 I'm Darren Marlar and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News! This episode is brought to you by the free downloadable e-book Terrorism, Exile and the Path to Freedom. Dr. Michael Youssef uses his firsthand knowledge of the Middle East to uncover the shocking history of radical Islam and discusses the only way to save our western civilization as we know it. Download your free guide now by clicking on the free stuff link at MarlarHouse.com. The cover expires Friday, March 31, 2017. Former Olympic figure skater Christy Yamaguchi might want to rethink the wording of a congratulatory tweet she sent to fellow former Olympic figure skater and 1994 knee-clubbing victim Nancy Kerrigan, who is currently competing on Dancing with the Stars. Christy tweeted to Nancy the words, break a leg. Poor word choices. The cover of Time magazine asks the question, is truth dead? Well, of course it is. Ha! Fool's ya! Highlight! U.S. states have a legal drinking limit of .08. Utah's governor said he will sign a bill that would make his state the first in the nation to lower the drunk driving limit to .05 percent. So if you plan on driving through Utah, I'd skip using the listerine mouthwash before the trip. Considered legislation inspired by former Jersey Shore reality TV star Nicole Snooki-Polisi no more than $10,000 of state money can go to pay speakers at New Jersey's public universities. This after Snooki was paid $36,000 back in 2011 to speak at Rutgers University. If you have Jersey Shore cast members giving speeches to the students, can you really call it higher education? Talk about totally weird. In El Sonizo, California, Catherine Sassine and her husband thought they were doing a good deed. They put a bike that they could no longer use out in their front yard with a sign reading free next to it. While they went for a 45 minute walk and when they got back they found the bike gone, replaced by another bike and two duffel bags. And in the backyard Catherine found a strange guy sitting on her futon. She told her that he was just waiting to make sure the bike she left out with the free sign was in fact free. She got him to leave and then discovered her home had been broken into and items had been taken. Okay, the sign said, free. That was just the bike people. Just the bike. Not the entire property. But then the sign wasn't real specific. Twitter has suspended 636,000 accounts to tackle extremism. Ironically, that seems a bit extreme. Alaska Airlines is planning to retire the Virgin American name by the end of 2019. They fully expect by the year 2019 to no longer be able to find any virgins. If you'd like to go on a diving tour of the Titanic in a mini-sub, you'll be able to do that next year. For a mere $105,000. Although if you're really looking for the thrill of experiencing a disaster, just spend a fraction of that money and invite all your relatives over for dinner next Thanksgiving. The U.S. Secret Service says a woman who tried to climb over the White House fence was found dangling from it by her shoelaces. Uniformed division officers saw the woman late Tuesday walking around the White House. Authorities say she tried to climb over the fence adjacent to E Street when her shoelaces got entangled at the top of the fence and she was suspended inside the fence. After helping her down, officers promptly arrested the woman, 38-year-old Marcy Wall of Everett, Washington, and charged her with unlawful entry. At a hearing in D.C. Superior Court on Wednesday, Wall pleaded not guilty. Seriously, how do you plead not guilty to this? Well, Your Honor, I was just walking by, stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk, and I went soaring over the fence where my shoelaces got tangled. Pope Francis is telling young people to resist the fake reality of social media. I'm not sure who to believe, though, because I also received an email from a Nigerian prince telling me to ignore the pope. Willie Nelson continues to insist that he's not dead. We're still waiting for him to show proof of that fact, though. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up and be sure to subscribe if you want to see more. And click that little bell next to the subscribe button to be notified when I post new videos. This episode is made possible in part by my Patreon supporters. For DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar. I'm Darren Marlar and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News. G-Mobile is introducing technology that would allow multiple phones to share the same phone number. Oh, yeah, that won't be awkward at all. Wait a minute here, did you mean to send this half-naked picture of yourself to me or my daughter? Some basketball viewers enjoying March Madness on Friday night saw TV commercials thanking Republicans