 Chapter 12 of Quit Your Worrying by George Wharton James This LibriVox recording is in the public domain Recording by Gillian Hendry The Worry of the Squirrel Cage Reference has already been made to The Squirrel Cage by Dorothy Canfield Better than any book I have read for a long time it reveals the causes of much of the worry that curses our modern so-called civilised life These causes are complex and various They include vanity, undue attention to what our neighbours think of us, a false appreciation of the values of things and they may all be summed up into what I propose to call with due acknowledgement to Mrs Canfield the Worry of the Squirrel Cage I will let the author express her own meaning of this latter term If the story leading up seems to be long please seek to read it in the light of this expression Footnote, reprinted from The Squirrel Cage by Dorothy Canfield $1.35 net, published by Henry Holt and company New York City End of Footnote Quote When Mr and Mrs Emery directly after their wedding in a small central New York village had gone west to Ohio they had spent their tiny capital in building a small story and a half cottage ornamented with the jigsaw work and fancy turning popular in 1872 and this had been the nucleus of their present rambling picturesque many-roomed home Every step in the long series of changes which had led from its first state to its last had a profound and gratifying significance for the Emery's and its final condition prosperous modern sophisticated with the right kind of woodwork in every room that showed with the latest most unobtrusely artistic effects in decoration represented their culminating well-earned position in the inner circle of the best society of endbury moreover they felt that just as the house had been attained with effort self-denial and careful calculations yet still without incurring debt so their social position had been secured by unremitting diligence and care but with no loss of self-respect or even of dignity they were honestly proud of both their house and of their list of acquaintances and saw no reason to regard them as less worthy achievements of an industrious life than their four creditable grown-up children or Judge Emery's honorable reputation at the bar the two older children George and Marietta could remember those early struggling days with as fresh an emotion as that of their parents indeed Marietta now a competent sharp-eyed matron of 32 could not see the most innocuous colored lithograph without an uncontrollable wave of bitterness so present to her mind was the period when they painfully groped their way out of the cromos the particular mrs Hollister who at the time the emory's began to pierce the upper crust was the leader of endbury society had discarded cromos as much as five years before mrs emory and marietta newly admitted to the honor of her acquaintance wondered to themselves at the cold monotony of her black and white engravings the artlessness of this wonder struck shame to their hearts when they chance to learn that the lady had repaid it with a worldly wise amusement at their own highly colored waterfalls and snow-capped mountain peaks marietta could recall as piercingly as if it were yesterday in how crestfallen a chagran she and her mother had gazed at their parlor after this incident their disillusioned eyes open for the first time to the futility of its claim to sophistication as for the incident that had led to the permanent retiring from their table of the monumental salt and pepper caster which had been one of their most prized wedding presents the emory's refused to allow themselves to remember it so intolerably did it spell humiliation end quote in these quotations the reader has the key to the situation worry to become as good as one's neighbors if not better this is the worry of the squirrel cage lydia is mrs emory's baby girl her pet her passionate delight she has been away to a fine school she knows nothing of the ancient struggles to attain position and a high place in society those struggles were practically over before she appeared on the scene on the occasion of her final homecoming her mother makes great preparations to please her yet the worry and the anxiety are revealed in her conversation with her older daughter quote oh marietta how do you suppose the house will seem to lydia after she has seen so much i hope she won't be disappointed i've done so much to it this last year perhaps she won't like it and oh i was so tired because we weren't able to get the new sideboard put up in the dining room yesterday really mother you must draw the line about lydia she's only human i guess if the house is good enough for you and father it is good enough for her that's just it marietta that's just what came over me is what's good enough for us good enough for lydia won't anything even the best in end burry be a come down for her end quote the attainments of mrs emory both as to wealth and social position however were not reached by her daughter marietta and her husband but in the determination to make it appear as if they were marietta thus exposes her own life of worry in a talk with her father quote keeping up a two maid and a man establishment on a one maid income and mostly not being able to hire the one maid there aren't any girls to be had lately it means that i have to be the other maid and the man all of the time and all three part of the time she was starting down the step but paused as though she could not resist the relief that came from expression and the cost of living the necessities are bad enough but the other things the things you have to have not to be out of everything i lie awake nights i think of it in church i can't think of anything else but the way the expenses mount up everybody getting so reckless and extravagant and i won't go in debt i'll come to it though everybody else does we're the only people that haven't oriental rugs now why the gilbert and everybody knows how much they still owe dr melton for ellen's appendicitis and their grocer told ralph they owe him several hundred well they have just got an oriental rug that they paid a hundred and sixty dollars for mrs gilbert said they just had to have it and you couldn't always have what you have to have it makes me sick our parallel looks so common and the last dinner party we gave cost end quote another phase of the squirrel cage worry is expressed in this terse paragraph quote father keeps talking about getting one of those player pianos but mother says they are so new you can't tell what they are going to be she says they may get to be too common end quote by and by it comes lydia's turn to decide what place she and her new husband are to take in ennbary society and here is what one frank sensible man says about it quote it may be all right for marietta mortimer to kill herself body and soul by inches to keep what bore her to death to have a social position in enbary's two for a cent society but for the lord's sake why do they make such a howling and yelling just at the tree when lydia's got the tragically important question to decide as to whether that's what she wants it's like expecting her to do a problem in calculus in the midst of an earthquake end quote and the following chapter is a graphic presentation as to how lydia made her choice in perfect freedom oh the frightful sarcasm of the phrase during the excitement of the wedding preparations and under the pressure of expensive gifts and the ideas of over enthusiastic society friends lydia now began her own squirrel cage existence even her husband urges her into extravagance in spite of her protest by saying nothing's too good for you and besides it's an asset the mortgage won't be so very large and if we're in it we'll just have to live up to it it'll be a stimulus one of the same characters of the book is dear lovable gruff mr melton who is lydia's godfather and her final awakening is largely due to him one day he finds lydia's mother upstairs sick of bed and thus breaks forth to his godchild quote about your mother i know without going upstairs that she is floored with one or another manifestation of the great disease of social ambicionitis but calm yourself it's not so bad as it seems when you've got the right doctor i've practiced for 30 years among enbury ladies they can't spring anything new on me i've taken your mother through doily fever induced by the change from tablecloths to bare tops through portier inflammation through afternoon tea distemper through art nouveau frustration and mission furniture policy not to speak of a horrible attack of acute insanity over the necessity of having her maids wear caps i think you can trust me whatever dodge the old malady is working on her end quote and later in speaking of lydia's sister he affirms quote your sister marietta is not a very happy woman she has too many of your father's brains for the life she's been shunted into she might be damning up a big river with a finely constructed concrete dam and what she is giving all her strength to is trying to hold back a muddy little trickle with her bare hands the achievement of her life is to give on a two thousand a year income the appearance of having five thousand like your father she does it she's a remarkably forceful woman but it frets her she ought to be in better business and she knows it though she won't admit it end quote oh the pity of it the woe of it the horror of it for it is one of the curses of our present day society and is one of the causes of many a man's and women's physical and mental ruin in the words of our author elsewhere quote they are killing themselves to get what they really don't want and don't need and are starving for things they could easily have by just putting out their hands end quote where life's struggle is reduced to this kind of thing there is little compensation hence we are not surprised to read that quote judge emory was in the state in which of late the end of the day's work found him overwhelmingly fatigued he had not an ounce of superfluous energy to answer his wife's toxin while she was almost crying with nervous exhaustion that Lydia's course ran smooth through a thousand complications was not accomplished without an incalculable expenditure of nervous force on her mother's part dr melton had several times of late predicted that he would have his old patient back under his care again judge emory remembering this prophecy was now moved by his wife's pale agitation to a heart-sickening mixture of apprehension for her and of recollection of his own extreme discomfort whenever she was sick end quote yet in spite of this intense tension she was unable to stop felt she must go on until finally a breakdown intervened and she was compelled to lay by on another page a friend tells of his great aunt's experience quote she told me that all through her childhood her family was saving and pulling together to build a fine big house they worked along for years until when she was a young lady they finally accomplished it built a big three-story house that was the admiration of the countryside then they moved in and it took the women folks every minute of their time and more to keep it clean and in order it cost as much to keep it up heated furnished repaired painted and everything the way a fine house should be as their entire living used to cost the fine big grounds they had laid out to go with the mansion took so much time to end quote finally Lydia herself becomes awakened startled as she sees what everybody is trying to make her life become and she bursts out to her sister quote i'm just frightened of everything what everybody expects me to do and to go on doing all my life and never have any time but to just hurry faster and faster so there'll be more things to hurry about