 CHAPTER ONE of UNCLE WIGLEY ON THE FARM This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. UNCLE WIGLEY ON THE FARM by Howard R. Garris. STORY 1. UNCLE WIGLEY AND THE OATS Uncle Wiggly Long Ears, the nice bunny rabbit gentleman who lived in Woodland, was not very well. I think you had better call Dr. Possum, said Uncle Wiggly, to nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, his muskrat lady housekeeper. Perhaps you can make me feel better. In came Dr. Possum, with his satchel of medicine hanging over his back from the crook in his tail, just as the little Possums cling to their mother's tails when they go out with her looking for something to eat. I don't feel at all good, Dr. Possum, said Uncle Wiggly. Ho hum! Let me look at your tongue, said the animal doctor. And then Uncle Wiggly had stuck out his tongue, and it had been looked at both sides, the bunny said. What kind of medicine are you going to give me, Dr. Possum? No medicine at all, said Dr. Possum. What you need is to get out in the country, breathe fresh air, and eat lots of lettuce and turnips and cabbage and milk. Get out in the country, on a farm. On a farm, cried Uncle Wiggly. Yes, on a farm, spoke Dr. Possum again. Go live on a farm, you and nurse Jane. It will do you both good. Uncle Wiggly twinkled his pink nose once or twice like a raisin in the middle of a sugar cookie, and then he said, Well, I think it would be nice on a farm. Come on, nurse Jane. We'll go. And before another week had passed, Uncle Wiggly and Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy were living in a hollow stumbungalow on a nice farm that the bunny uncle had bought. It was not far from where Sammy and Susie Little Tail the rabbit children lived, nor was it a great way from the trees where Johnny and Billy Bushy Tail the squirrel boys scampered about. And, as I have told you in other books, many stories about Uncle Wiggly finding his fortune and having adventures and going to the seashore up in an airship and riding in an automobile. Now I will tell you some stories that happened to him when he was on his farm. And now to begin. I shall be very busy today, nurse Jane, spoke Uncle Wiggly as he slowly walked off the porch of his hollow stump farm house. Very busy indeed, I shall be. In fact, you might put me up a little lunch to take with me. A lunch? Oh, Wiggly, why? She asked. Aren't you coming home to lunch? I don't believe I'll have time, answered the rabbit gentlemen. You see, I have to go and call on many of my friends. Aren't you going to attend to your farm, the muskrat lady asked? Oh, yes, and it is about my farm that I go to call on the other animal folk. You see, the oats on my farm are getting ripe and ready to cut. I need help, as there are so many oats, and I am going around to ask Sammy and Susie Little Tail the rabbits, Johnny and Billy Bushy Tail the squirrels, Jackie and Petey Bow Wow, the puppy dog boys, and all my other big and little friends to come and help gather the oats. That is why I will not be back to lunch. Then I'll put you up a nice one, said nurse Jane. In a basket, she put some lettuce sandwiches with slices of carrot between them. There were also some watermelon seed, ice cream puffs, and a little cabbage jelly spread over cucumber bread. Oh, it was a very fine lunch indeed, and makes me hungry when I write about it. So with his lunch in a basket over his paw, Off started the bunny uncle to ask his friends to come and help him gather the oats that grew on his farm. Come and help you, of course we will, cried all the animal folk big and little, for they loved Uncle Wiggly and wanted to do him a favor. Over to the oatmeal they went, and then such a busy time as there was. The rabbits and the squirrels, also the doggies bit off, the oat stalks with their sharp teeth, the ducks Lulu and Alice and Jimmy Wibblewobble and grandfather Goosey Gander nibbled off the oats in their bills, and Netty and Becky, stubtailed the kind bears, pulled them off with their claws. My, I'll certainly have a lot of oats this year, cried Uncle Wiggly, making his pink nose twinkle as he stood in the field and watched the grain being gathered. There'll be enough for gup, the kind old horse, as well as for the pony's doddy and munchy trot. It is very good of you, my friends, to help me gather the oats. Oh, we like it, cried Sammy Little Tail. It is like a picnic to us. It would be a real picnic if there was something to eat and some pink lemonade to drink, spoke Alice Wibblewobble. Bless your wing feathers, cried Uncle Wiggly. Of course there's something to eat, and then sure enough along came nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy and old Mother Goose, bringing a number of baskets filled with good things, from peanuts to ice cream popcorn balls. When all the oats were cut down, the animal folk gathered together and carried them into Uncle Wiggly's barn. There they were put in a big box or bin, like the cold bin, only it was made of white clean boards and not black and dirty ones. Well, I think I'll go out in the barn and look at my oats, said Uncle Wiggly about a week after they had been stored in the bin. I want to see if I have room for any more. So out to the barn went the bunny uncle and climbing to the top of the oat bin or box. He looked down inside, but something must have happened, for all of a sudden Uncle Wiggly's paw slipped, and right down among the oats he fell head over heels. The oats were almost as soft as hay, so he did not get hurt in the least, but when he tried to walk across them and to the edge of the bin he sank down almost to his shoulders. The oats were soft and shiny slippery, and it was like trying to climb up a hill of sliding sand. Uncle Wiggly could not do it. Oh, dear, he cried, his pink nose twinkling like a looking glass in summer. I'll never get out of here. I'll have to stay in the oat bin forever. Oh, dear! He tried and tried again to get up the slippery hill of oats in the bin, but he could not. Then he cried, Help! Help! Will no one help me? Why, yes, I'll help you. Who are you? And where are you? A voice outside the barn asked. I'm in the oat bin. Please get me out, answered the bunny gentleman. Into the barn came running Nettie's stubtail, the little boy bear. He was just passing and had heard Uncle Wiggly call. I can't see you, said Nettie, as he stood in the middle of the barn floor. Well, I'm inside the bin and it's so slippery I can't get out, said Uncle Wiggly, but there is a hole in the bottom of the bin through which the oats slide out. The hole is covered by a board. Pull out this board and I will slide out with the oats. Nettie, the boy bear did this, and out came sliding the slippery oats through the hole just as coal slides out of the wagon. And with the oats out on the barn floor shot Uncle Wiggly, not heard a bit, but a little dusty and quite sneezy, for the dust from the oats got up his nose. Thankerschnitzel, you! Ned-ekechu, D! he said, and Nettie laughed. That's how the bunny gentleman fell into the oats and got out again. And if the sweet pickle doesn't fall into the barrel of sauerkraut and get its warts all must up, it can't go to the clam chowder party. I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the cows. End of chapter one. Chapter two of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard R. Garris. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Story two. Uncle Wiggly and the cows. Uncle Wiggly, are you going to take a hop over your farm this morning? Asked Susie Little Tale, the rabbit girl, as she walked up to the front steps of the bunny gentleman's hollow stump farmhouse, where he was sitting on the porch. Why, yes, Susie, I generally take a walk over my farm every day to see how the things are growing, he said. Why did you ask me? Because I'd like to go with you this time, answered the little rabbit lassie. Someday I may want to live on a farm myself, and it would be a good thing for me to know all about it. Indeed it would, Uncle Wiggly agreed. There are many things to learn about a farm. I feel better since I came to live in the country on a farm. I'll be happy and pleased if you will come along with me. And maybe we'll have an adventure, laughed Susie. Maybe we shall, I hope so, Uncle Wiggly cried, making his pink nose twinkle so that it looked almost like a strawberry tart. I haven't had an adventure in some time. Come along, Susie. So the bunny gentleman and the rabbit girl went along together paw in paw over the farm. Uncle Wiggly showed Susie where the lettuce was growing, where the carrots kept their yellow pointed bodies hidden under the brown earth until it was time for them to be pulled, and many other things growing on his farm did the bunny uncle show to Susie. All of a sudden, as they were looking to see if the popcorn had made itself into baseballs, Susie gave a cry. Oh, Uncle Wiggly! Look at that big spider! exclaimed the little rabbit girl. I'm afraid it will bite me. It's bigger than the one that sat down beside Miss Muffet. Oh, dear! Where is the spider? asked the bunny gentleman, peering through his glasses. There, said Susie, pointing to a fence rail on which something was crawling. It is a big one, said Uncle Wiggly, but I guess it won't hurt you, Susie. Indeed, and I will not, the crawling creature said. Besides, I'm not a spider. Indeed, spoke Mr. Long Ears politely, but you look like a spider and crawl like one. Well, perhaps I'm a sort of spider, said the crawling chap, but I do not spin a web. I am Daddy Long Legs. That's who I am. Oh, I've heard about you, said Uncle Wiggly. I'm sorry, Susie made a fuss about you. Oh, that's all right, said the Daddy Long Legs kindly. I'm used to little girls screaming when they see me, for I do look a little like a spider, though I would never harm anyone. I'm sure you would not, the bunny Uncle said. You may stay on my farm as long as you like and crawl all over my fences. Thank you, the Daddy Long Legs replied. You have been kind to me, and it is not often anyone acts that way towards me. If ever I can do you or any of your friends a favor, I shall be very pleased to. Pray do not mention it, spoke Uncle Wiggly politely. How could a Daddy Long Legs do a favor? asked Susie, as she and the bunny Uncle went on again over the farm. You never can tell, said Mr. Long Ears. Stranger things have happened. Let us wait and see. Pretty soon they came to where Uncle Wiggly was growing some strawberries, and the ripe red fruit looked so nice that Susie and Uncle Wiggly stopped to pick some to eat. I must come over here soon and get enough for Nurse Jane to make into a shortcake, said the rabbit gentleman, as he and Susie walked on. They had not hopped very far before all of a sudden they heard a sad voice saying, Oh dear, I'll never find them. I know I won't. Oh dear, I don't see what they wanted to hide away from me for. Just when I'm in such a hurry, that's too bad. That sounds like trouble, said Uncle Wiggly. It sure does, agreed Susie. I wonder who it is. Just then, through the bushes came bursting Jackie Bow Wow, the little puppy dog boy. Oh, Uncle Wiggly, Susie, he cried. Have you seen them? What? asked the bunny Uncle. Mother Goose's cows was the answer. She sent me to find them in the fields near your farm, but the cows aren't here. I can't find them anywhere, and I'm in a hurry to get back to play ball with the boys. We'll help you find the cows, said Uncle Wiggly, and he and Susie looked also. But no cows could they find, and Jackie was getting more and more anxious. What seems to be the trouble? asked the voice. And there, on the fence rail, sat Daddy Long Legs. I can't find the cows, said Jackie. Look over there, spoke Daddy, pointing one of his long legs. The cows are in those bushes. And surely enough they were. How did you know they were there? asked Jackie, as he barked and drove the cows home to Mother Goose to be milked. Uh, we, Daddy Long Legs, always show where the lost cows are, was the answer. That's what we're for. Thank you very much, said Uncle Wiggly. You see, Susie, the Daddy Long Legs did do a favour after all. I see, said Susie, and then she went on home over the farm fields with Uncle Wiggly, while Daddy Long Legs crawled on the fence looking for more lost cows. And if the table legs don't step in the milk pitcher by mistake and get so tangled up they can't dance with the napkin rings, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the rake. End of chapter two. Chapter three of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard R. Garris. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Story three, Uncle Wiggly and the rake. Where are you going this morning, Uncle Wiggly? Asked Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the muskrat lady housekeeper, as she saw the bunny gentleman standing on the front porch of his hollow stump home, looking across his farm. Are you going to look for any more lost cows? Not this morning, answered the rabbit. I am going to pull some weeds from where they are growing among my carrots. I can't have the weeds in there. Why not? asked Nurse Jane. Aren't weeds good? Well, some folks like them almost as much as they do flowers, spoke Mr. Longyear's, but I would rather have the weeds out of my garden than in, so I am going to pull them out. How? asked the muskrat lady. With this rake, answered the bunny uncle, and he held up a long-handled thing, on the end of which was a piece of scratchy iron made with sharp teeth. The teeth of the rake will pull out the weeds, said Mr. Longyear's. And with a hop, skip, and a jump, over towards the bed of carrots he started. On the way, he looked at the other things growing on his farm, and he made up his mind that he would soon have to hoe the dirt up into little hills around the bean plants, so they would become larger and stronger. When he reached the place where the carrots were growing, Uncle Wiggly began scratching up the ground with the sharp teeth of the rake, pulling out the weeds from between the rows of vegetables. And when he stopped to rest, he heard a voice asking him, Oh, Uncle Wiggly, may we take your rake for a little while? The bunny uncle turned in surprise, thinking perhaps it was some bad creature, like the skillery-skillery alligator, playing a trick on him. But he only saw Jimmy with a wobble, the boy duck, and with him was Jolly Longtail, the little mouse boy. What do you want my rake for? asked Uncle Wiggly. To get our baseball bat down out of a tree, spoke Jolly the most chap. How did your bat get up in a tree? The bunny uncle wanted to know. We threw the bat up to knock the ball, said Jimmy. You see, it was this way. We were playing ball and Billy Wagtail the goat knocked the ball over the fence and into the tree. There the ball stuck. To get it down, Jackie Bowow threw the bat at it. And the ball came down, but the bat stayed up, chattered Johnny Bushytale, the boy's squirrel, as he scampered along with his brother, Billy and Sammy Littletail, the rabbit chap. So we want your rake to pull the bat down out of the tree, said Nettie stubtail the little boy bear. Take my rake with pleasure, said Uncle Wiggly. I'll wait here in the shade of this pie plant until you come back. And he sat down under the broad green leaves of the rhubarb or pie plant, which made a nice shelter from the sun. Along the ground, Nettie dragged the rake, making long, deep scratches in the dirt with the iron teeth. Pretty soon, the animal boys came to the tree where their baseball bat was caught between two branches. The little boy bear, with Billy Wagtail to help him, lifted the rake up in the air, pushed it in among the green leaves, and when it was caught on a branch, they jiggled it and joggled it, and down came the bat, which is a round stick of wood that the animal chaps and other boys use to hit the ball. Ouch! cried Jolly Longtail, for the bat fell on his toes. Now let's take Uncle Wiggly's rake back to him, said Johnny Bushetail. I'll do it, as it isn't my turn to play for a while yet. So the squirrel chap dragged the rake back to where Uncle Wiggly was waiting under the pie plant, and when Johnny was almost there, he heard a rustling in the bushes and a voice growled, Ha! I'll get that rabbit sure now. Brr! Johnny looked and there, creeping towards the bunny uncle, was the bad old ear-scratching cat. Johnny was wondering how he could best tell Mr. Longhears to jump up and run away, when suddenly he saw the creeping cat stop and looked down at something on the ground. Oh my! yelled the cat. Some other scratching creature has been here ahead of me. Oh, what big deep scratches its claws have made in the ground. Maybe that scratchy creature is a friend of Uncle Wiggly's, and if it is, well, he could scratch me all to pieces with such big claws as it has. Oh dear, I guess I'll run away. And with a last look at the scratches in the ground, a way ran the bad cat, not bothering Uncle Wiggly at all. Ho ho! laughed Johnny as he went on towards the bunny gentleman. The cat saw the scratches made in the ground by the rake when Nettie and I dragged it along, and the cat thought the scratches were made by some big animal. That cat was fooled, all right, but I'm glad for Uncle Wiggly was saved. The bunny uncle was glad also for he didn't like his ears scratched, and if the sharp church steeple doesn't make a hole in the rag doll's balloon, so that it bursts and scares the Polly parrot, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the Ho. End of Chapter 3 Chapter 4 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard Argeris The sleeper box recording is in the public domain. Story 4 Uncle Wiggly and the Ho Do you want me to go to the store for you or do anything like that? Asked Uncle Wiggly long years, the rabbit gentleman, as he waved his whiskers in a goodbye to nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, his muskrat lady housekeeper, one morning. He was just going down the front steps of his hollow stump farmhouse. Do you want anything, nurse Jane? Where are you going, she asked? Over to my farm bean patch to hoe up the dirt around the vines into little hills. Are the beans going to slide downhill? The muskrat lady wanted to know. Ha ha, laughed Uncle Wiggly. The beans slide downhill. Ho ho, that's pretty good. No, beans don't do that, Janey. But I must hoe the dirt into little hills around the vines so the beans will grow big and strong. With the dirt hoeed into little hills, the roots of the beans will be better covered. But do you want anything? Well, if you get time, you might go to the five and ten cent store and bring me a spool of thread, said nurse Jane. I'll do it, promised Uncle Wiggly. When I feel like taking a rest from hoeing the beans, I'll go to the store for you. So with his long handled hoe over his shoulder, a wave started the bunny uncle across his farm. His hoe was like a rake, only it had no teeth in it. It pulled the earth together instead of scratching it apart. Uncle Wiggly went along over his farm, looking on this side and that for the tail-pulling chimpanzee monkey or for the ear-scratching cat. But he saw neither of them, and he was glad. Safely, he reached his bean patch and began to hoe the dirt up into little hills. Well, now I think I'll rest a while and go to the five and ten cent store for nurse Jane, said Uncle Wiggly to himself after a bit. There are not many more bean hills to make. I can do them when I come back. Standing the hoe up against the fence, the rabbit gentleman went on to the store, where he asked for a spool of thread. What color does nurse Jane want? The little mouse girl clerk behind the five and ten cent store counter wanted to know. What color? asked Uncle Wiggly, sort of puzzle-like. Is there more than one color thread? Of course there is, laughed the little mousey girl. There is red, blue, green, purple, pink, black, white, yellow, scarlet, brown, mauve, gray, speckled, spotted. Stop, stop please! begged Uncle Wiggly, putting his paws over his ears. I did not know there was that much thread in the world. Nurse Jane didn't say what color she wanted, so give me a spool of each, and she can take her choice. So, Uncle Wiggly, with forty-eleven spools of different colored, spotted, streaked, and striped thread in a bundle, started back to his farm to finish hoeing the beans. And when he got there he saw something that made him feel sad. For there, in the bean patch, was the bad old tail-pulling monkey smiling, so as to show his teeth. I thought you'd come back, said the monkey. So I waited for you. You needn't have troubled yourself, spoke the bunny-uncle, unhappy-like. Oh, don't worry about me. I didn't mind waiting. It was no trouble at all, I assure you. I suppose you know why I'm here, asked the monkey. Are you going to pull my tail, asked the rabbit? You have guessed it, said the monkey. I am going to pull your tail. The last time you got away from me. And I haven't pulled a tail in ever and ever so long. I must pull a tail now. Then why not pull your own, asked Uncle Wiggly. It is much longer and easier to pull than mine. Don't talk nonsense, exclaimed the monkey chap. I never pull my own tail. Get ready now, I am going to pull yours. And he jumped over to the bunny, Uncle Wiggly thought for a minute. Then he said, before you pull my tail, would you mind letting me hoe the dirt around some more hills of my beans? Yes, you can do that, agreed the monk, as I call him for short. But be quick about it. And he sat down on the ground near Uncle Wiggly, with his long curly tail stretched out behind him. The monkey's tail, I mean. Uncle Wiggly began hoeing the dirt, but instead of making a hill around his beans, he slyly hoed a big hill of dirt right over the monkey's tail. A great big pile of dirt. The bunny uncle quickly hoed over the monkey's tail, working very fast. There, suddenly, cried Uncle Wiggly, catching up to the spools of thread in his hoe, and running away. Now let's see you chase after me and pull my tail. And the bad monkey could not. The pile of dirt on his tail was so heavy that it held him fast and he could not move, and he had to stay there until the rain came and washed away the earth. But Uncle Wiggly got safely home with the thread, and it was a green spool, nurse Jane wanted. All the others of the forty-ten left over, she sent back. So it is a good thing Uncle Wiggly, the farmer, had a hoe, and if the boardwalk doesn't run away with a lemon-squeezer and make the nutmeg greater cry, you shall next hear of Uncle Wiggly and the wheel-barrow. End of Chapter 4 Chapter 5 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard R. Garris The sleeper-box recording is in the public domain. Story 5 Uncle Wiggly and the wheel-barrow Well, you certainly look as though you were going to be busy today, spoke nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the muskrat lady, as she came out on the front porch of the hollow stump farm-house, and looked at Uncle Wiggly, the farmer, bunny-gentleman. What are you going to do with that, she asked, for the bunny-man had a wheel-barrow in front of him, and he was wheeling and rolling it along on the grass. I'm going over to the far end of my farm, he said, and wheel-barrow some stones off it. There are so many stones on the ground that nothing will grow. I'm going to gather them up in a big pile, and then, with my wheel-barrow, I will cart them over to the river and throw them in. Stones would just as soon be in the water as on land, and I'd a good deal rather have them off my farm. So here I go, goodbye nurse Jane. Goodbye, called the muskrat lady housekeeper. Uncle Wiggly went along over the fields, and through the woods, for there were nice woods on his farm, and pretty soon he came to a place where the ground was covered with stones. Big stones there were, and little ones round stones and square, and some with three corners to them. Some look like funny faces in others like marbles, or tops, or even ragdolls. But no matter how they looked, they must get off my farm, said Uncle Wiggly to himself, and he began gathering the stones and piles to wheel away to the river. He had not been working very long before he heard a cute little voice calling, Oh, Arabella, there's Uncle Wiggly! Now we can have some fun, come on! The bunny gentlemen stopped picking up the stones and looked around. He saw Arabella chick, and Susie Littletail, the bunny girl. Arabella was a little hen, as you all know, and the two animal girls had their dolls with them. Oh, Uncle Wiggly, cried Susie, may we help you pick up stones? Oh yes, I guess so, answered the old rabbit gentleman, good nature to like and jolly. And her dolls will help too, went on Arabella. Now Esmeralda chocolate spice cake, she said to her doll. You must be real nice and help Uncle Wiggly pick up the stones. And so must you, Clarissa Janet Hummingbird, said Susie to her doll, who had a rubber nose. Now we'll begin. So the two little animal girls with their dolls started to help Uncle Wiggly pick up stones for the wheelbarrow. But bless your hearts, and also your lollipops, Susie and Arabella could only pick up the very littlest stones, especially Arabella the hen girl, for she had to hold them in her bill. In her claw she held her doll, Esmeralda chocolate spice cake, and Arabella pretended that the doll picked up stones too, but it was only make-believe. It was the same way with Susie's doll, Clarissa Janet Hummingbird. She could not pick up stones by herself, and the little bunny girl had to do it for her. And with this, that, and the other, and with getting in Uncle Wiggly's way and picking up little stones and dropping them and giggling and looking after their dolls, Arabella and Susie did not help the rabbit gentleman quite as much as they thought they were doing. But bless your ice cream cones this time, Uncle Wiggly wouldn't make them feel badly by telling the little animal girls that they were bothering him. Instead he just gave a jolly laugh and whistle and said, Come now, how would you like a ride in the wheelbarrow? Oh, that would be lovely, cried Susie. And may we take our dolls, asked Arabella? Yes, said Uncle Wiggly. So into the wheelbarrow jumped the bunny girl and the chicken girl, and Uncle Wiggly gave them and their dolls a nice ride. And then Susie and Arabella thought of something else to play, so away they ran, leaving Mr. Longhears to do this farm work in peace. He got rid of them most politely, you see. Uncle Wiggly was piling up the stones and carting them in the wheelbarrow down to the river when all of a sudden a harsh voice cried. Well, you may stop working now, Uncle Wiggly. Stop working? Why? asked the bunny, because I am going to take you off to my den, went on the voice, and out from behind a rock popped the bad fox. Off to my den, you must go, you must go, you must go, off to my den, you must go, my fat rabbit. He sang to the tune of London Bridge, and he grabbed hold of Uncle Wiggly. Come now, the fox went on. I may as well ride to my den in your wheelbarrow, as you rode Susie and Arabella. I don't like walking, so you must wheel me. Very well, spoke Uncle Wiggly, sad-like and resigned. Get in, and I'll wheel you to your den. So the fox got into the wheelbarrow, and off started the bunny. But do you suppose he went to the den of the fox? Deity did not. When Uncle Wiggly came to the river bank, where he had been dumping the stones, he suddenly upset the wheelbarrow, fox and all, and plunk, right into the water splashed the bad creature. Oh wow, oh slosh, oh slosh, gurgled the fox, making a dreadful fuss, and by the time he swam out, Uncle Wiggly was safely home. So you see, a wheelbarrow is sometimes better than a trolley car, and if the coconut cake doesn't turn into a straw hat for the elephant to sit on when he goes to the moving pictures, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly, and the dandelions. End of Chapter 5 Chapter 6 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard R. Garris This lever box recording is in the public domain. Story 6 Uncle Wiggly and the Dandelions Well, well, well exclaimed Uncle Wiggly long years the rabid gentleman farmer, one day, as he climbed over the fence and looked down at the ground on part of his farm. This must never be, never. I'll have to do something right away about this. He hurried back to his hollow stump house and took down the hoe and rake that hung out in the woodshed. He was quite excited and flustered, which means cursed slosh-straighted, and nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the muskrat lady housekeeper, seeing the bunny gentleman asked, Why, wiggy, whatever is the matter? Matter? Matter enough, he answered. I was just over to the northeast corner of my farm where I have planted some turnips. And what do you suppose has happened to them? They didn't run away to go see a moving picture show, did they? Inquired nurse Jane, guessing like. No, answered Uncle Wiggly, putting his hoe and rake over his shoulder. No, not exactly. The bad, scullery, scalery alligator didn't pull up your turnips, did he? No. But where are the turnips ought to be coming up? A whole lot of yellow daddy-line flowers and weeds have grown. The daddy-lines fill the ground so full that there is no place for my vegetables. This must never be. I'm going to hoe up and rake up all those yellow flowers so they won't be in the way of the turnips. Well, I suppose that's the only thing to do, said the muskrat lady. But still, daddy-lines are pretty. Not when they grow in my turnip bed, exclaimed the bunny uncle, and then tying his whiskers in a knot. So they wouldn't get in his way. He hurried back to that part of his farm where the daddy-lines were growing in the turnip bed. I'll dig them out. Every last one of them, said Mr. Long Ears to himself, the idea of those bold daddy-lines daring to come in my turnip bed. Said Uncle Wiggly. He shook his head quite savage-like, pretending to be very cross. And angry, but really he wasn't. On and on he went, stopping now and then, to see how his beans and peas and corn were growing. For on his farm, Uncle Wiggly raised many things that are good to eat. He climbed over the fence just before he came to the turnip field. He saw, growing down in a corner, one lone little yellow dandelion flower. Ha! One of those bold fellows here too, exclaimed the bunny man. Well, I'll not dig you up for as you are alone, you can do no harm. But I'll dig up all the others so they can't grow any more. The lone little dandelion heard Uncle Wiggly say this, and the yellow flower shivered. Oh, if I could only grow big and tall and have legs, so I might go and tell my brothers and sisters what is going to happen to them, the dandelion thought to himself. But I can't warn them to get away. They will all be killed. Uncle Wiggly was soon at the field where the dandelions were growing in place of the turnips. Laying down the rake, the old rabbit gentleman took his hoe and was just going to take up a whole clump of yellow weed flowers when a voice behind him said, One moment please. Hey, what's that? Asked Uncle Wiggly. Just stop what you're doing, and come with me. Went on the voice and there stood the bad old ear-scratching cats with a coconut grater in one paw. Do you want me? asked the rabbit. I certainly do, y'all the cat. I am going to scratch your ears good this time. Look here. With that, the unpleasant creature took the coconut grater which was very rough and sharp and rubbed it up and down on the wooden fence rail. Slivers and chips of wood were scraped off with the rasping, filing sound. That's what will happen to your ears, said the cat. You have fooled me so many times, getting away from me, that never yet have I had the pleasure of scratching your ears. Now it will be all the worse for you. Come along. No, he isn't going. Suddenly said a voice, seeming to come from down on the ground. Oh, isn't he? asked the ear-scratching cat. Who says Uncle Wiggly isn't coming with me to my house in the dark and dismal woods? Who says so? I do, cried a brave voice. I do. And who are you? asked the cat. The dandy lion was the answer. We are all dandy lions here. And if you don't let Uncle Wiggly alone, we'll bite and scratch you and pull your tail and, and, and now you just scat, cried the dandy lion flower. And with that some of the brave dandy lion blossoms that had gone to seed blew their fluffy white stuff in the cat's face and made him sneeze and turn a somersault. And then he ran away, without even tickling the bunny, to say nothing of scratching its ears. Well, well, well, exclaimed Uncle Wiggly, the dandy lion flower saved me. I thank you, he said to them, making a low bow. And you may grow here as long as you like. I'll never dig you up. And so the dandy lions, or as most folks call them, dandy lions grew like a patch of sunshine on the bunny gentleman's farm for many years. And if the breakfast roll doesn't tumble off the front stoop and hit the milk man on the nose, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and Lulu's hat. End of chapter six. Chapter seven of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard R. Garris. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Story seven, Uncle Wiggly and Lulu's hat. Uncle Wiggly, do you want to do something for me? Asked Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the muskrat lady housekeeper of the rabbit gentleman, one day as he started out from his hollow stump farmhouse to take a walk in the woods. Do something for you, Nurse Jane. Why, of course I want to, spoke Mr. Longhears. What is it? Just take this piece of pie over to Mrs. Wibblewobble, the duck lady. Went on, Miss Fuzzy-Wuzzy. I promised to let her taste how I made apple pie out of cabbage leaves. And very cleverly, you do it, too, said Uncle Wiggly, with a polite bow. I know, for I have eaten some myself. I will gladly take this pie to Mrs. Wibblewobble. And off through the woods, Uncle Wiggly started with it. He did not have to work on his farm that day. He soon reached the duck lady's house, and Mrs. Wibblewobble was very glad indeed to get a piece of Nurse Jane's pie. I'll save a bit for Lulu and Alice. My two little duck girls, said Mrs. Wibblewobble. Why, aren't they home? Asked Uncle Wiggly. No, Lulu has gone over to a little afternoon party, which nanny wagtail the goat girl is having, and Alice has gone to see grandfather Goosey-Gander. Jimmy is off playing ball with Jackie and Petey-Bow-Wow, the puppy-dog boys, and so I am home alone. I hope you are not lonesome, said Uncle Wiggly. Oh, no, thank you, answered the duck lady. I have too much to do. Thank Nurse Jane for her pie. I shall, Uncle Wiggly promised, as he started off through the woods again. He had not gone very far, before all of a sudden he did not stoop low enough as he was hopping under a tree, and the first thing he knew, his tall silk hat was knocked off his head and into a puddle of water. Oh, dear, cried Uncle Wiggly, as he picked up his hat. I shall never be able to wear it again until it is cleaned and ironed. And how I can have that done out here in the woods is more than I know. Ah, but I know, said a voice in a tree overhead. Who are you, and what do you know? Asked the bunny uncle, surprised like and hopeful. I know where you can have your silk hat cleaned and ironed smooth, said the voice. I am the tailor bird and I do those things. Let me