 How to become an extrovert in four simple steps. Does this sound like you? I mean, talking to other people can be agonizing. Being in groups can be so fearful. It causes so much anxiety. It's just so much better to retreat and not go around anybody. Well, if this sounds like you, you're gonna wanna listen to this video to the end because I'm gonna give you four simple steps to identify your shyness or social anxiety and how to stop it immediately. Now, I used to be shy. I was a really shy kid. I was shy in school. I was so shy in school that I wouldn't stand up and read from a book. I would rather get a bad grade than do it. And that stuck with me for a long time until I figured a few things out. And I wanna share those things with you and maybe you can apply these things in your life so that you could overcome that shyness and the world kinda opens up to you once you do. Now, shyness can get pretty extreme, actually. Shyness can grow into agoraphobia where you can't even leave your home or even your bedroom. So it's really important that you get a handle on it. It doesn't matter what age you are. This can be altered and it is something you can work on. And it is something you can do no matter what anybody's told you. This is not ingrained in your personality. Now, recent studies have shown that shyness can cause all kinds of things from depression to alcoholism to drug use just so that you feel calm inside. Now, the truth is introverts tend to focus on what they feel inside as opposed to the exterior stimuli. Now, sure, all kids go through little phases as their kids and they're shy at certain times. You know, they're hiding behind their mom or dad. However, adult shyness is a whole different thing. Now, the cool thing is once you overcome this shyness, this introvert feeling you have, you can accomplish all kinds of things. It opens up a whole new world for you. It can help you in business. It can help you in romance. It can help you in friendships if you just overcome it. So let's go ahead and go through my four simple steps so you can apply them in your life and get quick results. Now, if you haven't done so already, make sure you subscribe. Hit that subscribe button down there and don't forget to turn on notifications, all bell notifications so that you're notified every single time I do a new video. I also put a link down there and it's a $97 course, how to make money online, right? And all you've gotta do is click down there in that link and you can get my free course, no credit card required. All right, let's look at the first thing. The first thing is I want you to explore why you're shy. Now, some people have like a blanket shyness. They're just scared of everything, but some people will actually have a traumatic situation that triggered shyness. Maybe something happened in a big auditorium full of kids and it made you really feel uncomfortable and you became shy from that point forward or maybe there was some tragic incident in your life that caused it. Possibly it's your upbringing. It's how your parents brought you up. It was what was said to you. It was what was told to you. Oftentimes parents can mess up their kids by saying, gosh, you're such a shy kid. Why don't you just come out of your shell? You need to come out of your shell. Why do you act like that? And it makes it actually worse. Now, the problem is some kids kind of latch onto that and it stays with them throughout life. I know as a kid I was very, very shy and that stuck with me into adulthood until I got into sales and I was fairly good at sales but I remember one time in particular and I was talking to my boss and I had to go talk to a customer in the showroom and my boss told me to say certain things to this customer and at the time I thought to myself, my God, I can't do that. That's not me. That's not my personality. And at that one moment I actually exposed myself and I said, you know what? I can't do that. And he looked at me and he says, why? I said, that's not me. That's not my personality. I would feel super uncomfortable saying that. I would feel super uncomfortable doing that and I'm sure it would work and I'm sure I could sell this product to the customer but that's just not me. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt like I can't do certain things because it's just not my personality? He actually gave me some really good words and he gave me a good talking to and it actually fixed the problem in that moment and here's what he said. He said, those people down there don't know who you are. They don't know what you act like. They don't know what your personality is. You could go down there and act like anything you want and they wouldn't think it was unusual. Only you would feel it was unusual. You see, I was focusing on my interior, my inner thoughts and those triggers instead of looking at the exterior stimuli which was they didn't know who I was. So I went down there and I said what he told me to say and I said it in the way he did and I pretended to be somebody else other than who I was and that was an extroverted person who would have said these things. And guess what? It actually worked. Number two is you need to identify