and never talk about anything but things she began to tremble and look white and stopped with a desperate effort to control herself though she burst out at the sight of mrs mortimer's face of despairing bewilderment oh don't tell me you don't see at all what i mean i can't say it but you must understand can't we somehow all stop now and start over again you get muslin curtains and not mender lace ones and mother stop fussing about whom to invite to that party that's going to cost more than he can afford father says it makes me sick to be costing him so much and not fuss about having clothes just so and paul have our house built little and plain so it won't be so much work to take care of it and keep it clean i would so much rather look after it myself than to have him kill himself making money so i can hire maids that you can't you say yourself you can't and never having any time to see him perhaps if we did other people might and we'd all have more time to like things that make us nicer to like end quote and when her sister tried to comfort her she continued quote you do see what i mean you see how dreadful it is to look forward to just that being so desperately troubled over things that don't really matter and and perhaps having children and bringing them to the same thing when there must be so many things that do matter end quote then to show how perfectly her sister understood the author makes that wise and perceptive woman exclaim quote mercy dr melton's right she's perfectly wild with nerves we must get her married as soon as ever we can end quote lydia gives a reception here is part of the description quote standing as they were tightly pressed in between a number of different groups their ears were assaulted by a disjointed mass of stentorian conversation that gave a singular illusion as if it all came from one inconceivably valuable source the individuality of the voices being lost in the screaming enunciation which as mrs sandworth had pointed out was a prerequisite of self-expression under the circumstances they heard for over a month and the sleeves were too see you again at mrs elliott's i'm pouring there from four i've got to dismiss one with plum-coloured bowls all along five dollars a week and the washing out and still impossible i was there myself all the time and they neither off 35 cents a pound for the most ordinary ferns and red carnations was all they had and we thought it rather skimpy under the brought up in one big braid and caught down with petersons they were pink and white with oh no madeline that was at the burlinghams mrs sandworth took a running jump into the din and sank from her brother's sight vociferating but petersons had them of old gold don't you remember with little the doctor warming his way desperately through the masses of femininity and resisting all attempts to engage him in the local fray emerged at length into the darkened hall where the air was as he told himself in a frenzied light of imagination less like a combination of a menagerie and a perfume shop here in a quiet corner sat Lydia's father alone he held in one hand a large platter piled high with wafer-like sandwiches which he was consuming at a gargantuan rate and as he ate he smiled to himself well mr ogre said the doctor sitting down beside him with a gasp of relief let a wave-worn mariner into your den will you provided with an auditor judge emory's smile broke into an open laugh he waved the platter toward the uproar in the next rooms her boiler factory ain't in it with women lovely women is it he put it to his friend greci's powers there's nothing to laugh at in that exhibition the doctor reproved him with an acrimonious savagery i don't know which makes me sicker to stay in there and listen to them or come out here and find you thinking they're funny they are funny insisted the judge tranquilly i stood by the door and listened to the scraps of talk i could catch till i thought i should have a fit i never heard anything funnier on the stage looky hear that the doctor stared up at him angrily they're not monkeys in a zoo to be looked at only on holidays and then laughed at they're the other half of a whole that we're half off and don't you forget it why in the world should you think it funny for them to do this tomfool trick all winter and have nervous frustration all summer to pay for it you'd lock up a man as a dangerous lunatic if he spent his life so what they're like and what they do with their time and strength concerns us enough sight more than what the tariff is let me tell you i admit that what your wife is like concerns you a whole lot the judge laughed good-naturedly in the face of the little old bachelor don't commence jumping on the american woman so i won't stand it she's the noblest of her sex do you know why i am bald said dr melton running his hand over his shining dome if i did i wouldn't admit it the judge put up a cautious guard because i foresee that whatever i say will be used as evidence against me i've torn out all my hair in desperation at hearing such men as you claim to admire and respect and wish to advance the american woman you don't give enough thought to her real thought from one year's end to another to know whether you think she has an immortal soul or not end quote later lydia's husband insists that they give a dinner quote it was to be a large dinner large that is for endbury of 20 covers and lydia had never prepared a table for so many guests the number of objects necessary for the conventional setting of a dinner table appalled her she was so tired and her attention was so fixed on the complicated processes going on uncertainly in the kitchen that her brain reeled over the vast quantity of knives and forks and plates and glasses needed to convey food to 20 mouths on a festival occasion they persistently eluded her attempts to marshal them into order she discovered that she had put forks for the soup that in some inexplicable way at the plate destined for an important guest there was a large kitchen spoon of iron a wild sort of whimsical humor rose in her from the ferment of utter fatigue and anxiety when paul came in looking very grave she told him with a wavering laugh if i tried as hard for 10 minutes to go to heaven as i've tried all day to have this dinner right i'd certainly have a front seat in the angel choir if anybody here tonight is not satisfied it'll be because he's harder to please and st peter himself end quote during the evening quote lydia seemed to herself to be in an endless bad dream the exhausting efforts of the day had reduced her to a sort of coma of fatigue through which she felt but dully the successive stabs of the ill-served unsuccessful dinner at times the table the guests the room itself wavered before her and she clutched at her chair to keep her balance she did not know that she was laughing and talking gaily and eating nothing she was only conscious of an intense longing for the end of things and darkness and quiet end quote when it was all over and her husband was compelled to recognize that it had been a failure his mental attitude is thus expressed quote he had determined to preserve at all costs the appearance of the indulgent non-critical overpatient husband that he intensely felt himself to be no force he thought grimly shutting his jaws hard should drag from him a word of his real sentiments fanned by the wind of this virtuous resolution his sentiments grew hotter and hotter as he walked about locking doors and windows and reviewing bitterly the events of the evening if he was to restrain himself from saying he would at least allow himself the privilege of feeling all that was possible to a man deeply injured end quote and that night lydia felt for the first time the quickening to life of her child and during all that day until then she had forgotten that she was to no motherhood can words more forcefully depict the worry of the squirrel cage than this that an unnecessary dinner given in unnecessary style at unnecessary expense to visitors to whom it was unnecessary should have driven from her thought and doubtless seriously injured the new life that she was so soon to give to the world oh men and women of divine descent and divine heritage quit your squirrel cage stage of existence is life to be one mere whirling around of the cage of useless toil or pleasure of mere imagining that you are doing something work with an object know your object that it is worthy the highest endeavor of a human being and then pursue it with a divine enthusiasm that no obstacle can daunt an ardour that no weariness can quench then it is you will begin to live there is no life in worry worry is a waste of life if you are a worrier that is a proof you in so far as you worry do not appreciate the value of your own life for a worthy object a divine enthusiasm a noble ardour are in themselves the best possible preventatives against worry they dignify life above worry worry is undignified petty poultry where you know you have something to do worth doing you are conscious of the divine benediction and who can worry when the smile of god rests upon him this is a truism almost to triteness and yet how few fully realize it it is the unworthy potter with life the dabblers in life stuff those who blind themselves to their high estate those who are unsure of their footing who worry the true aristocrat is never worried about his position the orator convinced of the truth of his message worries not as to how it will be received the machinist sure of his plans hesitates not in the construction of his machinery the architect assured of his accuracy pushes on his builders without hesitancy or question fear or alarm the engineer knowing his engine and his destination has no heart quiver as he handles the lever it is the doubter the unsure the aimless the dabbler the frivolous the dilettante the uncertain that worry how nobly browning set this forth in his epilogue quote what had I on earth to do with the slothful with the mockish the unmanly like the aimless helpless hopeless did I drivel being who one who never turned his back but marched breast-forward never doubted clouds would break never dreamed though right were worsted wrong would triumph held we fall to rise our baffled to fight better sleep to wake no at noonday in the bustle of man's work time greet the unseen with a cheer put him forward breast and back as either should be strive and thrive cry speed fight on fair ever there as here end quote and this is not mere poetry or rather it is because it is mere poetry that it is real life browning had nearly 70 years of it he knew where there are those to whom god has whispered in the ear there is no uncertainty no worry the musician who knows his instrument knows his music knows his key and knows his time to play never hesitates never falters never worries with tone clear pure strong uncertain he sends forth his melodies or harmonies into the air cannot you in your daily life be a true and sure musician cannot you be certain absolutely definitely certain of your right to play the tune of life in the way you have it marked out before you and then go ahead and play play in god's name as gods and man's music maker end of chapter 12 chapter 13 of quit your worrying by george worton james this library box recording is in the public domain recording by jillian henry religious worries and worriers misunderstandings misconceptions and ignorance in regard to what really is religion have caused countless millions to mourn and worry indeed far more to worry than to mourn religion should be a joyous thing the bringing of the son and daughter into close relationship with the father instead for centuries it has been a battle for creeds for mental ascent to certain doctrines rather than a growth in brotherhood