 This was a couple of months ago, but fuck, it would be funny. So you're the police? Yeah. OK, so I will be Constable Stanley Morrison from the Fernie Grove police station. G'day, am I speaking with Jordan from here? Oh, yeah, I am. No worries, mate. I'm Constable Stanley Morrison from the Fernie Grove police station. Do you have a few minutes to talk? Oh, yeah. Yep. No worries. So we've just recently been handed in a complaint from the Sanford pub saying that there's someone been doing burnouts in the car park and they've just sent the CCTV footage in. And basically, yeah, we just ran the plates and it sort of your names come up. So we can do it a couple of ways. We can come and get a statement off in person or you can deliver one over the phone. But basically, Sanford just wants an explanation and an apology and they've said if you're not willing to do that, then they'll be looking to press charges. Yeah, OK. Well, I'm still working at the moment so I would be able to do one over the phone, but what was the other option? Could I come in and give one or...? Look, you can come in and give one, but just because we've been so sort of backed up with complaints and stuff like that, because of coronavirus, we're sort of pushing through these quite quickly. So you can quickly leave a statement now. It'll take you a couple of minutes or I can't guarantee that the Sanford pub won't press charges if I don't come back with an apology and explanation right now, just because it's taken so long and we need to move through all these complaints as quickly as possible. Yeah, go for it. Everything's being recorded at the entire conversation. So when you're ready, man, off you go. No worries, man. So this sort of stuff, it does happen occasionally and usually patrons in the pub or something do something stupid a couple of times. And so the venue just sort of likes to set an example. But now that you've apologized, if however you do break the law again, they can and will use this confession against you, just letting you know. And also the owner of the pub has also said that they would like a nude photo sent of you. A nude photo? Yeah, it's one of the little side notes at the bottom here. I'm not sure why they've written that, but legally I have to say it. So they want you to send a nude photo of your dick and your asshole, cheeks completely spread, your asshole sent to their mobile phone. All right, so if you could send those, I'll message you the mobile number. That would be, they'll be fully sick. Yep, no luck. This isn't actually the police. This is Marty and Michael from the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast. And one of your mates has fully stitched you up. And you've been done, brother. Oh, that was a beautiful little confession, though, dude. That was very entertaining. Thank you for playing along and you're a fucking, you're a beautiful dude. And keep doing burnouts, man. I don't care. It's just to get a dirt. Do them twice as aggressively now. Lose control. Oh, thank you for playing along. We love you and don't ever forget that we love you. No worries, mate. See you later.