 In every woman, woman, woman In every way, yeah, yeah I'm living my life, life Living day by day Welcome to Every Way Woman There are some major changes happening in the talk show world Live from Los Angeles, here's Every Way Woman I want to stay in this small city and I just saw a bigger picture That's what I meant when I said you're different You saw the big picture They know I'm crazy But I mean, my thing is I don't want to be different I mean, I like being different but I think normal to me is different So I don't know Yeah, nothing I happen to military families so we moved around a lot And so there wasn't really a norm There wasn't a norm Nothing was normal when I was growing up I found out that it wasn't normal by talking to normal people So that's how I learned But I mean, I'm being a mix Sometimes I can blend into... What do you miss with? Well, I'm Korean and Irish Wow When I lived in a Latin community When I first came to LA and I went to the grocery store and everyone was Spanish and I was just trying to pick food I didn't understand what some other things were They spoke to me in Spanish and I go, I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish And this one man got so upset with me and going off in Spanish and I'm looking at him like, I don't speak Spanish I'm sorry, did I say something? And he goes, why are you trying to be somebody or not? Why do you think you're trying to be white? Why do you let him go of your culture? Why are you this and this and this? And I go, he thought it was half Spanish Wow And I remember looking at him going, I'm Korean I had to speak in Korean I was like, no, I don't speak Korean No, I don't speak Korean And he's looking at me like, wow You know, and he kind of walked away Well, now that you're talking about the Latino community I think in the Latino community what's the older generation it's like you have to be married you have to have children and it's like I always get that when I go to parties I don't have children, I don't have children You know, it's already passed You know, and I'm like, I get a visit I'm like, I don't want to get married right now You know, that's what they tell you Well, I say it all May Four days after college, move across country I'm not married, I don't have a child I'm not going to have 31 or anything What I'm going to do with the rest of my life And I'm a black sheep I'm like a crazy spin switcher But you know what though, I've always You know, even just within my family I've always been considered the one who You know what, depending on the mood of how they're addressing me I'm either the one that marches to the beat of my own drum Or, you know, if they're in a less benevolent mood then I'm the crazy one But I've always been comfortable doing my own thing But I think African-American culture is different Absolutely So I think sometimes we get the stereotype of saying you know what, all African-Americans don't do this or African-Americans don't do that And I think that's a myth Sometimes we do step out the boundaries and we go for it You know what, you're absolutely right because I can't tell you how many people looked at me with a side-eye question mark when I told them that this past February I went to Japan to go snowboarding They're like, wait a minute You went all the way to the side I mean, did they look at you like that? I don't even know how difficult it is to get some African-American friends to go camping with me You know? But I think our generation now is a little bit different because we have a little more freedom and we see life a little bit different instead of the confined segregation I have to say that social media in that way I think it's been so eye-opening because we get to see how other cultures live not just other cultures but other cultures get to see what we do No, no, no, they don't really get to see it They get to see an idealized version They get to see what we present to them of what we present to them Exactly Not anymore Not anymore But you know what though? Not with us, baby I think some of the younger ones are kind of turning into the TMI generation Yeah, with the younger ones you can on their social media it's like, wow, do you tell that to people? I mean, they just, they're everything I know, there's a lot of things but there's good things too Sure, okay Like us Like us But I think it's interesting too because in some ways then instead of people wanting to be different they're seeing what they want to do and what they want to be like everybody else I think I want to raise my children with their culture and let them know who they are but then also let them know they're not bound to the structure that society put on them and so you can be who you want to be and still be proud African-American and still be who you are Yeah, that's beautiful More when we return to them Ladies, school is in session Get ready for your first class Gynecology 101 Stay tuned to Every Way Woman Are you an Every Way Woman Dr. Sherry Thomas is here to talk about a little gynecology 101 which you should and should not expect from your appointment Dr. Sherry you guys are a little scary You know that, right? Just going through a gynecologist is always going to be scary We love you, but you are a little scary We try to make it a little less scary But listen, really why should women go to a gynecologist? Well, of course when you become sexually active you want to start seeing a gynecologist and if you're under 21 your daughter will tell you Mom, I'm tired of seeing the pediatrician I'm ready to see a gynecologist Now, I start out by saying it's scary What should I expect? Especially on my first visit to a gynecologist what should I expect? Well, you should expect to have your doctor talk to you about your history your family history and all the other things that your primary care doctor if you aren't seeing them yet will talk to you about your vaccinations your health history Are you exercising? Are you eating well? Do you smoke? They'll talk to you about that and then they'll ask you if you have any concerns any reason you specifically came to see them Have you been recently sexually active and maybe you were worried you might have a sexually transmitted disease? So I have a 17-year-old and a 15-year-old and I don't believe they're sexually active but when should I introduce them to a gynecologist have them have a pelvic exam or a pap smear? That's a great question for most parents of children women that you wonder when are my little girls going to start being sexually active? I'm sure you've talked a little bit to them about sexual activity I have and they all see a pediatrician every year up until they're about 18 but there's a transition between the pediatrician and a gynecologist where you can ask your daughters see would you be interested in seeing a gynecologist? That means there's more that they want to talk about with a gynecologist and that's a great start But you know Dr. Thomas there's an illusion that the gynecologist is only for when you're sexually active but we both know that cervical cancer and other things can come out of a pap smear and out of a pelvic exam, right? So they don't know about that so how do I talk to them about that? Well, cervical cancer and abnormal pap smears are later in life most women aren't going to have a pap smear before 21 Okay so that you won't need to worry about if a young girl is having gynecologic issues a vaginal discharge or something a pediatrician can't help then they will refer you to a gynecologist but most girls between the ages of about 16 to 21 become sexually active and that's when they should think about seeing a gynecologist or if their primary healthcare provider does pediatrics and also sees adult women that's a great transition they don't even have to make So when I'm at the gynecologist is there anything that I shouldn't share with you? When I come in to see you Dr. is there anything I shouldn't share with you? Oh, you should find a gynecologist you can share everything with Okay because it's so important that you are able to tell that doctor everything that's how we help you if you are having an extramarital affair if you had an unwanted sexual experience we need to know so that we can help you right away Now, is there a certain age that I don't have to see you anymore? Then I'm done No more plastic clamps Is there a certain age? It's not after that first exam as you would like it to be So there's a point when if a woman's had a hysterectomy that she doesn't need a pap smear but at 65 if she stops having has had pap smears at all normal she can stop having pap smears but a pelvic exam is very important we detect things like rectal cancers and other pelvic masses so I recommend you have a pelvic exam every couple of years the rest of your life whether you have a pap smear or not And how do I look for a gynecologist? Since I'm giving you my heart how do I look for it? Oh, that's a great, great question Well, when you move into an area I'd ask your girlfriends, who do you see? Then I'd look online check the doctor's credentials there's so many different evaluations of positions where you can see if people like a particular doctor or not and it also tells you where we went to school and if we actually practice in that area for example, as a gynecologist some of us are just general OBGYNs but say you need an infertility problem it'll give you that doctor's credentials or an oncologist for a cancer or for pelvic surgery and continents or prolapse that's what I do and you can see our credentials see what we treat and so in essence my gynecology gynecology is actually my good friend, right? Absolutely Dr. Thomas, thank you so much for joining us in order to take care of others you have to take care of yourself stay tuned to Everyway Woman Stay with us, we'll be right back Are you an Everyway Woman? All right, so coming up Heather is going to be talking to us about body blueprint I have no idea what that is do you? Find out right here at Everyway Woman When you start working with a personal trainer they need to do a whole body assessment our fitness expert, Heather Benz is here to tell us about her body blueprint that she does with all her clients what is a body blueprint? Well for me it's the term that I give to the complete fitness assessment that I do with my clientele so for example, not only does it involve body fat assessment and a strength assessment which is common for most trainers but in addition I do a cardiovascular assessment a flexibility assessment a physical and balance assessment and a functional movement screen to really make sure I can make the perfect program for each and every client So is that like day one they need to do this with you? Yes, it's the first appointment Okay, and so what kinds of things do they need to do for you to assess all these items? First, show up, just comfortably that's the key and then it's nothing to be afraid of it's nothing scary and it's nothing that requires a lot of work and causes any pain or anything it's just me