 The craft foods company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the craft foods company. Have you heard the news about crafts new cheddar cheese? It's called K brand natural K brand will delight you folks who love a superb quality cheddar cheese Delicious mellow. Yes. K brand is really something to get excited about listen for more about K brand cheese later Well, what's with the great Gilder Sleeve? There's usually a woman in his life and this time It's the attractive widow who's recently moved to summer field Doris Dalrymple at the moment The great man is over at her house popping the question William mrs. Dalrymple, please well alright You've made me the happiest man in the world Yes, I'll accept mr. Gilder Sleeve a hay ride sounds like loads of fun All the jolly boys and their wives and their sweethearts are going I can hardly wait until next week Oh, I've never been on one before mr. Gilder Sleeve. What do you do on a hay ride? Well, we rent a big wagon from the livery stable right out to the woods It's beautiful out there this time of the year then we build a campfire roast weenies and sing Is that all? Well, there's the ride home at night under the harvest moon Won't it be a little chilly chilly? Well, if you get cold you can put my overcoat around you Of course, I'll be in a two And so all week long our water commissioner's cup has been filled to overflowing the Days have slowly passed and now at last it's the evening before the happy event We find our pudgy Lothario returning home from the office Up in this guy. Well, hello everybody the water man cometh Hello my dear Marjorie you're getting more beautiful every day That's all right. No charge Hello birdie. How's the queen in the kitchen? What's the matter birdie? Well, you ain't gonna like this. What you ain't gonna like it. Well, tell me birdie. What is it? I'll tell you but you ain't gonna like it Birdie, what is it? Are you hungry miss? Oh, yes indeed birdie, and I'm ready for one of your delicious dinners Oh, that's what I wanted to tell you. I've been so busy. I didn't get around to start and something yet It won't be ready for nearly an hour. Well, that's all right. There's no hurry. Take your time birdie Huh? That's the first time I ever heard you say that mr. Gelsley. You're usually pretty calorie conscious Yeah, well any time you're ready birdie. Okay, mr. Gelsley first time I ever heard you say that My you're in a good mood tonight, unki. Oh, I don't know. I hadn't noticed it It wouldn't have anything to do with that. Hey ride tomorrow now, would it? Hey ride Say that is tomorrow isn't it? As if you didn't know how are you and mrs. Dahl rimple getting along you said I was taking mrs. Dahl rimple You've got her name scribbled all over the telephone pad. Oh, and somebody carved a heart on our tree with her initials in it It wasn't Lee Roy Aren't you ever going to grow up grow up? Why should I it's more fun this way I better go back and look into this No birdie Give it back to me Roy go on now Oh, Lee Roy you mustn't pick on Craig. He's just a little boy. Yeah There's no reason why you two fellas Craig be careful where you point that gun. I'm gonna shoot you Craig point that thing the other way now Craig Put that gun down your little Well, nothing can make me mad today go on Craigie shoot me Go on now play children You mean that horrible looking packing box over there Telephone all right birdie boys I've got a great little idea Lee Roy you let Craig in your clubhouse and Craig will let you play with his Adam gun Won't you Craig? That's the spirit now go ahead and play like too healthy American boy Everything under control out there. Yes, indeed birdie. You just have to know how to handle children Yes, I know hello hello, Mr. Gildesley. Oh, Mrs. Dalrymple Mr. Gildesley I called about the hay ride. Well nice of you to call everything's all set see tomorrow two o'clock Mr. Gildesley, I'm awfully sorry, but I'm afraid I won't be able to go He's got the sniffles what Mrs. Dalrymple is running a temperature I just couldn't leave him alone tomorrow. What I hope it's all righty with you. What I knew Nothing my dear you just run along. Don't worry about your old uncle. He'll be all right Don't wait for me You just go right ahead fill your little stomach Doris Dalrymple Why did you do this to me? Why are you such a scatterbrained? No, I'm sorry Doris. I didn't mean You're lovely beautiful What if you are a little scatterbrained what the heck we could have had such a good time riding home in the moonlight Snuggling up close Like I did last year with Eve Goodwin. It's too late. There's nothing I could Eve Wonder if I could now Well, she wouldn't have to know she's second choice Good oldie Surprising you yeah Just happened to be passing your house. So you're light on Well, I'm glad you dropped by come in Please sit down. Thanks. You can only stay a minute though How have