yeah. Well, that's yeah, you sound like me Anyway, all right guys, let's move right along now And before we continue we we've we've seen the comments of everyone talking about A little upset about the shorter episodes obviously this episode's a bit longer because we had Blakey on but Where our goal is to get it to a to a to a nice hour 15 hour 20 ish Um a podcast. Okay. Um just Keeping at that length. I know it's a bit annoying that you know, we've kind of shaving like 20 to half an hour off But um one it's just less for us to have to do And two it's just it's just more appealing to um to to newer people Yeah, new listeners And if we want to build the podcast you're not going to sit down if you see your first ever podcast from us It's like two and a half hours long And like as much as we we you know, love our current community and we really do we love the fucking podcast and we'll never ever fucking stop Can't but you know, we do need it to um continue to grow So that's just what we've been told and we can't give too much away But we do have a method of making sure that our podcasts aren't age restricted anymore But we may need to miss one week of posting Okay, so just bear that in mind if you see us not post from and it will give you guys as much I'll probably start up soon. Yeah. Well, I'll probably next next week. So this will be yeah This will be there may be one week where we don't post anything and then the following week We'll be back for the rest of the season And um, but we'll we'll have a way to make sure that our videos aren't getting age restricted We're learning where we're we're on to something here. Okay, and it's exciting So fucking keep commenting keep liking keep subscribing five sorrow views on spotify We're gonna get the videos on spotify as soon as it's available through the uploading Platform that we use so our our videos will also be on spotify. It's just things are going better now. All right Fuck yeah, can't fucking can't can't Yep age restricted for swearing Hot sick mess hot hot sick magma You have all the questions and we have all the answers and we've got lots of dances for you Oh, fuck that is good It looks good on the recording too. Thank you. All right. Anyway, right moving right along To matt's favorite segment It's matt's tinder adventures everybody hit it matt I've got something to tell you guys play the fucking thing first Oh Play it hit it matt t-i-n-d-o we have matt's tinder Matthew brown has lost control now these women will lose their souls What's happened, man? No, I cut that kind of because I just realized I can't say it. I'll tell you guys I'll fuck you. You've got to say it now. Shut up. Shut up. I can't I just realized I was like, oh, fuck I probably can't say it Damn it. I should have made him play that because then he wouldn't have had time to think Yeah, I just realized I've got Demons in the closet. All right, this is a segment where matt In his early 40s, he can't find a partner. He's struggling. He's so alone. We've all got you know, we're getting married We've got a beautiful life partners We go and hang out with all of our friends have really lifelong partners and we all love each other and it's really beautiful And matt is the only man alone single following us around. It's so sad and lonely He's got no one in life. You kind of sound like you're being mean terrible Just it's just excruciating to see so we've taken over his tinder And it's so all the pictures are of matt brown. It's matt brown on tinder But we do the talking to these girls and we try and talk exactly how matt would talk Oh, you don't pretty close. Yeah. Yeah um All right India So let's see What conversations matt has come up with this week. All right, so this girl starts the conversation. So which is pretty cool She's king Hi matt. How are you? I'm grinding my teeth right now sitting in traffic. My back molars have cracked from it. What kind of furniture you got? I've never been asked my sort of furniture. I have lol Oh true. Haha. I've got mostly fantastic furniture. They've got some really good shit. I collect couches Sounds weird, but I've got some unique ones that are worth probably like six hundred dollars Oh, that's different. My couch is from Fantastic furniture. Oh no way. Oh, that's so sick. What's the fucking color of it? What are the chances we both have fantastic furniture couches? I've got the creamy brown four cedar with an inbuilt recliner and cup holder It's so fucking comfy, but not my all-time favorite Lord mine is a three cedar nothing fancy and it is light gray. Oh, yeah, I think I know the one great choice Ikea has this fucking hectic new design for their couch and I have to get it It's got like a curved seat and like 13 cup holders want to come couch shopping with me sometime Well, sure that would be a fun day out. Oh, bitch Oh, yeah, and then we can assemble it and then test it out Let's fill those cup holders with your breast milk and urine. Oh Yeah, because that sounds like a fun thing to do stitch stakes together and make a blanket with them. I'm circling a homeless man Not sure what you mean by stitch