 From Hollywood, the NBC Theatre presents... Screen Directors' Assignment. Production, the Ghostbreakers. Director, George Marshall. Star, Bob Hope. The Hollywood Screen Directors present a comedy of terrors. The Ghostbreakers, starring Bob Hope in his original role and introducing the director of the film, George Marshall. Our guest screen director tonight might be said to have some small knowledge of motion pictures. He's been an extra stuntman, prop boy, actor, film editor, cameraman and assistant director. And 34 years ago, he launched his brilliant career as a director of some 385 films. We proudly present the president of the Screen Directors Guild and the director of such fine entertainment as Tap Roots, The Perils of Pauline, Destry Rides Again, and tonight's story, The Ghostbreakers. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. George Marshall. Thank you very much. When we made The Ghostbreakers, the set bore a pretty close resemblance to a case of galloping nightmares, including included in our Chamber of Horrors where such things as ghosts, bats, zombies, witches, and Bob Hope, which you can imagine is probably one of the screwiest parlays on record. And here's the result. And on the air for the first time, The Ghostbreakers, starring Bob Hope as Larry Lawrence and Shirley Mitchell as Mary Carter. If ever a name struck terror into the heart of the underworld, it's the name of Larry Lawrence, intrepid radio reporter and crime buster. Yet only his closest friends know that behind his simple, vacant, foolish smile hides the real Larry Lawrence, simple, vacant, and foolish. We find him now in his office preparing a last, thrill-loaded bloodbath before leaving on his vacation. Oh, so you clam up on Larry Lawrence, huh? Come on, open up. Open up, I say, or I'll drill a hole clear through you. Okay, you ask for it. Take this. And this. And this. Lawrence? Yeah, I can't get this window open. Let me try. It's no use, Miss Coles, it's stuck. I'm a strong man, but... There you are. Miss Coles, I thought I warned you about weightlifting on office hours. There's a Miss Mary Carter to see you, Mr. Lawrence. Miss Carter, is she a redhead or are you wasting my time? You know, I'm due on the air in 15 minutes and I'm waiting for raspy Kelly. Well, she says it's very important, Mr. Lawrence. And she's a blonde. Oh, then put her in category 7B. I'll see her when I get back for my vacation and tell her to leave her telephone number and waist measurement. Mr. Lawrence, please. Please, I'm Mary Carter. I'm sorry, Miss, but I'm working on my secret invention. A real invention? Yeah, but it's a bottle preparation for women who want to get their face lifted. How does it work? I mix nitroglycerin with cold cream. That just goes to show how tough a woman has to be when she deals with Larry Lawrence. Oh, then you're really Larry Lawrence, the brave, strong, dashing Larry Lawrence I've always heard about. Well, what are you waiting for, Miss Coles? Go somewhere and flex your muscles. And tell me when raspy Kelly comes in. Yes, Mr. Lawrence. Mr. Lawrence, I need your help. Ah, yes, don't you all. Poor girl. But I'm dated up for the next month, perhaps some day in May around apple blossom time. You don't understand. Mr. Lawrence, your famous is a crime breaker and gang breaker. And there was that wonderful week in Duluth when I was a home breaker. Oh, I want to purchase your services. I want you to become a ghost breaker. Ghost breaker? I'm sorry, but the only spirits I mess around with come equipped with olive is not shrouds. I'm serious, Mr. Lawrence. I've inherited an island off the coast of Cuba, Black Island, and there's a castle on it called Castillo Maldito. Oh, sure, I've heard of that. Isn't that where Cugat raises Little Maracas? Now, Miss Carter, you're not going to tell me that castle is haunted. Well, this afternoon the deed was turned over to me by a Senor Parada. He told me that no one who ever eats dinner in the castle ever lives until breakfast. You mean there's no post-toasties because of the ghosties? There is a ghost. Senor Parada says it's the ghost of Don Santiago, my great-great-grandfather. That's why I'm afraid, Mr. Lawrence. Now, if you'll come with me to Castillo Maldito, I'll see that your time is well paid for. Yeah, but why let a few ghost rumors frighten you? After all, what's a ghost just a clue-cluck that's lost his clan? What do you need me for? Here, I received this card in the mail today. Let's see. Death waits for you at Black Island. Well, here's your card, Miss Carter. Thank you and good night. You mean you're afraid? You, Larry Lawrence? Afraid? Me? I'm one of the bravest gum shoes in the business. Well, you're acting like a child. Okay, so I'm one of the bravest bubble gum shoes in the business. It's just that I don't like spirits to send fan mail, and besides, tomorrow I'll be in the mountain, so take your ghost postage to somebody else. Ah, that mountain there, that's the life. You go to the window at six o'clock in the morning, open