 Dedicated to the strength of the nation, now heard on 1,000 radio stations. Proudly we hail. Proudly in the manly art. United States Army and United States Air Force presentation. Now here is your host, the well-known Hollywood showman, C.P. McGregor. Thank you, thank you. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. And again welcome to Proudly we hail. Where each week you will meet your favorite star in a story we hope you'll like. You'll remember that our star Dan Daly had the enviable job of making love to Betty Gravel in Mother War tights and Jeannie Crane in You Were Meant For Me. And that he did it so convincingly he became a nationwide hit almost overnight. And we know you'll enjoy Dan Daly as fight manager Al Stewart in the delightful comedy The Manly Art. Act one in a moment, but first Wendell Niles. Not an instrumentality of war but an institution for the establishment and maintenance of world peace. That's your regular army and U.S. Air Force friends. By promoting the principles of peace and yet being prepared to withstand any possible aggressive power can your armed forces best serve you. And your soldiers and airmen are serving themselves too through further education and vocational training. Theirs is a career of benefit to all. And I'll back at our microphone, our producer. And now act one of the Manly Art starring Dan Daly as Al Stewart. Seeing as Sullivan's gymnasium on New York's Lower East Side, a small dilapidated building used as training headquarters by second and third rate boxers. Today, however, the gym is empty except for a huge muscle-bound fighter called Slugger who is wearily punching a bag while as manager Al Stewart shouts instructions. One, two, hit him hard. One, two, one, two, lay it on faster, faster. Please, Al, I'm tired. I got a rest. You want to be champ, don't you? Come on, let's see you suck that leather. One, two, harder. Come on, harder. One, two. Oh, but I've been doing this for a half hour. Please, boys, have a heart. Okay, Slugger. Take a rest. Punching a bag like that ain't easy, Al. It's not supposed to be. Oh, but I ain't as young as I used to be, and I got that ringing in my ears. Listen, Slugger, who picked you up out of the gutters and offered to give you another chance? You did, Al. And who's been working with you night and day for the past four weeks trying to get you back in shape? You, Al. And who arranged that fight for you next week with Killer Klein? You, but Al... So you just keep on doing what I tell you to do, and I'll make a champ out of you again if I have to work 48 hours a day with you. Okay, Al, you're the boss. That's more like it. Yeah, but I get scared every time I think of that guy Killer Klein. I told you to quit reading the newspapers. Yeah, but ain't knockouts in a row, Al. They were eight jerks who don't know their fists and their feet. Quit worrying about it. Oh, I ain't as young as I used to be, and I got that ringing all the time in my head. You said that. Oh. Now, look, Slugger, if you'll just... Al, somebody's coming. Okay, Slugger, go on into the showers and show off tomorrow morning at 9. That's sure, boss. Only I wish that ringing would go away. Oh, hello, Al. Oh, hi, Margie. How's the next world's champion looking today? Great, Margie. Just great. Never seen him look better. Oh, and he's still a cinch to win over Killer Klein next week, huh? It's in the bag. Slugger will knock that guy silly. Oh, well, let's stop kidding ourselves. We both know that has been. We'll have about as much chance against Killer as a... a mouse and a bear trap. You can never tell what might happen. All it takes is one lucky punch. Oh, yeah, and that song's getting pretty old, Al. Now, let's not argue about it again, Margie. Oh, well, look, why don't you give it up? Why don't we do what we've been talking about now for three years? We will, Margie. We will just as soon as I get a few more dollars in the bank. But you've got almost 10,000 now. That'd be plenty, Al. Well, we could get married by that little chicken ranch like we planned and never have to worry about another thing. Sure, honey, but just a couple of more fights first. Oh, well... Oh, come on, baby. Let you and I go out and attack a pair of T-bone steaks and then I'll take you to the movies. I... I'm afraid I can, Al. What's the matter? Oh, that's what I