 All right guys welcome back to the 21 convention I hope you all enjoyed your lunch as much as I did our next speaker that we have lined up for you has been featured on the New York Times VH1 even a dr. Phil show But that's not nearly as impressive as being a four-time speaker at the 21 convention He's going to talk about the things that hold you back that you can't see without further ado DJ Fuji. Please take the stage Orlando This is year three. Let's see if we can sound out for like we got a pair. Good afternoon, Orlando Let's give a round of applause To your host and to Anthony Johnson and to your entire staff My name as you all know is DJ Fuji and I'm here to talk to you guys today about blind spots I thought a lot about what am I going to talk about that someone else hasn't already covered What am I going to cover you guys aren't bored to tears of hearing now? I realized there's a lot of things out there that nobody actually knows is holding them back There's a lot of concepts. There's a lot of things a lot of drills There's a lot of things out there that are holding you guys back. The problem is you have no idea So today we're going to talk about blind spots blind spots are undetected cancers There's a cancer in your body that's eating away at you the things that are holding you back in Game in life in career in everything. The problem is you don't know they're there You don't know what's causing them You don't know what's creating that problem. That's what we're here to eliminate today Blind spots are a little bit like driving. We've all been driving, right? And we don't check our blind spot We make that lane change person behind us honks Or the person next to us that we're about to hit. Hopefully they honk Hopefully we don't just plow into them and there's some Asian guys sitting here. So I know you know what I'm talking about Well as they're called blind spots You don't check your blind spots. You don't check for that car there. You just plow right into it When you look in your mirror, you can't see that blind spot. That's why it's called the blind spot Same thing in pick up and in game. These are concepts that no one teaches. I don't know why I try to figure it out. No idea why nobody teaches it. The things that no one ever covers ebooks dvds courses No one talks about these things. So that's what we're going to cover today First off a personal question We're going to do a quick test for social pressure Okay, I want you guys I'm going to ask you guys to be really honest And this is going to be potentially embarrassing But I want you guys to be really honest with me. Okay At the age of 16 who here was still a virgin? Okay, keep your hands up At 17 who was still keep your hands up if you're still 18 19 20 We've got two last of the mohicans over there Okay, I want to applaud you guys For being able to withstand that social pressure and for that honesty and I'm also going to tell you that for you guys After the break come up and grab these These are two for each of you guys right 30 minute fun coaching sessions free. Okay. I want you guys Despite having those disadvantages. I want you guys to get better. That's what we're here for All right, give those guys a round of applause And to those of you guys watching at home This is where you missed out again I hope to see you guys here next year. All right, let's move on Some things you're going to learn today Why sometimes even the best coaches Can inadvertently hurt your game And a lot of times we don't even know that's happening Sometimes the best coaches will give you advice that hurts your game. How do we prevent that? We're going to learn the pitfalls that most students make over and over and over again Because they don't know what it is and therefore they can't correct it We're going to learn the two skills that you have to know to stay out of the friend zone I felt like I was in the friend zone for like 10 years. It sucked probably longer than that But just in my development here I was in that friend zone for a long time because nobody taught me how to get out of it Nobody said this is what you do. Everyone just said, I'll just keep going in field. You'll figure it out They said, oh, just escalate. It didn't help me. We're going to talk about what you have to do to stay out And we're going to talk about how to unlearn several commonly accepted theories Some things that you guys expect to be true you think are true because you've been told over and over They're true, but they're not these are blind spots gentlemen Good and bad advice. That's our first thing. This is going to be 10 things 10 blind spots That are going to hold you guys back. The first one is this idea of advice We all get advice from different people. Some of it's useful. Some of it's not A lot of people think that there's such thing though as good advice Or there's such thing as bad advice. There isn't No advice is good or bad Advice is only as useful as it is applicable Which means I don't care who gives the advice. I don't care if it's the best coach in the world That gives you this advice Because to him that advice might be amazing, but to him that advice might be worthless Advice is only as good as it is applicable. That's an absolute key thing to remember. It's not universal So the next time you guys are watching a dvd reading a book or someone's giving you advice Take that into account There is no good advice The best advice often Comes from unexpected sources Because once again, it often is the advice that you need So don't discount advice from people who aren't coaches. Don't discount Learning lessons from people who you think oh, maybe I'm better than them Don't ever be afraid to learn from those people around you because oftentimes that's when the breaking point happens That's when you bust through those barriers those sticking points Most people especially most coaches Fall into this problem right here. Most people give advice designed for people similar to them And you know what? I'll be honest. I do exactly the same thing I'm aware of that and I try to calibrate that but I do the same thing now The only thing different the only fortunate is that most of you are like me That's why a lot of you guys can identify with my story A lot of you guys know where I came from and you know what that feels like Now that I happen to be fortunate in that regard But most coaches most people in general will teach from their point of view Which also means if you have someone giving you advice He's often giving you advice for where he's at And if he's not aware of that that he's going to give you advice that's really good for where he's at What does that mean? That means if you're not where he's at that advice is worthless to you We've all heard just be confident I'll tell you right now that for a coach just be confident is the best advice ever that makes so much sense to us We hear that we're like absolutely just be confident. You just walk up like you're the man You just be confident. That's all the game really is this confidence. It's simple. It's not hard to us that makes so much sense But you know what seven years ago That didn't help me because people tried to tell me that and I had coaches that tried to tell me just be confident Fuji didn't help Because that was the advice for a coach. It wasn't advice for me. That wasn't advice for us students We've all heard just be yourself I'll tell you right now same deal coaches. You know what I'm talking about be yourself is the greatest advice ever Just be your masculine self. Just be your core self Just walk up like psych said at some point I had to walk up and put psych aside because I had to walk up and be Jared Be yourself is the greatest advice ever for me for him For coaches not for you guys as I'm sure you guys know Because you tried being yourself And it doesn't work not at that level Remember advice same thing here advice is only as good as good as it is applicable to you We've all heard you know when you're going out you should just have fun Yeah, just have fun when you go out. I hear that everywhere in the community And you know what it makes a lot of sense to me I hear it. I'm like, yeah, you should I have way fun when I go out I go out and talk to people I joke around I screw around I mess up myself amused I have fun But you know what seven years ago when I was in the trenches when I was getting blown out every night 20 sets in a row that wasn't fun And if you had told me that seven years ago, you just got to have fun Then I wouldn't go out Because what's fun to me is staying at home playing playstation not going out and getting blown out 20 times in a row I would never be here if I took that advice That advice isn't good or bad That advice is applicable to certain people And for me seven years ago that advice was worthless for me now that advice is gold Remember that the advice you get is only as good as it is Applicable remember that because there's a lot of people giving you advice out there for other coaches There's a lot of coaches out there telling you giving you super advanced stuff when you don't open Oh, this is how you do a threesome. It's how you sexually escalate with three girls with you Oh, the key to gaining attraction is to bring out like four tens with you then you have Let me get this straight So I can't just even have friends But in order to create attraction, I just need to bring four like 10 models with me If I could do that, I wouldn't be asking you the question in the first place I wouldn't have a problem But that advice makes a lot of sense to coaches So remember that filter that Remember that a lot of coaches and a lot of advice have very good intentions But if it doesn't apply to you then it will not help you Does that make sense All right, let's move on unrealistic expectations require unrealistic work ethic absolute key thing There's a blind spot a lot of people don't realize this A lot of people don't realize that those two