 Hi again. This is Victoria English. I am a top coach with James Swanwick Project 90. It's good to be back. I am hijacking James's podcast today. I've got something on my mind today. I want to talk about values. What are values? Well, if you think about it, values are the ideas that define the kind of person we want to be. Values are what we hold important in our lives. Values dictate our behavior, sometimes our reactions, our habits, the things that we do, how we walk through the world. When we're living in alignment with our values, feels pretty good. So here's a question for you. What are your values? Take a minute and just think off the top of your head. Not the kind of person you want to be, but the person you are today. What are you valuing? Talk to yourself and define your values. What is your internal compass? Maybe it's family. Maybe it's health, education, career. Once you've made that little list in your head, I want to ask you a really important question. Where does alcohol show up in your values? When you are drinking alcohol, how do your values show up? I asked this question because it was one that was presented to me when I was becoming alcohol free for the last time, finally. And I took a quiz and to be honest, my values didn't surprise me. My top five values were family, faith, health, honesty, and intelligence. Then the person I was speaking with asked me a really interesting question. She said, are you surprised by those? And I said, no, not at all. I could have told you that. I didn't need a quiz. And then she said, how do those values show up when alcohol comes into the picture? Well, that stopped me for a minute. So, family. How does alcohol show up in my family when I'm drinking? Boy, that was humbling. Was I being the best mother I could be? I mean, I was feeding my kids. They were clean. They had shoes that fit and clothes that were washed. But was I really being the best mother I could be when I was drinking? No, I wasn't. Faith. Well, whatever you believe in, if you believe in something bigger than yourself, it could be the universe, good juju, good vibes, positive energy that you put out into the universe. How does that show up when you're drinking Victoria? Oof, another one. Because the truth is, when I would drink, I wasn't really bringing much good into the world. I wasn't bringing anything bad. I wasn't getting in bar fights. I wasn't screaming at anyone and, you know, making a mess of life. Well, I was on some levels. But you know what I mean? I wasn't a spectacle. Did I feel connected to something bigger than myself? No, not really. Because my spirit was kind of dimmed down, to be honest. That was tough. How about honesty? Are you really, really your most honest self? That's kind of a trick question. Sometimes I was a little too honest, right? I would have too many drinks. I could tell people what I thought of them. Didn't come out very politely either. But was I honest? No, I wasn't. When I often denied drinking, when I was drinking, yeah. Would I minimize it? Yes. Would I say that I only had two glasses when I had four or more? Yes. Would I promise I wasn't going to do it again? Yes. Did I break that promise? Yes. So many things. You see where this is going. So ask yourself that tough question. When alcohol is in the picture, how are you walking through the world? How are your values showing up? Everyone wants to live according to their values. And we don't have to do it perfectly. Certainly, I am not always the most healthy person. I have some candy here and there, big old slice of pizza. But let's take health, for example. If you value your health, is alcohol helping that value? Are you pouring empty calories down your throat? Are you ingesting something which is a proven carcinogen? Are you putting on extra weight because you're ingesting those calories and skipping that healthy meal and then later turning to junk food that you wouldn't normally ingest? Do you wake up the next day feeling fresh and healthy or do you wake up feeling bloated with a headache and regret over what you ate the night before? It's a tough thing to look at. And here's the clincher. If your values are being compromised by alcohol, it doesn't make you less of a person. It doesn't make you a bad person. That's where I got really hung up on things because I knew my core values so much so that that quiz wasn't a surprise. But when I brought in alcohol, those values went out the window. And for a long, long time, you guys, I felt like a bad person. I wasn't a bad person. I had made a habit of ingesting alcohol. Over time, that became more of a habit. That became a dependence. Why? Well, because alcohol is a highly, highly addictive substance that is the only drug in society that we have to defend not using, that we have to explain why we took a break from. If someone had a cocaine habit and they told their friends that they were deciding to take a break or even give up cocaine forever, would anyone question that? Would anybody say, come on, it wasn't that bad? Of course not. Because if a person is doing one tiny, tiny line or bump of cocaine, we know that that's too much. Did you know that alcohol is actually more addictive than cocaine? Did you know it kills more people per year than cocaine? So why is it that when we decide to reduce or eliminate alcohol from our lives, because it's not helping us live according to our values, that we have to defend it or make excuses? Oh, yeah, I'm on antibiotics or, oh, yeah, I have a 5K tomorrow. Shouldn't be that way, but it is. But when we boil it down to something as basic as this, alcohol doesn't help me live an authentic life. It should be enough. It usually is. Some people are still going to take issue with it. And that's not our problem. That's the other thing, you guys. When we live authentically, we realize that we're comfortable in our skin. We realize that, you know what, I'm showing up as the best version of myself. Not perfect. No one's perfect. But I'm showing up as me. And that, you guys, is enough. So if people take issue with the fact that you've stopped ingesting this addictive carcinogen that steers you away from the person you really are, you're going to feel comfortable enough