came up here to tell you. You see, I... I have another date. Margie, are you serious? Oh, what do you expect me to do? I can't spend the rest of my life waiting for one of your bums to get in a lucky punch. Al, I... I'm not getting any younger. Who's the guy, Margie? Name's Edgar. He teaches mathematics at the university. Oh, an intellectual. And very brilliant. Well, maybe I'm no arithmetic teacher, but I still know when two and two makes four. Oh, please, Al. Try to see it my way. I guess I don't blame you, kid. Sure, go on out with this brain. Ah, I'll get along all right. And you can imagine how exciting it was, Miss Allen. Why, even now, the very thought of it makes me dizzy. So I've noticed. Who would have guessed that the square of the hypotenuse of that triangle would have equal the sum of the cosines minus the square root of the isosceles? Well, that certainly comes as a surprise to me. Yes, and then there was this other problem, a circle with a radius of 16.93 and a circumference... Edgar? Yes, Miss Allen? Edgar, can't we talk about something else besides mathematics? You know, we've been on this subject for three hours now. Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Allen. Not that I don't find it all very fascinating. Do you? I mean, really do you? Don't let it overwhelm you. You know, girls like you are hard to find these days. Most of the girls I meet don't understand me. Unbelievable. It's true, but now that I've met you... Oh, here's where I turn in, Edgar. Oh, yes, of course. Wait. Miss Allen. What is it? Lurking there in your doorway. That man. He looks like he may attempt foul play. Oh, well, well now, Edgar. Don't you try to... Ow! Good evening, children. Have a good time. Do you know this man, Miss Allen? Ah, Edgar, this is Al Stewart. Al, this is Edgar. How do you do, Mr. Stewart? And just exactly what are you doing here, Al? I just wanted to get a look at this mental marvel. Miss Allen, surely this low-bred, uncouth person is no friend of yours? What did you call me? Al, please. It's quite all right, Miss Allen. If you want a toothpick, wait, I'd make you take back that remark. Oh, I'm afraid any such attempt would be futile, Mr. Stewart. Futile? Are you kidding? Oh, well, he didn't mean it that way, Al. But I did, Miss Allen. You see, physical violence is controlled by laws of mathematics, just like anything else. What are you talking about? I was merely informing you that, as a mathematician, I would have an indisputable superiority in any, shall we say, tussle. Just how could a lot of figures protect you from a sock in the nose? Oh, it would be a simple matter of computing the relationship of distance, speed, and direction. You couldn't touch me. My gee, this guy's crazy. Al, don't argue with him. With your permission, Miss Allen, I should like to demonstrate my theory. I'm afraid he doubts my word. I'll say I doubt it. Why, if I wanted to hit you, all the theories in the world couldn't stop me. Well, you're at liberty to try, Mr. Stewart. Oh, Al, don't do it. But he asked me to. I shall be quite safe, Miss Allen. Come in, Mr. Stewart. You're going to be sorry you started this. Here goes. There. Hey, I'll be done. You see? I must have misjudged you. Well, I won't miss again. You did. Al, Stewart, there was enough empty air between your fist and his chin to fly a B-29 through. I don't get it. Now, reversing the situation, Mr. Stewart, if I wished to inflict a blow on you, you would be powerless to prevent me. You mean you think you could hurt me? Oh, there's no question about it. What are you way? 118 pounds and three ounces. OK, I'll be brave. Hit me. You know, this is really beginning to get interesting. You're quite sure you want to go through with this? I'll take the chance. Very well, Mr. Stewart. As you so aptly phrased it, here goes. Please say something. Oh, I'm terribly sorry about this, Miss Allen. Well, it wasn't your fault, Edgar. He asked for it. Al. How many guys hit me? There was only Edgar. My joy is still there. I'll say, swollen up to about twice normal size. I do hope you'll forgive me, Mr. Stewart. How did you do that, Edgar? Well, by employing a sort of mathematical formula I worked out. I'm afraid you must be dreadfully angry at me. Angry? Edgar, I've never been so happy in my life. Al Stewart, are you all right? Of course I'm all