stakes together lol and why are you circling a homeless man? You know those little sizzle stakes buy like 100 to 150 of them and stitch them together to one blanket size steak Then sleep with it tonight. I'm circling him because I think he's asleep. No one can see me doing it Uh, yeah, I'll pass on the meat blanket. Thanks fair enough each to their own if that's what you like doing Well, you would never try it. I did it in high school not the whole night But a few hours I'd do it again if you're a bit open-minded about it I left the homeless man alone. I'm making eye contact with strangers and then holding it until they get uncomfortable and look away Such pussies knock me out someone Oh No, I don't think I'd like to sleep under meat. Sorry. That's just me It's more you wrap the meat around you. Honestly, it's extremely comfortable cold at first But once your body warms the meat, it's so nice Grab someone on the shoulder and when they turn to look at you go cross-eyed and show them all of your teeth See now, I think you're making this all up. That's honestly so unfair. I'm trying my best here Trying to have a conversation trying to be open and honest No one ever takes me seriously. It's so hard. I crumble to my knees and look up to the ceiling I feel tears gently roll down my face and I realize that I'm surrounded by humans, but I'm still all alone Sorry, you feel that way. It's just hard to be serious about wrapping oneself in some meat Maybe I'm not that open-minded about that sort of stuff. I've just never heard of it before One thing you need to know about me is that I am unique I'm a strange bitch and really fucking fatigued all the time But underneath all that I'm a soft gentleman If meat blankets aren't your thing, then we can skip that as part of our date She hasn't replied How does she I don't get why they keep running back Like fuck you. That's a great idea though. I mean imagine a meat blanket No, that would feel like smelly Yeah, maybe but like Super fresh. I would hate it because it would be so gross. The texture of it would be very quite comfortable What is swarming her fucking replying to that? That's so yeah, anyway, you know, it's like each to their own No That's not normal behavior. Yeah, she should have abused you for that. I get more angry that they they continue I genuinely feel a bit bad because they're like They love matt. All right. This girl starts a conversation again. Very exciting Why hello there, mr. Brown. How are you? Well, mr. Brown, I like that. I'm bleeding. Can you guess where I'm bleeding from? Your heart My joints and gums Bad inflammation put a seagull in a cold bag and toss it into a wall as hard as you can Why do you have inflammation? Are you assuming I could catch a seagull? One should never assume I don't drink water. I haven't had water since I was in high school. It's so fucking gross I can't stand it just soft drink and juice. I need some flavor and shit Well, you've never tried catching a seagull. Just put a chip in a rat trap. So easy I've caught like 18 seagulls a day before with that trick lifeguards were so angry. I had to leg it That's the weirdest shit anyone has ever said to me on me You've never heard of using rat traps to catch seagulls. It was like a full thing of my high school Never although I am from the northern territories and we so we don't have seagulls here lol Oh lol well that explains it ask anyone who grew up in brisbane about seagull sandwiches They'll know what you mean. Do you know anyone who grew up in brisbane? I have cousins who grew up here. So I'll ask one of them. Are you feeling better? Yeah, ask them now shoot them a text. I'm still bleeding from my gums whenever I eat anything It hurts when I eat salty foods like chips the salt gets driven into my split gums and stings My joints are swollen with toxins, but I'm in the bathtub massaging the acid out Oh I have already messaged my cousin, but he's on night shift. So I might not hear back from him for a while So she's texted her cousin About seagull sandwiches I'm so sorry you have to go through that Can a doctor give you anything to help or could the hospital put you on an IV drip? Yeah, seagull sandwiches were huge used to seal like 10 to 20 rat traps with chips on them every time I went to the beach My doctor keeps telling me to drink water and to eat healthier But I'm not going to give up plus. I kind of like the feeling of my mouth feeling with blood for my gums It's got a distinct rusty flavor. Have you ever had a blood kiss? It's a kiss, but your mouth and tongue is bloody That is disturbing But I see the humor in it I'll be honest that does not sound like something I would enjoy Perhaps your doctor knows what they're talking about. They might not either depends what sort of doctor you have Yeah, most of the time you could just let the seagulls go, but sometimes it kills them Doctors all get the same bullshit education. They don't know shit. The research I've done suggests it's all mental I will overcome my swollen joints and bloody gums and be stronger for the test Then I'll fill my find my wife and fill her to