 That's the theme from the Sears Radio Theater. Tonight's story is a comedy with Andy Griffith as your host. Here's a preview. It's no joke. This is the government in exile of Royal Grandomere. Three native Grandomirski whose mission in life is to restore the King of Grandomere to the throne of his fathers. What king? Me. Oh, for Pete's sake. This is funny, Alfred. Indeed it is not, Miss Gordon. The Sears Radio Theater will begin after this message from your local station. This is Andy Griffith. La Cuiere Graysouze is a restaurant whose only distinction is that James Beard wants through a brick through its window. The service can be timed by using the calendar opening in your watch. And what the menu lacks in variety, it makes up an awful mess. But it's a private place to talk and some people like it for just that reason. Like these two. Alfred and Jill. I haven't seen the waiter in almost an hour. Isn't that nice? You'll have to give them a really big tip. You do that. Alfred, do you think this relationship has a future? Oh, sure. A long, happy one. Don't we already measure time and anniversaries? Three months today since you came to sell me insurance. Two months and 29 days since our first date? Seven weeks since the big ski weekend. Six weeks since you made dinner for the first time? And four weeks since we knew we were in love for sure. And an hour since we saw the waiter. That brings us back to the present. And the question of our future. Jill. Am I rushing you? No, it's just... We haven't met each other's families yet. I just got my mother. What have you got? Mother and father. Can I meet them this weekend? They live in Paris. Paris, friends? Of course, I'm neat. Will they like me? Oh, they love you. That's no problem. Well, then... But there is a problem and I haven't worked out how to... I have to explain something to you. Explain a way. I can't right now. I have an appointment in 15 minutes. Flag the waiter, will you love? This should cover his really big tip, I think. Okay. Call me tonight? Sure thing. You can explain your problem then. Right. I'll explain my problem then. See you. And that's just the beginning of our story. Radio Theatre. A new adventure in radio listening. Five nights of exceptional entertainment every week. Brought to you in Elliott Lewis' production of The Sears Radio Theatre. Our story, The Crown Jewels of Grand O'Mere by Gene O'Brien. Our stars, Stephen Markle and Joan McCall. The Sears Radio Theatre is brought to you by Sears Robuck & Company. Sears. Where America shops for value. The three men who live with you, and who sleep in the two sofa beds and the rollaway cot that make the living room so crowded. Especially when you add a dinette table and four chairs. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present General Boris Brontoslav. He's the soldier, the middle-aged man at the head of the table. Next to him is Baron Vladimir Artigorsk, an elegant, even courtly man in his search. The little round man is Minibon, whose first name nobody ever bothered to learn. Now on the wall behind Brontoslav's head hangs a map of Eastern Europe with a flag pin stuck in it, and an area outlined in red. Over the map hangs a flag displaying the royal arms of Grand O'Mere on a green field. We will now find out why these men present a problem to Alfred Grant, that rising young insurance agent. The missing of the government in exile of Royal Grand O'Mere will come to order. We will rise and sing the national anthem. Oh, Grand O'Mere, oh, Grand O'Mere. This is the gentleman. Baron Artigorsk will leave the minutes of the last meeting. They are brief. General Brontoslav has not heard from our men in Grand O'Mere. Baron Artigorsk has not been able to interest the CIA in financing the king's return, and Minibon hasn't done anything about the coronation. I have two. I send the robes to the cleaners. They'll be back next week. That's all. I have the polish for the crown jewels, but I haven't had time to do them up. I've got a lot to do around here, and nobody else turns a hand. We have our own work, Minibon. You know, counter-revolutions don't make themselves. Just because I was a valet, and Artigorsk was the king's equity, he seems he doesn't have to pick up after himself, and you leave the basin full of whiskers, General. All right, all right. We try to be leader. The king makes his own bed. The king hangs up his clothes. The king leaves the bedroom fit for humans to use. You've made your point, Minibon. Father, the king will be here