it, climb in, and go to bed. Ah... Oh, fine, I'll see you right away. Miss Carter, if you want an expert in things that go boo-boo-boo, I've got a friend named Crosby. No one else will do, Mr. Lawrence. I'm sailing for Cuba tonight on the rexitania. If you change your mind, I'll be waiting for you in my state. You say? Well, hello, raspy. Say, you sound better. Did you get the frog in your throat a fresh lily pad? I got another Frenchy Duval story for you. It's a killer. Yeah, and so is Frenchy Duval. Say, does he know you're giving me these stories? Sure, he loves it. Good publicity. I know, I plug him or he plugs me. What have you got? Frenchy has himself a new racket. Here's how it works. And now folks, here's the last minute scoop. Frenchy Duval has a nice new racket, baby laundries. You know the kind I mean with a slogan. This is the little one's laundry mat. Frenchy discovered that there were about 2,000 of them in the state all making money. Without even telling his closest pals, he moved in a three-cornered the market. And so today, Frenchy is really cleaning up the hard way. This is Larry Lawrence saying, goodnight. Larry Lawrence will return to the air two weeks from tonight with more low down on the underworld. Now a word about Cronin's coffee. Well, that's that. One more week on the air without a rest and I'd begin to look like Bob Hope. Mr. Lawrence. Oh, hello, Miss Cole. Did you hear the broadcast? Wasn't I great? Wasn't I terrific? Frenchy Duval is on the phone. Wasn't I just leaving? Wonder if he saw her. Courage, Camille. Hello, Frenchy. What's new? Got a tip for you, Larry Boy. Shoot. I had to open my big mouth. What was that? That was Raspy Kelly saying goodbye. Raspy Kelly. But you're not mad at me, are you, Frenchy? No, no, no. I told you, I got a tip for you. A sight and radio reporter was found in a ditch riddled with bullets. Yeah? When did it happen? Probably tomorrow. Wow, that's what I call hot news. Tell me, hey, Frenchy. Oh, not me, not little old Larry. I'm going to put somebody on the spot, boy. Miss Cole, hand me that bottle of spot remover. Hey, Lawrence, I'm taking care of myself, personally. Oh, Frenchy. Frenchy Boy, speak to me. Hello, Mort. Come to think of it, hello, mortician. Why did I bother paying this year's income tax? Where are you going? Cuba. Miss Cole, when it comes to ghosts, I'd rather see one than be one. Ray, I'm so glad you decided to come. Some state room you got on the ship. You ought to see mine, and so far down I can use a propeller to whip up my shaving cream. Say, did you see President Truman in swimming when we passed Key West? No, which one was he? The one in evening clothes. Yes? Radio gram for you, Miss. And there's one for Mr. Lawrence, too. Oh, thank you, Stuart. Who'd know I was aboard? Here's your telegram. Well, isn't that nice? Mind me, it must be from the Cuban Chamber of Commerce. What does it say? See Cuba and die. Hey, wait a minute, signed Frenchy Duval. Stop the ship, man overboard. Stop the ship. Guzzle a manzo. Larry, Larry, please. What? Larry, look at my telegram. What are you excited about? It just says an empty coffin waits on Black Island. Jesus, Pierce Brothers know about this? You think we should make the one friendly call that covers all? And it's signed Senor Mertus. Morte. In Spanish, that means death. I know, I know his brother, rigor mortis. You poor kid, you really are in trouble, aren't you? I'd be in a lot more trouble without you to help me. Yeah, I'm brave. Two gun Larry Lawrence. When I find out who's threatening you, I'll break him in two and use half in the castle and half in the bathroom. Sure, that's me. Courage on the loose. Only it isn't so. What do you mean, Larry? I'm running away from myself from some gangsters in New York. Oh, I didn't know. Look, Mary, we're both in trouble. Let's play it together, huh? You stick by me and I'll stick by me, too. Seriously, Mary, I... You know, you're beautiful. I'm frightened. Hello? This is Senor Parada. Mary, it's Parada, the guy you were telling me about. Who is this peaking? Never mind about me. What's the idea of scaring Miss Carter with all that ghost stuff? Ghost? I'm sorry, but I must have the wrong state room. Hello? Hello? Hello, Senor Parada? Yes? Oh, I noticed Miss Carter's name on the passenger list. Is she here? Miss Carter? Who are you? That's right, Jeff Montgomery. May I come in? Oh, please do. We met at the store club a few weeks ago. Yes, of course. Mr. Montgomery, this is Mr. Lawrence. You traveling to Cuba, Mr. Montgomery? Yes, my home's in Havana. Oh, we're going to Havana, too. And then on to Castillo Maldito on Black Island. I'd heard that Jinx was wished off on... not you. Yeah, we won two glorious weeks there on Ladies Be Seated. That place is evil. There's the legends about the ghosts. And there's said to be a zombie on the island, the son of a native woman who looks after the place. Zombie? Yes, some voodoo priest seemed to have the power to bring the dead back to life. You see them once