 episode one six that means it's sixteen but which is favorite man and favorite host Ahmed Ali coming to you live from the holy city of Karbala of course on Imam Hussain 3 TV but let me say this sixteen nights of Ramadan absolutely beautiful which you guys tonight is the third Thursday night of Ramadan so it means Karbala is packed absolutely packed and you know I'm enjoying myself as well as you guys should as well you know you guys should enjoy yourself but you know I don't want to talk a lot tonight I just want to say that whoever participates in the show will have their names place in this fishbowl right here halfway you know quarter-way filled name place in this fishbowl for a chance to win a free trip to Karbala all you got to do is participate at the end of Ramadan my blessed hand will go into this blessed fishbowl and take out a blessed name to come on a blessed journey to the blessed land of Karbala a lot of blessings tonight but let's go take a very quick break and check out what's trending now who likes to vape who vapes I do vaping is we don't want to we don't want to try but you know I won't say anything but let's check out these charts right here these charts are skyrocketing and five years five years number of vapors globally in five years look at that or seven years look at that this is crazy so seven million twenty eleven now there's almost 45 million 42 almost 45 million now top 10 markets for vaping the US is killing it with vaping we're gonna get another chart let's let's take a look at the another chart all right this was same one okay okay okay okay all right so I'll just say it out because I read this today on BBC and honestly the business in in vaping is crazy at one form from four point two billion dollar industry to twenty two point five billion dollars in 2016 2018 it's crazy I'm one of the guys that vapes and honestly it's better than smoking cigarettes and better than smoking you know because it's portable it's go around wherever you go but what else is trending this is actually sad because if you're not a fan of real Madrid but you're a fan of Zezo Zezo Aziz Zena Dean Zaidan has retired from coaching real Madrid the 45 old said in a conference that he said taking the decision not to continue next year with with Real Madrid this is very very sad for for me I don't I don't I'm not a fan of Real Madrid but I'm a fan of Zezo Zena Dean Zaidan so hopefully he has a as a good and healthy life in front of him but great shout-out huge shout-out from Hashtag Gellenty and special about Ali all right so that's it with what's trending let's go check out what tonight's topic is because I know you guys are you know thirsty for it yeah so welcome back we are live in the holy city of Karbala the late night talk is once again episode 16 of the special Ramadan series and tonight's we're trying to talk about some very special people parents parents are the best thing or the best people that are ever happened in our life the only people that really care the much or the most for us if they're with you God bless them and if they're not may their souls rest in peace but during our childhood they take care of us they pay everything for us even when our piggy bank piggy bank is full and we have pocket money they still pay for us they take care of us and one of the most important things is they guide us during our teenager young adult life they tell us what's right and what's wrong and to many including myself they become their best friend they become our best friend however as we grow older know what or not they also grow as well they grow older as well so and what a lot of people may know or may not know the old people are vulnerable to diseases both physical and mental they start to develop mental illnesses after a while such as dementia or even become physically ill as well or physically disabled in some cases the care for them gets more and more difficult as they grow older because it causes sometimes it causes for discomfort within the family and for the relatives as well factor aside from physical and mental health it's a difference in generation and what I mean by that for example if you're 16 and your father is like 65 or 75 and you're trying to do something and he's not allowing you because he doesn't his mentality cannot take it in because there's a huge gap of generation so he might not understand you so in that case what he does is he refutes you from doing that he doesn't he doesn't allow you to do that however vice versa sometimes he tells you to do something like getting that fishbowl cut you know that the bowl cut where no one does not not now these days but like your dad says you know what this is nice you have to go and do it then you just look like an idiot in school but you know but if you do have that it's kind of tough to deal with they become old because they're old school they can't keep pace with with this generation especially this generation the spoiled ones now the change of generation in addition to the mental and physical disabilities that they suffer from old people go through sometimes it causes their children to get tired of them they don't know how to deal with their parents if they get older they don't have the experience now therefore leading them to taking their parents to nursing homes now tonight on hashtag and see we're trying to celebrate global parents day and we're trying to find out and your question for tonight is simple would you put your parents in nursing homes very very simple what you have to do is pick up the phone dial or open WhatsApp dial the number shown right there and let us know what you guys think plus nine six four seven seven four zero six seven eighteen thirty six do you think that when your parents grow older you're gonna put them in person in nursing homes or would you not put them and let us know why the advantages of putting them and it is advantages of putting them in nursing homes you can talk about that as we get to talk about later on the show as well but we do apologize for not going live on Facebook there is a technical difficulty happening so inshallah it's either we'll go very soon or we will go live tomorrow inshallah on Facebook but so that's it let's take a very short break and come back to look at tonight's topic many people unfortunately they have to go through a very difficult situation in making up the decision whether to take their parents to nursing home or not you know because parents are the most loved ones to our heart especially me my parents mean the world to me but let's take a look at some of the advantages and some of the disadvantages of putting your parents in nursing homes you know there are some advantages we'll should get to talk about now one of the most prominent advantage of putting your family or putting your parents or parents and nursing home is that there is a professional team expert medical team that give medical the proper medical attention to your parents around the clock so that means you don't have to you know you don't have to go and teach yourself everything you need to know and how to take care of all people now nursing homes are also staffed with people that know how to deal with a