for repealing Obamacare. However, as most of the world knew by then, Obamacare was not repealed. But since everything now is fake news, we can claim whatever we want, right? Men land on Jupiter. Tom Cruise appointed to Supreme Court. We can claim anything. In England, a mugger grabbed the night's receipts from a local bowling alley as the manager was heading to her car. She screamed for help, attracting the attention of co-workers who took off after the thief in the parking lot. The chase continued until he ran up to what he thought was his waiting getaway car. He opened the door and jumped in. He'd climbed in to an unmarked police car, which was patrolling the area. Officer Karma always on the job. The Final Four is all set. As congressmen from the school states have a little bet on who's going to win it all, the losers have to vote in favor of the next health care bill. A man armed with a hairbrush and wearing a leopard print robe attempted to rob a McDonald's in Groves, Texas last week. Cops spotted the suspect fleeing the scene, and after a brief foot chase, he was taken into custody in the parking lot of a cricket wireless store. Being leopard print, armed with nothing but a hairbrush, yes, that's going to be effective. Is this guy a robber or is he a VeggieTales character? Oregon police say an intoxicated man told police that he was showing off his new Subaru when he crashed it into a house. Fragurally, the car went through a yard and hit a power pole before crashing into the house. The driver was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence, which shouldn't be a surprise to anybody here. In fact, they should have known that this was dangerous when he started off by saying LOOK MY NO HANDS! Park in China is using facial recognition technology to roll out shorter than usual strips of toilet paper in an effort to make sure no one takes more than their share. That's right, a robot is controlling how much toilet paper you get to use. Ooh, the janitor at that park is not going to be happy with this situation. You probably haven't heard of Simone Gutsche, but she's an aspiring German actress and model and she was spending some vacation time at Cocoa Beach in Cape Canaveral. At one point, she decided to check out the ocean and waded out about waist-deep. She said there was nobody in the water, not many people were around. I found the emptiness beautiful. And the fact that other people started running onto the beach, that didn't seem to alarm her at all. Then, when people started waving frantically at her, she thought they were just being friendly, so she waved back because she did not see the 16-foot tiger shark with his large fin sticking out of the water swimming directly behind her. She did get out of the water safely and didn't really believe the story until someone showed her a picture with the large shark clearly in view behind her. Tiger sharks are a common occurrence in the waters at Cape Canaveral and they are considered highly dangerous to humans. Simone said after seeing the picture she became terrified and won't be going in the water again. Do people just not watch the movie Jaws anymore? There is no way you're getting me into that ocean. Heck, I don't even like the shallow end of the swimming pool. In fact, if you play the Jaws theme music, I won't even use a hot tub. There is a report that NASA has invented an age-reversing pill that they would give to astronauts traveling to Mars. Mars? How about taking care of Earth first? Seriously, who wouldn't immediately sign up for a prescription for age-reversing pills? Twitter is exploring a subscription-based option. So does that mean you'd have to pay to get Trump's tweets or do you have to pay to block them? Amy Schumer has backed out of the starring role in the live-action Barbie movie and parents around the world rejoice. The NFL's VP of Football Operations, Troy Vincent, says the NFL's competition committee is exploring ways to make dangerous hits result in immediate ejections and possible suspensions. While at the same time, victims of those dangerous hits will also be suspended from their brainstems. A UK reality TV show sent contestants into seclusion in the Scottish Highlands only to have them return to find the show had been cancelled. Oh, hey, can we get a Scottish Highlands show for the Kardashians? NFL owners Monday approved the Raiders to move to Las Vegas by a vote of 31-1, with only the Dolphins voting against the move. Apparently Miami doesn't want Vegas in the NFL. They would like to remain the most insane city in the league. The newly unveiled statue of Shaquille O'Neal outside the Staples Center is suspended 10 feet in the air. And from that height, though, Shaq still insists the world is flat. An Idaho motorist is blaming a car crash on Bigfoot. She