 For the safety of your smile use pepsidon twice a day see your dentist twice a year Lever Brothers Company presents the pepsidon show my friend Irma created by Cy Howard and Starring Marie Wilson as Irma with Joan Banks as Jane Friendship, friendship, just a perfect planship by another friendship to then forgot Everyone has their own circle of friends me Jane Stacey. I'm a little different. I have a friend who goes around in circles Now, please don't get me wrong. My roommate Irma Peterson is a wonderful person and I think the world of it It's just that sometimes she does things that make me want to pop my top For instance the other night I was reading the National Geographic magazine and I said Irma listen to this a pearl diver has to hold his breath for two minutes just to get one little pearl and Irma said oh, that's nothing. I know a girl had to keep her mouth shut for six weeks to get a necklace You see what I mean well, maybe today will be different. I've promised Irma I'd meet her for lunch And right now I'm on my way to her office Miss Peterson Miss Peterson. Yes, mr. Clyde. Would you mind stepping in here for a moment with your pencil and notebook? Thank you, miss Peterson take a letter to the Flamingo Hotel Las Vegas. All right, mr. Clyde You have a cold no and for heaven's sake. What are you whispering about? Well? I understand you get more money when you're a confidential secretary. Oh Incidentally miss Peterson the hotel informs me that they sent me a night letter. Do you know anything about it? Oh, yes, I received it this morning. Why didn't you give it to me? Well, it's a night letter. So I thought I'd wait until it gets dark That me aren't you mr. Clyde angry? How could you tell? Matterisms like chewing your pipe stamps into spinners and pulling your hair out. I'm just getting ready for Halloween And miss Peterson while I'm telling you exactly what I think of you I wanted you to know one thing why do you insist on starting all of my business correspondence with dear Al? Well, I can't help it. You see Al's my boyfriend and I keep thinking of him And I guess I just do it without knowing it very touching miss Peterson But while you're in this office, I insist you forget your boyfriend. You understand But how can I when he's always on my mind? Isn't that a little unfair to your boyfriend keeping him in such a dark lonely place? I Look miss Peterson. I've stood enough of this everywhere. I turn I see that man's name Al and my letters Al in the files Al on my memo pad. It's got to stop. Don't ever mention that name around here again. All right, mr. Al Mr. Clyde Miss Peterson, will you please bring me a drink? Oh, certainly mr. Clyde Would you like a coke or would you rather have a glass of ginger ale ginger ale? Goodness sake what on earth Al's you I mean Al's you Now you got me doing. Oh, I'm sorry mr. Clyde. Oh, never mind never mind. Just bring me my glasses your glasses Yes, they must be around here someplace We'll come to think of it. I did see them But now I can't remember what I did with them for the love of miss Peterson I must have those glasses. I've got to be in court tomorrow. I can't read without them now Please try and think All right now. Let's see Well, maybe I put them in the filing cabinet under C C for glasses Even knowing your insane filing system that I cannot follow C for glasses. No C for Christopher. Miss Peterson. What are you blabbering about? Well, you have to get glasses at an optician and he must be a graduate from a college and Columbia is the closest one to here and it was named after Krillist to for Columbia So I'll look under C. Oh, no. No, no Well, it makes sense to me Look, please see who's in the outer office, will you? Yes, mr. Clyde Hello Jane you're just in time. Why honey is something wrong? Oh, mr. Clyde is furious I misplaced his glasses, but he's been in a nasty mood all morning Just because he dictated a letter to I J Fox and I mail it to the zoo Is that you miss Stacy? Yes, mr. Clyde will you step in here for a minute, please? Alone, excuse me, sweetie Please sit down miss Stacy. I'd like to talk to you. I yeah, I Understand Irma has misplaced your eyeglasses among other things In all my life. I have never come across anyone so scared of brain Well, maybe there are times when Irma isn't too well too well bright Bright miss Stacy Marie Antoinette was smarter than that girl is after they cut her head off And on top of that she can't forget her boyfriend. Oh, he's on her mind again again this morning She typed a letter for me to the White House. I'm glad I checked it It said to the president of the United States dear Al No, she was bad enough, but now with this fellow on her mind. She's impossible. I'm firing her firing her. Yes, miss Stacy I'm firing him. How would you like to come and work for me? Oh, well, thanks anyway, mr. Clyde But I wouldn't think of taking Irma's job. Why don't you give her another chance another chance, please mr. Clyde Irma means well and she tries so hard if she lost this job. It would crush her please Well, I suppose I'm a fool. All right, but remember if she doesn't find my glasses before I go into that courtroom tomorrow morning She's through. Oh, we'll find them mr. Clyde. Maybe they're somewhere in the apartment I'll take Irma home and we'll look for them fine fine say by the way miss Stacy Does Irma give you much trouble around the house? Oh, no Irma's perfectly normal You mean she doesn't do things that kind of startle you no Well, I was only wondering good day by the way miss