 No Okay, stop people are gonna think that I force you to do that. Well, they'll know Yeah, I don't want him to know you just throw me into the Efeb mines Yeah, it's like go big funny. This is the Halloween episode. We should begin with going Oh What is the quintessential sort of monster associated with Halloween dragon, is it the ghost the vampire the werewolf the Frankenstein Guess Dracula kind of wins doesn't he the the the most Iconic Halloween villain would you say I guess so I don't know if it's fair cuz Dracula kind of has the you know He's got a name Well, he's been around for a lot longer, so you got Frankenstein and Dracula who've been around for a long time I don't know which one is older. It's like a famous werewolf or is it just werewolves Frank Frank the werewolf Frank yeah, yeah, it's just werewolves. I think yeah, just like anthropy in general Hmm And then ghosts how long they've been going for that's a while it's a while Thousands of years I mean that a concept of the spirits Yeah, it goes it goes to be like we have to be the oldest as we've been around since the first piece of died, you know So it's like come on Frankenstein it's like he needs more representation. I think Maybe they should be Frankensteins Look out it's bombo. No How do you say Frankenstein in Germany is it Frankensteiner? Frankenstein Sounds funny You're funny. Thank you. No problem, man. You're a very friendly person Liar. So why he dressed up as Jason? Hmm. I Wasn't me. I was dressed up like that. You haven't even seen Friday the 13th of Halloween. I'm not dressed You can never dress who's cool Jason or Michael Myers hmm, I Feel like Jason is Jason's all over the place though. Yeah, that's true. There's like all there's so many different like kinds of Jason Which Jason you would to be fair. I don't remember. I don't remember Michael Myers ever going to space Yeah, which is a cool thing, right? He gets more cool fact Jason is cooler, but only slightly and someone else said Michael Myers. Oh, it looks like we're already split in chat. Oh Okay, I I guess between the two they're I don't know. I they're interchangeable to me, honestly Wow, you don't consider the mask difference incredibly important I'm gonna I Freddie is way creepier. Oh totally Freddie kind of beats them both I'd say he's got a personality The way that he kills people like the the whole dreaming thing is that's He's a he's a molester I mean that's that's a fear factor I guess for some I think we're Freddie and Jason Would you rather be pursued by a murderous murderer or a murderous rapist? There you go. Do I have to choose? Well, you know that before you die There is a chance that you might be raped. However small it is always greater than zero Michael Why isn't Jason probably get it get the job done quick, you know compared to am I gonna get raped first? The thing you don't know right, I suppose I would like to be raped first But because I think that would okay. Well calm down I will I'll explain tell me why right now. Tell me why I want to know why tell me why All right, the the reason is because I feel like during a Supposed rape I would that would be that that would open up escape opportunities Oh, I thought that it was like in the statement that was just not happening because one comes first, but they both come, you know well You even want to touch that one Rex, huh I Just pulled up your scream and wow this every frame of psycho thing is cool looking yeah, it is little spooky ghost I like the ghost Maybe that's definitive proof that the icon of Halloween is definitively the ghost We go way back dude. Yeah, man. I don't know. I think it's I think it's I think it's a jack-o-lantern I think the jack-o-lantern is the most iconic Halloween imagery Monster though and I imagery sure I give you that a jack-o-lantern is a spooky monster. I mean it can be I suppose Pumpkin head those movies you have pumpkin head. You could have Pumkin balls different imagery going around with the jack-o-lantern What's um isn't it? Simpsons have the the great the great pumpkin. Was he a bad guy? I can't remember the great pumpkin with Charlie Brown Oh, I mean they made fun of it and he tried to kill often confused with the Simpsons. Yes No, no, it wasn't that was the great pumpkin Charlie Brown was very much a Halloween thing because remember as lioness is sitting in the pumpkin patch Waiting for the great pumpkin to rise up Charlie Brown and the gang were out trigger treating And he got rocks. Oh Right, that's right. I remember that Is that did he for like did did Linus literally just form his own cult and then go off into the woods and celebrate it? Well, everybody did like We would be splitting hairs between a one-person fan club and a cult really I would say that It is a little culty in that he convinced someone else to Like join him in the pumpkin patch Right and in doing so it ostracized her from her friends and the their her social life and the things that she wanted to do Turns to her quiet in a quiet moment is I'm gonna need your social insurance number I'm not gonna need you are you ready to tie it to the fan club of the great pumpkin Great pumpkin demand would you right like to become a premium member? Oh Did also the video for sauron by the way Ooh nice. Oh, we're really gonna have to get a give an e-fab go and we'll be check out tonal'd I think At some point because that sounds like good shit. He's got two cooking videos for us to check out It's been too long. It's just popped up on my timeline. It's really funny I She holding it like a phone You've heard of banana phones. This is eggplant phone Maybe you can hear when you hold that when you hold a seashell up to your ear You can hear the ocean. So maybe if you hold an eggplant up to your ear, you can hear Mexico or something Oh When I first put it up there fucking happy little ghost was in her face Yeah, I don't know why would they have it advertised that was so weird, but you know kids have fun with stuff That's that's what that is. It's the playful nature eggplants excited Oh The phone of choice for every household you can also eat them Yeah, does your iPhone double as emergency rations, I think not Do you guys remember the everyone was making A call it Apple. Oh, how could I forget the one on Twitter made the abyss of Side Duel into me? I should have put that in a major rebirth Yes, that would I honestly be scarier than anything in amnesia rebirth. Yeah, how I was just about to ask How is it and I kind of had a preconception that it's not as great It's Really because it's popular and I instantly just it isn't it's not even pop Who's even playing it even like this log after losers like us who got duped into thinking it would be a good frictional game You just can't top so many I guess we did you guys like the original amnesia? Oh, yeah I thought that was pretty good. Oh, yeah Some was insanely good in rebirth is like bad at very high hopes and I was in fact We have an e-fat talk to originally so I guess the background story. We only alluded to it slightly but the plan for That video the one that would eventually became the amnesia rebirth bitch fest It was only supposed to be like an hour or so and it was supposed to be in front of an entire other e-fap recording Essentially, yeah, but we just wouldn't shut up about how bad it was And so he went on for like four and a half hours about how much we didn't like amnesia rebirth And so he decided well, I guess that'll just be its own thing And it felt good to get it off of our chests. It's very cathartic It's daily player flaw is between 200 and 300 players. It's just like it's only been out for 10 days Yeah, I mean I did I was it yesterday or two days ago, but just check twitch and it's like barely 300 players barely 400 players and so my has still like 90 and The doctor said like over a hundred so it's because every time someone hasn't played those like oh you should play those Yeah, but with this one is just like just play the doctor sent fuck it Yeah, play that I said play soma Play the first four hours of resident evil seven. Oh right now the doctor said actually has 429 years Oh my god, probably because of Halloween probably because it's good Well amnesia rebirth has 11,000 right now. I guess someone make a streaming it which makes sense won't last though Yeah, because it's Halloween. Yeah. Yeah, it makes sense makes sense I Dr. Sense steam charts Dr. San is currently at nearly 600 players. Yeah, that's one one streamer. I did not Viewers, so there you go. It makes sense number. Yeah. Yeah You know, I hope people enjoy rebirth I guess No, I don't I don't want them to do I want them to hate it so that we never get another game like it I mean, I know that makes us a bunch of soury grouchy old I don't know Pete just losers, but I don't want you to enjoy bad things Yet did it go like the jump scare route? Oh Boy it Literally, there is a mechanic that jumps kids you every few seconds if you're Hey Yeah, the developers asked us to properly refer to it as fear flashes not jumpscares. Oh That's stupid They put that in their steam patch patches patch notes Like they were never intended as jumpscares. They're fear flashes I wouldn't be surprised if there was an actual meeting where they were like we should probably rename it rebrandix It sounds bad like let's call them. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, because jumpscares has rightfully a negative reputation Yes Which is like, oh we can't call him that fuck My understanding is just literally it's like it's just flashes Images of like things from another world and that's it. It's kind of like HP lovecraft It's like that's an interesting mechanic But like if you're sitting there and fuck no no not an interesting mechanic Like that's fun narratively for character losing their mind and shit like that But when you're playing a video game and it just throws images at you That's fucking annoying That is correct. It is very annoying it it it makes you go up the first like three times But the game is just they're everywhere in the game. So it quickly becomes Extremely tedious Space did that dead space did exactly that it was the marker you kept seeing it everywhere But it wasn't tired in it and it actually got to you Yeah, it only happened at certain times and it had some relevance to the narrative I was gonna see of the because that you're supposed to have in your head and it wasn't like obnoxious Yeah, I don't remember it being as literally as you play a game Someone grabs you and shouts at you every once in a while like that shit's annoying Mm-hmm Dead space was so fucking good. I need to replay that. I started replaying Resident Evil 4 We able to like get dead space one in co-op Well, we got dead space three. Yeah, I mean, but this one's so it is cooler Dead space three is fine though. That space three is like Resident Evil 5 where as a game I agree. Yeah, it's it's fine. It's fine. There's that space three is a fine game It's just not nearly as good as what came before it, but it's a fine game and you can play it and have fun It had that really obnoxious like British villain trope He's like the voice of the guy Think you're gonna know him very well funnily enough I know him because he's in he's in the Buffy face for as one character. So then I recognized his voice I was like pretty sure that's fucking dead space three villain Hello Isaac, I'm a bad man You fall like a little bit and then they just don't try and kill you I remember that being I need to play that game again We'll do it Rex once we're done with Resident 5. We'll do it. Yeah, that's face three Well, we could we could set up for next spooktober, I guess because only you know one time We'll play it and it makes sense to do it in a spooky time of year Yeah, we could play it a year from now So Be here One three hundred sixty-five days from now. I will send your alarm I'll ping you in half a year just to remind you. Yeah, just a reminder so I can make sure to get my sleep schedule in order Make sure I've napped have it get a and I'll get some booze in the fridge. I Remember dead space three was really disappointing because the concept was so good for the environment being in like the like the idea of the staff and them Finding the marker stuff and them like destroying themselves to prevent it from ever leaving the planet and In the planet recent in the research center down below and all the stuff that happened there Super cool idea That just was kind of not presented all that well. I think I never finished a third one I was bored. I think I don't remember. I Think it's totally strange by the time you get to By the time you get down to the planet There are some parts of it that really just seemed like they don't fit and the whole alien aspect of it was really Odd it did felt like it didn't belong But it was never bad, but it was it always felt odd to me There was a we know what we actually watched so we watched the zero punctuation for an easier rebirth about an hour or so ago and Yancy said something in his own very very very clever funny way dudes hilarious But he basically said the gist of it was if there's a monster and a weird creepy place Then you know, that's where monsters are from But if there's a monster in your living room then that's extra spooky because you know your living room is a familiar place It's very relatable and a monster shouldn't you know be there so it comes across as being extra extra spooky I feel like Dead Space 3 at the end is kind of Kind of where we get that aspect You go to the weird alien place and when all the spooky weird things are in the weird crazy alien place It's all weird. It doesn't contrast with like like in the first two Dead Spaces You had you know a ship and you had Titan station and all that stuff and it was a familiarity with things and Monsters being there was extra spooky. Yeah, to maybe compare the rebirth You know those those spectery people who have spotlights you spot that in like at one point in your house That could be like super terrifying but in the alien world You're just sort of trying to figure out what they're about you're like is this like a century is this kind of some kind Yeah, I I thought it was a mechanic at first cuz it went around like scanning things, but it wasn't scanning I guess it was just I don't even know what it was doing They look really shitty it I was telling Mahler that they looked kind of like They just bought it on some asset store and plopped it in their game It was a shame because they're in the um the artwork for the game if you've seen the artwork where it's like the girl Shushing and then By the pillar it's because the funny thing is I saw it at first and I was like oh that kind of looks like dancer of the Boreal Valley from Dark Souls or something Like out of context and then I realized that um, oh, that's supposed to be fucking Apart like that's one of those googly spooks that chase you and trying to find out. There it is Just that little that's that's used in sort of like concept art the one of the on the left There's better shots of it, but I just like it It looks a little more floaty and stuff I'm those the I Could see how that would be what they were Good in game Yeah, look weird that they have they look like their face looks like this flesh guitar with these weird harpy Just tendrils on it But it's really dull and it opens up and it yells at you and it's got this weird flashlight thingy That it floats around it doesn't seem like it fits in with anything Again just reposting it this would have been scary There you go, that's her that's her new enemy. He was just sitting in the corner and like yelling in a nice quietish way That makes no sense I mean I was gonna say he sounds like those voice actors or no not not a voice actress Like I want to be a voice actor, but they're trying not to wake mom up. So they have to do this scream it's like He's doing that in the court people who are whisper yelling I feel like a crumpled up piece of paper whenever I hear whisper yelling it's just fucking like 12 year old does I am not yelling, okay Fucking hell Although like Dragon Ball Z fan films, it's like I'm about to power up You underestimate me my true power It's like yeah, it is like a 10 year old is asleep at night and he's trying to like relive his favorite moments from Dragon Ball Z into his pillow Also for those who don't understand spot, maybe you should watch e-fap gaming for once, huh? What is a legend Double claps that's a lot of super super cool pretty impressive this fan art. Yeah, it's super cool Lot the abyss of sport really great great spot would have been scarier and amnesia Standing in that maze like oh fuck I just picture you'd be like, hey Let's team up Like So, oh, yeah, I think we should probably mention it because I know a lot of people would be curious Sean Connery has passed away unfortunately Fucking film legend. I saw it was Edgar Wright on Twitter to the point it out He like starts up this iconic character, but then he doesn't get typecast into that role He's just known as Sean Connery because of all of his different roles being a fucking It's just Sean Connery for those of you who don't know Appeared in hit films. He's best known for Sir Billy The Guardian of the Highlands Almost tempted it for us to see that film. It looks I watched half of the trailer and I was like, oh We're gonna watch Sir Billy the Guardian of the Highlands if we get if someone reminds us to like myself or metal Then yes, in honor of Sean Connery, we're gonna do exact we're gonna remember him the way he'd want to be By riffing on Sir Billy Guardian of the Highlands, he's always been said from Zardos to me Well, I've always like the things I remember most from obviously Bond and then like fucking The rock was it was a big one for me who here's It is awesome Last year, yeah, yeah, that's one of my films about keeping rotation. It's a lot of fun For me Sean Connery was always Indiana Jones's dad. Yeah, that's Yeah, that was the one that always it first pops into my mind because grew up with Indiana Jones And that's what I just kind of remember him the most from untouchables was fucking great October the man who would be king was fan tabulous and you got Uh, yeah, someone did mention I was waiting for it League of Extraordinary Gentleman Alan Did he play King Arthur? Yes, he was that film that was with What's the name of the other dude the one who looks kind of like spot? Wait, he was oh he was in the man who would be king as well. Yeah He was there with what I'm sorry. What's that? Oh, nothing. All right. Yeah, he was in that movie. He was there with Oh peachy Yeah, Dragonheart you forget that yeah Is the poop dragon he was in first night Yeah, that was when he was King Arthur, right? Sure Yeah, that's what it was. That was a good line Robin and Marion Diamonds are forever. Yeah, I'm losing Cuba Russia with law. He's so many good. He was in Was he in No, I don't I don't know why Robin Hood Prince of Thieves popped up Um, oh, yeah, he turned on the roll of Gandalf. That's right. He was supposed to originally be him fucking dipshit What the idiots I why why are we celebrating his life right now? Oh to see what that would have been like because I think most people like now I wouldn't have been better than Ian McCallan. It's like, well, it would be cool to see it. That's all Yeah, I mean Could have been really nifty. Yeah, I think he turned that down for Sir Billy To keep himself open I feel sir sir Billy really I connect with his character He speaks to me not going to play some some gay ash wizard You know, I'm not going to play some gay ass I'm not playing Sir Billy Guardian of the Highlands It just it does sound like the county's like, I don't know we're gonna I'm playing that shitty kidding me Maybe maybe just we had a personal beef with jr. Tolkien and That panjee beautiful shelf book Also, hi just bullshit. How do you do? Pretty good Pretty good. I'm uh My my my legs are really stiff because I finally fired the vr backup like I got the set up all in my office and everything and I played fan fan phasmophobia Three to four hours in vr. I lost completely lost track of time and uh, my And my legs hurt because like as a vr guy instead of holding like a flashlight and two items You can hold four items if you keep two on your belt and two in your hands And so if you want so the problem is you have to operate your radio with your hand or operate doors So if you have your hands, well, you can't do it unless you drop items on the ground So it's like whenever I wanted to open a door I had to drop something on the floor open a door bend over and pick Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I did so many squats that my legs are like killing me You should just carry it around the table with you. I know right? Well, no, that's a thing. I um Your mic if I if if I put a table in my play space all I'm gonna do is wag my head Which would be extremely funny if I was streaming but You know, it is what it is But I had a great I had a great time last night in the spirit of halloween Someone said uh, that wasn't funny, man He wasn't against fantasy films because he was in the league of extraordinary gentlemen Um, that was after lord the rings. It's 2003 and I'm pretty sure it's the cause of that mistake Yeah, I'm almost certain I'd have to look into it But I'm almost certain he he feels that he should have accepted the gad doll for all his like Yeah, should my mic is popping hold on somebody says my mic's going weird Yeah, it's making weird noises I think I know what's wrong That's that's the rock everyone's right watching dates is now Okay, is it better the rock Well, it's hard to tell from you saying is it better Got a quick meme here. Okay. Hey, what's up? Is it any better? Sean Connery was really great in celebrity jeopardy or a call Giving the crystal both the Oracle spine of color is you know, he was one of the original Power providers to the Oracle spiders. We all knew this What movie was that from? Um, that's from Zardo Yeah, Zardo Where's the spandex thing? Oh, it's great. There's an image. Oh, it's such a good film Okay That chest here it has to be What actually there is there's there's a concept in fucking a well groomed forest Yeah, that sounds better. I think the rolling hills of the high scottish highlands That's how you do it over each pectoral They're all just like the hills Bond James Bond He played him what three times um Didn't he play him after someone else did once Was it George Lazenby? I can't remember the timeline is a bit skew if in my head, but uh, is that a web lane your pocket? You just It was Sean Connery and then Roger Moore came in for one I think and then based on the performance of that they brought back Sean Connery again temporarily for never say Never again. I think that was it Diamonds are forever. Maybe I can't remember but then Roger Moore took over For a long stretch and the movies got really silly with him and then George Lazenby did uh On your majesty's secret service and then I like what is often said about the p.s. Brosnan ones. It's like Goldmine is really good. Tomorrow never dies. It's like, yeah, it's pretty good. I guess then will does not enough is like kind of Kind of tells him and then die another day is like the one no one likes to talk about because it's so fucking bad Just to make sure you've seen it someone sent Asrathore sent this here. I think you've seen it, but I have it is oh, yeah, we can pop that Yes, oh nice good stuff The legion of squad This is all of us with our sports owners If ever we have a squat fap we have to have these people on and use these I love how we can at least explain why metals feeder blue I know right well we're all standing in puddles at least his is showing a supply. That's all Sorry, my phone went off with spam like fucking typical If you don't have the blue under it's not a real sport. That's true. That's how you can tell That's your height. That's how you tell the fake sports from the real sports Well, sometimes the fake ones throw some blue in this you have to be careful Yeah, you gotta be careful. Yeah. Yeah, but um people it, you know I'm suddenly picturing like a like a spot the fake sport You know, well someone made a um A whiz squad out of a whiz Waldo page I saw that that was really cute. That was really great. Let's see if I can find it Because you know spot is just he's such a beloved character Instantly beloved Moving forward with my life. I'm always gonna consider My my existence as you know before sport and after sport He's he's easy to spot because he's completely white Yeah, if he was on this if he was on like a snowing one he might be yeah, that might would have been tougher And his blue would have frozen so is it blue in this picture? Oh, there is Uh, oh hang on. Yeah, there is there is there's a totem boy a little bit of blue With sport Good shit looking good. What? So I guess the plan is what you say before you slap someone's ass We'll probably just talk about a movie watch a review of said movie And then discuss that and then do that for the next movie and we've got Or I was in 15 minutes to do so and then we will I would be remiss if I didn't mention that tonald released another cooking video today. Oh, yeah It's the one I requested. What would you cook for sauron? Good night Perfect Um, and I saw like the opening 10 seconds and I was like, oh, I have to say this he dresses up in it Yes I wanted to dress up a sport. Oh, it's a tough costume, but you can pull it off. Definitely So we're covering nostalgia. Oh, I bet I could pull that costume off. You've nostalgia covered Van Helsing, you see and it's the first time. Oh, I figured it would be a suitable time to cover him on halloween Like, oh man, I guess what my fucking costume is this year. I'm going as melvin brother of the joker Oh god, that's okay. I don't even know how many people he had know of that shit It was like, I know that's really obscure He was like, you're the joker, right? I'm like, no, I'm elvin. That's the joke Like they just and then they don't know what I'm talking about That was his joke. Basically. He was like, wouldn't it be funny if the joker had a brother who looked similar But was called melvin And he like is not good at being a joker. That's the joke. That's the joke The fucking it did go down. Well, I think he wants to delete it from the universe Kind of but, you know And the cops keep catching him instead of the actual joker It's it's kind of what happens I'm melvin Got another result of like when a melvin tries to parody a melvin Melvin sounds like a dillbert character Yeah, we now hear melvin. I'm reminded of um, what was it that bill and ted bogus adventure, right? Wasn't that what they called it? They melvin to the reaper Yeah Melvin's honest with like lame Sort of I'm not the only one who remembers any of the things I remember Well, I know the movie. I just didn't know that was the commentary on it, you know Because a lot of people like the reaper in in bill and ted I think they said that in red letter media. They're saying that they sort of like I think was mike was trying to Like trying to put a word to or encapsulate Like the idea and concept of taking something that's initially scary or intimidating and then sort of like Lameifying it. It's like now. They're just like and like they're just a regular joe and they're just kind of trying to Fit in and stuff, but it's awkward because they don't clearly fit in or something And it's like yeah, they're melvin Like the reaper suddenly he's like just trying to be all buddy buddy with them when two seconds ago He's trying to kill them Well So van helsing We watched it. Where do you even begin? It was uh, it was a ride to say the Almost exactly as I remembered it because I remembered it pretty well in a weird way seeing lots of stuff It was just like, yeah, I remember this I was not at all Shocked by anything so I guess to be clear So van helsing is probably really bad However, it is also probably It might be my go-to for extremely fun movie that I could watch over and over and that I enjoy immensely and I will I will stand for van helsing It's in the character of that man and robin for me. I love this shit. Oh, yeah, van helsing is great The movie just clearly showed its hand in the very beginning with how fun the presentation is on everything And I think it was like you're in for a ride and you're probably going to see some continuity errors And we don't really care The budget's like clearly high It's almost a hundred million. Yeah about 160 million was the budget. I think uh, it made money Yeah, I made it made a 300 million in the end over that so Great because they do a lot it definitely looks like a big budget movie They go to all of these different sets and all the sets are really well done With all their props the CGI is hit and miss like some of it some of it holds up fairly well some of it's kind of um, it has it has all the sequences that you would have in these sorts of things from uh, exploding horse carriage rides to massive suites cables and Dracula's castle to fights in an old village To spooky forests and they kind of so much of you know, spooky movie monsters. You gotta go a whole bunch of them Uh, I'm repeating crossbows, man Oh, yeah, yeah, Jesus the the tools that the props the items the technology It's such a fun little play on all this like monster hunting gear, but also just cranked up fair reminder Reminder that the CGI, um Is 2004 so, you know It holds some of it does hold up fairly well. Yeah, some of it's kind of oh, it's kind of Yeah, Jacqueline hides werewolves vampires Dracula Dracula's brides fucking frankenstein obviously