soon. Perhaps we should adjourn the meeting so Minibon can set the table. The Artigorsk can set the table. I have to make the salad. All right. What are we having for dinner? Lamb stew. Okay. Have you noticed the price of beef lately? The king hates lamb stew. But it is Mother's own recipe. That's why he hates it. Just a minute, Your Majesty. He's infinite, Your Majesty. Alfred the 13th. Grandomir. Welcome, Sire. Your Majesty's briefcase, please. Your Majesty looks tired a bit. You have a hard day. Ah, about average. You mean a buy? Brontoslav, about this business of announcing me every time I come home, it's a little flurry. Pardon me, don't you think? This isn't the Royal Palace in Grandomir. It is etiquette, Your Majesty. We must preserve the little distances alive. That means you're not going to change? No, Sire. Then let's have dinner. I'm starved. Artigorsk is Majesty's chef. Your Majesty's plate, please. Lamb stew again. Whatever happened to beef? My bulget beef is out of the question, Sire. Even fish is a luxury. It is Queen Beatrice's own recipe. God bless Queen Beatrice. Thank you, gentlemen. She was an ornament to the throne and a menace in the kitchen. Sire, she was the finest cook in Grandomir. She taught me everything I know. My point, exactly. Sire, we had a meeting before you came home. Another meeting? Brontoslav, when are you going to face facts? The Grandomirsky don't care who rules. Then just so the stamp money comes in and the goats flourish. But, Sire... They stood in the square and heard Petrogny claim my father's overthrow without a sound for her against. In two years, they've had time to think, Kierman. Who tells you what they think? Mormon in Grandomir. He thinks they have a very good chance. I doubt that. Look, Harte Gorsk went to the CIA. And what happened? Nothing. If we had oil, it might be different. Who's going to come to the rescue of commemorative stamps? My advice to you three is to get jobs and forget the counter-revolution. I'm a gentleman, Sire. I wasn't raised to work with my hand and I wasn't raised to sell insurance. May I get a charge out of being independent and having a good credit rating? And I look forward to having my own agency someday. That's all the kingdom I need. Here's their coffee, Minneby. I'll drink with your majesty. Credit rating, Sire? You mean you could borrow? It wouldn't take much. We could pay it back after the first issue of stamps after we finally... Out of the question, public expenses count for every penny of the stamp income. Now, let's drop the subject, Minneby. I have a business appointment tonight and I'll be late. Don't forget to leave the chain off the door. Sire, think of your people who grown under the yoke of the oppressor. Peasants always sound like that. So would you if you spent all your time with goats. Listen to me, but on post-life, a counter-revolution is a waste of time. You didn't hear a word I said, did you? Oh, yeah, every word, Sire. Hell and damnation. It's like talking to a wall. All right, then. It's your time and if you want to waste it, go ahead. You made him mad. He said all right, didn't he? He really wants to be king. He just doesn't want to say so. He used to try on the crown when he was a little boy. It came down over his ear. The crown, the jewels, they are a collateral. We're going to borrow on the crown jewel, really, by start polishing. I'll write to our man in Grandemire. The People's Republic of Grandemire meets in the throne room of the former royal palace whose paneled walls are hung with portraits of his rulers and their families. Leonid Petrugny, formerly the royal librarian and now leader of the revolution, hopes someone will suggest that his picture should hang there. But so far, his hints have fallen on deaf ears. Right now, he and Ivan Zerogorsk, who was a postal employee before the revolution, are waiting for the third member of the central committee to join him. She's always late. Let me see the Russian letter again. Why? You already know what's in it. They don't hold out any hope? No. How about the Chinese letter? Same thing. All in Chinese. Could it run later? I've made a mistake. It was just one word long. No. The Russians at least wrote the whole sentence. They meant no, just the same. Am I late? I just talked by the post office to pick up the mail. Was there anything for me? No. But I got a letter from Alfred. Did you know the press is broken down again? I know. The first day of the new issue was only a month off. I know that, too. I also