Stacy. How did you get that lump on your head? Oh, well, we were doing some house cleaning and Irma found a horseshoe and she threw it over her left shoulder for good luck Well, we're home and we're still trying to find mr. Clyde glasses Irma is looking around frantically And I have never seen anyone go through such motions Right now. She's in the corner squatting up and down like a jack-in-the-box Irma for goodness sakes. Why do you keep bending down and jumping up like that? Well, I'm trying to look under the sofa, but the radio next door keys playing the star-spangled banner It's only me professor Kropatsky Hello Janie and Irma my two little birds one with the grace of a bubbling the other with the mind of a missing link You can have your little joke, but right now we're not in the mood for levity Irma lost her bosses glasses And if she doesn't find them she's going to lose her job, too. Oh, that's terrible. What are you going to do about it? We've gone over this room from top to bottom. Oh, that's wonderful. What do you mean having a room with a top and a bottom? Please professor Irma is in serious trouble. I understand Jenny. Maybe I can help I'm a darling to Concentrate first you must clear your mind of everything. All right. It's empty now good Now I will use what they call the association of ideas for instance when I say salt you say pepper when I say bread You say butter. I get it. All right. Now here we go black white dog cat wonderful now Glasses Al Irma Peterson stop go please Wait a minute why something wrong? Oh, please professor. You're just wasting time. Can't you see everything is Al Al Al? Irma, why don't you get him off your mind once and for all? Oh, I can't Jane to me Alice like something unwordly Yes, he seems a little weird to me, too Professor tell her she's completely wrong in her estimation of Al now Jenny darling This is not so easy to do. You see when a person is in love. They are blind Oh, I recall when I was courting my ex-wife Sonya to me. She looked like a little buttercup Not till after I married her did I find out that cup held 300 pounds of butter? So you see Irma you have to look twice But can't you understand? I love Al to me Al is the sun in the sky The stars and moon the Milky Way to me Al is the whole plantation planetarium sweetie You know what I mean if I could only be sure that oh someday he would ask me to pop the question After all, you know, I'm not getting any younger. I know I'm an adult because no matter how much Al makes me bend down When we go on a bus I have to pay full fare Hello, Jane professor. Hi chicken. What's the matter chicken? Al Irma lost mr. Clyde's glasses Refuse to get excited and if they're not found she loses her job loses a job My goodness, what are we all standing here for do something? Let's look. Oh, well, it's true You only love me because of my job with mr. Clyde Now hold it chicken. How can you think of such a thing? I'd love you no matter who you were working for Sides is it's only a matter of time when one of my deals goes through we won't need your job Not another one of your deals out What is it this time painting gravel black and selling it for coal No got too many friends that are forced to make that gravel, you know breaking big rocks into little one But this deal can't miss it's for married men with nagging wives Especially prepared lump of glue that looks and tastes like a lump of sugar He drops it in her coffee and picks up his morning paper while his loving wife sits there with a mouth shut How's the sound chicken? What's the idea of her running into the bedroom like that? I've told her worse deals than that one It's not your deals. It's you Me you might as well know it Al the whole trouble with Irma is that she worries so much about marrying you that she can't think of anything else But yeah, let me finish. It's the same way at the office That's why she can't remember anything and frankly, I don't think she'll ever find her boss's glasses until she's straightened out romantically Romantically, huh? You mean if I was to propose to chicken it would clarify things and make it possible for her to keep on working. Yes Well, that sounds attractive After all I do love my chicken, then why don't you prove it? Well, how marry her or get out of her life? You're right Jane, and I've reached the decision chicken Chicken Jane here has just made me see the light. How would you like to marry me? Oh? Alatt last you propose let's go hold a chicken before we can go through with this. I got to get permission permission who from Al? My my guardians your guardians haven't got time to explain must see them right away Well have the answer in a half an hour. Oh, all right. I'll I'll be sitting here waiting to hear from you Don't disappoint me, honey. I won't How's about a kiss for good luck chicken? All right, Al Thanks chicken What's the idea that can't help it Al every time you kiss me I get goose pimples Winning smile is a pepsi then smile again and again people have found it true the smile that wins is the pepsi Then smile here's the story of a French war bride Madeline Swenson Her smile won a passport to a bright new world Madeleine was a Paris manicurist when an American soldier Warren Swenson fell in love with her smile Warren returned to America but began sending packages to Madeleine and always included pepsi then toothpaste Soon Madeleine smile was famous all over France for she became a magazine cover girl and recently Madeleine rejected the movie career to come to America and marry her gi