 Item number SCP-J Object Class Safe Correction Euclid Spooky Containment Procedures SCP-J cannot be faithfully contained due to the nature of its being. In the event that SCP-J manifests outside of its containment chamber, it is to be escorted back to its chamber and recontained. SCP-J's containment chamber is a standard humanoid containment chamber with a single long security door to ensure simple recontainment. Description SCP-J is visually identical to a typical human skeleton standing 1.72 meters in height and weighing 5.44 kilograms. The skull, face, and jaw structure of SCP-J is completely flexible and grants it the ability to make a range of facial expressions despite its lack of muscles or flesh. As well, SCP-J is capable of vocalization and sapient thought. SCP-J is capable of vanishing and manifesting at will to any location within 66.6 meters from its original position during the month of any major commercial holiday. Individuals in the location of SCP-J's manifestation often report a subtle rattling noise originating somewhere behind them. Individuals exposed to SCP-J and its anomalous effects are to be administered class amnestics prior to recontainment of the entity. When interacting with living human subjects, SCP-J will typically display verbally aggressive behavior often in the form of insults and challenges to physical altercations. Despite this behavior, SCP-J has yet to seriously or purposefully injure a living subject out of observable malice. SCP-J displays an anomalous understanding of individual subjects' mothers and sisters where these relations are applicable. Entry Incident October 28th, 2016 The following incident took place between Dr. Randy M. Filler and SCP-J prior to a recontainment incident. What the fuck? Again? SCP-J, you insufferable fuck! Stay the fuck in your chamber before I beat your sorry ass! You can't tell me what to do, you skin-sack! David Bones does as he pleases! Do you even care anymore? This is why nobody visits you anymore! Jesus, you're so fucking annoying! Shut your dong-slopper, fuckboy! You can't rattle these bones! You can't rustle these jimmies! Spooey-dash-J, if you keep this shit up, I'm gonna call security down here and get you terminated if you don't- You're gonna what, kill me? I'll fuck you up, bitch! Then I'll fuck your mother! I'll no-scope you! I swear to God! Why do you have to do this every year? Jesus, you absolute twatwaffle! Suck my Scala-balls! SCP-Spooky-J and Dr. Filler proceeded to argue for several minutes before Dr. Filler was removed from the observation room and dismissed from active duty in Site-12 and has been placed on paid leave. Entry Incident, November 23rd, 2016 SCP-Spooky-J appeared in the cafeteria of Site-12 and began to collect all of the uneaten holiday food into several trash bags before disappearing from staff perception. It then appeared in the quarters of Dr. Randy M. Filler and smeared cranberry sauce across the surface of his desk before consuming large amounts of bread stuffing. It's Thanksgiving! AHHHHHHHHHHH! You asshole! You ruined my novel! SCP-Spooky-J continues to consume excessive amounts of stuffing where it exits SCP-Spooky-J's body through its rib cage and is now coating the floor. Why are you doing this? You don't even have a stomach, you fuckwit! I'll do it because I love you, dad! SCP-Spooky-J throws the rest of the bag at the wall where it bursts open above Dr. Filler's bed and proceeds to run out of the room before security can arrive. Dr. Filler has hence requested a transfer to another site. Request pending. Entry Incident, December 24th to 25th, 2016 1950 hours SCP-Spooky-J exits its containment chamber undetected. 2030 hours The hubcaps from all vehicles in Site-12's staff garage go missing and are not found for several hours. 2314 hours Dozens of large gift-wrapped boxes appear in the common area of Site-12 while the room is vacated. 0110 hours SCP-Spooky-J reappears in its containment chamber displaying erratic excited behavior. It is wearing a green Santa hat at this time. 0750 hours An announcement is made that staff vehicles have been vandalized and on-site personnel display warranted agitation. 01035 hours Various personnel enter the common area of Site-12 and discover the gift-wrapped boxes. On the wall farthest from the doorway, the statement Merry Christmas Fuck Boys is painted in expired gravy. 01055 hours All gift-wrapped presents are opened by an EOD team and are all discovered to contain the stolen hubcaps from the staff garage. A request has been submitted to the administrative board on the topic of the termination and archival of SCP-Spooky-J to prevent future nuisances and possible hazards to Site-12. Entry Incident, February 14, 2017 Dr. Randy M. Filler received an anonymous package containing a human tibia and a letter reading. This Valentine's Day, I'd like to be your Fuck Boy from Your Spookily. Contents of the package have been moved to forensic storage. Dr. Filler has requested an indeterminate leave of absence after receiving this package. Request again denied.