have your hat, Uncle Wiggly, and I'll fix it for you. Down flew the kind bird, and Uncle Wiggly gave her his hat. But what shall I wear while I am waiting? asked the bunny uncle. It is too soon for me to be going about without my hat. I need something on my head while you are fixing my silk-stove pipe, dear tailor bird. Oh, that is easy, said the bird. Just pick some of those thick green leafy ferns and make yourself a hat of them. The very thing, cried Uncle Wiggly. Then he fastened some ferns together and easily made himself a hat that would keep off the sun, if it would not keep off the rain. But then it wasn't raining. There you are, Uncle Wiggly, called the tailor bird at last. Your silk hat is ready to wear again. Thank you, spoke the bunny uncle, as he laid aside the ferns, also thanking them. Now I am like myself again. And he hopped on through the woods, wondering whether or not he was to have any more adventures that day. Mr. Long Ears had not gone on very much farther before he heard a wrestling in the bushes, and then a sorrowful little voice said, Oh, dear, how sad. I don't believe I'll go to the party now. All the others would make fun of me. Oh, dear, oh, dear. Ha! That sounds like trouble, said the bunny uncle. I must see what it means. He looked through the bushes and there, sitting on a log, he saw Lulu Wibblewobble, the little duck girl, who was crying very hard, the tears rolling down her yellow bill. Why, Lulu, what's the matter? asked Uncle Wiggly. Oh, dear, answered the little quack-quack child. I can't go to the party. That's what's the matter. Why can't you go? Uncle Wiggly wanted to know. I saw your mother a little while back, and she said you were going. I know I was going, spoke Lulu, but I'm not now. For the wind blew my nice new hat into the puddle of muddy water, and now look at it. She held up a very much bedraggled and de-braggled hat of lace and straw and ribbons and flowers. Oh, dear, that hat is in a sad state, to be sure, said Uncle Wiggly. But don't cry, Lulu. Almost the same thing happened to me, and the tailor bird made my hat as good as ever. Mine was all mud too, like yours. Come, I'll take you to the tailor bird. You are very kind, Uncle Wiggly, spoke Lulu, but if I go there, I may not get back in time for the party, and I want to wear my new hat to it very much. Ha, I see, cried the bunny uncle. You want to look nice at the party? Well, that's right, of course, and I don't believe the tailor bird could clean your new hat in time, for it is so fancy, she would have to be very careful of it. But you can do as I did, make a hat of ferns, and wear that to Nanny Wagtail's party. I'll help you. Oh, how kind you are, cried the little duck girl. So she went along with Uncle Wiggly to wear the fern screw in the wood, leaving her regular hat at the tailor bird's nest to be cleaned and pressed. Uncle Wiggly made Lulu the cutest hat out of fern leaves. Oh, I wish you could have seen it. There wasn't one like it, not even in the five and ten cent store. Wear that to Nanny's party, Lulu, said the rabbit gentleman, and Lulu did. The hat being fastened to her feathers with a long pin made from the stem of a fern. And when Lulu arrived at the party, all the animal girls cried out, Oh, what a sweet, lovely, cute, dear, cunning, swell and stylish hat! Where did you get it? Uncle Wiggly made it, answered Lulu, and all the girls said, they were going to get one just like it, and they did, so that fern hats became very fashionable and stylish in woodland. And Lulu had a fine time at the party. So this teaches us that even a mud puddle is of some use, and if the rubber plant doesn't stretch too far and tickle the goldfish under the chin to make it sneeze, the next story will be about Uncle Wiggly and the currents. And a Chapter 7 Chapter 8 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard Arcaris This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Story 8 Uncle Wiggly and the Currents Where are you going today, Uncle Wiggly? Asked Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy Namaskrat Lady Housekeeper as she saw the farmer rabbit gentleman start out of his hollow stump house one morning. Over to my current bushes, he answered, you know, I grow nice red currents on my farm, as well as carrots and cabbage. I want to see if the currents are ripe enough to pick. And if they are, went on Nurse Jane, I think it would be a good thing for you to bring some home, so I could make jam. Fine, cried the bunny uncle jumping up and down at the end of his little tail. Then he was so glad that he sang this funny song. Jam, jam, red current jam. You ask if I'm happy. I'll say that I am. No matter what happens, I'm jolly, you see, for Miss Fuzzy-Wuzzy's so pleasant to me. Then Uncle Wiggly started across his farm to the place where the current bushes grew, with their clusters of red fruit hanging, ding-ling, ding-ling down. Oh, like the tales of bow-peeps lost sheep. Yes, there are plenty of currents for jam, and also enough for a pie, I think, said Uncle Wiggly. As he kindly told some worms to stop eating the green leaves of the bushes, for the worms were making sandwiches of them. The bunny uncle was sort of padding himself on his whiskers to think what a nice farm he had when all of a sudden he heard a little voice asking, Oh, may I have some? Ha, I wonder who that is, asked Uncle Wiggly turning quickly and hoping it would not happen to be the fuzzy fox or the skillery-skillery alligator with tortoise-shell goggles on. But it was only Susie Little Tail, the rabbit girl. Ha, what do you want, Susie? asked Uncle Wiggly kindly and politely. Some of those nice red beads spoke Susie, pointing to the bushes. I want them to make a necklace on a string. Ha, those are not red beads, said the bunny uncle with a laugh. They are red currents. I will give you as many as you want, Susie, but don't try to eat them unless you sprinkle lots of sugar on them. Why not, Susie wanted to know? Because they are specially and double extra strong and sour, answered the bunny uncle, string them on a long thread of grass for a coral necklace if you like, Susie, but don't eat the red current beads unless you want your mouth to get all puckered up. I won't, promised Susie. Then Uncle Wiggly gave her some of the red currents and she strung them on a long thin thread of grass to make a necklace, just as you make a daisy chain. Susie tasted one of the littlest red currents and she puckered up her mouth after it for the red fruit was very, very sour. Well, Uncle Wiggly, said the little rabbit girl at last, my necklace is made now and I guess I'll run and play with Squeaky Eaky, the little cousin mouse. Here I'll give you some of my sweet lollipop to take the sour taste out of your mouth. If you happen to eat some sour currents by mistake. Oh, thank you, said Uncle Wiggly politely, and then with a piece of Susie's red colored lollipop in his paw, he went on looking at his current bushes while Susie hopped off down the road. Not long after this, Uncle Wiggly heard a harsh voice behind him saying, Well, whenever you are finished, you may come with me. Come with you, cried the rabbit gentleman, surprised like. Come with you. Yes, I've caught you again. And there stood the bad old fox, all ready to grab our Uncle Wiggly. There was no way for the rabbit gentleman to get away or escape for the current bushes were on all sides of him except one and in that place stood the fox. Oh, dear, sadly, said the bunny chap. What shall I do? Well, come with me, of course, answered the fox, grinning and showing his teeth. We shall dine together. Uncle Wiggly knew what this meant, that the fox would do all the eating. So the bunny gentleman tried to think of a way out. Then he looked at the piece of red lollipop Susie had given him. And next he looked at the red currents growing on the bushes all around him. Then he said to the fox, Before you dine, would you not like to taste something good? If you mean the lollipop, yes, answered the fox, handed over. But instead of giving him the lollipop Uncle Wiggly behind his back, Slyly picked a bunch of sour red currents and gave them to the fox. The bad creature, thinking it was a lollipop, chewed them at once. Then a funny look came over his face. His mouth all puckered up, as small as a thimble, and making a most distressful and apologetic face he cried, Oh, wow, oh, vinegar and lemons. My mouth is so puckered that I can't open it to eat you. Oh, what a trick you played on me. Oh, wow. And then lashing himself with his tail away ran the fox to get some sugar to take the sour puckery red current taste out of his mouth. And Uncle Wiggly wasn't hurt, after all, you see. But if the haystack doesn't fall down at the barn dance and get all covered with strawberries, so it looks like a long cake, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the green apples. End of Chapter 8 Chapter 9 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard Argeris This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Story 9 Uncle Wiggly and the Green Apples What's the matter now, Uncle Wiggly? Asked Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the muskrat ladyhousekeeper one morning, as she saw the bunny gentleman standing on the front porch of his hollow stump farmhouse, looking as though he did not know what to do. Are you in trouble? Have the carrots on your farm tickled the string beans, or did the onion make tears come in the eyes of the potatoes? Neither one answered Uncle Wiggly. It's all on account of the animal boys and the green apples on my farm. Green apples, exclaimed Nurse Jane. Animal boys? Yes, answered Uncle Wiggly. Sammy Little Tail, the rabbit chap, Johnny and Billy Bushetail, the squirrels, Jackie and Petey Bow Wow, the puppy dogs, and lots of their chums are taking green apples from my farm and eating them. You don't mind that, do you? asked Nurse Jane. I don't mind the apples, said Uncle Wiggly, but I don't want those animal chaps to be made ill eating them. I guess I'll just have to hop, skip, and jump over to that part of my farm where the green apples grow and see what I can do to stop those little chaps from getting them. Better take your umbrella, said Nurse Jane. It looks like rain. I will take it, said the bunny gentleman, and holding the rain shredder in his paw, he started over toward the green apple tree part of his farm. It was a nice warm, pleasant summer day, and when he had hopped over a few fences, crawled under some stone walls and skipped through the green woods, the bunny gentleman found himself at his orchard of apple trees. Well, none of the animal chaps are here now, he said to himself looking around, but they will soon be. I'll just wait until they come, and then I'll tell them they must take no more of the green apples. So down sat the bunny uncle under the tree to wait. As I have said, it was a warm, pleasant day, so it is not surprising that Uncle Wiggly fell asleep on the bed of soft green moss that grew around the tree. How long he slumbered he did not know, but he was awakened all of a sudden by feeling something like a rough nutmeg grater or a file or coconut scraper being drawn over his pink, twinkling nose. My goodness me, sakes alive! What's the matter? cried Uncle Wiggly, sneezing and jumping up. Then he saw the bad old skillary-scalery alligator with the humps on his tail, standing near and slowly opening and closing his mouth. Oh my, said Uncle Wiggly, surprised like. Did you wake me up? I guess I did, spoke the gator. I just brushed you with my nutmeg grater tail. I wanted to wake you up because you and I are going on a little picnic together. I am going to have the best time at the picnic. You are to be the lunch basket, so to speak. Oh dear, cried Uncle Wiggly again. I don't want to go