and loving relationship and those who could not see eye to eye with one another deemed it to be their duty to fight and worry each other even to their death this is not the place for any theological discussion nor is it my intent to present the claims of any church or creed each reader must do that for himself and the less he worries over it the better i think it will be for him i have read and reread cardinal newman's wonderful pro-apologia his statement as to why and how he entered the bosom of the roman catholic church and it has thrilled me with its pathos and evidence of deep spiritual endeavor charles warren stoddard's troubled heart and how it found rest is another similar story though written by an entirely different type of man each of these books revealed the inner thought and life of men who were worried about religion and by worry i mean anxious to the point of abnormality disturbed distressed unnecessarily yet i would not be misunderstood far be it from me in this age of gross materialism and worship of physical power and wealth to decry in the least a proper degree of solicitude for one's personal salvation the religious life of the individual the real deep personal hidden unseen inner life of a human soul is a wonderfully delicate thing to be touched by another only with the profoundest love and deepest wisdom hence i have little to say about one's own inner struggles except to affirm and reaffirm that wisdom sanity and religion itself are all against worrying about it study religion consider it accept it follow it earnestly seriously and constantly but do it in a rational manner seeking the essentials accepting them and then resting in them to the full and utter exclusion of all worry but there is another class of religious warriors namely those who worry themselves about your salvation again i would not be misunderstood nor thought to decry a certain degree of solicitude about the spiritual welfare of those we love but here again the caution and warning against worry more than ever holds good most of these warriors have found comfort joy and peace in a certain line of thought which has commended itself to them as truth the one full complete indivisible truth and it seems most natural for human nature to be eager that others should possess it this is the secret of the zeal of the street salvationist whose flaming ardour is bent on reaching those who seldom if ever go to church the burden of his cry is that you must flee from the wrath to come hell by accepting the vicarious atonement made by the blood of jesus in season and out of season he urges that you come under the blood his face is tense his brow wrinkled his eyes strained his voice raucous his whole demeanour full of worry over the salvation of others another friend is a seventh day adventist who is full of zeal for the declaration of the third angel's message for he believes that only by heeding it keeping sacred the hours from sunset on friday to saturday sunset in accordance with his reading of the fourth commandment and also believing in the speedy second coming of christ can one's soul's salvation be attained the baptist is assured that his mode of baptism complete immersion is the only one that satisfies the demands of heaven and the more rigorous members of the sect refuse communion with those who have not obeyed as they see the command the members of the christian church as the disciples of alexander cambell term themselves while they are sent that they are tied to no creed except the new testament demand immersion as a prerequisite to membership in their body the methodist congregationalist presbyterian nazarene and many others are evangelical in their belief as is a large portion of the church of england and its american offshoot both of which are known as the episcopal church another portion however of this church is known as ritualistic and the two branches in england recently became so involved in a heated discussion as to the propriety of certain of their bishops partaking in official deliberations with ministers of the other but outside evangelistic churches that for a time it seemed as if the whole episcopal church would be disrupted by the fierceness and anger gendered in the differences of opinion to my own mind all this worry was much ado about nothing each man's brain and conscience must guide him in matters of this kind and the worry fret stew evolved out of the matter seemed to me a proof that real religion had little to do with it recently one good brother came to me with tears in his voice if not in his eyes worried seriously as to my own religious belief because i had asserted in a public address that i believed the earnest prayer of a good indian woman reached the ear of god as surely as did my own prayers or those of any man woman minister or priest living to him the only effective prayers were evangelical prayers whatever that may mean and he was deeply distressed and fearfully worried because i could not see eye to eye with him in this matter and a dear good woman who heard a subsequent discussion of the subject was so worried over my attitude that she felt impelled to assure me when i left that she would pray for me i have friends who are zealous roman catholics and a number of them are praying that i may soon enter the folds of mother church and yet my unitarian and universalist friends wonder why i retain my membership in any orthodox church on the other hand my new thought friends declare that i belong to them by the spirit of the messages i have given to the world then too my theosophist friends and i have many present to me with a force i do not attempt to contravert the doctrine of the universal brotherhood of mankind and urge upon me acceptance of the comforting and helpful doctrine to them of reincarnation not long prior to this writing a good earnest man buttonholed me and held me tight for over an hour while he outlined his own slight divergences from the teachings of the Methodist church to which he belongs and his interpretation of the symbolism of scripture none of which had the slightest interest to me in our conversation he expressed himself as quite willing please note the condescension to allow me the privilege of supposing the Catholic was honest and sincere in his faith and belief but he could not for one moment allow the same to the Christian scientist who from his standpoint denied the atonement and the divinity of Christ i suppose if he ever picks up this booklet and reads what i am now going to write he will regard me as a reprobate and lost beyond the possibility of salvation nevertheless i wish to put on record that i regard his attitude as one of intolerance bigotry fanaticism and impudence sheer unadulterated impertinence who made him the judge of the thoughts and acts of other men's inner lives who gave to him the wisdom and power of discernment to know that he was right and these others wrong poor arrogant fool his worries were not the result of genuine affection and deep human sympathy the irrepressible and uncontrollable desires and longings of his heart to bring others into the full light of God's love but of his overweening self-confidence in his own wisdom and judgment and i say this in no personal condemnation of him for i have now even forgotten who it was but in condemnation of the spirit in which he and all his ilk ever act hence my dear reader if you are of his class i say to you earnestly don't worry about other people's salvation it may be they are nearer saved than you are no man can be worried into accepting anything even though you may deem it the only truth i have known men whom others regarded as agnostics who had given more study to the question of personal religion than any ten of their critics i can recall three all of whom were men of wonderful mentality and great earnestness of purpose John Burroughs first essays were written for his own soul's welfare the results of his long continued mental struggles for light upon the subject Major J. W. Powell the organiser and director for many years of the United States Geological Survey and Bureau of American Ethnology was brought up by a father and mother whose intense longing was that their son should be a Methodist preacher the growing youth wished to please his parents but was also compelled to satisfy his own conscience the more he studied the creeds and doctrines of Methodism the less he felt he could accept them and much to the regret of his parents he refused to enter the ministry yet in relating the story to me he asserted that his whole life had been one long agony of earnest study to find the highest truth taking me into his library where there were several extended shelves filled from end to end with the ponderous tomes of the two great government bureaus that he controlled he said most people regard this as my life work and outwardly it is yet I say to you in all sincerity that the real inner secret force working through all this has been that I might satisfy my own soul on the subject of religion then picking up two small volumes he said in these two books I have recorded the results of my years of agonizing struggle I don't suppose 10 men have ever read them through or perhaps ever will but these are the real story of the chief work of my inner life I am one of the few men who have read both these books with scrupulous care and yet were it not for what my friend told me of their profound significance to him I should scarcely have been interested enough in their content to read them through at the same time I know that the men who from the standpoint of their professionally religious complacency would have condemned major power never spent one thousandth part the time nor felt one tenth thousandth the real solicitude that he did about seeking the way the truth and the life another friend in Chicago was Dr M. H. Lakerstein openly denounced as an agnostic and even as an infidel by some zealous sectaries yet Dr Lakerstein had personally translated the whole of the Greek Testament and several other sacred books of the Hebrews and Hindus in his intense desire to satisfy the demands of his own soul for the truth he was the soul of honor the very personification of sincerity and as much above some of his critics whom I well knew in these virtues as they were above the scum of the slums the longer I live and study men the more I am compelled to believe that religion is a personal matter between oneself and God and is more of the spirit than most people have yet conceived it is well known to those who have read my books and heard my lectures on the old Franciscan missions of California that I revere the memory of Padres, Conipero, Serra, Palo, Crespi, Catala, Peri and others of the founders of these missions I have equal veneration for the goodness of many Catholic priests, nuns and laymen of today yet I am not a Catholic those zealous sectaries of Protestantism even of the church to which I am supposed to belong sometimes fiercely assail me for my open commendation of these men of that faith they are worried lest I lean too closely towards Catholicism and ultimately become one of that fold others who hear my good words in favor of what appeals to me as noble and uplifting in the lives of those of other faiths of which they do not approve worry over and condemn my breadth of belief indeed I have many friends who give themselves an immense lot of altogether unnecessary worry about this matter they have labeled themselves according to some denominational tag and accept some form of belief that to them seems incontrovertible and satisfactory many of them are praying for me and each that I may see the truth from his standpoint for their prayers I am grateful I cannot afford to lose the spirit of love behind and in every one of them but for the