know there is no money to pay for repairs. Oh, well, they'll trust us. They always have. Ivan Zerogorsk wants his money up front this time. That's ridiculous. Can you explain to him that if we don't print stamps, we can't make money? Several times. What about the money from the royal stamp album? Gone. Gone? For what, for Pete's sake? Revolutionary activities. Such as? Two cases of vodka to Cobra Piraschik so he could corrupt the army. So they'd be too drunk to resist us. Ha, probably drunk most of it himself. I made that Molotov cocktail with my own hands and told him to throw it at the palace. Instead he hit the post office, the fool. Well, he paid for it, drowning in the fountain like that princess. Comrade, I'm not a princess anymore. Not that we aren't glad to have you with us, comrade princess, but why did you join the revolution? To raise the status of women in Grandemire. Couldn't you have done that as a princess? My mother wouldn't let me. She said, princesses don't do that. Honestly, any time I wanted to do anything, it was princesses don't do that. She did everything else. So I stole the royal stamp album. Look comrade, sorry you didn't get along with your mother, but you weren't the only one. You didn't have to put off the revolution till she went to Paris to see how your father was doing. Ha, what he was doing, you mean? I'll bet she was mad when she found out. She was madder when I phoned your father while telling me he'd been dethroned. She nearly broke my eardrum. Who'd have thought I clean with no words like that? She feels better now that she's got a job. A job? Toil what? In some kind of boutique, daddy says. Let's get back to the question of paying for the press repair. Don't look at me. I stole the stamp album. It's time Zerogorov had an idea. Uh-huh. Ah, that portrait of you on the wall over there, comrade princess, are those pearls real? Of course they are. Well, why can't we sell them? Because mother took them to Paris with her to be restrained. Ah, and the crown jewels are in America with Prince Alfred. That's my fault. I should have caught that little sneak minibuy before he got to them. He said he needed a clean hunkerchief and like a fool. I'll let him go upstairs. But the jewels in the world must have made quite a bundle. Didn't you notice? Mm-hmm. He said they had a cult. Wonderful. Which would be easiest to get to? The crown jewels or the pearls? America is farther away. Ah, Paris means tangling with Queen Beatrice, right? America would be best. Could we find your brother in America, comrade? Easily. I'll have his home address and he sent me his business card. Imagine Alfred selling insurance. Ah, it's only a blind. He's just buying his time. He keeps the jewels in a bank, I suppose. Apparently not. You write that minibuy is polishing the jewels. That means he's got them right there. Poor boy. He probably likes to look at them while he dreams of being a king. Planning a counter-evolution more likely. Remember, he's got Brontoslav with him and that man hates me. He'd like nothing better. Well, we'd better get busy then. If we can't get the press running, Brontoslav could walk all over us. I shudder to think of it. It'll be nice to see Alfred again even if we're going to steal from him. When do we start? Comrade, we can't all go. But why not me? I financed this revolution and Zellgors gets to go to America. I've always wanted to see Disneyland. Look, you'll be chairman pro tem while we're gone. You'll like that, won't you? Hmm. Chairman Grandemire does have a nice ring. I said chairman pro tem. And you can raise the status of women while we're gone. That's right, I can. How long will it take you? Well, a week is all the time we have. Ten days at the outside. Well, okay then. Have a nice trip and tell Alfred I said hello. Since the last season, Patrogny and Zellgors have made it to America and are staking out Alfred's apartment. Brontoslav and company have tried several times to raise money on the crown jewels and Alfred having chickened out on six attempts to tell Jill what we have already learned about his background is about to blow to seventh. They're in Jill's apartment this time. There's more pie if you like it. No thanks. I made it myself from scratch. Best I ever tasted. My mother's pastry, on the other hand, made a good weapon. So much for small dogs. What's on your mind, Alfred? You start sentences and leave them dangling and you look as if they just set the date to hang you. Sorry. If I won't see the bulldogs, what's