 And my life has been, I've had a lot of different jobs since I was in college for 10 years, just searching and searching and questioning and going from discipline over here to discipline. This isn't it. This isn't it. This isn't it. This isn't it. And ultimately, the good news of the course is that this world isn't it. I mean, that we do have a higher calling inside. It is calling us upward and onward to a very bossy function. Healing, or as the way I talked about earlier in the text, healing is the vocation of the mind. So we, it's like when we kind of get caught in these self concepts, when we kind of get caught in, well, I have to do this and this and this. Beneath it is there, that we are to be healing. Whether you think of it as being a healer, or what you bring it back to the course is the way of looking at things. That really, you're just healing your own mind. Sometimes it's a little uncomfortable to think of some of those old images as going out and laying hands on people or whatever. And that feels like a pretty wild idea too that's not very acceptable sometimes to some of us. And ultimately, we were talking about these thoughts that keep coming back and it seems like they keep coming and coming and coming. One way we can come at it is, I call it backward thinking and forward thinking. And we discussed this around the top the other day that the court keeps teaching us, like a lot of spiritual paths, that we need to take self-responsibility for our state of mind, complete self-responsibility. That there is nothing outside of us in the world, including conditions of our body or conditions in the world in an innumerable way that has the power to take away our peace of mind. But the ego-belief system is no, you are small, you are mean, you are a crime, you are a victim of the circumstances in the world. It could be God's situation, it could be, you could feel like it in a relationship in a sense where it is like a co-dependency, you feel like you're spunk in. It could be with friendships where you feel like your friends are very important to you and maybe be the center of your life. And therefore, their opinions seem to dominate your state of mind, you know, what they think and everything. Some people call people pleasing, you know, it's like you take your state of mind and say, here it is on a silver platter, be careful with it now, you know. And in the ultimate sense, that's a big setup for being a victim as well because the court teaches us we're completely responsible for our state of mind. And we might think of the mind when it's in a deceived state, it's just filled with these backwards thoughts, these thoughts of certain things that can happen to us and can hurt us on the outside. A lot of times in jobs, you know, there's a fear of being fired and, you know, sometimes you'll be in a job and issues will come up where you don't feel, it just doesn't feel right, you have to clean your morality and yet it comes down to, well, you know, you do it because your boss says to do it. Or you do it because the government says to do it or something. There's some kind of an outside authority. And the court is bringing a full circle to say that when we line our minds up with the will of God, then we'll be perfectly happy and perfectly joyful. And we are sustained literally by the love of our Father, that there is no external authority then that we bow down to. It's kind of tough to put some of these ideas together when you keep being told that you're the Holy Son of God and magnificent and everything. You feel like you're this person that's got to, you know, bow down here and there and conform to the ways of the world, to the way it works, to the relationship situations. It's kind of like how can I be both? How can I be this kind of magnitude and then turn right around and feel sub-tiny, feel like I'm the man of everything else? And what the court is saying is that the world that we perceive, that the seed money we perceive, is a projection and is a construction that was made to hide from that true identity, from the love of God. It's kind of like I used the old story about, I think it's around the 500s where there's a phrase in the court into eternity where all is one. There's crept a tiny man idea and the Son of God remembers not to let. And kind of, as you can imagine, there's this mighty, powerful, powerful mind with the Son of God and this tiny little tough, like one of those little seeds that we saw blowing on the way over, there's a little white top that blow across the road or something like a piece of pollen or something, blowing along in this magnificent, powerful mind that is everything and that has everything. It's the perfect love and harmony with the Father. And kind of taking this powerful mind and focusing it on this tiny little tough, kind of turning it towards this tough and annoying kind of, I wonder if there could be more than all of this. Or kind of another way to look at it is the Father and Son are one and there is eternal dance and they're like each other in every way. There's fear of eternal light and extract and there's only one difference in this one. There's only one thing that even, you can't even tell the difference in heaven between the Father and Son because it's like this ongoing song and there's no interruption and there's no way to see where one ends and one begins. But there is one difference in a functional sense in that the Father created the Son. The Son of God did not create the Father. Well, it's almost like this little tough set. Are you going to settle for that? Are you going to settle for being created? You know, what if you could be number one? Kingpin makes up a world kind of on your own and not, you know, even though the eternal list is kind of like what you could be the creator but you could have things your own way and really want to do it. And a lot of us are familiar with that voice inside our mind. You know, I want to do it my way and I want to have it just the way I want. So metaphorically, in our little story here, when the Son of God seemed to give his mind to this tough, it was a very horrifying kind of experience. And that's when projection was made. The Big Bang, I call it the Big Bang in the Mind. The Big Bang where the stars were scattered, it's like literally the Big Bang in the Mind. And the projection of the world was like a giant screen in which the ego said, Quick, make up a world of form because, you know, God that's attractive. He won't come into form and get you. So basically what we see is that the split in the mind then gets projected out into a split world. And now a world of duality of male, female, hot, cold, fan flow, you