are inextricably linked because they say this After I read that a book i'll be able to pull models right Uh, it's okay appearances don't matter right looks don't matter right fuji. That's what everyone says A lot of us in this industry have very unrealistic expectations Yet we have very realistic work ethic Some of us have really low work ethic But we want to be olympians We want to be the best We want to be gurus. We want to be amazing Even the guys that have low expectations are still like I want to be 10 times where I am today There's still the guys that say okay. I don't want to be professional, but I want to be really really good And those are oftentimes the same guys whose work ethic is also low In order to be successful in anything your work ethic your discipline Must always exceed the difficulty in your task it must always exceed your expectations because if you expect If you have goals to be an olympian, but you train like an amateur Then you will be in amateur In the marines they always tell us that you don't rise to the level of expectations you have You don't rise to the level of opportunity to the occasion That's not the way it works. You always fall to your level of training And if you train like a beginner like an amateur Like someone who's not going to get good then you won't there's no secret magic formula that transforms that Day in and day out you see guys like this Who want to train half-ass but want to get 100 results? It doesn't work like that And this applies to anything that you want to do This industry and the fitness industry happen to be two industries where a lot of people believe that No matter what you want to do If your work ethic exceeds Your expectations, then you're going to achieve it And we've seen that time in and time out We've seen so many stories of guys that have able to achieve amazing things when they shouldn't have been able to Who here knows who mugs he bogues Five foot three mba player shortest player in the mba He should not be have ever been in the mba. He's five. He's shorter than me and that's pretty short He should not have been in the mba But you know what he didn't let that stop him and I guarantee you his work ethic It's probably 10 times that of a guy who's already seven foot I bet you money. He works harder than yelmin Because he's not seven feet tall He realized the difficulty of me reaching the mba at five foot three means I better work a whole lot harder Now the good news is that you always can achieve that there's very few people in this world that have some sort of disability or some sort of genetic built-in thing Where they can't achieve it or they can't achieve something they want to do But you know what the more difficult the task The higher your work ethic has to be i'm five foot four in asian. I know that firsthand That's why i'm telling you guys There's so many guys that I went through three or four hundred wings that I went through that aren't here today They're not in pickup and it's not because they got married and they lived happily ever after they're still miserable Because they couldn't hack it because their work ethic didn't measure up. That's the key here Number three importance of wingmen A lot of guys here A lot of guys in general go out with guys that are worse than them Now none of us no one can go always go out with people better than you It just doesn't mathematically compute But you can go out with guys that have the skills or maybe the mindsets or the attitudes that you want In my long-term coaching program, I always see students who say, oh, yeah, I'm just going out with my regular friends You know, we're going to go to the bar and I'm going to do the drills and I'm going to do the assignments You gave me fuji I always tell them don't go out with your regular friends unless you go to work with your regular friends That don't work at your company You just bring your friends into work. Yeah, just come hang out. Well, we're just going to screw around at the office You'd probably don't do that I don't care what job you're in even I don't do that and I work in a bar You don't do that because you don't get things done You surround yourself with people that are like-minded in this right here Surround yourself with people that have the skills that you want Now maybe that guy isn't even better than you Maybe you're better than him but he approaches 20 sets a night and you approach two Then you want to go out with that guy Because you need to increase your risk You need to learn the things that that guy maybe that he maybe he doesn't have anything going for him except that he's always positive He never looks at things in the negative then you need to go out with that guy But don't go out with guys that drag you down and certainly don't go out with guys That are always the guys looking to you to gain something Don't go out with the leeches and don't go out with the guys that are unwilling to push themselves That's like going to the gym with a fat guy Not a fat guy who's working out the fat guy who's you're lifting and he's eating donuts What do you think is going to happen? You're going to look at a donut and you'd be like this is not that fun. Fuck this. I'm going to go you to donut with him We are birds of a feather gentlemen We will do the things of the people around us If you just think about the six people you hang out with the most Statistically you average out their income your income is extremely likely to be that average It also means if you want to be making more money then you start hanging out with people that make more money birds of a feather That's how all of this stuff works Approach machine you guys aren't approaching 10 20 set tonight go out with somebody who is I don't care how good he is go out with that guy because while you're standing around just Looking around and you see this guy approaching. It's going to put the pressure on you to approach and vice versa naturals Go out with naturals Now it's going to suck i'll tell you that right now right off the bat It's going to suck because every night they're going to pull if they're good naturals And you're going to be the only guy not pulling it's going to be three guys And you and three girls and you'll be like this sucks. This is every night It's going to be sometimes naturals who steal your sets because that's what naturals do They don't know the rules that we abide by so they just come in and they steal your stuff Then maybe they don't even mean to they just happen to be male models and when they walk by girls like oh my god Who's that guy? It's going to suck, but you know what it's a short-term loss for an extreme long-term gain I'd say about 99 of my wings Have and always will be naturals Because there's not that many synthetics that are good There's not that many guys like me that are good It's like one in like a hundred thousand if that not enough guys that are actually doing it So hang out with the naturals hang out with those guys and learn from those guys Just being around them even if all they do is steal your sets and make you feel bad because they pull every night Being around them will make you better if I didn't have natural wings. I wouldn't be standing here today At least 50 percent of everything that I know and everything that I have Learned and absorbed comes from the fact that I hung out with the guys who can do it because I can read about it all day long in a textbook But when you hang out with guys that do it that have those mindsets you absorb those too Finally loyalty hang out with guys that are loyal to Hang out with guys that you would normally be friends with Hang out with guys that are going to have your back Now like I said naturals sometimes those clear sets, but some guy tries to fight you and a natural will step up Even if he's a short natural he will step up go out with the guys They're loyal to you because then you don't have this idea in the back of my head that Oh, I don't want to approach that side because that guy might fight me If you know your guys always have your back, that's just one more excuse in the back of your head. That's not valid That's how you pick your wingman last thing brutally honest They must be brutally honest Do not go out with guys that are going to coddle you because it will hold you back Go what with guys that are going to tell you you look like shit today go change Go what with guys that will be brutally honest with you in the marines. They don't hold anything back Your bunkmate will tell you if he thinks you're ugly He will just be flat out. Ah, you're a really good shot. But man, you are ugly He'd just be straight out with you And you know why that's so refreshing because you never have to wonder If he's talking crap about you behind your back because he's doing it to your face So you never have to wonder oh wonder if he's stabbing no, he doesn't stab you in the back He just throws everything out there That's the best kind of wing you can have because you never have to second guess that guy He's always right up front with you Your wingman and the people that you surround yourself extremely important to your developments Lastly logistics Remember that sometimes you're not going to have good logistics A wing can help you not only manage the logistics manage the other people in the group Which means he has to be a good wingman And if he doesn't know how and you guys got to learn that And you have to learn this together he can handle those logistics When I'm when I was training in 2006 2007 I lived a hundred miles away from wherever I was going out That makes logistics really hard for a poll because a hundred miles is something that no girl is going to sit in your car for But you know what I had a wingman who lived five blocks away Women can help you with logistics a lot of the problems a lot of the issues that I see guys come up with Are things that are very easily solvable, but you have to think you got to think outside the box