 Note to all researchers, please include your name and all records, along with date and total number of items refined. Researchers are responsible for all output. Should damage or loss of life occur, the researcher will be subject to administrative review and possible disciplinary action. Biological testing has been suspended. Any biological testing must be cleared by O5 command. Test log format. All test logs should be written in this form. Name, date, day, month, year, total items, input, setting, output. Test 11828-U5. Test on the nature and construction of SCP-914. With approval from O5 command, a single gear was removed from one of the outer sections of SCP-914. Placement was carefully documented and was in a location that would not release tension on any belts or damage any documented sections. Testing area was cleared and sealed after placing a steel block in the intake booth. D-00104 was dispatched to SCP-914 and instructed to turn the key and activate SCP-914. D-00104 reported that the key won't catch and the key was observed to turn several times without tightening the mainspring. No activity of any kind was observed from SCP-914 during this time. Missing gear was replaced with an identical copy, comprised of the same metal, brass, as the original. Steel block reinserted into the intake booth and SCP-914 was activated on the 11 setting. SCP-914 is observed to operate normally, with a slight pause of 3.5 seconds after winding the key. After refining, output observed to be a solid steel sphere with the same volume as the original steel block. Original gear returned to SCP-914. Note, well, thank god if we can at least repair the damn thing if we damage it, assuming we can find what's broken in it. Hell, maybe it's already broken. I don't know. First damn thing hurts my head. Dr. ██████ Test 914-0101. Name? Dr. Gears? Date? Dr. Gears ██████, 2000 and ██████. Total items? Or clockwork pocket watch? Belonging to Dr. Gears. Input? One gold-plated pocket watch. Setting? Fine. Output? Small clockwork bird? When the tail is pressed, it produces a robin's call. Input. One gold-plated pocket watch. Setting. Bind. Output. Toy clockwork train engine. Input. One gold-plated pocket watch. Setting. Bind. Output. Miniature grandfather clock. Bully functional. Input. One gold-plated pocket watch. Setting. Bind. Output. A metal sculpture of a piano. Note. It appears there is a high level of randomness when SCP-914 refines an item. However, it seems to preserve some element of its original composition. In this example, clockworks. This is not a law, but a high probability. Refine a metal bar, and you're more likely to get a simple metal object than an internal combustion engine. Both, however, are possible, Dr. Gears. Test-914-0102 Name, Dr. Gears, Date Total items. Three copies of all documentation, photographs, and test logs accumulated in relation to SCP-914. Input. One copy of SCP-914 documentation. Setting. 1-1. Output. Folder containing all previously entered documents, arranged in chronological order. Input. One copy of SCP-914 documentation. Setting. Bind. Output. Hardbound book containing 400 pages. No diagrams, photos, or other visual aids of any kind are included. The pages appear to be solid black, but microscopic examination shows each page to be covered in approximately 20,000 characters. The text has no correlation with any known writing style, and is not in a linear format, with sentences constructed from individual characters spread out between many pages. Each sentence requires an exceedingly complex formula to decode, which each formula unites each sentence. Note. Current decoding work has resulted in two partially translated sentences after 225 work hours. Some appears to be a record of the internal structure of SCP-914. Input. One copy of SCP-914 documentation. Setting. Very fine. Output. Single sheet of paper. Weight is exactly the same as the entered documentation. The sheet appears to be a single page from the entered SCP-914 documentation. However, when flipped over to the right, the reverse side is the following page in sequence. When flipped over to the left, the opposite side is the preceding page in sequence. No new