right. Margie, don't you see the possibilities in this? Well, I can see a dismal future in it for you if you ever tangle with Edgar again. This guy's the most terrific thing since Dempsey. He's got boxing all figured out according to arithmetic. I don't think I like that gleam in your eye. Well, he couldn't lose a fight anymore than an adding machine can make a mistake. Margie, baby, you've discovered the next world champion. Oh, no, no. I'm afraid you're getting entirely the wrong idea of me. And I know he is. Now you look here, Al Stewart. Edgar, you'd like to have financial independence, wouldn't you? Well, it would be pleasant to be able to pursue my work without the necessity for routine wage earning. Of course. And I'm just the guy that can fix it for you. Oh, here we go again. You meet me down at Sullivan's gym tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock, Edgar. I want to test that theory of yours against a friend of mine. And if things work out the way I think they will, well, neither one of us will have anything to worry about. Now, this guy is so little, I can't go into the ring with him. Let's do what I tell you, Slugger. All set, Edgar? I'm ready anytime Mr. Slugger is. Well, you're making like a murder of a me, Al. Why, if I hit him, he'll go sailing all the way up the Times Square. We'll find out about that. Now, when I ring the gong, meet in the center of the ring. And no holding back, Slugger. OK, but it's still going to be a murder. Come on. Mix it up. Take a swing at him, Slugger. I'm awful. Sorry, I have to do this, fella. I don't exactly relish the prospects myself, Mr. Slugger. I've got to do what else, eh, so? Hey, what happened? You missed him. That's what happened. Move in, Edgar. Uncaught that right. Very well, Mr. Stewart. I trust you realize there's nothing personal about this, Mr. Slugger. Well, be careful. You don't hurt your hand, Edgar. Be careful. Atta boy, Edgar. You did it. Somehow I wish I hadn't. It was perfect. He's out cold. But poor Mr. Slugger seemed to be such a nice chap. Don't worry about him, Edgar. He seemed more canvas than the Metropolitan Art Gallery. I had such an unfair advantage. You leave all the worrying up to me, Edgar. That is, if you can call what I'm going to be doing, worrying. Oh, Al. It's all set, baby. Everything's been arranged. What's arranged? I saw the boxing commissioner today and drew Slugger out of that fight next week against Killer Klein. And I substituted Edgar. Oh, Al. I don't like this. What do you mean you don't like it? You still want to get married, don't you? Well, of course, Al. And you want the chicken ranch we've always talked about, don't you? Oh, you know I do. And what are you worried about? Oh, I just have a funny feeling. That's all. And I'll tell you something else, Margie. We're not going to have just an ordinary chicken ranch. We're going to have the biggest one in the whole state. What do you mean? I took that $10,000 out of the bank today and bet every nickel of it on Edgar to win by a knockout in the first round of 20 to one odds. Oh, no. That's going to give us 200,000 ripe tomatoes, baby. 200 grand to start married life. Oh, but Al, if he loses, we won't have a thing. That city can't lose. What could possibly happen that could keep him from winning? I don't know, Al. But I'm just afraid something will. I just got that funny feeling. We'll talk briefly from our story The Manly Arts starring Dan Daly to bring you an important message. What young man wouldn't want to learn a worthwhile aviation specialty? Well, the Air Force has an offer for you, young high school graduates, with a yen for aviation training. And here's the offer. You can choose the type of technical training you want before you enlist. Get that high school graduates. You select a specialized Air Force training or technical school before you sign the enlistment papers. When you have been accepted for the school of your own selection, then you enlist. And you are assured of the career training you've chosen. There's more than 40 courses from which to choose such fields as radio and radar, automotive mechanics and administration. Help yourself, high school graduates, to a good-paying, highly-interesting career in the Air Force. Ask at your U.S. Air Force recruiting station right away about the aviation career plan. And now, act