All right, let's talk about the greatest tactical skill That you can have with women This is one of the things again blind spot Nobody teaches this Old school guys remember the venusian arts handbook Remember that old school book remember the original dvd series that mystery put out Remember the old school jugglery book remember all dyd None of those ever taught you humor at best. They taught you how to be cocky and blow yourself out At worst they just glossed over it and expected you to know it Unfortunately, this right here is your greatest tool It is your greatest tactic And it really defines why some guys skyrocket ahead of the pack I remember being in san diego and going out. We're all newbies We all didn't know what the hell we were doing and consistently one guy in our group kept annihilating all of us He kept getting results that we were like, we just started. How are you getting those results? How is that happening that guy is that guy in the room in the in the back with the green? That's robbie Robbie's the funniest guy I know That humor let him accelerate past all of us Because it is extremely important Remember that if you don't have a sense of humor, I didn't have a sense of humor growing up I was taught that children should be seen not heard. I was taught not to speak up. Don't rock the boat I had that conservative asian family And some of you guys have had that exact same upbringing If you don't have a sense of humor, then learn it And I know you're like, well, Fuji, how do I learn it? Think outside the box. I didn't have a tool. I didn't have a a dvd that taught me humor I had to think outside the box with humor. This is your greatest social lubricant This is what allows everything to happen. This is what enables you to escalate your sets I never could feel could figure out how to kino smoothly because I never had that humor And you know what if you're talking to a girl and you're just talking about oh the weather's really cool Yeah, it's it's hot today. I know it's it's really um Yeah, I don't I don't really like it here. That's that's weird. That's what that is She feels it. You feel it. There's not even a girl here. You still feel it. That's and we've all been there But if she's laughing When I say this all of a sudden it's okay If she's laughing when I escalate all of a sudden it's okay It's a social lubricant Make sure that you learn it It makes people like you Amogs guys groups obstacles Humor will make people like you which is why if you don't have that you better be rich You better be famous. You better have something else going for you because it won't work otherwise Humor allows you to control interactions The person in the group generally who's providing the most emotional value i.e. humor or being interesting Charismatic essentially they all come back to humor That person is who controls the interaction Therefore if you don't have that it's really hard to control the interaction Some guy comes into your set and he's making everyone laugh and you start talking about the weather and hope that they're going to pay attention to you That's not going to happen You better be funny to that guy or he's going to take your set damage control When you are in that set and she's like ah, I'm done I'm over it And you know it's going down the tubes You're in damage control. How do you get out of that humor? Again, I didn't have these tools and that's exactly why all these things were so hard for me Because I didn't have that How do you learn it? Let's explore some ideas Unfortunately, there's no quick fix There's no buy my dvd and you will instantly learn it Because even if I did make that it wouldn't work because you can't learn it that quickly But here's what I did to learn it the first is I studied and I watched comedy I read the books on stand-up comedy I watched a thousand hours of stand-up comedy. I watched every comic out there over and over and over again I went up to the club some nights and all I did is rehearse scripted comedy I just memorized comedy routines By guys that did it professionally on stage I just ripped their stuff off went into the field and just used it not because I was picking people up Because if I didn't have this this tool this skill set Then all those other things we just talked about wouldn't happen So I went out and I practiced it. I got on stage open mics and I practiced it and I bombed but I practiced it Most guys aren't willing to do that Most guys don't sit at home and say what do I have to do to make this happen? What do I have to do to get the skill sets necessary to make me successful? These are the things you need to do Performing on stage both speaking at toast masters And both doing comedy Making sure that you're always practicing this being around guys that are funny Being around guys that have that sense of humor. I'll tell you right now probably 30 40 of my humor comes from rabbi Because you hang out with a guy like that often enough you laugh often enough you start to pick up suddenly the structures that's happening We've all heard that's what she said right pretty simple structure You kind of know how that works Some guys like man, it was really big and then like douchebag Tim over here is like, yo, that's what she said We all know how that works It only takes two or three times for us to pick up that pattern Humor is all a series of patterns. You just have to learn them There's a hundred two hundred patterns. You learn those patterns. You're able to implement them and you're funny That's all that is and if you go to stand on comedy You'll realize you see the same pattern over and over and over again Chris rock for example His humor is almost always exaggeration It's almost always taking a thing and exaggerating to the point where now it's funny That's a structure that he uses learn those structures I read the books. I did all those things. I did these drills I went through over and over I just drilled those structures over and over And you know what I wasn't funny a lot and I weirded a lot of people out there But that was the sacrifice that I was willing to make to make this happen Let's talk about this friend zone This is how it usually works Right if you have ever been in the friend zone Pre-community or even in a set. That's exactly what it looks like and if any of you remember mario, he can't jump that high Unless you hack that game. He's gonna fall in that pit right there. That's how that friend zone works Here's how to fix it flirting Again blind spot flirting is never discussed in books in products in dvds and CDs Every once in a while someone will mention the term and then we'll tell you how to do it Let's be like you just got a flirt. It's just it's really easy just flirt with a girl and and be yourself and be confident too That's what it says and I read it. I'm like that's genius That's so good And then I remember what it was like six years ago and I'm like no that sucks Because the guy reading that is me six years ago and he doesn't know how to do it So telling him to just flirt Is like telling a blind guy to just see come on Let's throw away the cane just see just open your eyes man. Come on doesn't help that guy And would not have helped me either. That's how we do it The prerequisite to flirting is social comfort What that means is that you have to be more comfortable in that interaction than her If you're not then you're not going to be able to flirt with her Because you're always going to be the one fidgeting you're always going to be the one that's showing her That you're not comfortable That baseline level of comfort has to be there that that doesn't mean you need to exchange childhood stories But you have to be comfortable with each other if you're not comfortable talking to people Then forget this remember we talked about advice if you're not comfortable just walking up to people having a regular conversation Then don't even look at the slide Write down in your notes go out and talk to 20 people a day for the next six months That's what someone told me And it was exactly what I needed to hear Remember this those rules apply to me as well They apply to this as well if this doesn't apply to you then go out and talk to people But that's what you need in order to make this happen Flirting is a vibe. It's not a technique. That's why you can flirt without saying anything You couldn't even describe the technique if you tried imagine trying to describe Riding a bike How do you ride a bike put it in an e-book for me? I'm six years old. I want to learn how to ride a bike put an e-book together There's no books on that, right? That'd be a genius marketing thing Those of you guys are like good writers stuff You should write a book on how to ride a bike because parents would would buy that and they give it to their kids Why doesn't that exist? Because that book would be like 10 000 pages long It's say when you feel your equilibrium shift three degrees to the left turn the bike handles seven degrees to the left To compensate then shift your body weight four pounds to the right Do you think a six? How do you think a 60 year old can do that? Can any of us do that? No, that's how humor works. That's how flirting works You have to be able to practice it and that is the vibe Now I know what you guys are thinking because if I was in your spot, which I was I'd be looking at the guy with the mohawk and I'd be saying oh fuji have vibe. That's that's cool That's that's really good. That doesn't fucking help me. What is the vibe? Here's how we do it a I'll just be straight up honest hang out with black guys Hang out with black guys because they have no shame in flirting They'll flirt with anything or hang out with guys that have the similar characteristics Robbie has no shame in flirting. He'll flirt with a lamppost He'll flirt with anything. It doesn't matter He'll flirt with like my grandmother. He'll flirt with like anyone. It doesn't even have to have a vagina. He'll