putting them through a series of movements so I can see how their body moves what's happening in each joint area so I can not only get them to their goal whether it may be fat loss or building muscle or training for race but at the same time helping prevent injury in the future because I'm correcting those dysfunctional movement patterns and the imbalances that we have from everyday life Absolutely, so I don't need to like cram on push-ups if I'm meeting you for the first time Well, not cram on push-ups but you may do some Okay, so I mean I definitely have knee problems that you know I'm prone to those back problems are those things that you can tell? Yes, exactly, based on when we do the screening and how your body moves and the certain movements that I have you go through it's gonna tell me what muscles are underactive or overactive and basically what that means is which muscles are firing all the time and other muscles are hardly firing at all so that we can create more of a balance in that muscular system in your body so that we can put you back in one piece so you're moving properly and you're not causing any pain and hopefully no longer feeling the pain that you were before How much do your shoes matter and you know your gait and all of that? Well in regards to running it's extremely important to have the right running shoes for running because you have to get a gait and all system that's exactly the word to use I'm surprised not everyone knows that Well you know because I have my knee problem so I wonder about that Good, good So when you're doing the assessment do you say okay you run a certain way you need to get a different shoe before I can even start working with you? Is that involved? Well that's more on the running side in the side of doing the body blueprint and everything that's more when I'm having a client come to me for whatever it may be strength training sometimes it is rain training but then I send them to a running specialist that can actually do the gait analysis on them I can see the precursors of it but I actually let someone else do that who specializes in running shoes I don't specialize in running shoes but I get them there But so that's not important with strength training to? Well you do want the right shoe but it's not necessarily one that you have to have your whole gait analyzed you just want a shoe that's stable so for example a lot of times I recommend a cross training shoe so not only is it stable in a forward and backward motion but also side to side and then that's pretty much what you need in the gym And how much do you work with people as far as what they're eating and their nutrition? All the time Nutrition is a huge part of getting to any goal whatever it may be so I always give nutrition guidance to my clients because that's to be honest a majority of it sometimes Because you know I know a lot of people who are like okay I'm working out so I can eat whatever I want I can eat as much chocolate as I want Is there truth to that? Yeah that's true there are people that do that and to be honest when someone does start working out yes you can splurge a little bit and that's part of life I mean I'm not telling my clients they can't eat anything that they don't love because then it wouldn't be realistic I mean we all have something Thank you, we can work together then Right, perfect but it's about moderation and you can still enjoy those little pleasures in life it's just about definitely using moderation But if you don't have your diet on track can you get the results you want still? You can I like it I've never heard that It's just gonna take a lot more hard work on the other aspect but nutrition is still a part of it because that's what I think about I'm like well it's gonna be like 20 more reps that I'd have to do to work out that little brownie bite I mean is that how it plays out basically? Not necessarily no it's different with every client it depends on what your goal is it's kind of hard to say in the general terms but nutrition is a huge part of it but you still can get away with eating some of the good stuff Okay and when you have somewhat how long does it take when you do the blueprint to get them on track to like where they can actually do the routine you want them to do Okay well the blueprint itself usually takes at least an hour sometimes a little bit more because I'm really going into the history of the client in regards to medical history, surgeries, physical fitness history because between all of that and the results that I find then I'm also finding out what is their goal because the goal is to get them to where they want to get as quickly as possible but at the same time I'm kind of help fix and correct at the same time and then we go into a strength program but the assessment itself is about an hour or so Okay so you see you do it in conjunction you like fix them and they don't even know it Sometimes that's the case All right well I like that I like your style Good So when you're thinking about working with a personal trainer you really want someone who is going to do a full assessment on you so whether they call it a body blueprint or whatever you know full analysis they need to make sure they're customizing their workout plan for you we'll be back with more Every Way Woman Come with Every Way Woman You and Every Way Woman Welcome back So I'm here with Jacqueline Jacqueline, you sent us an email and in that email you said that women over 40 are being ignored by the media Why did you feel you had to