to lunch with you. And he well knew that he very likely would be eaten by the skillary-scalery creature. No matter what you want, come along with me, cried the gator, most savage-like and impolitely. If you do not come by yourself, I will carry you for I am very strong. Are you really asked Uncle Wiggly as if he didn't know? Of course I am, cried the gator, a bit proud-like. Then all of a sudden Uncle Wiggly thought of something. He looked up at the tree on which were many hard round green apples, as hard as stones almost. Indeed, it is a wonder how boys ever bite them. Next the rabbit gentleman looked at the alligator, who was waiting to carry him away. Do you think you are strong enough to shake and jiggle this tree? Asked Mr. Longhears. Of course I am, answered the gator. But why do you want it jiggled? Well, let me see if you can do it. Went on the bunny-chap. I'd like to see you shake the tree before you take me away. That is very easy for me to do, went on the proud alligator, with one blow of my strong tail I can jiggle this tree like anything. After I do that, I will take you away with me. Uncle Wiggly raised his umbrella. The alligator shook his tail, hit the tree with it as hard as he could bang, and then bangle, crackle, smash-o. Down fell a shower of the hard green apples like stones. They hit the alligator on the nose and his toes, and he was so pelted and sore that he cried, oh wow, this is no place for me. It is raining hard green bullets. And then he ran away and didn't bother Uncle Wiggly at all. And the bunny gentleman, even though he was under the apple tree, did not get hit because he had raised his umbrella over his head. And all the green apples were shaken off the tree, so the animal boys could not eat any more of them and be made ill. Thus, everything came out all right, you see. And if the string bean doesn't wind itself around the cucumber and tie the sweet potato into a hard knot, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the peaches. And Chapter 9 Chapter 10 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard R. Garris The Sleeper Fox recording is in the public domain. Story 10 Uncle Wiggly and the peaches Where are you going, Uncle Wiggly? Asked Sammy Little Tale, the rabbit boy, one day as he saw the bunny man come down out of his hollow stump farmhouse. And start to hop across the fields and green meadows. Why, I am going for a walk to see how the fruit and vegetables are growing on my farm. Uncle Wiggly answered, Do you want to come with me? There are no more green apples, are there, Sammy wanted to know, making his pink nose, which was just like Uncle Wiggly's, twinkle in the sun. No more, I am glad to say, answered the rabbit. The skillery-scalerie alligator knocked all the green apples off, so you boys could not eat them, and make yourself ill. All that are left are the ripe ones, but they will not be ready to eat for some time. Oh dear, said Sammy, sort of sighing like. What's the matter? asked Uncle Wiggly, wanting to know. I'm so hungry, went on the little rabbit chap. I was counting on eating apples, but if there aren't any, What would you say to peaches? asked the bunny man. Peaches? Oh my, cried Sammy, smacking his lips and collapsing his paws. That's just fine. But where are some? I have a peach tree on my farm, went on Uncle Wiggly. The peaches ought to be ripe now. We'll take a walk over and see. Through the woods and over the fields, went the bunny uncle and the rabbit chap. It did not take them long to reach the place where the peach tree grew, and from the limbs were hanging many beautiful red-cheeked peaches, all ready to be eaten. Oh yum yum, cried Sammy, happy like. I think I'll eat a few myself, said the bunny gentleman. So, first spreading a soft carpet of bunches of green grass under the tree, Uncle Wiggly and Sammy knocked down some of the fruit. It fell, bounced up in the air, and they caught it, and made a little peach pile at the foot of the tree. We have enough, said the rabbit gentleman at length. Let's sit down and eat some, Sammy, and I will take home a few in the top of my tall silk hat, so Nurse Jane can make a peach shortcake. The bunny gentleman and the little rabbit boy were eating the soft, tender, and sweet peaches, talking about how good they were, and how nice it was to have a farm where you could grow all the things you needed for your meals when all of a sudden, down at the end of the peach orchard, there was a rustling in the bushes, and Sammy cried, Look there, Uncle Wiggly. Uncle Wiggly looked. He saw a bad old nose-pinching kangaroo animal with such long hind legs that it can almost jump up to the moon. Are you Uncle Wiggly? asked the kangaroo, growling like. I am, was the answer. Then you're the one I'm looking for, went on the nose-pinching chap. The ear-scratching cat and the tail-pulling chimpanzee told me about you. I haven't practiced pinching any noses for a long while. Just come here until I pinch yours a bit. Oh, I don't want to, spoke Uncle Wiggly, sort of shy-like and bashful. You must, cried the nose-pinching kangaroo. If you don't, I'll take you away with me and throw peaches at him, Uncle Wiggly. Suddenly whispered Sammy, throw the peaches at him. We have more than we can eat. That's the idea. The very thing, Uncle Wiggly said, you throw some, and I'll throw some more at the bad chap. Together they threw a lot of peaches. Squash, squash, squash, smash the red-cheeked peaches on the end of the nose of the bad kangaroo. Pooh, nonsense, do you think I mind such soft things as peaches, he cried? I'll carry you away for all of them and pinch your nose too. Straight at Uncle Wiggly, he ran. And then, when the bunny gentleman did not know what to do, Sammy suddenly cried. Oh, Uncle Wiggly, there are hard stones inside the peaches. If we take them out and throw them at the nose-pinching kangaroo chap, we may yet drive him away. Very good. Do it quickly, cried Mr. Longhear's hurry, Sammy. Then Uncle Wiggly and the bunny boy broke open the soft peaches, which the kangaroo did not mind any more than so many pieces of chocolate cake, and the two bunnies took out from inside the peaches the hard stones. These they threw at the unpleasant animal. And then that bad nose-pinching chap, feeling the stones strike him, cried. Oh, dear. Oh, woe is me. Oh, jitney buses and hard-headed lead pencils. I guess I made a mistake. I don't mind soft peaches, but I don't like hard stones. I don't want to pinch any noses today. Then he ran away, not bothering Uncle Wiggly or Sammy any more. So this teaches us it is a good thing that all peaches have stones. And if the umbrella doesn't pull the mosquito-screens out of the window to play tag with on the front porch with the roller-skates, I'll tell you next of Uncle Wiggly and the rubber-plant. And a Story 10. Chapter 11 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard R. Garris The sleeper-box recording is in the public domain. Story 11. Uncle Wiggly and the rubber-plant. Here is something for your farm, Uncle Wiggly, said Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy the muskrat Lady Housekeeper, as she came out one morning on the front porch of the hollow stump house where the rabbi gentleman was looking up at the sky to see if it might shed tears of rain. Something for my farm? That's very nice, Uncle Wiggly answered with a smile that made his whiskers look as curly as a carpenter's shaving. What is it? A rubber-plant, answered Nurse Jane. A rubber-plant, cried Uncle Wiggly. How nice! I suppose it has rubber balls growing on it instead of peaches or pears? No, spoke Nurse Jane. It hasn't. Then does it grow stretcher rubber bands that play nice jolly music marching tunes? Asked the bunny gentleman. Come to think of it, I'd rather have a rubber-plant that grew rubber bands than anything else. I am so fond of music. I'm sorry to disappoint you, said the muskrat Lady, but as a matter of fact, and she spoke just like a schoolteacher on her vacation, as a matter of fact, the rubber-plant I am going to give you for your farm doesn't grow rubber bands. Then what does grow on it or come off it? The bunny Uncle wanted to know. Just rubber leaves, answered Nurse Jane. Nice big glossy green leaves grow on the rubber-plant and make it pretty to look at. That is all. It is good to see. Uncle Wiggly scratched his chin with his left hind foot and looked as though he was thinking very hard. To tell you the truth, Nurse Jane, he said, I haven't much room on my farm for anything that just looks nice. I must raise things that are good to eat, such as corn and peas and beans or potatoes or carrots. I see, spoke Nurse Jane, sort of sad like. Then you don't want my nice pretty rubber-plant that I bought at the five and six cent store? Of course I want it, cried Mr. Longhears, seeing that Nurse Jane would feel badly if he did not take her present, only if it doesn't grow rubber balls or gum drops or... Oh well, never mind. I guess it's time I had something on my farm that is nice to look at, even if you can't eat it, he went on. Thank you very much, Nurse Jane. I'll set out your rubber-plant over in the meadow where the cows can see it. They like green things. So Uncle Wiggly set out the rubber-plant and then, as he was very busy about his farm, hoeing the corn, pulling the weeds out of the onion bed, and sprinkling Paris Green on the potatoes, for a time he forgot all about Nurse Jane's present. But the rubber-plant did not forget about itself. It grew and grew and grew until it was large and strong, with big, stretchy, glossy green leaves on it. One day Uncle Wiggly was riding around his farm in his automobile, watching things grow. He saw the cabbages getting nice big heads on them, and peas and beans were filling out, and the eyes of the potatoes were blinking at the ears of corn to see which would be ripe first. And the corn ears were listening to the dewdrop. Everything seems to be coming along all right, said Uncle Wiggly as he started his auto again. I guess I'll go back to my hollow-stump farmhouse and have supper. So back he started, but he had not gone far before all of a sudden he heard a sound like hiss. Oh dear, cried the bunny uncle. One of my auto tires has a hole in it, and the air is sissing out. And surely enough, that was what happened. A sharp stone had made a hole in the baloney sausage tire on one of the wheels of the rabbit gentleman's auto, and he had to stop. Well, well, he cried as he got out to look at it. This is too bad. I can't run my automobile with a hole in the tire, and yet I must get home before. And just then there was a rustling in the bushes and out jumped a bad old fox. Ah, this time I have you, he cried to the bunny gentleman. You can't get away from me now with your burst tire. Your auto won't go. I have you. So you have, sadly said Uncle Wiggly, and the fox was just going to grab him when another voice suddenly spoke and said, Quick, Uncle Wiggly, take some of my leaves and some sticky gum from the pine tree near you and mend the hole in your tire. Then it will hold the air and you can ride home and get away from the fox. Quick, paste one of my leaves over the hole in the tire. Who are you? asked Uncle Wiggly. Nurse Jane's rubber plant was the answer. Then the bunny gentleman took some of the stretchy rubbery leaves and plastered them over the hole in the auto tire with some pine tree sticky gum. Next he blew some air in the mended tire and before the fox could grab him, away went Mr. Long Ears in his auto as nicely as you please and the fox couldn't run fast enough to catch him. I'm sorry, I thought your rubber plant was of little use, said Uncle Wiggly to Nurse Jane that night when he was safely home. It saved my life. Now I know that things can be beautiful to look at and useful at the same