bothering you? Spit it out. Jill, you don't know the really important thing about me. I know you're young and healthy and solvent and tongue-tied. Believe me, Jill. I've tried to tell people about my problem and it makes them laugh. I couldn't bear it if you did. On my honor, Alfred, I won't laugh. When I first came to this country... What do you mean? Are you an American? No. When I first came... You've got a perfectly ordinary accent. Are you Canadian? No. I had an American governess. Mother didn't like the English, but she wanted me to know the language. Governance. Are your parents wealthy? No, but they felt they owed it to their position. This is where people begin to laugh. And what for heaven's sake? At me, when I tell them that my father was a king until the revolution. That's not funny, Alfred. You'd be surprised at the people who think it is. What I think is that you don't want to marry me and this cock and bull story is your way of getting out of it. All right then. Maybe it's show and tell time. We'll go to my place and test if seeing is really believing. Get your coat. It's still raining. On this cold rainy evening, Patrugny and Zaragorsk have been watching Alfred flat for two hours. The wind blows the rain into the doorway where they've been huddled. They're a little short with each other. If they come, Zaragorsk, all three of them and the jewels, I recognize the case. You keep saying that. I know it's the jewelry case. Why do they always take them with them when they go out? How should I know? It would be so much easier if we could sneak in and take the case when they were away. They don't suppose they're on to us. Maybe. I guess we'll just have to go in there with them, I guess. Look, why don't we have something to eat first? Cold feet. Of course not, but I feel better with something in my stomach. Brace yourself, Jill. I'm braced. But this better be good, friend. Open up in there. The king... Just a minute, Your Majesty. Ready, sir? His infinite majesty Alfred the 13th. Grandomir, welcome, Your Majesty. Your court, sir. Am I a lady? Jill, my problem. From left to right, General Brontoslav, Baron Artigorsk, and Minibai. This is Miss Gordon, gentlemen. Miss Gordon. A pleasure, Miss Gordon. Yes, indeed, His Majesty's never brought the lady home before. Alfred, is this some kind of a joke? Please sit down, Jill, and don't talk. Minibai wine for us all. Gentlemen, I brought Miss Gordon here tonight, especially to meet you. I think that if you seize you before her, my story will seem less fantastic. How? I see three actors you've apparently hired to play an elaborate, practical joke. It's no joke. This is the government in exile of Royal Grandomir. Three native Grandomirski, whose mission in life is to restore the King of Grandomir to the throne of his father's. What's new? Me. Oh, for Pete's sake. This isn't funny, Alfred. Indeed it is not, Miss Gordon. His Majesty became King when his father abdicated. Ridiculous. First of all, there's no such place as Grandomir. Oh, Jester, here's Miss Gordon. Right on the map behind you, you see the plate? If you look just to the right of it, you can see Grandomir outlined in red. Oh, there? Oh, yes, I see it now. So? My father was Alfred the 12th Grandomir until the revolution. It's a people's republic now. I didn't read about any revolution in the papers. And I wasn't on TV. Nobody got shot. Oh. The Queen had locked up all damn ammunition before she left. What? To join my father in Paris. I had just driven her down the road so that she could catch the bus to Belgrade. Queen's take buses? Grandomir isn't big enough for an airport. Anyway, I just got back and was driving around the palace to put the car away when Brontoslav came running out to say that Petrovny, he was the royal librarian, was leading a revolution, and we must flee. Just like that. Well, I'd blame myself if I had to remember to ask the Queen for the key to the ammunition closet. Just out of curiosity. Why would she lock it up? Her Majesty hates loud noises. Of course, you'd be there not expecting trouble, but it wasn't your fault, Brontoslav, who expects librarians to turn revolutionary. I didn't believe him, Jill, until I saw the post office and flames, and Artagorsk and Minnabye came running toward us. So we all got into the car and fled. When we got to the sea coast, we sold the car and bought four berths on a freighter and came here. And that's all. And you really expect me to believe this garbage? It's all through, Miss Gordon. And when