in a while walking around with despondent, hopeless, staring eyes. You mean like Republicans? Please be careful, Miss Carter. If you insist on going to Black Island, be sure you go well protected. Well, what do I look like, an egg beater? There's nothing in that island but ghosts, evil spirits and zombies. Ghosts, evil spirits and zombies. When's the next boat back to New York? But what about Frenchie de Val? Him, he's just trying to kill me, that's all. Between Black Island and Frenchie de Val, I'll take... Yes, Larry. I'll take... Darling. Black Island, here I come. You are listening to the Hollywood Screen Director's presentation of The Ghostbreakers, starring Bob Hope with Shirley Mitchell, and introducing the director of the film George Marshall. It's silhouette broken by the menacing outline of Castillo Maldito against the night sky. And approaching the island, a small rowboat carrying Larry Lawrence and Mary Carter. Boy, no wonder the native boatman won't come here at night. Look at the place, what a ruin. Looks like CBS pulled a raid on it. Just a few more strokes, Larry. We're almost there. I've been hauling in these oars along and my blisters are forming pyramid clubs. Here's the dock. Here, let me help you out. Oh, thank you. There. Lafayette, we are here. I think Lafayette's here, too. The old woman caretaker that Jeff told us about. She may be just trying to scare us. She's wasting her time, we're scared already. There she is, mother zombie. Action strike, huh? What do you want? Could we interest you in a subscription to Weird Stories Magazine? Here, I did the Castel Maldito. No, my island. Sounds like Robin and Rose mother. Gee, great night for a murder. Who told you? I was going to get the laugh. Other men come in. Tell me, does the Greyhound bus make a rest stop here? You guys, to Boris Karloff. Let's get into the castle. Hand me the flashlight, Mary. There. I wonder who lived here last. Must have been Jolson, the front porch is down on his knees. Turn your flashlight to the left. A suitcase. It's almost new. One of the people who came to the island must have left it here. Let's see the initials. FD. Frenchie du Val. Frenchie, come on, let's get out of here. There he is. Put out the light. Okay, here, behind this post. Come out. I'm not here, I'm over there. Let's go. Here in this room. Now we know who one of our guests was. What about the other two, huh? I don't know, but I think I could spit and hit one of them. Oh, it's just the wind. If it is, it's the first time I've ever heard a breeze with adenoids. Strangers. You never played Philadelphia. Hey, strangers, that's us. Zombie, kill! Sorry, but I got to see your union card. Where are you stunned him with your flashlight? Help me drag him into the closet. Okay. And you told me you were a coward. Yeah, what do you know? I'm brave. Hey, Zom. Everything okay? What did he say? He said, with men who know their castles best at zombies, two to one. Come on, let's see what else is going on in Nightmare Alley. If this is a short interlude of organ music, let's switch to another station. Come on, Larry, let's find out who's playing that organ. Yeah, and those things are on it are either coffins or boxes of king-sized Cuban cigars. Nobody here now. Wonder who was playing it. Patrillo won't like it either. Maybe somebody put a nickel in it. There's no one there. Boy, that's ridiculous. Only a ghost could do that, and there's no such thing. If there really are ghosts, I'd lose my mind. I'd end up in the snake pit. Move over, Olivia. Do you see what I see? On the organ bench. It's coming out of thin air. Too many reducing tablets. Maybe they're drafting again. What's he talking about? I don't know. Ask him. You ask him. I feel too ghastly to be ghostly. March. And floating toward that empty coffin. It's getting in. Gee, that ghost gave some performance. Yeah? I'm going to find out what's really in that box. Look, on the side, there's a plate. It's the coffin of Don Santiago, my ancestor who built the castle. Let's get the lid up. Larry, there's nothing but a skeleton. Yeah, old man Moe sure is dead. Larry, I think he was trying to tell me something. Something about the marching men. He wants me to look for something. Look, if he forgot anything when he left, there's no sense looking for it now. Let's go. Don't forget the Frenchie de Val is looking for us, and there's two other characters around somewhere. Larry, turn your flashlight over there, above the organ. Isn't that an inscription? Can you make it out? I think God's treasures in abundance lie. Something heavenly key, heavenly key before they die. There's more to this than meets the eye. The ghost. It said something about a key, Larry. How can we look for a key? We haven't even got a keyhole. Well, keys could mean music. Look, let's keep moving around. If we stay in one spot, we're dead. Dead. I wonder who thought up that expression. The marching men must have something to do with it. We'll ask them on the 4th of July. Come on. Larry, there. On the