 Being in love can be a rush. It's new, exciting, and it makes you feel like you can walk on water. We've been there too. It feels like you want to be around this person all waking hours of the moment. Pause. In your relationships, this is totally normal and called the honeymoon phase. According to the Cleveland Clinic, this unicorns and rainbows feeling fades over time, and this is normal. However, there is something called obsessive love disorder. New fear unlocked, am I right? The integral life center defines this disorder as a psychological condition that presents as an overwhelming obsessive desire to protect and possess another person. So, is your partner showing healthy or obsessive love? Let's find out with these six signs. One, childhood trauma. If you've been watching Psych2Go for a bit, we know a lot of our struggles in life are from something negative in our childhood. As children, we develop a specific attachment style to our parents, and this tends to follow us into our adult years. And into our romantic relationships. One of these styles is called the ambivalent and secure attachment style, which is having both positive and negative responses towards a parent, according to the APA. An example would be loving your parent, but fearing them too. In 2015, Hanari and Saremi concluded that individuals with an ambivalent and secure attachment style are more likely to develop obsessive love toward their partner. The unhealthy relationship with a parent becomes the individual's baseline for how to have a relationship. Both romantic and platonic. If you can't tell if your partner is loving you in a healthy way, ask about their parents. It may be a sign of obsessive love. Two, micromanaging. Have you ever had a teacher or boss hovering over your shoulder asking you what you're working on a few times every hour? This is micromanaging, and it can make you feel like you're under a microscope all hours of the day. I don't know about you, but that's not how I want to feel when I'm at home with my partner. I want to feel comfortable enough to walk around in my fuzzy Chewbacca onesie, sipping on my cup of noodles while singing show tunes, with no judgment. Medical author and psychiatrist Roxanne Dryden Edwards, MD, agrees too. In her article about obsessive love on medicine net, she explains how a partner who loves you obsessively can attempt to control what and when you eat, what you spend your money on, and how much you spend, sometimes where you go and who you're hanging out with. This controlling behavior shows codependency tendencies. It can be a good indicator of obsessive love. Three, love bombing. Okay, we can have fun. It feels amazing when you have someone telling you how awesome, smart, funny, and attractive you are. It can feel so good, but you know what they say about too much of a good thing. When obsessive love is present, a partner may oversaturate the relationship with these seemingly sweet nothings. Sex therapist and licensed social worker Janet Bridow, PhD, LCW, CST, states in her health line article that love bombing doesn't even have to be words. It can be showering you with gifts, fancy dates, blowing up your phone with calls and texts, convincing you that you are meant to be, or even pushing the relationship forward. Not saying this is the case for everyone, but does anyone have a friend who met someone and was engaged in six months or less? This could be love bombing, and this could be a sign of obsessive, not healthy, love. Four, ignoring responsibilities. The honeymoon phase is filled with puppy love and lots of being together. Like we said, this is totally normal, but it's also normal for these intense feelings to fade, like Lily and Marshall from how I met your mother. As they mature, the relationship matures with them, and the heart so they think. In a healthy relationship, instead of having that need to go be with your partner, you're able to prioritize and get your to-do list checked off, then go be with your partner. If you and your partner are out of that honeymoon phase, a craving to be together may be a sign of obsessive love. Many symptoms of obsessive love disorder, such as ignoring others' boundaries, intolerance of distance between them and their loved one, need for constant contact in person, or digitally. Number five, intense emotions. Have you ever heard the phrase, the crime fits the punishment? Well, emotions should fit the situation. If your partner accidentally ate your leftovers that you were thinking about all day, sure. Being frustrated and annoyed is understandable. However, this shouldn't be enough fuel to fire up an all-out screaming match. When someone is experiencing obsessive love disorder, their emotions regarding their loved one can be just as disproportionate. If they're unable to be with or speak to you, this might bring out really intense emotions, like anger, jealousy, or emotional outbursts, according to both Hanari and Saremi and Dredden Edwards. And number six, other mental illnesses. Now, let's be very clear. Having one mental illness does not mean you have them all, they're not Pokemon. However, sometimes having one mental illness can increase the potential of having another or multiple other illnesses. With obsessive love disorder, this is centered around one's emotions toward someone else. Other mental illnesses that have a similar focus can cause obsessive love disorder as a symptom. Let's take borderline personality disorder, or BPD for example. Timothy J. Legg, PhD and PsiD at Healthline, reminds us that BPD is characterized by severe mood swings and a negative self-image, based on a chemical imbalance in the brain. These mood swings can be directed solely at your partner if you feel inadequate in the relationship, which may cause you to feel good one day and then angry at anything they do another day. Again, just because you already have a diagnosis doesn't mean you also have obsessive love disorder. But it could be something to explore with a mental health professional. Healthy, nurturing and positive relationships are the goal for everyone. Sure, we want our partner to be a little addicted to us, but clinical obsession can be serious. Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner may have been experiencing obsessive love disorder? Instead of a healthy love? Were there any signs you saw that we missed? Let us know in the comments below. As always, keep an eye on Psi for more Psych2Go content. Until next time.