we mount our counter-revolution. Again with the counter-revolution, Brontoslav, I thought I told you. You said if we wanted to waste our time, sire, we don't think it's a way. I'll talk to you later, Brontoslav. And now having made enough of a fool of myself for one evening, I'll take Miss Gordon home. Minnabye, will you bring our coats? Yes, Your Majesty. Oh, you don't give up, do you? What do you mean? Alfred, my father was a bookkeeper to the day he died. My mother loved him just the way he was. He didn't have to pretend. What happened? Say, girl, I've told you the truth. We all have. Minnabye, where are those coats? I'm coming, sire. I can't persuade Miss Gordon. See, Miss Gordon, here are the coronation robes. They just came back from the cleaners. Isn't it well with the lovely and the earmen? You can see where his mother should want the tail that is part of coronation. Teething, you know. And we have the crown jewel right here. Look, let me get them out. Here's the king's crown. And the greens. It would look lovely on you, Miss Gordon. And the orders of St. Alfred of Uganda with his and hers. And the orb, and finally the septal. Why did not think of that? They look real. They are real, even if those doves they shown them to can't tell. You've been showing them to doves, but on top of that, why? To raise money for the counter-revolution, sire. We tried the bank first, but they said they don't lend money under revolutions. And then two long companies and finally a pawn shop. They tried to tell us the jewels weren't real. How such incompetence. Stay in business. They're not incompetence. The jewels are false. False, sire? You mean they're not real? Yes, I mean they're not real. I just couldn't find the words to break it to you. He has trouble that way. Gentlemen, the kings of Grand Amir have been replacing the jewels in the regalia with paste for a long time now, one jewel at a time. But sire, why? To combat inflation. To build a road. A new ram for the goat herd every now and then. But mostly, I'm afraid, to finance their mistresses. Oh, so put out. I risked my life for them. It was still very brave, Minneby, and if I were king, I'd make you a Baron at the very least. May I say something? Another joke, I suppose. No. I want to say I'm sorry I was so rude. But how often does a middle-class American girl open a door and find herself in rear tenure? You're starting up again. No, I'm not. I'm embarrassed. I'm trying to use a light touch. I accept your apology. And the rest of you, I made cheap shots and I owe it to my upbringing. You think nothing of it, Miss Gordon. Green gill. It doesn't have the real Grand Amir sound. It will when we get used to it. Have you forgotten the counter-revolution is dead? So am I. It was my whole life. Mine too? If I seem to repeat myself, I'm sorry. But... General, you can get a job. You too, Baron. I only know how to be a net putty. There isn't much call over it. I think it's very nice to open a restaurant. Well, everybody please shut up. The king is speaking. Oh, that's the way I like to hear him talk. Go, go, go. The man has to do around here to make himself heard. Now, I've forgotten what I was going to say. Well, while you think about it, shall I tell you what convinced me that you were telling the truth? They helped. On the other hand, there was a detail about the queen taking the bus. I was sure you were putting me on there. So what did change your mind? Well, there was a chewed ermine tail on the coronation rope. It was such a hungry detail. And I've been watching you all. The general is really heartbroken. I digress too, and many by. His every word and gesture shows that he knows you well and is devoted to you. Oh, I spend my life in his emergency service, Miss Gordon. Ever since he was a little prince. That's what I was going to say. Now, what the devil? That's Petrogny's wife. Oh, no, you don't! I'll get you some hosting. Get into the bedroom. Quick, Miss Gordon, take the jewels. The bedroom's over there. Come on, and say now first. I'll buy some. The living room is a sham. Victor's and Banquish sit. Breathing heavily on what shares are left unbroken. Here comes Jill from the kitchen with a basin full of wet towels. Andy grew up up again, and here's the concluding act of the crown jewels of grandeur. That's your area. I need a drink. Uniby, is there any wine left? Yes, Tire, but all the glasses got broken in the battle. I'll drink out of the bottle. General, here's a cold towel for your eyes. I'm sorry that I