the brim with my potent seed Well, I'm glad you have your master plan all sorted. You could be a part of my plan You could be my filled up wife Sadly your potent seed would be wasted on me. I've had my children and there isn't any more in my future Potent seed is never wasted. I've got a whole bottle full of it. Kling to me. I'm aware of more than you think Oh Oh my god, what a fucking sentence cling to me. I'm aware of more than you think imagine hearing that Yeah, wow. All right. This is a good one. Shit. This girl starts I think I read the beginning of this one last week. She starts with nice beard. Can I sit on it? Oh, yeah, and Matt replies. Yep. Can you come to mine when? When are you free? Where do you live? Lock your valley you wait Are you an actual influencer you popped up on my tiktok would still smash you even though you have weird baby dolls glued to your bed Can I suggest we use my bed though? Yeah, my stupid fucking mate are my boss at work saw the video and I don't have a meeting about it I ended up punching a hole in the wall and storming out Still work part-time though. Have you ever had gun sex? Oh my god gun like is in G gun. Yeah, G you were very good gun sex Oh, holy shit. You haven't heard of gun sex. It's we have sex and there's a loaded gun in the bed with you The safety is on though. So there's no real chance of getting hurt. Just adds a layer of risk Plus guns are kind of sexy. Would you consider it? If I got my hands on a gun, I wouldn't be fucking with it. I'd be shooting certain people Well, I don't know if we can use it for that. It's my dad. So I just borrow it. So technically I'm not meant to have it But gun sex is so hot even just seeing the gun in bed with us will be hot as fuck Look, that's not the weirdest footage I've come across on here Okay, fuck you. I'll pack my gun back then. I've been so keen to try this. No one has been keen They keep saying that a complete stranger bringing a loaded gun to the house is weird. So ridiculous I've only done solo gun sex where I kind of put the tip tip up me while I'm flogging myself silly What's the weirdest fetish you've heard about on here? I never said I was keen. I know you're taking the piss. Seriously Yeah, I'm not taking the piss. It's an actual thing I know it's a bit weird though. So I don't expect anyone to do it I think I'll just have to save it for when I get a committed partner Do you still want to fuck hard though? Or are you joking about that too? Oh, I thought I was just gonna sit on your face if I let you fuck me. Do I then get to fuck you? I'll let you pick which strap on you want me to use So I cleared my calendar for the weekend because I wanted to watch you doing the solo gun sex If you don't want to do it in person, can you at least send me a video? Oh, so you're a bit curious about the gun sex Actually though, not keen to let you fuck me though. I had some shit with my uncles that made me hate anything Up my ass and she hasn't replied to them Oh man, that's fucking great. All right, this one's pretty good Matt, how are you? I'm siphoning fuel from my neighbor's ride on lawnmower Been doing it for like six months. He has no idea every couple of weeks I see him shaking his head and getting frustrated. I'm a bit cheeky if you couldn't tell What's your favorite football team? Oh my fucking god, that's funny as fuck. Oh the storm Yeah, I popped my head out the window when I hear him trying to turn the mower on and watch him lose his temper Once I took a massive shit and pegged it at his bedroom window while he was at work He didn't even notice for a few days. It was fully caked on hard Oh nice. I'm a massive rabbit-o's fan. My rabbits would fucking destroy your storm any day I kick field goals in my spare time Oh, she just stopped replying That's very good I hope I don't see her out So again, she starts the conversation Hi Matt, how's your weekend going? I'm making sheep sounds on the train right now So many weird looks it's hilarious on my way to south bank to watch barbie. What are you having for dinner? I have no idea yet. You should have like ten apples. Ha ha ha imagine if you did that just out Just put like eight in a microwave for five minutes. Have you seen barbie at a watt? This is my second time watching it alone Oh, she didn't write back. She didn't write back to that Catching the train to it taking sheep sounds Oh, there must be a weird moment Oh, man, so weird that they don't write back She might Oh, anyway, that's um, that's that's Matt's tinder's adventures this week and um, yeah Hopefully by the end of the season you'll have a wife I'm gonna put it out there. I don't think I'm gonna have a wife Well, at least you get plenty of roots from it. Can't I think I'm gonna get Anyone coming to the podcast finale? Make sure you have a fuck of Matt brown Someone have a fucking someone fuck Matt. Someone have a fuck of him. He needs to get a fucking fucking fuck Okay, even guys. Yeah guys and girls and anything No, have a fuck of him because the guys will be king. I put fuck of him Have a fuck of the brand on the fucking podcast Yeah, fuck it. I'll