flirt with it You know what you get really good at flirting when you hang out with a guy like that Really good and you stop being afraid of it. You stop being ashamed of it That's what I mean by the vibe and I you know, honestly, I wish I could put it into a system I wish I could this is why nobody talks about it Because it's hard because most guys would stand on stage and be like, yeah, flirt it. You just got to do it Yeah, all right next slide Because it's hard. It's not something you can put into a structure But if you want to learn it if you want to be successful you have to do these things So the vibe you hang out with guys that are good at it You make the eye contact and the smile That's a key key thing. I'm flirting. Those are prerequisites. You can't make eye contact. You can't smile. You will not flirt with her Nobody flirts like this It just doesn't happen. I don't care who you are. Maybe Brad Pitt that will not work. You can't flirt like that It's almost always some form of smile and eye contact Those are just the absolute prerequisites gents. It's not going to make you automatically good at it But it will put you in the ballpark So make sure you're comfortable with that because if you have shifty eyes No amount of technique is going to help you with that The dance The dance is this courtship dance this back and forth the ebb and the flow of your interactions That's how flirting works Flirting if you think about if you actually look up the different the dictionary definition of flirting flirting is described It's defined as to coquette To act amorously without serious intent In other words flirting is to show interest But not be serious about it flirting in essence is push pull flirting in essence is Let me go back flirting in essence is showing interest and then kind of taking it away or being ambiguous with it Okay, so I talked a lot about this yesterday Flirting is that process that dance that you go back and forth Don't notice any dance in the world is never always me pushing. It's always going forward and going back That's how flirting works. It's the ebb and the flow So when you're out there you make strong eye contact you smile at her Use the lines that site gave you to practice this In your head look at her the same way the guy in the cover of the romance novel looks at you Just emulate that straight up just emulate it You know what it's going to weird a lot of people out at first The first 20 people you do that are going to be like, why are you staring at me? But you know what that's a sacrifice you got to be willing to make Because if you don't you're like, I don't want to weird 20 people out I'll just never get good at this. I'll always suck at this Because I don't want to weird 20 people out that I'll never see again You've got to be willing to make those sacrifices Okay, because flirting is so hard because flirting is its own subject its own topic It's its own entire lecture that I teach in my long-term program. Here's what I want you guys to do Send a text dj fuji no quotes send it to five zero five zero zero You will get back a link and this applies to you guys at home. Send a text dj fuji five zero five zero zero It will give you a link to download my entire course on flirting I don't have time on stage unfortunately to go really in depth into it But that will and that will help you guys and if you have questions feel free to email them. Good to go Good to go. Yeah. All right Critical thinking and devil's advocate. This is a big thing that I've been harping on a lot lately Because it seems no one in the community has ever taken a critical thinking class What I mean by this if you look at this the sky is filled with nose the scenery is filled with nose But if you want to see a yes, you're going to see a yes You'll find a yes among those nose like that guy did That doesn't mean the yes is there that means you are looking for it. How many of us have ever bought a car show a hence You guys just not drive. We're off from new york The rest of you guys just never bought a car. Okay. Well, maybe we're all privileged and our parents give us a car All right, let's say we acquire a car in some form or fashion How many of us suddenly realize that that car is on the road a lot now All of a sudden whatever car we're driving is everywhere It's like why is everybody driving the blue corolla? Or whatever car you're driving. It's because whatever you focus on you'll see And whatever you believe you'll find evidence for Remember that what that also means is that you got to be enable your critical thinking Otherwise, you're going to believe things that aren't true You're going to believe things that are going to hold you back You're going to believe negative things about yourself If you think you're unattractive, I don't care who you are. You'll believe it. You'll find evidence for it You could be brad pit like I said last year And if he thinks he's unattractive, he will find evidence for it I guarantee you there's websites on the internet about how ugly brad pit is. I guarantee you they're out there If brad pit really thought he was unattractive then he would see those websites He would go to them He would google brad pit ugly and he would find those and he'd be like man. I'm ugly. I have no shot I'm just look at the website. It's bradpitugly.com. It's out there. I'm ugly. I have no shot You will find evidence for whatever you believe in You have to be able to think critically to identify where the truth is Because there's a lot of things that will lead you astray. The first thing here Is why do we care? Why do we care about playing devil's advocates? Why do we care about going through that? Because if you don't you're going to believe those things There's something called confirmation bias. It means that whatever you believe You'll filter everything that you see to support it If you believe that the sky is blue Then you'll see everything that supports the sky is blue If you believe that the sky is red Then all you'll see is evidence for the sky being red In pickup if you believe you're an attractive if you believe you're attractive if you believe anything Then you'll just find evidence for it So the first thing you have to do is question your assumptions. You have to question what you do believe And you have to question is that correct in the first place You can't just search for evidence that'll support that because right now with the internet Or before the internet with the bible you could find evidence for anything you wanted to prove Because there's there's evidence for anything out there feminism misogyny psychics How do you think sham psychics work the palm raiders? How do you think the psychics work because they tell you 10 things about you nine of them are wrong But you don't hear those if you think he's psychic then you'll latch on to that one thing. He got right And the other nine things he got wrong You'll just dismiss that you'll be like man that guy is amazing He knew what my favorite color was How did he know that like well, he got it wrong nine times. Oh, no, no, but he knew he knew like that was the time You will find evidence for it. That's how psychics work And if you look at a lot of preconceived notions like feminism like misogy of the men's rights movements I have nothing against those movements The problem though is if you have that preconceived notion Then everything that you think you read you see is going to be filtered through that If you guys ever read press on pickup If you read just the general press out there on pickup You'll notice that the press is entirely defined on what their preconceived notions are It's entirely filtered through whatever agenda that person is if you follow politics. That's no surprise to you But most of us in pickup don't realize that applies both ways Which also means you are doing the same thing. You're filtering everything that comes in through this preconceived notion There's a lot of guys that come to me saying fuji now i'm asian, you know I don't think i'm attractive There's all these studies being done that you know show asian men are less attractive To women in western society than other than other ethnicities Now all I see are these things I go out to clubs girls don't like me all these things That's because you're filtering that You're not filtering the guy in the club who's attractive You're not filtering the fact that rain turned down megan fox because she asked him out on the date You don't see that you don't see that because you're not focusing on it because you're filtering it What that also means if you guys follow some of these movements Again, there's nothing wrong with that, but if you follow them beware of the confirmation bias Because if you follow say the men's rights movements, let's take that for example. Who's familiar with the men's rights movements? Couple you guys, right? So it's this this Reaction to feminism. Oh the feminist they're always trying to hate men. We're going to be the men's rights movements Now we're not going to hate women, but we're going to support men's rights The problem is that if you actually read a lot of stuff you can tell it's being filtered It's being filtered through an I hate women filter So everything that they say Has this tinge of I hate women behind it that's going to help you and pick up You follow that if you follow those things and you don't think critically you don't play devil's advocate Then you're only seeing one half of the story You're not seeing the other half and you're going to go through life believing one thing is true It's like believing one guy's story and never following up with the other side You've got to see both sides whenever someone claims something what I want you guys to do is always play devil's advocate always ask yourself What's the other side to this story? So I can I do that all the time we're always arguing about pickup stuff. Well, what if you had three arms then what? Does that