documentation is included, but this item is significantly easier to store, if more time consuming to browse. Note. It's screwing with us. You know that, right? I don't care if it's been proven that it has no self-awareness. This thing is laughing at us. General ██████ note. There seems to be some difficulty as to the meaning of find and cause on the settings. The machine appears to be capable of refining input based either on a scale of complexity, loss of entropy accompanied to increase in connectivity between components and or acquisition of subjective meaning, or of simplification, separation of composite materials and loss of meaning. Dr. Gears. It's 914-0103 Name Dr. Grangan Date ██████ Total items 5 adult male cadavers Input 1 cadaver Setting Rough Output A pile of human remains, limbs, organs, and bones all appear to have been roughly separated via tearing action in high heat. Output described as unsettling Input Output 1 cadaver Setting Course Output Pile of human remains All organs and bones have been removed by some form of cutting tool. The skin, nervous system, digestive system, and circulatory system all appear to have been removed without severing or damaging any of tissues involved. Results frozen for study Input 1 cadaver Setting Output 1 Asian male cadaver Original cadaver will identify as Caucasian Input 1 cadaver Setting Fine Output 1 cadaver containing SCP-008 Subject immediately incinerated Input 1 cadaver Setting Very fine Output Green slime Properties and chemical structure determined to be identical to SCP-447-2 Note, by order of O5 ██████ cadavers may no longer be tested in SCP-914 in order to minimize the possibility of SCP-447-2 coming in contact with dead bodies. Test 914-0104 Name Dr. Uros Date ██████ Total items One pill of SCP-500 Input 1 pill Setting Fine Output 1 ornate metal locket Now classified as SCP-427 Test 914-0105 Name Dr. Zimla Sim Date ██████ Total items Two identical wooden cross pendants 7.6 cm, 3 inches long Input 1 cross Setting Rough Output One fragment of wood of the same mass cut flat on three sides. This may be a fragment of a larger cross. Input 1 cross Setting Fine Output 1 wooden crucifix with intricately detailed carving of Jesus Christ Note, this may imply that SCP-914 has an understanding of religion. More experiments with religious items are indicated. Dr. Sim Note, this test may indicate that SCP-914 understands the use of input objects and not simply their function. Recommend testing with medicines reliant on the placebo effect to ascertain if outputs provide actual medicinal solutions to problems. Dr. Perus Test 914-0106 Name Dr. Gibbons Date ██████ Total items 300 US dollars, 100 US dollars will be used for each testing. Input 100 US dollars, setting, course, output, a puddle of ink and a small pile of cotton and plastic weighing roughly as much as the original currency. Input 100 US dollars, setting, 1-1, output, 75 euros. Input 100 US dollars, setting, fine, output, a shareholder's note for soap from corpses products worth 100 US dollars. It is unknown whether SCP-914 is selected at the Foundation's front out of Pure Wimsey or because of some other criteria. Update As in ████ Soap from corpses product shares skyrocketed and the aforementioned fine output is now worth US dollars. It is under investigation if 914 is selected soap from corpses products because it knew it was going to rally or if it was a matter of pure luck. Test 914-0107 Name Dr. ██████ Date ██████ Total items 5 bronze replicas of the Pioneer 10 and 11 plaques Input 1 plaque in each setting. Setting, rough, output, multiple bronze cubes and two bronze spears. Setting, coarse, output, 105 grams of copper ore and 15 grams of tin ore. Setting, 1-1, output, several CDs. Test revealed them to contain the same data as the Voyager golden record. Setting, fine, output, a record-sized bronze disc. Setting shows that using the object with a record player will play a recording of a currently unidentified voice describing the content and meanings of the Pioneer plaque. Setting, very fine, output, a bronze gyroscope, 15 cm tall. A needle in the center continuously points in one direction. Testing has confirmed that no matter