do it Your time is there for us to waste picking up your phone was your first mistake It's prank call time All right, and for this week's prank call, we've got a fucking crazy idea. We've done it before we're gonna try it again Where daren is gonna call a sex shop And say that a butt plug that he's bought from them has disappeared up his miso Come on. Thank you for calling Speaking of free, how can I help you? How are you? More names daren or come in. I think early last week And or coming with my partner and we bought a one of your butt plugs And we've just been using it and I don't know what's like going on But it's like it's kind of gone in so I can't see the end of it anymore and she's kind of panicking and freaking out like Do you's do you know what to do in this scenario? Look, I don't know how to get it out That's the situation where you'd have to go to the hospital. No, I see that's like so fucking embarrassing, but like I can't go to the hospital because then like What if her parents and shit find out and like then they you know ask why'd you go to hospital and shit? Don't you have something surely if you sell butt plugs like there's got to be something you guys sell to help Get it out of something like or don't you know you need to go to the hospital. There's nothing No, no, no, that's so embarrassing. Do you understand if I go to the hospital with her and I'm like, oh, yeah Unfortunately once we've sold the item it's in your hands. How you use it is unfortunately your responsibility It went up so easy like I didn't even put it in I barely just rested me me fucking thumb on it And she's fucking There's nothing that we can do unfortunately You'll have to go to the hospital. No, no, there's nothing else that I can help you out with So you don't have anything that can lock scooping and lock pair of tongs or something that pulls out butt plugs and that No, wait does has anyone called in wrought and had this problem before and what's happened with them like Like if we just leave it for like a day, is there a good chance she could lock pull it out and that You need to go to the hospital. Unfortunately. There's nothing else that I can help you out of the hospital You don't understand like her parents already think I'm fucking something twisted can't lock I'm sorry. I can't do anything else You sold me this product. You sold us this product. You can't just do this like you've got to have warnings and that Oh, I'm calling her back. Yeah, I could feel the hang up It can't be done that to people hanging up on them like you sold product He's got a lock. You must be liable rot because that's like going up and she's like full panicking than that now Like I could see you. I was good. So you I was good. So you and especially after the treatment lock. How's your boss like I'm calling in calling about a product You sold me If I told your boss like oh, yeah, I'll call and she's fucking hang up on me lock I need you to understand like he's this fucking stressful lock. I'm fucking I mean, what do you want me to give you me mobile number? So that I can pass it along to my boss so that you can give him your complaint What what where's your boss like you pass my number on to him like it's going to take days I need help right now. Do you understand like more go through the hospital there? Unfortunately, that's all that we can do lining bed freaking out. Listen, I need you to calm down Otherwise, I'm not going to be able to help you. I'm coming in if you are going to speak to me like this Okay, look, look, I'm this is a stressful situation. We can but listen I understand that it's stressful, but if you're going to yell at me, there's not a lot that I can do to help you I'll just I need you to speak slow. Please. All right. All right. Look. I'll calm down. All right This situation that you've explained to me, if it is genuine, you have to go to the hospital There's nothing that I can actually do to help you. Let's work as a team. If you'd like to leave a complaint I'm happy to grab your data so that I can pass it along. All right, but that is the extent of what I can do What if like, okay, I'm throwing this out there. Okay another Option here. What if we come in you's got lube, right? He's got fucking shit loads of lube there Well, he's done got no lube here. Right. We come in we lube her up. Okay I dive in with like pair of tongs or something and we see if we can grab the end of it because like it just slipped up Like surely it can't be too far up. So I'll come in and and and we'll get some lube and like You know, I'll need someone to part her cheeks and that and then I'll dive in and grab it out There is nothing else that I can do to help you at this moment Why can't we try that? Why can't we at least just please try that and then if that doesn't work on my mom's laugh I will call the ambulance. We'll go straight to hospital. But I'll just let you know that I am Hang up again because unfortunately this isn't in a public conversation to be having Does it do you need medical help? Does it do you know, okay, just another few questions about the product then, okay