 The floor may not be in the robot. Superintendent Chalmers was a punk sore at the world or least he had been. Ever since that unforgettable luncheon he had with his good friend and possible lover principle Seymour Skinner. Ever since that luncheon, Chalmers had been obsessed with steamed hams, but not because he had an addiction to them or anything like that. No, Chalmers was more concerned over the fact that Skinner called them steamed hams, despite the fact they were obviously grilled. One day, Chalmers had gone to Krusty Burger and ordered a Krusty Burger. He took it to his house and looked at the hamburger over with a microscope. It looked just like the steamed hams that Skinner had served him just a few nights prior, and just like those hamburgers, this Krusty Burger was obviously grilled. Chalmers began doing some research by asking people around Springfield if they had ever heard of steamed hams before all the while-keeping and constant eye-for-Skinner and his crazy explanations. Chalmers was eventually approached by Virgil the Turk Solazo, who claimed to be a hamburger importer from Sicily. Solazo and Chalmers had themselves a drink at Mose Tavern, where they discussed the steamed hams. What you must understand, my friend, is that steamed hams as your friend claims are an Albany expression. Solazo explained before continuing with which means we must be there to discover the truth. What would Chalmers do to Skinner when he found out the truth? He didn't know in all honesty. Perhaps he would fire Skinner, but that might be going too far, especially since all Skinner did was serve him hamburgers from Krusty Burger. He didn't try and kill Chalmers by feeding him salty rats you find under a bus in Shadow Reader's home turf. The following day, Chalmers and Solazo took the bus from Springfield to New York City and arrived at the bus station catching a cab to Albany. Also during the cab ride, the driver let out a massive fart, which stank so bad that Chalmers had to stick his head out of the window to escape it. It smelled like a guy who ate the smelly dog named Chili Charlie, and then spat it out before taking a steamy dump for it. Solazo then patted the driver for the back before saying, Nice work, I'll remember that. He did this because Solazo had a fetish for farting. A fetish he had since 1933 at the Peace Summit with gone smelly hound. When they finally reached Albany, Solazo paid the driver with a small loan of a million dollars. They reached a small corner store named Hamburgers and Chips. They asked the chef if he had any steamed hams, to which he replied with a massive, Yes. He then did a funky dance as Chalmers and Solazo got themselves a table. The chef then brought their burgers to them and sat there curiously childlike as the two men ate their hamburgers. These hamburgers are obviously grilled. Chalmers said as he had merely finished his burger. No, no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers. A voice called out in the distance as principal Seymour Skinner came into the restaurant. Skinner! Chalmers yelled at the top of his lungs. Superintendent Chalmers, I think it's time for a nappy nap. Skinner said as Chalmers and Solazo passed out onto the floor as their burgers had been drugged. Mmm, steamed hams. Skinner said eagerly as he and the chef dragged the pair into the basement of the restaurant. They awoke several hours later in a daze. Chalmers could make out was a small shadow figure, putting some cans of Pepsi onto a baking tray. Seymour, is that you? What are we doing here? I'm scared. Chalmers cried while shaking like a munchkin on crack. You shouldn't have hung there, superintendent. Skinner said ominously before continuing with. I told you steamed hams were an Albany expression, and I told you they were patterned Skinner burgers and bowl family recipe. But you didn't listen to me. Skinner said in a harsh but wet voice. Oh, another thing superintendent. Skinner began before continuing again with. You really need to thank who your friends are. Solazo then appeared behind Skinner with a smug grin on his face. Solazo! Chalmers yelled at the top of his lungs. Solazo explained to Chalmers that he was actually a major drug dealer from Turkey who had become an informant for Skinner. He had told Skinner about Chalmers' plans to find out about the steamed hams, as well as his plans to fire him when he discovered the truth about them. So what is the truth then? The truth about steamed hams? Chalmers asked, to which Skinner replied with. Here he comes now. Suddenly, a big fat sweaty man came running in and yelled. Hey, let's start the game. Hi. Chalmers said bewildered, as Skinner said. You see, steamed hams are actually made from same spoke. Chalmers didn't respond. Skinner then explained that Sade was an addict to hamburgers, and had eaten so many of them that he now pooped out pure hamburger patties. This gives