claims to have hit a deer in an accident that was caused by a Bigfoot sighting. She says she saw a Sasquatch chasing a deer on a stretch of US 95. She adds that the creature was shaggy and between 7 and 8 feet tall. Bigfoot then went back for the roadkill deer and would also like to thank that lady for the help. Jeb Bush feels that President Trump has become a distraction. Whoa, somebody please check my pulse right now. I just agreed about something with Jeb Bush. During his White House briefing on Monday, Trump spokesperson Sean Spicer had something likely spinach stuck in his teeth. So now we're all going to call him Spinach Spice. Overvise President Joe Biden claims that he could have won the 2016 presidential election. Well, maybe so, but seeing as how you chickened out before the primaries, I guess we'll never really know now, will we Joe? And the final four is set. The games they've not even started and already there's controversy. Apparently somebody stole Tom Brady's bracket. An Alabama man drunkenly crashed his truck into a ditch on Tuesday, got detained at gunpoint by a civilian and then was busted with a stolen gun, which fell out of his butt at the jail. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is one of those Jeff Foxworthy's You Might Be a Redneck jokes. White House spokesman Sean Spicer is apparently fed up with questions about the Trump administration and Russia. Spicer commented at his daily press briefing the other day that why if the president starts Putin Russian salad dressing, he starts PUTTING Russian salad dressing. Never mind. Researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Germany say our ancestors had the same odds of dying at age 30 as men today face at age 72. The most advances in longevity have actually been made in the past 100 years, however living longer does have at least one downside. Money. Making our savings last through a 30-year retirement is difficult at best and impossible at worst. Governments worldwide are not prepared to make up the difference. The International Money Fund reported in 2012 that if the average lifespan increased just three years by 2050, the cost of aging would increase by 50%. Add to that the news that NASA has possibly created a reverse aging pill to give to Mars astronauts for the long trip, but what happens once that hits the consumer market? Retirement age is now 182. President Trump has turned down an invitation from the Washington Nationals to throw out the first pitch on opening day at Nationals Park in D.C. due to a scheduling conflict. What wasn't reported is that the so-called conflict is that he throws like a girl. Friday is National Crayon Day, and Crayola is going to use that day to announce that they are retiring a color from their 24-count box. It's the first time they've done that in 100 years, and they'll let us know which one it is on Friday. No doubt followed Saturday by somebody screaming racism because that color represents my cultural background. There was talk that Kanye West was in talks with NBC about a reboot of American Idol. Kanye says, not true. So we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief. Italy is looking at becoming the first country to offer paid menstrual leave. Not for the women, though, but for the men who have to be around them at work every month. As many millennials are struggling to figure out their career paths, Lorraine Maurer's story may serve as an inspiration. Maurer, a 94-year-old great-grandmother from Indiana, celebrated 44 years of service at McDonald's the other day, and she's not retiring. Maurer gets up at 3 a.m. for her 5 a.m. shifts on Friday and Saturdays. She has worked at several locations of the chain in Evansville, Indiana since 1973 when her husband retired due to a disability. Now I'm going to take a wild guess here and say she has not once picketed about not getting paid $15 per hour. In Egypt, a woman was stopped at a border crossing after guards noticed that she looked strangely fat. The woman's shape raised suspicions, and a body search by a female border guard turned up three crocodiles strapped to the woman's waist. The animals, each about 20 inches long, were concealed underneath her loose robe. Man, good thing they found the crocodiles, though. If not, that would mean they targeted a woman for being strangely fat simply because she was strangely fat. Not politically correct. Donald Trump's childhood home in Queens, New York has just sold for over $2 million. The buyer, a Mrs. H. Clinton, plans to bulldoze the place just to work out her frustrations. She considers it money well spent. The U.S. House of Representatives has voted to get rid of Internet privacy rules. So you might want to immediately clear your browser history, people. Former presidential candidate and