couldn't find any eyes. Thank you, thank you. And a towel for you, Baron, and one for Petrogny. You're Petrogny, aren't you? Yes, ma'am. The wife's a cut, and I'll see if there's a Band-Aid anywhere. Alfred, where's the bathroom? Over there. Is there a gore still out? Is that his name? Yes. Oh, good. He's coming round. Now, all we've got are cuts and bruises, and I can take care of them. I'm afraid the doctor will report this brawl to the police. Your Majesty, may I have a word with you, please? Any word, but I'm told, I'll have to accept it. Revolution. Then the battle began, Your Majesty. I heard you give the ancient battle cry, Gordon and Alfred for the Grand Amir, and I knew I'd been right all along. About what? About... Well, you know. But if I can't say the word, I'll have to. Alfred, the 13th Grand Amir, your kingdom is restored. You know Bronto's love, you have a problem. There's no connection between your ear and your brain. Am I interrupting something? I'd like to check if Majesty for Wounds suffered in the Great Battle. I'm all right. Miss Gordon, may I be the first to hail Queen Jill of Grand Amir? God bless their Majesty! What's this? Oh, I do congratulate your Majesty. She's such a nice young lady, but Bronto's law article, she won't be Queen until they're married. That's like hollering down a well. Are you going somewhere for me? Well, there's nothing for us to do here. Yes, there is. We have to talk. What about? The future. If Zeregorsk is well enough, that is. I think so, Your Majesty. In any case, it'll be a change for me to talk to people who listen without interrupting. Take in what they hear. Minnabye, are you sure there are no more glasses? Jelly glistens if your Majesty doesn't mind. No, they'll do fine. Get them and start pouring. Everybody else, sit down. I'll begin with a formal declaration to the effect that I now abdicate the throne of Grand Amir. Bronto's law? If you open your mouth... I won't. I won't, Your Majesty. I won't. Your trouble again, Bronto's law? I said I abdicate. I, Mr. Grant, now, Alfred to old friends like you and Dr. Gorsk and Minnabye, of course. Yes, Your Majesty. You're Alfred. That's better. Now, Patrogne, suppose you tell us what you had in mind when you came here this evening? Where does the matter of fact become to steal the crown jewels, Your Majesty? You can call me, Mr. Grant. This may disappoint you after your trouble, but the jewels are worthless, all paced. Worthless? Paced? I told the others just before you joined us. Anyway, why should you warrant them? Grand Amir has no source of income. What do you mean, no source of income? You should be issuing the new stamps in a few weeks. The price keeps breaking down. It hasn't been the same since Pirosh Kik set fire to the post office in the revolution. Now, Gryvogne says he won't really sit until he gets his money. Gryvogne's a thief, and you shouldn't let him get away with that. My father never did. I haven't. He's Majesty's force of character. But you have to have the stamps. You see, Jill, the economy of Grand Amir is based on commemorative stamps. Collectors all over the world buy them. I see. Patrogne, if I lend you the money for Gryvogne, can you make your deadline? How much do you need? 1,500 Alfreds. That's highway robbery. He never charged my father more than 750. Didn't you haggle with him? We haven't got 750. We did have, but they used it to pay our fare here. As a gamble, you know. Here's the wine time. You're supposed to call me Alfred. It makes me feel shy. Alfred, you'll get used to it. Now, do you think you can find my checkbook and Bronfoslav, will you look up the rate of exchange? That's kind of you. Are you sure you can spare it? If you can't, I'll help. I got paid today. Oh, I've got the figures here. It's $110. I can just make it. I hope that nobody ever finds out that the revolution was saved by the royals. They'd never leave it down. Here you are, Patrogne. Now, stand your ground with Gryvogne. Don't take any nonsense from him, man. Thank you, Mr. Grand. There. You're the worst. Here we go. As well. Your secret is safe with us. I don't know who you are, Miss, but you're offered to help us if the king, if Mr. Grand couldn't, was kind. Oh, that's right. This is Miss Gordon, my fiancee. Pleased to meet you. And thank you for taking care of the lump on my head. Just be sure to put some ice on it when you get home. I will. And thank you again. The minute I will show you out. The poor things. You know, they don't even look like