the triggers. What are the things that make you feel uncomfortable? What are the things that make you shy? Now, if you think about it, just sitting in front of a TV, watching a TV all alone, you're not shy. So how does that differ from when you're out in the middle of a mall and you're having to walk through a whole lot of people or in a movie theater or in a crowded restaurant? What is the difference? You know, one of the biggest triggers for almost everybody is public speaking like I told you a couple of minutes ago, I wouldn't even stand up in class and read from a book and I ended up becoming a public speaker later on in life and spending I think eight or nine years on the road actually doing seminars in front of hundreds of people. So that's a pretty big shift from who I was before. Now, I was kind of forced in this situation because I worked at a business and the general manager was leaving and the general manager did the sales meeting every single morning for the entire sales force and I never did it because I was very shy. I mean, I could deal with the sales people one-on-one but I could never stand up and just do a sales meeting for an hour, hour and a half and get everybody all excited and pumped up. That just wasn't me or so I kept telling myself. So I was in a position where I could actually get his job when he left and retired or I could stay in my job and let them hire somebody else for that job. I really wanted that job, wanted that job really bad. And I thought to myself, well, I need to conquer being able to talk in front of groups of people. So what I did is I joined Toastmasters and every day prior to going to work, I would attend a Toastmasters meeting and they taught you to stand up and speak extemporaneously, okay? And we would actually have to speak on a subject we didn't know anything about in front of people. And every time you made a mistake, you said um or ah or something like that, everybody in the room had these clickers and they would all click it and it would just grade on my nerves because I would make these mistakes and I'd hear everybody click, click, click every time I made a mistake and after a while I learned to not do those things. That was like a negative reinforcement. I didn't wanna hear those clickers and I got better and better at it to the point where I started winning speaking contest and I started winning awards and I was like, wow, I can actually do this. So when it came time for that general manager to actually retire, I did get his job. I did start doing sales meetings. They got better and better and better. I started teaching people how to do sales and I ended up starting my own company and traveling around the country doing sales meetings and charging people for one day of training. Now, that's a far cry from not standing up in front of the class to read from a book. Now I'll tell you, the reason I share with you that story is because no matter what position you're in now, no matter where you're at now and no matter what you think of yourself now, if you think you're shy, you're wrong. It has nothing to do with you itself. It has to do with your inner thoughts. So the next thing you need to do is you need to actually list all of the social interactions that make you shy or socially anxious, okay? You need to list those things and then here's what you need to do. You need to go do those things, okay? So if it's speaking to a stranger in a store, you need to say hello to somebody. You just need to say hello. Hey, how are you doing today? And most people actually are pretty shy and they're gonna answer you but they may even seem a little bit nervous. But you need to tell yourself, well, I'm gonna go out today and I'm gonna say hello to three strangers. I'm gonna say hello to four strangers. And the more you do that, the more you do that, the more you'll realize that there's nothing to fear from it because what happens when you're shy is you think if you enter into certain situations, it's gonna cause an uncomfortable feeling and initially it will, initially it will. But the more you do it, the more you're gonna not have that uncomfortable feeling, the more you're gonna feel comfortable doing it to the point where you may even enjoy it. Now, somebody would have told me that years ago when I was shy that you're gonna enjoy speaking in front of a group of people and you're gonna think it's fun, I would have said they were crazy. I was recently in Florida and I spoke in front of the Gorilla Marketing Group and I loved it. I had a great time and they were interacting and it was just a good time for me and I really, really enjoyed it. I learned to love it but I had to get through that hump first. So whatever your situations are that make you anxious, maybe it's a family setting, maybe it's a group setting with friends, you need to force yourself to do it. There's no other way. There's no other way but to force yourself to do it. Don't use alcohol or drugs or any of those things to feel more comfortable. I see a lot of people in party settings and they'll go to parties and they'll have a good time but they can't be at that party. They can't be around people unless they're drinking. That's not