Yeah, well it starts off. I mean it pays it pays I don't want to say it doesn't pay homage to fucking anything But it has all these things in it It has all these things in it. Well, if there was like any homage that it pays it would be the opening scene So universal logo turns into black and white universal ball logo But it it it starts off setting this story up where it's got black and white Dr. Frankenstein All the the the angry mob with the torches is banging down on the castle Because they're very upset that he's I don't know ruining the reputation of their town or whatever Grave robin and them Oh, you know, well, I mean that would do what I said Um, what do you mean ruining the reputation of the town the fuck you talk about? Oh, that's the town with the grave robber in it. I don't want to go there No, they want him because he's disrespecting the dead pulling their parts out which would ruin the image of their town I think you're both right. We were arguing Yeah, I don't know why I don't know why maulers Why would that be really really strange? It's just not because they're ruining the reputation. This is a hot fuzz It's so obvious what they what it does to the Yes, they are concerned with how people town economy really real estate value Who's gonna come and live here, you know Exactly, I don't end up in who the fuck not only who's gonna live here We certainly want to don't want to die here because you're gonna get grave rob Hey, please well with we watched gerald's game relatively recently there's a grave robber in that and then he gets There is unfortunately Black wide opening van helsing you've got frankenstein lifting up the monster to the sky and it gets zapped by the lightning The angry mobs pounding on the door. You have dracula who is played by I didn't figure out who plays him because he's super His mannerisms and his voice are very stereotypical of Having a ball That actor's having so much fun. Yeah, it's great. It's great if One of the things that that makes this film. I think uh relatable to people who haven't seen it Is it's from the guy from the mummy? Yeah And it's so the mummy Yes, it's weird mashup of things The oh the main goal seems to be you know what let's have some fun And it is it's super fun And yeah, he's um, he's going with it. He is a very specific kind of dracula Also, um dracula was played by richard roxburg Richard roxburg. Like I said, he's in mission impossible too League of story gentlemen, and that is it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was looking at the fucking game like an idiot Oh I don't know what his actual active name is Hold on a minute I'm working on it because the van helsing has been used by several movies in the past and it's fucking it's i'm so done with it I do like that like the og van helsing is just like this old man doctor um, and it's just like they're like Like what they do with them with this movie this it really is like somebody just read a bunch of or watched a bunch of universal Monster movies and then wrote up a fan fiction that this is the result but it's like It's actually it's it's fucking good. But in that sort of like popcorn film way It's just it's extremely enjoyable. It has everything. It has Vampire fights vampires bride fights vampires baby fights. It has werewolf fights fire baby loading Horse carriage chase scenes through the woods less The Frankenstein Egor faramia battle on the bridge with cables the cables Lines it's got comedy relief. It's got this weird spooky just like legends and curses and There's a sexy with a monk. It's great. It's got everything. Yeah, there's a sex scene with a monk. You're right So it literally was actually played by Richard Rocksburg So he actually played himself in the game as well, which I haven't actually played but okay It's funny. It's funny though because it doesn't look at anything like him. You can tell he wore a wig for the role but you know Oh, yeah He's doing something with that movie. He obviously had fun Uh, vampire monster. Yeah That um that that cable scene I'm just gonna play it in the background So good. Yeah, so this there will be e-fap movies for this movie. Eventually. It's uh Coming to theaters do you as per usual but uh until then Just have to show you snippets of that scene chat If you don't if you haven't seen the film you don't remember it. I didn't really remember that shit. It's amazing I guess I did see bits and pieces of this movie, but I remember the werewolf uh fight scene between he and Dracula. Um, so So on on the e-fap screen on our logo, we have our we have our little ghost We have a little ghost down there. That's basically that that was our face There he goes Yeah, I have to play the bits because I copyright but like the idea is Frankenstein gets blasted off of the fucking machine That's zapping him and until like the edge of the cliff then he slips off it and falls until he grabs a wire and swings on it Fucking Georgia the jungle And manages somehow to like keep falling and keep grabbing the meanwhile I guess we should introduce. Yeah, pharomy is in this movie, but he's playing the opposite of pharomy kind of He's this is amazing Squeamish little monkman who's trying to help out van Helsing but given he's given the law and the tools that sees like the medieval He's like james bonds m Uh, it's cute. Uh, yeah, totally. It's totally that though. Yeah, I'm for sure One of the scenes right after we have van helzing in van helzing introduction or he's fighting, uh, mr. Hyde Uh in notre dame because there's there's a doc. There's a mr. Hyde fight at notre dame in this Uh, it was just because he does everything um And then they go he goes back to the vatican And he's got the they've got all of the the super gadgets and gizmo that they use to fight forces of evil and everything like that Really great He's got that kind of kind of got that little james bond adventure vibe to it where he gets his whole Butter and his weird light grenade and his automatic crossbow That's the coolest thing in the whole movie and they need to make it. It's like a thousand arrows in one drum Do bring the equipment back in one piece van helsing So yeah, igor is chasing faramio with That he just gets hit by the cable and flings off the bridge It's so good So I first said this on the on the recording my favorite detail is the the camera shows him falling and he's like, oh, no He continues to zap the machine like what it's pulling trigger like well may as well So good He's evil for like no fucking reason. He's just a dirty little like Have a little bit of a reason in there. Um, they they have the whole, you know, why why are you so evil? Why are you such a bad person? Why why are you torturing that, you know, that yeah, why are you torturing that animal? Is what Yeah, yeah, it's my job I love that line so much. He like he like fucking he literally gives dracula pause. He's like jesus He's only wrong with him Yeah, because he's isn't he like in that scene. He's just torturing for no reason Yeah, he's just sappy and a werewolf for no fucking reason. He's like, why are you doing that? It's wonderful that dracula is curious So why he's being an asshole Why are you fucking being an asshole to our werewolf? It's such a good character moment. I love it Yeah, as if that just makes up for is what I do Very self-aware we mentioned the the weird Jawa sort of opalumpa characters who He walks they just a little tusken raiders the thing we see the most commonly do is jump into the acid pool There's this one guy on this goofy little pulley like the whole movie he's going back and forth on this pulley system And then eventually the pulley gets cut and he falls into acid Yeah, dracula's dracula's minions in the the science lab exist only to fall in the path of bats and to get fire At almost every time they show like dracula's little abolisher, it'll open with one of them scooting across the little wire I was I was endeared by his character. I must say Oh, they're so great. Those little dudes. They're just So many of them die And they don't explain it. Oh, they just kill them. They're just the odds. They're just there One of them is pulling this like giant crane or it's like this this He's he's pulling this thing that goes in circles And I feel like he's too short to pull it all the way up But it's like the camera cuts before he has to like, yeah Oh, there it is. So this is one of the scenes that opens the lab. But there he is. He's just scooting. He's just Nobody knows what he's doing I I believe that of all like I think they're all evil bastards, but that one has a wife and kids back at it Like a mind. He's definitely a good guy He's a good one It's really sad actually, right? It's just let me look at look at this set. Look at all of it. I That's so true though arcs and the little the machines and the equipment Like you could see why so much money went into this they Every penny And you don't really I I feel like you don't see this in films as much anymore Like these fucking giant extravagant sets and stuff like it would be a green screen and they saw it out later Yeah, exactly. And we look all clean and shit And now we watch somebody talk bad about this movie. I don't know this was fun for me in particular Darkness falls I had seen a long time ago as a kid But I had never seen ven Helsing up until now I watched it for this And I had always avoided it because I thought it was going to It looked fun, but I thought it would be like boring schlock. You got to be careful with schlock sometimes. Yeah, yeah but uh I watched this and I was caught off guard by how much I was enjoying it. I'm like, I'm going with this This is great. Like I like the characters the actors the opening scene was so Ridiculously over the top just like the whole Rest of the movie all the stuff with Dracula is so fucking funny another scene Just hit play we'll see another scootin, dude Is so fucking good in this movie. Oh, yeah He brings such a dignity and heart to that character I think he does the character on Broadway like he works with mel brooks. He plays young frankenstein on a bunch of productions I guess he just brought that same energy to this movie I was gonna say despite how shit the movie is at parts like he brought just he was such a force He made that character. Yeah, he does the tragic elements of frankenstein really well I'm just gonna say he has such an uncanny resemblance to mel brooks young frankenstein frankenstein's monster Who's like yeah, probably him And it's just like and he's got this like he's got this heavy like what is it vibrato? I might be getting it wrong, but it's just like he like he sings when he fucking screams and shit It's such kind of uh classic sort of just vocal I don't even know what to really call it. I guess yeah, your vibrato is probably a good way to say it when he talks So you can just hear his voice kind of Bellow Yeah, yeah It's a great way of like showing that he has some brains that he's not just a monster in a way like he's he's like somehow like Like theater train In a way it sort of is an attempt to reclaim the character because in originally in mary shelly's frankenstein frankenstein's monster was supposed to be an intelligent sophisticated kind of Guy which contrasted with his appearance. That was kind of the whole point, but over time he got Turned into this evil monster who was you know stupid and idiotic and The case was always that he was misunderstood. I thought that was like his whole thing Yeah, but yeah, that was a weird representation of how like Like an actual kind of monster who you know So this a ghoul kind of yeah I got um, I'm gonna throw up that bit where he kills a bride in the town. Um The CGI on it is uh, it's something else Oh, it was the first time we were like, oof Yeah, that's a part they should have spent a bit more time on Because I I don't I'm not sure how they would have done it. I guess tried to map over a um The CGI on top of whoever was actually pinned to this thing and it will go like really pinned but It's it's seen as hilarious her screaming Also, it's all glitched up because of vlc and make it look even worse Oh, look at that the the scale of the plot looks like the cartoon But uh, yeah, that that seems interesting. There's this this fucking gag with how they grab a cow Getting of this fight uh with the brides in the village There's a part where one of them just just because they're evil bastards one of them Randomly grabs a cow and throws it into a heart and you would assume that if this was another movie Obviously that cow is fucking dead that cow steak but Luckily at the end of the fight for no reason It it lets us know that the cow is okay because it's just sitting in the balcony and Totally unaware. It's just like The cow is okay. Do we know? A bit of a theme with that like there was this effort to let you know that the animals were okay throughout the movie Yeah, like if ever they were to see it's like they're fine We had such a great time knowing that the cow is all right. Yeah All right, do you remember I'm I'm sure that this bit was fucking funny was she uh, okay So the what was the girl's character's name? I forgot Oh What her name is so she's getting grabbed by a Dracula bride and She gets a knife from her like, you know, leg and cuts the bride's uh leg to fall But then another bride picks her up and it's like, ah, damn it But but the way she was falling she would have cracked her head after like I made in the uh when we were watching it. I was like, oh, so she would have just died They saved her That fuck they saved it Oh, it looks so funny because she's like, ah, I'm such a badass, but she literally would have smacked her head on the fucking grind I like they do that. They're like, whoa, why are you trying to kill yourself? Luckily rather fucking die I'm trying to find the cow bit. I think it's that they grab a cow on accidents. They're trying to get van Helsing You think so? I don't know. They do seem Fucking up the cow As if this alien suffered enough So how come they didn't make a sequel for this then if it did well or did well? I don't know I guess I didn't do well enough. Yeah Without spoiling it. They do wrap everything pretty neatly at the end. Yeah, there's even people in in the sky Jojo ending Smile at van Helsing Yeah, if you're okay, I'll show it uh in a sec But basically like the girl dies and she's reunited with her family. I guess In the afterlife and he bids a thing a pie effort. It's like, no, we were all so caught off guard. She disappears in the sky We made a joke that oh Yeah VLC fucking up can create some some images No, they're both cloud people It wasn't supposed to be like this No, I got even worse This is good. It's that is true Uh, but yeah, you know, you just you know, she's safe. That's the important part in the clouds. Yep There's a lot of flawed execution. It's a shame But like on an archetypal level actually quite like what this movie does narratively with like like, you know You hunt monsters you become a monster in the process and then that's like a literal thing with like the werewolf transformation Frankenstein's there to kind of he's he's got the same dilemma but like The inverse of van Helsing's case where like he's a monster in the outside But a kind soul, but then you have van Helsing who's like a pretty boy But like wrestling with this monstrosity Within him literally with like the werewolf thing at the end And then you have the monster fight and then the fact that she dies in the end is It's a good payoff to that archetype of like Integrating the monster and then the price of that which is sometimes losing the thing closest to you, right? Yeah, so that's why I the Ending really worked for me like when she was burning but then like the you see in the face of the clouds It's like oh my god It's a bittersweet kind of ending like I've I've died, but I'm least with I'm with my ancestors My family I'm here with my cloud people Yeah Something we had a hard time letting go was the fact that this gal anna has been thrown around on stone and And being wrestled by ghouls all this time and then the werewolf plonks are on a couch Yeah It is weird to say the least that she like guys She gets fucking batted up in this film all over the place And it to me it's it's it comes across as like the I guess the straw that broke the cow's back Her bones were just inches away from breaking and he just There's a piece of like bone shard in her skull that was just like a little it just needed a little push It was loose, but uh the couch bounce just did it Couch and the upholstery was just stiff enough Very very firm Bridal style I wish I I wish a werewolf would throw me onto a couch I was waiting I got um, so you know efap.me. They've finished. I do. Yeah the set of spooktober Let's say things um Did you see the last uh number 35? Oh, I did. I sure did. Oh, I did not actually I didn't see it amazing. It is it is amazing So, well, I guess I can try and go through them actually For the for the gills and boys at home You got um, I'm day one I got the the the avatar from last year and um the weapons I got both from the buffy vis is pretty sweet Yeah, boy, you got um vampire rags Oh, wow, we're I'm sorry. I'm seeing 31 Fringy well fringelstein J long bonus pat woman Ylvis babyfaces dr. Frankenferter Um, that's bullshit is char with a char more. How do I go to the next page? Dude, that's that's actually insane because like as I was Understanding, they were just like a little 2d model like made or something But he actually papercrafted every single one of these. Yeah, these looks good. I don't know that that's incredible, dude You got cry more as freddy kruger Yes Internet story and it's handle lexer, which is oddly suitable on us Metal is counter metal Blessed pipe, but it's chucky. That is another spooky choice Jay's a zombie Mark, it's a demonic rat. I think that yeah, it makes sense. Oh, and he's got matilda nice Uh, shadowverse tears frankenstein's monster and he's got his version of the master sword That's 14. Let's get to 15 There we go That's so good. Jay says penny wise The buster sword cynic snacks is rotten pizza and he's got a pizza slice or as a weapon Oh my god The starless girl is sally Night before christmas. Good shit Literature devil is satan. It only makes sense and he's got a trident We get warrior as mummy Tone low cause the white samoury, which again perfect choice. Nidroddick is dr. Yosef Haider the jockey crop Fucking noice Two would be the next one. How are you? Southpaw's Jason Voorhees I love that everything about this site is so cool. Like just the way it works CJ's Goliath Morningstar gregel drinker is beetle juice. Noice Tony references. He was Buffy Summers Glibbershawn Appabender's two-face Smiler Owl's mouth of Sauron again. Only lines up Then we come to the last election It was 29 I mean my number spotting powers are just not that good, you know, there it is Well er is jack skeleton, which is it's like the invader's face pretty deep That's good. Mola is boopa And then of course the last one spooktober rags as glad rags equipped with five werewolves He looks oddly satisfied. Oh my goodness. It's so great. Yeah It looks so good Yeah, that's um, very impressive. That's all from kiva kens. Thank you so much their, uh, roles. Yeah, thank you. That's incredible Full collection You know the um, was it last time it was uh, a sort of A set of like us as our avatars and this has been the spook set so, uh Um, I suppose if we all have very different christmas outfits, we could do a christmas set at some point Maybe who knows I wouldn't want it because this is take a fucking shit ton of work. So again Oh, yeah, tons of it kiva kens. You're one talented motherfucker. I don't think you've been told that enough yet So here it is again. Yeah It's so many stuff Say it again motherfucker. Yeah Just glad right I wasn't expecting that for 35 So anyway van Helsing Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am extremely fun So I was like the opening scene was to capture that uh, that that theme you were just bringing up there Do you know what I mean because uh, obviously he defeats uh, mr. Hyde, but it Reforms as mr. Dr. Jackal and then everyone's like But it was amusing to me because I think we put it out in the recording We're like, wasn't he like wanted for medi murders or whatever? So surely people would know like he's hunting him down for a reason Right, that's just what van Helsing does. He just finds old innocent men and throws them from the top of churches Maybe they saw him shrink and they felt bad for him. They're like, oh, he's like, uh, he used to be big and strong and now look at him He's so weak. Damn you van Helsing. Thank you Everything they said about you was correct I See the logs because pg-13 or something It's I'm assuming is the writing um, but he's just lying on the sofa. Also. Look at the thing It's got like a spine bones on either side of it Oh another great detail because it's yeah, it's because it's a couch in his cat and Dracula's castle So of course It's got to have some spooky to it. Yeah, she kind of died. I think he broke it back. I don't know You can't you can't die ugly as like the hot female lead Yeah She just she died of a broken heart is what happened They do the the veda know as well Yeah, this would have been wait. This would have been like just after that had come out because that was 2003, right? Well, 2000 Five actually was before yeah, he did it before yeah, he starts he starts howling and then he transforms back into van Helsing while still You know lamenting her her Her just mysterious death In case you were wondering what that howl meant they translated it for you I like I like the idea that he he melts back into him is still Still staying it. I like that He knew He knew when he died on the couch If only he said it in a whisper scream, I would Stuff that doesn't happen a lot in in movies these days just your standard Set up payoffs and mini arcs and even little little faramia Goes on his little like like he's he's with the order and they've told him that they have to kill frankenstein I think the reasoning is that he's just not human right or she doesn't count as human And then he ends up saving his life. It's like oh he does. Yeah, even little mini little mini arc It's like a little little macaroni. Yeah, so many one You're supposed to die. No, uh, okay. All right. I'm fine Um jay wants me to tell the people that there are military records of two men named charles sport and wolden sport He's out there Yeah, he's Fighting fighting for glory. That's what spot's doing inspirational um Yeah, there's there's a couple of weird things throughout the film in terms of plot But I thought the one was funny was they want to go and sort of do the um the trade off The quote-unquote trade off at each side is trying to trap the other and they think we'll lock frankenstein in a graveyard We'll put a cross in front of his door I'm not sure what that was for because it wouldn't stop him from moving it and it also Like if someone saw that I feel like it would actually alert them They'd be like, oh, there's someone's trying to stop someone. I'm gonna either way Um, this the seed ends with like a cabra padding to like a grave being lifted up at a zombie head come It out of it. It's like is the implication that zombies work for Dracula, I guess Yeah, I guess so Yeah, I guess he commands the death Oh, yeah I remember thinking that was a cool setup, but then they didn't really do anything with the The zombies. Yeah, they just sort of wanted the plot to progress really I think it's just reasoning for how frankenstein was found Because the dead like hey, why is there a frankenstein? right um Maybe it was just frankenstein being bullied by the other dead people because he's like sort of alive still but not really but kind of and the other dead people are like man, you're just like You know, it's like a mulatto, but for zombies James said he stays loyal to van Helsing and doesn't tell the order. He's a werewolf too It's like that does happen, but I mean by the end of the movie. He's not a werewolf, right? So it's all good Yeah, he gets cured. Yeah Because because the cure for vamp or for for lycanthropy is inside of this. It's great. It's fucking great Everything about this one's great So it's in this this chamber This intricate chamber and it's in this glass that's full of acid That's so good I'm trying to get a shot of it acid glass. Yeah, it's so fucking indiana jones like Oh Gotta get that Yeah, it's just an idea jar of acid And like faramir's little grenade that he he didn't know what it was gonna do Oh, you know what? Yeah, just just one thing before that because we can just go on to the subject of tools. What is with the peen snipper? Yeah, he just I Igor just because he's just a terrible person randomly carries around a penis Slicer Just walking around is like There's this moment where he like he starts asking a question or something then she just she just like tweezers it and he's like, oh Like is it like don't speak or I'll chop your penis off Cut off your dick Igor Not choppy the pee pee I would think Igor is either already castrated or has a micro penis anyway He's probably white He's just a frustrated guy, you know But yeah, I put it out in the thing but he's the actor who plays him you can recognize him from the voice He's he's benny in the in the mummy Yeah, I laughed out loud when I saw that almost the exact same character I love benny in the mummy. Yeah, he's great and it's just like he always plays weasel characters. I guess and I wonder how that would feel to be typecast as a piece of shit I fucking love it actually I think it'll be fun because you're just playing a character even if people on the street are like you're that piece of shit I mean like it's not real like they're they're more on Yeah, I had to take a personality test before they let me play the asshole in movie Access to me pretty sure um Chris Pratt when in infinity wall came out everyone was pissed at him for getting in the way of stopping panors He was like, uh, it's a film I was talking about that a while ago. They're like the the people who got so fucking upset at the guy who played joffery Uh from game of thrones like the actor. He's retired now. Literally just because like Really? Oh good. I hope so because The guy got like fucking harassed in the real world by people because they just hated his character so much But it's like shouldn't that be a compliment if he if this character pisses you off It gets under your skin. That's a compliment to the actor. They're doing their their job. That's the point Like he did great in that role. That makes me sad here. I'm not kind of shit Like just doesn't incentivize as good performances People see him in the show and they go like that kid must be a real life sociopath or something And then they like they go up to him and like yay. Fuck you like for the red wedding Yeah, if ever you're annoyed at like something the character's done or said it's like why the actor would be the writer You should be annoyed with yeah So what the fuck the actor's just the mouthpiece like they do their best to represent the script I mean, you know on occasion they'll be like you I should say this line in this scene So unless you know that for sure it's a weird Weird anger they simply must have to fathom how fucking little thought you have to put into like I do want to think like the action is just showing up and making this shit up Yeah, well that's the thing It's like there's so many people that just have a really hard time distinguishing fantasy from reality And it's just kind of unfathomable to us, but Yeah, it's true Do you remember there's so many little bits in this film and I think it ties in with the whole Kate Blanchett getting By the way, is her name Kate back in sale? That's the one she gets like hit over and over again But this is one bit where um She wants to get a torch to fight Bride of Dracula and uh, it's so small just happened so quickly. I'm gonna try to show it Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know exactly what you're sounding about. She just does the Gravity is selective in in this film Great, it's like I have I have acquired the torch The red just goes like and it's gone Yeah, I actually quite like that. Shit. I should show that damn. I don't have to find the scene again But uh, it's the issue Yeah, the uh Because there's another time as well But I kind of want to find the werewolf the first werewolf fight We're like the box is rising up and it just like tags her foot if you remember And she does this fucking ridiculous ass flip and lands on her feet. It's like, what the hell? Okay, I've got it right in the beginning So as you can see her foot is just a little over the ledge the box hits it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, and I'm good She's very nimble. It's true In reality, they're just like break her toes like I remember that was so great They just established can ride off the bat that this chick He knows their way around the gravity big agileisms Yeah You know the scene where he transforms into the werewolf in the castle and like gravity gets applied to him sideways for some reason Yeah, he just walks up the pillar. Yeah because he's He's Dracula and he'll just walk up a pillar See for some reason in my head, I was like make sense for Dracula, but not the werewolves In that library, no the arsenal like the yeah, yeah, yeah on the wall that he turns and it's like Like dude, you're still on the wall. What do you do it? Yes when um 25th It's after van Helsing gives you the fucking uh Spooky dust sleep juice whatever