revolutionaries. They don't need to. The thing they've got going for them is that the Grand Damirske really don't care about politics. Now, we could have stood them off, you know, if, if, can you be out of this had locked up domination. That is the last reference to the past that anyone will make. I'm going to buy. Is there anything to eat? Shall I warm up the stew? Absolutely not. Alfred. Uh, what he means many by is you shouldn't have to cook at this time of night. Oh, I know. There's a side chicken place on the corner. I'll treat. It's a general and a baron. Good night. You don't need me, Brontoslav. I'll stay here. Go with him, Artigost. While you're gone, I'll make coffee. I'll be in the kitchen if anybody needs me. Oh. Do you regret not being your queen? I'm sure. You know, it's a little shaky there when they hailed you as Queen Jill. For a minute, I thought it might be fun to be king with you beside me. I fell in love with an insurance man. That'll be enough to go on with. You promised. I swear. All right. Hand me that little red-letter book there and we'll swear together. Now, you hold one end and I'll hold the other, okay? Repeat after me. I, Alfred Grant, and... I, Jill Gordon. Do solemnly swear that we will never regret the throne of Grandemire. Never? Regret the throne of Grandemire. But we'll live happily ever after as plain Mr. and Mrs. Grant. Plain Mr. and Mrs. Grant. Okay. Alfred, this is your rape book. You made me swear on your rape book. Why not? It's the insurance man's Bible. Are we married now? Just engaged for now. But when we get our chicks out of the nest... Chicks? Brontoslav et al. Unless you want them to live with us. I'll have one thing's off. I'll take them to the kitchen while you set the table out to cross. Is there more coffee, Minneby? Right away, your... Alfred. Oh, this registered letter came for you last week. I don't know how I forgot to give it to you. Well, it's from Grandemire. It's Thalia's handwriting. Who's Thalia? My sister. She stayed behind to join the revolution. What an interesting family I'm joining. Read it to us, Alfred. The princess was always interested in politics. I heard that she financed that evolution by stealing the Royal Stemp album. Will I get a chance to meet her? I hope so. This is what she says. Dearest Alfred, it's so nice to know that you're doing well in America. Since you left Grandemire in such a hurry, I took the liberty of signing your name to a formal declaration of abdication. Now you can't be king even after Daddy dies. She's got her nerve. It gets better. She says, I must warn you that Petrogny and Zerogorsk are on their way to America to steal the crown jewels. But you mustn't let them have them. Send them straight to me. What does she want with them? You'll find out in a minute. Back to the letter. I haven't had any luck liberating the women of Grandemire, so the other morning I reinstituted the monarchy. What? That's what she says. Reinstituted the monarchy, and I plan to be crowned just as soon as you can get the jewels and robes to me. No question about it. I have to meet her. Next paragraph. Do you remember Count Milo Miloslav? I've decided to make him my consort. We'll be married immediately after my coronation so that the same celebration will do for both. She's so practical. Just like her about that. Let me finish, please. By the way, if you do see Petrogny, tell him that I stood up to Gravogny, and the press is running right now. Would you like some first-day covers with my picture on them to remember me by? Your affectionate sister, Thalia the First Grandemire. What a homecoming for Petrogny and Zirogorsk! I pity them all over again. I never thought I'd see the day I sympathize with Petrogny. You'll be much happier in the library. I shouldn't have left it in the first place. And, by the way, if Thalia's smart, she'll have an army again. That's right. And if she has an army, she will need a general. And an equity. And a... and a valet. Milo Miloslav will. No, I never liked him. Manyby, please don't go. Alfred needs a valet. Me? Why? Well, maybe I should say you need this, Valet. Manyby's royalty is to you personally. And if we both work, and I think it's a good idea, we'll need somebody to keep the health. And do the cooking. Not the cooking. Well, we'll work it out. Sure we will. I'll write to Thalia and congratulate her. While I'm at it, I'll recommend a general and an equity. Now, if you will fill your cups, we'll drink our coffee standing. God save Queen Thalia, the first