 I'm an everyday woman, woman, woman, in every way, yeah, yeah, I'm living my life, living day by day. Welcome to Every Way Woman. There are some major changes happening in the talk show world. Live from Los Angeles, here's Every Way Woman. Different in a culture that expects you to follow the norm, beyond race. The force of clothing, race, you know. Amber, different. You are different. What was, you know, maybe expected of you in ways, and you've really been a true trailblazer in your community. And, you know, what was that like for you? First of all, I stand on shoulders of a lot of African American women and men. I think for me and my family, they want to stay in their small city, and I just saw a bigger picture. That's what I meant when I said you're different. You saw the big picture. They know I'm crazy. But I mean, my thing is, I don't want to be different. I mean, I like being different, but I think normal to me is different. So I don't know. I grew up in a military family, so we moved around a lot. And so there wasn't really a norm. There wasn't a norm. Nothing was normal when I was growing up. I found out that it wasn't normal by talking to normal people. That's how I learned. I mean, I'm being a mix. Sometimes I can blend into... What do you mix with? I'm Korean and Irish. Wow. When I lived in a Latin community, when I first came to LA, and I went to the grocery store and everyone was Spanish, and I was just trying to pick food. I didn't understand what some other things were. They spoke to me in Spanish, and I go, I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish. And this one man got so upset with me and going off in Spanish. And I'm looking at him like, I don't speak Spanish. I'm sorry. Did I say something? And he goes, why are you trying to be somebody or not? Why do you think you're trying to be white? Why are you letting go of your culture? Why are you this and this and this? And I go, he thought I was half Spanish. Wow. And I remember looking at him going, I'm Korean. And I had to speak in Korean. I was like, no, I don't speak Korean. And he's looking at me like, wow. And he kind of walked away. Well, now that you're talking about the Latino community, I think in the Latino community, what's the older generation? It's like, you have to be married. You have to have children. And it's like, I always get that when I go to parties. Hi, mi hija, no estás casada todavía. No tienes hijos. Hi. You know? It already passed, you know? And I'm like, I get offended. I'm like, I don't want to have children. I don't want to get married right now. You know? What do you mean it already passed? That's what they tell you. Well, I worry about that. And I always tell my mom on the stir because I grew up in the Midwest in a very conservative community where most of the people were married by the age of 22, had a baby by 25. And I left four days after college, moved across country. I'm not married. I don't have a child. I'm not going to have 30 wondering what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. And I'm a black sheep. I'm like a crazy spin switcher. But you know what though? I've always, you know, even just within my family, I've always been considered the one who, you know what, depending on the mood of how they're addressing me, I'm either the one that marches to the beat of my own drum or, you know, if they're in a less benevolent mood and I'm the crazy one. But I've always been comfortable doing my own thing. But I think African-American culture is different. Oh, absolutely. We don't. We look at life like be happy, go after what it is you need to do, and take care of your business. And so I think sometimes we get the stereotype of saying, you know what, oh, African-Americans don't do this or African-Americans don't do that. And I think that's a myth. Sometimes we do step out the boundaries and we go for it, you know? You know what? You're absolutely right because I can't tell you how many people looked at me with a side-eye question mark when I told them that this past February, I went to Japan to go snowboarding. They're like, wait a minute. You went all the way. Did they look at you like that? Camping, and I can't tell you. Right. I can't tell you how difficult it is to get some African-American friends to go camping with me, you know? But I think our generation now is a little bit different because we have a little more freedom and we see life a little bit different instead of the confined segregation kind of, I have to say that social media in that way I think has been so eye-opening because we get to see how other cultures live. Not just other cultures, but other cultures get to see what we do. No, no, no. They don't really get to see it. They get to see an idealized version of what we present to them. Exactly. Not anymore. Not anymore. But you know what those are? Not with us, baby. I think some of the younger ones are kind of turning into the TMI generation. So with them and the younger ones, you get on their social media, it's like, why don't you tell that to people? I mean, they just, they're everything. I know. There's a lot of things. But there's good things too. Sure. Like us. And like us. But I think it's interesting too because in some ways then instead of people wanting to be different, they're seeing what they want to do and what they want to be like everybody else. I think I want to raise my children with their culture and letting them know who they are, but then also letting them know they're not bound to the structure that society put on them. You can go and you can be whoever you want