worry about me in their minds I have neither respect regard toleration nor sympathy I don't want it can do without it and I resent its being there to each and all of them I say firmly quit your worrying about my religion or want of it I am in the hands of the same loving God that you are I have the promise of God's guiding spirit as much as you have I have listened respectfully and with an earnest and sincere desire to see and know the truth to all you have said and now I want to be left alone I have come to exclaim with browning in Rabbi Ben Ezra quote now who shall arbitrate ten men love what I hate shun what I follow slight what I receive ten who in ears and eyes match me we all surmise they this thing and I that whom shall my soul believe end quote for myself I have concluded that no one shall choose my religion for me and all the worrying in the world shall not change my attitude and it is to the worrying of my friends that they owe this state of mind for this reason I found myself one day counting up the number of people of different beliefs who had solemnly promised to pray for me there were Methodists, Campbellites, Baptists, Roman Catholics, Episcopalians, Seven Day Adventists, Presbyterians, Nazarenes, Holy Rollers and others then the query arose whose prayers will be answered on my behalf each is sure that his are the ones that can be effective yet their prayers differ they are to some degree antagonistic and insofar as they petition that I become one of their particular fold they nullify each other as it is utterly impossible that I accept the specific form of faith of each the consequent result in my own mind is that as I cannot possibly become what all these good people desire I should be as their desires and prayers for me controvert each other I must respectfully decline to be bound by any of them I must and will do my own choosing hence all the worry on my behalf is energy strength and effort wasted let me repeat then to the warrior about the salvation of others you're in a poor business quit your worrying hands off this is none of your concern believe as little or as much and what you will for your own soul's salvation but do not put forth your conceptions as the only conceptions possible of divine truth before another soul who may have an immeasurably larger vision than you have oh the pitiableness of man's colossal conceit the arrogance of his ignorance as if the god of the universe were so small that one paltry finite man could contain in his pint measure of a mind all the ocean of his power knowledge and love let your small and wretched worries go have a little larger faith in the love of the infinite one tenderly love and trust those whose welfare you seek and trust god at the same time but don't worry when you see the dear ones walking in a path you have not chosen for them remember your own ignorance your own frailties your own errors your own mistakes and then frankly and honestly fearlessly and directly ask yourself the question if you dare to take upon your own ignorant self the responsibility of seeking to control and guide another living soul as to his eternal life brother sister the job is too big for you it takes god to do that and you are not yet even a perfect human being hence while i long for all spiritual good for my sons and daughters and for my friends and i pray for them it is in a large way without any interjection of my own decisions and conclusions as to what will be good for them i have no fears as i leave them thus in god's hand and regard every worry as sinful on my part and injurious to them i have no desire that they should accept my particular brand of faith or belief while i believe absolutely in that which i accept for the guidance of my own life i would not fetter their souls with my belief if i could they are in wiser better larger more loving hands than mine and if i would not thus fetter my children and friends i dare not seek to fetter others my business is to live my own religion to the utmost if i must worry i will worry about that though as i think my readers are well aware by now i do not believe in any kind of worry on any subject whatever hence let me again affirm in concluding this chapter i regard worry about the religion of others as unwarrantable on account of our own ignorances as to their peculiar needs as well as of god's methods of supplying those needs it is also a useless expenditure of strength energy and affection for if god leads your worry cannot possibly affect the one soul led it is also generally an irritant to the one worried over even though he may not formulate it into words he feels that it is an interference with his own inner life and nagging that he resents and therefore it does him far more harm than good and finally it is an altogether indefensible attempt to saddle upon another soul your own faith or belief which may be altogether unsuitable or inadequate to the needs of that soul there is still one other form of worry connected with the subject of religion many a good man and women worries over the apparent well-being and success of those whom he she accounts wicked they are seen to flourish as a green bakery or as a well-watered garden and this seems to be unfair unjust and unwise on the part of the powers that govern the universe if good be desirable people ought to be encouraged to it by material success so reason these officially good wise acres who subconsciously wish to dictate to god how he should run his world how often we hear the question why is it the wicked prosper so or he's such a bad man and yet everything he does prospers holy writ is very clear on this subject the sacred writer evidently was well posted on the tendency of human nature to worry and concern itself about the affairs of others hence his injunction quote fret not thyself because of evildoers end quote in other words it's none of your business and i am inclined to believe that a careful study of the bible would reveal to every busybody who worries over the affairs of others that he himself has enough to do to attend to himself and that his worry anyhow is a ridiculous absurd and senseless piece of super-erogation and rather a proof of human conceit and vanity than of true concern for the spiritual good of others end of chapter 13 chapter 14 of quit your worrying by george worton james this library box recording is in the public domain recording by jillian henry ambition and worry some forms of ambition are sure and certain developers and feeders of worry and fretful distress and should be guarded against with jealous care we hear a great deal from our physicians of the germs of disease that sees upon us and infect our whole being but not all the disease germs that ever infected a race are so demoralizing to one's peace and joy as are the germs of such deadly mental diseases as those of envy malice covetousness ambition and the like ambition like wine is a mocker it is a vain deluder of men it takes an elevated position and vacant to you to rise that you may be seen and flattered of men it does not say gain strength and power wisdom and virtue so that men will place you upon the pedestal of their veneration respect and love but it bids you sees the spotlight and hold it and no sooner are you there then it begins to pester you as with a hundred thousand hornets flying around and stinging you with doubts and questions as to whether your fellows see you in this elevated place whether they really discern your worth your beauty your shining qualities and furthermore it quickens your hearing and bids you strain to listen to what they say about you and as you do so you are pricked, stabbed, wounded by their slighting and jeering remarks their scornful comments upon your impertinent and impudent arrogance that daring to take such a place and their open denial of your possession of any of the qualities which would entitle you to so honored a position in the eyes of men then too it must be recalled that when fired with the desires of this ambition one is inclined in his selfish absorption to be ruthless in his dealings with others it is so easy to trample upon others when a siren is beckoning you to climb higher and your ears are eagerly listening to her seductive phrases with her song in your ears you cannot hear the wails of anguish of others upon whose rites and life you trample the manly rebukes of those you wound or the stern remonstrances of those who bid you heed your course ambition blinds and defends and alas calluses the heart kills comradeship drives away friendship in its eager selfishness and in so doing lets in a flood of worries that ever beset its victims they may not always be in evidence while there is the momentary triumph of climbing but they are there waiting ready to teeter the pedestal whisper of its unsure and unstable condition call attention to those who are digging around its foundations and to the flyers in the air who threaten to hurl down bombs and completely destroy it feet unbegged that his father Phoebus Apollo allow him to drive the flaming chariot of day through the heavens and in spite of all warnings and cautions insisted upon his power and ability though instructed and informed as to the great dangers he evoked he seized the reins with delight stood up in the chariot and urged on the snorting steeds to furious speed soon conscious of a lighter load than usual the steeds dashed on tossing the chariot as a ship at sea and rushed headlong from the travelled road of the middle zone the great and little bear were scorched and the serpent that coils around the north pole was warmed to life now filled with fear and dread feet and lost self-control and looked repentant to the goal which he could never reach the unrestrained steeds dashed hither and dither among the stars and reaching the earth set fire to trees cities harvests mountains the air became hot and lurid the rivers springs and snow banks were dried up the earth then cried out in her agony to jupiter for relief and he launched a thunderbolt at the now cowed and broken-hearted driver which not only struck him from the seat he had dishonoured but also out of existence the old mythologists were no fools they saw the worries the dangers the sure end of ambition they wrote their cautions and warnings against it in this graphic story why will men and women for the sake of an uncertain and unsure goal tempt the fates and at the same time surely bring upon themselves a thousand unnecessary worries that sting nag taunt fret and distress far better seek a goal of certainty a harbor of sureness in the doing of kindly deeds noble actions unselfish devotion to the uplift of others in this mad rush of ambitious selfishness such a life aim may seem chimerical yet it is the only aim that will reach attain endure for all earthly fame ambitious attainment honour glory is eminence and temporary like the wealth of the miser it must be left behind there is no pocket in any shroud yet devised which will convey wealth across the river of death and no man's honors and fame but that fade in the clear light of the spirit that shines in the land beyond then ambitious friend quit your worrying readjust your aim trim your lamp for another and better guest live for the uplift of others seek to give help and strength to the needy bring sunshine to the darkened give of your abundance of spirit and exuberance to those who have little or none and thus you will lay up treasure within your own soul which will convert hell into heaven and give you joy forever so long as men and women believe that happiness lies in out distancing surpassing their fellows in exterior or material things they cannot help but be subjects to worry to determine to gain a larger fortune than that possessed by another man is a sure invitation to worry to