the position of the gyroscope, this needle points towards our son. Test 914-0108 Name Dr. ██████ Date ██████ Total items, 5 pounds of raw ground beef. Input 1 pound raw ground beef. Setting, rough, output, 1 pound beef slurry. Input 1 pound raw ground beef. Setting, fine, input, 1 pound medium cooked round steak. Input 1 pound raw ground beef. Setting, fine, output, 1 pound pile of beef jerky. Input 1 pound raw ground beef. Setting, very fine, output, 2 half pound blank steaks, well done and lightly drizzled in gravy. Input 1 pound raw ground beef. Setting, very fine, output. Check terminated with no casualties. Test 914-0109 Name Dr. ██████ Date ██████ Total items, 5 IRS Form 1040, blank. Input 1 IRS Form 1040, blank. Setting, rough, output, several hundred thin paper strips. Input 1 IRS Form 1040, blank. Setting, coarse, output. One block of wood, wet with strong smelling liquid. Test indicated the liquid to be composed of a variety of chemicals used in the papermaking process. Input 1 IRS Form 1040, blank. Setting, 1-1. Output 1 IRS Form 4868, blank. Input 1 IRS Form 1040, blank. Setting, fine. Output 1 IRS Form 1040, blank. With all blank space including margins and backs of pages filled with implications against the IRS and taxation in general in the following languages. Bask, Quinnia, Ceebelow, Sumerian, Cherokee, an unidentifiable language with a writing system composed of curved symbols, classical Chinese, English from the curses used apparently circa 1650-1750. After long study of the unidentifiable symbols, Dr. ██████ could identify no commonality with any of the other languages present on the form. The Sumerian contained three words unattested from any known text. The Quinnia had its cursing of the IRS interspersed with retube relation of someone or something called Morgoth. Input 1 IRS Form 1040, blank. Setting, very fine. Output 1 IRS Form MXL, billed out for the year 35 and with the name given as Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Dramaticus, and all monetary amounts given in Roman numerals with the words the Nare entered afterwards. Test 914-0110, name Dr. Klopine. Date, August 15, 2009. 5 8.5 x 11 copies of the Mona Lisa, printed from HP's Photosmart 3310 all-in-one onto photopaper. Input 1 copy of Mona Lisa. Setting, rough. Output 1 pile of shredded photopaper, several pools of ink. Input 1 copy of Mona Lisa. Setting, coarse. Output 1 8.5 inch x 11 inch sheet of plastic. Input 1 8.5 inch x 11 inch sheet of paper, several pools of ink. Input 1 copy of Mona Lisa. Setting, 1-1. Output 1 8.5 inch x 11 inch copy of the Vitruvian man. Input 1 copy of Mona Lisa. Setting, fine. Output 1 8.5 inch x 11 inch copy of Mona Lisa, painted on the canvas. Setting revealed paint to be oil paint of modern origins. Input 1 copy of Mona Lisa. Setting, very fine. Output 1 7 inch x 10 inch copy of the Mona Lisa, painted on the wood panel. Identified to be popular. Paint samples tested to be oil paints made from beeswax, calcined bones, piled glass, and mineral pigments, with indications that pigments were hand-ground. Other testing suggests painting dates to the early 16th century. Output now resides on a wall in Dr. Klopine's office. Test 914-0111. Name, Professor Q. Date, February 13, 2010. Total items, 1 chessboard, initial setup. Input, 1 chessboard. Setting, 1-1. Output, 1 chessboard. White King's pawn moved up two spaces. Input, board is above, with black pawn moved to a legal position. Setting, 1-1. Output, 1 chessboard as above, with white queen moved diagonally to a legal position. Note, yes, I've been playing chess with 914. Yes, I'm aware it's probably non-sentient, but that hardly explains why it's winning. Professor Q. Test 914-0112. Name, Dr. Date, April 10, 2010. Total items, 5 prints of Le Très-en-Démage by Rene Marguerite. Input, 1 print of above-mentioned painting. Setting, 1-1. Output, 1 miniature pipe identical to that in the print, with Salem Peep engraved on it. Input, 1 print of above-mentioned painting. Setting, 1-1. Output, a near-identical print, with This Is Not A Pipe written in English in the same hand as in the original. Input, 1 print of above-mentioned painting. Setting, fine. Output, a print