two of The Manly Arts starring Dan Daly as Al Stewart. Al walked right into a sure thing or so he thought when he found Edgar, the mathematics professor who had reduced even the art of boxing to a mathematical formula. As a matter of fact, Edgar's victory over Killer Klein seemed so certain that Al's bet is entire savings, $10,000, on the outcome of the bout. It is now the night of the big fight and Al and Margie are on their way to pick up Edgar and take him to the stadium. Maybe this is our big night. It's either our big one or our last one. We can't lose, it's like Edgar says, we're a simple arithmetic. Yeah, yeah, $10,000 minus $10,000 equals a big round zero. You just can't stop orient, can you? Oh, I guess I can't help it, Al. Why, Edgar will take one look at Killer Klein, make a few quick additions, and whammy. You and I are fixed for life. Well, we'll be fixed one way or the other. That's for sure. Here we are. Now, let's hope the genius hasn't wandered off somewhere. Al. Yeah, baby. Al, suppose Edgar doesn't win this fight tonight. Suppose Killer Klein gets in one of those lucky punches you used to talk about and... Oh, cut it out. Margie, I'm telling you we haven't got a thing to worry about. Okay. Now, come on. Let's go on up and get the champ. If a guy shakes, don't let him catch you worrying. We don't want him to start getting scared, too. And that guy have to pick on the fourth floor of a walk up to live on. No, he told me he got some of his best theories climbing these stairs. It gives me ideas, too. Well, this is it. Oh, why doesn't he answer? Al, you don't think... Relax. Give him time. Oh, good evening, Mr. Stewart. Miss Allen. Hi, Edgar. All set for the big fight? I seem to be prepared. Wow. How do you feel, Edgar? Oh, I feel fine, Miss Allen. Thank you. Of course you do. Now, come on. Let's go on over to the stadium. Very well. Yes, sir. This is going to be a night we'll always remember. Indeed, we will, Mr. Stewart. Be careful going down those stairs, Edgar. We don't want anything to happen to you now. Oh, don't concern yourself about me, Mr. Stewart. I'm as sure-footed as the pervert... Whoa! Edgar, look out! Holy smokes! I told him to be careful. Oh, Al, I knew things were going too good. Edgar, Edgar, are you all right? Al, is he... I can't tell. Edgar, come on. Snap out of it, boy. Oh, what... What happened? You tripped and fell down the stairs. Oh, Edgar, you're going to be all right. I seem to have been momentarily stunned. Come on. Try to stand up here. I'll help you. Thank you. Oh, that's better. Gosh, you sure had me scared. I was afraid you'd broken something. Edgar, you don't hurt anywhere, do you? Just my head. Oh, I seem to hear a ringing. That'll go away. I've had the same thing happen to myself. Oh, well, he doesn't look well. His eyes have sort of a vacant stare. Oh, he's going to be okay. Just a minute, Al. Edgar, Edgar, you remember us, don't you? Oh, yes, Miss Allen. And the fight tonight? You remember that? Certainly. What did I tell you? Gosh, Edgar, what is 2 times 3? Margie, this is silly. 2 times 3 equals... 2 times 3 equals... 7? Oh, no. Oh, maybe it equals 5. Or 9. I just can't seem to think. Oh, Al, what are we going to do? Edgar, look at me. Try to think. Oh, I have a terrible headache. Try it again, Edgar. What is 6 and 4? 11. Oh, no, that doesn't seem right. Oh, no, no, this can't be true. No, it's no use. Hell, that bump on the head knocked it all out, Abbey. This is a fine mess. This is... Well, you'll just have to cancel the fight. I can't do that. I've signed a contract. 2 times 1 and 1 is 11. Don't worry about me, Mr. Stewart. Perhaps by the time the fight starts, I'll be all right. I hope so, Edgar. I hope so. Well, let's go. This is still going to be a night we'll never forget. Just lean back against the rope, Edgar. That's right. Do you feel any better? Well, my head still aches, Mr. Stewart. Can't you remember any of that arithmetic? I keep trying, Mr. Stewart. Oh, but it's all a blur. That's not all it's going to be. He's rather large, isn't he? Who? Mr. Klein. Over there in the other corner. He only weighed in at 250. He keeps staring at me. I don't think he likes me. And when the gong rings, stall for time as long as you can. Keep moving away from him. Maybe once the fight is underway, the formula will come back to you. What