gonna be your personality, okay? You have to refrain from all that. You gotta be totally straight. You gotta totally know where your head is in these situations for you to get better at it. Number four, arm yourself with information which is what you're doing right now and make eye contact. That's one of the toughest things for people to do actually make eye contact with another person but you gotta do it. You gotta actually look them in the eyes and talk to them, okay? Now that doesn't mean you have to stare constantly like this. You know, you could look away some but you gotta make that eye contact. Now, when I say do research, what I mean by that is when you know you're gonna be in a situation where you're gonna have to talk to strangers or friends or whatever and you feel uncomfortable and you gotta make small talk and you say, well, I can never think of anything to say. Prepare, look at the news that day. See what's going on in the world. You know, think about, you know, what you're doing for your hobbies or do some research on them and find out what they wanna do. Nowadays, you can go on Facebook and you can find out a lot of information about people. If you know those people are gonna be at the party or the setting that you're going into, go in there and look at their Facebook page. Find out what they've been doing and when you get there, ask them about that. The best way to get somebody to like you is actually ask them about their lives and what's going on and then act interested. If you do that, people will instantly warm up to you because it makes them feel comfortable and it makes them feel recognized, okay? And if you do that as a person, they're gonna love you. A few bonus things, I'm gonna tell you and these things can be really uncomfortable and I had to force myself to do it because I never did this when I was a kid. I never did, I was the tough kid. I was the kid that got in fights and all that because I was really shy but I acted tough all the time, okay? Here's something you need to do, smile. Smile, just smile at people, okay? Now, some of you out there who are really shy are gonna say, oh my God, I can't smile, I can't smile. Force yourself to smile. You will get a warm reception if you just smile at people. They will feel more comfortable around you and want to be around you and want to talk to you. Now, as you go through these exercises, you should keep a record of your successes, okay? So maybe you were afraid to go to a movie theater or maybe you were afraid to go to the grocery store because you were gonna be around people. Force yourself to do it and then give yourself credit for it and record your successes, okay? So if you're anxious about going to the grocery store but you forced yourself to last week, you can say, well, you know, I went last week, I was in there for 30 minutes and nothing happened, okay? Nothing bad happened. I just went in there and shopped. I went to the movie theater, I sat down, I watched a movie. There were other people in there, but it was okay. Nothing happened, okay? And you start making successes part of your life and if you start seeing these successes, you're gonna wanna branch out and do more. It's not gonna be comfortable for you to do this, okay? It's just not because you've already ingrained in your mind that you're the shy person who can't be around people. But if you force yourself to do this, you will get better at it. It's kinda like exercising. You know, if you exercise and you gotta do setups or push-ups or whatever you're doing, initially, it's gonna be really hard and it's gonna be difficult and you're not gonna wanna do it because you know it's gonna be hard. But if you get up every single day and force yourself to do that, after a while, you get good at it. You get better at it, okay? And it's the same thing with shyness. It's just a muscle you have to exercise. Give yourself a little reward when you conquer these things. So, you know, say, hey, if I go out to a movie theater five times this month and I sit through a movie and I don't go running out of the theater, I can buy myself a new shirt. I can go get a dessert somewhere. I can do whatever I want. Find some reward that you want and give it to yourself. And then what happens is you'll start associating doing those things with a positive outcome instead of a negative one. And the last thing I'm gonna tell you is be kind to yourself, okay? It's not easy to do these things, we know that. But if you're watching this video right now and you've gotten this far, you know it's the thing you should do. You know it's the thing that's holding you back, maybe in business and friendships and romance that being shy has held you back and you don't have to let this happen anymore. You just don't. You can change who you are. Who you are is just what you're thinking in your head right now. That's it. It's not necessarily who you are. You can change who you are tomorrow if you choose to do so. It's just making that decision that really matters. Now, I hope you appreciate this video. I hope you liked it. If you did, give me a thumbs up. That thumbs up means so much to me. 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