of Les Deux Mystères by Rene Marguerite. Input, 1 print of above-mentioned painting. Setting, very fine. Output, a print of an untitled painting, later definitively confirmed by Art Experts to have been produced by Rene Marguerite, despite there being no record of its existence. The painting depicts ██████, in addition to Le Très-en-Démage. Input, 1 print of above-mentioned painting. Setting, very fine. Output, a blank piece of paper with the memetic property of inducing observers to believe that it is on a pipe. The paper was accidentally destroyed by Dr. ██████, who placed it in his mouth and set it on fire. Dr. ██████ was treated from minor burns to his face, but was otherwise not injured. Test, 914-0113, Name, Dr. ██████, Date, May 30, 2010. Total items, 5 tuna sandwiches on white bread. Input, 1 tuna sandwich, setting, rough. Output, a pile of wheat, a small pile of yeast, a puddle of water, and one segment of twitching bloody flesh. Later identified as tuna musculature. Input, 1 tuna sandwich, setting, coarse. Output, a small loaf of bread and chunks of cooked tuna. Input, 1 tuna sandwich, setting, 1-1. Output, 1 salmon sandwich, on rye bread. Input, 1 tuna sandwich, setting, fine. Output, 1 tuna sandwich. Tuna was later revealed to be of the highest quality, with light, soft bread. Testing of D-class personnel resulted in dramatically increased cognitive capacity. Further chemical analysis revealed it to contain unusually high levels of omega-3 and omega-7 fatty acids. Input, 1 tuna sandwich, setting, very fine. Output, 1 small loaf of bread baked into a very realistic shape of a tuna. When the door was opened, it immediately began swimming around the room and out the door. Subject presumed missing. Test 914-0114. Name, Dr. ██████, Date, January 7, 2011. No items, 5 Adult SCP-939 specimens. Test cleared by O5 command. Input, 1 Adult SCP-939 specimen was placed within SCP-914 in each setting. Setting, Rough, Output, a mass of bone splinters, broken teeth, and scraps of translucent red tissue of various sizes. Tissues would observe the twitch spasmotically for several hours before activity ceased. No preserved for further study. Setting, Course, Output. Subject was divided up into organized piles of tissue, including, but not limited to, presumably, muscle tissue, two piles of ground bone tissue, the significance of this division if any is unknown, teeth, skin, a total of approximately 17 meters of esophageal tissue divided into numerous coils, and approximately 15 kilograms of rotting human flesh littered with splinters of bone, shreds of fabric, and a tattered laminated ID tag identifying its owner as D-09355. As with the first test, SCP-939 tissue was observed to convulse for several hours before ceasing activity. SCP-939 remains preserved for further study. Human remains incinerated. Setting, 1-1, Output, Setting, Bind, Output, the same SCP-939 specimen. Respirations were noted to have halted. Test subjects were immediately relocated to a reinforced concrete containment chamber and observed remotely via CCTV. Installation security forces were ordered to high alert. Twenty-four hours passed with no signs of activity from the subject. Detect proved unresponsive to all stimuli and was pronounced dead thirty-six hours later. The Crop-C was unable to identify a cause of death nor any anatomical revisions attributable to SCP-914. Remains preserved for further study. Setting, Very Fine, Output, a heap of smoldering white ash. Test-914-0-1-1-5, Name, Doctor ██████ Date, May 9th, 2011 Total Items, Eight Identical Copies of the King James Bible Input, One King James Bible, Setting, Course, Output, One Sheet of Weather, One Block of Wood of Approximate Dimensions Three-Fourth Dat of the Bible, One Stack of Ink Stained Rags, One Reel of Thread Input, One King James Bible, Setting, 1-1, Output, One Copy of the Koran Input, One King James Bible, Setting, 1-1, Output, Hand Illustrated Copy of the Dead Sea Scrolls of Nupa Pyrite Input, One King James Bible, Setting, Fine, Output, One Book with Leading Pages and a Golden Cover, Language Unknown Input, One King James Bible, Setting, 1-1, Output, One Book Titled The Satanic Bible Input, One King