specific situation when it does happen when old people get old when you know our parents get old they tend to always sometimes forget not socialize a lot so they provide that atmosphere so hence they have social activities and facilities with social activities where the old folks get to socialize among themselves another advantage of nursing home is that nursing homes are evaluated every year by the Medicare so you can make sure that your loved ones are staying in safe in a safe and sound nursing home now some are also providing new nursing homes in Canada and the US they're providing the person so for example if you put your mom or dad in nursing home they provide you with a live feed on your phone from the camera in the room so you can see and check out what your dad or what your mom is doing that's an advantage as well now relying on nursing homes can sometimes put fewer demands on the family if you're busy if you don't have time if you're all day busy with work you don't have time to take care of your parents which is something very important for the guys that run business you don't get that time to spend it with your parents so what you can do and the advantage let someone else take care of your parents for you but let's we just receive a text message from say that could some naqvi from Pakistan she says sending parents to nursing homes is one of the most pathetic things one can do their countless sayings of Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him as Pauli progeny and Ahlul Bayt peace be upon them showing us the status of parents and the curse on the ones who disobey their parents thank you very much good soon for joining us tonight now your name has already been placed in in this fishbowl in this blessed fishbowl right here but we do remind everyone to call in and let us know what they think of tonight's question now before the before that text message we were talking about some of the advantages now of course when there's an advantage there's a disadvantage now when you're putting your parents in nursing homes the first disadvantage of putting them in that place is you know when you come back from work or when you're leaving to work you get to see your parents early in the morning when you come back from work you're tired you get to see your parents and that great smile your mom gives your dad gives you as soon as you walk in to your house which is something beautiful it just increases self self-esteem and it makes you really feel welcomed in that house that you're walking in which is something absolutely beautiful you know the relationship that a person can have with an older father or mother can really strong in the relationship with that same person and his son because if you do have a son and he sees you putting your parents in nursing home then guess what whatever goes around comes around as the same goes but several cases of abuse is also another disadvantage of putting your parents in nursing homes if you go to YouTube simply write abuse in nursing homes you will find many cases of abuse because the people that are you know working at nursing homes you don't know when they lose their patience old people need a lot of patience a lot and they nag which a lot of people don't like including myself all people like to nag if they don't see something done they keep on repeating the same thing not everyone can take that in not everyone can bear that so they need a lot of patience the person working with the old age which results in most of the time resulting into abuse another disadvantage is how expensive old old age homes are 900 as of as of 2012 $248 per room so if you're putting your parent or parents in nursing homes if you're taking one room or two rooms one room is $248 so that means in a year you're spending $90,520 which is crazy to be filthy rich to put your parents there are cheaper homes but you can't really guarantee the satisfaction of your dad or mom and and if you know if you're trying to put your parents in there into cheap nursing homes then they're probably anyway I don't want to start saying random stuff but no one another disadvantage is that no one will care for your parents as much as you will you know when your parent wants something in nursing homes yes sometimes it might be done right away but most of the times it won't whereas you at home you feel that high respect towards your parents so you're obligated to go and do that thing you know that high respect that grows from you being a child up until you go up that right there is very strong and sometimes you nursing homes can't offer that 90% of nursing homes are understaffed so the demands of old folks won't be met and that's and in that potential threat of accidents might occur and there's a high chance that they will occur another disadvantage of putting your parents in nursing homes that depending on the persons or the individuals condition a nursing home might increase their illness so if you have a mom or dad that are suffering from depression are suffering from amnesia are suffering from Alzheimer's not all nursing homes know how to deal with that they're not experienced not all them are experienced with dealing with Alzheimer's because Alzheimer's is a very dangerous disease that a person can go through especially in the old age another disadvantage of nursing homes when you have to put and when there's no nursing home close to you you have to travel long distances just to go and see your parent just to go and check up on them and that's no disadvantage but let's go and check out what the public has to say about tonight's topic would you put your parents in nursing homes would you put your parents in a nursing home and no I personally me when it comes to parents I believe that the struggle they went through to raise us as kids and you know the moms to give birth to us that when they get older it should be our duty to look after them as well so to leave them in a nursing home for me I don't agree with that would you put your parents in a nursing home no well my culture being Irish it's not something that's really done you know you always you always look after your family and your grandparents and your parents and it's not really the done thing would you put your parents in a nursing home yeah that old thank you very much for those who joined us they also joined us in the previous episodes but I guess that there's only two people or three people in London that's great no I'm kidding but thank you very much for those who joined us in the public opinion but some people three two people said no they wouldn't and one person said they would if they get old we just received another text message from most of them in the UK he says he says I think that nursing homes are right for old parents that have mental illness because if they stay at home with the kids they might have an effect on the kids wow okay thank you very much Mustafa from the UK so let's write his name down aha okay nice Mustafa from the UK okay okay Mustafa okay okay thank you thank you very much now your name could also be placed just like Mustafa's name and just like the zooms name your name can be placed in this fishbowl right here