 Hi, I'm David Feldman. Welcome to my new webspheries, How to Roast. As many of you know, I'm a world-class roaster. I've written for all the roasts on Comedy Central, and of course, Triumphiancel Comic Dog. I've got two very young comedians here, and we're at the Chelsea Market where I'm teaching them how to roast. So you always find a person's weakness. That's the secret. You find a weak person and then accentuate their weaknesses, and then you're funny. That's the key to roasting. So that man, nice khakis. Where'd you get that? The white guy store? Very good. I can tell you're very good. This girl's over here eating ice cream. It's not hot out. They're worse than men because they're women. Always good to make fun of women. Yeah, no, it's an easy line, and it always comes across as smart, I feel like. Okay, let's see if there's anybody else. There's a young couple. I bet they have some kind of venereal disease. Some kind of STD. Young couple, somebody tell them, love is a myth. Great, that's smart. It's a social construct. He looks like a lumberjack. Look at this douchebag. You spend all your dad's money on that flannel? Hipster? There's a new thing called a razor blade. You might want to try it. Hey, check out. I don't know what this fucking thing is, but you guys are not fucking funny. It's like, hey, my dad's fucking dead. Everything's fucking shitty. I'm just trying to get some gelato over here. Dude, I don't need any of your bullshit. I don't know whatever this fucking razor bullshit is, but this is fucking... I'm a professional roaster. Fuck you, asshole. Are you serious? Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck you, dude. You old man. I fuck your mother with your sister's cock. All right, you know what? This isn't fucking worth it. Your piece of shit. Why don't you go clean your underwear, asshole? Real mature old man. Fuck you. Pretty good, huh? Your hat's dumb. He's got a dumb hat. That was good. Did you learn anything? The hotline. That was good. Good. I'm David Feldman. I'm Danny Vega. David Feldman and Danny Vega. And we're teaching a how to roast. Thanks for tuning in. I'm Danny Abraham.