time. And I guess you children know that too. So if the chocolate cake doesn't turn into a pumpkin pie and hide in the sugar bowl where the cream puff can't find it to play marbles, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the corn cobs. End of chapter 11. Chapter 12 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard Argaris. The sleeper box recording is in the public domain. Story 12. Uncle Wiggly and the corn cobs. Where are you going today? Asked Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the muskrat lady, as she saw Uncle Wiggly Long Ears, the rabbit gentleman, starting out of his hollow stump farmhouse one morning. Are you going to pick beans or smell the perfume of the cauliflower? Neither one, if you please, answered the rabbit gentleman with a polite bow as he twinkled his pink nose like a leaf of lettuce with a dew drop in the center. I am going over to the far green field where my corn is growing and husket. Then I am going to rub from the corn cob the yellow kernels so they can be ground up into yellow meal to make Johnny cakes. And won't there be any Sammy or Billy or Susie or Lulu cakes? Asked Nurse Jane smiling. Oh yes, of course, there will be, answered the bunny gentleman. Johnny cake is only a name. Any of the animal children may have some of the cake made from the corn if you bake one. Then I'll certainly bake enough for all, said the muskrat lady, laughing. So Uncle Wiggly started across the farm to where the corn was growing. It was a new kind and became ripe very early. Sitting down in the middle of the field in the shade of a pile of corn stalks, which he had cut down with his knife, Uncle Wiggly began to shell off the yellow kernels. The kernels he put in a pan that Nurse Jane had given him, letting them fall into it with a rattle to bang like the sound of rain on the shingle roof at night. The corn cobs, which he did not want, the rabbit gentleman tossed to one side. He was working away, shelling the corn, tossing the cobs over his ears and wondering what he would have for dinner when all of a sudden he heard a little voice asking, Uncle Wiggly, may I have these old cobs? Why, of course you may, answered the bunny gentleman, and then he thought he had better look to see who was speaking, as for all he knew, it might be a bad old skillary scale realligator or the fuzzy fox. But it was not, it was only Jackie Bow Wow, the little puppy dog chap. What do you want of corn cobs, Jackie? asked Uncle Wiggly curious like. Oh, I'm going to make something of them, said the little puppy chap. May I have a lot of them? As many as you like, answered the bunny man, I shall be glad to get rid of them, as they are no use to me. All corn cobs are good for, as far as I know, are to make pipes, and as I don't smoke on account of my rheumatism, I don't need a pipe. I don't want the corn cobs, they are no good, take them all. But you just wait and see how good the corn cobs were going to be for Uncle Wiggly. The old rabbit gentleman kept on shelling corn and tossing the empty cobs in a pile behind him. From there, Jackie Bow Wow picked them up, and Uncle Wiggly did not notice what the puppy dog chap did with them. A little later along came grandfather Goosey Gander, the goose gentleman, waddling through the cornfield, just like an elephant picking up peanuts. Well, well, Uncle Wiggly, Grandpa Goosey exclaimed, I certainly am glad to see you. I haven't had a game of scotch checkers with you in a long while. Can't we play now? We have no checkers or a checkerboard, answered the bunny uncle. We can easily mark out the squares of a checkerboard on the ground, said Grandpa Goosey, and for checkers we can take kernels of corn. You take the red ones, and I'll take the yellow. So the two friends began to play scotch checkers. That is a game in which you either have to make a hot scotch or eat butterscotch or something scotch as you play. All of a sudden, just as Uncle Wiggly was jumping, one of his red checker kings over two of Grandpa Goosey's yellow corn checkermen, there was a growling sound at the end of the cornfield, and out popped a big bad fox. Aha! barked the fox just like a dog. I am in luck today. I will have two good meals, a rabbit and a goose. Ha ha! Oh dear, sadly said Uncle Wiggly. It's too bad. It certainly is, cried Grandpa Goosey Gander. You are one and I am one and one and one makes too bad, but it's the fox who really is bad. He is one very bad. Do you think he will eat us? That's just what I'm going to do, answered the fox. Here I come. And with that, he made a jump for the two friends. But just then a sly little voice said, Uncle Wiggly, Grandpa Goosey, come in. Here. Quick. In where? Asked the bunny uncle, looking all around. In the strong house I made of the empty corn cobs was the answer. Come in and hide and the fox can't get you. In there stood Jackie Bowow, the puppy boy, at the door of a house he had made of the corn cobs. It was a large enough house to hold him and Uncle Wiggly and Grandpa Goosey. Into it they jumped and Jackie quickly closed the door, tightly. Uprushed the fox, but he could not get in the strong corn cob house and the rabbit, the goose, and the puppy dog boy were safe. Then the fox, clinking his teeth, because he was so disappointed, ran away and he had to go to a restaurant for his dinner. Ha! I guess corn cobs are of some use after all, said Uncle Wiggly, and if the soap bubble doesn't go up like a balloon and take the wash boiler with it, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggly and the well. And the Chapter 12 Chapter 13 of Uncle Wiggly on the farm by Howard R. Garris. The sleeper box recording is in the public domain. Story 13 Uncle Wiggly and the well My! My! This is too bad! Quite too bad! exclaimed Uncle Wiggly long years, the rabbit gentleman, as he hopped out of his hollow-stump farmhouse one day and looked up at the sky. This is dreadful. What is asked Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the muskrat lady housekeeper, making her tail curl? Are you afraid it's going to rain? No. I'm afraid it isn't, Uncle Wiggly said. Well, that's funny, went on Nurse Jane, as a rule, you don't like rain because it makes your rheumatism worse. Oh, I'd even be willing to suffer some pains of rheumatism for the sake of rain now, went on the bunny uncle. You see, it has not rained in a long while and my farm is so dry that it is all cracking open. The corn, peas, beans, carrots will not grow if they do not soon get watered. That is why I am looking at the sky to see if it will not rain. And the rabbit gentleman looked first with one eye and then with the other up at the sky, but not a drop of water could he see. For two days more it did not rain and then finally, Uncle Wiggly said to Nurse Jane, well, there is only one thing for me to do and that is to go over and dip some water up out of the well on the far end of my farm and dampen the things myself with a sprinkling can. Oh, will you have to do that? Nurse Jane wanted to know. I fear I shall have to, the bunny uncle said. Well, don't get your feet wet, went on Nurse Jane. If you do, you may catch the cursed knuffles and the etchusium. I wouldn't want that to happen, Uncle Wiggly said with a laugh, so I'll put on my rubber boots and my raincoat when I water the farm from the well. That afternoon he started for the far end of his farm where it was very extra dry. At that place was an old well with a bucket on the end of a chain. You could let the bucket down into the well where it would fill itself with water and then you could pull it up. Uncle Wiggly did this, pouring the water into his sprinkling can and splashing it over the hot, dusty and thirsty vegetables of his farm. And as soon as the water drops fell on them or on the dry ground in which they grew, the plants raised their leaves and whispered, oh, how lovely that is, how nice it makes us feel. I'm glad you like it, said Uncle Wiggly and he kept on drawing more water. He had almost finished sprinkling the plants and was thinking about going back to the hollow stump house to get something to eat, which Nurse Jane would have ready for him when, as he was pulling up the last bucket of water, something away down in the bottom of the well caught the edge of the pail bucket and Uncle Wiggly could not pull it up. Huh, this is queer. The pail is caught fast in the well, said the bunny gentleman. I must pull hard to get it out and finish my watering. So he pulled and pulled and pulled again on the rope that was tied to the bucket, but the more he pulled, the tighter the bucket seemed held fast. Well, I must get it up, said Uncle Wiggly to himself, twinkling his pink nose, bracing his feet against the edge of the well and folding back his ears so they would not get in his way. I need this water. I guess the pail must be caught on the edge of a stone. Uncle Wiggly was pulling as hard as he could when all of a sudden he heard a voice behind him saying, What are you trying to do? Pull up the bottom of the well? Oh, no, indeed, answered the rabbit man and turning around, there stood the bad old skillary-scailary alligator smiling so wide and broadly that you would have thought the top of his head might fly off. I'm just trying to pull up the bucket of water, went on Uncle Wiggly. You needn't bother any more about it, said the alligator. Leave it there. I'm going to take you away with me. Oh, please don't, begged Uncle Wiggly, sad like. Yes, I shall, answered the impolite alligator. Come along. Oh, before I go, cried Uncle Wiggly, will you not kindly pull up this bucket of water for me? I need it to water my farm vegetables. I cannot pull it up, but you can, as you are so strong. Yes, I am very strong, said the gator, sort of proud like and supercilious. I'll pull up the bucket for you, and then I'll take you off to my den. The skillary-scailary alligator took hold of the rope. He pulled once, he pulled twice, and he pulled three times, and then presto chango. All of a sudden he pulled so hard that he broke the rope and head over heels. He went in a back somersault and kept on tumbling and rolling over backward until he rolled downhill. And before he could roll back again, Uncle Wiggly hopped safely away to his hollow stump farmhouse, and then it rained, and Uncle Wiggly didn't have to water his farm. So the alligator, with the bumps on his tail, and didn't get the bunny gentleman after all, you see just for showing off how strong he was. And in the next story, if the sweet potato doesn't try to swim in the bean soup and throw oranges at the chocolate cake, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the pie plant. And to chapter 13. Chapter 14 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard R. Garrus The sleeper fox recording is in the public domain. Story 14, Uncle Wiggly and the pie plant. Oh, I feel so happy. I feel so very fine, because the nicest days of all the year are those of summertime. That's what Uncle Wiggly long years, the nice old rapid gentleman, saying as he hopped down off the porch of his hollow stump farmhouse one morning and started across the fields with his hoe over his shoulder. My, but you are jolly today, exclaimed nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the muskrat lady housekeeper, as she finished washing the breakfast dishes. I am jolly, answered Uncle Wiggly, everything on my farm is growing so nicely. Since it rained after I tried to water the vegetables from the well, where the old scalory scalory alligator bumped his nose the other day, everything is fine. And today I am going over in my field and dig some sweet potatoes. I'll make you a sweet potato pie, said nurse Jane with a smile. That will be lovely, cried the bunny uncle, and he blew a kiss from the tip of his paw to the muskrat lady, for he was very