James Bible, Setting, Fine, Output, One DVD containing Animated Accounts of All the Bible Stories Input, One King James Bible, Setting, Fine, Output, One Statueet, Human and Born Quotes Bible passages at random, unless prompted either by book or by a short phrase from the Bible, in which case it continues from that point. Voices are appropriate to persons in Bible. Narrow Raider is a neutral voice of ambiguous gender, unless the book is attributed to a particular person, in which case voices are appropriate to that individual. Input, One King James Bible, Setting, Mary Fine, Output, One Book with Seamily Infinite Pages, Current Count exceeds two million, containing copies of religious texts with commentaries and footnotes from all known religions in multiple different languages, plus some religious texts from currently unknown religions. Test 914-0116 Name, Doctor ██████ Date, December 17, 2011 Total Items, Three Sheets of 8.5 x 11 inch printing paper, with variant instructions. Input, A sheet of 8.5 x 11 inch printing paper with the instructions I would like a quarter pounder with cheese, no pickles, no onions, large order of fries, and a medium Pepsi, handwritten in number two pencil by Doctor ██████. Setting, 11, Output, A single sheet of 8.5 x 11 inch paper with the words I would like a whopper, no ketchup, no mustard, small order of onion rings, and a medium Coke. Input, A sheet of 8.5 x 11 inch printing paper with the instructions I would like a quarter pounder with cheese, no pickles, no onions, large order of fries, and a medium Pepsi, handwritten in number two pencil by Doctor ████. Setting, Fine, Output, A stack of US counterfeit currency, composed of standard paper and printed with number two pencil lead. The currency totals to the exact cost of the requested order, plus tax. Input, A sheet of 8.5 x 11 inch printing paper with the instructions I would like a quarter pounder with cheese, no pickles, no onions, large order of fries, and a medium Pepsi, handwritten in number two pencil by Doctor ██████. Setting, Very Fine, Output, A single sheet of 8.5 x 11 inch paper with the series of symbols inscribed upon it which do not correspond to any known system of writing. Subjects viewing the symbols describe a sudden and intense desire for a cheeseburger. Test, 914-0117. Name, Dr. Western. Date, February 23, 2013. Total items, one of my screws. Input, my screw. Setting, 11. Output, your screw. Test, 914-0118. Name, Dr. Syka Brown. Date, December 7, 2013. Total items, one of my screws. Brand bouncy ball. Cardboard label still attached. Input, one of my screws. Brand bouncy ball. With cardboard label. Setting, Fine. Output, A ball carrying a cardboard label identifying it as a brand extra bouncy ball. Behavior with identical to store bought varieties. Input, one brand extra bouncy ball. Setting, Fine. Output, one ball of smaller shape and different color with a cardboard tag specifying it as a brand super-duper bouncy ball. The manufacturer does not appear to produce this product. Testing reveals that the ball has 0.0% energy loss per bounce, making it extremely efficient. Input, one brand super-duper bouncy ball. Setting, very fine. Output, one ball that appears unchanged from the input. There is, however, a difference in its properties, exhibited when dropped by Dr. Brown. // 45 casualties and rich escape velocity, currently thought to be orbiting Mars. Test, 914-0119. Name, Dr. Bonn Hildebrandt. Date, March 26, 2014. Total items, one set photocopies and duplicates of lab notes and other research material in SCP-914. Input, one set of research materials. Setting, Fine. Output, one leather-bound tome. 54 cm x 42 cm. 256-valum pages. With title written in gold leaf. Language of the title and the contents were at first unidentifiable, and were later discovered to be an old dialect of finish. The contents are written in calligraphy, and more than half the pages are elaborately illuminated with colored inks and gold and silver leaf. Once translated, the contents proved to be identical to the contents of the input material, arranged chronologically. The tome has been radiocarbon dated to the early 11th century CE. And that chronyscally, a