advice so fujia? I don't know that rule may not We're always playing devil's advocate because that's how we stop this whole idea this whole thing Of not of letting those filters affect what we're thinking And I challenge all of you guys to do the same Correlation does not imply causation. Who's ever heard that before? Who doesn't get what that means at all? okay correlation means a Is loosely associated with b? causation means a Causes b let me give you guys a quick example because I hear this every day. I heard this yesterday from some of you guys You said oh, I used an opener. I used an opinion opener. I said stop using opinion numbers No, no, but I used it and I made out with the girl once it works So let me get this straight So you probably use this 300 times and it failed 299 times, but the one time it works Means that that technique is really valid, right? Oh wait, yeah, no Those are all things we've thought Because if you think opinion openers really really work Then you'll find all the evidence you need for why they work and you'll ignore The overwhelming evidence when it didn't work. I'm not saying they do or they don't work What I am saying is question everything because there's a lot of things that are correlation not causation For example, let's say I hook a set. Let's say every time I hook a sets. It's because I'm wearing boxers and not briefs Therefore boxers make you hook sets Can we see the flaw in that? Does anybody not see the flaw in that? We all kind of realize no no no the boxers have nothing to do with you hooking the set That's correlation And there's a lot of things in pickup where you let correlation Determine your conclusions and you'll say man this technique works. I used it once and it really works Now say what happens the other 100 times you say well, it didn't work that time, but it worked at one time Think gentlemen critically think play devil's advocate. Look at both sides Because otherwise you're going to go down a path doing one thing that's going to hurt you over and over and over again Because you're not thinking critically Because you're not examining you're not playing devil's advocate and going the other direction saying well, what about the other times? That's what that correlation and causation is Last year in 2010 I talked about the asian unattractive reframe. That's a really hard reframe That took me like an hour to figure out There's a lot of studies for the guys that don't know there's a lot of studies like scientific studies that show That in western society That an asian guy has to make 250 thousand dollars more than a white guy to be seen By non asian women as equal in attractiveness Quarter million dollars more we got to make just to be equal playing field If you're an asian guy, that's really depressive. That's like oh, fuck What why are we even why don't we just go back to asia? Just go back at least we have some shot there until the white guy show up then then we're fucked But we'll just go back if you're asian. That's what you think there's you guys watching know exactly what you think Because that's correlation and as many studies has been done to show that and if you google it you'll see it everywhere It's on my website. Even I've linked it But you know what it's correlation. It's not even causation If you really get down to it, it's not causation. It's not asian equals unattractive it's asian equals Certain cultural stereotypes certain cultural things that we do and some of those things are unattractive Because if it really was asian equals unattractive then you couldn't have attractive asian guys this wouldn't exist But again if you believe in your head that oh, this is how it works And you don't question that thing you don't question that causation that correlation you'll forever believe that And that will hurt your game Those types of beliefs will hurt your game almost every negative belief I've ever heard from a student from myself from everyone is almost always a question of correlation It's almost always a problem that they haven't thought through Think about these things gentlemen. Give you guys a quick example If you look at my facebook, there's a student and he said I wrote a quote and I said pick up is a lot like the fitness industry It's a lot like the industry the two industries are a lot similar Because most people can't stomach it most people aren't willing to do what it takes to get the results You go to the gym and you can see it plain as day that huge fat guy at the gym Even if he's there He's always doing the same thing. He's just like oh, I'll just walk on the treadmill He's never doing high-intensity stuff. He's never pushing himself Unless he's that one guy who eventually will become skinny, but the other 999 guys won't Most people can't stomach it most people aren't willing to do what it takes So I wrote this quote on facebook and someone said Would you it's different though? It's different because you know in pickup, you know, you don't get results a lot of times You know like you approach 90 sets and you get blown out of 90 sets Well, the 91st set is worthless because you know as as Einstein said insanity means that you do the same thing over and expect different results I'm going to get blown out of the 91st set. That's why I don't do pickup That's why this will never work with me and a lot of guys read that and we're like, oh, yeah, that makes sense Because it does superficially I'm sure we've all thought that at some point We look that we're like, yeah 90 times doing one thing. It doesn't work. Then why would it work the 91st time? Because that's just the same thing, right? Why are we just banging our heads against that wall? We've all thought that at some point until you think critically Until you realize that each time you do it the same variables aren't in place Because you get better from try number one from try number nine to try number 90 It's not the same variables things are changing along the way If it was the same variables and you get the same results You start changing the variables up like you getting better and you will get better It might not be that 91st set. It might be 191st set, but eventually you'll get better That's what I mean about blind spots. That's what I mean about critical thinking most people aren't willing to do that Every day I hear that from students. I hear things like that And a lot of the negative beliefs a lot of the things that are holding you guys back Have everything to do with this right here with this critical thinking Let's move on the best investment that you guys can make Across the board is always you And there's something that took me a long time to figure out It's something that for the first two years of my development And anyway, any of you guys have ever seen me speak before I talk about this the first two years I refuse to invest in myself because I bought into societal hype I bought into society's idea of well, you know, pick up your loser. So You should do pick up and I was like, uh, I'll still do pick up But I won't be a loser like those guys, you know, who are like really taking it seriously Because I don't need that. I don't need that. I just be myself I bought into a lot of that hype part of that hype Means if you invest in something like this in getting better, then you got to admit to yourself Then you're not where you want to be Society doesn't like that too much It doesn't like that idea, especially with what we're trying to do And I fell into that I didn't invest in myself and it wasn't until I had mentors You said fuji, you have to invest in yourself You invest in stocks and bonds and all these other things, but you are unwilling to invest in yourself How many years have you been wearing contacts fuji? You've been wearing contacts for 10 years Why don't you get lazy because you don't want to invest in yourself You don't want to do what's necessary to make things better There's always a reason why you don't want to invest in yourself And it's sometimes it's money sometimes it's time But that hit home and I started doing it and I started realizing the r y who knows what r y is Someone tell me someone yell at what's r y Okay, what's your r y when you invest in yourself? It's your whole life And I'm not talking about just about pickup stuff. I'm talking about everything when you invest in yourself Especially skill based that return is your entire life. I don't understand why people don't learn new languages Because you have your whole life to use that Why you don't learn goal setting? I'll teach my kids goal setting at age three because they're a whole life. They're going to use that It's not something they're going to use from three to five and then forget Everything that's going to benefit you your entire life. Why wouldn't you learn that? Why wouldn't you invest in that? Most of us don't do that When you do that's when things start happening Investing in yourself is all about collecting small edges It's not one giant like oh, I'll take this hundred thousand dollar course and everything would change. It's not about that It's little edges that we collect along the way. It's little things. Let's just take pickup for an example investing in yourself means having good fashion Most people don't want to do that They don't want to spend over a hundred dollars for a pair of jeans because walmart's got jeans for twenty dollars It's not worth the extra eighty hundred eighty however much Most guys aren't willing to do that Your appearance is the easiest thing to fix. It's just so easy to fix that You don't really have to do anything. You just got to have good fashion buy clothes Hire a freaking person to help you shop bring a girl to help you shop But so many workshops I teach I see guys coming in we're on close from the 80s. Why? Because you're not willing to invest in yourself invest in your appearance invest in your skill set invest in hobbies invest in things that you want to do invest in a career