 The third thing we want to talk about is our actual positioning with our body language and a lot of us We're meeting someone for the first time. We want to give them all of our attention We want to get them connected to us and what happens is we end up in what we call positive body language where we're facing The person we're talking to and what happens here is it creates tension if you think about it It makes a lot of sense right when would we find ourselves directly facing someone when we're about to confront them Maybe it's a violent interaction right that increases tension So what we want to do is we want to move to neutral or side-by-side with our body language It breaks that tension and allows the other person to get more comfortable around us think about a crowded elevator when those doors Open what is your first instinct your first instinct is to actually move and stand side-by-side with a stranger You've never met before why because we want to be comfortable in that situation where it's crowded It's packed same thing applies when we're out socializing whether it's a networking event or in a crowded bar We want to put the other person at ease here at the art of charm We say people only remember the way you made them feel so we want to make them feel comfortable That is gonna make us charismatic and all of us have been told at one time or another that when we make that first Approach you want to show that your confidence you want to make sure that you commit to the interaction and that Puts us in a position where it's easy to be face-to-face with somebody for a prolonged period of time that and because we have some nervousness Going on and we might have some anxiety We're focused in word and we can't feel how that is coming off to the other person Inevitably somebody is gonna have to leave the interaction and it's usually gonna be the other person and when they leave that interaction They're gonna feel this tension that tension leads them to feel discomfort and not want to get to know you more So that's why we want to get their attention and move to neutral and have most of our conversation in neutral body language Try it. You're gonna find it's a lot more comfortable when you're meeting someone for the first time