leather pocket is sewn into the inside back cover, and this pocket contains what appears to be a modern compact disc, 10 cm in diameter. Data on this disc is encoded by an unknown Kodak. Attempts to divine the Kodak and decipher the data are ongoing. Note, it's a pity the contents of this tome are classified. It's a piece worthy of any museum. I've never seen such exquisite calligraphy. The illumination may prove to be the most interesting part of the book, though. They often portray clockworks and related mechanical parts, as well as some of the input or output objects. Possibly they relate in a direct, rather than abstract way to the operation of SCP-914, as described on the illuminated pages. Dr. Vaughn Hildebrandt Test 914-0120 Name Dr. Date June 1st, 2014 Total items, 5 small, rectangular pieces of paper, measured 18 by 18 cm, with several equations related to the theory of special relativity, written on them in black ink. Input, 1 piece of paper, with certain equations relating to special relativity. Setting, rough. Output, a pile of wood pulp, and several drops of black ink. Input, 1 piece of paper with certain equations relating to special relativity. Setting, coarse. Output, 18 children's multiplication flash cards. Input, 1 piece of paper with certain equations relating to special relativity. Input, 1 piece of paper with certain equations relating to special relativity. Setting, 1-1. Output, 1 piece of paper featuring diagrams of Pythagoras' by polyhedral elements. Input One piece of paper with certain equations relating to special relativity. Setting Fine Output A ceramic tile with small black glyphs. The symbols have not been identified yet. Input One piece of paper with certain equations relating to special relativity. Setting Very fine Output A small black cube made out of a complex alloy. The cube emits a keying tone in the presence of photons. Test 914-0121 Name Dr. Disk Date June 1, 2014 Total items Five different bronze ingots One kilogram each Input One kilogram bronze ingot Setting Rough Output Twenty different bronze nuggets Average mass 50 grams Input One kilogram bronze ingot Setting Course Output Two large-sized bronze bolts Mass 500 grams each Input One kilogram bronze ingot Setting One one Output One 200 gram ingot of tin And one 800 gram ingot of copper Setting One kilogram bronze ingot Setting Fine Output An intricate bronze hub cap Mass One kilogram Inscriptions appear to be in Korean Output One kilogram bronze ingot Setting Very fine Output A rectangular bronze clock With a height of 24 centimeters And a mass of one kilogram It has a self-winding mechanism And appears to return to the proper time if its hands are moved Note All outputs of this experiment are currently in storage of Site-19 Test 914-0122 Name Dr. Falconis Date October 4th, 2014 Total items Three hardcover copies of Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson Input One hardcover copy of Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson Setting One one Output One hardcover copy of Bill Gates by Walter Isaacson Book contents consist of the biography as said bigger Input One hardcover copy of Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson Setting Fine Output A DVD depicting Steve Jobs narrating his biography Input One hardcover copy of Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson Setting Very fine Output A metallic cube with one button on it When the button is pressed, a holographic image of Steve Jobs appears The image appears to be sapient, capable of answering basic questions about Jobs' life As well as about Apple computers Test 914-0123 Name MTF-Zeta-9 Commander Assistant Researcher Daniels Date October 22nd, 2015 Total Items 5 Standard Issue FMP-90 Assault Rifles Fully Loaded Input One P-90 Setting Fine Output One P-90 AR Direct viewing yielded no discernable results, but operation of the rifle showed that it no longer required ammunition But fired compressed air at 43 billion gigapascals over a maximum distance of 700 meters Considerable damage to sight armory Test 914-0124 Name Dr. A. Sutherland Date October 24th, 2015 Total Items One Samsung Galaxy Note 7 Input One Samsung Galaxy Note 7 Setting 