you been Eve? Fine. Thank you. How about you? Oh, I've been fine fine Well, Dr. Morton, I haven't seen much of you lately Where have you been keeping yourself keeping him? Well How have you been Eve? You just asked me that Brockmore. Oh, I did By the way, Eve, what day is tomorrow? Why it's Saturday talk Why that's the day of the big hayride. Yes, I know can you imagine that I almost forgot about it Well, how are the children? I've got a great idea. Just thought of it. What's that? How about you and me going on the hayride together? What isn't that a great idea? Just thought of it Well, how about it Eve? Well, I I rather thought you'd be taking Mrs. Dallrymple. Mrs. Dallrymple? Who's she? Oh Dr. Morton, I've been hearing about you today. Why I hardly know Doris. Mrs. Dallrymple. Oh, really? Sure, that's a trouble with this town. You speak to a lady on the street, pet her dog a few times and well, you know rumors. Of course After all, I have to be friendly to her Eve. She's a good customer of the water department. Brings a lot of water. Soldiers are dogs I see. Anyhow, I'd rather take you Eve any day of the week. Yes, sir Who wants to take Mrs. Dallrymple? That's scatterbrained. How about it Eve? Dr. Morton, we haven't seen much of each other for a long time Well, that's alrighty. I mean, that's alright. After all, there's nothing like a hayride for getting acquainted again Well, it might be nice Sure it will Eve, riding home under the harvest moon. And Eve, if it gets chilly, it can put my overcoat around you Of course, I'll be in it too Shine on, shine on harvest moon, up in the sky Oh, oh, Bertie, you still working? Just finishing up, Mr. Gilsey. Have a nice evening Oh, very nice. Who's over at Miss Goodwin's? Oh, the judge calls Hooker? What did he want? Said he was just checking up to make sure everybody's bringing their share of the food for the hayride Why doesn't he mind his own business? We never should have made him chairman Well, I got your basket already. Weeners and mustard and sweet pickles Want me to get that? I'll get it, Bertie. Probably the judge. Old busybody Hello Oh, hello, Mr. Gilderslave Oh, hello, Mrs. Dowerample Oh, Mr. Gilderslave, I have some wonderful news What's that? Duke is all well Duke? My dog. So I can go on a hayride with you after all Oh, isn't that peachy? It was all a mistake. He didn't really have a temperature at all He'd just been sleeping under the stove Are you sure? Maybe you'd better stay home, keep an eye on him I wouldn't take any chances Oh, no, no, he's friskier than ever You should see him. He just jumped over the dining room table Mrs. Dowerample, he might have a relapse You're worrying about Duke, isn't that cute? Oh, Mrs. Dowerample Duke, man's best friend Now what am I going to do? Can't take her and Eve, too? How do I get into these con... Who's that? Hooker, why doesn't he stay out of my life, the old snoop? Why doesn't... Say, he used to be kind of sweet on Eve I wonder if... You're sly, Gilda Sleeve Hello, Gilda Hello, Horace, old friend Don't mind my dropping in this late, Gilda I'm just making sure everything is in readiness for tomorrow That's my job, you know Perfectly all right, Horace Don't know what the jolly boys would do without you Well, thank you Not at all, old friend We're lucky to have a man like you You're one in a million Gilda You're after something My judge, what do you mean? You're transparent as glass Well, I did have a little favor to ask, old pal Never mind the applesauce, get to the point Judge I'm in awful trouble I've got a date with Mrs. Dowrymple for the hayride tomorrow That doesn't sound so awful to me And I've got a date with Eve Goodwin, too Sort of being a hog, aren't you? I can't take them both, judge I was wondering if you could take one of them for me Eve Goodwin Well... Please, Horace I'll give you anything you want You can have my hunting knife Well... And I'll throw in a couple of bottles of K-Lac Well, I might consider it Judge, you're a true jolly boy I'll never forget you for this It's all right, Gilda I'm sure Miss Goodwin would rather go with me anyhow What? Being a school principal She naturally enjoys intelligent conversation What do you mean? Well, you're not exactly the intellectual type, Gilda No, look here, Hooker Besides that, you're fat Oh, mmm And no woman loves a fat man Why, you old bag of bones Why don't you admit it, Gilda? Miss Goodwin prefers me because I'm distinguished, witty Much better looking than you are You old goat, Eve would rather go out with me any day of the week I doubt that Well, I know it Handsome I've seen Scarecrow's better looking than you So you think Miss Goodwin would prefer to go out with you? You bet I do All right, Gilly In that case, you take her on the hay rod Huh? Good night, Gilly Judge, Horace, come back I didn't mean it, old friend All right, Gilly You take both of them Hope you have a good time