them the pure steamy taste. Sade then demonstrated this by taking a massive dump on Chalmers. And it came out as pure hamburgers freshly cooked from his ass. What the? I just... know. Chalmers put an even form of proper sentence, as Skinner left him to be killed by Salazo. Meanwhile, the chef and Sade accompanied Skinner back upstairs. You backstabbing son of a bitch. Chalmers yelled as he tried desperately to break free from his chains. What you've got to understand is that what happened between me and Don Corione was strictly a business matter. I have great respect for Don, and I would love to be in his service one day. Salazo explained as he became quite insane from an addiction to Chewitz. Suddenly, Sade then came falling down the stairs on top of Salazo, crushing him to death in the process. Well that was a big quiz. Pet the pig said as she came in, and then left through the cat flap. Cat flaps make your teeth go gray. Sade then realized Chalmers from his chains, and when Chalmers asked why he did this, Sade revealed that he had a family back home in Springfield, who he misterably. He had been forced to make the steamed hams, after being kidnapped by Skinner and the chef, whose real name was Harold Joseph. Chalmers agreed to help Sade kill Skinner and Joseph, as they made their way upstairs. However, Skinner had anticipated Chalmers' escape, by having a large group of mobsters waiting to ambush him and Sade. They survived the attack, however killing every last-get-man who stood in their way. They made their way onto the streets, where they saw Skinner and Joseph driving off in the steamed hams mobile. Joseph picked up Chalmers, giving him a piggyback ride, as the two men followed after Skinner and Joseph. The steamed hams mobile ended up crashing outside an old abandoned warehouse, somewhere on Stanton Island. Chalmers and Sade followed Skinner and Joseph inside the warehouse, where another large group of hitmen were waiting for them. They survived the attack again, and confronted Skinner and Joseph at the top of the warehouse. What are you thinking, Chalmers? You think they're just gonna let you walk after everything you did? Skinner asked rhetorically. Well, I'm hoping so. Chalmers said bluntly. Skinner then continued with, You think I give a shit about the fans for those tired old fucks on the school board? They're using you Chalmers just like Soloto used you, just like I used you, and just like that rat fuck Henry used you. Skinner explained before continuing again with, And now you don't fuck, you're gonna pay for it. Skinner yelled as he pulled out a Tommy gun, shooting it at the floor. Yeah, I never could fire one of these things. Skinner said while trying to reload his Tommy gun. So Chalmers and Skinner engaged in a violent shootout, while Sabe took care of Joseph by eating him in one go. Eventually, Chalmers managed to get six shots into Skinner, causing him to fall onto the floor to very near death. You know something Seymour, for the last 10 years all I've done is kill. I kill for my country, I kill for my family, I kill anyone that got in my way. But this one, this one for me. Chalmers finished as he shot the fatal bullet into Skinner's head, killing him instantly. Right, so where now? Sabe asked, as he and Chalmers made their way out of the warehouse. Well after this, I'm going to take a rest. Chalmers explained. When they got outside, two cars were already parked outside, and a large group of federal agents were there to see them. You see, Chalmers had been sent to gather information on the steamed hams, after making a deal with the FBI, who would in case stop his corruption from leaking to the press. Is it done? One of the feds named Leo, asked in a gruff voice, which sounded like he had smoked 5,000 packs of cigarettes. Chalmers nodded, to which Leo replied with, Excellent. Looks like a celebration is in order. Let's go to Krusty Burger. Sounds good to me. Leo said as Sabe and Chalmers went to get into the car, which Leo was not standing next to. Come with me Chalmers. There's more we need to talk about. Leo said, albeit a little sadly as Chalmers got into the car with him. Okay, we'll see you over there. Sabe said as he got into the other car, whose driver looked like he was high on toast. As they made their way down the street, Chalmers asked. So what's the big secret? Leo didn't respond. Chalmers looked up through the windshield, and saw that the car taking Sabe, took an unexpected turn, and drove off in the completely wrong direction. Hey hey, what the hell's going on? Where are they going with Sabe? Chalmers asked furiously. Leo then said in a sad voice, Sorry kid, Sabe wasn't part of our deal. All Chalmers could do now, was sit there helplessly as his new best friend gets driven away, to whatever fate awaited him at the end of that drive. That's all he could do, as the rain began to violently pour down onto the car.