enter into possession of one's soul who has not seen the vain struggles the distress the worry of unsatisfied ambitions that would have amounted to nothing had they been gratified in women's clubs as well as men's many a heartache is caused because some other woman gains an office is elected to a position is appointed on a committee you had coveted the remedy for this kind of worry is to change the aim of life instead of making position fame the attainment of fortune office a fine house an automobile the object of existence make the doing of something worthy and noble manhood or womanhood the object of your ambition strive to make yourself worthy to be the best president your club has ever had endeavor to be the finest equipped mentally for the work that is to be done whether you're chosen to do it or not and keep on and on and still on finding your joy in the work in the benefit it is to yourself in the power it is storing up within you then as sure as the sun shines the time will come when you will be chosen to do the needed work your own will come to you nothing can hinder it it will flow as certainly into your hands as the water of the river flow into the sea end of chapter 14 chapter 15 of quit your worrying by George Wharton James this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jillian Henry Envy and worry Envy is a prolific source of worry once allow this demon of unrest to fasten itself in one's vitals and worry claims every waking hour Envy is that peculiar demon of discontent that cannot see the abilities attainments achievements or possessions of another without malicious determination to belittle, deride, make light of or absolutely deny their existence while all the time covetously craving them for itself Andrew Took pictures Envy as a vile female quote a deadly paleness in her cheek was seen her meager skeleton scarce cased with skin her looks awry an everlasting scowl sits on her brow her teeth deformed and foul her breast had gall more than her breast could hold beneath her tongue quotes of poison rolled no smile air smoothed her furrowed brow but those which rose from laughing at another's woes her eyes were strangers to the sweets of sleep devouring spite for ever waking keep she sees blessed men with vast success crowned their joys distract her and their glories wound she kills abroad herself's consumed at home and her own crimes are her perpetual martyrdom end quote ever watching with bloodshot eyes the good things of others she hates them for their possessions longs to possess them herself lets her covetousness gnaw hourly at her very vitals and yet in conversation with others slays with slander vile innuendo and falsehood the reputation of those whose virtues she covets as robert pollock wrote of one full of envy quote it was his earnest work and daily toil with lying tongue to make the noble seem mean as himself when air he heard as oft he did of joy and happiness and great prosperity and rising worth it was like a wave of wormwood or his soul rolling its bitterness end quote I and he drank in great drafts of this bitter flood holding it in his mouth tasting its foul and biting qualities until his whole being seemed saturated with it hating it dreading it suffering every moment while doing it yet enduring it because of his envy at the good of others few there are who at some time or other in their lives do not have a taste at least of the stinging bite of envy girls are envious of each other's good looks clothes possessions houses friends boys of the strength skill ability popularity of others women of other women men of other men just as when they were boys and girls one of the strongest words the great socrates ever wrote was against envy he said quote envy is the daughter of pride the author of murder and revenge the beginner of secret sedition the perpetual tormentor of virtue envy is the filthy slime of the soul a venom a poison a quicksilver which consumes the flesh and drieth up the marrow of the bones end quote and history clearly shows that the wise philosopher stated facts calligalus knew his brother because he possessed a beauty that led him to be more esteemed and favor than he Dionysius the tyrant was vindictive and cruel to philoxenius the musician because he could sing and with Plato the philosopher because he could dispute better than himself even the great cambysus slew his brother smirdis because he was a stronger and better bowman than himself or any of his party it was envy that led the courtiers of spain to crave and seek the destruction of columbus and envy that set a score of enemies at the heels of cortes the conqueror of Peru it is a fearful and vindictive devil is this devil of envy and he who yields to it who once allows it admittance to the citadel of his heart will soon learn that every subsequent waking and even sleeping moment is one of worry and distress end of chapter 15 chapter 16 of quit your worrying by George Wharton James this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by jillian henry discontent and worry closely allied to envy is discontent these are blood relations and both are prolific sources of worry and lest there are those who think because i have revealed in the preceding chapter the demon of worry envy as one that attacks the minds of the great and mighty it does not enter the hearts of every day people let me quote entire an article and the poem recently written by Ella Wheeler Wilcox in the los angeles examiner the discontent referred to clearly comes from envy someone has blonde tresses while she has black this arouses her envy she is envious because another's eyes are blue while hers are brown another is tall while she is small and so on and so on there is nothing indeed that she cannot weep and worry over quote there is a certain girl i know a pretty little elf who spends almost her entire thoughts in pity for herself her glossy tresses raven black cause her to weep a pond she is so sorry for herself because they are not blonde her eyes when dry are very bright and very brown tis true but they are almost always wet because they are not blue she is of medium height and when she sees one quite tall she weeps all day in keenest pain because she is so small but if she meets some tiny girl whom she considers fair then that she is so big herself she solves in great despair when out upon a promenade her tears she cannot hide to think she is obliged to walk while other folks can ride but if she drives while then she weeps it is so hard to be perched stiffly in a carriage seat while other girls run free she used to cry herself quite sick to think she had to go month after month to dreary schools that was her constant wall but on her graduating day my how her tears did run it seemed so sorrowful to know that her school life was done one day she wept because she saw a funeral train go by it was so sad that she must live while other folks could die and really all her friends will soon join with her in those tears unless she takes a brighter view of life her many years end quote the conceited girl or woman is tiresome and unpleasant as a companion but the morbidly discontented woman is far worse perhaps you have met her with her eternal complaint of the injustice of fate toward her she feels that she is born for better things than have befallen her her family does not understand her her friends misjudge her the public slights her if she is married she finds herself superior to her husband and to her associates she is eternally longing for what she has not and when she gets it is dissatisfied the sorrowful side of life alone appeals to her this she believes is due to her artistic nature the injustice of fortune and the unkindness of society are topics due to her heart she finds her only rapture in misery if she is religiously inclined she looks towards heaven with more grim satisfaction in the thought that it will strip fame favor and fortune from the unworthy then because it will give her the benefits she feels she deserves she does not dream that she is losing years of heaven here upon earth by her own mental attitude we build our heavens thought by thought if you are dwelling upon the dark phases of your destiny and upon the ungracious acts of fate you are shaping more of the same experience for yourself here and in realms beyond you are making happiness impossible for yourself upon any plane in your own self lies destiny i have known a woman to keep her entire family despondent for years by her continual assertions that she was out of her sphere misunderstood and unappreciated the minds of sensitive children accepted these statements and grieved over poor mother's sad life until their own youth was embittered the morbid mother seized upon the sympathies of her children like a leech and sapped their young lives of joy the husband grew discouraged and indifferent under the continual strain and what might have been a happy home was a desolate one and its memory is a nightmare to the children today understand yourself and your divine possibilities and you will cease to think you are misunderstood it is not possible to misunderstand a beautiful sunny day all nature rejoices in its loveliness give love cheerfulness kindness and goodwill to all humanity and you need not worry about being misunderstood give the best you have to each object purpose and individual and you will eventually receive the best from humanity end of chapter 16 chapter 17 of quit your worrying by George Wharton James this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by jillian henry cowardice and worry cowardice is a much more prolific source of worry than most people imagine there are many varieties of cowardice all tracing their ancestry back to fear fear truly makes cowards off as all there are the physical cowards the social cowards the business cowards the hang on to your job cowards the political cowards the moral cowards the religious cowards and 57 nay 101 other varieties each and all of these have their own attendant demons of worry every barking dog becomes a lion ready to tear one to pieces and no bridge is strong enough to allow us to pass over in safety no cloud has a silver lining and every rainstorm is sure to work injury to the crops rather than bring the needful moisture for their vivification what a piteous sight to see a man who dares not express his honest opinions who must crawl instead of walk upright in the presence of his employer lest he lose his job how his cowardice worries him meets him at every turn torments him lest some unconscious word be repeated lest he say or do the wrong thing and so long as there are cowards to employ bully employers will exist nay the cowardice seems to call out bullying qualities just as a cur will follow you with barkings and threatening growls if you run from him and yet turn tail and run when you boldly face him so with most men with society with the world flee from them show your fear of them and they will hurry you but boldly face them they gentle down immediately fawn upon you lie down or to use an expressive slang phrase come and eat out of your hand how politicians straddle the fence refrain from expressing their opinions deal in glittering generalities because of their cowardly fears how they turn their sails to catch every breath of popular favour how cautious politic wary they are and how fears worry and besiege them whenever they accidentally or incidentally say something that can be interpreted as a positive conviction and yet men really love a brave man in political life one who has definite convictions and fearlessly states them who has no worries as to results but dares to say and do things only of which his conscience approves no matter how one may regard Roosevelt cowardice is one thing none will accuse him of he says