grandeur. God save her. May her reign belong. And send Alfred for the grandeur. God and send Alfred for the grandeur. Oh, grandeur. Grand Amir. Be of her heel and hair fair and cloth. For your money back. Sears. Where America shops for value. The crown jewels of grandeur was written by Jean O'Brien. Produced and directed by Fletcher Markle. Your host was Andy Griffith. Our stars were Stephen Markle and Joan McCall. Featured in the cast were Hans Conreed, Shepard Menken, Don Diamond, Sydney Swire, Marvin Miller, and Jack Krushen. The music for Sears Radio Theatre was composed and conducted by Nelson Riddle. This is Art Gilmore speaking. The Elliott Lewis production of Sears Radio Theatre is a presentation of CDI. 24 hours a day of great music and more news, features, sports from FM 103. KMOX FM, thank you. KMOX FM. And now KMOX FM News with Donna Michaels. Good evening, White House News Secretary Jody Powell says President Carter received offers of resignation today from his entire cabinet and senior White House staff members. A White House official who asked not to be identified was asked if Carter had solicited the resignation and dodging the question, replied, they were offered. Asked why at least a couple dozen top people in government would be moved simultaneously to offer to quit without prodding. The official responded, we felt it to be an appropriate step to take at this time. The White House Assassinations Committee has released the final report on its probe into the depths of President Kennedy and civil rights leader Martin Luther King. The report concludes that both probably were victims of murder conspiracies. An Associated Press NBC News poll shows the public agrees with President Carter that the nation faces a crisis of confidence and 64% of the nearly 800 Americans pulled say the president's leadership has been weak. Diplomatic sources say newly appointed Nicaragua President Francisco Urquujo plans to remain in the post until 1981 and government troops are reported engaged in battles with the Sandinista Rebels in several Nicaraguan towns. Federal Reserve Board Chairman G. William Miller says the coming recession is likely to be worse than the Carter administration has predicted. He says unemployment could reach 8.25% next year compared to the administration's forecast of 6.9%. Locally, federal officials say four men have been arrested and indicted on charges of conspiring to smuggle 200 pounds of cocaine into the United States. The suspects are identified as James Herman of Bridgeston, James Sieber and Brian Brinker of Overland and Robert Beckman of New Florence. Federal officials say the four were arrested yesterday on charges returned last week by a grand jury in Macon, Georgia. They're being held on $1 million bond each. St. Louis County Supervisor Jean McNairia is recommending a $50,000 study for planned expansion of the government center in Clayton. The study would focus on the needs of the county administrative offices and court and police facilities through 1980. Money for the study would come from the county's emergency fund. Still no settlements in the nationwide strike at the Westinghouse Corporation. Two plants in the St. Louis area are affected by the walkout of electrical workers. The main barrier to settlement is wages and fringe benefits. However, the spokesman says all local issues have been resolved. Pickets are up at both the South Banda vendor and Craig Road plants. Illinois Gasoline Dealers Association members may ignore a federal order to post profit margins publicly. The head of the IGDA, Robert Jacobs, says the members are happy to receive added profits, but appalled at having to post those profits for the public to see. Jacobs says the dealers are due for an increase in profit margins since the last was in 1973 following the Arab oil embargo. Another lawsuit has resulted from last January's toxic chemical spill in Sturgeon, Missouri. A Sturgeon couple alleging vapors from this bill cost the death of their unborn child filed suit today for more than $43 million. The action is the sixth lawsuit over this bill. Last January, a tank car of freight derailed, billing the cost of chemical along the tracks, forcing evacuation of the town's 1000 residents and St. Louis area weather mostly clear and cooler tonight to lower 60 degrees. For tomorrow, sunny and pleasant, the high in the low 80s. Then tomorrow night, the low around 60, and for Thursday, sunny and the high once again in the 80s. That's KMOXFM news. I'm Donna Michaels.