 Hi, I'm Sue Choi, and people ask me all the time, why are you so angry? And one, I have one of those voices where I sound angry when I'm actually not angry, or maybe I am angry. Would you like to hear my story? So I am old, and I have all kinds of public speaking baggage. It fills up the stage. It goes up those aisles. And I am so old when I started going to conferences. There wasn't a national carrier for cellular data or voice. Like, roaming was real. To make a phone call, do you remember you opened your phone and pulled out the antenna, made a call? Yeah. I mean, this is the thing. And there was no Uber. There was no Airbnb. There was no TripAdvisor. So what would happen when you go to a conference is, ooh, hopefully TaxDriven is the conference venue, and you pray that you pick the right hotel that was in a decent neighborhood with low crime rates and no bedbugs. Yay, you win, right? And so traveling wasn't safe. I got into a taxi out of coming to the airport, and the taxi driver decided that I should meet his mom and started driving away from the city. And so I had to jump out of the car and walk to the pay phone and call 9-1-1. And, like, anxiety just becomes a status quo where you make sure, like, all of your friends know exactly where you're going for this conference and what time you're speaking and what time you're supposed to be back. And then you get up status calls to make sure that, you know, hey, I'm alive, and then die, and, oh, thank God, because then you don't feel so alone. And then you get to the conference, and there were no code of conducts. And, like, I talked to a conference organizer about, like, blatant harassment, and he was all embarrassed and gave me a coupon to go to the breakfast buffet on the house, and I ate my fillies. And so you just sort of avoid conference hotels because, like, you sit next to a guy at a keynote, and then he followed me to the elevator, and then followed me to my room, and, holy, it ended up being really bad for him. But you're just exhausted. Why? Like, you go to these conferences, and I'm, like, exhausted, and they're, like, why? And I'm, like, well, somebody kept dialing my room over and over again wanting to talk to me. And the night before, some guy was, like, I want to critique your talk at two o'clock in the morning at your hotel. But so I, like, tapped out. I'm, like, I'm good. I don't have to public speak. I've been involved in some great open source communities. And it was part of my career, too, to, like, go out and talk. So imagine me getting mic'd up, and I have all this baggage around me that nobody can see. And a guy walks up to me as I'm watching the audience come into the room, and he's, like, hey, there's no coffee. And I'm, like, I'm cool because I'm jittery. I'll get out right now. And he's, like, nope, you don't understand. There is no coffee. Woo! I unloaded on him. I was so mad I didn't realize it turned on my mic. And the audience, as they're coming through, all they hear is me screeching and, you know, being a very nasty woman, honestly. And I lost a promotion of it. So, yeah. So what happens with all of this, you just become this weird, angry ball, and you say public speaking, or, like, Sue, do you want to, and you just, like, you sort of black out, you get so mad, right? But, hey, I tried it again, and I asked the audience if they had any questions, and somebody raised their hand and asked me if I could validate their parking. So you sort of get stuck in the weird, like, anger land, and, oh, it was, like, so bad where you start involuntarily looking for ways people have insulted you, or they have, like, rubbed you the wrong way, and you start, like, constantly being anxious and exhausted, and then you're super angry, and I was, like, I need help. I need help. Like, everything is triggering me right now. DevOps. Because sharing is caring. So that is why I'm telling you my story, and I want you to tell me yours. Because, like, I'm getting better, and some great acts of kindness, Andrew Clay Schaefer on that magical coffee incident, was like, hey, you don't know me? Are you okay? And I'm like, nope, not okay. He's like, you should come sit here, and I'm going to just talk to you about what DevOps is. And I'm like, huh, this sort of comes in right? And, like, you know, I'm a complex person, and honestly, I'm super high strong. So I'm always going to be a little anxious, or, like, frustrated, and mad, and tired, but, like, maybe I'm going to be happier about public speaking, right? But I need your help. Because DevOps, to me, is a safe word. And let's continue to make this a safe place. Because you guys are amazing. I want to hug every single one of you right now. I do! Just don't ask me to validate your barking or get you coffee. But let's continue to make it a safe place where we can have discussions, and I can talk to you about all these things, and hey, I'll go first. Hi, I'm Sue. I'm very angry, but I'll listen. And I will believe you, and I'm sorry that happened to you. And we can get through this together. Thank you.