his say does his will expresses himself with freedom upon any and all subjects let results be as they may such a man is free from the petty worries that beset most politicians he knows nothing of their existence they cannot breathe in the free atmosphere that is essential to his life like the cowardly cur they run away at his approach oh cowards all of every kind and degree quickie like men be strong and of good courage dare and do dare and say dare and be take a manly stand fling out your banner boldly to the breeze cry out as did Patrick Henry give me liberty or give me death or as that other patriot did sink or swim survive or perish i give my hand and my heart to this vote do the things you are afraid of dare the men who make cowards of you say the things you fear to say and be the things you know you ought to be and it will surprise you how the petty devils of worry will slink away from you you will walk in new life in new strength in new joy in new freedom for he who lives a life free from worries of this nature as a spontaneity a freedom an exuberance an enthusiasm a boldness that not only are winsome in themselves make friends open the doors of opportunity attract the moving elements of life but that give to their possessor an entirely new outlook a wider survey a more comprehensive grasp life itself becomes bigger grander more majestic more worthwhile the whole horizon expands and from being a creature of petty affairs dabbling in a small way in the stuff of which events are made he becomes a potent factor a man a creator a god though in the germ end of chapter 17 chapter 18 of quit your worrying by george worton james this library box recording is in the public domain recording by jillian henry worry about manners and speech many people are desperately worried about their manners one has but to read the letters written to the answers to correspondence departments of the newspapers to see how much worry this subject of manners causes this brings undoubtedly from a variety of causes people brought up in the country removing to the city find the conditions of life very different from those to which they have been accustomed and they are uncertain as to what city people regard as the right and proper things to do where one perforce must act uncertainty is always irritating or worrying and because of this uncertainty many people worry even before the time comes to act now if their worry would take a practical and useful turn or perhaps i had better state it in another way namely that if they would spend the same time in deciding what their course of action should be there would be an end put to the worry we have all seen such people they are worried less their clothes are not all right for the occasion less their tie is off the wrong shade their shoes of the correct style and a thousand and one things that they seem to conjure up for the special purpose of worrying over them who has not seen the nervousness the worried expression on their face the real misery of such people caused by trifles that are so insignificant as not to be worth one tenth the bother wasted on them the learning of a few fundamental principles will help out wonderfully the chief end of good manners is to oil the wheels of social converse hence the first and most important principle to learn is a due and proper consideration for the rights opinions and comfort of others in other words don't think of yourself so much as off the other fellow let your question be not how can i secure my own pleasure and comfort but how can i best secure his it is a self-evident proposition that you cannot make him feel comfortable and happy if you are uncomfortable and unhappy hence the first thing to do is to quit worrying and be comfortable this desired state of mind will come as soon as you have courageously made up your mind as to what standard of manners you intend to follow the world is made up today largely of two classes those who have money and those who don't off the former class a certain few set themselves up as the arbiters of good manners they decide what shall be called good form and what is not allowable if you belong to that class the best thing you can do is to learn to play the game their way study their rules of calling cards and learn whether you leave one two three or six when you are calling upon a man or a woman or both or their oldest unmarried daughter or the rest of the family this is a regular game like golf or polo you have to know the course the tools to use and the method of going from one goal to another now i never knew any ordinarily intelligent man or woman who couldn't learn the names of the tools used in golf the numbers of the holes and the rules of the game how you play the game is another matter and so is it in good society you can learn the rules as easy as the next one and then it is up to you as to how you play it you'll have to study the fashions in clothes the fashions in handkerchiefs and how to flirt with them when to drink tea and wear how to lose money gracefully at bridge how to gavel incessantly and not know what you are talking about how to listen intelligently and not have the remotest idea what your visa v is saying to you you'll have to join steam clubs and read 10 new novels a day go to every new play know all about the latest movies know all the latest ideas of social uplift study art the spiritual essence of color the futurists and the cubists of course you'll study the period of england and know all about rank and presidents and indeed you'll have your hands and mind so full of things that will make such a hash of life that it will take 10 specialists to straighten you out and help you to die 40 years before your time hence if that is the life you intend to live throw this book into the fire it will be wasting your time to read it if you don't belong to the class of the extra rich but are all the time wishing that you did that you had their money could live as they live and as far as you can you imitate copy and follow them then again i recommend that you give this book to the nearest news boy and let him sell it and get some good out of it you are not yet ready for it or else you have gone so far beyond me in life that you are out of my reach if on the other hand you belong to the class of workers those who have to earn their living and wish to spend their lives intelligently and usefully you can well afford to disregard after you have learned to apply the few basic principles of social converse the whims the caprices the artificial code set up by the so-called arbiters of fashion manners and good form which are not formulated for the promotion of intelligent intercourse between real manhood and womanhood but for the preservation and strengthening of the barriers of wealth and caste connected with this phase of the subject is a consideration of those who are worried less in word or action they fail in gentility they are afraid to do anything lest it should not be regarded as genteel when they shake hands it must be done not so much with hearty friendly spontaneity but with gentility and you wonder what that faint touch of fingers reached high in air means they would be mortified beyond measure if they failed to observe any of the little gentilities of life while the larger consideration of their visitors disregard of the matter would entirely escape them to such people social intercourse is a perpetual worry and bugbear they are on the watch every moment and if a visitor fails to say pardon me at the proper place or stands with his back to his hostess for a moment or does any other of the things that natural men and women often do they are shocked then it would be amusing were it not pathetic to see how particular they are about their speech what they say and how they say it as dr palmer has tersely said we're terrorized by custom and inclined to adjust what we would say to what others have said before and he might have added it must be said in the same manner i cannot help asking why men and women should be terrorized by custom the method followed or prescribed by other men and women why be so afraid of others why so anxious to count how to the standards of others who are they what are they that they should demand the reverent following of the world have you anything to say have you a right to say it is it wise to say it then in the name of god of manhood of common sense say it directly positively assertively as is your right remembering the assurance of the declaration of independence that all men are created equal don't worry about whether you are saying it in the genteel fashion of someone else's standard make your own standard even the standards of the grammar books and dictionaries are not equal to that of a man who has something to say and says it forcefully truthfully pointedly directly dr palmer has a few words to say on this phase of the subject which are well worthy serious consideration quote the cure for the first of these troubles is to keep our eyes on our object instead of on our listener or ourselves and for the second to learn to rate the expressiveness of language more highly than its computers the opposite of this the disposition to set correctness above expressiveness produces that peculiarly vulgar diction known as school mam english in which for the sake of a dull accord with usage all the picturesque imaginative and forceful employment of words is sacrificed end quote there you have it if you have something to say that really means something think of that rather than of the way of saying it you hear or yourself that you will lose your self-consciousness your dread your fear your worry if your thought is worth anything you can afford to laugh at some small violation of grammar or the knocking over of some cynical standard or other not that i would be thought to advocate either carelessness laziness or indifference in speech quite the contrary as all who have heard me speak well know but i fully believe that thought is of greater importance than form of expression and as for grammar i believe with thomas jefferson that quote whenever by small grammatical negligences the energy of your ideas can be condensed or a word be made to stand for a sentence i hold grammatical rigor in content end quote i was present once when thomas carlyle and a technical grammarian were talking over some violation of correct speech according to the latter standard when carlyle suddenly burst forth in effect in his rich scotch burr who i'm one i'd have you ken i'm one of the men that make the language for little puppies like you to paw over with your little twidlin grammars by all means know all the grammar you can read the best of poets and prose authors to see how they have mastered the language but don't allow your life to become a burden to you and others because if you worry lest you slip a grammatical cog here and there when you know you have something worth saying and if you haven't anything worth saying please please keep your mouth shut no matter what the genteel books prescribe for nothing can justify the talk of an empty-headed fool who will insist upon talking when he and his listeners know he has nothing whatever to say so if you must worry let it be about something worthwhile getting hold of ideas the strength of your thought the power of your emotion the irresistible sweep of your enthusiasm the forcefulness of your indignation about wrong these are things it is worthwhile to set your mind upon and when you have decided what you ought to say and are absorbed with the power of its thought the need the world has for it you will care little about the exact form of your words like the flood of a mighty stream they will pour forth carrying conviction with them and to convince your hearer of some powerful truth is an