polite, even if he was a rabbit. Well, pretty soon, in a little while, not so very long, Uncle Wiggly came to the place where the sweet potatoes grew under the ground. He took off his coat, pulled his straw hat down over his ears, so he would not get sunburned, and began digging. Out rolled the brown sweet potatoes from the hills of dirt where they had been growing. Uncle Wiggly picked them up and put them in his basket. He was thinking how good the pie would taste when nurse Jane had baked it, when all of a sudden he was surprised to hear behind him, a voice saying, Well, you may stop work now. My goodness, me sakes alive and some huckleberry pudding, cried the bunny uncle, who is there? I am, said the voice of Fuzzy Fox, and there, sure enough, he was, sitting down and looking at Mr. Longyear's. What do you want, Uncle Wiggly begged to know? You, snarled the fox, stop your work and come with me. I surely have you this time. You shan't get away. Uncle Wiggly didn't know what to do. He didn't want to go away with the fox, and I guess you wouldn't either, would you? No, I thought not. Well, the old rabbit gentleman looked around, hoping he could find some way to run off and be safe when, all at once, the fox pointed to some big, broad green leaves growing near where Uncle Wiggly was digging, the sweet potatoes, and the fox said, What are they? That is a pie plant, answered Uncle Wiggly politely, for he was polite, even to a fox. A pie plant, eh? Went on the fuzzy creature. Well, if that is a pie plant, just pick for me a cherry pie, and I'll eat it before I take you away with me. Pick me a pie. But I can't, said Uncle Wiggly, flustered like. I thought you said that was a pie plant, went on the fox. So it is, said Uncle Wiggly, but you don't understand. First you have to pull up the stalks of the plant and cook them into rhubarb, and then you make a pie, and nonsense cried the fox. If that is a pie plant, it must have pies growing on it. Now, you must either pick me a pie that I can eat right now without waiting to have it cooked, or I'll do something to you. Poor Uncle Wiggly didn't know what to say, while he knew that no ready-baked pie grew on the pie plant, and especially no cherry ones. What was he to do? All of a sudden he heard from under one of the leaves of the plant a little voice whispering, Uncle Wiggly, ask the bad fox if he'll let you go if you give him a pie. Eh? What's that? Who are you? asked the rabbit gentleman. Never mind. You ask him, went on the voice. Ask him if he wants a pie. So Uncle Wiggly said, if I give you a pie from this plant, Mr. Fox, will you let me go? Maybe, answered the fuzzy creature, shy like in non-committal. Anyway, I'll bite you if I don't get a pie. The bunny uncle turned to the big green leaf again, and out from under it slid a big pie. Not stopping to ask how it got there, Uncle Wiggly quickly passed it over to the fox, saying, there you are. The fox bit the pie, but suddenly his face all became wrinkled up, and he cried, oh, ouch, oh, wow. Oh, my mouth is all puckered. I can't bite even a lemon. Oh, what was me? In a way he ran to the drugstore to get something with which to un-pucker his mouth, leaving Uncle Wiggly safe and not hurt a bit. Where did you get that pie from? Asked the bunny uncle. I'm sure it never grew on the plant. It didn't, answered the little voice. I had it with me. It was a cherry pie. I got at the store for my mother, but I guess the baker forgot to put any sugar in it. That's what made it so sour for the fox. An out came Sammy Little Tail, the rabbit boy. Well, it's a good thing for me that it was sour, said Uncle Wiggly with a smile, as the little rabbit chap hopped out from under the plant. Sammy was on his way home from the bakery when he happened to see the fox trying to catch the bunny man, but Sammy saved him by hiding under the big leaves and by handing out the pie just in time. And if the mooly cow doesn't step on the rubber ball and knock all the wind out so it can't catch its breath, when it plays tag with the goat's express wagon, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the birdseed. And a Chapter 14. Chapter 15 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard Argaris. This Leap of Box recording is in the public domain. Story 15. Uncle Wiggly and the birdseed. Uncle Wiggly spoke Lulu with a wobble, the little girl duck one morning, as she toddled over to the hollow stump house of the old rabbit gentleman. Is there any part of your farm you are not using? Not using? asked Mr. Longheirs. Oh, what do you mean Lulu? I use nearly all of my farm to grow fruits and vegetables. If you want anything like that. No, I just want a little patch of land where I can plant something myself, said the duck girl. Oh, I see, cried Uncle Wiggly, making his pink nose twinkle like a piece of frosted cake. You want to make a little garden? That's it, said Lulu, quacking her yellow bill. I only want a little piece of land where I can plant some seeds. You shall have it, spoke Uncle Wiggly. Let me see now, I think. I'll give you a seed place over where I used to grow some lettuce. The green leaves are all done growing now, and the little garden is vacant. You may have it, but what are you going to plant? Lulu took some seeds out from under her wing. They were of three or four different kinds, some large and some small. My, those are funny seeds, Uncle Wiggly said laughing. What do you expect to grow from them, Lulu? Canary birds, answered the little duck girl. Canary birds, cried the rabbit gentleman. What put that notion in your head? Why, in a drugstore window, I saw a sign which said, Canary bird seed was only 10 cents a package. So I went in and bought some. I thought it would be nicer to raise my own Canary birds than to buy them in the little wooden cages at the five and ten cent store, Lulu said. And when the little birds pop out of the ground, I'll let them all go. For I don't like to see them in cages. I wouldn't like to be in a cage myself. Would you, Uncle Wiggly? No, indeed. But listen, Lulu. As the telephone girl says, this is only seed for Canary birds to eat. You can no more plant it and have Canary birds grow up from it. Then could Jackie and Petey Bowel plant bones and expect to have ham sandwiches spring up or have umbrellas grow on rubber plants? It can't be done. Lulu looks sad for a while. Then she said, Well, anyhow, Uncle Wiggly. Even if I can't grow Canary birds from seed, maybe I can raise something on your farm. May I have a little patch of your ground? You certainly may. All for yourself, said the bunny uncle kindly. But don't expect to raise any sweet singing Canary birds from seeds, Lulu. I won't, promised Lulu. Then with Charlie, the chicken chap, to help her scratch up the ground, Lulu planted the seeds. Each day after that, she brought water and sprinkled it all around to make the ground moist so the seeds could more easily push themselves up through it. And each day, Lulu went to the little garden patch, which Uncle Wiggly had set aside for her on his farm. And she hoped even though Uncle Wiggly said it could not happen, that some Canary birds might appear. After a while, the seeds sprouted and grew. Tiny green leaves came up, growing larger and larger each day as the sun smiled on them until they turned into quite large bushes. And then one day, Lulu the duck, who had waddled over to her garden to see what was going on, noticed some yellow things fluttering among the green branches that had grown from her seed. Oh, they're birds. I believe they're birds, she cried, clapping her wings. Uncle Wiggly made a mistake. Canary birds came from my seeds after all. And surely enough, there were canary birds perched in among the green bushes, chirping and singing most sweetly. I'm going to tell Uncle Wiggly, said Lulu. He will surely be surprised. Taking one more look at the yellow birds in the green bushes, away flapped the duck girl to the hollow stump farmhouse. Oh, Uncle Wiggly, she cried, come with me quick. The canary birds are there. Where? asked the bunny gentleman. In the seed bushes I planted, you said no birds would grow, but they did. The canary birds came, and Lulu flapped her wings and almost crowed. She was so excited. Well, this is very strange, said the bunny uncle. I don't see how canary birds can grow from seed, and yet, well, I will go with you and look, Lulu. And when Uncle Wiggly came to the field and saw the yellow birds fluttering in among the green bushes that had grown up from the seeds, he said, laughingly, I see how it is, Lulu. You planted canary bird seed. The seeds grew and brought forth other seeds. Then the yellow canary birds and the other birds flying in the air saw the growing seeds and came to eat them. That's what they are doing now in the bushes. From all over, they have come here to eat your seeds. Oh, so they have cried Lulu. Well, anyhow, I'm glad they can eat the seeds when they are hungry. And the birds were glad too, and sang most sweetly to thank Lulu for growing seeds for them to eat. And so, even if she did not make canary birds grow, the little duck girl gave them a fine treat. And if the cornstarch pudding doesn't go out in the closed basket where the salt spoon can't find it, to sprinkle sugar on the shortcake, I'll tell you next, about Uncle Wiggly and the eggs. And a chapter 15. Chapter 16 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard Argaris. The Sleeper Vox recording is in the public domain. Story 16. Uncle Wiggly and the Eggs One day after Uncle Wiggly long years, the rabbit gentleman had awakened from a little sleep he had taken under an apple tree. He stretched his whiskers, twinkled his pink nose, and then opening his ears as wide as they would go. He said, Well, I guess I'll take a walk over to the far end of my farm and see how everything is growing. Isn't it pretty late in the afternoon to go look at your farm? Asked Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the muskrat lady housekeeper. The supper is almost ready. I won't be long, Uncle Wiggly said, picking up his tall silk hat and his red, white, and blue striped rheumatism crutch. I haven't had an adventure today. And the afternoon is just as good a time in which to find one as in the morning. So here I go. Well, good luck to you, Nurse Jane said, with a cheerful wave of her tail as she went in to set the table for supper. Oh, by the way, she called Uncle Wiggly. You might gather the eggs on your way back. It will save me making a trip. I'll do it, the bunny uncle promised. I'll bring all the eggs. For, you know, on his farm, just as on all farms, there were chickens to lay eggs. Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a farm. On and on hopped Uncle Wiggly until he came to the far end of his land where some sweet potatoes were growing. The rabid gentleman tasted one of them, and as they were not quite sweet enough to suit him, he sprinkled on them some sugar he had brought in his pocket. For I like my sweet potatoes good and sweet, he said. And having done this, he looked all around for an adventure, which means something happening to you. But he could not seem to find any. Never mind, said Uncle Wiggly to himself. I'll go back and gather the eggs. I may find one there. The hens and chickens on Uncle Wiggly's farm laid their eggs in nests in different places. Some chickens like to go in the henhouse, others on the hay in the barn, and some crawled under the place where Uncle Wiggly kept his automobile. So the rabid gentleman or nurse Jane, whoever gathered the eggs, had to look in many places. Taking the basket, which was always used for the eggs, the bunny uncle started to hunt for them. He found some in the hay and some in the straw, and a few in the grass back of where the tall Holly Hawk flowers grew. Well, I have quite a basket full of eggs, said the bunny gentleman to himself when he had gathered nearly all on his farm. But I know where there is one more nest. However, when he reached it, there were no eggs in it. The chickens had moved away. Oh yes, there was just one egg, but it was not a real one. It was a hard stone made white and shaped like an egg, and it was a make-believe egg, such as are kept in most nests to make the chickens happy. You know, if a hen gets in a nest that already has an egg in it, she thinks to herself, who, what a mean, stingy little nest, only one tiny egg. I wonder who could have laid it. I can do better than that. Wait until they see my egg. So she goes to work and lays a nice egg. And all the while, the egg she saw in the nest is only a make-believe one, and not real at all. It wouldn't do to keep a real good egg in the nest all the while, for it might get broken. So Uncle Wiggly used to put in pretend stone or chalk ones. Well, since the chickens don't lay in this nest anymore, said the bunny to himself, I'll just take this stone egg out and use it somewhere else. He put the hard stone egg on top of his basket of good fresh eggs and started for his hollow stump farmhouse. He had not gone very far, before all of a sudden, out from behind a stone, jumped the bad old ear-scratching cat. Yow, yow, how old the cat, once again, I have caught you, and you have eggs too, I see. Oh, I dearly love eggs. I'll have some of them first before I scratch your ear. Uncle Wiggly suddenly thought of a plan to fool that cat. Oh, you'll have some of these eggs, will you? he cried. Well, how will this one do for a starter? Do you like your eggs hard or soft? Hard, answered the cat. I like hard eggs. Then take this one, cried the bunny uncle, and with that, he suddenly threw the hard stone make-believe egg at the bad ear-scratching cat. Right on the cat's soft and tender nose, the hard make-believe egg landed, and the cat yowled. Oh my, I didn't mean an egg as hard as that. Oh, my poor nose, oh dear, and then the cat ran away to get some court plaster to put on its nose, and so it didn't scratch Uncle Wiggly's ears, or eat any eggs either, and I think that served it right. So here we are again at the end of the story, but if the Junebug doesn't tickle the kitty did, and make her laugh right out loud in the moving picture show, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the Holly Hawks. And a Chapter 16 Chapter 17 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard Argeris This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Story 17 Uncle Wiggly and the Holly Hawks I hope you don't mind, said Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the Muscat Lady Housekeeper, one day, as she came up to wear Uncle Wiggly long ears, the rabbit gentleman, was sitting on the front porch of his hollow stump farmhouse, with his tall, silk hat full of ice water beside him, for it was a very warm day. Mind? Mind who? Or what? Asked the bunny uncle, smiling, so that his whiskers seemed to chase each other away around behind his ears. I always mind what you say, and if you want me to go to the nine-and-tenth-cent store, oh, not at all thank you, exclaimed the Muscat Lady. What I meant was, I hope you don't mind, me asking them. Who? went on, Mr. Long ears, Sammy and Susie Little Tail, the rabbit children, Johnny and Billy Bushy Tail, the squirrels, Jackie and Peaty Bow-wow, the puppy dogs, to say nothing of bully and bolly no-tail, the frogs, I've asked them to come to a little garden party I'm giving this afternoon, said Nurse Jane. I hope you don't mind. Not in the least, cried Uncle Wiggly, with a jolly laugh. The more the merrier. But where are you giving the party? In the garden, in front of your farm, said Nurse Jane, there are flowers in the garden, roses, lilies, flocks and hollyhocks, but the animal children will not hurt any of the blossoms. Bless their hearts, I know they won't, exclaimed Uncle Wiggly, making his pink nose twinkle, like a red necktie, on the back of a trolley car. Let them have all the fun they can, and perhaps you will come to the party for a little while, said Nurse Jane. I'm sure all the children will be glad to see you, and you may care to nibble a bit of the ice cream we're going to have. Ice cream, cried Uncle Wiggly, say no more if you please, I'll be there. Then the rabbit gentleman went on over his farm to see how the beets, carrots, turnips, onions and potatoes were growing. While Miss Fuzzy Wuzzy got ready for the little party, Uncle Wiggly found some weeds growing in the middle of the onion bed, where they had gone to sleep. But he soon pulled them out and hopped on. Now and then, leaning on his red, white and blue striped rheumatism crutch, that Nurse Jane had nod for him out of a corn stalk. Well, I think perhaps I had better go back and see how the party in the flower garden is coming along, thought Mr. Long years after a while. It may be they have so much ice cream they don't know what to do with it, and there may be enough left for Grandfather Goosey Gander and me. So back he hopped to the garden where the flowers grew, and as he came near the place, he heard shouts and laughter from those at the party. Yar it, someone cried. No, I take you first, laughed another. Oh, let's play the jump game, chattered Billy Bushy Tail, the squirrel boy. I think a lollipop game would be better, spoke Susie Little Tail. Then they played both these, as well as other games, until someone saw Uncle Wiggly hopping along. Oh, now we'll have some fun, cried the animal children. We'll have a jolly good time now. Easy, easy, begged Uncle Wiggly laughing. You'll break my rheumatism crutch if you're not careful. Hopping, jumping, flying and walking, the animal children gathered around, the rabbit gentlemen, for they were glad to have them at their party. Everything was as delightful as hard could wish, and there was ice cream enough for all. When all of a sudden, the wind began to blow. Oh, I'm afraid it's going to rain, cried Nurse Jane, who was giving the party. Get the umbrellas, said Sammy Little Tail. There goes my hair ribbon, giggled Nanny Wake Tail, the little goat girl. And mine, too, added Becky Stubb Tail, the little bear girl. That's all right, I'll make new ones for you, out of the ribbon grass in my garden, said Uncle Wiggly. He was just doing this, when all at once down poured the rain, and there were not enough umbrellas for the animal children to get under. Oh, what shall we do? They cried. We'll get soaking wet. No, you will not, suddenly, said Uncle Wiggly. I can make an umbrella for each of you, so the rain will not wet you, in the least. Ready now? And quickly, from the stems of the Holy Hawk flowers, he picked the blossoms, some red, some white, and some pink. A Holy Hawk blossom is just like an open umbrella, and when the animal children at the party held them upside down over their heads, the raindrops ran off to the ground, and no one was wet more than a drop or two, which did not matter, in the least. Home ran the animal children from Nurse Jane's party, holding the Holy Hawk flower umbrellas over their heads, and very thankful they were to Uncle Wiggly for being so kind to them. Thus, you see, that flowers are of some use in this world, besides being merely beautiful, though that is why we all like them. And if the button-hook doesn't try to pull the goldfish out of the canary's cage to play hopscotch with the hand organ monkey, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly, and the little turnip. End of Chapter 17 Chapter 18 of Uncle Wiggly on the Farm by Howard Argaris This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Story 18 Uncle Wiggly and the Little Turnip Well, well, I never did see such a little one as you, exclaimed Uncle Wiggly long years, the rabbit gentleman one morning, as he walked down to the end of his farm. What is it, asked Nurse Jane Fuzzy-Wuzzy, who was washing the breakfast dishes? Is Squeaky Eaky the little cousin mouse down there, Uncle Wiggly? No, Janey, he answered. It is a little turnip of whom I am speaking. It is the littlest turnip I ever saw, not much bigger than a hickory nut, but still strong and healthy. Maybe it's one that isn't ripe yet, said Nurse Jane. Oh, yes, it's ripe, Uncle Wiggly answered. I just pulled it from the ground, with some others I am going to store in my cellar, besides the carrots and similar vegetables for winter. It is ripe all right, but such a little turnip. Come and look at it, Janey. Nurse Jane looked at the little turnip, as Uncle Wiggly had said. It was fully ripe and ready to be pulled, but oh, it was so small. It isn't anything like the big giant carrot we pulled up yesterday, is it, asked the Muscat Lady. I should say not, laughed Uncle Wiggly. Are you going to save such a little turnip, asked Nurse Jane as she saw Uncle Wiggly putting the tiny one on a pile with some others, of large and regular size. Oh, yes, I'll save it, he said. You never can tell when you might need a little turnip. And nowadays, with everything so high, and lollipops may be going to cost two cents a piece, we must save everything. So Nurse Jane went back to her dishes, and Uncle Wiggly walked on over his farm, coming back finally to where he had left the little turnip. I wonder if I will find a use for such a little chap as you, said the Bunny Uncle, speaking out loud and twinkling his nose. I'm sure I much obliged to you for saving me, spoke the little turnip, which could talk rabbit language as well as understand it. I want to be useful to you, Uncle Wiggly, even if you only put me in the soup, or mash me up with some potatoes for your Thanksgiving dinner. Well, thank you, spoke the rabbit gentleman. I'm glad I saved you, even if you are small. Oh, small things are often useful, said the little turnip. I will do my best. Well, of all the air she's giving herself, sneered one of the big turnips, if I had my way she wouldn't be on the same farm with us. It's disgraceful. That's what I say, sniffed another big turnip. Uncle Wiggly was just thinking of going to look at his cabbage, when all of a sudden a big alligator, one of the skillery, scalery kind, hopped out from behind a currant bush and cried. Not so fast, if you please, Mr. Longheirs. Why not, asked Uncle Wiggly, for the alligator had caught him by the coattails. What do you want with me? I want you to come to dinner with me, spoke the skillery, scalery alligator. Uncle Wiggly's pink, twinkly nose turned pale. Well, did he know what that meant? Oh, dear, exclaimed the bunny. I don't want to come to dinner with you. I'm afraid you might bite me by mistake, instead of the bread and butter. No matter what you're afraid of, snapped the alligator, come with me. He was just going to drag Uncle Wiggly off to his den, when all of a sudden the little turnip gave a big jump, helped by a puff of wind, and right in the alligator's eye she landed. Oh, me, my eye, cried the gator, letting go of Uncle Wiggly. Oh, a grain of sand is in my eye and how it hurts. Oh, wow. Oh, I am shedding so many tears. I can't see. Oh, double wow. How that sand hurts. It wasn't the sand at all, but the little midget turnip, no bigger than the head of a hatpin, which was in the gator's eye. And the turnip wriggled around and made the bad creature's eye smart so much, and made such a lot of salty tear water come in it, that he had to run away, and so didn't get Uncle Wiggly after all. So you see, the little turnip did some good, and late that night she dropped out of the gator's eye and was blown back to Uncle Wiggly's farm. And if the snow shovel can climb out of the coal bin and play tag with the water pipe before they both go to sleep in the ash can, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the stones and the chapter 18.