tomorrow We'll be back with a great Gilda's leave in just a minute Every once in a while, something comes along that's really news Well, here's ours Crafts Master Cheesemakers now give you a natural cheese Made from pasteurized milk It's called K Brand Natural That's K-A-Y, K Brand Natural Here's cheddar cheese with a delicious mellow flavor A tender melt-in-your-mouth texture Here's cheddar made with cheese A tender melt-in-your-mouth texture Here's cheddar made from milk that's been pasteurized As carefully as the milk your children drink Say, that sounds pretty special It is, and K Brand is aged a special way, too Every big 10-pound bar goes to the curing room Sealed in its own transparent wrapper And it's still in that same sparkling clean wrapper When your dealer gets it You mean there's no cheese cloth around it? That's exactly what I mean And that's why all of K Brand cheese is usable There's no rhyme Tomorrow when you shop, look for the transparent wrapped bar Marked K Brand Natural K Brand Natural down the top and sides Have your dealer cut a portion for you But get enough for K Brand as mighty good as a snack With crackers and sandwiches on your cheese tray And green apple pie fresh from the oven Topped with a thick slice of mellow, full-bodied K Brand Cheddar Folks, that's happy eating Look for, ask for, K Brand Natural tomorrow Well, the great gilder slave has spent a sleepless night Perched on the horns of a dilemma Two women mean trouble, double trouble It's morning now and the great man has finally come to a decision I'll call her, that's what I'll do I'll just say, Eve, I'm sorry But I can't take you on the hayride I'm going to change your plans I'll be firm about it Hello? Hello, Eve? This is Throckmorton Oh, hello, Throckmorton Eve? Yes Eve? Yes, what is it, Throckmorton? Eve, I'll see you this afternoon at two o'clock Mr. Geller slave Hello, Pee-Vee What can I do for nice something wrong? I've never seen you look so peeked Pee-Vee, I've got troubles Well, I wouldn't worry, Mr. Geller slave You will forget all about your troubles on the hayride this afternoon What's the matter, Mr. Geller slave? Nothing, Pee-Vee Yes, there's nothing like a hayride to relax a person Riding along, clippity-clop Mary voices lifted in song There is a tavern in the town, in the town Please, please, Pee-Vee, I've got a splitting headache Oh, sorry, I guess my voice is a little powerful Pee-Vee, did you ever have a date with two women? I mean, did you ever take out two women at the same time? Oh, yes, when I was a young man You did? Oh, yes When I went to the picture show, I often took my mother and sister No, no, Pee-Vee, I mean with two women, you liked Well, I liked my mother and sister I had an older brother, I wasn't so fond of Oh, gods, Pee-Vee, didn't you ever take out two women you felt romantic about? Oh, no, I wouldn't do that I never believed in living dangerously You weren't thinking of doing that, were you, Mr. Geller slave? Who me? Of course not I wouldn't be crazy enough to get mixed up with two women at the same time Well, no, I wouldn't say that I was just asking, Pee-Vee, in case it ever happened What would you do? Well, I wouldn't get into it in the first place But in case you did, Pee-Vee, what would you do? Well, I wouldn't get into it in the first place But in case you did, Pee-Vee, what would you do? Well, I'd get out of it You really? How? There's a friend of yours across the street Huh? Who? Don't you recognize her? It's Miss Goodwin What's she doing? Right now, she seems to be coming over here Look, she must have found out So long, Pee-Vee Well, Mr. Geller slave, why are you going out the back way? Oh, habit of mine, goodbye Miss Floyd, let me get in that barber chair Quick Sure Hey, what do you have? Throw a towel over my face What? Don't just stand there, throw a towel over my face Okay What? Sorry Hey, what's up, Commissioner? Who you hiding from? The lawyer after you? Hey, you ain't been dipping into the till up at the water department Are you kidding? Well, that towel over your face ain't much of a disguise Anybody looking in here to know you There's only one stomach like that in town Keep those remarks to yourself And look who's talking And here's your towel, Floyd What are you trying to do? Suffocate me? Well, as long as you're in the chair, Commissioner How about a shave? I don't need a shave Floyd, kind of stand between me and the window, will you? Okay Well, look, if you don't want anything I'd kind of like to close up shop Me and the missus have to get ready for the hayride this afternoon Oh This is one hayride I'm not gonna miss Yes, sir, I'm gonna get there early and see the fireworks What are you talking about? Wait till those two dames find out you're taking both of them Hooker's been in here, I see See, I don't blame you for hiding from them I'd hate to be in your shoes when they meet Wow Why? What do you