object worthy the highest endeavour of a godlike man or woman surely a far different object than worrying as to whether the words or method of expression meet some absurd standard of what is conceived to be gentility congressman hobson of mary mac fame and ex-president rosevelt are both wonderful illustrations of the point i am endeavoring to impress upon my readers i heard hobson when in philadelphia at a public dinner given in his honor he made his first speech after his return from cuba it was evident that he had been and was much worried about what he should say and the result was everybody else was worried as he tried to say it his address was a pitiable failure mainly because he had little or nothing to say and yet tried to make a speech later he entered congress began to feel intensely upon the subjects of national defence and prohibition of the alcoholic liquor traffic a year or so ago i heard him speak on the latter of these subjects here now was an entirely different man he was possessed with a great idea he was no longer trying to find something to say but in a powerful earnest and enthusiastic way he poured forth facts figures argument and illustration that could not fail to convince an open mind and profoundly impress even the prejudiced it was the same with rosevelt when he first began to speak in public it was hard work he wrote his addresses beforehand and then read them perhaps he does now for ought i know to the contrary but i do know that now that he is full of the subjects of national honour in dealing with such cases as mexico belgium and armenia and our preparedness to sacrifice life itself rather than honor his words pour forth in a perfect niagara of strong robust manly argument protest and remonstrance which gives one food for deep thought no matter how much he may differ there are those who worry about the gentility of others i remember when charles vagner the author of the simple life was in this country we were dining at the home of a friend and one of these super sensitive finical sticklers for gentility was present vagner was speaking in his big simple primitive way of a man brought up as a peasant and more concerned about what he was thinking than whether his table manners conformed to the latest standard there was some gravy on his plate he wanted it he took a piece of bread and used it as a sop and then impaling the gravy soaked bread on his fork he conveyed it to his mouth with gusto and relish my genteel friend commented upon it afterwards as disgusting and lost all interest in the man and his work as a consequence to my mind the criticism was that of a fool john mur the eminent poet naturalist of the mountains of california had a habit at the table of crumbing his bread that is toying with it until it crumbled to pieces in his hand he would at the same time be sending out a steady stream of the most entertaining interesting fascinating and instructive lore about birds and beasts trees and flowers glaciers and rocks that one ever listened to in his mental occupancy he knew not whether he was eating his soup with a fork or an ice cream spoon and cared less neither did anyone else with brains and an awakened mind that soared above mere conventional manners and yet i once had an eastern woman of great wealth recently acquired and of great pretensions to social manners at whose table mur had eaten inform me that she regarded him as a rude boor because for sooth he was unmindful of these trivial and unimportant conventions when engaged in conversation now neither Wagner nor Muir would justify any advocacy on my part of neglect of true consideration courtesy or good manners but where is the lack of breeding in sopping up gravy with a piece of bread or crumbing or eating soup with a spoon of one shape or another these are purely arbitrary rules laid down by people who have more time than sense money than brains and who as i have elsewhere remarked are far more anxious to preserve the barriers that society and caste have placed between mankind than in seeking an active realisation of the biblical idea of the brotherhood of man end of chapter 18 chapter 19 of quit your worrying by George Wharton James this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jillian Henry the worries of jealousy a prolific source of worry is jealousy not only the jealousy that exists between men and women but that exists between women and women and between men and men there are a thousand forms that this hideous monster of evil assumes and when they have been catalogued unclassified another thousand will be found awaiting around the corner of entirely different categories but all alike they have one definite origin one source one cause and that cause i am convinced is selfishness we wish to own to dominate to control absolutely entirely for our own pleasure and satisfaction that of which we are jealous in chapter one i tell the incident of the young man on the streetcar whose jealous worry was so manifest when he saw his girl smiling upon another man i suppose most men and women feel or have felt at some time or other this sex jealousy that woman belongs to me her smiles are mine her pleasant words should fall on my ear alone i am her lover she the mistress of my heart and that should content her every writer of the human heart has expatiated upon this great source of worry jealousy Shakespeare refers to it again and again the whole play of Othello rests upon the Moore's jealousy of his fair sweet and loyally faithful Desdemona how the fiendish iago plays upon Othello's jealous heart until one sees that quote trifles light as air are to the jealous confirmations strong as proofs of holy rift end quote iago bitterly resents a slight he feels Othello has put upon him with his large generous unsuspicious nature Othello never dreams of such a thing he trusts iago as his intimate friend and thus gives the crafty fiend the opportunity he desires to quote put the Moore into a jealousy so strong that judgment cannot cure make the Moore thank me love me reward me for making him egregiously an ass and practicing upon his peace and quiet even to madness end quote Othello gives his wife Desdemona a rare handkerchief iago urges his own wife who is Desdemona's maid to pill for this and bring it to him when he gets it he leaves it in Cassio's room Cassio was an intimate friend of Othello's one indeed who had gone with him when he went to woo Desdemona and who by iago's machinations had been suspended from his office of Othello's chief lieutenant to provoke Othello's jealousy iago now urges Desdemona to plead Cassio's cause with her husband and at the same time eggs on Othello to watch Cassio quote look to your wife observe her well with Cassio wear your eye thus not jealous nor secure i would not have your free and noble nature out of self bounty be abused look to it end quote thus he works Othello up to a rage and yet all the time pretends to be holding him back quote i do see you're moved i pray you not to strain my speech to grosser issues nor to larger reach than to suspicion end quote iago leaves the handkerchief in Cassio's room at the same time saying quote the mirror already changes with my poison dangerous conceits are in their nature's poisons which at the first are scarce found to distaste but with a little act upon the blood burn like the mines of sulfur end quote and as he sees the tortures the jealous worries of the mirror have already produced in him he exultingly yet stealthily rejoices quote not poppy nor mandracora nor all the drowsy syrups of the world shall ever medicine thee to that sweet sleep which thou hadst yesterday end quote well might Othello exclaim that he is set on the rack each new suspicion is a fresh pool of the lever a tightening of the strain to breaking point and soon his jealousy turns to the fierce and murderous anger iago hoped it would quote like to the Pontic sea whose icy current and compulsive course nerve feels retiring ebb but keeps due on to the proponic and the helispont even so my bloody thoughts with violent pace shall never look back near ebb to humble love till that a capable and wide revenge swallow them up end quote thus he was urged on worried by his jealousy until in his bloody rage he slew his faithful wife poor Desdemona we weep her fate yet at the same time we should deeply lament that Othello was so beguiled and seduced by his jealousy to so horrible a deed and few men or women there are unless their souls are purified by the wisdom of god that are not liable to jealous influences our human nature is weak and full of subtle treacheries that like iago seduce us to our own undoing he who yields for one moment to the worries of jealousy is already on the downward path that leads to misery woe and deep undoing iago is made to declare the philosophy of this fact when in the early portion of the play he says to Rodrigo quote to his inner selves we are thus or thus our bodies are our gardens to the which our wills are gardeners so that if we will plant nettles or soul lettuce set this up and weed up time supply it with one gender of herbs or distract it with many either to have its sterile with idleness or manure with industry why the power and courageable authority of this lies in our wills end quote therein surely is great truth we can plant or weed up in the garden of our minds whatever we will we can have it sterile with idleness or fertilize it with industry and it must ever be remembered that the more fertile the soil the more evil weeds will grow apace if we water and tend them our jealous worries are the poisonous weeds of life's garden and should be rooted out instantly and kept out until not a sign of them can again be found Solomon sang that jealousy is as cruel as the grave the coals thereof are coals of fire which hath a most vehement flame what a graphic picture of worry a fire of vehement flame burning scorching destroying peace happiness content joy and reducing them to ashes in my travel and observation i have found a vast amount of jealous worry in institutions of one kind and another such as the indian service in reform schools in humane societies in hospitals among the nurses and so on it seems to be one of the misfortunes of weak human nature when men and women associate themselves together to do some work which ought to call out all the nobleness the magnanimity the godlike qualities of their souls they become maggoty with jealous worries worry that they are not accorded the honor that is their due worry that their work is not properly appreciated worry lest someone else becomes a favorite of the superintendent and so on and so on and so on ad-libiton worries of this nature in every case are a proof of small or undeveloped natures no truly great man or woman can be jealous jealousy implies that you are not sure of your own worth ability power you find someone else is being appreciated you covet that appreciation for yourself whether you deserve it or not in other words you yield to a cursed selfishness utterly forgetful of the apostolic injunction in honor preferring one another and the same jealousies are found among men and women in every walk of life in trade in the office among professors in schools colleges universities in the learned professions among lawyers physicians and even among the ministers of the gospel and judges upon the bench oh shame shame upon the littleness the meanness the paltryness of such jealousies of the worries that come from them how any human being is to be pitied whose mortal mind is corroded with the biting acid of jealous worry when i see those who are full of worry because yielding to this demon of jealousy i am almost inclined to believe in the old-time presbyterian doctrine of total depravity whenever wherever you find yourself feeling