to be and still be proud African-American and still be who you are. Yeah, that's beautiful. More when we return. After this commercial break, more Every Way Woman. Are you an Every Way Woman? I think Tom is here to talk about a little gynecology 101, which you should and should not expect from your appointment. Dr. Sherry, you guys are a little scary. You know that, right? Just going through a gynecologist is always going to be scary. We love you, but you are a little scary. We try to make it a little less scary. But listen, really, why should women go to a gynecologist? Well, of course when you become sexually active, you want to start seeing a gynecologist. And if you're under 21, your daughter will tell you, Mom, I'm tired of seeing the pediatrician. I'm ready to see a gynecologist. Now, I start out by saying it's scary. What should I expect? Especially on my first visit to a gynecologist, what should I expect? Well, you should expect to have your doctor talk to you about your history, your family history, and all the other things that your primary care doctor, if you aren't seeing them yet, will talk to you about your vaccinations, your health history. Are you exercising? Are you eating well? Do you smoke? They'll talk to you about that. And then they'll ask you if you have any concerns, any reason you specifically came to see them. Have you been recently sexually active? And maybe we're worried you might have a sexually transmitted disease. So I have a 17-year-old and a 15-year-old, and I don't believe they're sexually active. But when should I introduce them to a gynecologist, have them have a pelvic exam, or a pap smear? That's a great question for most parents of children, women that you wonder, when are my little girls going to start being sexually active? I'm sure you've talked a little bit to them about sexual activity. I have. And they all see a pediatrician every year, up until they're about 18. But there's a transition between the pediatrician and a gynecologist, where you can ask your daughters, see, would you be interested in seeing a gynecologist? That means there's more that they want to talk about with a gynecologist. And that's a great start. But you know, Dr. Thomas, there's an illusion that the gynecologist is only for when you're sexually active, but we both know that cervical cancer and other things can come out of a pap smear and out of a pelvic exam, right? So they don't know about that. So how do I talk to them about that? Well, cervical cancer and abnormal pap smears are later in life. Most women aren't going to have a pap smear before 21. Okay. So that you won't need to worry about if a young girl is having gynecologic issues, a gynecological discharge, or something the pediatrician can't help, then they will refer you to a gynecologist. But most girls between the ages of about 16 to 21 become sexually active. And that's when they should think about seeing a gynecologist or if their primary healthcare provider does pediatrics and also sees adult women, that's a great transition they don't even have to make. So when I'm at the gynecologist, is there anything that I shouldn't share with you when I come in to see you, doctor? Is there anything I shouldn't share with you? Oh, you should find a gynecologist you can share everything with. Okay. Because it's so important that you are able to tell that doctor everything. That's how we help you if you are having an extramarital affair. Wow. If you had an unwanted sexual experience. We need to know so that we can help you right away. Now, is there a certain age that I don't have to see you anymore? That I'm done. No more plastic clamps. It's not after that first exam as you would like it to be. So there's a point when if a woman's had a hysterectomy that she doesn't need a pap smear but at 65 if she stops having has had pap smears at all normal she can stop having pap smears. But a pelvic exam is very important. We detect things like rectal cancers and other pelvic masses. So I recommend you have a pelvic exam every couple of years the rest of your life whether you have a pap smear or not. And how do I look for a gynecologist? I'm giving you my heart. How do I look for a gynecologist? That's a great, great question. When you move into an area I'd ask your girlfriends who do you see. Then I'd look online, check the doctor's credentials. There's so many different evaluations of physicians where you can see if people like a particular doctor or not. And it also tells you where we went to school and if we actually practice in that area. For example, as a gynecologist some of us are just general OBG-like animals but say you need an infertility problem it'll give you that doctor's credentials or an oncologist for a cancer or for pelvic surgery and continents or prolapse that's what I do. You can see our credentials, see what we treat and so in essence my gynecology gynecologist is actually my good friend, right? Absolutely. Dr. Thomas, thank you so much for joining us. In order to take care of others you have to take care of yourself. Stay tuned to Everyway Woman. We'll be back with Everyday Fitness. Are you an Everyway Woman? Are you an Everyway Woman? Coming up, Heather is going to be talking to us about body blueprint. I have no idea what that is, do you? Find out right here at Everyway Woman. When you start working with a personal trainer they need to do a whole body assessment. Our fitness expert Heather Bins is here to tell us about her body blueprint that she does with all her clients. What is a body blueprint? Well for me it's the term that I give to the