invest in things that are going to allow you to do things into the future all of these things are those little edges Okay, your appearance like I said easiest thing in the world to do something as simple as we'll take photography A lot of guys do online who a lot of people do online dating who your show hands has done online dating before It's good. It's really good and it's a great tool to use But most guys have never hired a photographer to take a professional photo of them. Most guys Don't want to make that investment. Oh, it's a lot of money food you photography You know that guy might charge me a hundred dollars to take one picture. I can take that When you look at the studies they actually show professional photography makes you look more attractive over the long haul Over a gigantic study on average then a point and shoot and even more than a camera phone But yet day in and day out guys like oh, it's too expensive. I don't want to put the 100 I don't want to not go out to eat twice So I can afford the 80 or 100 dollars To get a professional photographer to take a headshot to take a picture of me Guys are unwilling to invest and that's why most guys will not advance above the pack Remember average is right here. It's like the pyramid right if you want to be above average If you want to be the best at the top you got to ask yourself Are you willing to do what it takes to get to the top because if you look around at everyone next to you And you say i'm doing about what he's doing I'm doing maybe a little bit more than him and not as much as him then where are you your average That's exactly where you are if you want to get to the top then you got to look around and say i'm way more than him I'm doing 10 times more than him. I'm doing 80 times more than him. There's no one in this room That's doing more than I am right now That's how I know a guy will get to the top because that's what his mindset is That's what he's doing But if you look around and you're doing the same thing as everyone else Then you will end up at the same place as everyone else average And if that's your goal, there's nothing wrong with that, but most of you guys don't have that goal All right Classes training coaching and learning again investing This could be pickup. This could be photography. This could be anything The things that you want to learn the things that you want to get better at The things the skills that you want to acquire If you don't want to take an excessively long time to do it Then invest in yourself I bought a camera and altogether cameras about $2,000. I like wanted to get into photography I really wanted to get into that hobby and the first thing I did is I hired a coach to teach me Because like I told some of you guys I have no pictures from the Marines Four years of active duty service four years of inactive duty and I have zero pictures My kids my grandkids one day will ask me. Hey, what was your time like in the Marines grandpa? What was that like? Can you show me pictures? You put it on like the 3d screens we have everywhere and I'll say I don't have any pictures none you know why Because I was too cheap to buy a $200 camera So I have no memories from that That's one of my big regrets. I have no pictures from that entire time I spent in the Marines Because I was too cheap to just put $200 and invest in what I it's what's going to happen in the future So now now that I've learned that lesson I bought that camera and the first thing I did is I said I'm going to have a coach teach me how to use that camera Because the pictures that I take knowing how to use that camera If I can't take those because I'm not good enough. I'll never get them back I can never go back in time and take those pictures If I have a kid and I don't take pictures of him when he's born I can't go back in time and take those pictures. Oh, I'm good at photography now. Let me go back and take those pictures You can't do it I've realized Especially over the last few years that you must invest in yourself always I will invest in myself before I invest in anything else Because the return is huge Because everything that happens in my life is going to be influenced by those investments right here Things like in pickup things like dancing sports cooking Take a cooking class I can't count the number of times when a guy says, hey, uh, what do I do for day twos? Cook for her I don't know how to cook then take a class Cook something together Those skills are useful Dancing most guys don't know how to dance at all And their solution is just stay off the dance floor. Take a class learn to dance I had a dancing instructor for like a year because I got tired of not being able to pick up on the dance floor If you can't do that then invest in yourself. Don't just just oh, I just you know, I'll just stay away from that You want to get good at something then you must invest in yourself One of my mentors James Malinck. He said something to me that really resonated He said the biggest wealth attraction mistake is not investing any good mentor And this is a guy that's built an empire. He's about millions and millions of dollars He's done. He's gone from that rags to riches story And he references a lot of his mentors and a lot of the things that allowed him to get there And every time I say, you know, I want to do something I want to get good at something the first thing I do is I find a mentor sometimes that's a paid coach Sometimes that's not sometimes just someone I know a colleague someone is willing to take me under their wing But the first thing I do is find a mentor and I invest in myself What I want you guys to do So I want you guys to brainstorm how you're going to invest in yourself figure out what you want to do What you want to get good at and start brainstorming start thinking about those things because if you're serious about getting good That's what it's going to take Always always always be investing in yourself sometimes it may not pay off I've been to a $200 dinner that was a benefit dinner that maybe I thought could network sometimes that doesn't pay off I went to that dinner and it didn't would I go to that dinner again? You're absolutely right Because what if the second time at that dinner? I'm sitting down next to bill gates What if the second time at that dinner I'm sitting down next to a guy who's going to make me a million dollars? You don't know But I'm going to put myself in that environment because I know those guys are out there And sure you can see in the short term. Oh, if we just $200 that's a dinner. Why did you waste that money? Why did you spend that money? You didn't even make any networking contacts that mattered Maybe not in the short term But all it takes is one All it takes is one contact to make you a million dollars and that makes up for a lot of $200 dinners There's a lot of things in the things that we want to get good at There's a lot of aspects where we're not investing in ourselves because we don't have that mentality Think about that a lot of you guys invest money in stocks a lot of you guys invest time in things in activities But think about the things that you want to get good at That you want to actually excel at and start investing in yourself. That makes sense All right, let's talk about dhvs They're a flawed concept first and foremost. Okay now dhvs demonstration of higher value Okay is a concept that we came out with long long time ago and the general idea is that you have to impress girls That's really it's a sophisticated version of impressing girls showing high value all that stuff. It's impressing people That by itself is what makes that the flawed concept, but we're going to get a little bit deeper Okay, when I refer to the dhv what i'm really talking about is this idea of throwing in little things To show people how cool you are or how high value you are The problem is that it's presupposes that you are automatically low value. You're automatically a loser Bill gates doesn't have to come up to you and say hey, I'm bill gates. I'm rich He doesn't have to you already know who he is. He doesn't have to tell you how rich he is He doesn't come in thinking. Oh, I'm they think I'm really poor. I suck. I gotta show them how rich I am He doesn't think that successful people don't think that attractive people don't think that The presupposition here is that you are already lower than the people you're talking to Is that going to help you longer? Absolutely not because you keep presupposing that you're going to believe it Even if it's delusional at first The dhv concept is unattractive Regardless of if it's true or not regardless even if it works or not Even if it does work in some of those sets, it's still unattractive behavior And who does unattractive behavior the unattractive guy If we go deeper into this Into dhv I did a lot of case studies into this And the thing with the the dhv is the first thing is that it causes you to start micromanaging this idea of your value your power A lot. Oh, I don't want to lower my value The problem is that the dhv is designed to raise your social value In other words, how you're seen in the immediate vicinity How do people actually take that they say oh, I want to raise my value not social value my value my self-worth Most of the time people aren't doing this correctly Most of the time people are seeing this as I got to start managing value because I got to be higher value than her So I got to put her value down and raise my value up so she can be attracted to me Even if that worked which it doesn't but even if that worked All it would do is put you in field in your head thinking about how you can manipulate value up and down You'll notice naturals every time you talk about high value. They're like what? What the fuck are you talking about? Why are you to stop talking about value? That's retarded just go make her laugh Let's go up and just start talking about stuff. That's what naturals will tell you because they don't micromanage value Neither does anybody who's good Nobody does that the only guy who micromanages value is the amateur So stop doing that Here's the thing. Here's a problem with implied dh fees Most of us know dh fees is like I will tell a story and in that story are little embedded things That show us to be attractive. Oh, yeah, I just picked up, you know, my ex-girlfriend or she picked me up from the airport And she's a stripper. She picked me up in a Lamborghini and I was like, why are you in a Lamborghini? She's like, oh, because I just want a modeling contest and they allowed me to drive the car off And I was like, wow, did you get breast implants too? And she's like, yeah, but you know, I was thinking about having a three something It's not working It's not working. Even if you had really great delivery online, it's not working. That doesn't work The problem is it's too hard to be subtle. The first thing It's way too hard. 99% of guys can't be subtle enough If the only way to dhv effectively if you're actually going to do it is to do it so subtly that nobody notices Literally, nobody notices at all If you told it to your wing, he'd be like, that's not a dhv story. That's a regular story That's the kind of subtlety that it takes But the bigger problem is that nobody actually believes you Because when you're coming in and you're wearing jeans from the 80s and you're like overweight And you're like have glasses on and you can't make eye contact. You're like, yeah, my stripper 10 ex-girlfriend. She's she's really hot She's picking me up from the airport What do you think the people on the other end of that conversation think? He's lying. It's not true It's like when a homeless guy is like, hey, do you have spare change? I'm really rich though. I'm not really homeless Like I'm really rich. I just I need change for like the gas. I forgot my wallet. You don't believe him They know you're lying. It's really obvious It's blatant if it's obvious to us. It's extremely obvious to girls You are blatantly lying and nobody's falling for that. The other problem is that if you're not lying, then you're bragging One of the weird things I found about this idea of pre-selection Pre-selection is works. Don't don't get me wrong. It does work You roll into a bar and you have three hot girls with you Everyone looks at you. It does work. The problem is that most of us try to trigger pre-selection by telling a story about it Here's the problem with that by trying to show through a story like oh, yeah, I'm surrounding by girls and everything Or I'm high value whatever Is the girl thinks one of two things She either looks at you and is like that story. There's not that up to you. You're lying There's no way you actually did that. You're lying or She does believe it because you are look you have your look together You're confident everything else and she's like, okay. I believe that. Why are you bragging to me? I don't need to know that if bill gates came up and talked to you about his lamborghini And he came out and he tried to be really subtle about his lamborghini Yeah, man. I had to work on my car today. You know just I take into the shop You're like, what car is it? He's like, oh, it's a lamborghini Even if he's being kind of subtle you're still like this guy's an asshole. You just keep talking about his money He's being subtle about it too. He's dhv But because he's bill gates and because you already know he's rich then when he brings it up He's just a jackass. He'd be better off telling you man, you know, like sometimes, you know, like I remember what it was like You know when when just just absolute despair, you know, like when this on the startups And that's why I help other startups get started because I remember those ramen eating days We just have no money to actually eat food. He'd be better off telling you about his trouble with money He'd be better off with that one of the weird experiments that I did with dhv stories Is one day remember last night we talked about questioning your assumptions talked about critical thinking I started thinking about dhv stories and I was like, I don't think these actually work the way we think they are Because I've been trying it out and I've been getting weird results So I tried to do as close as I could to an actual controlled study So I went out and a hundred times. I told a dhv story And I got a good result most of the time like 80 percent of the time, right Then I took the story and I took all the dhv's out of it. So just a regular story No dhv's doesn't say anything good about me. I told the exact same story. I got the exact same result I was like, that's weird. What's supposed to make this happen? What's supposed to make this work is those dhv's Why am I getting the exact same results? And I said, okay, let me test this again. Let's throw in the placebo So then I told the exact same stories But instead of putting in the dhv's and say taking them out I put dlv's in I put times when I was like broke and like I couldn't afford stuff and how like I couldn't get with girls and Like I was just really lonely growing up. I just threw as many dhv's as possible into that story I was like, okay, here's at least we're gonna see and when I throw this in there It's gonna bomb and I'm gonna be like, okay, you don't want to throw in dhv's But you don't want to throw in dlv's either. You just want to tell a cool story Now when I tried that a hundred times and it worked better I was like, what? No, no, there's no way this could work. I tried it another hundred times. It worked better. I was like, why does this work better? It shouldn't be this way. Why does this happen this way? And I tried to figure out what was causing that I tried to isolate the variables that are causing that Here's what I came up with again. This is a theory Critical thinking this is a theory doesn't mean it's right. This is my analysis of what's going on Because I'm telling that now and I already know how to tell a story. I already know the body language I already have the look down. I have those things. She already believes those things about me when I dhv I'm bragging And she's like, uh, he's kind of a douche When I don't do anything Then it's neutral When I dlv I'm humble That's I think why it's working In either case what we do know the conclusion that we do know for a fact is that the dhv's are not what we think They are they're not actually causing that attraction More likely it's the delivery in your story Because you tell a good story you take the dhv's out And that's the only thing that's working for you and it still works Again gentlemen blind spots this idea of all of these things that we think are true that aren't I see so many guys Trying to dhv thinking they're going to impress people and it bombs in your face Because it doesn't actually work under scrutiny. It doesn't hold up It's like the world is flat theory as soon as you test it it blows up. It's not true start questioning your assumptions Now let's talk about this idea of being alpha This is another thing that a lot of guys I see a lot of guys. Oh, I gotta be alpha He was reading on the message boards I gotta be alpha one guy actually wrote this and it was on someone's facebook And he said man, some guy came up to me the other day and like I stepped on his toes And then I looked at him and I was like what what are you gonna do about that? I was being alpha Said no, you're not you're about to get your ass kicked bad That's not alpha Most people don't understand this idea of alpha This whole concept is just completely misconstrued This idea of what alpha is is not what you think it is in your head. It's not what the e-books say it is That's why so many guys have a problem with this The idea is confidence not alpha at least the alpha that we're thinking about In our head alpha is like Conan Guy who just like kills people like doesn't take crap from people. He's alpha, right? He's big. He's buff. He pushes people around. He's alpha. That's not the way alpha really works And in that definition of alpha, you're actually looking more for confidence than you are alpha Someone said something to me about the difference between confidence and arrogance He said that confidence is knowing you can do something Arrogance is trying to prove to everyone else that you can do it That's the same thing here That's the same definition between this idea of alpha and this idea of confidence Alpha is not emotional and reactive if you really want to get down to it You just look at it from the animal kingdom the alpha guy the alpha animal Is the lion in the back who just sits there and people respect him He's not the lion who's trying to kill everyone to show everyone how alpha he is That's not the alpha. That's the guy who's trying to be alpha And it's a much much bigger difference You don't want to be that guy who's trying to like shove everyone on trying to show or how alpha you are That's not alpha. That's you pretending And everybody knows that Everyone knows you're the guy who's overcompensating The alpha guy is the relaxed guy He's the guy if your guys ever met hypnotica. That's a big dude He like plays wolverine right now at comic con like literally right now And every year he shows up and he's got giant claws and he's he looks like wolverine He's a big dude. I didn't interview with him. I look like two feet tall next to him You can see it like i'm sitting next to the couch and there's just he's taking up like the whole frame in the dvd If you ever talk to hypnotica that guy's the most peaceful guy you'll ever meet He doesn't try to assert his dominance on you. He doesn't push you He doesn't even do the amok tactics where he like puts his arm around no He doesn't need to he's hypnotica. He's wolverine. He doesn't need to show you Bravo. We all saw him on stage. I think we can all agree He can probably kick all of our asses collectively Does he ever push people around