by joining the show participating during this live show we do apologies once again that we're not live on Facebook hopefully inshallah we can solve those technical difficulties and inshallah tomorrow we will be live definitely I'll ensure that we'll be live on Facebook inshallah now before that text message we were talking before the public opinion we were talking about the disadvantages of putting your parents into nursing homes now one of the important things of keeping in mind especially when a person is a follower of the Adil Bayt and a Muslim we have to look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has made incumbent upon us towards our parents now Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala which is very interesting because in a few narrations if you were to go examine the Islamic history which a lot of people have to do he compares his obedience with the obedience of the Prophet Muhammad his respect the same as respecting Prophet Muhammad the same as respecting the imams however there's something very interesting that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in the Qur'an he makes his obedience very important and it's a scale if your parent if you obey your parents so if you obey your parents you obey God if you disobey your parents and you're trying to obey God then that's not going to work good luck trying to obey God when you're disobeying your parents there's a few exceptions we get to talk about later on now Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions in chapter 17 verse 23 he says Allah your Lord has decreed that you not worship except him and to your parents treat them with good manners whether one or both of them reach old age with you say not to them of the small word of it's it's two letters and Imam al-sadaq said if there was a lesser letter or lesser word that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala could have used in the Qur'an he would have used it but if it is the smallest word that a person can use towards his parents if it just means like wow i have to deal with that again all right not but you know i have to deal with that again you know so even that small word you cannot say to your parents and you know i can think of a thousand words that people say to their parents we don't want to mention them on tv i don't think they're suitable and i know people that i've seen cuss out their parents i've seen this and it's disgusting for a person to cuss out his dad or mom you know doing it behind their back a lot of people do it but in front of them is just disgusting disgusting now the master of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala he says look at the parents with compassion and mercy because it's worship so if you're trying to worship god just look at your parents with mercy and love because that that's what you have to do you know it's it's it's not like your parents have you know dropped you in the scene left you dead no your parents have tried their best to raise you as a good child to make you someone very you know very upright and trying to make you successful but there are some rights that we have to take into consideration as kids as children to our parents one of the rights is that you have to obey them as the verse says however their obedience should not come before the obedience of god what do i mean by that i mean that if your parents are telling you to for for example if your parents are telling you to take off your hijab if your parents are telling you to go steal to listen to music to do drugs to eat pork to drink alcohol to do whatever to disobey god in any sort of way you don't have to do it because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says after verse 23 he says if they forced you to disobey me god then don't obey them however become friends with them in this dunya to that extent Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is telling us that even if they're trying to tell you even if they're trying to say disobey god no no don't disobey god yet become friends with them try to tell them why you don't want to do that instead of being arrogant and stubborn just explain to them and trust me it will work sometimes there are stubborn parents that force the children to do stuff but hopefully these these kids can can have a bright future inshallah treat them kindly and allow them to speak first and allow them to walk in front of you out of respect towards this is very important when imam sajjad aleyhi salam as as he has the treaties of rights one of them is about the parents one's about the mother one's about the father and he emphasizes a lot about the parents when a person asks him he says why are you emphasizing when the parents so much imam sajjad said to him by Allah if there wasn't if Allah allowed for the people to worship other than him i would tell mankind to worship their parents not me to go worship your parents but to that status of to that elevated status your parents has reached of course if their pie is and religious and all that so that's what you need to keep in mind another one is that don't raise your voice at them i know a lot of people even sometimes when they're joking their jokes get to a serious level and i've seen that you know kids joking with with their parents joking with their dads and moms even it gets to something very very bad i don't want to mention how but it's it's it's it's really disrespectful mama sajjad also says very beautiful he says i don't even eat with my mother well they saw him eating alone and his mother and everyone eating together he says i don't even eat with my mother because just in case her eye falls on specific food i don't go and grab it before her so he eats alone so his mother can eat peacefully she can look at whatever she wants just in case even the intention look how much imam sajjad focuses on parents especially mothers now now if we were to conclude tonight how many minutes do we have left we have two minutes left if we were to conclude tonight and try to send a message to those who have you know god forbid disobeyed disobeyed their parents it's it's very important i think we just got a a voice message from but we did get oh we didn't get a voice message uh-huh okay okay um so but as if we wanted to conclude tonight all we have to say is that share the time that you have with your parents even at their later stages of life try to make them feel because honestly you know god forbid just look at the parents that have a down syndrome kid that have a disabled kid they don't throw their kid away and let someone else deal with them i don't know they take care of them they provide everything for them the most expensive medical treatment they provide yet a well be a healthy person cannot take care of his parents when seeing that that's disgusting so at the end of the day let us spend some quality time with our parents in order to grow mentally and physically healthy that's what we need to grow thank you very much for joining us tonight is Ahmad Ali come into your live from the holy city city of karbala be sure to join us tomorrow at the same time live from the holy city of karbala once again take care waslamu alaykum