1-1 Output One M-67 Fragmentation Grenade Testing showed no extra normal properties Note I did this out of curiosity and because I wanted to prevent my phone from exploding in my pocket Apparently SCP-914 has a sense of humor and keeps up with current events Dr. A. Sutherland Test 914-0125 Name Dr. Levy Date October 27th, 2015 Total Items 4 330 ml cans of Coca-Cola brand soda Input One can of Coca-Cola brand soda Setting Rough Output A small pile of aluminum filings and sugar and a puff of water vapor Input One can of Coca-Cola brand soda Setting Course Output A can of Tesco brand cola Input One can of Coca-Cola brand soda Setting 1-1 Output One can of Pepsi brand soda Input One can of Coca-Cola brand soda Setting Fine Output A small pile of cocaine Test 914-0126 Name Dr. Sanders Date December 25th, 2015 Total Items 3 DVDs with It's a Wonderful Life Input One DVD with It's a Wonderful Life Setting 1-1 Output One DVD with White Christmas Input One DVD with It's a Wonderful Life Setting Fine Output One DVD with Home Alone Input One DVD with It's a Wonderful Life Setting Very Fine Output One seemingly normal DVD with It's a Wonderful Life 12D class personnel Viewed the film and As soon as the movie ended Banished They returned exactly 24 hours later 6 were dead And 4 appear to have been subjected to amnestics The two who were coherent Told interviewers that nobody seemed to recognize them in the alternate universe Test 914-0127 Name Dr. Devereys Date January 21st, 2016 Total Items One complete core set of the Dungeons & Dragons books in 3.5e and one bottle of generic vitamin gummies Input One complete core set of the Dungeons & Dragons books in 3.5 edition Setting Fine Output One large book measuring two inches by eleven inches by nine inches titled The Complete Dungeons & Dragons Core Set 3.5e Upon inspection the book was determined to be a combined version of all three previous books written in Millwich English font Note I'll be keeping this in the lounge if anyone wants to use this I'll also be holding a game next Tuesday Bring your own character sheets Dr. Devereys Input One bottle of generic vitamin gummies Setting 1-1 Output One bottle of generic vitamin tablets Note I don't know why I expected anything else Dr. Devereys Test 914-0128 Name Dr. Sykes Date February 2nd, 2016 Total Items 5 Brand Violins 5 Brand Violin Bows Input 1 Brand Violin & Bow Setting Rough Output A small pile of sawdust, plastic fragments, metal shavings, and stiff short hairs Input 1 Brand Violin & Bow Setting Course Output Several small balls of wood, plastic, metal, and hair sorted by color Input 1 Brand Violin & Bow Setting 1-1 Output 1 Brand Viola & Bow Input 1 Brand Violin & Bow Setting Fine Output 1 Brand Violin Tune to absolute perfection At one seemingly normal Brand Bow Further analysis shows that the violin cannot come out Tune Even when tampered with Input 1 Brand Violin Setting Very fine Output 1 Violin & 1 Bow With blue glowing patterns on their surfaces The violin is perpetually in tune Even when tampered with And the bow does not need to use a rosin When played by anyone, no matter the skill level It will invariably produce a tone usually acquired by years of practice And can play any song perfectly Music produced by the instrument has a calming effect Item is awaiting SCP classification Note It even made on Mt. Golgotha sound nice Dr. Sykes Test 914-0129 Name Dr. Curtis Date February 7, 2016 Total items Total items 1 pound of fully cooked Brand Bacon And 1 photograph of SCP-682 Input As listed above Setting Very fine Output 1 miniature replica of SCP-682 Approximately 5 inches tall to shoulder Made entirely out of cooked Brand Bacon And photo paper Object is fully animate Brandly hostile towards all life forms It escaped containment, attempting to kill all staff present It was unable to inflict any damage due to its small size And the materials used in its composition Entity made a sizzling sound As it moved that several staff described as pleasing to the ears Classification of Entity of SCP-682-BAC denied Note Very funny, Dr. Curtis You are suspended from testing SCP-914 until further notice Though I have to admit, it smelled delicious Dr. Gears