jealous take yourself by the throat figuratively and strangle the feeling then go and frankly congratulate the person of whom you are jealous upon some good you can truthfully say you see in him spread his praises abroad seek to do him honor thus by active work against your own paltry emotion you will soon overcome it and be free from its damning and damnable worries akin to the worries of jealousy are the worries of hate how much worry hate causes the hater he alone can tell he spends hours in conjuring up more reasons for his hate than he would care to write down every success of the hated is another stimulant to worry and each step forward is a sting full of pain and bitterness he who hates walks along the path of worry and so long as he hates he must worry hence there is but one practical way of escape from the worries of hatred namely by ceasing to hate by overcoming evil with good end of chapter 19 chapter 20 of quit your worrying by george worton james this library box recording is in the public domain recording by jillian henry the worries of suspicion he who has a suspicious mind is ever the prey of worry such a one is to be pitied for he is tossed hither and yawn to and fro at the whim of every breath of suspicion he breathes he has no real peace of mind no content no unalloyed joy for even in his hours of pleasure of recreation of expected jollity he is worrying lest someone is trying to get ahead of him his visa v is jollying him his partner at golf is trying to steal a march on him he is not being properly served at the picnic and so on these suspicious minded people are sure that every man is a scoundrel at heart more or less and needs to be watched no man or woman is to be trusted every grocer will sand his sugar chicory his coffee sell buttering for butter and cold storage eggs for fresh if he gets a chance to accept the word of a stranger is absurd as it is also to believe in the disinterestedness of a politician reformer office holder a corporation or a rich man but to believe evil to expect to be swindled or prepare to be deceived is the height of perspicacity and wisdom how wonderfully shakespeare in othello portrays the wretchedness of the suspicious man one reason why iago so hated the mur was that he suspected him quote the thoughts wear off doth like a poisonous mineral gnaw my innards and nothing can or shall content my soul till i am evened with him end quote how graphic the similee gnaw my innards it is the perpetual symbol of worry the poisonous mineral ever biting away the lining of the stomach just as mice and rats gnaw at the backs of the most precious books and destroy them i as they gnaw during the nighttime and drive sleep away from the weary so does suspicion gnaw with its sharp worrying teeth to the destruction of peace happiness and joy then when iago has poisoned othello's mind with suspicions about his wife how the mur is worried gnawed by them quote by heaven he echoes me as if there were some monster in his thought too hideous to be shown to iago thou just mean something i heard they say even now though likes not that when cassio left my wife what did's not like and when i told thee he was off my counsel in my whole course of wooing thou cried indeed and its contract and purse thy brow together as if thou then hadst shut up in thy brain some horrible conceit if thou dost love me show me thy thought end quote and then we know how with crafty devilish cunning iago plays upon these suspicions fans their spark into flames he pretends to be doing it purely on othello's account and accuses himself that quote it is my nature's plague to spy into abuses and yet my jealousy shapes faults that are not end quote and then cries out quote oh beware my lord of jealousy it is the green eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on that cuckold lives in bliss who's certain of his fate loves not his wronger but oh what damned minutes tells he or who don't yet doubts suspects yet strongly loves end quote there indeed the woe of the suspicious is shown his minutes are really damned peace flies his heart rest from his couch sanity from his throne and yielding himself he becomes filled with murderous anger and imperils his salvation here and hereafter end of chapter 20 chapter 21 of quit your worrying by George Wharton James this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Gillian Henry the worries of impatience how many of our worries come from impatience we do not want to wait until the fruition of our endeavors comes naturally until the time is ripe until we are ready for that which we desire we wish to overrule conditions which are beyond our power we fail to accept the inevitable with a good grace we refuse to believe in our circumscriptions our limitations and in our arrogance and pride express our anger our indignation our impatience i have seen people whose auto has broken down worried fearfully because they would not arrive somewhere as they planned and in their impatient fretfulness they annoyed angered and upset all around them without in one single degree improving their own condition or hastening the repair of the disaster what folly what more than childish foolishness a child may be excused for its impatience and petulance for it has not yet learned the inevitable facts of life such as that breaks must be repaired tires must be made so that they will not leak and that the gasoline tank cannot be empty if the machine is to run but a man a woman is supposed to have learned these incontrovertible facts and should at the same time have learned acquiescence in them a train is delayed one has an important engagement worry seems inevitable and excusable but is it where is the use will it replace the destroyed bridge renew the washed out track repair the broken engine how much better to submit to the inevitable with grateful acceptance of the fact than to fret stew worry and at the same time irritate everyone around you how serenely nature rebukes the impatience of the fretful warrior a man plants corn wheat barley potatoes or trees that take five seven years to come to bearing such as the orange olive walnut date and so on let him fret ever so much worry all he likes chafe and fret every hour let him go and dig up his seeds or plants to urge their up-growing let him even swear in his impatient worry and threaten to smash all his machinery discharge his men and turn his stock loose nature goes on her way quietly unmoved serenely unhurried undisturbed by the folly of the one creature of earth who is so senseless as to worry namely man many a man's hair has turned gray and many a woman's brow and cheeks have become furrowed because of fretful impatient worry over something that could not be changed or hastened or improved my conception of life is that manhood womanhood should rise superior to any and all conditions and circumstances whatever happens spirit should be supreme superior in control and until we learn that lesson life so far has failed in as much as we do learn it life has become a success end of chapter 21 chapter 22 of quit your worrying by George Wharton James this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Gillian Henry the worries of anticipation he crosses every bridge before he comes to it is a graphic and proverbial rendering of a description of the man who worries in anticipation something sure is going to happen he is always fearful not of what is but of what is going to be for 20 years he has managed to live and pay his rent but at the beginning of each month he begins afresh to worry where next month's rent is going to come from he collected his bills fairly well for a business lifetime but if a debtor fails to send in his check on the very day he begins to worry and fear lest he fail to receive it his wife has given him four children but at the coming of the fifth he is sure something extraordinarily painful and adverse is going to happen he sees possibly here i should say she sees their son climbing a tree she is sure he will fall and break a leg an arm or his neck her boy mustn't ride the horse lest he fall and injure himself if he goes to swim he is surely in danger of being drowned and she could never allow him or his sister to row in a boat lest it be overturned the child must be watched momentarily lest it fall out of the window search out a sharp knife swallow poison or do some irreparable damage to the bric-a-brac here let me relate an incident the truth of which is vouched for and which clearly illustrates the difference between the attitude of worry and that of trust one day when flattich a pious minister of the vertenberg was seated in his armchair one of his foster children fell out of a second-story window right before him to the pavement below he calmly ordered his daughter to go and bring up the child on doing so it was found the little one had sustained no injury a neighbour however aroused by the noise came in and reproached flattich for his carelessness and inattention while she was thus remonstrating her own child which she had brought with her fell from the bench upon which she had seated it and broke its arm do you see good women said the minister if you imagine yourself to be the sole guardian of your child then you must constantly carry it in your arms I commend my children to God and even though they then fall they are safer than where I to devote my whole time and attention to them those who anticipate evils for their children too often seem to bring down upon their loved ones the very evils they are afraid of and one of the greatest lessons of life and one that brings immeasurable and uncountable joys when learned is that nature the great father mother of us all is kindly disposed to us we need not be so alarmed so fearful so anticipatory of evil at her hands charles warne stoddard used to tell of the great dread mark twain was wont to feel during the exhaustion and reaction he felt at the close of each of his lectures lest he should become incapable of further writing and lecturing and therefore become dependent upon his friends and die a popper how wonderfully he conquered this demon of perpetual worry all those who know his life are aware how that when his publisher failed he took upon himself a heavy financial burden for which he was in no way responsible went on a lecture tour around the world and paid every cent of it and finally died with his finances in a most prosperous condition the anticipatory worries of others are just as senseless foolish and absurd as were those of mark twain and it is possible for every man to overcome them even as did he the cloud we anticipate seldom if ever comes and then generally in a different direction from where we sought it time spent on looking for the cloud and figuring how much of injury it will do us had better be utilised in garnering the hay crop bringing in the lambs or hauling warm fodder and bedding for them there is another side however to this worrying anticipation of troubles the ancient philosophers recognised it look and wrote the very fear of approaching evil has driven many into peril there are those who believe that the very concentration of thought upon a possible evil will bring to pass the peculiar arrangement of circumstances that makes the evil of this belief i am not competent to speak but i am fully assured that it is far from helpful to be contemplating the possibility of evil in my own life i have found that worrying over evils in anticipation has not prevented their coming and on the other hand that where i have boldly faced the situation without fear and its attendant worries the evil has fled hence whether worries in hand or worries to come worries real or worries imaginary the wise sane and practical course is to kill them all and thus quit your worrying end of chapter 22