it is It's literally never brought up as far as I remember we were all waiting for it Yeah, we were That was a f**ked up thing to do. Oh, yeah, here we go So this scene he starts turning into a will and I think for the cool factor He like slaps onto the wall with his hands and kind of drags himself up like okay Yeah, that's what I was talking about. But then gravity just does not work anymore It So weird Well, you know what? Oh, yeah, because he's cursed. So he just does this wall thing Like I think that's just how that works, you know, would you turn it into a will for gravity? I wonder if he's thinking it's like no, he's still savable. He's still like On the wall Walk on walls now like it's fine It's pretty neat. What do you do? And then oh, he started skin off. Oh, no I like that though. It's great imagery of this the skin Yeah Imagine it in like an R-rated movie that s**t would look so f**king cool like a super super high CGI quality as well Yeah, well, it's like 2004 CGI even though it doesn't hold up It's kind of I like the decision to just show all of it with like all of its gory details Like the ripping off the skin and everything like that They could have easily just gone for the cost effective cut away and make a bunch of flimpy f**king Flesh noises and then cut back and oh s**t sexy doggo. And then it's like off you go But it's like I'm gonna be the greatest a sexy doggo Yeah But then exactly but then by showing him like convulsing and like having horrible times It's like oh, maybe this curse would kind of suck to have you know, maybe that's why it's called a curse and not just a super Yeah, exactly Do you remember when he reforms when he's in front of Dracula and he's like screaming we comment on that Oh, there's another you know what I'm doing this bit first So this bit how to send f**king stitches you go Dracula this scene is trying to be awesome. He's like I could hear your heart And um, van Helsing is like ba bang and he gets his crucifix in front. It's a retractable crucifix by the way So I want to explain this probably Dracula is now staring at like Oh, you think you're so He goes from zero to a hundred back to zero again, it's so Um, yeah He's not happy And uh It's a weird scene because I think he's trying to be like, yeah, f**k you, but we're all just like you okay He just kind of tosses it apart and then he's all like, okay, are you done? Are you done with this bit? Okay I don't think it was a I don't think Dracula was doing a bit. I think it did hurt him, but he was just more powerful than Dracula burns his hand and then he throws it aside. It's like, okay. We're done with that. All right Don't be a f**king dick then Helsing. Yeah, like even though it hit that much He can overcome it so quickly though I think his other things have been more impressive than that because crucifix you can get a lot of them I wonder if you trapped him in a box of crucifixes. Yeah Box of crucifixes crucify crucifi crucifi What was that? Oh, yeah So I'm looking for when because there's something funny when when the wills is transporting back and he's There's like a little goblin person working on something right next to him As if he doesn't give a f**k while the wolf is like right next to him screaming while while converting back Yeah, they were just walking around. Um, I guess no one told the midget actors that in in that scene in cgi They were gonna add in this screaming transforming writhing Werewolves there You could say they see that s**t all day long. It's like, oh, it's another way. Oh, yeah Yeah, they watched her co-workers and themselves constantly calling the bats have asked him to catch fire Nothing fazes him at this point. It's what their existence is. It's dying after tooling away at this willed Yeah, I'm trying I really I really do appreciate that they don't cut away constantly like They they showed like that entire camera shot one camera shot of the werewolf jumping around on s**t landing Transforming here's Dracula doing his thing. They didn't cut away from any of that. They all just kept it in the frame. It's like, yeah Yeah, this is the check goblin person, right? So he's he's working on. He's just to the right doing a lever pull Scheduled to keep here it's it with a newspaper. Stop that s**t Well, you're going into the essence So many that I need to find that shot. Isn't there like two of them that fall in the acid at one point in this film? There's I think there's three Because the because the only reason that the random just big tub of acid is there It's just so that these poor minions can fall into it and turn the phone It was built for them. It was we were trying to figure out what the f**k the point of it is And this is like it just kills them The closest thing is like maybe making acid traps around the f**king castle, but I mean like I mean that's the acid trap. It's for the people who work there Horrible terrible trap for the people who work Maybe it's failed little minion goblin blood because like whenever they die they pop into green Maybe it's maybe it's like I don't know a pool of failure There's a shot that follows van Helsing down as he falls and we just we laddod a minion try to climb a ladder Oh, who be okay? And then suddenly boom F**kers on fire This is just not there for we can't stress it enough. They're just there to catch on fire and follow the acid Oh, no This poor guy It is actually priceless how they just they exist to be killed So this is what will run his chocolate factor would be like if osha didn't exist Yeah All right, this one's the best one. Okay. It's gonna be hard to play again because of copyright So it's it's a different we're playing a different scene everything's going normal. It's like, oh my god Frank and frankentism is gonna try and help it. Oh cut to that You can see it in a sec I Don't know if that's the same one and he just stayed He's working overtime, you know Gotta pay those bills They people can say what they will about the dialogue and some of the execution But this is a well storyboarded movie. I think that's uh very creatively shot It's just there's so much in it. I don't know how else to say it. There's so much shit going on so much effort in all these different elements and Um, I don't know. I think it just it knew what tone it was going for and fucking went with it Oh, yeah, it's very it reminded you over and over again. It's all like dude. It's time to just have fun. All right Yeah there's a shot in the first opening scene where frankenstein's talking to dracula and then uh They play with eye lines where you think he's staring at dracula off-camera But then this trap door comes down and it reveals dracula standing right behind him and then frankenstein turns around to look at him Cheap efficient way of playing around with like dracula having super speed and Like that. It was just a very creative shot. I would like to see that sort of thing more even in the um Yeah, even in the uh the opening the black and white opening frankenstein is talking to dracula and in a scene or in a shot where it is just frankenstein talking we see Dracula just sort of appearing behind him and it visibly confuses frankenstein Like he can't figure out how the person he was just talking to in front of him Just like is now appearing suddenly behind him. He's confused and for the audience It's out of frame for us, but it's you know, it's yeah there. Yeah He's just sort of like wait what what I was looking at you Right. Yeah Yeah, I thought that's what john was talking about The chest what he slabs the chest out. I'm trying to get the uh, I've nearly oh, I thought it was like a wooden trap door I guess. Yeah, I guess it was a chest. Oh, yeah Here we go that he shuts. Oh and they do the thing they flash light it on it, but it shows his spooky face for a second I love it So good Yeah, so this is it. He's like over there just having a chat that would I assume Maybe that's a double Oh, it doesn't need to be a double because they cut so yeah Naturally, we're like, yep. Draco's over there because he must be looking at him and then oh, he's still over there. Yeah Fucking copyright. I wish I could just play it And then um, give you a nice little spook like spadoosh It does the thing dragon looking teleport. I think and I love that he looks back because he's like, there's no way you're over here Yes He's obviously just crouched down the whole time behind that for that shot like it's so Like it's such a creative way to shoot it and it costs nothing basically It's that little funny They they know what they're doing because they know that if if he was still in the shot for us It would make no sense for the movie which is confusing for the character. And it's just so great. Yeah So let's talk about that weird top hat wearing character Oh, yeah The grave. Yeah, he's digger Yeah, yeah grave digger. I guess grave digger. Yeah, so he's in um, he's in the opening He's one of the people who helps kill He's just it's such a weird little little character because he's like this Cytical asshole throughout all of it that he just randomly dies He's like, dude, I don't know about you guys. That's where the movie went full naked gun for me I think where he falls into the grave and then the hat falls onto the shovel and spins around. I'm like, holy He also just hangs out in one of his uh, caskets in a scene Yeah, oh, yeah, he's just kind of waiting in that casket for the guy to just show up He's like, no, I'm in a casket. All right time to dig this grave some more even if this ob's like crossed up to his shoulder Perfect size for you I was looking for an example and I found it. All right, here you go everyone This is Minion trying to go somewhere and and oh they grab it onto ropes and shit Dude, remember the dude the dude who just fucking jumps for it And he's just like I'm getting on this rope one way or another. They are so They're very they take their job very seriously Half their shift they really like love their job And so it's so funny this this idea where you've got tub of acid rope just above it But I want to stress right we see bones like come up out of it Yes, this is very very good. Look how close Igor is to this fucking thing He's just like oh well Like he's so used for the minions following it He should at least be splashed with a little of acid. It's like ah shit. Ah Oh, it's so funny. This this whole area. I just I want to leave all this all that's left is just bones I want to believe the only purpose it has is to kill them. That's just yeah We never see the acid that used for anything other than minion death All right, I'm trying to find that. Yeah, there it is. Okay, so he's like taunting van Helsing This is a fucking great moment where he goes to like hit him on the back of the head with a shovel I'm not even sure why like he just wants to then uh Like he's like really confident that just van Helsing pulls a fucking gun on him He's like, oh shit. I kind of remember what he says, but uh, I think it's please don't or something But don't even know why he wants to kill him so much I guess he's a traitor of some kind I guess so or uh Dead people are good for business. I guess but why would you like why of all the people the most dangerous motherfucker in the Doesn't even have van Helsing have a bounty on his head. Oh, maybe at the beginning So he gets tackled he falls into a grave dead the shovel lands with his hat spitting on top of He gets fucked up. Dude, he gets heated. That's so ridiculous It's so perfect It's such a satisfying death this this guy this he's he's been an asshole from the start just from the very fucking beginning Die the same way Kate Beckinsale did Oh, yeah He looks like a haggard old pile of bones. It probably wouldn't take much to kill him and it didn't so Yeah, I think he says oh, sorry This is clearly my mistake, but I just did there Yeah, really amusing the whole movie is Charming even like when they're just going through what's the fucking like the queue scene where he's going through different technologies And it's just like he just fucking throws some liquid on the ground explodes Like your glycerin. Yeah, which is from diehard did the third diehard movie I don't know if you guys saw that one, but like the explosive liquid They like they have a guy like a forensics guy or something comes into the office to demonstrate the threat They're dealing with and he does that exact thing where they throw like this Explosive liquid on the ground and it blows up and in that scene there's they have that because this movie is funny But there's when he throws it on the ground it blows up you hear this There's like Arabian guy's voice in the back Like what the hell is he doing? So good So the biggest plot hole I can think of that disturbed the hell out of me and ranks was He opens up the steak to show van Helsing and then he puts it into the bag steak first Just a bag with a random silver Point Like it's just a sack. He's just throwing all the gadgets into a sack. You don't need all these look at all these retractable crosses I want one I like I like what the hell makes phase after you just put it in there Oh, yeah, so this was a weird part This is like the minigun over there van Helsing's like, oh, shit. Yeah, I've about minigun and then uh Doesn't he say like he is the scene gives off the impression the van Helsing doesn't know how vampires are killed Like he has to yeah, he's explaining Vampires like gargoyles and warlocks and like he should know this like this is all He should absolutely know at this point. Chad Helsing would obviously know Undoubtedly And he comes with him Many of those crosses Do you remember the the CGI painting that has a battle in it? Oh my god He wouldn't have gotten if he didn't decide to fuck some gal he saved Naturally, that was the only person who gets laid in this is him True and he's he's also chad In admiration of his lay he trips that like convenient secret torch that The painting that's conveniently fully animated to foreshadow the the final conflict sick technology at that time Yeah, because you'd think it would be enough that they would just have it be some kind of secret Thing that he reads and we understand but no it fucking flips out because they've actually turned into actually like a full-on Dracula where we'll fight don't they the knights? I'm trying to get the scene up for you I don't know where all of them are right you gotta appreciate the shit piece by piece Oh, yeah, there you go. It just starts moving. You're like wait, what? What is doing this? You know, it's it's a nice smooth little animation I have the guy who made it must have put a lot of work in there that monk who made it all those centuries ago Yeah Frame by frame By hand, yeah Um So, yeah, uh, I don't know what else there is to say about the carriage scene Um It reminded me of that family guy bit where he's racing the amish guy And his wagon falls off the road and the wagon explodes then it pans over to the horse and the horse explodes It's it is fucking nuts this scene like it's Yeah, they just try to I don't understand So the whole time it was a decoy carriage that they went after not the real one Even though the real one was like meters away on a different like parallel road Right. It's so weird Well, yeah, because there could there in it as well. I don't know. Um But uh, oh and of course his grenade turned out. That's what I was saying was retarded about it It's like it's the perfect grenade ever it'll it'll just erase any vampire with the disc Hopefully don't it'll erase them spider-man one style from the green goblin Yeah, the fucking oh my god. I love that fucking gig It's just skeletons people Yep Yeah, I don't know anything else you guys want to say about that What I find funny Yeah, it's it's fun, but it's like it's kind of at the same time I have to wonder if this was kind of bog standard for 2004 at the time Because there's been I've been kind of like paying attention to the chat every known again And a lot of people are just kind of mixed on the whole thing And I feel like maybe this was a very standard move for 2004 But nowadays with movies just so fucking focused grouped and sterile and efficient and everything like that no risks It's like we kind of appreciate what we used to have And like I love the good factor of it. It's Pretty much and I do like I think I mentioned it in the recording But I do remember there being conversations being like oh, they've ruined frankenstein and they just don't like the Sort of this depiction of the movie monsters like it's too goofy But that actor is so fucking good. This is one of my favorite frankensteins. I think ever Yeah, he's awesome. Um, but you know different different people different feels about this whole thing I just remember fucking Like like it was totally easily a Fun little edgy movie with lots of shit happened in it. Yeah, Halloweeny one They clearly were Like it comes across as a a really fun movie that they enjoyed making that just wanted to be Exactly what it turned out to be Oh, yeah, gallus gallus. It's flawed to hell It's like we're not we're not denying that whatsoever But it's just we kind of just forgive it. We forgive it for what it gives us in return If someone wants to do a Takedown of continuity within this thing. They are welcome to you can I'm not going to watch it because I don't care But you can if you want to Yes, this the start of universal reviving their monster universe. I think it was they keep trying every few years That's the key this is the one That I've seen that it's like a universe film like like the avengers of this universe would be this film where they've all Comboed up. They're all in it and it's just the first one because they're just having fun They had no intention of making a sequel by the looks of things at least with how it ends van helsting the gadgets You've got the hq under the Vatican. You've got the comic relief characters. You've got the good monsters bad monsters Isn't there a we're not so different you and I seen between director. Yes Obligatory we're not so different you and I it's so great Yeah, so what do you say today was to actually check out someone reviewing it Can you believe yeah the main event main event? We haven't done Like people have been asking for themselves critic for quite a while now and we it's zit Doesn't think oh, is this is that who we're covering that is who we are covering on Um, because I think he put out like the review It was like the time he put it out that everyone was like you should cover it I don't remember what the motivation was other than just someone's covering van helsting. Who does that? Mm-hmm In a negative, yeah, it was what it was it was october 17th two years ago Only one critic is so bold The thumbnails a little uh I don't have to give me a sack. I'll get it up on screen as well. Oh, I'm sure it's really good I love his thumbnails. It's always hot nudge Oh He's trying to make his face blue. He's done that before but why would he make himself a bride of dracula? Why is he a bride? Yeah, that's my That's so good Whatever wicks I suppose Yeah, here's a link everyone jump right on in We can't force me to I don't think any of us watch nostalgia critic. That's it gonna be a gas I'm gonna put out. No, I don't know. I don't I don't like him or anything, but I just don't watch him now. I haven't watched him in a really long time I see his thumbnails every now and again of the recommended, but I haven't I'll say this like uh ever since he started trying to do the whole um Like so he he quit the whole nostalgic critic character for a while and then he did the um demo reel stuff Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, so but everything posts that he still wants his cake and to eat it too So he does nostalgia critic, but he tries his absolute fucking hardest to just do skits with his friends It's like he always does skits with it by himself But now he's like I have to get the cast together every single time I think that's what like I don't like about his newer videos. It's just it's just I don't like his skits. Yeah, that's it And he can be okay if they're trying to make some kind of a point They can be fine But they're never like they're never good the never of high skill high craft I feel I feel the reviews are excused just to make a skit really Why does dug always look like a he's excited to be a rapist? Wow Um, so yeah, like I got I have no idea what we're in for this could be a good review for all I know I've not seen any of it. It's just so many people want to see those He does look like the kind of person who doesn't call it a kidnapping. He calls it a surprise adoption Does he call the rape of fear flash? This would be my very first nostalgia critic You've never seen him. I've never seen anything from wow. You're you are in for a treat. I mean, I watched a whole bunch Back in I want to say like 2000 whenever it started like super. Yeah So it feels like it was fucking early 2000s gotta be it could be late 2000s. I really it's hard to remember the timeline, but um Like all the chat all the chatter for the stuff Yeah, the the nostalgia critic cinematic universe And I think similar to a lot of people you'd you'd watch him You'd watch spoonie Oh good old spoonie Whatever happened to that guy there's like a subreddit for spooty that just logged his every Everything that he ever does because the spooty watch sort of thing like where is he? What's he doing? Like is he alive still? Yeah, yeah, I'm so this is subscribed to this channel. There's like always like the odd stream He does and I was like, oh, right. He's alive. He's alive. You know, he's got that loaded gun on the nightstand and Bayless Yeah, film brain. Oh, yeah, we might be covering film brain today, too. We did a darkness fools video Oh Yeah, so In for a ride, but yeah, so I remember that and I remember like checking them all out here in there Bits and bobs and then I think as time went on the site got filled with like creators and eventually it was just sort of Off-putting in terms of just What is that? And then you'd like you just have a few left of who you actually play attention to and then I think Blip was what they used and that went down and so they all moved over to youtube and that site I don't even know if that site exists in in terms of video hosting. I think it just has links Embedded from youtube Blip I've never heard. Yeah blip blip tv. You never heard of blip blip. No, you guys are both older than me I know I don't I don't first. I'm hearing about this. This is before youtube was I think no, no, no, no, no during during It was trying to compete with youtube. I think the blip didn't survive. Hey anybody remember we game I remember the we And a we game Because you know on account of all the water and tea that I drink I was gonna say the reason they used blip tv was uh because YouTube's copyright laws were really fucked back in the day and like you literally just couldn't upload Like reviews half the time and they were just getting pummeled in terms of like either them getting taken down or You can't run any ads on this like you can't make a dime Off of these these videos. So they went to blip because And the the thing is like Like nostalgia critic kind of like spearheaded this whole thing and he sort of like did it as like We're doing it as protest against youtube and like, you know, but it was really just a money making Like thing that that's purely it. It wasn't like For any really like I don't know good reasons other than just money making But they sold it ads like We're gonna defy. You know, it's david and goliath and everything. We're going up against them So Because this this this video is apparently a half an hour. So it makes me worry that we'll actually be able to do this before Oh, yeah, so for anyone watching the plan today is to watch efap live with a podcast talking about silly halloween movies until 12 midnight my time. So it's how long is that now? We've been streaming for what? I'm gonna I'm gonna have to head out in three hours. I'll be gone for two hours. Jesus Oh my god, we've been talking about van helsing. It's so great. Hey everyone watch van helsing Oh, yeah, I'll be gone for two hours in three hours, and then I'll be back Uh, gonna do some halloween stuff, you know We might not be able to make it to darkness falls at all So is it worthwhile just doing the nostalgic video and then just talking about darkness falls for a little bit at the end? Maybe I don't know. I guess so I guess we'll see because for all we know This could actually be a review that we completely agree with and we have nothing to say Maybe we don't know. Yeah, it could just be an annoyingly stated thing. We agree with What is he gonna say about van helsing? Which is his channel oftentimes That's kind of funny that I'm like, what could he possibly have to say about van helsing? That's a half an hour long, but then I'm like We've been talking about it You know 15 minutes of it is a skit. It's like he dresses up and then they do a thing Maybe if he does if if those go on too long, maybe we should just try and skip them. Like yeah, yeah, we could definitely implement that maybe We can we can spare our viewers the cringe. So we're just super chat. I would pay buddy to her the nostalgia critic Oh my god What's gonna happen in just about three hours from now just under that I'm going to pass The efab chat over to a good ol moopa. No mula who's gonna be premiering an efab movies called extra terrestrial Um, and then about once that's done about an hour later We will be back for efab gaming playing the new dark pitches little hope and that'll be with myself Mr. Metal John over there and literature devil. That's the five of us. At least that's I'm gonna get fucked up. It's gonna be great It came out literally yesterday. It's it's off. It's hot off the presses everyone. Who knows what'll happen off depresses Um, yeah, don't be a nostalgia critic Let him keep making these videos, you know a lot of people out there love them When he pretends to be a million views or so per video some I mean, he's still he's clearly got an audio I guess Um, I remember when you're looking for this uh video. I was just like, how is he doing these days? He's been doing like, um twilight Sorry, not twilight a twilight zone coverage Not twilight twilight would probably get him more views honestly, but like he's um The view count like his his fans do not want to listen to him talk about twilight, uh zone apparently Um, that's just how it goes like he's doing the episodes. Yeah It feels very neat But every time he brings out like a full nostalgia critic video, it seems like it does relatively well I don't know what what do you get? What's the ratio? Is it to try and get is it half your sub count? Is a good thing or is it? Oh, if you get half your sub count, that's generally really good he's getting about A fifth of his sub count maybe less on his isn't terrible considering The it's harder the long the more you go on generally the harder it gets. Yeah It's well, does that make pewdiepie like in an extremely bad position then he's he's in a whole different you can't even He's an adult believe he's kind of hot. Yeah You probably post a still image for 20 minutes and still gets two million views. I'm pretty sure he's done exactly that Like you can literally do whatever he wants. Yeah I mean, he doesn't even need to do it anymore. He said that himself like yeah, I just have fun doing it That's why I continue. It's not like I need it Is the person who does it for the money This is a guy who you know when he does a a minecraft let's play minecraft starts to trend on youtube again Like yes, yeah, and then everyone else plays it. It's a whole different thing He's an industry and off himself. I watched a whole series when he played that it was fun as fuck It was good sir. He's the only fucking minecraft. I've actually watched I remember he did a thing on tony hawk one of the tony hawks and it started to trend on the sales Again, like it was like a 10 year old game And it wasn't up to the top 10 again. Wasn't it skate skate three skate three. Yeah So like he does a video on it all of a sudden this 10 year old game starts to chart again Yeah, I think I think they level man. I think they pressed new yunus because Fucking madding, you know, I bet you that's why among us is popular again I bet that that that was like we're trying to wreck our brains or anybody else's brain Yes, I haven't no bulldog did it and then soda pot. I actually did a video about this So I can talk about it soda popping did it and then boom it just exploded like that Oh Good good to know. I mean it was kind of a bit of a mystery I thought it was just kind of fell into fall guys in the shape of the characters, but Nope, you knew better and they'll have that video out I it is very dead. There wasn't much to it. I knew it wasn't gonna last But we don't want to get too far off the topic. It's time. No, not God You said going to tension fuck off Kind of funny to me though that like cutie pie has got so much reach And somebody's like mentioning some series he may have done like lose people like yeah, I watched I watched I was just like Jesus christ I thought it was cool when we all saw different stuff and shared stories, but no, pewdiepie. It's just so popular Dude, he is youtube. Did he play? I think he played on needs your rebirth. Has he completed it? I'd be curious what his Concluding thoughts are on it. You know, I think one of his first things he said was was the custom modes Right Yeah, there that is a bit of a like what the fuck, but you know Um, they I think they I don't even know if they've added it in yet, but I know they want to so That wouldn't be as much of a concern for me if the game was good. I just feel like yeah That's how it goes though. Um, so anyway, let us check out Nostalgia critic covering van Helsing. What a strange day this is This is what I'm here for Yeah Do you buy skill share? No For your passions, dude, his sign up receive a three two month trial We're gonna have to skip the sponsorship too If he only heard his voice, it would be tough to tell how old he was Right sounded like this the whole time Nostalgia queen Oh my god, that's a freaking off. I was gonna say that scream he does Uh, do you know that's look at mommy thumbnail. That's a scream. Look at him Scream comes to him as easy as just any of us talking like he just it just comes right out. That's how we do He's not a reserved person Well, if you remember, um When they were doing their crossover event for channel awesome I believe it's in like the big doc that came out But like you would be unhappy with people's performances if they weren't like animated cartoons And it would get to the point where they're like, yeah, but that's that's just not me That's like not at all my character and he's like, yeah, but people like it more do it Yeah, you wanted full looney tunes that the the the fucking um the trilogy the films that he's made are Just like the backstory the behind the scenes are just as entertaining and interesting as the actual films themselves Oh, I can believe that there is never a dull moment around this guy Oh, yeah, can you imagine going out for drinks? Then I feel like you'd be jittering on the the seat just like If you told me that he doesn't drink alcohol, I don't know if I'd be more or less surprised Why would you skip the animation? You kidding me? No, you knew what you were getting into Look at this whole cast of characters The bum bum reviews anyone everyone here remember bum reviews. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot bum review The whole idea with bum reviews is you have that friend who is talking about how great a movie was and all they do is recite the plot But in like an awkward nonsense way Oh, I hate that. Fucking hell that pisses me off It just that's the joke. He just he just tells you what happened in the movie But he describes it in a way that sometimes could be funny. I'm saying it from his perspective not from mine Okay It could be misconstrued as humorous This is totally uh, by the way, I think That's what he was going for. Yeah, which that intro for the cartoon was actually pretty incredible. Yeah Oh, look, it's it It's What's that? What's happening? Wow, this is going on for a while, man. All the best characters the fever dream Nostalgia queen, I guess Nostalgia louine Louine, I think they do a different one of those Guy remember it. So you don't have to Oh my god, he's doing oh, no, he's wearing a t-shirt with it. No Isn't that isn't that like his look since the beginning that's how it is. Yeah He's wearing a shirt with a blazer. Well, I was gonna say the t-shirt blazer team not looking too fantastic with him on your team But hey, you know Yeah, sorry the uh, you know the suit jacket. Oh, you know what creature the black lagoon. They didn't have that event helsing They missed out. Oh bummer. I guess they couldn't find a lagoon in transylvania or something Different looks different powers different personalities and how they interact with others But we're realizing what's even more interesting than monsters interacting with people is monsters interacting with monsters What if all those distinct extremist characters came together? Would they get along with a fight or when they fall somewhere in between? This is an idea that can and has been awesomely exploited And the sellouts at nostalgia queen are no different. So let's bring some of the craziest monsters together Jason Oh, there we go. See already. All right. Here we go Dude those teeth It's weird it reminds me of boogie Oh no, why did you put that image in my head? How'd you do this? Is he like finding the mask or are those Teeth like I can't figure out what's up. That might be a jpeg of a fucking teeth taped on the back end of oh my goodness You might be correct Look at the glint that's coming off of it. That's not like his teeth are that shiny. It looks like a piece of paper It could be a photograph of teeth with like a the flash on and like this That picture was cut out put on the mask. It's cringeson. Yeah Son of son of cring Oh, they're doing wrinkle, I guess Okay, these are some of the most iconic yet different movie monsters that have ever been given to us together at last He's a bit of a stretch to say that Um Hannibal what there's a monster. Well that and jigsaw. I'm pretty sure that thing has its own name that little puppet And he's literally a puppet like Yeah, he's literally a puppet, you know, it's not like truckie or anything Right, isn't Hannibal's a guy Um, and I know you might be like well, Jason's a guy. It's like well depends on which movie we're watching And then they're all up against one per guy There's ring girl who's like fucking crazy spirit tv thing I still classify that as monster. No, I do Can't do tv shit anymore. The other the other it's like they are They progress pretty well in terms of like absolutely a monster kind of a monster sometimes Not a monster and then that's a guy Yeah And of course, they're all bound together by one common denominator The one element of which the majority of focus should be on their accountant The irs requires filing a tax return in each year that your income is great The lighting and all the nostalgia critics stuff is always really Everything looks like sickly sometimes. I don't know Yeah, it does look it does look sweating Yeah, crazy. Yeah Compared to red light of media, I guess Yeah, um, they care I don't know if it's a matter of I think he does care. He's just incompetent to a degree. I don't know. Yeah, I think so Um, but here's so many people all the time and he's gonna go over like 15 years Well, it isn't here like just try it whenever we should figure it out Did you guys ever see the pop quiz thing show that he did any of you? Oh, that's possibly the lowest production value thing the South Korea's ever made and is horrifying like It's oh that's something we should watch someday. It looks worse than this even it's just it's incredible It's impressive. I think I think the issue is that nostalgia critics Like his skits you could smell them Oh, it's kind of uh, less five actual things and then something wacky accountant Hi, Mel Brooks cheese Cheese Plus add on one exemption if you are not the He's the one thing that binds you all together. Yeah, but he's like it's so long. You're doing ghost plus 2016 I was gonna say the joke wasn't even that good, but they're gonna they're gonna get a little bit Just I think you're trying to make a point. They're trying to they're trying to meld the point and the purpose with the joke Oh It's gonna move into talking about contracts and how it works for making them. Yeah, like yeah, I think that's what he's doing You see he's he he blends it all together. It's like a smoothie It's like a smooth brain smoothie It does I feel like the writing sessions are hey wouldn't this be funny and then like nobody laughs and they just nod And then he write down sessions are a table where he writes and they nod their heads. Yeah, I think so Yeah He does seem like an aloof control freak Talking about tables. Look at how fucked up that table is they're shooting on All right, all right torn. Well, it's a monster table mel. Oh, okay. Sorry. Sorry. That's actually a pretty pristine monster table Did you think that people really just wanted to see you cool bad-ass monsters together? Yes No, no, no, no they want to see a doll guy with no personality constantly steal the spotlight This is bullshit. I assure you it's not. I assure you it's bullshit. Well, I'm just copying the master of rebooted monster movies Steven Summers Why why would he not be in the room with them? Well, he's the he's he's the jason Yeah, he's gonna operate the camera, but okay, so yeah, I mean narratively. Why wouldn't he I guess they're on skype Looming it in would explain the shitty lighting Because we're cutting back to the the dark red You know curtain and then to the light bright blue I'm like, why aren't you just in there talking to them? So these weird cuts back. It's just it's it's an odd one. I think they're just I'm pretty sure they've been I'm pretty sure that they've been doing this Like this forever already. Yeah, and I think they're just like, oh Don't change something that works or whatever and then Yeah The brain mind behind gi joe rise of cobra You know the guy behind the mummy the mummy returns and his epic upis van helsing What a preposterous piece of posh Uh-oh A most amazing idea with some of the world's most amazing monsters has turned into a most amazing snorfest This is snorfest Hey Is many things It's not just Say that the movie is predictable is a fucking lie. It has a scene with a hundred vampires vaporized by a sun bomb So much it's not How could you say a snorfest is when the like the narrative and characters just aren't working at all zero chemistry And like there's no propulsion like this isn't that like van helsing had those some of those things going for it like The fundamental narrative of it like the archetypes that we were talking about earlier I like the cast the cast they had in there's interesting like character dilemmas Like you know like a triangulation of conflict where you have like Van helsing's friends with the girl but the girl's brother's the werewolf he's hunting the werewolf She doesn't want him to kill him Like there's interesting things going on between all the characters. I found it really engaging definitely not a snorfest That's fucking stupid. It is so fun to watch. We were just Having a just the time of our lives watching this movie. It's so exciting Yeah, it was really good. One more the show does not seem like a snorfen Seriously, the stuff we showed you in the opening hour like that. It's it's some crazy shit. You know, you just you're on the edgiesty It's funny because when we when we watched it At first before we started we were like, we don't know whether or not this is going to be any fat movies We'll see how it goes and we just had such a blast afterwards. We're like, yeah, that's that's that's going in That's that's me. I feel like you'll have plenty to work with that one. It's just Oh, Jesus. Yeah Yeah, do you remember the opening scene where he's fighting um Mr. Hyde, he's got weapons that seem to be like he pumps them to make them spin like the the the blade Like because they want to have that kind of technology But back there it's hard to do it. It's like now. Fuck it. We got like propulsion. Well, I don't even know It's the secret. It's the secret vatican vatican underground laboratory. They have advanced technology So cool. He chops his fucking arm off is what he does Yeah This is because most of the time is centered around dated effects fake action and a main Fake action fake action They should have had real vampires Real action, I just Also dated. I don't know. Why would you say dated? I feel some of the CGI actually holds up quite well even today I mean it is hit and miss but like the monster fight. I thought that was really good for the time It's it is really tough to make see this much CGI in 2004 hold up in 2020. That's tough Yeah, some of it does That's the thing like even watching it 2020 some of it is is not like immediately Repulsive, you know, yeah, well, that's the thing too. It's like I was saying earlier It's like, yeah, the CGI doesn't hold up that great But at the same time they show everything and they could have easily cut away And I appreciate that they just didn't keep cutting and cutting away and trying to preserve like leave it to the imagination I'm glad that they just showed everything and they're afraid to do it. I appreciate that John Wick was real action. He was actually killing people Meanwhile stuff like t2 timon is don't exist Fucking fake action Character so bland you could call him bland. Did that analogy seem bland and it fits the character perfectly How the character's bland? No, I don't sucks The characters are they're eccentric Like yeah, you got the crazy like like levels of of Bland is just not the way I would describe it. Just saying. Yeah With Dracula the wolf man the Frankenstein monster Jekyll and Hyde This should have been a kick-ass thrill ride, but it was Yeah, I'll happily call it a kick-ass thrill ride. That's the yeah, is it is this London where they're at right now? Uh, Frankenstein at the bottom right so I assume this isn't London. I don't know remember After they traveled across the mountains Yeah, where is this to I can't remember where they are when they kidnapped her after they crossed the mountains And then they had to go back again. Mm-hmm. Yeah. This is what they were flying to And then they they magically appeared back in Dracula They skipped that pot. It's boring They skipped that part, but that's the city that they were flying generally Switzerland, london guys chat. I you know, I'm getting Budapest This is the guy cinematic vettel looks like romanian Detroit That feels like skarts in the scorpion king's underwear So what went wrong with this gritty reboot of avid and castello? Well, gritty reboot. I don't know about it. It ain't gritty. It's it's very fun I think yeah, it's whimsical He's completely gritty with like an action flair Action maybe 2000s action movie flair Like a gritty is hard to pin down fine. I wouldn't describe it that way Well, let's look in more detail unless our exciting main character has more thrills to give us It's important to understand american opportunity credit. This is worth up to 2,500. I'm not sure what this joke is anymore That I thought he was trying to make this I thought he started off as having it be a point, but No, no, it's clear that what he's trying to do is save in helsing is the accountant the boring character that's Holding back these wonderful monsters that should have been the star of the show. Oh, do you reckon that'll be the payoff for this joke? Oh, I guess I didn't think of it that way because it's totally wrong So if you make in a story van helsing gives you access to loads of cool shit Like I don't know why you would like. Oh, yeah, van helsing holds them back, you know I feel clearly where he's going with this How does a monster hunt to not give you access to all kinds of cool shit, you know Uh, also Van helsing's character like isn't like might be like typical but in some sense, but it's not fucking boring. In fact, like he's kind of Clips a little bit. Yeah Like he's he's that's to say like wolverines boring I'm not making that comparison just because it's huge jackman But like his character is like he's got an amnesia past. He's the kind of like brooding like Oh, I just hurt people and everything kind of like set up at least but he like then other shit happens to him along the way But like it's not boring. It's the weirdest like hill. He's gonna die on with this like This I'm bored to tears with this main character Yeah, it's tradition. It's it's hard to think of a more fun character than like the monster hunter role Not just van helsing, but broadly speaking like reminds me of uh, dante from devil may cry That's kind of like the fearless Guy who walks in and has these like talk shit with the monsters Doesn't care about like What the scary stuff the monsters are doing completely unfazed. They have no fear, right? The audience can really get on board with that Put's on the cowboy hat on the moonwalk Yeah In the disco it said like, uh, do you want to fuck Dracula's brides? It's a respected the actresses are quite lovely Um So, yeah, I'm curious if this stroke will be dropped or if it's going to lead into a bigger point or or if this is supposed to be funny, which First student for the first four years. This is bullshit. Let's take a look at van helsing. All right We open with the universal do that feel like you guys that it hung on his shot a little I mean it was about to say the same thing. Yeah, so that was a bit long. He just he's gotta be in the I don't know if they forgot to cut the second though that last frame or something. Yeah, totally a nitpick It just leaves a slightly odd feeling when you watch it. He's like, yeah, it was just long enough to make you go. Hmm If it was a shot of anybody else, they would have cut earlier, you know, I do because 15 years or some shit like you think that he would have learned to be a better editor by this point But he hasn't like he hasn't progressed at all. I don't know I don't really do higher than editor at this point I don't know if he would give up that kind of creative control. Oh, yes Great logo. Where's the dark universe at? Oh Too soon see an angry mob so subtle unbelievable The joke is the doc universe had a logo, but it wouldn't be relevant right now because this movie's too old So too soon Well, maybe he's just saying too soon because the doc universe got destroyed as in didn't get picked up. That's probably it Okay, but I don't think anybody was like whoo doc universe. I'm a doc universe fan. That's my thing It's not like a snide cut, you know No one was ever excited for the dark universe No, they had to hit it They didn't because dracula told was really funny. The bubby was really horrible So that got you is like literally looking no one Not the editor or how are we going for but Did they even have that in mind at this point like setting up this whole universe? God, no No, they wouldn't have put all their eggs in one basket with this Yeah, I figured they were just like, well, we've got these monster IPs. Let's let's do something fun with it And then they got steven somers to write a one-off movie Yeah I mean this is like four years before iron man even came out. So like nobody was thinking like that Right. Yeah from account chocular commercial So after my marshmallows they head towards man his humor I just So Yeah, I don't even I'm I almost laughed at just how unfunny it was. You think about the construction of it, you know Yeah, like he makes that you think about him making that joke. And you're like What a you just yeah in a meta way. It's become funny Out of all the jokes you write in his room. Do you think this is a good joke? Count chocula. Yeah, okay, and everyone's still just nodding just they just hear his voice and they nod instinctively He's a good glad y'all agree give him a good seal off Like god, I think even if they were proper punchlines his delivery just irritates the fuck out of me Like he's got that youtuber cadence where he Swits some sentences and then he goes really low like this Uh, that's a really good way breaking it down I just realized that oh my god It's the castle frankenstein in Transylvania. Yeah, all of those germans who hopped skipped over to romania As the doctor has brought his classic monster to life pleasing his good friend count Dracula played by richard rucksboro Who's slowly becoming the kiss of death around here? Kiss of death, uh, I doubt it was So he's been involved in stuff that wasn't good or I guess that's the point Yeah, I mean, what is the poor guy, you know, he's trying I want to watch all of these now that that's true I want to see him be Dracula and everything So rucksboro, I can't really say he's a good Dracula, but He has a lot of fun in this Honestly, this whole control I think he's but kind of both. I I think that Dracula Could easily be that super eccentric smooth talking opulent Critic kind of character. Yeah, this is multiple types of Dracula, you know You can yeah, I mean that's one scene where have you no heart? No I have I was I think we were already laughing when he did the first half of that, you know, like have you no heart? No He's so offended Always kind of entertaining in a sin city meets 13 ghosts of scooby-doo way peculiar experiments have met you In most of the civilized That was my tribute to monster squad trust me, there'll be a lot more references to that than the universal movies Drake heat. He really thinks accents good. Oh wait. He makes he means the original one Well, yeah, but he does access to fucking everything. I think he just tries and hopes but um, it'd be cool if he points out the references because uh Fucking I'm lost on a lot of them. I was just enjoying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Dracula wants the monster for himself and it seems even Igor has betrayed the good doctor Igor help me. You have been so kind to me doctor Carey. Be careful with copyright streaming is always harsher than uploads Oh, yeah, but he does betray him just for money because Igor's that kind of dude He's just that that's just who he is, you know thought and they said they never make another white chicks That's the closest thing to a good joke. Holy shit. Yeah, I mean Yeah, that was pretty good. I didn't laugh but it was like, oh that's a joke I observed the humor safely from a distance behind plexiglass. Yeah, I appreciate the comparison I I'm like it does kind of look like that. Yeah Yeah, it is sort of yeah, I feel like I'm I'm I'm observing the humor in the laboratory I do see what you were doing there. Like it's a like it's a joke zoo and you're there with your kid I want to go to the reptile house There are more jokes to see child My bad you totally can The monster attacks Dracula though and carries the doctor to the windmill, but emo tab. Oh, come on. I need a jump beat on that one Thank you It hurt Do you ever think that we're in I don't know what happens to the brain when when they do it So you come up with a joke and you're like, oh that is a terrible terrible terrible joke and everyone will be very upset by it Let's do it When you're at the zoo and you go to the lion cage and they're like, oh sorry, it's closed for maintenance It's not even a fucking lion in there. It's the white chicks Yeah, if the white Yeah, the white chicks was like the gorilla exhibit, but they're sort of moving around. So like, okay Yeah, it's not just hanging out in the shade just sitting around as animals do What else can you bring into the zoo? I was just saying like style joker doesn't make jokes. He just like that white chicks one was just a net zero That's it But like everything else is just like a minus point and that was like five minus points Yeah, like the losses of the joke or when he tried like his method of connecting ego and and the like how to connect them It was the obfuscation was like plus one, but the way he connected was negative one. So it was like, yeah Nothing really happened. It's just like Uh while we're paused on this scene. I really did enjoy this scene where like Frankenstein's got his father. He's running away and it's like The one place you don't want to be is like the most flammable It literally looks like it's made out of For some reason it's filled up with ebbson That's where you keep the absinthe is in the matchstick windmill It's uh, how do I hide from this angry crowd with fiery torches I know I'll go into this dead end windmill all the way to the top I suppose you can argue that is he's he was just born and he didn't know To be fair, he was born tonight. Yeah, he was It was funny as fuck though when they they like throw the torches. There's like thousands of torches Just We were we were talking during the uh During the screening of van helsing. I was like, man, imagine they threw all their torches and they had to walk home in the dark Dude, I can picture myself being the one who's like, I'm not gonna throw mine. I don't think it's necessary There's a lot up there already feels like I won't be adding much I The contrarian villager The the centrist villager he brought a torch, but he won't throw it Steve notices he's like, why haven't you thrown it? Like, I don't know. I'm just not convinced. I guess this frankenstein monster is really worthy of the death penalty He's running for us, you know, what has he done exactly? Like, yeah, like what if we're wrong, you know Like they start to load him up into the windmill. He's like, no We like we should get a confession or something Not done yet with him and his wives try to catch him as the villagers burn down the mill The monster sums up the movie's existence in one word That's pretty good. There's that the voice It's pretty cool as well because the villagers are like Simultaneously freaked out by him, but also I think a little bit like, whoa, he just said why Like oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, we didn't even ask ourselves that question I mean we saw him carrying the guy who's dead that we came to kill, but we still oh, yeah And then of course I like how we just completely ignored this joke. It's like, oh, that's a cool thing in the movie That just happens. Yeah. Yeah, cuz I'm sorry. It's such good. That's one of those like super easy shots you try and take and it's just like, yeah, but um Yeah, the and that one villager didn't want to do it. He's like see saying why he doesn't even know why we're doing that Why do we it's it's terrible that we're here Why because we hate you I'll joke. Yeah, that's hilarious Hmm But like he pointed out as if it's weak or something. It's like, yeah, it's so guy grave robbs He's created this horrifying monster. They're all chasing it to kill it Mobs mobs aren't always trustworthy on their uh, their ethics Looking aside, this opening is pretty awesome. You know, it's silly Frankenstein He should have he should have left himself to the mercy of the mob Yeah, except then he goes he says oh, but this opening was pretty awesome. The fuck are you? Hmm That is something you'll find with a lot of nostalgia critic videos. He he rips into it. He acts like it's it's the most hyperbolic like This is a piece of shit. There's a slight on god like like a million like this is a million sins But it was pretty awesome to on the other hand. It's it's always Now it's a it's like a compliment sandwich or a fucking criticism sandwich or whatever. It's just like It like but it just it doesn't like a contradicts itself. It's like it doesn't really make much sense He wants to be on both sides of it. Yeah to make it seem like he's so well rounded and like I just assume it's because like cinemas and you've got to find things to complain about and then he can actually be like But I do actually like it anyway moving on um That's the formula really and it's just like it's the formula that he's been using for like a fucking decade It's just it's just like rip into it as much as possible Even if you don't really feel this way about the film It's just it's literally just to beat up the film and then maybe be like a tiny nougat of like I I feel this way about the film Actually Nugget yeah, I don't know It's halloween. I'm thinking about candy. I'm sorry a tiny nougat. I'll show you some fucking candy On classic monster themes and shadows and angles and gothic melodrama that first you might think This is gonna be a lot of fun, but then it goes to color Okay, no because the the dr. Jackal mr. Hyde scene is pretty good, too Like yeah, it's pretty solid if you want to complain about CGI That would be one thing and then of course some of the the elements of the actual The way that the fight plays out, but it's that's where you start to veer into oh my god This is fucking hilarious I think that hide scene is a good example of less is more like they'd had way too many shots of Hide like leaping around the room to like show off the CGI When it's like if hide was just sitting there in the corner on a chair or something in the shadows having the same conversation And it was just like still wide shots and then all of a sudden it escalated to that fight scene That would have been really fucking cool. That ain't hide though. Hi He likes to they clearly go into much more of a playful scene between the two of them like yeah, right? Yeah Yeah, the the movie is clearly saying okay. We're not being too serious here. Look at him go They definitely could have gone this is a thing if you give it to a different director and crank it up to r-rating I make it serious you could but it's just you don't get this movie whatsoever like it's this movie's gone at that point I think Actually, why wasn't this whole movie shot in black and white just looks like the negative was thrown in the washroom That would be kind of annoying Why I mean it I think it benefits a lot from color with the explosions and how exciting it is and the lightning Yeah, there's a lot of colorful characters as well like the idea that we wanted all in black and white I think you can lose a bit from that actually Especially for the tone this film's going for I like that the intro is that way because it's like this is this is the Thing that sets it up. Yeah. Yeah, what's the yeah? It's simultaneously trying to show that it took place before the current events But it's also saying we recognize that we're pulling from like old movie history here You know with these old monster movies that were shot black and white and it does a lot It's a good. It's it's a great example. I'd say of wind shooting black and white right It's close We're introduced to one of our main characters played by kate beckon sale. Hugh jackman Who plays the title role of van helsing they say he's hunting mr. Hi, but I don't know he looks like the big friendly giants testicle wart Haha, big friendly giants testicle wart. What should what should what should mr. Hyde look like He could have said a fucking flesh tone shrek. Like it's just like he had to go with that Shrek, yeah White