in Mason City, Iowa Madeleine told us I thank pepsi then today for my big chance Always now my smile is a pepsi then smile like Madeleine Swenson people all over America agree The smile that wins is the pepsi then smile in recent comparison tests Thousands of people preferred pepsi then with Arium over the brands. They've been using at home Yes pepsi then won by the overwhelming average of three to one for its cool Minty taste for making breath cleaner and teeth brighter Try a new pepsi then toothpaste with Arium, and you will see the smile that wins is the pepsi then smile That's her Mrs. O'Reilly Irma and myself waiting to hear if Al is going to marry Irma naturally We're all terribly excited, but Irma Irma accepts it as an accomplished fact right now She's checking over her hope chest and such contents. You have never seen now I can understand the negligee and the cookbook and even the Chinese checkers, but this I cannot fathom Irma What's the idea of the two cans of strong heart? Well, some of my friends of my married friends tell me it's a dog's life, and I don't want to go hungry Oh gee, I wish I would show up or at least call I can't for the life of me understand why a man his age has to get permission What do you think Mrs. O'Reilly? Well, it's a sentimental thing. I remember when I was a girl and I wanted to get married I had to get my father's permission, and it wasn't easy Of course it wasn't easy. He was in the middle of building the pyramids, and he didn't want to be disturbed Professor you keep me in stitches Well, you need something to tie you together Why you phony old Fritz Chrysler you Hold it will you the phone is ringing hello may I speak to miss Peterson. Oh just a moment Irma. It's your boss Hello miss Peterson. I'm beside myself. I have all those briefs to read and caught tomorrow, and I must have my glasses Where did you put them? I can't remember well if you don't find them soon. You're fired. You hear fire Well, mr. Clyde there's something I'd like to ask you what before you fire me now. I have my vacation Did he hang up? Yes, I guess he's so choked up with joy. It couldn't talk Come in Back again folks. Oh, well honey. Well, what's a good word ain't no good word chicken Matrimony is out out just finished pleading with my guardian. I'll just who is your guardian the unemployment office And office certainly they handle all of my finances hell you mean chicken. I practically got down on my knees I said I got a girl. I want to marry will you double my allowance? They said no So I made him a great offer. I said fellas if you double my check I promise you I will turn down the next two jobs that come my way They just mocked me only one man who can help us now who else who else but hello Joe Got a problem Joe. I want to marry Irma. Could you give me a job? Yes, certainly. This is Al What kind of job, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Mm-hmm Watch out Joe. I can't hear. Well, there's a bad connection You see the last ten men who worked for you were executives Well, oh they were executed No, no Joe want something with more of a future. Thank you and goodbye noble friend He has nothing else Looks like it can never be chicken Jay what Can't two people live as cheap as one in the case of Al I think yes because believe me there is the cheapest guy that ever lived Don't want to be cruel, but think it's for the best chicken. Oh Perfectly all right Al. Let us not be bitter. Let us be gay care for an apple No, no chicken think think I'll be running along. Oh, all right Al. Good luck fellow stout upper chin And as a Hawaiian sailor, uh, that's French for a tweeter saying Goodbye chicken done. You were magnificent and I thought you'd make a scene me. Don't be ridiculous. He's gone. So he's gone Yes, he's gone He's gone She's back in the bedroom crying her little heart out men the Brutes They're only after what they can get What are you worrying about you haven't got it Janey darling, what can we do to help her ma? Well frankly mrs. O'Reilly, I don't know what to say Al has her so upset. She can't remember where mr. Clyde's glasses are and Well right now it looks to me like she's going to lose both her job and her boyfriend I'm afraid the poor girl will get sick sick my little Ima sick. Janey. What can we do? I think Al is our only salvation. We've got to get him to propose to her Oh, if only I knew how well, there are many shortcuts to a man's heart And how would you know For your information when I was a young girl I had plenty of bows Of course they they're all gone now and I've only got one bow left this we know You do yes the bows that have gone are the ones you're wearing your hair The bow that is left is the one in your legs Oh, yes, go ahead. Go ahead. Keep it up the two of you Don't worry about Irma in there crying her heart out. We are sorry Jane I thought as friends you could momentarily forget your own differences and help me do something for her Oh, we're ashamed of ourselves. Janey. I don't want you to be ashamed I just wanted advice about how we can get Al to marry the girl Well, now Janey a man will get married for three reasons number one He wants children number two. He wants companionship or number three. He doesn't know what he wants and she talks him into it Having it. Well the martins downstairs Their son just came back from a honeymoon trip to Niagara Falls and they took movies of it Yeah Well, I was thinking that if we could show the whole movies here to Al and Irma Al might slip into a romantical mood and Irma will