know, I love all these. A world of duality is held out there in place. And the mind, we all should just say victim to victimizer when it's pretty good if you're working on not judging someone. I mean, the key to not judging is to not see anybody as one or the other of those things. To just not reinforce that split of being outside. So if we bring it back to a job situation, basically now in the dream world, the ego teaches that, you know, you're a body, you're tiny. Anybody heard of Mesla's hierarchy of needs? You got needs here. You've got lower order needs. You've got to keep your body warm. You've got to keep, you know, you're not spooked in it. You've got to drink, you know, the lower order needs and that, so on and so forth. But these are established as the way it is. That's just the way it is. Now everybody, the law is survival, you know. And that's the basis of the laws of survival, of course, is the belief in scarcity. The belief in the mind that I'm lacking. Because not enough food, not enough clothes, not enough shelter. Basically, all have their underpinning due to the belief in scarcity or lack, which still is the ego. So, you know, over the millennium, people have done different ways of deceiving, of surviving and so on and so forth and stopped to do one of them. And here comes, of course, the miracles in this thing. Now, we want to turn around the thought from you being at the victim of outside forces. And it's going to take faith and trust. Because obviously, if you start laying inside the ways of the world, the things that you think you have to do, you know, to make it, you've got to have something to take the place with that. You know, like the lilies that feel, you know, as it is in the Bible, for the apostles back then, you've got to have something that's going to kick in, that's going to carry you through and carry you home, so to speak. And this something, of course, completely is the opposite, or it's completely the opposite of the ways of the world, which rely on external circumstances. You know, huge, not only food, clothing, shelter, but then you get into insurance. You've got to have enough insurance, you know, and that whole thing about protecting the things that you own is kind of like a tightly wound ring with all these defenses, you know, that are in there. And to start laying aside defenses, you have to have something, a rock that you can put your face in. What would it make any sense to start to give up some of this stuff and move in the other direction, you know, unless you have something there? So, you know, for me, my life has been a series of questioning the nature of reality, questioning everything, even when I was in college and I was in, you know, different degree programs. Instead of just being a good student and taking all the forces, both to pay and trying to be polished off to be whatever, an urban planner was one degree, I was an engineering for a while, and psychology for a while, to be a good school psychologist or whatever. I'm going in there and I'm questioning the underpinnings, or questioning the bases in which the things I'm in are about. In other words, a lot of times you do that when you look for a job. You know, maybe you don't want a job in the defense industry. If making bombs or something is something that you don't feel real congruent with, I was doing the same thing with all of my studies, you know, like school psychology, for instance, has high-Q testing and tracking and there's lots of things that just did not resonate, you know, with pit and holding people according to certain tests. And the more I gave the test, the more I looked at the questions of the test and I was like, well, you know, this is all judgment, it's all evaluation, you know, it was all net. It just didn't feel congruent with the core of my being. And so just like, you know, urban planning was a very future-oriented program and I could just analyze all these factors and project the heads for planning or tracking control and all these things. But once again, it was that same thing that just didn't resonate. You know, it was so off in the future and I was more and more moving in the direction of spontaneity, of trying to listen to my intuition and trust and make decisions that way. So, you know, a lot of times, job experiences, it's the same thing in the sense that it's just a construct and it's basically what we believe is out-pictures there. And so as I started to shift my mind about my concepts about myself, then I started to seem to get jobs that were a little more loose and I seemed to have a little more freedom and I seemed to be able to take a little more responsibility in each job and this kind of continued on and on and on until the last formal job that I had. I was mentioning the other day at Rhonda's was teaching a four-hour psychology class where I had free reign basically to do whatever I wanted to do. I didn't have any kind of curriculum constraints. I was able to pick, you know, the text I wanted, the materials I wanted to show movies in class. You know, we used to do experiential exercises and it was in an art institute and the director basically just gave me free reign and didn't even hop in and sit in our class to see what I was doing and so I thought, okay, spirit, let's go here. It wasn't like any job that I'd ever had in four. A long sequence of jobs but each one seemed to be a little more, I was able to do a little more and it was like what the course teaches is that as we change our mind automatically the situation will seem to out-picture more of this fluidity and more less rigidity and structure and so on and so forth and that's good news for us because once again, you know, as you're working with the course and everything sometimes it can be like, how is this ever going to relate to my job? You know, it's like the mind tries to say course and miracle, job, oh boy. Kind of like these two are not ever going to come together or one time they asked somebody who's channeling one of the people that they channel, you know, how am I going to become enlightened and still stay at the corporation and the being says you won't be at the corporation when you're enlightened, kind of, you know, one of these things that don't try to project ahead and project what it looks like now and fit it in with enlightenment. I think another great example of that was for me, Krishna Murthy was a spiritual man who taught selection for 70 years all over on different continents in the globe and it was kind of like he didn't belong to anything. I mean, he'd say, well, what about a group of friends? Well, you know, he seemed to be, there were people that were channeling.