do you ever see bravo like trying to out alpha guys? No, man. That's the whole work. Yeah, I saw how it works Do you ever see him trying to assert his dominance over guys? Coaches or students or otherwise even in his regular life Do you ever see examples of him trying to assert his dominance? No, he doesn't have to He's taught the cia the fbi. He doesn't have to show some guy random guy on the street how tough he is You see ufc fighter just on a regular basis going to bars just getting into fights No, they don't have to their ufc fighters. They do that in the ring. That's their job When you try to prove to people how alpha you are that automatically makes you not alpha Alpha is the guy who doesn't care about that. He's cool with it He's the guy that's okay to walk away from the confrontation because he has nothing to prove to those people He's not the guy. He's not the tupac who's always trying to show how tough he is He doesn't need to So this idea of alpha that you guys have changed that around you don't want to be alpha. You want to be confident You want to be the guy who doesn't need to prove those things When you start doing that all of a sudden everyone around you starts to relax Because you're not that little fucking small guy with a chip on his shoulder He's always trying to like run around trying to prove himself. You don't want to be that guy Especially not if you're short because I'm just worse all right With when it comes to dating when it comes to being attractive Men are alpha like women are hot How many women are hot When you think about it think of the broad spectrum a very small cross-section of the women are hot A very small cross-section of the men are alpha Everyone else is trying to do what pretend like they're hot Pretend like they're alpha everyone else is trying to pretend don't be that guy who's trying to pretend be that guy who is Because everyone knows when you're trying to pretend the true alpha the true hot girl doesn't need to prove it It's unnecessary Finally the knowledge paradox. This is a key thing Most guys study way too much and I know you guys have heard that I know you guys have heard the guru speak and say stop reading stop reading so much material This is why though. Let's really get into it knowledge is to skill as food is to healthy You need some knowledge to acquire skill just like you need some food to be healthy What happens when you eat too much food? You're not healthy. You're fat. What happens when you take in too much knowledge? You're not skillful. You're a keyboard jockeying. That's how that works That's exactly how that works. There's a definite limit to that You can't exceed that or everything just blows up. You just you're a knowledgeable fat guy. That's how that works When the amount of knowledge exceeds your ability to utilize it, it's wasted That's how you got to look at knowledge. That's how you have to look at information When in doubts implement first Then get the information because the information will be much more useful to you Would you rather take a test first? and then Knowing what's going to be on the test then be able to study for it would rather study then find out what's on the test I'd much rather know what's on the test first Because then I know what I'm studying. I know exactly what's useful and what's not it's the same thing here air on the side of action Here's the main problem excessive knowledge creates two things. The first is it creates paralysis When you have too much information you go out and field and the only thing or anytime you execute The only thing you think of is how many different things are floating around in your head If I tell you walk up to a girl and say hey, what's up? That's it Then you're going to walk up and you're going to say hey, what's up? If I say walk up to a girl and say one of 500 things, let's go through number number one You can say hey, what's up number two? You can say hey, what's going on? How's your day going number three you can ask about her jealous girlfriend number four and I give you all 500 of those things What's going to happen when you go up? When you walk up, you're going to think oh shit um number 64. No, no, that's not a good one Um 70 no, no, I don't I don't like that one. Anyway, you're not actually even going to walk up Because in that process you're going to get so in your head. It's not going to happen This is not just a pickup thing. This has been around forever this idea of analysis paralysis It applies to every industry you only want the information that's going to help you right now Because learning about three something when you can't open doesn't help you it just clouds your mind It just makes you think you're really smart because you know all this information Implement first take action first the other thing on this is this idea of the choice paradox You can actually google this the choice paradox is this idea that the more choices you have the less satisfied You are when you pick one of them and the more confused you get because you have too many choices The guy that has one job opportunity. He only has one job offer It's really easy for him to choose what job he wants to work at because he's only got one He just goes into work the guy that's got 400 job offers. It's really hard Because even if he narrows it down to the one he wants when he picks it. He's always saying Oh, what if I picked that maybe that one wouldn't better. It's always the grass is going to be greener on the other side That's the choice paradox When you have too much information, that's exactly what you do in field You go in field and the first thing you think of is I have too many choices That's why I don't give you guys 400 openers You get one opener Because you don't have to decide which one to use you want to limit the number of decisions the number of choices You have to make in that moment Just do one thing and do it well The choice paradox hurts a lot of guys because they read too much. They read too much information And it's not that information is bad. It's that it clouds their head. It's now they have too many choices Now it's like I can use mystery method or I can use juggler method or I can use food just think I can use this I can use this Which one should I'm just not going to approach That's what most guys do And they don't Most guys don't approach and if they do they don't approach enough because of that All right, so let's talk about some major takeaways. We've talked about a lot of different things A lot of those different sticking points that you guys are going through Okay First you want to filter advice For that advice is applicability You want to make sure that that stuff makes sense But that stuff is applicable to you Because if it's not not only will it not help you it will hurt you You want to make sure that your work effort at ethic Exceed your expectations because if it doesn't you won't meet those expectations You want to surround yourself with attractive people with the people who have achieved or are achieving the things that you want to achieve You want to learn humor and flirting You want to be able to do those things You want to be able to utilize those techniques because if you don't nothing else happens beyond that You want to think critically you want to question all of your assumptions There's a lot I guarantee right now in this room a lot of you guys have conclusions They're just wrong and you are convinced they are right You're convinced that this equals this or this is the answer to this And they're wrong So start questioning all of them Because those conclusions are what you're using to make decisions on your life It's like if I had a conclusion that the world is going to end tomorrow What decisions would I make? All right, it's all my stuff I'd probably call up all these people I'd probably spend all my money. I'd probably do all that that's all fine in dandy if the world actually ends What if it doesn't kind of screwed tomorrow, right? Tomorrow not that much fun because I didn't anticipate this You will make your decisions based on the assumptions and based on the conclusions that you have So make damn sure that those conclusions are correct Because if they're not then you're spending a lot of money hoping that the world's going to end the next day Invest in yourself we talked about that Make sure that whatever you want to get good at whatever you're trying to do that you always remember that principle You're always trying to invest in yourself DHV stories, they don't work. That's the nutshell. They don't work And finally Don't be alpha be confident Okay Access information will hurt your development All right I want to leave you guys with one final quote And it's something that I've used and something that it's a theme that I've used to lead my life through It's something that I follow. It's something that defines how I live my life Because I've felt those pangs of regret And it sucks and there's nothing you can do about it because you can't go back in time You can't go back to change things It's a quote by mark twain and he said 20 years from now You'll be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the things that you do So throw off the bow lines sail away from the safe harbor Catch the trade wind in your sails explore dream discover I'm DJ Fuji and it's been a pleasure speaking to you guys. Thank you Now here's the part Where you guys at home just made a big mistake Because I'm about to give away about over a thousand dollars worth of training In addition to all the other bonuses that these guys in this room are giving are going to get And a lot of that is because they have chosen to invest in themselves They've chosen to be here and I know it's really easy to just watch this online for free But this idea of investment these guys here have been chosen have chosen to make that commitment So my challenge to you guys sitting at home Is that I want to see you guys here next year