have a husband Oh, you mean seeing Niagara Falls will give him the idea. Oh, don't be ridiculous I haven't got too much faith in the power of suggestion. Now. Don't say that Janey Many a man doesn't know he's hungry till he walks past the restaurant And what do we got to lose? Well, nothing, I guess All right, let's try I'll go ask the martins for the equipment and professor you find out Okay, and I'll do my part too. I'll go down and bake a cake. That's a good idea Now if Al gets belligerent, we'll have something heavy to throw at him The motion picture equipment is all set up and we're ready to start the reel of Niagara Falls Al is seated beside Irma. He looks a little mildewed Seems he was sleeping on a park bench and they turned on the sprinklers Irma has her little blonde head on his shoulder She's wearing her most enticing perfume Some girls wear taboo Irma is wearing grab you We're all anxiously waiting to see if the honeymoon film will do the trick All right, professor out with the lights Oh ti al Isn't this romantic Kinda I can't see you, but your hands are cold Second that's a bunch of bananas your hole All right here goes and now watch everybody Now that is the station at Niagara Falls and look that's the falls 65,800,000 gallons of water flow over it every minute This is only topped by the amount that comes out of the leaking pipes in my room Fascinating place Right Al? Kinda I remember the place. I went there with my first husband Clancy I remember him saying he'd give me a kiss for every drop that went over the falls Or was it he'd kiss me if I dropped over the falls What's the difference? It's a wonderful place Al Yes, look at all those happy couples It's enough to give a man ideas Right Al? Could be Al honey put your head on my shoulder All right chicken Oh, it feels so good. I don't know what it is, but when you're beside me. I get the feeling. I'm not alone Know what you mean chicken Al. Wow. Look at the screen Oh, yeah, see that little boat going in and out of the falls. Yeah, doesn't that give you any ideas? It does it does it does really? Yeah, it'll be a swell way to smuggle liquor into Canada Look here Al you can make a fool out of Irma, but we've had just about enough now if you don't mind Please leave no Jane. I want him to stay. Oh Al even if you won't marry me now. You saved my job for me Well me what are you talking about? Come in Oh, it's you mr. Clyde. See here miss Peterson. It's six o'clock if you haven't found my glasses You're through. I can't wait any longer. Oh mr. Clyde. I know where they are now and all because of Al My Al what do you mean? Well, we were sitting here looking at pictures of Niagara Falls and and all that water and I realized that Al had never seen cooler to me And then suddenly I remembered where the glasses were under the water cooler. How did they get there? Well, I was taking them out to be fixed and I stopped at the water cooler to get a cup of water But Al was on your mind and you got confused. So I made a perfectly natural mistake What by your standards is a perfectly natural mistake? Well, I'll put your glasses in the wastebasket and give the cup to the optician Our winning smile is a pepsiadent smile again and again people have found the smile that wins is the pepsiadent smile That's borne out by the vote of thousands who tried new pepsiadent toothpaste with erium in a recent nationwide test These people were given plain unlabeled tubes of pepsiadent and were asked to compare it with the brands they were using at home When their votes came in pepsiadent one by the overwhelming average of three to one These people say new pepsiadent tastes better Makes their breath cleaner and their teeth brighter than any other toothpaste they tried Remember that's not just our opinion. That's what people say They say it three to one They've seen pepsiadent with erium remove the film that makes teeth look dull Uncover new brightness in their smiles Try it and you will see the smile that wins is the pepsiadent smile Erma still has her job and Erma is still single. Well, that's all right with me, but I told her just what I thought I said Erma if I were you I'd forget all about al. Why don't you play the field? And ermas said tin you've got the wrong game. I don't want to play the field. I just want to go into a huddle Oh Befuddle if there's anyone whose mind is in a muddle. It's my friend Erma is produced and directed by cy hollard Park levee writes the script with stanley adams and roland mclean And it's brought to you by pepsiadent toothpaste with erium another fine product of lever brother's company Larry wilson is starred as erma with jone banks as jane The part of al was played by john brown Hans konried was heard as professor kropotkin and gloria gordon as mrs. O'Reilly music was under the direction of led bluskin An easy way to ensure your future is to invest in united states savings bonds When you invest in united states government your investment is sure to reap a profitable harvest You'll probably remember the high rate of interest you were paid on the war bonds you bought during the war years Well that same rate still prevails You can't go wrong when you purchase a united states savings bond because everyone you buy Is backed by the united states government, which in itself offers you complete security with every bond you purchase This is wendell niles. You're on you to tune in one hour earlier next week and listen to the lux radio theater Followed by the pepsiadent show my friend erma. This is cbs the colombia