think they'll do? I'll have to tear that hay wagon apart They say, female of the species is more deadly than the male Well, not even, Mrs. Dalriple They're quiet refined ladies Still, I'll let them quiet dames fool you Every woman's a Tigress underneath And she'll fight to the death for her mate That's the law of the jungle That's ridiculous Now, look, you take the bull moose When two females in the herd have a patch for the same mousse they'll monkey around They just stick their heads down and charge Oh, for heaven's sake That's the law of the jungle Oh, I've had enough of your stories I'm getting out of here See you later, commission And may the best mousse win Downtown Gee, the phone's been ringing all morning for you The phone? It has? Who was it? Oh, lots of people Eve Goodwin And Mrs. Dalriple, she called three times And oh yes, the judge called Hooker He said the hay wagon will be barf you at two o'clock sharp with your lady friends, both of them What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? Nothing, Margie Hucky, what's the matter? Are you in some kind of trouble? Well, I am sort of Is there anything I can do? No, my dear, thank you very much, Al Work it out some way Well, all right, I'm going over to Francie's And you better get ready for that hay ride Why? What time is it? It's five minutes to two Goodbye Oh, my goodness, I'll be here pretty soon Pull yourself together, Gilles What's the matter with you? Afraid of two little women? That's ridiculous Why they can't? I don't know, though Law of the jungle Wonder where I could hide Under the bed And then they'd find me there Say, I know That's it They'll never find me back there Don't see anybody around I hope I can get in Leroy's clubhouse It's not a very big packing box This must be the entrance where it's dug out here A darn kid could have made that hole a little bigger I'm no gopher Well Here goes Hope I can squeeze through I'm almost in Just thought I'd come in and see your little clubhouse Maybe I could join your club How about that, Leroy? If you'll just give me a hand here and pull me in A vote on it? Well, I can't lie here like this, half in and half out You'd have to pay due, Zunk I'll pay it Of course, the grown-ups ought to be a little more Maybe 50 cents? All right, Leroy, don't overdo it I agree Can I come in now? Well, we'll have to vote first Hurry up and vote I can't breathe You can today Make it snappy, Leroy Fellow member, what will you do? God, Leroy When I get my hands on you Take it easy, John You're pulling my shoes off Oh, Mr. Gilder sleep You're down in that tiny little hole Isn't that cute? Hello, Sir Archmorton Eve Come on, Sir Archmorton Mrs. Dowrymple and I have been waiting for you You and Mrs. Dowrymple? But I thought aren't you two... I'm agreed, no Miss Goodwin and I have been getting acquainted I think she's just peachy Yes, well, we three will have a wonderful time on the hayride Come on, Mr. Gilder sleep Yes, I'll never understand moose I mean women We've been for a game of cards Top off the evening with sandwiches Of craft's delicious new cheese K-brand natural K-brand is a natural cheddar cheese With uniform fine flavor and texture And made from pasteurized milk Yes, a natural cheddar made from milk That's been pasteurized as carefully As the milk your children drink K-brand has no rhyme Because it cures in its own wrapper Use mellow good K-brand on your cheese tray With pie in sandwiches as a snack Tomorrow look for the big ten pound bar at your dealers Have him cut as much as you wish But be sure you see the words K-brand natural down the top and sides It's the new natural cheddar cheese Made from pasteurized milk Mrs. Dowrymple, Doris Yes? Getting kind of chilly Would you like to put my overcoat around you? It's big enough for two All right Oh, throughout morning? Yes, Eve I'm getting a little chilly Oh, you poor thing Say, I've got an idea, Miss Goodwin You and I can sit together And put Mr. Gildersleeve's overcoat around us What? You don't mind, do you, Mr. Gildersleeve? Oh, I don't mind All right, everybody, all together now Oh, shut up This is John Wall saying Good night for the Craft Foods Company Makers of the famous line Listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday For the further adventures of the Great Gildersleeve Ladies, here's a speedy main dish That will help you stretch that food budget It's craft dinner One package of craft dinner Contains enough quick cooking macaroni And craft grated To make a dish of macaroni and cheese That will serve four people It takes only seven minutes cooking time To prepare craft dinner And every bite is rich With golden cheddar cheese goodness Get a couple packages from your food store tomorrow Look for the yellow and blue package Marked craft dinner The family will like it For it's a craft quality product This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company