if it doesn't? I'm trying not to think about that. Oh, if only this pain in my head would go away. It's just about time for the start of the fight. Good luck, Edgar. I'll try not to let you down, Mr. Stewart. Come on out there, Edgar. Remember what I said. Keep away from him as long as you can. And it's round one of this fight between the mighty killer Klein and Al Stewart's new discovery, Edgar. The two men touch gloves in the center of the ring and then back away. There's a lot of difference in size between these two fighters. Killer, as you know, is one of the biggest and roughest boxers in the ring today. Edgar's a small man weighing something under 120 pounds. Al is still moving around the ring, trying to size each other up. Killer Klein looks confident, which is more than we can say for Edgar. The ex-mathematics professor seems to be trying to remember something. Klein is moving in closer now, but Edgar backs away. Now the killer wants to get this fight over within a hurry, but he can't seem to make his opponent stand still. Uh-oh, no. Now Edgar's stopped backing away. Looks like we may have a little action here any second. And Edgar swings out with a right to Klein's jaw, and the killer laughs at him. The whole crowd is laughing now. And that punch hurt Klein about as much as a butterfly brushing his chin. Edgar looks worried, now starts backing away again. The crowd is yelling for more action. Killer Klein is getting ready to give it to him. Edgar's backed up against the ropes now. Looks mighty scared at this moment. Killer moves in slowly for the kill, and here it comes. Short left jab by Klein. Edgar's down. That punch wasn't a hard one, but it pulled him up like a rubber doll. Referee is counting over him. Three, four, five. Edgar's still out. Seven, eight, nine, and ten. And it's all over. Klein wins by a knockout in the first try. Doctor's been in with him for a long time now. Yeah. Poor fellow. He never had a chance. It was all my fault, too. I feel like a murderer. Oh, Al. I should have listened to you. Why not to think about it? How can I help but think about it? Not only do I send a nice little guy into the ring against Killer Klein, but I lose our $10,000 on top of it. Well, you can save it again. By the time we get that chicken ranch, we'll be so old we won't be able to bend over to feed the chickens. Maybe something will happen, Al. Well, I'm sure of one thing. I'm through with a fight racket for good. I'll wash dishes or sweep streets or something, but no more of this business. Oh, sure. I'll sure you can do it. We'll still get that ranch. Doc, how is he? He's not... Oh, he's perfectly all right, Mr. Stewart. He suffered just a very slight concussion. Oh, we've been so worried, Doctor. Is he conscious now? I'll say he is. All the time I was examining him, he kept spouting a lot of figures. You know, that man's a mathematical genius. Ow, that punch. It must have fixed him up again. A lot of good that does us now. He wants to see you. Oh, sure. Come on, Margie. Okay. Hi, Edgar. Oh, how are you feeling, Edgar? Oh, I'm feeling just fine, thank you. I assumed the doctor informed you I was not injured seriously by Mr. Klein. We were sure glad to hear that, Edgar. Yeah, and also about your arithmetic coming back. Well, there never was really any doubt about that. What do you mean? You see, my mathematical abilities never were actually impaired. I was merely simulating a loss of memory. Yeah. What? What did you say? As a matter of fact, I had been rehearsing that fall downstairs all afternoon. I must say I performed it realistically enough to fool you. You mean it was all a fake that you did that on purpose? Of course. You see, I'm an honest man. I felt it would be unfair to go into the ring against that man with such an overwhelming advantage. So I eliminated the advantage to make the fight a fair one. After all, I do have a certain code of ethics. Oh, Edgar, how could you? Of all the dappy screwball stunts. And just because of that, my 10,000 bucks goes down the drain. I had considered that, Mr. Stewart. Well, that was mighty nice of you, Edgar. And I further took the liberty of placing a wager on the fight in your name. We won $10,000, to be exact, because I bet on Mr. Klein. Why, Edgar? Say that again, will you, Edgar? Well, I figured that I wouldn't stand much of a