 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan assay of Jonathan assay calm And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic what men need They need in order to commit to you to you to commit to you really quickly before we get started if you're new to my youtube channel up and you're If you're new to my youtube channel, please hit the subscribe button hit the bell so you're notified of new content All right our topic. What do men need in order to commit to you? All right, I'm gonna just tell you what they need they need the desire to want commitment They need to have that desire to want commitment. They need to have that desire to want to be in relationship. They need to have that Clarity on what it is a relationship looks like for them. They need to have a desire of exploring what? Partnership looks like for them. So they actually have to have some semblance of awareness on what they want and I Recognize this is a struggle for most of you women because the reality is is about 80% of men are Dating from a perspective of they're running around with their heads cut off like chickens In other words, they have no fucking clue as to what they want and look I get it. It's frustrating now women I'm gonna say you're kind of in the same boat except the fact is you know you want commitments You know that you want commitment most women want commitment because biologically speaking You are designed to want to be mated with someone else where men are designed to spread their seeds So there is a component of difference although the reality is is we both men and women want to feel loved We want to feel connection But the fact is and by the way ladies here. Let me pause for a second Any one of you that follows my chandel. Let me tell you something. I Have a hard on for unconscious people whether it's men and women or like look I recognize from a woman's perspective. You're dealing with a lot of dysfunctional men But let me tell you something men feel the same way about many of you So I'm I'm not here to pick one side or the other I just happen to be an advocate for women more so because 80% of the population is fucking clueless now ladies you all think you're not I get it But let me tell you something I get calls all the time that sounds something like this Jonathan I'm in a relationship with a guy. It's going on six months to a year and I want more commitment. I'm like great What does that look like for you? Well Jonathan? I just want more commitment from him. I'm like great What does that look like for you? But Jonathan? I just want more commitment from him. I'm like great What does that look like for you? Most of you don't know what it looks like for you. You know, it's interesting. There's a book. I'm reading It's a business book called the partnership charter the partnerships charter How to start out right when you begin a business partnership? Well The reason why I'm talking about this book is when two people decide to partner with one another They have a goal in mind. They each have a goal in mind of why they're doing this Now this doesn't sound romantic. This doesn't sound very sexy. I get it I'm who what doesn't want to be romanced with flowers and the man opening the car door and paying bills all the time That sounds really sexy and great. It's great to have sexual passion together But what's the fucking point if you don't have a plan on what it looks like long-term? People are experiencing a lot of short-lived relationships Mainly because humans only 80% of the population want companionship connection and sex without going the extra mile So look it I get it it's frustrating This is one of the reasons why I'm an advocate for my book What the heck is self-love anyway and by Jonathan Asley the link is below to get my book Actually, there's a link to all the books. I recommend below So check that out if you haven't seen it's called Jonathan recommends. It's in the links below. I Recommend these books I recommend all these books as an awareness especially the self-love book is when you when you are loving on yourself It's not so much about landing the guy. It's about landing the relationship with yourself And that's the relationship matters most so when you know what you want Then you set the stand most of you have standards here actually standards down here I'm here to say put your standards here and establish. This is where you operate from So let me give you an example for me and maybe this will help you Someone asked me. What am I looking for in relationship? I always say In the early stages, I'm looking to spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities hobbies Mutual interests spending time with family and friends Traveling together teamwork meaning both teamwork in our professional endeavors and our personal develop in personal lives Meaning we actually help each other in our personal and professional lives and eventually moving towards living together getting married I'm very crystal clear Now this is only about 10% of the male population. Is that crystal clear for those of us in midlife? younger men They're in that Younger men can be in the category of I'm seeking a family. So they're seeking a wife So someone in their 20s and 30s is oftentimes seeking a wife. They're looking to build a family They have a plan in other words, they're seeking a wife for the midlife folks If you're not seeking a wife, most people are seeking companionship connection and sex without the mechanics of Creating a healthy happy relationship This is one of the reasons why I'm a big proponent of the book eight dates by John Gottman This teaches you the mechanics of a healthy happy relationship Why can't people do this? Because people are suffering on the inside. I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable. I'm not likeable This is where the vast majority of the population sits both men and women alike And so if you've gone through divorce that can be Contentious and very emotionally draining and then God forbid you've gone through job changes Especially now what's happening in the world and then you're dealing with elderly parents or you're dealing with erectile dysfunction You're dealing with menopause not to mention children. Oh You know you all who've been watching me know. I lost my 19 year old son Connor talk about an emotional Tornado that I've gone through and that's just what Everybody is going to their own version of an emotional tornado Compassion is the invitation for all of this Compassion for yourself and compassion for others How do you know a man wants to commit to you? He has a plan of what he wants and he's able to express it and it starts by leading by example You express what you want and you see if he meets you in the same place and that's my invitation for you I was all over the map here today, but I hope you found some value If you feel like you wanted to talk to a dating relationship coach schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is Right for you and I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self Love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love I'm gonna ask you to turn to somebody and give them a hug of love because hugs are great source of love And we can all use more love in our lives I hope you found value in this video and remember this is how a man will commit to you when he knows what he wants Thank you so much and wishing you a wonderful day. Bye. Bye now