If you don't willing to help just please Does it dissolve? Is it like made to look dissolve if it is look does it if it does disappear look Will it dissolve after a few days? You know like how shit like just like look goes away I'm going to need you to speak just a little bit clearer, please. Okay Do you know look if the butt plug can dissolve once it's upper? No, it cannot so that that's done now look that's that's there. That's set. That's not coming out I have already explained to you that the situation is not something that we are able to handle Unfortunately, if it has happened you will need to take her to the hospital That is not something that I can handle I'm happy to take your details and pass it along if you do have a complaint about it But I unfortunately am not able to help with that in particular Now look I respect that look I respect you It's kind of standing granny and making sure look that I get the message like I'm I'm like coming on strongly It's like it's stressful. It must be here as well. Look to hear what's going on Is I look I respect you as a human being and lock, you know Am I able to take your details to pass them on? We're both Australian and like I love this country and like I respect the system that he's got in place But can I just as a customer have a suggestion for you for one of your products Maybe put a fucking warning label on it to says don't put it up the ass so fucking far because the fucking thing will Disappear That's not right right it's gone and she's fucking freaking out so Oh my god You should have done that was Fuck I knew as soon as the the anger of otherwise she was gone I knew once Angry DARREN came it was like she's out Um, man, man, she didn't fuck around. She's she doesn't she must have heard that before she will not take Responsibility for those but yeah, holy shit. It is dangerous. I wonder if that's ever actually happened to anyone 100% Really? Yeah, are they like quite wide at the end? What happened with dildos more because it doesn't bother like I met a doctor once and they were telling us stories of emergency where people would come in With like sex toys stuck in them and like one guy was like fucking his chicken She was shoving the the vibrator up him And and because the ass is like a suction and so eventually just went and just sucked it So the time he got there it was like coming up in his abdomen. Oh still going what it travels further Yeah, it pushed up and and that's still vibrating. Yeah, the guy was like man those He the joke to me was like, oh man those energizer batteries just keep on going and the thing was like And the dude was super embarrassed like he was like distraught and so like to make him feel better They they bagged it up and sent it off to for to the scientist to say are we pulled something out of someone? We don't know what it is So don't make him giggle a bit And they all got drunk It's got like a thing in the end, right? So it doesn't go all the way in no there because you get ones that are too small I think and they just go See you push too hard. They'll go in. Well, maybe it's an experiment. There you go everyone be careful out there when using bar plugs Please use with caution. Okay, if you do it because they're not going to help you get a hospital trip If you push it too far I feel like you've done it. No, I've just been have you used a bus like yes with one girl I have yeah, what you you put in your own ass. No, she did it for me She's like, hey, would you try this and I was like, oh no, she goes I mean if I put it in I was like, yeah, right and they're like your ass not me I she I thought I thought she was saying that but she said um, but she's like, oh, no, I'm just gonna put it in Me. I was like, okay. She goes apparently it's better sex. I was like, okay And yeah, it made the whole vagina go like like super tight because there was like something stuck in her bum Did you kiss her? Yeah What's her name? I can't say Josie she knows who she is she watches probably all right everyone. I don't think she does episode 25 done and dusted. We're gonna put the uh Podcast live show tickets on sale soon. Aren't we? So keep an ear out for that next week. It may miss a week, but just stay tight. We will be back It's just for the betterment. So we don't have age restriction. This is how we'll put out our things Yeah, we'll let everyone know plenty of time. All right. We fucking love you You can't don't forget to like comment subscribe fofstar review on spotify I hope you like the bloody episode and we'll see you guys in two weeks time. We're the We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best We're the best We're the best We're the best We're just not very giggly today. Yeah, I need weed I don't know. I giggled pretty hard Blake's fucking man. I want to bend it. We laughed heaps. What are you guys talking about? When? When did we laugh? We laughed all through Blake's thing. We laughed during the the tinder readouts I was giggling during the prank call Sex remember the word sex. What a laugh. Yeah, yeah, that's right. We did say sex too Anyway, see you later guys