complete fitness assessment that I do with my clientele. So for example, not only does it involve a body fat assessment and a strength assessment which is common for most trainers but in addition I do a cardiovascular assessment a flexibility assessment, a physical and balance assessment and a functional movement screen to really make sure I can make the perfect program for each and every client. So is that like day one? They need to do this with you? Yes, it's the first appointment. So what kinds of things do they need to do for you to assess all these items? First, show up, just dress comfortably. That's the key. It's nothing to be afraid of, it's nothing scary and it requires a lot of work and causes any pain or anything. It's just me putting them through a series of movements so I can see how their body moves, what's happening in each joint area so I can not only get them to their goal whether it may be fat loss or building muscle or training for race, but at the same time helping prevent injury in the future because I'm correcting those dysfunctional movement patterns and the imbalances that we have from everyday life. Absolutely, so I don't need to cram on push-ups if I'm meeting you for the first time. Well not cram on push-ups, but you may do some. So I definitely have knee problems and I'm prone to those back problems. Are those things that you can tell? Yes, exactly. Based on when we do the screening and how your body moves in the certain movements that I have you go through, it's going to tell me what muscles are underactive or overactive and basically what that means is which muscles are firing all the time and other muscles are hardly firing at all so that we can create more of a balance in that muscular system in your body so that we can put you back in one piece so you're moving properly and you're not causing any pain so how much do your shoes matter in your gait and all that? Well in regards to running it's extremely important to have the right running shoes for running because you have to get a gait analysis and that's exactly the word to use I'm surprised not everyone knows that. Well because I have my knee problems so I wonder about that. So when you're doing the assessment do you say you run a certain way you need to get a different shoe before I can even start working with you? Side of doing the body blueprint and everything that's more when I'm having a client come to me for whatever it may be strength training sometimes it is rain training but then I send them to a running specialist that can actually do the gait analysis on them I can see the precursors of it but I actually let someone else do that who specializes in running shoes I don't specialize in running shoes but I get them there So that's not important with strength training to... Well you do want the right shoe but it's not necessarily one to have your whole gait analyzed you just want a shoe that's stable so for example a lot of times I recommend a cross training shoe so not only is it stable in a forward and backward motion but also side to side and then that's pretty much what you need in the gym And how much do you work with people as far as what they're eating and their nutrition? All the time. Nutrition is a huge part of getting to any goal whatever it may be so I always give nutrition guidance to my clients because that's to be honest a majority of it sometimes Because you know I know a lot of people okay I'm working out so I can eat whatever I want like me and as much chocolate as I want is there truth to that? Yeah that's true there are people that do that and to be honest when someone does start working out yes you can splurge a little bit and that's part of life I mean I'm not telling my clients they can't eat anything that they don't love because then it wouldn't be a realistic Thank you we can work together Perfect but it's about moderation and you can still enjoy those little pleasures in life it's just about definitely using moderation But if you don't have your diet on track can you get the results you want still? You can. I've never heard that. It's just going to take a lot more hard work on the other aspect but nutrition is still a part of it. Okay because that's what I think about I'm like well it's going to be you know like 20 more reps that I'd have to do to work out that little brownie bite I mean is that how it plays out basically? Not necessarily no it's different with every client it depends on what your goal is it's kind of hard to say in the general terms but nutrition is a huge part of it and it's a way with eating some of the good stuff Okay and when you have how long does it take when you do the blueprint to get them on track to like where they can actually do the routine you want them to do? Okay well the blueprint usually takes at least an hour sometimes a little bit more because I'm really going into the history of the client in regards to medical history surgeries physical fitness history because between all of that and the results that I find then I'm also finding out what is their goal because their goal is to get them to where they want to get as quickly as possible but at the same time I kind of help fix and correct at the same time and then we go into a strength program but the assessment itself is about an hour or so Okay so you see you do it in conjunction you like fix them and they don't even know it Sometimes that's the case I like your style So when you're thinking about working with a personal trainer you really want someone who is going to do a full assessment on you so whether they call it a body blueprint