wall. Aren't those marching men? Those little figures carved into the stone? Now, if I draw a horizontal line through this marching man, and one parallel to it through this one, and another one, and two more... This is a fine time to start playing tic-tac-toe. No, don't you see? It becomes a bar of music. That's what the ghost was trying to tell us. The key is a... Keep playing. Look, down Santiago's coffin. It's shifting off its base. And I don't feel so good in myself. Keep playing. Higher, higher. Light of stairs. There's nothing down there but some dusty old dungeons. Let Jack Benny keep his money. Come on. Go first. Okay. But remember, I'm a lead-off man on the way back. Say, there's a lantern down here. Yes, and railroad tracks, like in a mine. Yeah, railroad tracks. It reminds me of my hotel room in Scranton. Come on, keep going. Look out. You'll trip over that rail. Oh! Oh! Oh, did you hurt yourself? What did you land on? This is a comedy. What do you think? I'm... Mary, look at this. What is it? I've seen this stuff before. Silver ore, the real thing. Mary, you're rich. Congratulations, Miss Carter. It's in your pirata. So you're a pirata. What's the gun for? You can't get away with it. I'll shoot. Now listen, pirata. No! Not you! Behind you! Look out! Yes, it's Jeff. It's too bad I had to wound you, pirata, but you'll soon be put out of your misery. Miss Carter, I came here to warn you. He's mad. Insane. Against the wall, all three of you. I warned you, Mary, but you chose to ignore my messages. What's this all about? About a vein of silver as wide as the island. I discovered it, and it's mine. You hear? This mine is mine. And what's mine stays mine. Thank you, Gertrude Stein. Okay, so it's yours, but let Mary go. No! Nobody's going to carry any tails out of here. All right, come on out of there. I'll get your bottle up. Come on. Who's that? Frenchie de... It's the police. They've got you trapped, Montgomery. They'll never get me. Not now. This is mine. They'll have to shoot it out. You tell them, kid. Get through. Finish. Never! Frenchie and Jeff. I'll match you to see who faints first. Move over. Stop hogging the floor. And a fun farewell to Cuba. We leave your castle to Mother Zombie and her bouncing baby boy. Yes. And with Pirata taking care of the mine, we'll never have to come back. And now that I'm rich, I'm going to back you in a television show. Yeah, after all those ghosts, it'd be nice to try out a new medium. With a hundred million dollars. What, honey? What will we do with a hundred million dollars? Well, we can always open another hotel in Texas. Get Dorothy Lamour to broadcast. You don't understand about the ghost. It must have been real. No, honey. It was just one of Montgomery's tricks. There's no such things as ghosts. I think we have her set in the audience. NBC Theatre brings you a motion picture of a man set against the background of memorable music. The story is Music for Millions, and our star will be June Allison. And now here again is tonight's star, Bob Hope, and screen director George Marshall. Tell me, Georgie Boy, you used to be a fast man with a set of golf clubs. Do you still linger on the links? Sorry, Bob. We don't have time to give lessons. Why don't you buy a good book on the game? Buy one? I wrote one last week, and my life's blood on the six-hole at Palm Springs. There I was. See, George, a four-iron shot from the green. I was standing like this. You're standing wrong. Get this kid. I was a director. I'm standing wrong. Who taught you how to play golf? Bobby Jones? Right, he did. Who taught you? Some little Scotch caddy called Crosby. But I don't play with him anymore. Why not? Why not? There's a fella who puts grease on your putter, cheats on his scorecard by making his nines upside down, builds a furrow on the green with an electric shaver so that the ball has to roll into the cup. For love. Well, neither will he. Good night. Good night, Bob. Thanks a lot. Good night, folks. Good night, Bob Hope and George Marshall. The Ghostbreakers was presented through the courtesy of Paramount Pictures, currently releasing Elias Nick Biel, starring Ray Malan, Audrey Totter and Thomas Mitchell. Bob Hope will soon be seen in the Paramount picture, Sourful Jones with Lucille Ball and Mary Jane Saunders. George Marshall's next Paramount release will be my friend Irma, starring John Lund, Marie Wilson and Diana Lin, and NBC's Al D. Martin and Jerry Lewis. Included in tonight's cast were Shirley Mitchell, Donald Morrison, Sheldon Leonard, Jack Edwards, June Foray, Ken Christie, Betty Moran and Dan Riss. The Ghostbreakers was adapted for radio by Richard Allen Simmons and original music was composed and conducted by Henry Russell. Production was under the supervision of Howard Wiley, associate producer Ray Dietrich. Your announcer has been Frank Barton. Listen again next week when the NBC Theatre presents Screen Directors' Assignment, Production Music for Millions for June Allison. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.