shrek. Why should he white shrek? Shrek, but white. Yeah, I accept that the cgi looks a bit dated here But I as far as the character design. I don't really mind it Hyde is a big person like the whole point is he like a kind of hulks out, but not really Yeah, he's a normal guy who just gets you know roid rage And uh, yeah different iterations of him some of them don't even have him getting bigger Some of them are just he's just now stronger and angrier Do you remember uh, dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde from the page master? Yeah, yeah, that's it was scary. Yeah I actually get a picture of that Doing that was what that was a really good scene in that movie. Yeah, I like that movie. It's got some problems, but My child mind couldn't understand how the fuck this like nerd you're there could like turn into a demon and I just It's like So bad it's like he seems like such a nice guy and then all of a sudden he's like a fucking raiding lunatic Yeah, some people point out. Why was why was rags trying to white wash shrek? That's fucked up. Like, yeah I wasn't trying to it wasn't me. I was just pointing out Someone else's flesh tone trek and I was like, yeah, white shrek If they recast shrek to be white rather than green, I think that's showing that representation is getting crushed I always thought he was latino really Because he the reveal like really almost like it's basically a jump scare kind of because he yells mr. Hyde And he goes really close to the camera And then he tries to like hit him with a I don't know. Is it the poker from the fireplace? Uh, I can't remember it might be. Yeah, a little bit of character building because van Helsing isn't phased Showing this this shit's been somebody's been up to for a long time Yep Yeah My superiors want me to take you alive do let's Don't get The scene is once again Oh my goodness gracious a shrek reference right wow But it's just it's such a limp dick fucking throwaway too. It's like you didn't even you just said donkey It's like ha I I get that the joke was there, but nope. It had it had to be a penis Ah funny. Yeah, I'm white shrek was way fun here My stone shrek Wait, this is an article. So just like why shrek should have been black Oh no Then they would have said it's racist because of course he's the he's you know living in a swamp and he's poor and he eats garbage Like uh, totally. Yeah, they would have done that Just swung around notre dom surprisingly not making a bad hunchback joke I guess they figured disney would do that as he transforms back to chequilba It's kind of fun. It's kind of funny. I thought that part in the movie was hilarious where he turns normal and he's like I guess hide was like I have not taken the fall You could do it. It's like what the fuck happened tonight? Oh, yeah, that's right. We'll kill people Before hitting the ground Did he say really scott's apology? Luck having a go buddy. He's never gonna have to ruin this friend. You really wanted to squeeze that in Yeah, you wanted to make a joke about He was desperate. How can I make risk we Rick we have scott and poche. How can I make a joke about that? Ridley scott's apology That kick ass ellen's vestry score picks up again for The vatican as he enters his secret headquarters It looks like the vatican is a giant meeting place of religious leaders who hunt down different monsters all over the world Oh, is that why so many of the world's religions get along so well We have kept mankind safe since time then I don't even know what his joke is so is he saying because religions don't get along Yeah, they were sarcastic if yeah, that was the joke Religions don't get along. Ha ha ha penis. Maybe if Maybe vampires and werewolves are the key to religious harmony because all the religions can come together to Have a secret lab beneath the vatican So what you're saying is we need more monsters what i'm saying is we need more monsters We need a monster mash, maybe now We need you to go to the east This guy still makes me laugh The guy who's just standing there waiting to go He's like wait for the snap wait for the snap I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready ready. That's my cue Right, that's me That tells you this film is funny enough that just seeing the clip of You know after that scene that dude on the on the little projector. He's like fucking Nailed it I earned this job Because he's just oh, that's why i'm the pope's projector man That guy just waiting for the snap like that was his entire You are the hunter of monsters and you you are the poor sure buttons I know it's not as glamorous, but I can't do it. Wait, I guess I can you are fired Well, you know Where did you uh Feeling you didn't better off without doing the voice and just just yeah, it's like you just couldn't have done Well, you wouldn't have been better off not attempting the humor This joke is shit Like there's hardly any criticism is mainly joke so far At the beginning of this scene or the scene just before it I like how like this scene in the confessional box is basically like the Cop goes into the chief police chief's office thing. It's basically just that action trope Where it's like your methods are unorthodox crucifix I wanted a piece to say you're off the case. Yeah, I didn't be like damn it. I need you're off the case now give me 20 Hail Marys He's told to hunt down Dracula by helping the princess of gypsy's anna for more than four centuries Oh, I have to get her shampoo But because he's I don't even get what that I think he's making a joke about the hair that her hair is nicer than his In terms of its like silkiness Yeah, like both her hair is long All right In general like he like the first joke he made was like it's cape back. Oh, I mean like Hugh Jackman's like My hair is way longer than his is that the running joke. It just doesn't oh my goodness if I hope not I hope not too because Hugh Jackman's hair is great in this Oh, yes But it not like but it's normal good like you could see someone in real life with this hair and you wouldn't bat an eye at it It's not groomed super Like suspiciously well and out of place Suspiciously, yeah It's like when when you invite people over when you go to someone's house and their their house is suspiciously clean And you know that it's never this clean That's why Guys i'm gonna give you a fucking tip here if you're inviting someone over to your place clean it about 80 percent of the way Right, so that when they come home when you they're there they're like hey, this place is pretty clean But they clearly didn't like go overboard for me. They're just a naturally clean person Fucking key He's double oh slayer. He also needs cool weapons. So we get david wenham playing a fryer named carl fryer carl, isn't that like having a saint bob? No, no that that would be bob then not carl I guess he's trying to say that a fryer should have a really fancy name like tuck Isn't it supposed to be fryer and then the last name not the first name? I well, yeah, but he's not as far as i remember. He's not fryer carl. He's just his name is carl like right, right I get but i don't think they have to play that for a meme in the film It's just do they i'd have to watch it again. I'm pretty sure he's just like You know our protagonist's name is van This is a weird one, huh? I've never gone after vampires before now have you vampires gargoyles warlocks throw the same Well, good to know that van helsing doesn't know the difference between a vampire and a gargoyle a legitimate criticism Good job. We're eight minutes in and we got one. Hooray I don't know the scene is to be like He's so confident at killing things that he barely even cares what the difference is between them. Yeah, exactly I guess he's just the muscle Yeah, it I thought that the whole thing wasn't that he was like ignorant to how to fight a Dracula is just that he's fought so many of them that he just doesn't really care which is which he can kill it Yeah, he's successful in killing them all regardless of rules yeah It's just because even still you'd think he'd he'd know he'd know the differences because if you want to be really Good at killing them. Surely you'd want to know you have to know how to kill them. You can't just shoot them Yeah, so he's he's stubborn and bigheaded about it rather than ignorant Right, but it wasn't it wasn't like thoroughly explained by the movie that way So you can make that as a valid argument here. I think so maybe Bullocks throw the same milk alcohol poison. It's all the same to give a baby Okay, that's not the same thing. Yeah, I'm not You had a point and then you made an algae You It's also weird because you have specifically milk specifically alcohol and then just poison in general Thing that is known to kill this could be food. You're like, why would why would Does he think that alcohol poisoning is like alcohol mixed with poison? Also, it just I felt like the comparison would probably be like a hunter saying like I don't care what what weapons or bullets Or prep I have I'll just kill it that would be war elk caribou Yeah, and you'd be like, uh hunters probably do need to know like what they're dealing with You know, that would be the comparison not what should I feed my baby poison? Like why would you Stop That's why you're coming with me. Oh, they held it down to him. You're a monk. You shouldn't curse at all Actually, I'm still just a friar. I can curse all I want Damn it You were faramir. Now you're the embarrassing cartoon sign to make everyone else look cooler by comparison It's funny because I'll never look like you with my shirt off. It shows his act. It shows his incredible acting range I guess this is all just to make a joke Mm-hmm. I think that's the deal I don't want to hear this guy criticize criticizing other people for failed punch lines That's We're acting But like to explain the anatomy of what just happened, I think he's he's like writing he's like Ha look at this guy He's like playing a clown when he used to play someone who's like super awesome to make other people look better Then he's like better self-deprecate because that might just be seen as mean and he's like I won't look as good as you with my shirt off So to me I'm just like what happened just now like what? I almost feel like there's a quota that he's trying to meet Yeah, like his jokes per minute. Yeah, it's oh, it's like a high joke per minute It seems to be that's the goal distract you from anything else. I suppose He's like a joke mini-gun Prince has left out for bait to catch a werewolf. Yeah His sister played by king back here god. I wish that was me You wouldn't be you wouldn't have your back on the post I don't know my pants are falling off while I'm tied up here on this post. I can't pull them up because my hands are tied Is your hope no big strong 14 werewolves having to go I was just all I was just all stoves like The people who've sat this trap with you are like, what do you what's You guys wait you gotta wait make sure we have them, okay Just don't and his his plan was to flip like Up onto the top of the the plan is really really risky. I think you should have just taken it, you know Before we move on I'd like to point out that on that underworld portrait that the co-star is a guy named scott speed man Good name Yeah, I'd also like for the flash, you know I'd like to point out that great intro shot of kate beckon sale in this movie Like it's so Well, it's just the shot in combination with the music and like it's slightly slow motion It's just so like over the top. Yeah, dude. The best part is she's facing away from the action to turn and pull his sword out Yeah, yeah, she's just like what what's happening? Is werewolf and vampire hunters comes in to save him ish He falls into the fjord twice in this movie. It's just kind of funny Yeah, she says she's never seen an ocean Later on I've never seen the sea this doesn't isn't the same No, no, no the ocean would just be off to the to the left and up I think maybe it could be a river going through transylvania Yeah, like uh, like yeah, like the colorado river kind of does the same thing as it so that's through the look lady It's this but big that's as simple as that This looks like the background of like a resident evil four castle scene when you're on the outside And you just have a nondescript horrible terrain in the distance Yeah Well, my character is totally established now. Oh, yeah, don't expect a lot of backstory. It isn't what So he missed her and this is the first scene we see her in Does he mean like she's a fighter? She worked with her brother to stop werewolves her brother's been killed by saving her and taking out the werewolf That is my character established now. I don't even know what the comment there is. Is that criticism? Is that a joke? It's literally the introduction like the first 30 seconds and then they do build the character Well, I don't know if it's criticism. I don't know if he's like see how they did this kind of gives you a good inkling of What kind of character she is and I should be like, okay? Well, I think what he's going for is like her character has been poorly established by having somebody else save her Is he I honestly think He's saying like that seed did a good job of getting us a good grip on exactly what kind of person she is now And that's a tragic history No, he's being sarcastic that she's she's poorly developed right now. I think But it's only a few minutes. I know and that's the problem with this mainly It's like he's skipping. Yeah. Well, that's the thing It's like he's skipping so much of the action that shows like somebody's clever intuition or their acrobatics Or how they're taking the scene together and everything like that. He's skipping it all He skipped it when it came to Jekyll and Hyde and he skipped it with her And it's weird that he wouldn't if he's looking to kind of rip on the film and rip on it Like there's a lot to criticize about their absolutely retarded plan to catch this. Yeah, yeah People saying like it's clearly sarcasm. It's like but it's so shit Like it's really dumb the plan is really dumb and I think he you'd think that he would get maybe he will in a Second, but you'd think he would go after that Dude the best part being all of them have guns and none of them are silver bullets So it's all a waste of time to shoot the thing with them and then they shoot it so much it gets freed from the trap That shit's hilarious That's something worth making fun of like Why did they blast up these ropes? Why don't they stop shooting? Don't worry where we'll full rescue you Yeah, there's like a lot of gun full of echocooler Right. Yeah. Yeah, thanks random mob of gunmen that guy that trapped me in that cage Thanks so much for showing up when you did they zoom in on one of the shots and like goo comes out of the werewolf like green goo It's yeah, like green goo Um that they later say that this werewolf vatum. So we were like, did you shoot his vatum pouch? I don't know where that is Great personality or even interest out of this person much like our main lead. She's just there to he was he was seriously saying that it's shit to introduce her that way Yeah All right, we we do kind of learn a bit about her. I'd say so Are about her skills and what she does is her profession her care for a brother Yeah, she especially is established when she meets van Helsing So, yeah, it seems it feels weird to me that you'd be like so critical of a scene with barely any dialogue That's really short. That's an action scene where her brother dies to save it from a werewolf. Like, why would you? Yeah called as a snorefest Yeah, apparently we're supposed to just know everything within a first minute of knowing it See, it's like yeah, let him meet van Helsing. How about that? Do stuff and look good while doing it The only problem is so many people look good while doing stuff and have charming personalities that the simple act of not All right, do we need to oh, let's go back Yeah, let's go take a look at those pictures These are people who look good and have good modeling stuff and have all right. We have ellen rippley She looks all right. I mean looks very utility, you know, I just need to call them charming personalities Charming personalities Although I don't think charming. I mean a little bit, but that's not really her character is I wouldn't say charming Yeah, nor does she particularly is I don't think she's even trying to look good She's like sticking to Looking like a soldier and shit. It's just she looks like that because she's been through a bun. She's very practical and dirty and yeah Next we have Tomb raider angeline a jolly. She looks like angeline a jolly. I'll give her that she's charming in that movie I remember being fun. I don't I don't I don't have a lot to say because I can't remember a lot of it Yeah, I only saw it when it first came out and it's been a very long time I'd have to re-see it But yeah, she was definitely like super charming and super, you know So she makes it to his point Who's next? And we've got the underworld Yeah, uh, that yeah with scott speed man. Yeah, I don't know that she's charming in those films I don't remember her being charming. I'm gonna remember that movie. She's pre stoic. She's pretty like Reserve, I don't even know who the next one is It's dirty foster, but I can't figure out what yeah, I don't know a movie I think it's the revenge movie where her like boyfriend dies and she goes on a killing spree What about what it's called the revenge movie? The revenge Just the name of it and hey because chat is now like five seconds from live. We can get answers quickly. What is the movie? Yeah, uh The brave one saying let's see, uh, Michelle Rodriguez is deliberately not charming and everything she's in But I guess it depends how you look at it. It's like yeah, it's the charm that she's not charming Did she make her first appearance? No, never mind. I was about to say oh, this is chat is telling me that this is Medea It's the brave one apparently Yeah, the brave one. Yeah, I have not seen the brave one. I haven't seen the brave one I don't remember it, but I remember He's got the the fucking Terminator into this list of charming people I was like, I guess you could say it in a in a he's like in the is a robot Who's doesn't quite get like social interactions. I suppose but like I feel like that's a completely different sort of idea than what he's going for with the other people I don't know that the machete Michelle Rodriguez I don't really remember it that well from that movie She's not in it for that much is she? She gets shot in the head and then she comes back with an eyepatch. It's very like jokesy. Yeah, not not enough to be charming Rambo boy. He sure is not charming Like it's not even like The Rambo where he's he's Being a person. It's the one where he's just blasting people in the hill You know Yeah, and the in the wise words of John Rambo That's a good one I'm glad you liked my my Sylvester's impression I'm not sure John McClane is like abrasive to everyone. He meets almost right Cool. And would you even say he's good-looking? They're a different like well. He said looks good while doing what they do Okay, I mean he looks fine Yeah, it's such a weird but he does It's just a weird category like Charming is complicated What is his definition of charming? I got no idea. Do you like them? Are they? Is that what makes them charming? If we knew what he meant by charming exactly Well, I would say John McClane is charming But I guess it depends on the movie like at the beginning of the third one. He's like hung over and Well, I mean he's also like shit, John Yeah, I don't I don't I just because if you say one of these people charming I feel like the words lost meaning Well, yeah, but can we all agree though that ash from evil dead is very charming? Yes Yeah, yeah. Yeah Yeah, I forget the guy's name from they live, but he uh, Roddy Rod Piper He's um, yeah Chew ass and eat bubblegum, right? What about the terminator charming well, that's what I was bringing up earlier You I can see how you can call him charming, but it's not the same kind of charming as these other people. That's not It's charming to see him try. Yeah, you know, it's like when it's like when It's like when a A kid tries to draw their family or when ringo star writes a song. You're like that's charming I get good for you. You're good. Good on you But this is supposed to be an opposition to kate beckon sales character. Yeah, you say when she's But she's not charming in van helsing. She doesn't play the charming character. She's very no nonsense get it done Badass sort of Kind of like van helsing I feel like van helsing is more fun loving than she was in in the movie. I think how they play off each other. Um She's close to well, this is the thing like since when was ellen rippley not like that too. She takes everything very seriously She's very serious. She's like she kind of looks around with her comrades, but for the most part. She's very serious That's true. I wouldn't describe her as charming. Yeah, is he just trying to say likeable This is like a whole different thing A mixed bag of examples here Yeah, it feels like like yeah, yeah, that's probably why he only left these images that were cropped very poorly On the screen for like a second so that you couldn't even Really think about it, right? If you ask me to give a category to this list, I'd be like action Characters. Yeah action stars action characters There we go. Yeah, all of them have a weapon in each of these pictures. So Where's John McLean's weapon? Yeah Where I guess that's the definition of charming. I didn't realize until now that if you have a gun you're charming Well, I think John McLean's holster is empty. So he That's not a holster that that's a magazine. Well, I it is for like a magazine, but It's a magazine holster Molster, I'm sure those things are real, right magazine. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, leon scott kennedy has one I'm charming personalities that the simple act of not smiling doesn't give you a three-dimensional character The act of not smiling does not give you a three-dimensional character. That's uh, I would argue she plays The same character in Underworld which he used as an example of a charming character I was going to make that claim I just can't remember Underworld well enough to be sure of it But I'm almost certain she kind of is I would argue she might even be more of a buzzkill in Underworld Her name's Celine in that right? I think Yeah, yeah, she's a bit of a She was much more serious character in those movies. I haven't seen them, but Like I've seen clips and trailers and stuff. She seems like a very stern That's just funny. Like on his face She is this I haven't seen him Um But yeah, the reason to watch Underworld for me was always bill die. He was fucking Awesome or nice. Sorry Well, I'm starting to mix those two up now because I hear more about the science guy these days than I do Davy jones, you know Oh, so good. Oh, dude. He's like one of my favorite portrayals of a vampire Like he's so fucking cool And then they kill him and I was like boo and the next film is like, okay a prequel kind of no The second film was flashbacks where he was in all of them and it was like, okay That's something and then the third film was an actual prequel movie that's got him in most of it It's like they knew what they'd lost. Yep. Yeah, they did Where are my dragons but with werewolves Beautiful To talk about things interesting things not just shitty plat exposition like this Why is it so important to kill this Dracula anyway because he's the son of the devil I mean besides that That's funny That makes me smile I like how he calls that exposition when it's just literally just like a casual question In terms of because yeah quite we're clearly not being welcomed here. This is a cold and miserable I was like, oh, why do we have to kill this Dracula? Anyway, maybe she's you know, yeah There's much better examples of exposition in this movie. Yeah, I would say so. There's a lot of exposition scenes This is one actual exposition scenes if someone said this is I don't even sure I give this the title of exposition because like of course That's all we know Like you kill Dracula because he's evil and that's the only reason we get in this scene So that's the calling that exposition is like, well, that's just a joke really Well, that's like why is that a bad thing for it to be exposition if it's at least done well Right. Yeah, that's that's totally fine. Someone just brought in chat. Um is exposition always seen as bad It's like usually what you want to do is achieve more than just exposition But even still I don't think you should be considered that if it's natural dialogue Yeah, it needs to be natural It needs to be given in universe explanation for why things are being shared not it is aboard the millennium falcon with your father Han Solo Another example would be if they had sat van Helsing down and gave him a five minute tutorial on how to kill vampires for us We'd be like, what the fuck like this is yeah Yeah Where it felt like too much for me was uh, Fighting Dracula the end and Dracula stuffing in all this dialogue about how he's like Gabriel in the left hand of god and all this shit And it's just too many words It was the giant cataclysmic battle. Okay Kill him anything but no, no, that's enough. Do you really need more motivation than that? Yeah, I do because being someone's son isn't actually a crime Yeah, I mean you could satan's satan's already a cool dude. So his son's like, he's probably pretty chill. Yeah Yeah, he's got a lower death count than god I want to ask what it's like favorite movies are and stuff. Maybe it's van helsing. Um, oh Schindler's list I like wholesome movies Giggly Oh, see that's not even I think people don't even know that's a real film or act probably I don't even know if i'm pronouncing it correctly Um Yeah, the idea that like as you said This is a this is a tough journey and a tough battle in a place. We are not welcome might be worth getting a few extra reasons to kill him Leave him alone. He's just asking I was just about to do the time warp again you It looks like her feet are in front of a grid go go back just a second to where she steps on the The wood thing is just about to do the time warp again you That's like That's clearly not they I think shots can look like that sometimes, but I I don't see why they wouldn't just Do that practically it seems Maybe for safety reasons Well, we can't have her on stand on a box Wait, so what part of it do you think is CGI just out of curiosity? I don't know. It just it doesn't seem real like the whole the the her her legs her feet They're on this box and the background the lighting just doesn't match. I Yeah, the foreground of the background just aren't they do not what if it's like, um Green screen in front of her and the the what she's standing on and they've composited the two together I don't know. I think that's what they did. Yeah to keep them both in focus. That would make some sense Yeah, I it looks you have a looks bad. No. Yeah. Yeah, and yeah They like the shot. They were desperate So van helsen goes to I just realized I would even find us her legs were blurry a little bit No, we european kingdom in the 1800s to talk to princess ana disney really is trying to buy everything But oh no, our two main characters are meeting and we haven't established shit about them No, really. I don't know a goddamn thing But wait, but last time you said that we've established everything we need to know about this character I guess he was doing now. You're saying we don't know anything about them. That was the sarcasm You're saying that they haven't established it. I guess I I don't know. I think you just forgot that he said that Super early in the movie. Why would why wouldn't now be the best time to start learning about these two And maybe how they bounce off each other I don't know Other desires personalities. It's a doctor going to a give us some insight into the person that now, you know, it's b panic um I mean so So is that so you can't do stuff like this and then tell me this film's boring I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Like all of a sudden, uh, it's been it's been four seconds without an action scene. These are three vampire brides attack the town You guys need to see that That's great. Oh, why isn't it loading? Come on It did load. I see it. I can't see it. No, I mean on my end. I can't it won't come on. Oh my goodness. Well, why was it loading? I need to pee so Oh, man, it's a really high definition paint image I Like squad it's just he's getting the job done. It's not like some kind of you know big thing for him And it looks as if if I'm to take this incredibly literally he's almost separated the spine from the legs Damn That's a strong kick. Yeah, nice one spot Again, go watch e-fab gaming number eight or seven. Not sure which one it is chat. You've missed out on spot. You gotta go see Yeah, what is The best he's a good legend of sport. It is Yep, so I'm gonna pause there chat. He said this was like a storm fest. Look at that They read isn't that what you want? It's entertaining They talked for 35 seconds before giving us another goddamn action sequence Ooh, I'm excited this bland chunk of wood is fighting alongside this dry piece of car I thought he was saying like In the intro that we just want to see these monsters, but then shit gets in the way or whatever the accountant That was the joke. Yeah, accountant man. Ha ha boring, but It's a weird complaint to simultaneously argue. It's boring and then be like it's filled with action scenes. Boo I don't know. Yeah They fly now. Yeah, our board. What would the boring one do to save the other boring one? Okay, you've been really extreme here I feel like you just watched the trailer maybe and then looked it up on rotten tomatoes and saw the score Read a few reviews and then just like parroted Because you have a whole bunch of basic sentiment when being critical and he's just run with Boring That seems to be like his whole deal and it's just like really hard to fit this film criticism wise into boring doesn't quite work This is like seeing really cool monsters go up against a can of soup Oh, no Jokes fucking suck There's no way we're carrying on until rags gets back. He needs to see this Fucking god, you just said I just looked up rotten tomatoes and van Helsing give 24 percent It's not a surprise to me The audience is 57 the audience would definitely be higher than the critic. Yeah. Yeah, it's like No, not the skits. No Always can't can't be doing this alone need raggies Oh No I would be curious to go the second review the second review. I'm just gonna read the first sentence Hugh Jackman starts as the sexist van Helsing to ever Wait, at least it's sexist van Helsing. Oh fuck. No, mind. I'm just a retarding. I can't read just It's the sexiest van Helsing. Yeah Okay, I was about to say like sexist van Helsing. I'm like, oh, wasn't this review in 2004 when this wasn't a fucking problem I mean Didn't exist. Sorry. I'm sorry. No chat. Stop it. I did it a dumb dumb. Don't Stop did it did it dumb dumb I see it doesn't take half an hour for them to update. They get it straight away Seriously, e-fap has evolved, you know, I'm just saying um Um imagine like You're trying to make a point about how it's boring that these amazing monsters are fighting a character less character You know, like what's that like a can of soup And and you're just sitting in that little little little writer's room like Maybe we could come up with something funny. I don't know. Oh, we're on a skit again. Oh, well Jerry, we're gonna make you watch this. Okay, rags. You ready? Action sequence. Oh, I'm excited this bland chunk of wood is fighting alongside this dry piece of cardboard What would the boring one do to save the other boring one? This is like seeing really cool monsters go up against a can of soup I'm gonna die. I don't have anything to say. I'm trying to pull Uh mario luigi and peach are on that Campbell's can of soup Yeah, we are. Yeah, he's a gamer He is a gamer. He's got gamer soup. Michael is a gamer He is gamer soup. He's got gamer soup mario and peach and luigi on it. Okay gamer soup I just noticed something so you know how before we were talking about how the the shine on His teeth made them look fake or his teeth above his lips now, or is that just his teeth being? I don't Well, that's because he's about to have that's because he's about to have soup. Oh, so they are like Like it slides, that's how the mask works. Okay, so confusing I just I never came across that because I've won Those masks for halloween before I don't remember them coming with teeth. That's weird, but okay You need quick access to your soup. Okay your your gamer soup Sorry, sorry Hey, I just proved how easy it is to mix up mike miah's and jason's and mike miah's michael miah's They they're just big dudes. Shrek is coming back. Oh, no So many references everywhere. Oh god I do like how Hannibal has the pizza slicer I just think it's funny You disgust me I mean not like I'm not like ha ha ha more like I mean, it's kind of It's kind of Like it it implies that he uses some kind of a cutting implement, but it's not a very it's not a really fearsome one, you know He's just got to hold something. He does cut up people to eat them I approve of I approve of the pizza slicer. Mm-hmm. Yes It's not bad. It's funny. I think it's amazing So Dracula's wives attack and again, they're pretty silly, but at least they have personality Why Um, that's I don't I don't even know what to start See that was stupid, but at least I'll remember it. Wait, so that's what the requirement There's way better moments to remember than that. That's fucking stupid. So if they're not chewing the scenery. They're not characters That seems to be the way it works because like the idea that they're both boring at this point It's like, how do you find ven helsig boring? It's like Yeah, medieval james bond. I don't know Does she always ask random questions that way? Do you have any twos? Oh Jesus I've been assaulted. That's still an image Wow, you played that three times paper. He said Anna. No, she said Anna He said the name do you like to fly Anna? Oh, they know who she is Yeah, I'm just complaining that he keeps playing the clip Yeah, because he wants to do it multiple jokes because funny doesn't need to keep reminding us of what it I'm familiar with the loss material To that would fit too well What is up with the editing by the way? I swear i'm not tampering with this. It's so rest and chaotic I can't even make it out. I followed all the way exactly what just happened. Dude. Yeah, like What is he talking about? He's referencing this as if it's like michael bay transformers editing where you can't understand what's going on But this isn't anywhere near that out This is actually I pointed that out while we were watching I was like, did he just get thrown three times? Poor ven helsig But the hell even was that just random moments in time of him getting hit Yes, it was a montage it represents. He's losing the fight. He keeps getting thrown around Then he makes a turn for it because i'm pretty sure that's just before he he Does the special he needs to go for the um The automatic crossbow and then he dips it in holy water. It's this whole thing. I don't know why i'm just recounting the film But yeah, it was a holy water fountain by the way. Yeah Yeah, if you don't watch a narrative to the action we lose interest really quickly Anyone what's hard to follow about this? He's getting thrown around Mm-hmm. What's oh, I don't understand. I can just cut to random shots of people being punched But all of those are from different films He thinks the random people are being punched. It's the same dude Jesus Christ, that's the protagonist van helsing played nobody else has those handsome locks So it's comparison that's 2004 movie van helsing This is like just putting random people in there that that are getting punched even though this is all the same Person that's getting fucked up in the same area in the same movie But it's the same when you put in different scenes from different movies. I don't I hate this. What is happening? It's so hard to follow watching van helsing being thrown three times It's hard to follow what he's trying to say Yeah Just there's a really dumb beat at the end of this fight scene where like he's got his crossbow He's shooting at the vampires And then a vampire swoops down and like knocks the crossbow out of his arms And then he falls down and then like the vampire flies away victoriously And then it cuts to van helsing and the crossbows like right next to him on the ground And then like the vampire looks down and she's like, oh, no the crossbows right there And just like like we didn't need this beat like it's not a very There's parts of this action see that are not very well thought out But like to say it's boring or it's badly shot or whatever is is totally inaccurate That's what I mean He's he's got material to work with but he seems to keep going for things that we're all just like wait Why are you gunning for this like what what's Weird See not exciting Okay, so showing me the hulk hitting Thor and then punch out and then another movie was someone getting up and cut it Like I wouldn't describe it as not exciting. It's just strange Again, he makes his own montage and then you can't even describe that properly Consider me not convinced. No, I am not. This was a poor argument. You make what's the meme your critiques are poor Who am I kidding knock out like Tyson is always excited. So they use holy water to super soak one of them to death Forgive me father. I said yes to this movie He's the first one to kill a vampire in over a hundred years So van Helsing earns Anna's trust but Dracula is so furious. He pulls a mavis pounding up the walls I love that walking up the wall. I like it too That scene is so fucking funny. I want to see the vampires die, right? And he's in the coffin He's like so he has such despair over their loss. I guess or the one of them dies Yeah It's not just the walking out because they're definitely filming it as the actors are upside down in certain portions of it It's pretty seamless. Like it's treated I wonder how hard it was to nail the tips of the walk up the wall because he would have been on like wires or whatever For that shot. Yeah, you have to do it awkward because he has to do it as though It's all very normal and it's just hard to like while he's delivering his crazy Dracula speech. It's just yeah Yeah, look at this part Really? upside down No I love Even though it's totally unnecessary I just love this reaction It's the delivery x it sounds like he's annoyed that they asked like no Coming from you Ham his character dumb ass. That's what you said. Yeah It's very true not to mention that that's all he does. That's his whole thing. That's just noris in chat now It's about her motivation her passion and overall what makes her tick. Nah, just kidding. They talk about stuff They did and stuff they're going to do. Where do I find Dracula? Yes Because that okay, so it would be really weird if he sat her down and says so who are you? What do you do? What do you like? You'd be like what? No, what we need to do is they follow the plot being they need to defeat Dracula And so he's gonna ask her where he is and what you can kill him with I suppose rather than He's he's pointed out like a cluggy exposition that he's like, please give me a cluggy The character exposition almost to live in this fairy house for centuries ago. I can help you I can handle this myself So when does she get kidnapped? Funny thing tough people don't have to actually say they're tough people. They just act that way Well, they're trying to convince people then it's you know She um, she does believe she can handle it herself, but uh, and she doesn't like him But I mean you can probably say like she should probably want him on your team because it's pretty tough to go against Dracula and his brides But uh, yeah, that's that's we're learning a bit about her character You know, she's very very closed off especially because she lost someone she cares about in the opening in a fight Right if only we could have gained something from those scenes in terms of character That's to prove they're not a damsel in distress. It's usually lazy writing clarifying. That's exactly what they are I mean, she's Fucking Subbing it up as she's just trying to prove she's not a damsel in distress. I mean she's she fights whales and vampires Getting caught doesn't like automatically make it so that you're not a fighter I Care myself I'm a damsel I'm in distress. I can handle this What do you you're not proving anything your comment was? Yeah, that one was self aware clearly like but you know what I'm saying, right? Like a damsel in distress means you couldn't possibly be someone who fights It's like so if ever a hero type character gets kidnapped then they are no longer a fighter. That's just how it works Yes I can't think of a moment in this movie where she's a victim like That one seems pretty like I guess Pet peeve of mine whenever people use that ding sound effect and they have Slightly distorted version of it and they don't balance it and it pierces the fucking Yeah, it's crazy. Um How much people will have the imbalanced like because you have to lower the shit out of it I think it's just maybe the look of it in the timeline. You just believe that it's balanced with everything else Every time I got to use a ding. I I bring it down by 75 percent. Yeah, like Stand that ding otherwise. Good. Yeah, totally. I agree I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself And seeing what empty shells these two are it probably won't be long until she can't handle hers I didn't think it'd be that quick I don't even really get it. Why'd he knock her out? Because he doesn't want it to go and fight crackler and get kidnapped and killed Mm-hmm Yes, that's pretty much it. She never brings it up him again. Yeah. Yeah, like excuse me. Did you just cosby cloud me? Was it to protect her a lot of good that did her brother sneaks in transformed into a werewolf and tries to kill her Well, I mean, it's not like van Helsing necessarily wanted that but it does seem like he capitalizes on it I don't know I suppose in terms of timeline it is strange. You're just wondering what did van Helsing do between then and now And was it simply him waiting maybe for the brother to try and contact here? I don't really know Right. Was he using your his bait to catch the werewolf while he sure wasn't on guard when the werewolf finally made his move. He's right there It took him a little bit to get in but he got yeah, like he wasn't as fast as he could have been In totality, I guess I guess I was supposed to be a trap. He'd be all over it, but it does take him a while to get there Well, yeah, he should have been faster Thank God you wasn't conscious when he broke in van dumbass Okay Gee well third bullet go in It did. Why did we focus on that? He's preparing he's got a silver bullet so you could see the silver in the bullets I guess he's saying it went on for a little too long. Um, I guess he's showing us that he has At least three shots and he's setting the tone. I don't know Yeah, like this is this is when it gets a little bit more serious because you're about to have a big fight Right like it feels a little bit more serious there for just a second And it's then of course we get that we know someone someone cares about being the brother Like I guess if you just want to put the camera on two bullets fine, whatever I guess Right if you just showed one bullet you'd be like, oh, there's one bullet that's silver in the gun, right? Exactly. This is like, oh, he's only using one bullet It's like they go confident, are we Because I was going to do a depressed if I'll say that it's like I don't think I can go that high pitched like He's going to use one bullet Undertaker tries to pointlessly kill him it's just my nature Ha ha get it. Do you get it? That was funny That's important that that's thematically on point. What John was bringing up earlier, right? They're all different pieces of that whole puzzle of like monster Therefore should be killed. He's a human. He's like, it's my nature that I would come after you It's just like we're presenting all different types van Helsing is seen as a monster For the work he does killing monsters the monster is seen as a monster because he's a monster You know in in looks, but he's actually a man beneath, you know, like I feel like that line is deliberately on point with the rest of the film Totally right even eagles lines. Like it's what I do like you could argue. Yes. It's all a part of it I can't believe I'm saying this van Helsing has themes Yeah, oh my god But but we hate themes Bad themes. No Themes are bad His moustache And Helsing tries to kill it with Anna stopping him the werewolf. He's gonna kill people He can't help it. It's not his fault. I know but he'll do it anyway. Do you understand forgiveness? Yes So you can forgive me when I kill him Yeah, uh, I it's an odd odd exchange like I get the point of it But the words they use are really weird and it almost sounds like she's saying let him kill We will forgive him afterward. It's like, yeah very strange I So those you loved and lost is perhaps harder than to have no memories at all Not that we'll dive into those memories because then you'd have dab. Let's just go find He's really pushing that she has no character. It's just not working man. I'm sorry She just stopped him from killing Her brother. Yeah, despite his him being very dangerous So I feel like that's that's a pretty significant character element there, you know My literal hair of who bit me but fear not we have this amazing insight as they chased the wolf to frankenstein's castle It's just after that that your father went missing. He was on his way to the sea. I've never been to the sea I'll bet it's beautiful Sucks That's the commentary he's got for that. That's it. Why even bother Yeah, how is his facial hair three colors? He just didn't understand it that's what this is Talk about personal stuff during personal scenes and strategic stuff during strategic scenes not the other goddamn way around What are you talking about? It takes her a second to just be like i've never seen the sea it came to mind But he just described the the prior scene as a personal scene in which she discusses strategic things How do you define a personal scene outside of people talking about personal things? This guy hurts my brain So they walk into the house and he's like so how do you kill Dracula? And then she's they start talking and he's like wow talking about strategic things instead of personal thing Like I don't understand that argument whatsoever And then the idea that they're chasing the werewolf And then they get to the castle and then they have that comment like Again, there are so many things to pick on in this film and you're gunning for all the wrong shit Like that that's actually a nice little moment the idea that she's never seen the sea like Yeah, she's sort of like man. I wish that I could see the sea. Yeah Stop talking about strategic things in personal scenes. I just that's a really strange way to put it But bite give us some more information on your fascination with the sea I guess it stops there She said she hasn't seen the sea she thinks it's probably beautiful and he reacts to it That is the end of that exchange Yeah, it's a human moment I don't think he watched the fucking movie At least not all the way through He sure didn't understand it. He watched his clips on youtube. We never actually saw the scene Yeah He's he's missing loads of stuff as well, but you know whatever that's all we need to have a fascinating character I guess wow, he's really pushing that she's like the worst character ever She's gonna keep shoving that square peg into the round hole, you know I guess I should do something like that for my main character's development, too Who likes your federal and state tax returns from the previous year? I like pies For income information, you'll need the forms you receive from your employer No I don't I don't think there's any commentary worthwhile. I think the more we see his skits the more will be left bewildered Like please And banks So they come across Dracula's unborn. Well, they're born. They're just dead because he's undead, which means alive So they should be alive, you know undead is and dead is like a weird cause it's a way to explain this Alive, but shouldn't be yeah this weird state in between right? It's in the name, right? It's like not dead, but still Yeah, like undead Splitting hairs here for sure. He's trying. I think he's trying to find a joke. You can't so he's just saying what it is It only makes sense that children are born dead Clear that up I that totally fits in with the mythos. They are fictional creatures. My good man. I don't know what to tell you Yeah, I I see nothing unreasonable by undead creatures creating undead babies that have to be electrically stimulated to live It seems to fit in with the vampire fame Amani Bob said there's a video of him and his brother watching this film and taking cues for jokes. So he's definitely seen it Hmm. Well, I mean A certain degree. I bet he was super distracted throughout the whole thing Something like that, but it's like to a certain degree. I knew he actually did see the film It's just that he hasn't structured in such a way where he's skipping Over all the parts that, you know, could have kind of flew in the face of all of his points so far ladies first That sounded like a space wizards defense at molar That's because it is that you can't tell me what the rules are when there's nothing. It's breaking This is pre-established. So that would be like if someone said how the hell is he using a mind trick in a new hope And I'd be like he's a space wizard And then if he then needs it later and doesn't use it that's when you can be like so that doesn't make sense Maybe I can't say he's a space wizard at that point. That's not a defense But it is a defense when you're like it's not realistic that this is something you can do Like of course, it's not it's not real like why would you That's that's in the same way that if the vampire doesn't burn in sunlight when you've established it It's like then you can bring it up. You can't then appeal to how it's a fictional creature. So anything goes It's not there's a two different audience contradict stuff And it sort of follows in this weird logical kind of way Yeah, I'm fine with that the idea vampires have sex and they can create these like eggs for future vampire creatures That uh aren't they're somewhere between alive and dead. It's like yeah, what else like how else would you do it? Other than not having kids at all Just gotta bring them to life with monster man powers So naturally I'll go first. Where do you get your shampoo by the way? It looks like Dracula wants to use Frankenstein's technology to bring his offspring to life And Anna's brother is a slave to his word now as well as these random guys Yeah, that was that was the obvious joke. Yeah Yeah, I I made it earlier. I did the whole yeah without ocean that the OSHA thing It was pretty pretty good not gonna lie way better than this and it only took one of my voices to make that happen Oh Can I just say that I love how Dracula is always listening standing on walls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Mark said he's feeling a little bit sick. So he's gonna jump out and that's all I know when people make fun of van Helsing I just get There's a part of me that Disgust Yeah, I mean, how could you come after such an incredible film? This is one of the greats I'm offended I only got that spider web out of my hair At least we're not working for Johnny Depp. The technology seems to work giving birth to Vampire I feel like there's a joke buried in there that could have been all right You know, we want to take a shot at the shitty Willy Wonka. It's like, all right Yeah, like yeah, obviously. Okay, you do the Willy Wonka thing is a quail. It's like, you know, Maybe they're just glad to not be working for Johnny Depp. Like how do we how do we make that into a joke? How do we structure that and form it into the joke? You know or or what are you gonna do? Are we I was something I said during our screening. It was like these are these are all the Like all the midgets who couldn't make it who who didn't get hired as munchkins They had to settle for this or something like that. I can't remember. I don't even know And they washed the village to feed Hey my shitties fly fly Dracula finds health Pretties that turn into shitties. Yeah, I get it But I I think I even when we watched it I I made I made sort of a comment of oh, it's like the it's flying My pretty fly fly it but it was just like a little little comment Yeah, I think it was different here is just that than anything else You'd expect a tear above when it goes from like a live reaction response to written He spent time going over these and was like I'm gonna stick with my first impression He ryan johnson's this it it registered on the jokes like joke marmita. It's just so low Yeah, it's like jumping up and down next to a rickter scale Yeah, it's like oh look it twitched Well, yeah I can almost dance It's the only applause you're gonna get in this movie. I don't think that's a bad moment there. I I like that moment Because he's heard he's been around so many people who are terrified He knows the sound really well a palpitating heart that's full of blood that vampires really like And you can tell he's still Yes It matches what we know van helzing doesn't take him that seriously He's just like everyone else. He's gonna fucking kill him. That's why he's not spooked Yes He might as well hence why the scene soon after is when he tries all the standard shit And it's not working and how van helzing is like, hmm. This is a bit worrying Back it out Don't remember do you exactly? What is it? I should be remembering horrific scenes of ancient battles past How do you know me because I have a 5050 challenge. You're gonna play someone who doesn't know his backstory That stuff it wasn't set up well like yeah There should have been a Like a scene at the beginning where he's having bad dreams or whatever to suffer. I thought you were talking about his joke No I was actually talking about the movie there. I missed his joke. What was it just that he plays characters who Often forget the histories. I suppose it's only three examples. One of them is from this film. So One of them is from the top One of them is from the film. He's talking to you, right? Oh, I didn't even think about that Well, if you get it right, right? He was like three's a pattern. We got these two. Is there any others like Just use this film. Fuck it. It counts um But isn't he's forgotten his ancestry slash, I don't know it is weird I'll give you that because we didn't really get much information on it at all. It's kind of strange It's like past lives, but also the same life or something. I don't really know That's out man. Would you like me to refresh your memory a little? A few details Do you think the appeal of these videos is just that you get to sort of rewatch the film with him talking about it with you? Hmm might be a little bit I guess that's why people like it because I'm trying to remember why I even watched his videos back in the day I'm not sure. Me too. Me too. I really like the videos and I'm just like, why did I waste my time? It's strange man No, don't show him. It's too horrifying That's not okay Helsing and Anna escape and the bat babies explode not having a very long lifespan. It would appear the good doctor took the key to life I'm touched there. I love it. It's so the blocking of all of it. It's so bad Look at this the set the way the camera is moving what everyone's doing this film is it's it's I don't know what the experience is But it's unique. This film does it. Yeah I love how the distress of the two ladies are like Take a shit here in peace we'll be clogged up the toilet again squeeze those eggs out of my vagina And then attach them to the ceiling come out small and then they expand it's fine They're like tadpoles Our heroes come across the old windmill to hide out it. Okay, cool. Maybe now we're gonna find out more about them Or the senate cell tries to kill them. I really could I mean you can even tell from the scenes He's showing that there's progression Like he just put his hat on and she's like smiling like because they're getting to like And it's like now they're like getting along and he's putting his hat on her So protect her from the rain and shit You can count to him from the clips he shows that is an efab bingo, I think You think you joke of oh and van helsing puts the hat on her to protect your shampoo? Exactly Take a guess who they happen to stumble across though How could you possibly guess this? Yeah, I thought he died Um, I find the whole thing weird because that means he if anyone had checked underneath the windmill, I guess they would have found him It's I guess he just well wait. It's only been a day, right? What was it a week or a year? It's a year. I think it was a year. I thought it's been a long time It's not been like hundreds of years in my point, right? I think it was one year they remember I remember one of them saying About the death of the doctor because the top hat guy looks exactly the same in the flashback, right? You're right. The slate is one year later. Yeah one year later. Okay So to the minute What else One moment chat I shall get the image for you What do you reckon on the lifespan of squat as a meme rags? What do you reckon? I don't know. Um I don't know. I honestly don't know Yeah, no idea It will never worry fappers watch that gaming episode. There's gonna be a good chance that it just keeps coming back We sport us pretty strong like in general Can do a lot of lots with it Actually to the film's credit It does follow the book a little more of having the monster actually be intelligent and well spoken I guess that's enough to convince Helsing not to kill him. My job is to vanquish evil this thing Evil may have created it and evil does not rule it so I cannot kill it Well, if I didn't seem to stop you when innocent jackal was falling to what do you woe? What what did you want him to do he's Hide murders people he is hide like you can't kill hide without killing jackal. That's just jackal And jackal clearly made the choice to like be Mr. Hide he takes a concoction. He drinks the potion. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that is the law of it's not like the hulk, right? Yes Or is it whenever he gets angry it's not when he gets angry. I need to brush up on my hide But in the sense that the hulk isn't aware of like What he's doing or like or when he goes back to being bruce banner He doesn't like remember what he did being the hulk. I think that depends on the iteration I can't I can't remember if it's consistently doesn't remember Sort of the action stuff, but I think you're right about hide though. I'm pretty sure he takes a potion I can't remember if it's that he takes a potion then from then on he can turn to hide and in times of It's been so many dr. Jackals and mr. Hide sort of types. I just can't remember To his death in fact either way. It doesn't fucking matter. He's trying to stop hide from killing people. Okay, like this Also when he when he was flying through the air and he changed back into dr. Jackal What did you want him to do? Yeah, also van helsings sad about the fact that a guy had to die in order to stop hide like what do you Want to do what what else do you want about your unnecessary killings? You killed him, didn't you? That's why they get so annoying when they ask you to bring someone back. They don't mean it's a call Yes, but do you see the scenario? I love he's pretending that he just executed it when he was on the floor like defenseless Watch the scene again Also, even when he first encounters mr. Hide he asked you want to come in, you know quietly or Do you make this easy on us? Yeah, which he obviously wasn't going to do because he's a giant monster who loves to destroy shit. I don't know They gave him the option Well, they tried to get the monster to roam to protect him from dracula I guess this could be nice. We can find out more about one of literature's most famous characters. Let me go Where are you going to go? I don't know if you've looked in the mirror lady, but you kind of stick out to the crowd Please tell me that's not it Literally dozens of movies have been made about this character Oh, he's annoyed that we're not getting more characterization for frankenstein the one character We were immediate to praise character wise in this stream. Yeah, we don't get much but what we get is, you know, it's something Yeah, didn't we already kind of see how he developed because we saw him be born essentially It's like you kind of saw you've seen his whole life Yeah Yeah, it's uh And you're just doing another disney picks our action sequence Because yeah, why have crap like this? Yeah, I remember the disney picks our movie where they shot people These are not the same films. I was about to say this this is going for something completely different tone wise When we can have that it's not the same movie. I don't want to say God This is the stupidest thing Do you like need an explanation of what like genre is I guess like this is I like you compare the carriage doing this insane jump off a fucking thing Which is hilarious. We were loving it every every nanosecond. We were just To compare these two scenes like what are you doing wrong? It's a snooze fest It was so great. Yeah, I want to keep reminding everyone of that. This is a snooze fest Look at this. I guess everyone in this movie has like superhuman acrobatics including the horses Yes, even the animals like that. Well, they quickly it established that But they established that these horses were the fastest things ever And so like it didn't seem too out of the rails of possibility that they'd make that jump It does look strange considering they're holding it like a carriage, but Well, and the carriage doesn't make it Correct. Yeah The horses make it because this film is friendly to animals It's true. Yeah, it is true. Yeah The next man origin is Wolverine! Stop it. After falling down the friggin longest cliff ever the monsters are fought off. It is absurdly long It's just the pit to hell basically Right. Off with Anna's brother biting the dust. You killed him. You killed him Now you know why they call me murderer Oh, that's why they call you murderer because you kill people. That's the stupidest line in this movie No, it's no it's not because he kills people are the monsters oftentimes. That's how it works It's literally high and jackal versus man and werewolf. It's like there's very similar elements there that when you kill One of them you've killed the other Also, that was quite a spry piece of cardboard there. Are you gonna come in on that? No, okay Spry piece of cardboard. What? Well, he was calling her a piece of cardboard earlier. Oh, right Character, but here she is getting super pissed at him on multiple occasions Like that's a pretty lively piece of cardboard there. Are you gonna come back to that or? I don't know. I'm sure he will. It's true. He's made up his mind. He's not being fair Oh, totally not but This is what I mean about this film is so much to criticize But but like he keeps just again, we target something where he's like you killed my brother It's like your brother's fucking psychopathic werewolf trying to kill all of us So I guess now you understand why I have my reputation It's pretty like it's clearly not something he's happy with and then the sergeant is like stupid lied Okay Now you know why they call me murderer Oh That's why they call you murderer because you kill people. That's the stupidest line in this movie I would say that was the stupidest line in his review, but I wouldn't want to cast you quick Yeah, we're we're just over the halfway mark. There's much to see Oh my god, they've been bitten Well, well that's a development. Maybe now they'll finally have a conversation about so What what do you want to talk about? What what what? So instead of talking about how hilarious it is The she hits her once this person who's super durable She falls head first into a rock is knocked out and dragged away before vat helps her to do anything instead He's like, why didn't you talk more about each other's feelings? Yeah Why are you so inept like even doing this for a decade? It's not hard. Yeah She need to talk for five minutes about how pissed she is at him right now I don't think we need more of that. We it was established interactions. We're good now Christ, this isn't character development or a monster movie or even a movie. Okay, you are confused. This isn't a monster movie You are very confused right now You have you have a woman being carried away by flying vampire bride. Do not tell me this is not a monster movie We just moments after discovering someone is about to engage with the werewolf curse You're like, this is not monsters. This is just stupid after they were running away with frankenstein in their carriage Yeah, stop telling me this You know me because they were running away from dracula. Yeah When you describe it like that it certainly doesn't sound like a monster film to me Sounds like all the monster movies They're all rolled into one It's commentary that fascinates me sometimes. Christ, this isn't character development or a monster movie or even a movie It's steven somers playing with his dolls Oh God So I thought he was gonna be around from like 1994 I thought I thought he was gonna move on so we could talk about the commentary that like all it is It's him messing around with each of these creatures and I'd be like, oh kind of like a monster movie But no, we're doing a skit Here we go I have a few lines I'm the wolf man There's so many things you can say about this This is how I feel my being the chief by the way I just wanted to end So I wanted I want to hear how he pitched this in written form For this video Like and then we'll have you you'll hold the camera and you'll be pointing it at me as usual And I'll be in I'll be in this chair and I'll have a wig And I'll have hair for once And I'll be making obnoxious noise with all these dolls And you'll be panning around me holding the camera And you'll get a picture of our old printer And Will this be will this be at the shitty table? I was like, oh, yeah, this will be at the shitty table All it's all gonna come together. This is gonna be fucking hilarious. Halloween table There's a reason we chose this for Halloween you see This should terrify you that it was designed and produced and provided To us in the hopes of making us laugh with it What's up with his hand? Yeah, yeah, you're right. He's got some Wow his middle finger is a little bit bent or I'd also like to highlight how red his neck is Like he's really putting the performance in for this It's a 20th take his knuckles look scabbed like he's been punching a wall I hate my life. I hate my fucking life What is it? I'm a nostalgia critic. God damn it We thought this joke was so fucking good that they were gonna take extra time to film its own scene They thought this joke was True man, that's tough. That is rough. Let's just put it that way. That is rough He didn't put on a wig So when like there's some people who theorize like is the audience sort of are we looking at like eight to 12 year old level? It does come across that way, but I feel like I don't I'd rather watch a troll in central park, you know Definitely. Um, well in the same way that walley is like suitable for all ages. This is not because a lot of people theorize Why is it that he didn't manage to Continuously grow and I think it's because his audience is flowing in still with new people who reach age eight But so many of them reach age 13 that they're out Yeah, because new people are constantly born a fresh supply of new nostalgia critic Fresh supply Eight to 12 year olds wouldn't get a bell Brooks reference come on So you think because of one reference to one thing someone might not get means it couldn't possibly have a target audience between 12 and 8 That is interesting I I I think you don't have to understand you can understand the joke like you can pick it up along the way You know, it's more of a feeling that he gives off with everything that's in this that Like that's what I'm trying to appeal to with this young audience. Like, oh, it's so funny He was playing with his dolls and someone came in without knocking Chat says that's a space ball reference. He's doing here Maybe he's not making a reference to mel. Maybe he's stealing from mel All right, I mean obviously, but I'm like instead of trying to appeal to an older audience that understands The mel Brooks and goes, oh, hey, that's a mel Brooks. Right. Maybe he's just going. Hey, this was funny I will just outright steal it for my 12 year olds Right. And so the 12 year old actually is the demographic and he's not making any reference at all Also, wait, wait, it's the implication like do you guys think I'm saying this? This is the only thing in this whole video that is of this caliber like no, no I'm making the claim that essentially all of it is of this caliber No, I understood like this is this is just the uh, I don't know microcosm I suppose um Because the idea that like What's been a hard joke to pick up I guess would be my next point What's been a joke that you guys had to go like, oh wow, I have to think about that. That was nice. That was clever Like like in a like in a good way or in a like I'm confused. What is the joke kind of way? So of course I'm not really referencing the latter. Um The the This is where I mean all of it has been um as we've said on the joke meter. You can see a sort of hiccup. It's like, oh shit There was some brief life in there. Um, there's even simpsons like classic simpsons would have A variety of jokes that are very easy for children to pick up But then a whole bunch that like sits in a late teenager sort of section Then a whole bunch that sit in the adult section and it's just they're all over Yeah, there's been nothing highbrow. That's for sure. Yeah, and and and as much as someone might be like, wow You guys think you're so clever. It's like, no, no, no, I just mean that that's what gives me the impression that it's designed for this very young audience Yeah I think that's kind of the problem when you have to have like a youtube series with a like quick turnaround And you have to come up with something. I mean the uploads every week, right? Because um, Spaceballs has loads of all the kinds of selection of jokes Um, there's lots of jokes that are just on their face like look how fucking dumb this is sort of shit But but like nostalgia credit jokes, they're all very clean and incredibly simple Yeah, you kind of you kind of have to be like ever like like I said weekly upload the best you could do is just kind of scream and Talk about penis warts instead of Shrek. I guess Yeah, I suppose that cranks the age rating, right? Because that's the other thing. It's not the A kid couldn't watch it like the kids shouldn't be able to it's just something that that's probably uh, who is watching it I would I would imagine Don't feel ashamed if you enjoy nostalgia credit by the way. I'm I'm not suggesting that that's uh, that's wrong It's just that it's interesting to me that that this is all that seems to be done And yeah a lot of the time it doesn't even necessarily feel as though that it's it's like necessary Like I said, I thought we were gonna move on but he's like no, I'm gonna do a whole whole skit joke here That's uh Simultaneously a reference so he gets like an extra point but not really because he didn't do anything Reminds me of some family guy jokes, but they do that, but yeah Yeah, it's just literally the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, there you go. It's almost like family guys Uh demographic age range. Uh, it's something family guys is a bit cranked up. They're a lot more crude Mm-hmm. Um, yeah, you know, we're like we'd like two-thirds in we can survive Let's keep going. I didn't see so giving you millions of dollars again good Well, that all sounded great. How about a budget of 160 million sounds good universal? Loud everything seems to go on a little bit too long Great place for a title card Also, he's got a man. I love it some of his older jokes. Maybe it's just nostalgia I don't know if maybe he was he was a little bit better before Who knows I'd have to watch his older stuff. I honestly don't know This is the red rip What weren't his first videos like just did anybody watch I wonder if he was like also I've just turned the volume down while this ad goes if you all do the same you will find it confusing Oh, that's what this is. Okay. Yeah, definitely in that uh the Sort of like so when he was older, maybe it was the older videos were more so just created from passion while these ones are more so processed Right Oh, I was just gonna let it play by the way. I was I was leaving it on Yeah, yeah, just let it let it go good old skillshare Just turn the volume back up once it shows the Nostalgia Critic title card. I think that's how he does it I remember uh Nostalgia Critic and AVG in video game nerd being around it roughly the same time And I remember I was a big fan of James Rolfe and not of Nostalgia Critic because he just even back then came off as cringy to me So it's fun. One of the one of the classes that he Panned over was how to create like how to write sketch comedy Awesome Maybe Yeah, somebody paused it like no we can't have that There's 500 people to click the link get on it guys two months free Do they ever have an ad that doesn't have a special offer? Is that even possible these days? Oh, doesn't it all feel really cynical because it's like it's supposed to make you feel like you're special and it's like Hurry the fuck up learn anything from anyone. Yeah, I think that's not a good idea Wait a minute Does Travis the hobo have interesting thoughts on philosophy? All right, so he was walking to town looking like the opening of a joke as they were approached by one of Dracula's wives Right That's the laugh of a woman who suddenly realized there were killer dogs on the earth side of that wall Oh, that's what he's going with. I thought I was I was thinking about the same thing But I was I was more so like the idea that she's dropping down is a well and she's like, oh fuck But isn't that the bridge that goes above them and not a wall? Of course. Yeah, I just like the idea that Yeah, she was she was heading down something, but I wasn't sure I was cooking up that joke He went with attack dogs. I guess like all right I was just thinking that maybe he shouldn't criticize too much the weird cackling laughs of other people Yeah On address someone said hey, isn't she in sunlight? So the way it works in this as it does with a lot of um Sort of Vampire stuff is as long as this clouds covering the sun as long as it's not direct. It'll be okay Yeah, they do show that earlier in the film. Yeah when the sun comes out. They all disappear She says there's a Whatever hey, you wanted to make sure you got the joke. What if you didn't get the joke? Like the idea is that dogs are on the other side. No, did you get it? No I wonder what his commentary is going to be And wearing that jester's cap is so Ridiculous, this whole movie is that blue tart from skyward sword who keeps telling you things you have Okay, so he's literally his law guy Yeah, and we've already established that apparently he doesn't care to learn the rules of monsters He just executes them. That's apparently something he does. So of course. He needs to know when is he turning into a werewolf? He says it quickly like the idea that he's an annoying tutorial like come on Have to do just let me play the damn game. Yeah, I guess it figured hell in the bottom card. It would be in this Oh, that's not her she can sing How does it feel to be a puppet on my skin? I just wanted to point out that the jokes that we made live while watching this were way better than the jokes that he Scripts and writes down in the video Well, I understand he makes them in a live format and then he just doesn't change them He doesn't hammer them out. You know, he just he just he just reflects them into the script of whatever he's doing next Like you think like a joke you make in reaction and then you get to refine You'd think would be even better, but it's like Thought I had everything that tumbles out of his brain is solid gold. Okay. Okay Everyone in the room nodded when he said it so it was doing great. Also, he said hell in the bottom kata can't sing That seemed mean You know, I I only think I can only think of sweeney Todd in terms of examples of his singing Me the director asked the performers that every day You make my skin and my dubbing sloppy They spot Van Helsing though and also reveal they've captured the frankenstein monster They managed to rescue Anna though and escape into the water Wow, we're skipping the whole scene Not even going with the fucking The sun grenade not even doing yeah Yeah, he keeps doing this in order to sell the snooze fest angle. He was going for earlier Yeah, well, there's much more to criticize like the fucking sunlight grenade. Like are you kidding me? It's so silly Well, but so he takes over like van Helsing knocks out one of the people who was on like I don't even know what they're called like trapeze artists people who are swinging around on these enormous Things that cover the whole area and he does like a he jumps from one to the other that he manages to get Carl to hit a flamethrower spitted dude into Dracula That picks up here turns out the entire crowd is vampires They get chased until the sun grenade goes off and vaporized at the ball like this is not something you skip The reveal of all vampires in the mirror is pretty cool. Actually, I know it's going on It's just it's true. All of what I was just said is true, but never mind. Let's maybe he'll go back. I don't know If you're gonna if you're gonna like criticize this movie Like the reveal that he has a whole castle full of Vampires and are the kids vampires if they're if so you have living kid vampires And what about your vampire kids and it raises a lot of weird questions that they don't address But it's a great fun scene I guess they'll just out in that castle as well. Do they have a vampire village? Oh, I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know Have they talked with him who did your judge? They shared a sentence That's what the director considers friendship. I wouldn't be that heartbroken Well based on what we've seen we can believe it. I'm sorry. I'm a little bit confused. What's he responding to? They've been traveling. I guess it's it's him defending frankenstein It's been housing. Yeah, no, so I'm in the line from Carl like so Carl is saying that we have to kill frankenstein, right? Then he's like how have they defined him as a monster if they've been spoken to him and the nostalgia critics like I need to see it again. Just so I track. I'm a little little bit lost They managed to rescue Anna though and escape into the water I'll find you. I'll get you back and set you free. That's why they're gone. Do they know him? Have they talked with him? Who did your judge? They shared a sentence That's what the director considers friendship. I wouldn't be that heartbroken. They don't have he's criticizing van helsings Desire to save frankenstein because they've shared a sentence. Is that is that right? I guess even though it's the appeal isn't that he's my friend necessarily. It's that he's a He's already explained this in the scene where they met Yeah, he stopped out the big friends And they've been hanging out for some time I mean that the the lines of dialogue that they exchanged that we see aren't the only ones Yeah, there's stuff stuff in between surely that happened But like they don't have to be friends Besides that like as soon as Like in the first scene where I saw frankenstein. I wanted to be his friend. I just liked him so much He just wants a friend nobody likes him. I'll be his friend He says what does he say evil does not control him or does not rule him or something like that Isn't rule him so he can't kill him. Yeah. Yeah, that's already enough motivation. The idea is like wow They're so friendly. You're like, what do you Do? Very odd commentary again. You don't need to be friendly with someone so not want to kill them I think you know High five to that statement mel high five Thanks, but I'm broken. Even if you somehow kill Dracula remote is you to destroy frankenstein as well But frankenstein is dead. Oh, you mean the monster. He said destroyed, didn't he? Oh, he's commenting on right Frankenstein's monster. Yeah It's colloquially accepted. Okay. We passed this For school and calling frankenstein's monster frankenstein. At least I think so. Maybe I'm just too progressive I've done it by accident because this movie is so bad. It actually made the common mistake of calling the monster That's okay. I've even seen people talk about this. It's accepted Like there's actual references you can make that's cool with this I'm pretty sure one of them goes back to the original book too like um Also, the idea of a father taking uh the son taking the father's name is totally cool as well Like from that aspect, right? I just I'm gonna my hot take I think you'd be in a little bit gatekeeper at this point if you're gonna point that out every time someone says it It's just like you know exactly what they mean Clever because they're literally at a gate while they're watching this happen Get it there. That's good. I just like it's okay I'm just one of the drawing instructions on uh Jack box the other day was um the captain of well actually I think Doug Walker fits that pretty well. Absolutely because in universe you guys it's frankenstein's monster Actually, yeah in universe you can argue they're going with the son father rule as it was like instead of just saying the monster The whole world is filled with monsters. It's a little bit like which one you're talking about It seems such a I'm gonna say it you ready here it comes. I'm gonna say it. He's nitpicking That's actually kind of amazing for any frankenstein movie to do that's like in breath of the wild somebody calling link zelda It's not just a mistake. No No, it's not it's not quite the second zelda reference What's that why so is that the second time he's using an analogy that's just not right Like there are ways to create them and he just keeps fucking them up It's an embarrassing mistake. I'm sorry to keep bringing up zelda games by the way I guess I just feel a lot more for those pixels than These pixels in fact i'm still not entirely convinced these two aren't computer generated Okay, I don't so they find out the map and his father had in his castle was actually a gateway that leads to Dracula I don't even care how that works Funny how the snow goes sideways and yet our hair isn't moving at all captain said it Well snow is way easier to move like yeah. Yeah, no shit. Fucking hell snow like I get we've got a state. So snow is actually quite light like pieces of snow. It's light I like how you're gonna explain this Like so does he think the cg like it's cg snow or cg hair I'm assuming it was all real. So how would you argue that the wind is not affecting one while it's affecting the other like that would Wait for me. I'm gonna knit the cure too actually and say that I thought it was weird that they passed through the ice Mirror with torches. Yeah, and it the flames didn't snuff out I was like, why is it an ice mirror because it's snowing on the other side. Is that enough to Make the mirror like a frosty portal. I'll just I'll agree with him on it. It's like, I don't I don't know how yet that works So That's prior Carl I hate you. Yeah, thank you for it. So Go away. I got I got my comment in before he said this So it doesn't seem like I'm just trying to be contrary contrarian to him So that that part's kind of funny and it doubles up as telling us that they can't just run back out Um The idea that he's he's very much characterized as but he doesn't want to go on this adventure He's a he's a scatty cat. That's kind of his archetype Yeah, he is appropriately concerned about his well-being. Yes Crap that still sounds stupid. They discover the monster. Oh my bad Frankenstein is sealed inside a zebra cake Which looks so ridiculous even our heroes look like they don't know how to respond to it must not laugh He has a cure to remove the curse of the world Why does Dracula have a cure? I don't care. Well, at least she's echoing the audience No, I'm curious. Yeah, I mean Yeah, why would you say she's echoing the audience? Because the audience doesn't care. I'm sure the audience typically well, maybe they don't yeah, okay I'm I'm interested. I wonder if it's to do with like a secret sort of In case of werewolf not being able to be controlled, you know, we can Fuck it inject him with the cure to stop him from werewolf. I think the better I think the better plan be to counter a werewolf is to Find the werewolf a woman and then have the werewolf impregnate that woman and then the son from that union They have the mother and that kid be raised in their own castle away from the world So that eventually one day that kid of the werewolf can grow up to maybe be strong enough Potentially to be able to fight the first werewolf just in case they can't control that first werewolf Halfway through until I realized Oh, really? Oh, okay. Yeah, tell me longer that I would have preferred but I did get there. All right. Well, that's a boy's fucking reference It is And it's on point. Why have a kill switch when you could do that? That's a really good plan For those of you, yeah, that's that's we're talking about the boys Those of you who think the boys is good Stop Eagle it took well for the reference. So here's like that. I like that it it wasn't immediate. I like that I was honestly when you were doing it. I was like, this is definitely going somewhere. I can't wait for the payoff Always leads to someone and I like that on screen right now. The penis snipper is is right there He's just got it. He's just at this penis snipper and he was going to snip someone's penis when they interrupted him See, you know the um the e-fap sort of spooky ween Papercraft eagles papercraft you'd be equipped with the penis snipper. That would be his thing That's why they caught it. He was so happy He was thinking he was going to go off and have one of his penis snippens and things are going to be great and I like um the idea as well It's just like that's that's faithful to the books like he always had his penis snipper. That was just They needed to make sure they brought that in he wouldn't want to upset the fans I has him take her to where the cure is apparently hidden I'll go first Why doesn't she send Igor in to get it? So the idea is that both things could happen. He could go in first and press something or do something That means that they get fucked over But to the reverse Okay, it's just she doesn't trust him, but it is it's funny that they all both go in and leave him at the entrance because then he fucks them over You know This obviously be a trap She's a dumbass The wives drops in and they have themselves a bat fight while the weenie sidekicks have their own little battle This is like watching a fight from the pig and the chicken from moana. This isn't especially interesting. I mean He's really pushing that a boring angle, huh? Yeah. Yeah, I was important at all. We were like, yeah, oh my god Yeah, he's like he's got a big-ass cattle prod. Oh shit. I'll curl up be careful Like that he skips lots of action scenes But when he shows actions, he's like, oh, that's not interesting. It's like go fuck yourself then He hasn't shown a single oompa-loompa die as well. What's that about? Yeah Free the monster. This is gonna hurt. I am accustomed to pain Oh, so that's pain. I totally wasn't accustomed to that pain sucks. Yeah, that was the joke already I don't yeah, I don't want to say about that. I mean, if he does not Think that this scene is great. I'm gonna be fucking Oh, this is the greatest thing ever. Of all the ways you could describe this part, if he says That's interesting. Oh He's flung off the table and grabs onto a wire swinging across the castle knocking out Igor I can handle myself. Thank you But no He's All odds he happens to swing through a window that