ex-Florida Governor Jeb Bush would like to see President Trump stop saying things that aren't true. Yeah, and I'd like the actual Easter Bunny to come to our egg hunt in a couple weeks, but that's not going to happen either. Ivanka Trump has decided to officially become a government employee. Even though she won't be accepting a salary, the first daughter has accepted the job title of Special Assistant to the President. Ivanka, bring me my Twitter phone! Queen Elizabeth II is advertising for a Royal Pillow Fluffer. Okay, I think we can, without doubt, say the Queen is being paid waaay too much. The clothes designer in Colombia is making a line of bulletproof fashions for celebrities and politicians. I can hear it right now at the next Oscars. So who you wearing? I'm wearing Kevlar. Major League Baseball is teaming up with the honest company to offer diapers featuring MLB team logos. It's the only case where you would buy logo items for the team you hate, just so your baby can crap all over them. In Sebastian, Florida, Kristen Morrow, 37 years old and George Major Harris, 25, were detained after a neighbor complained the duo were doing something possibly indecent under a blanket nearby. When approached by an officer with the Indian River Sheriff's Office, Ms. Morrow simply said, I'm part of the Illuminati and Freemasons. You have no authority and I don't have to leave. She then continued her rant at the top of her lungs, claiming she was a famous music talent and had connections to judges that would cost the officer his job. Davis then joined in, seconding Morrow's threats and allegations. Well, it turned out to be a bad move for both of them as they were promptly arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. By the way, I'd like to add I am a Freemason and Ms. Morrow could not be with the Basins because Basins are only for guys. Also, she forgot the first rule of the Illuminati. She'd never admit that you're in the Illuminati, or that there is an Illuminati. A Kansas man has donated 32 gallons of blood over the past 64 years. Wow, I really hope it's his own, otherwise this could be a really creepy story. As far as Switzerland is concerned, the letter J is not a name. The Zurich administrative court said in a ruling released Tuesday it had upheld a local registry officer's decision to reject the single letter as a given name in the best interests of the child. The court rejected the parent's argument they wanted to honor their daughter's great-grandparents Joanna and Joseph with the initial as one of her middle names, saying they could have chosen the already accepted Joe instead, J.O. Though the parents wanted to pronounce the name J, just the single J letter as J, the court noted that the letter is pronounced yacht in Germany, creating confusion. So the court also said people would be inclined to put a period after the J, though it was not an abbreviation. I wonder what J.Lo, Jay-Z, and J.J. Abrams would have to say about this. The rumblings around the set of Good Morning America have to do with the other anchors feeling resentment towards the special treatment Michael Strahan seems to be getting. So in case you need that interpreted for you, high school never ends. If you're heading to Ireland this week, you might want to stick with Pepsi. Police are investigating after suspected human waste was found inside cans at an Irish Coca-Cola plant. Just so you'll know how it works, topless cans arrive at the factory to be filled with Coca-Cola products and then sealed before they're sold around Northern Ireland. The cans in question believed to have come from Germany jammed the plant's machines during the night shift. A parent human waste, number two in the cans, was determined to be the culprit. An unnamed source describes an absolutely horrible scene that resulted in the machines being turned off for 15 hours for cleaning. The drink giant says all the tainted cans were caught and no products available to the public were affected. Or you can just stick with Pepsi to be safe. A Tennessee couple has been arrested for allegedly trying to sell their five-month-old son on Craigslist for $3,000. Wow! Man, that's wrong! I mean, they could get a lot more than that on eBay. A special campaign is underway where teams of climbers are collecting the trash left on Mount Everest by previous expeditions. Hey, here's an idea, why don't you just wrap it in a snowball and roll it down the mountain? In Australia, burglars broke into a house, but before taking off with the loot, they paused to get frisky in the victim's bed. Even worse, a house-sitter who had been hired to keep an eye on the home while the owner was away slept through the entire thing. Worst house-sitter ever! For DailyDose of WeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar.