 I have noticed that the more I've been pushing away the masculine energy, the less dudes I've been attracting. So I was like, I've been attracting a hell of a lot more guys in my masculine energy. But now that I'm like moving on a different wave, it's crickets. It's crickets right now. And I'm okay with that honestly because right now I'm just really focusing on being a better woman. So right now you feel like you need a man. I wouldn't say need. I wouldn't say need, but I do desire to have a significant other. Explain the difference to me. Need would be, from my perspective, it would be like, there's something that I want a man to do for me that I don't want to do myself. Or I just need someone to feel in space on times while I feel alone. Or I want somebody to take me to go get that pedicure instead of me having to do it for myself versus me wanting someone that will come fit my lifestyle. Or someone I can bounce all ideas off of a connection. Do you think black men need black women? Explain. Because honestly, as individuals, we can really do everything ourselves. Because I feel like a lot of black men say they need a woman. They think about cooking and cleaning and stuff like that. But to sustain life, I don't think black men need women. I'm going to give you my opinion in a second, but I want to explore it a little bit. Do you think that's a productive way of thinking? If black men are on this corner saying we don't need women and black women on that corner saying we don't need men, do you think that is a productive paradigm? No, it just sounds good. Why do you think it's not productive? I don't know. I'm lost in this question. Why do you think it just sounds good? Because in the black community, that's how we all feel like I don't need a man. I don't need a woman. People say they do, but deep down inside, all you gotta do is trigger a button and it'll come out instantly. Oh, I don't need these females. I don't need them. I don't need a man. I don't need them. You hear it from every angle. As soon as someone gets upset about something, it's on. But for you, do you feel like it's a problem? Do you feel like it's an issue? Honestly, if you don't, that's fine, but do you think feel that it's an issue? Of course. Why do you think it's an issue? There's no love. Like, why are we so bitter? Instead of like seeking out ways to pull greatness out of each other, we're against each other saying, oh, I don't need you for this and I don't need you for that. It just doesn't make sense. How can you hold both those thoughts simultaneously? The thought of it's not good. It's not productive and I don't need a man. How do you hold both those thoughts? To be honest, I don't know. This is a tough question. I think it's tough. The term is cognitive dissonance. The stories we have to tell ourselves so we can sleep it at night. But the other part of ourselves knows that it's bullshit. We know it doesn't stand up to scrutiny. I can agree because I've been that person that's like, I don't need a man moving in my own way. And then after a certain point, I get into my late 20s, I'm just like, I've been moving in my masculine energy. And then I'm just like, I should have a man in my life. Having a man in my life is beneficial. Even whether he's just a friend, our brother, a significant other, like we all really actually do need each other regardless. So I think this is an important, I think what you said just now is really important and I want to explore that because the I don't need a man narrative is very prevalent, right? It's common. It's not new. What do you think men are good for? What do you think is on ministry? What do we bring to society, civilization, women's lives? What is the importance of men? Being a protector, you know, a shield over our lives. And I don't think people really understand what that means. I think they just think that means being strong, you know, like physically, but it's all mental also. And even spiritually, we need men to protect us because as women, you know, one of our biggest gifts is intuition. And when we out here being a woman and just being ourselves, that means that we're being vulnerable. We're relaxed. So it's the man's job to protect our vulnerability. So you think what men bring is like an energy? So how do you reconcile? I'm trying to move away from my masculine into my feminine. I don't need a man. And I don't know any women who are good examples of femininity. How do you make that make sense? It doesn't really make sense. You know, it's one of those things, like when you're trying to figure it out, it's always a question mark. And you're just like, okay, what do I do next? Who do I, you know, like go to, you know, what energy should I feed off of, you know, what steps should I take to, you know, dig deep and be more feminine? So there is, there's this concept in psychology. It's called the Joe Harry window. And it's a, it's a matrix, I think is the technical term, but it looks like one of those cartoon windows, like a square with X in the middle, right? And it's broken up into four quadrants. And, you know, at the top it says things that I know about myself, things I don't know about myself. At the side it says things other people know about me, things other people don't know about me. Now, one of the squares is things I don't know about me that other people know about me. So an example would be like, you got broccoli in your teeth. You might not be able to see it, but I might be able to see it. Or you got lint on the back of your head. You might not be able to see, even though it's a you thing, but I might be able to see it. So I say that to say it's very important that we seek insight and perspective from the other, the other side, whatever the other side could be. And with this conversation, the other side is black men. But typically black women don't care about what black men have to say. So this is an opportunity for us to change that paradigm. So what are your questions about femininity that I might be able to shed some light on? I think the question I have is what portion of our childhood should that have been the most important to learn? So I read somewhere that 97% of who we become as human beings, like as adults, is dictated by whatever happens between the time you're born and like seven years old. And if something bad happens within those years, for the most part, the rest of your life is going to be fucked up as a consequence. And that's because in those early years, kids are still taking in cues. They're watching adults and things like that to figure out how to interact with the world. Like what does a happy interaction look like? What does a sad interaction look like? What is an angry interaction? And they're just recording. They're just tape recorders, right? Unfortunately, a lot of our people grew up in not just poverty, but also generational trauma. So a lot of times those years were compromised. And it's very hard to come back from that. But as adults, it is our responsibility to heal our inner child. And I'm glad you said that. I'm so glad that you said that. Because there's so many adults that are bitter and angry and upset at their parents. And I get it. I get it. But they got to understand that our parents did the best they could. And some parents will acknowledge that a lot of parents won't. And I think a lot of people will sit in bitterness and pain and trauma and constantly blaming the parents, either being distant or acting out instead of rolling up their shoulders, looking in the mirror and saying, hey, this is my life. Let me figure out how to fix it. And I think the most important part about that is it's not necessarily a parent you need to forgive. It's your seven-year-old self, your eight-year-old self, your nine-year-old self, who for some reason, because you're a child, you felt like you were at fault. You felt like it's because of me. If I wasn't here or whatever, then things wouldn't be like this. And at the court, that's really what it is. And that's what's sad. Because a lot of times when that goes unaddressed, you literally just repeat the cycle. You end up being exactly how shitty your mom was to you, to your daughter. So I think it's about, and for some people, that's very painful to do that, to peel back those layers. And that's why I recommend therapy. But it starts there. Yeah, I can agree 100%. Ask me something else. Do men really desire feminine women, like they say? Or do they really like masculine women more? Because a lot of men tend to complain about masculine women. But if they're presenting women more feminine women, they don't know what to do. I think masculine women are easier to have sex with. Interesting. And men, we are very sexual creatures, very visually driven creatures. So we see the utility for the masculine energy. But ultimately, we know that's not what we want. That's not what we want inside the house. That's not what we want 20 years down the line. That's not what we want raising our kids, our sons, our daughters. We know that's not what we want. Now, the deeper answer to that is you have to decide on the life you want to live into your old age, and then decide on the type of companion that's going to make sense for that life. So for most men who've self-actualized and done the work and who are top 1% guys, they want peace. Another nigga in the house doesn't bring you peace. That's so true. I grew up with four brothers. Because I got to go out with my shield every day. I got to go out with my full armor. I want to be able to take that off when I get home. So no, ultimately, we don't fuck you. But ultimately, the masculine woman is not going to win. And for me and I assume other men who have wisdom and understanding, we can make the distinction. This girl you play with. This is a girl you build with. Because I don't need what I already have. I already have a dick. What I need yours for. That's so true. Yeah. And I think it's interesting because I think women understand it on some level because I've heard girls say, you know, I met this dude. He was so fine. He was six foot whatever. And he had a jaw line and all this. But as soon as he opened his mouth, I lost interest. And it could be because his voice was light. It could be because he wasn't articulate. It could be because he was just goofy as hell. So women understand it works that way. But they don't understand like, it don't matter if I look good if I walk like a man, talk like a man, and they're still gonna try to fuck. But ultimately, to him, it's going to be the same as the light voice dude was to me. But I think unfortunately what happens, and this is where I'm hard on men, we keep incentivizing that type of behavior from our women. Because we stay in their DMs. You know what I'm saying? We stay texting them. We stay taking them on dates. We stay boosting them so they don't feel like there's anything wrong with me. And ultimately the other ones are going to lose. Because those men aren't going to stick around. That's true. I have noticed that the more I've been pushing away the masculine energy, the less dudes I've been attracting. So I was like, I've been attracting. I love a lot more guys in my masculine energy. But now that I'm like moving on in different ways, it's crickets. It's crickets right now. And I'm okay with that honestly, because right now I'm just really focusing on being a better woman. And I think what you just said is really powerful because for men, the challenge for us in life, we do all kinds of stuff to make ourselves better, to peacock, right? So we can attract a large number of women. So a quote unquote high value man is going to attract a lot of women. The difference is a woman who's doing what she needs to do, she's not going to attract as many people. She's going to attract more quality people. So your job is quality, not quantity. Men's job is quantity. And then we're finding it to quality. And the other thing too is I think we don't give men enough credit. Men can see the BS. Men can see the BS, especially the type of men you want. Because for me, while I tell women, the dusty dude shouldn't exist to you. They shouldn't. Because if you're going to attract a woman, you're going to attract everybody, right? But who you choose to entertain is what's saying something about you. Because I hear women complain about men sometimes. I'm like, you know, oh, he was broke and he was unintelligent, things like that. But it was like, well, y'all, he was intelligent enough to hold your attention for six months. Y'all had conversations, the vibes were nice. So maybe you are not as intelligent as you give yourself credit of being because he was able to hold and captivate your attention. That's true. I can agree. You know, ask me something else. I'm liking this.