to stand tall. I learned it. And back to my mention of, are you a bad person? No, you're not. You took on what society said was a magical elixir. You drank it. It turned into a habit. Maybe that habit has gone too far. Even if it hasn't gone that far, is it enhancing your ability to live according to your values? If it's not, go ahead and take a break. I mean, how many times have you said that to yourself? I'll just take a break. It's okay also to not be able to take a long break without community and without coaching. If I didn't know that to my core, I wouldn't have gone all to all the effort of becoming certified to coach around alcohol because I remember how hard it is to do alone. And if you could do it alone, you might not be listening to me right now. So that's the great thing about Project 90. We take away the alcohol and we provide an amazing space with like-minded people who will likely share a lot of your same values. And they had that one damn thing, holding them back. They realized that it's not their fault. It doesn't make them a bad person. It doesn't change their core values. It's just taken them off course a little bit. And let me tell you, once that alcohol clears out, you should see what happens. When people come into alignment, living according to their core values, it's magic. It is incredible to see that fog lift, to see people's skin get brighter, their eyes are sparkling, and they're like, yes, I'm back. This is who I am. And to see the confidence. Because, you know, when you're living in alignment with your values, things can still go wrong in life. But here's the thing. When we're drinking, we do have that initial sense of contentment and satisfaction. But is that really contentment and satisfaction? No. It's a neurochemical reward. That's all. That's all it is. You're pouring something in that changes your brain chemistry. So you feel content and peaceful and relaxed for a little bit. What about when you're making choices that are actually healthy, truly healthy, and you have that alignment and you have that confidence? You know what, anything can go on in the world and you're going to be okay. Compare that to when you're drinking. Are you okay with what goes on in the world? No. Because you're not living the right way. You're not living in accordance with your core values. So you're right in the wave of the world. It's completely normal, but once you have the awareness of it, you can make a choice to do something different. So that you can go through hard things alcohol-free. You can have a bad day and stay alcohol-free. I've been through things since I've become alcohol-free that I never thought were possible without alcohol, but I have gone through it. Did I have bad days? Absolutely. Did I cry? Absolutely. Was I angry? Absolutely. Did I need alcohol? Nope. You know why? Because I now have a lighthouse and I know my core values are leading me in the right direction. The universe kind of conspires with you when you live in alignment, when you are living the way that you know you should. And I'm not preaching here, okay? This is not about you have to be good or you're bad. I'm talking about that internal voice that we all have that tells you when you're doing right and when you could be doing better. That voice becomes the voice directing your path instead of alcohol directing your path. So again, think about your values. Think about if alcohol helps you live in alignment or if it's taking you off course. And if you want to be back in the driver's seat staying on the course that that little voice is saying you should be on, come give us a look. Come over to Project 90. See what we're about. You have nothing to lose except for 90 days or more if you choose a calorie laden nutrient free. There's no nutrients in it. Carcinogenic toxin. That's addictive and takes you away from your values. So anyway, if you would like to learn more, you can download James's free guide to giving up alcohol at alcoholfreelifestyle.com. You can also find me at Victoria at alcoholfreelifestyle.com. If you want to find out more about Project 90, check out alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash project 90. I lead a lot of the, I lead a lot of the calls. We are a great community. I look forward to getting to know some of you. Come on over, take a break, check us out. Until next time, this is Coach Victoria. Take care. Thanks for listening to the Alcohol Free Lifestyle podcast. I want to load you up with some free stuff right now. So if you want to go to JamesSwanick.com slash guide, I will send you my quit alcohol guide, which has helped six figure entrepreneurs and top professionals produce or quit drinking. You can also text the word quit guide to the number 44222 if you're in the US, of course. It doesn't really work anywhere outside of the US. But if you're in the US on your mobile phone and you'd like that guide, text the word quit guide to the number 44222 or you can go to JamesSwanick.com slash guide. If you'd like to schedule a free 15-minute call with one of my top coaches, just an exploratory call to see if or how we can help you, then you can go to JamesSwanick.com slash schedule or you can text the word Project 90 to the number 44222 if you're listening in the US on a mobile phone. That's JamesSwanick.com slash schedule or you can text the word Project 90. That's one word, Project 90 to the number 44222. Feel free to send me a direct message over on my Instagram account, which is at JamesSwanick. You can also watch video episodes of this podcast and a series of other educational videos on my YouTube channel, which is JamesSwanickOne. Or you can direct message me on Facebook at JamesSwanickOfficial. And finally, a request. Would you please now write a short review of the podcast inside of the Apple podcast app on your phone or on iTunes on your desktop computer? Would you please give the show five stars and write a quick one or two sentence review? This will help the show get in front of even more listeners, potentially transforming someone's life. You can rate and review the show inside of your Apple podcast app on your phone or over on iTunes on your desktop. Thank you so much and I'll catch you next time.