send us that email? Why did you have to take the time to write it? Well it's true because most fashion ads and media focuses on youth youth youth So we kind of age out of glamour at 35 if we're being advertised too it's about the appliances and the SUVs and the laundry detergent but a lot of us when we come of age when I say you hit your 30s and your 40s and in your stride this is when you want to really express yourself and then we're looking for representation and we don't see it as often as I think we would like to Okay so why did you have to send me the email? Because I know you watched the footage we did tell them why we created the show and when I read the email I was like she gets it but why did you take the time to write me the email? What were you going through? What were you thinking? Well I mean I personally freelance as a fashion model and I'm not because I'm 45 I don't get to do fashion pictures unless I do them on my own which I find absurd because I love clothes and I love the artistry of clothes and I love to express myself through clothes and I'm like how come I can't see someone who looks like me in the clothing app? Okay so when you wrote the email what were going through your mind? Because you told me you said I'm fabulous. Well we are fabulous. Look at you, look at what you're wearing. This is amazing. We need representation. So for example Dr. Ben Berry from Cambridge University did an entire study on this of 2,500 American and Canadian women and he showed them fashion ads with different models in the same Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress which she's famous for. The famous wrap dress which I love. Thank you. And so but the models was the classic 19 year old very thin Caucasian model and then he had an older model and he had a class size model he had an ethnic model and he found that when the women looked at these ads and they're all the same with the beautiful hair and the beautiful makeup the artistry is the same. When they looked at these ads their desire to buy the garment went up 200 to 300% if they saw a model that somehow represented them. And he said the fashion industry, this is his conclusion, fashion industry has it all wrong. Says fashion industry thinks we wanna be skinnier younger versions of ourselves. So how do you feel when you see those ads and you know what, I'd rather see another woman that represent my age. Yeah. You tell me you're fabulous but how do you feel? How does it make you feel when you see another woman that's 19 years old but you know really you're trying to advertise to a 40 year old woman? Well, I mean, what goes through you? One of the most beautiful I can acknowledge her for that. But when I see them put Nicole Kidman who is much closer to my age in the ad I go, oh look that's kind of what I would look like in those clothes. And does that make you want to go out? Yeah. Because you're being representative. So you feel like you're not being represented? No, it's getting better but it's not very common at this point. Right now, a celebrity who's older is starting to appear and a supermodel who's older is starting to appear. As women, what can we do? Well, we can call for it. This research study called for it. The Dove ads, there was this massive consumer increase in Dove when they showed the real woman. And I think what's happening is the more that women voice and clamor for this, the more brands will take notice and go maybe we should include them. Well, you know, as women we control the pocket book. We do. We control what comes in and out the house because we do the shopping. We make the list and we actually go out and buy it. So kind of the responsibility of shiffing this can fall on the woman. She doesn't have to buy these products. So as again, as a woman in her 40s, I don't feel like, oh, I'm gonna go buy that because I'm 19 year old is wearing it. We can't relate to her because that's your daughter's age. Exactly. And so I could And you've been there done that? Right. So it's like, I can see basically women, especially above 40, they're looking at their granddaughter. Exactly. So you had an opportunity to talk to an advertising agency about I'm over 40. I'm fabulous. I wanna be representative. Representative. What would you say to them? You know, I would say it's real easy to make a young girl look amazing in a photograph, in a dress. Because she has no curves. She has no figure. She has perfect skin. But what about you? And I would say, you know, I feel like I'm beautiful, I'm mature and wise. And I now want to express myself through garments that I can afford to buy, which I could not afford to buy when I was 20. So the designers, now I can go buy them, but I can't see in the ads or on the runways, how would I look in that dress? Tom Ford. You know Tom Ford. I know who Tom Ford is. He did an entire runway show with women and actresses of all ages. And he had them sauntering out in the clothes. And that's the moment I fell in love with Tom Ford. Perfect. Because he was talking to me. Okay, well thank you very much for sharing your experience about being over 40 and fabulous. And don't go away. We'll be right back with more. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Every Way Woman gives back to the community. Go to everywaywoman.com to find out how you can match our donations of undergarments for needy kids. Thanks for getting to know Every Way Woman. I'm an everyday woman, woman, woman In every way, yeah, yeah I'm living my life, life, life Living day by day