 Hello everyone, I am Narc Survivor. Welcome to my YouTube channel. Please hit the thumbs up button down below to show your support. Hit subscribe and click on notifications to be notified when I upload a new video. And if you would like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me, just go to my website. It is NarcSurvivor.co.uk. Eight things narcissists do when you are upset. When the narcissist senses that you are not satisfied or pleased with the situation, there are certain things that they will do. They may anticipate that you are going to leave them and they may experience abandonment anxiety because they have a sixth sense, a natural ability that gives them an awareness beyond the terms of normal perception so they can instantly pick up on when you are angry or upset because they will sense when you have disconnected from them and they will be able to identify the cause of it which may then trigger one or more of these eight responses. One, love bombing. They may just start love bombing you again, but it is not because they care about you. It is because it serves them and when they do that it may trauma bond you to them because they are giving you a false character. They are showing you who they can be even though they are not about that for real. But it is believable. It is convincing so it is enough to keep you stuck to where you may be happy with them again. But then they will go back to abusing you again so the cycle of abuse continues and the love bombing will never be as good as it was in the beginning because they have already secured you as their source of supply so they become comfortable around you and they feel like they don't need to do what they did for you in the beginning because they are already with you, they have already got you and they presume you are not going anywhere so they will do just enough to make you stay because they know that is all they have to do since you have been starved of love and affection for such a long time. So they assume that even a morsel of love and affection should be enough to change your mind and if it works then they will keep doing it but each time they do it it won't be as effective as it was before. 2. They will manipulate you into a sense of acceptance. The narcissist will sense that you are upset and they will manipulate you into tolerating and accepting it to see it as though their treatment of you is adequate and suitable and they will do this by getting you to identify with it or by using blame and justification so that you begin to think that what they are doing is okay because then you agree with it, you accept it, you believe that this is the type of treatment that you deserve which is exactly what they want because then it allows the cycle of abuse to continue. 3. They will create a sense of hopelessness. When the narcissist can see that you are upset they may just see it as a weakness and then they will try to bring you down even more as a means of controlling you because they will assume that if they can keep you down it's going to prevent you from leaving so if they see that you are down they will match your energy and they will create a sense of hopelessness, a state of despair where there is a lack of optimism and passion and you're forced to accept things as they are which is perfect for them because they're quite happy with the way things are. They don't want things to change, they don't want anything to progress because that would only show them up and make them look bad. They can't be better, they can't meet you there so as long as you feel hopeless and helpless they're satisfied with that. To them that means their job is done, they've achieved their objective. 4. Toxic positivity. When the narcissist sees that you're upset they may often use toxic positivity. When no matter how bad or difficult the situation may be they will maintain this fake positive mindset as though things can improve and they're not being genuinely optimistic or engaging, they're dismissing and validating your feelings, they're mocking and ridiculing you, they're shaming you, they're causing you to feel guilt and overall they're causing you to avoid authentic human emotion which prevents your growth because it enables you to avoid feeling things that might be painful so this essentially creates a sense of hopelessness as well even though they may be acting positive because it's just an act. They're not actually doing anything to rectify the situation, they're pacifying you, they're keeping you at bay, they're subduing you and when you catch on it may make you feel very uncomfortable in their presence because you will realize that this person actually doesn't care at all, they're completely disconnected from your emotions and their own, they gave up on life a long time ago and they expect you to do the same which is why they will often use toxic positivity as a means of getting you to give up and surrender your hopes and ambitions because they assume that it will overwhelm you and leave you doubting yourself. Five, they will ignore you, they will pretend like everything is fine because they're quite comfortable with your unhappiness, they lack empathy so it doesn't affect them and in fact it may even give them supply, it may make them feel better about themselves and their own lives so as long as you don't leave they will be fine and the relationship can go on for years. They may make a small amount of effort if they need to but that's just to keep you there, it's not to make you happy, it's just to prevent you from leaving them because they're really not concerned about your happiness, they lack empathy so it doesn't do anything for them. If anything it just reminds them of their own unhappiness, well if you're unhappy it makes them feel better about themselves so they're going to try to keep you miserable so that they can exist in this delusion where they are happy. Six, ghosting, when you're upset the narcissist may just ghost you, they may do this to punish or manipulate you because the relationship is supposed to be all about them but when you're upset that means it's supposed to be about you and they just don't want to do it, they don't want to be involved in anything that isn't all about them, they may also ghost you to avoid difficult conversations and accountability as well it may look like they're running from you, they're actually running from a reflection of themselves that they don't like but they know that they are the cause of your upset and it triggers their shame, they also fear that you may reject them first so they want to get you before you get them as their greatest fears are rejection and abandonment. Seven, new supply, when the narcissist sees that you're upset they may just seek out new supply because they're anticipating that you're about to leave and they don't want to put in any energy to save the relationship so they will go and find a new supply in order to overcome this as soon as they sense that you're about to pull away they will pull away because they know that you're not happy and they will use your unhappiness with them as motivation to go off and find someone else to prove to themselves that they're not as worthless and inadequate as they actually are and of course it will be much easier for them to make someone else happy after all of the damage and problems they've already caused for you so essentially they're chasing a fantasy where they're greater than what they actually are all they're concerned about is the reflection of themselves that they get from manipulating other people rather than actually doing the work to become that for real. Eight, smear campaign, some narcissist may just go straight to the smear campaign when they can see that you're upset because they see that as a threat to their false image and their way of thinking is that if you're threatening their false image then they need to destroy your reputation to eliminate the threat so they will go all out on a campaign to smear your name and make you look bad or crazy so that it saves their reputation or they may just do it to punish you for rejecting them or exposing them or for just not being happy with them because they expect you to see it as a privilege just to be around them even though they may be treating you horribly they're not even thinking about all of the hurtful things they've been doing to you they're only looking at your reactions to the abuse and when they can see that you're upset they fear that you may reject or expose them so they want to get you before you get them and they also want to punish you for everything you saw wrong with them thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me slash NARC survivor you can book a one-on-one with me on our website it's NARC survivor dot code at UK thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon