 אוקיי, ברבזונים, שפנפנים, ובונבונים, 3 נו קטגוריות של שפנפנים. וכן לך, כשאתם הולכים לא יהיה מהשפנפנים, מהשפנפנים הולבים, ברבזון, שפנפן, חמדמד, בונבון, ובאותו, אני פרופגטי את היכרות ביבליקל-היברו, ובאותו העולם. האם אני הולה? נכון, ברבזון, ובאותו, אנחנו נותנים לבקשה עוד פרופגטים, מה שפה? פרופגטי, מרוניקי, פרופגטי, פרופגטי, אידיאוטי, ופרופגטי, לא נכון, דיבה, בין פרופגטי ובאותו, ובאותו, פרופגטי. ואנחנו נפוקש עוד פרופגטי על שני פרופגטי, ובשריך אני חושב על מטחה את זה, לגמרי, כי יש שם כל מיני פרופגטים, פרופגטי של עביס, שתקבל את אתם, כל הזמן. כשאני אעשה, עוד פרופגטי על שני פרופגטי. והפרופגטי הוא, עוד פרופגטי על שני פרופגטי. כן, כל מיני פרופגטי ובאותו אתם, שאתה צריך להגיד את פרופגטי. או, שאתה עוד פרופגטי על שני פרופגטי. פרופגטי, привет ועוד ירד. תדוק. תלויהously נשאו לך suspects. כל מיני פרופגטי של cries. אז יהיה mean fellow for you. כן, Rogers,80LS friend. היה מאוחר יא', VOICE HARRIS שזה היה את זה שהם כך כך? כן, חוני, אני נראה מה אני אומר. כשאנחנו מבחין את המדע, אנחנו usually מבחין את המדע שלנו וזה סליח סליחי המדע של עצמך הוא סליח שזה היה עוד מיליון שנה, זה העולקים ווולל storemer million of years to mature among human beings So it's very unlikely to be wrong It's very very unlikely to go right Things that evolution processes That evolution had perfected over millions of years rarely go wrong rarely go right And if you say that your made selection is wrong Something is wrong with you לא מבחינת שלך מבחינת שלך, כי האבולוציון תמיד נכון שאתה ככה נכון For example, if you are a self-loathing and self-trashing masochist you hate yourself you are self-destructive you're sexually self-trashing or otherwise self-trashing you're an alcoholic for example What is the right partner for you? What is the right mate for you? An abusive narcissist If you're this kind of person an abusive narcissist is the right partner for you and he's the right partner for a one-night stand or he could be the right partner for decades to come but he's the right partner for you because you crave pain you want to destroy yourself you self-loathe you hate yourself you disgust yourself you want to punish yourself you are your own worst enemy and so you select the right partner to accomplish these unconscious goals of self-destruction and self-defeat it's the right partner for you something is wrong with you because you are self-defeating self-trashing masochist you need help but as long as you are like that your choice of an abuser as your partner is the right choice for you because this is the way you become self-efficacious by choosing this kind of partner you guarantee that you will be abused, molested, mistreated, maltreated denigrated, degraded humiliated, rejected etc. which is exactly what you want it's a form of self-efficacy and your mate selection is perfect take another case imagine that you are a loner a schizoid at heart you dread intimacy you hate being vulnerable you are afraid of it because you anticipate heartbreak you know that love goes with pain that the flip coin of attachment is hurt and you don't want this so you have something which is called avoidant dismissive attachment style you approach and then you avoid and so if you have an avoidant dismissive attachment style an avoidant dismissive mate an avoidant dismissive intimate partner an avoidant dismissive boyfriend an avoidant dismissive husband that's a match made in heaven that's exactly the kind of man or woman you need if you're avoidant dismissive that's what you need another avoidant dismissive having a true intimate partner someone who really loves you someone who wants to be with you all the time someone who seeks intimacy would only enhance your anxiety it would make you feel bad and depressed it will amplify your insecurities to the point of paranoia you don't need this you need someone who is aloof someone who is detached someone who wants to see you minimally you need a long distance relationship you need to meet each other once or twice a week and have casual the equivalent of casual sex you don't need to go deep you don't need to talk too much you don't need intimacy intimacy is bad for you so if you're avoidant dismissive is the right partner for you what about if you are thrill seeking, reckless and defined well then, the right partner for you is a psychopath you're going to gravitate towards psychopathic intimate partners psychopathic maids and that would be a perfect match because if you are thrill seeking the psychopath would provide you with thrills if you're reckless psychopath is risk taking and if you are defined in your face the psychopath is going to reciprocate that's what you like that's what you want that's what you need that's the right partner for you your attachment style is who you are it's life long it's immutable it could never be changed don't misunderstand me your life goals can and do change they can be modified choices can and do change you can make choices you can alter your behaviors in relationships you can change all these things you can play with all these things one year you can be needy the other year you can be avoidant you can make choices of who to be with or who to not be with you can set life goals set certain kinds of behaviors and certain kinds of things to avoid so your attachment style is set in stone but everything else is pretty fluid but your attachment style make sure that whoever you may end up with is always the right partner for you I want you to listen to this very carefully you're making risen and rational choices in accordance with your attachment style you may end up being in a lot of pain you may end up being in a lot of hurt you may end up having one heartbreak for another but that's precisely what you want that's what you seek you home you home onto the kind of partners who will cater to your emotional needs and if your emotional needs are self defeating and self destructive and reckless and crazy making and what have you you're going to find a partner you're going to find a partner to provide you with the kind of input and the kind of support for these kind of behaviors now these kind of behaviors may be of course so destructive they may be pathological but that's who you are that's who you are your childhood had shaped you irrevocably irretrivably there's nothing you can do about it we are all shaped by our early years that's why they are called formative years because they form you now all the nonsense online and in self-help books and this whole industry this whole industry is con artistry these are con artists they are not updated with psychological research they just spew out utter nonsense I don't know where they are getting this from but be careful because they are telling you what you want to hear they are fostering self malignant pernicious hope malignant optimism in you having false hope in my view is worse than having no hope at all choosing partners by prescription is worse than choosing partners and the only right way is to find someone who resonates with your pathologies with your insecurities with your psychological makeup and above all with your attachment style don't shoehorn yourself don't force yourself into a box because some idiot guru told you so or because some YouTuber with no qualifications had convinced you to behave the way don't do this to yourself here's another piece of moronic advice one of the most moronic crackiness bits of politically correct advice online is the following your partners sexual social and psychological histories your partners past they are not relevant what do you care to know about your partners past you have no right to inquire about the sexual history of your partner the relationship history of your partner your partners predilections and proclivities your partners propensities and choices you have no right to go into all this if you do this you are being patronizing and condescending and onerous and even intrusive and stockish you shouldn't do this only present choices decisions and behaviors matter don't be retroactively jealous for example it's wrong to inquire about your partners past you should be concerned with the present and the future this is by far the most stupid advice anyone could give you I mean you need to be a chimpanzee and yet there are many chimpanzees online without fear by far the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior I'm going to repeat this for your edification and benefit listen well by far the best predictor of the future behavior of your partner is the past behavior of your partner recidivism defaulting to past misconduct is rife and rampant and prevalent if your partner had behaved in a certain way in the past he is extremely likely to repeat this behavior pattern more than 80% of alcoholics restart drinking restart to drink again within a year a year from rehab almost 70% of criminals repopulate their erstwhile cells criminals commit crimes why? because that's what criminals do alcoholics drink why? because that's what alcoholics do having cheated once you are three times is likely to cheat again it's a fact unpleasant, unpalatable politically incorrect you're supposed to say that everyone can change and anyone can change you can reform yourself poppycock after blood total nonsense you cannot change yourself fundamentally after age 21 end of story neuroplasticity my derriere you can't change some fundamental issues after age 21 I repeat this if you had cheated once you are much more like hundreds of percent more likely to cheat again promiscuous women for example sleep around extra diatically outside the couple much more often than the regulated boundary sort if you had been a promiscuous woman in your past you are extremely likely to be a promiscuous woman again you may have a period or even a long period without promiscuity but it's going to happen again there's nothing you can do about it it's a form of addiction by all means interrogate your new potential intimate partner and I'm using the word interrogate judiciously interrogate your new potential intimate partner to the greatest possible extent be intrusive and insistent and persistent do not take obfuscation for an answer do not allow your partner to get away with some fuzzy generalization insist on details and data it is your only protection against future nasty surprises I mean the proliferation wanna be psychologists armchair psychologists online youtubers with and without academic degrees which are not relevant to the field they are talking about I mean it's a miasma it's a swamp we need a proverbial Donald Trump to drain this swamp I just don't know how to do it now that he's gone oh the heartbreak okay Shoshanim it's not been too long has it have fun with your intimate partners because they are the right ones for you they are always the right ones for you but make sure to know everything about them before you render them before you render them intimate partners before you grant them access to your world be safe in every possible way