chance against Mr. Klein. And I didn't want you to lose your money merely because of your faith in me. Margie, do you realize what this means? Oh. We've still got our money. We can buy that chicken ranch after all. Oh, Al, it's wonderful. Edgar, oh boy, we can never thank you enough for this. Don't mention it. Oh, and before you go, I'd like to give you a small wedding gift. Here. Well, it's just a piece of paper covered with figures. It's a formula, Mr. Stewart. X equals the number of hens, Y equals the number of roosters, and Z equals the number of eggs per day. Now, all you have to do... The curtain falls in the final act of the manly art. Our star Dan Daly will return for a curtain call after this timely message from Wendell Niles. Veterans, remember the good times you had in your old army outfit? Here's how you can be a member of that outfit again for at least three years. To qualify, you must have had overseas service since the 2nd of September, 1945. And here's the list of the units you can sign up for. The 2nd, 4th, 5th, and 9th Infantry Divisions, 2nd and 3rd Armored, 82nd Airborne, and 2nd Engineer Special Brigade. All these organizations are now in the United States. As long as your record is satisfactory, you will stay with the Army unit you have chosen for at least three years. This special enlistment opportunity goes for former members of any of the armed forces. So, look into this, veterans, and be sure and ask about re-enlisting in non-commissioned grade. Some of you will be able to sign up in grades as high as Sergeant. Get the details right away at your local Army recruiting station. Enlist for one of these Army outfits before the quotas are filled. Now here again is our star, Dan Daly, and our producer. It's my pleasure to welcome back to the microphone our star, Dan Daly, whose song and dance roles have almost overnight brought him universal acclaim. Dan, you're really well through that one. Well, thank you, CP. It was a very pleasant change of pace for me. No words and music. Good enough. Like so many Hollywood people, Dan, we understand you cut your teeth dramatically speaking on Broadway. Yes, CP, in the beginning, I played several juvenile roles. Musicals, weren't they? That's right. I did babes in arms, stars in your eyes, and a few others. And that was by way of preparation for your musicals in Hollywood, Dan. Yes, CP, but those musicals were a long time coming. When I first came out here, they gave me a heater and cast me as a thug. Well, that's a switch. Yes, I played gangster roles four years. I was a meanest guy in town. Well, Dan, tell us, how did you get back to your first love, musicals? Well, that's quite a story. Following my separation from the service, I was suggested for the role opposite Betty Gravel and Mother War Tights. They tested me at Fox, and they seemed to want me, but there was a fly in the ointment. What was that, Dan? I was still under contract to Metro. Oh. However, I talked to Mr. Louis B. Mayer, who very generously and unselfishly cleared the way for me that I might accept the role at a rival lot. And you've made such great strides ever since. All of which means and proves, Dan, that top people in this business, like every other, are tops. But now, thanks again for your proudly-behaved performance. It was a pleasure appearing, C.P. Before I leave, though, what's the playbill hole in store for next week? Next week, Dan, and ladies and gentlemen, we present the exciting love story, the Bryn Marr Girl. It's a story of Catherine Bond, who perhaps, like many other women, made an idol of the man she loved, only to discover that his feet were made of clay. But when she lost all those grand illusions of the man she loved, she found happiness. Sounds fine, C.P. I'll be listening. Goodbye. Goodbye, Dan Daly. Goodbye. You won't want to miss our dramatic love story next week on proudly-behaved, called the Bryn Marr Girl. Join us, won't you? Until next week, this is C.P. McGregor saying thanks for listening and Cheerio from Hollywood. Dan Daly appears with the courtesy of the Hollywood Coordinating Committee, which arranges for the appearance of all stars on his program. Our story was by Harry Treleven, with the orchestra under the direction of Eddie Stravani. This program was transcribed in Hollywood for release at this hour. Wendell Niles speaking.