or whatever you know full analysis they need to make sure they're customizing their workout plan for you We'll be back with more Every Way Woman There's more to come with Every Way Woman So I'm here with Jacqueline Jacqueline you sent us an email and in that email you said that women over 40 are being ignored by the media Why did you feel you had to send us that email Why did you have to take the time to write it? Well it's true because most fashion ads and media focuses on youth youth youth so we kind of age out of glamour at 35 where if we're being advertised to it's about the appliances and the SUVs and the laundry detergent but a lot of us when we come of age when I say you hit your 30s and your 40s this is when you want to really express yourself and then we're looking for representation and we don't see it as often as I think we would like to But why did you have to send me the email because I know you watched the footage we did telling why we created the show and when I read the email I was like she gets it but why did you take the time to write me the email what were you going through what were you thinking Well I mean I personally freelance as a fashion model and I'm not because I'm 45 I don't get to do fashion pictures unless I do them on my own which I find absurd because I love clothes and I love the artistry of clothes and I love to express myself through clothes and like how come I can't see someone who looks like me in the clothing app. Okay so you wrote the email what were going through your mind because you told me you said I'm fabulous fabulous well we are fabulous look at you look at what you're wearing this is amazing we need representation so for example Dr. Ben Mary from Cambridge University did an entire study on this 2500 American and Canadian women and he showed them fashion ads with different models in the same Diane von Frustenberg rack dress which she's famous for the famous rap dress which I love but the models was the classic 19 year old very thin Caucasian model and then he had an older model he had a plus size model he had an ethnic model and he found that when the women looked at these ads and they're all the same with the beautiful hair and the beautiful makeup the artistry is the same when they look at these ads their desire to buy the garment went up 200 to 300 percent if they saw a model that somehow represented them and he said the fashion industry this is his conclusion the fashion industry has it all wrong says fashion industry thinks we want to be skinnier younger versions of ourselves so how do you feel when you see those ads you know what I rather see another woman that represent my age you tell me you're fabulous but how do you feel how does it make you feel when you see another woman that's 19 years old you know really you're trying to advertise to a 40 year old woman what goes to you the 19 year old is beautiful I can acknowledge her for that when I see them put Nicole Kidman who is much closer to my age in the ad I go oh look that's kind of what I would look like in those clothes it doesn't make you want to go out because you're being represented so you feel like you're not being represented no it's it's getting better but it's not very common at this point right now a celebrity who's older is starting to appear and a supermodel who's older is starting to appear as women what can we do well we can call for it this research study called for it the dove ads there was this massive consumer increase in dove when they showed the every real woman and I think what's happening is the more that women voice and clamor for this the more brands will take notice and go maybe we should include them well you know as women we control the pocket blur we control what comes in and out the house because we do the shopping we do the list and we actually go out and buy it so kind of the the responsibility of shiffing this can fall on the woman she doesn't have to buy these products so as again as a woman in her 40s I don't feel like oh I'm gonna go buy that because I'm 19 year old is wearing it we can't relate to her because that's your daughter's age exactly and so I could and you've been there done that right so it's like I can see basically women especially above 40 they're looking at their granddaughter so you had an opportunity to talk to an advertising agency about I'm over 40 I'm fabulous I want to be representative what would you say to them you know I would say it's real easy to make a young girl look amazing in a photograph in a dress because she has no curves she has no hair she has perfect skin but what about you and I would say you know I feel like I'm beautiful I'm mature and wise and I now want to express myself through garments that I can afford to buy which I could not afford to buy when I was 20 so the designers now I can go buy them but I can't see in the ads or on the runways how would I look in that dress Tom Ford I know who Tom Ford is he did an entire runway show with women and actresses of all ages and he had them sauntering out in the clothes and that's the moment I fell in love with Tom Ford because he was talking to me okay well thank you very much for sharing your experience about being over 40 and fabulous and don't go away we'll be right back with more yeah yeah Every Way Woman gives back to the community go to everywaywoman.com to find out how you can match our donations of undergarments for needy kids thanks for getting to know Every Way Woman This has been an Every Way Woman production I'm an everyday woman woman woman in every way yeah yeah I'm living living day by day