happens to be where a vampire Just about to kill one of our protagonists in spazer. That's all he had to say Oh my god Instead of commenting on any of that insanity Like it's an easy fucking setup for you to talk about Yeah Why? Like I need you to appreciate what happens in the scene. He is trapped on a like little little electro cutie stand thing And he is blasted off it in the direction of this battle happening between two different people like he's he's all in line for it Falls onto a rope a wire cable It it just breaks that he slabs it past Igor killing him stopping him from attacking farabia Then ends the journey fucking slap bang into the vampire. It's absurd Absolutely didn't comment on any of that He skipped past the best part of it where frankenstein is dangling at the end of it. He's like help me You're supposed to be dead. Yeah, I want to live Okay Um If we can watch the viewing of the movie from him it last 10 minutes like I don't think there's much point like we go. We got we got this Yeah, so if it's the refined version of it, right? You don't know. Yeah exactly if this is the gold that he that if these are the gold nuggets he You know pulled out of that mountain of crap and uh I don't I don't want to see the jokes that didn't make it into the final cut You know and they do say um many reputable doctors like don't overdose on nostalgia critic. That's like a serious concern I will I will say this though Maybe the joke because his sense of humor is so skewed and alien Maybe all the jokes that you thought weren't good are actually the really hilarious ones. Yeah Could you imagine if you're watching the 10 minute when you're like, wow, that's funny. Oh terrible terrible Excellent Dracula appears to van Helsing and oh I want to enjoy his heavy acting not see him as knight on doll mountain Transforms right back. He goes back and forth like you cut it. You cut it right before he Transformed back. I think well, um I would actually see it's so funny how brains work because for me I was like they make him go back and for and back and for and the idea is clearly that they want more Lines being delivered from the actor in the normal Dracula form And so I'd be like it's clear. That's what they were up to but hey, it's worth it and his complaint Yeah, I know we don't get enough of that. It's like what do you mean? They are they are breaking their back to get you more of that I just double check the scene just in case I've got it opened up literally right after he cuts it He is the actor delivering a line. He's currently transforming or in starting to when he cuts Actually, yeah, if we Dracula here is to van Helsing and oh If you look at his wings, they come up and they make the parts of his like little coat Yeah, it's his cloak that the wings he folds the wings around himself and it becomes his cloak He's about to speak Right So, yeah, look at us having to to defend van Helsing from the evil nostalgia. Can you believe it? I want to enjoy his acting not see him as knight on doll mountain Joking Sorry Oh, well, you think that the whole point was to do it just to make the comparisons a knight on doll mountain They admit that and did he just like oh, but I want to see the goofy thing again or something But okay first off that doesn't even work because knight on bald mountain which was made famous for a lot of people Because that's that's uh, bezorsky's knight on bald mountain Which was part of fantasia the first one which is the superior of the two That's like a crazy interesting Uh One too. It's not dull at all. It's very exciting. There's all sorts of demons and monsters and spookies You know what I really like About this e-fap is I think I may be wrong But I suspect we all joined this thinking that We would be the only one trying to defend van Helsing against everyone else who would hate it But we all like it. Well, it seems even in chat most people We get what van Helsing is. Okay Yeah And even still I could see a video where you rip it apart. I could see it happening and you could be like listen I'm I don't want to be a buzzkill But this movie does kind of do some stuff that you know and you can pick on some but no this video's been pretty bad Yeah But van Helsing turns into a werewolf and what should be really cool is so ridiculously fake It's swear to michael bay reboot of hotel transylvania I Don't know what you were looking for it's Enormous fictional creature. It's hard to I don't know It didn't start off by saying that Fighting monsters were really really exciting. That was the whole point. He started with I know why I was so I was so confused by that all tax accountant thing. It's like we don't get a tax accountant thing fucking movie But even if even if you did right Even if that was your argument Now you're ending it with oh and then they make the monsters fight. They're horrible Yeah, once again all these clips. Oh, this is the movie is a snore fair. It's like why why did you say you shouldn't have said that? Yeah, don't by the way long as 12 strokes of midnight ever It must be such a bird To be the left hand of god Dracula revealed get this that van Helsing was the angel gabriel who originally killed him And apparently god erased his memories Because that's what god does now God fucking like flooded the earth like what won't he do I think god erasing some guy's memory like let's just just take it just take it Well, if he doesn't do more once again, I am left so confused He established all of that and that is the end of the summary of like what happened now is time for criticism First thing he says is would god really do that Like what what like that's Are you not familiar with the stories about what god Just how one friend of yours who doesn't know how to criticize stuff and just says things and you're like, what do you? What what is it you're saying? I don't understand that's Like I don't know. I'm gonna say something fig tree and killed it God erasing a memory. What a crazy thing god would do can you believe can you believe god erasing one person's memory? Like who'd have thought oh, I hope he never does anything worse than that Pretty sure it's in the bible. Let's see Yeah, uh, he has been in black powers now Wait, you're questioning whether or not You're questioning whether or not god has the powers This character has the ability to erase memories. He created the cosmos Since when does god have the power to erase memories? Yeah, yeah apparently other stories say he created the whole fucking universe in a week and He could flood the earth inexplicably and blow up cities and turn people into salt But you know, he can't erase memories. That would be that's just too That's taking it too far. That's just silly. Come on. Yeah, let me sit you down and tell you something called old power, right? Kind of covers that one I shall give you back your memory Some things are better left forgotten. I went this whole movie without having identity. Why start now stop it Yeah He's got some good lines and he's got some moral character in there and yeah, I was gonna say so first of all I kind of like the line secondly, um my interpretation Is that he is who he is he doesn't want to like have a whole fucking history plugged in to potentially change who he is Um, which kind of ties in with with like the identity in this film, uh the the aspect of Who are you what are you and it's like, you know, that is a part of your history, you know, it's like some things are better left forgotten Someone said well rags really is a fedora tipper name the lie What name the lie all you said was god has all I said was gave the account of what the stories are Also god did flood the earth Name the fucking lie You're saying name the lie that you're a fedora tipper. Wow No name name of what I said, you know, I think you could make a fedora look good though I could make anything look good. There you go Picture werewolf rags. I could make that fucking pumpkin Jacket look good Oof He's Dracula because didn't you know that's the only thing that can kill him. Yeah, they sparkle too Werewolves are magical creatures. They they will give you curses by biting you. They are described to have venom in this Yeah, this is like a historical battle apparently between the curse of the wolf and I don't know if it's a curse of the vampire in this or Not but the other aspect is that they say Dracula can control vampires, but not like in the initial night or something like that Um, so the idea that like what could be his greatest weakness? Maybe the the venom from the soldiers he uses I don't know Why is it that that's not possible? Is it like a weakness? I don't understand It's also explained furthermore why he has why he needs a cure for vamp for for like enthalpy And I might be wrong on this but for what I remember a lot of uh, Sort of ip's that share of werewolf vampire universes and stuff werewolf bites to vampires do fuck them up Like real bad. Yes werewolves will fuck up vampire like a vampire the masquerade werewolves will fuck up vampires They just they're just so much stronger more vicious vampires like their pros are not in their fighting ability necessarily at least compared to werewolves It's that they don't lose their mind when they're fighting right where wolf becomes an animal I like that that is the thing that if you had them in top trumps, they would have different strengths and weaknesses, you know and but but the idea that What happens is a werewolf bites you become werewolf So what happens if you bite a vampire? He's already a monstery thing. It's like it could fucking kill him I guess because it just the good just fucks it all up All I'm arguing is like why is this unbelievable when we're dealing with these fictional mystical creatures? I don't know Right, yeah It comes in to with the cure, but the wolf side of him kills her Is he not He's not coming on that killer. No, I guess No, that's the lone couch No I'm gonna miss so much about her like Fact that you had a brother. Well, you skipped a whole scene with a heathen roman, so go fuck yourself I mean he'd probably have the same reaction if carl died honestly And I mean that in a positive way he would be very torn up if carl got killed Yeah Oh, she talked about no Yeah 160 million dollar budget and they couldn't even master shooting grass in slow mo. I don't know I I I don't know She never got saw this see this see the saw That's latin before she could handle herself This dead woman could handle her now you are really fucking anchoring on to that one line that makes total sense That she would say at the time and you are just re you are riding that train to the end of the rails, aren't you? Yeah, she's supposed to actually like that is supposed to be the magic word to mean she's supposed to take absolutely no damage And that's what that means help from her friends If any Then they shouldn't be able to be beaten by anything, you know, that's just how it works Get as much mileage out of that joke as possible Oh, he is he's riding it right in the ground. He thinks he's holding on to a spot. He's not he is not This is not a this is not a I don't know what's the shitty meme This is a spewert He thought it was a squirt but it was a spewert Boy frankie's monster got hosed on whatever deal they made, you know, and I always wanted to see the sea We never did anything with that. So you're gonna live. What do you mean? You never did anything with that It's happening right now Next to the sea you fucking idiot It's like when you rewatch the patriot and you're like, oh actually there's like a lot of good thematic stuff in here And clever writing bits and things and you didn't really expect it to be there, but there it is Well, how do you miss this? It's the sea next to what is essentially her funeral? Like he considers it a failure in writing that she wasn't alive to see the sea right that's besides the point Because that makes sense even though she sees it from her happy sky cloud So get fucked that's the payoff. Oh, hey, uh 10 bucks says he actually does make the lion king reference. We already made Yes, that's that's probably fair. Yeah, live in the sea now. I don't follow that So in a spirit, I guess he's united with her family But it looks so corny. I keep expecting to see Elvis from the end of hot shots up there Oh, oh If you hadn't seen this film you should now see the viewer be like wait, so that is a payoff for the sea then because she she can Yeah nor So, um final line Am I actually so boring you didn't give me a final line. You don't need a final line He's kind of turned up kind of makes sense that he would say that though Someone said the patriot is horrendous horrendously historically inaccurate watch history bus video I don't care if it's horrendously historically inaccurate not related to what we were saying. Also. That's an adaptation argument and Yeah, that has nothing to do with what you said. Yeah God forbid a movie plays out a scene strictly and fucking visuals Yeah, so that was for me. It makes sense that he would say this he can't fucking shut up so like yeah It's showing a character experiencing something and presenting themselves. He's like with the woods. What are you doing? Yeah, can can you give an example of what he kind of wants to hear at least? Well, you finally saw the sea, didn't you? Well, I guess from a certain point of view you did get to see the sea which you told me you had never seen before What could you possibly do there that wouldn't cheap in that moment? I know I'll salivate a baby Spark Skywalker Oh my so many good good ones Guys, you must have given me a final line. Nope. Yes. No good night everybody. I have no idea why I did any of this I have no idea why I did any of this Well then make just money No, I just like they did that. He's like van Helsing didn't have motivation throughout the whole film. He's like, oh Did you miss the whole film? Yeah, you know where he You were having meditation arguments are valid quite. No, they're not a movie is not bad because it's not a good adaptation of something else Yeah, that would be faithfulness. That's that's that's really dumb Yes, you don't know why I did any of this. It was in the actual position you pitched about Rags unless they think hillhouse and the shining of garbage in which case Yeah, I guess hillhouse is a terrible adaptation of its source material The shining is terrible adaptation of its source material I mean hell you could I mean there's gonna be countless examples. I just don't have them on hand Yeah, even though the writing and the characters are incredible and amazing and the shooting and the technical aspects are stellar of those Yeah, they they weren't like the source material. So it's automatically bad Yeah, that's trust me. That's not an argument that you want to force yourself into defending Yeah Ends up doubling back pretty hard on lots of things like I said if they want to you know say goodbye to a lot of properties you love Can't wait to see how Van Helsing is not historically accurate Wow. Yeah, it was a joke by the way chat. That was a joke But yeah, so van helsing The interesting part about his character is that it's as strict as like he discovers and destroys evil to help people That's his prius and that's why I went asked about Dracula. He's like he's the son of satan evil incarnate So he's doing what he has to do, but then there's the simultaneous What you're seen as for the actions you commit to That he's dealing with so I can't believe I'm actually arguing for some depth in in van helsing. I have to Miss all of it. You can be surprised. There's some there can be some depth. There's some stuff there. Yeah I was mainly just having fun while watching this movie. I wasn't like Thinking in depth about the the themes being brought up. It's just I noticed they were there like what? Yeah, there was like something like there was something in the back of my mind Like oh, she was swinging on that cable like a thousand miles in the air and all of a sudden She's made it to the bridge. That was a thousand miles in the air. It's like well All right, we're we'll go with it Helsing Oh, I never thought I'd say this but Bring back brandon frazier What the fuck the mummy's good ring back the mummy. Yeah, the mummy is good. Also. It's totally different I mean, I can I can see how you might vaguely slot them in some kind of similar subgenres. Yeah An action slash light comedy take on an old horror classic I would like us to go through the mummy at some point and try and figure out if that film is actually like Quality because I'm pretty sure it is I watched it a while ago, but like it's a really cool mash-up of several genres all at once and brandon frazier is awesome in that I love It's fantastic. I think it's great. I love the season I like that it's the office who doesn't make me right. What did I say that was sophistry? So well, that's just a response to an argument. You don't like I guess at that point, right? I guess it's really all that this person has is to just declare that my sophistry doesn't make me correct Yeah, also just the third mummy is horrible. That's not what I was talking about. The third mummy is shit That's the third mummy. Holy god Was that the scorpion king? No With the terrible cdi scorpion at the end Oh, so scorpion king doesn't count as a sequel. It's its own spin-off. It's like 2.5, right? Well, yeah, so the scorpion king was a character who was in the second mummy movie, but he I guess they got there. He got his own story I don't know if it's the same the literal same character in the same universe. It's supposed to be. Yeah, I think it is Yeah, but I do know that there were five scorpion king movies and the last one had luthera Yeah, the last one had luthera Oh Rags, I feel you say that so many times that I can't wait for us to finally see it I am so excited to see What did I want to see the movie that got luthera ignore and rutger howard to be in a scorpion king movie Not only that the fifth one. What was it about the fifth scorpion king movie? Hey, look on his on his hand still that red thing Oh, yeah, it's got to beat up knuckles Yeah, who's I don't know who maybe is punching someone at the office or some of them if they don't perform the jokes as written I don't know. Yeah We will definitely cover all of the mummy and scorpion king movies. We'll get to it guys We want to do the resident evil ones too and the pirates carabin ones The tatman A cinema near you like all of it is Oh and someone pointed out like why are you Going to be premiering an efap movies during an efap. I'm going to line it up folks We got under an hour. I think it's half an hour till rags is is yeah I'm gonna have to leave in about probably 20 minutes. I'm gonna hit off trying to get to the end of this video Um, yeah, but we will I will do all the superjets I can up to the premiering of that video I will save the rest. We're seriously we're gonna get to them I still haven't even cracked the record the amount of time it sometimes takes for us to get to the The overflow and then once that's over. It's like an hour later. We will be coming back for a little hope Everyone gets a little I I read something incredibly stupid. I need you to hear this. All right, so I said rags I like you and I get that some adaptation can be good even if they are faithful But when you adopt historical events, then don't lie about history shad would agree first off Don't care what shad has to say. All right second Now what an insanely fucking moronic thing to say that if you adopt historical events It literally has to be 100% correct because remember any deviation from the truth will constitute a lie I guess under your umbrella here the idea that if you make a movie That you are trying to present this as historical fact and that like that's the assumption is so mindless numbingly dumb I don't even I don't know if I could use any I don't think shad would say the you have to be 100% accurate He would say try and hit like the important parts the respectful parts. I suppose Um, which I couldn't I can totally understand But the thing is if you're trying to get a consistent rule to argue You need to keep the the things that are important for respect reasons right and then everything else can be wrong It's like that's way too flimsy Um, I'm sorry. Remember one deviation from what really happened is not it is not historical Yeah, like you have I understand that because you know this is coming from is because patriot doesn't portray America In in enough of an evil light for people they get annoyed with it and they think that it portrays Britain as evil villains Which doesn't but well this is the thing coming from someone who's british. Uh, it doesn't it's Watch it again pay attention to which characters say and do what? Uh, and also I didn't expect enough to do this today So, uh, the scene where bell gibson makes it clear that he chopped off the figures eyes and ears with the Betty of his bed of people including children Uh, the scene where he reveals to his son that he's got a horrible history and that's why uh, the french guy hates him the idea that I just want to say the idea that he's he's propped up as this glorious hero in that film is such a stupid lie that gets Passed around by different people who've seen the patriot. It's like, yeah. Oh, he was never that good It's like seriously watch that scene again. Just remember what he says This is incredible that the fucking dumb takes keep on coming rags an objective measurement of quality for an adaptation of faithfulness Yeah for an adaptation. Yeah, I don't think faithfulness equals quality. You're out of your dog's mind So I don't know why you think that faithfulness of a story has an adaptation to something else Means that the film itself is bad based on character's writing story consistency with itself You don't have to be consistent with because so this is why I started off by saying a historical At historical accuracy is an adaptation argument because it is because you're adapting a historical event In much the same way that now the shining is a shit movie because it is not faithful as an adaptation The haunting of hillhouse is a shitty tv show because it is not a faithful adaptation of the source material Yeah, those are like the british never burned people in a church. It's like true Now what? Yeah, it's like so When have I or anyone ever said I mean, maybe you could find someone I guess with seven billion people You could find someone out there But when have we ever said that the patriot is good because it is an accurate retelling of historical events Who has ever said that whose opinion is worth considering? Also, I'm surprised this is taking everybody as shock Like I would have thought they would all be on board with the idea that like you can't depict reality Like same private ryan gets attacked for different historical inaccuracies a lot even the best Most beloved historical movies have problems Oftentimes you'll find that they argue it's like yeah Well, of course they do because you have to change things to make it a movie rather than a documentary Yes So the shining adaptation of a fictional work not real history Literally the same thing is an option and it's literally the same thing. That's what an adaption is It doesn't adapt a source into another thing. That's yeah, yes, right um Also braveheart is one of like that that shit's filled with Inaccuracies to there's a thing if you want to do this it just takes you down a road that Kills a shit ton of the movies you probably think are very good And it takes away from talking about what they've achieved with their writing Which is what we have to talk about You have to weigh what it's accomplishing thematically Yeah, it's lots of important elements to consider Like the quality of something as an adaptation is completely removed from its quality as a film What's quality and is it script? This is what we had to deal with with the spider-man stuff We want to talk. Yeah, it wasn't like the comic that I arbitrarily chose Is the comic that it needs to be following as a faithful adaptation Therefore it's bad regardless of the characters and the script and the writing and the internal consistency of it It wasn't like a comic. So it's bad. We don't Inglourious bastards, uh, would be awful hitler didn't die terrible Terrible film and if someone wants to then go well, you see that's alt history It's like fucking what's the arbitrary line or being categorized that way exactly and why can't we just call patriot alt history? Inglourious bastards is interesting because it it steers so hard into the inaccuracy of it deliberately Like where it's like an inverse of What happened almost to the point where it's like, okay, this is clearly deliberate and they're doing it for a reason Well, it's unfortunate when people don't actually know that like if you fast forward a hundred years and someone watches that without any context of those times of what happened Right, they were just like was it really like did that really like how much of that is true? So that's how it happened I'm trying to figure out when did the patriot ever say that this is an accurate retelling when did it ever say it was a documentary? Well, that's what I always thought was the assumption with films is that you're not assuming It's depicting events as happened unless otherwise explained. But the funny thing about that is uh fago Actually says the events are all true And none of them are because uh, I think the co-embrothers said that they found that if they were to add that into the film It'll make uh viewers a little bit more engaged Um, even though it's not true Yeah, because that's an out of unit like a like a title crawl is an out of universe essentially information Dispensation to the audience movies all spider-man Yeah, um It's insane to hear this like come on come on people Well, it's funny because uh It seems that they they have such a well some of them because I know some people get annoyed at us referring to it as chat It's for your benefit chat if we pick out individuals and start saying you're a you know wrong on bubble lives We praise you as chat and we shit on you as chat you are chat, all right? Yeah, we don't want any funny dog pile Don't don't add rags and then be like it's you got what you wanted. You got my attention Um, the first thing I talked to cj about when I met him before the uh the first e-fab he came on The first thing I talked about was what does he think about films that are historically inaccurate completely? But are a really strong writing wise And uh, it was it was a really good conversation because those two things are just they're just not the same uh If if if like the writing is super strong for all these kinds of reasons that you like it, but it's not historically accurate. It's like, yeah, but So then what? I guess uh, I guess they just want to throw out like Well, yeah, if if people want us to mention that whenever the patriot is referenced that it is not historically accurate and the That uh, there was no british soldier who ordered that a bunch people get burned in a church. It's like, okay Yeah, um, if someone said yeah, the patriot's not historically accurate and I Like I I guess I'd pause and wait for them to finish the sentence because I would assume There's more coming after that because we all know and if someone actually thinks the patriot is a documentary Then I I don't even Like I don't I don't know That person's dumb I didn't think it was even when I was a kid Yeah, I never thought it was how it went down. I just thought it was a movie I was surprised to find out that there were any historical links with like Francis Marion, you know, so I don't know Didn't report on him in uh, great school. Yeah, also we gotta hurry rags is going 10 minutes left Yeah, we're almost done. Oh my god. We're almost there Keep going the monsters are kind of fun. They overact and look fake But their designs are cool and there's a lot of charm to them The sets are cool for all the cg in the movie. It is nice to see how much of these backgrounds are actually constructed But the cons the pacing is non-existent the story. Oh the pacing is pretty strong Yeah, I'd say the pacing is one of the strong I say this the pace is classic for film in terms of just we have action scene then talking scene then action scene then talking See is very very just balanced in neutral ways. Just like yeah, yeah, this is probably pretty easy You don't have to wait long And if you do it certainly doesn't feel like it Yeah So yeah, I um, I would disagree with him on pacing so far He's just an excuse for cartoon action sequences and the main character sucks So the story is always an excuse for whatever's in the story. I don't want to tell you That's how they do it. Uh, yeah There is no reason to like them outside of they do action stuff They're given no personality distract from the actual fun characters and focus more on what they're doing as opposed to why they're doing it I feel like we've come we know why yeah It's all very wrong It's all been covered Why do people like these characters? They just do things I could say that about every single piece of the media Frustrating film because I want to see a movie with all these monsters. I want to see them fight I want to see them act off each other, but instead they focus on these boars Why couldn't they do it? You just say oh, that's interesting. So what is it? Well, remember they talk about personal things in the Investi like the investigation scenes and they talk about investigating things in the personal scenes. That that is why it's bad It doesn't mean even though what they talk about kind of determines what scene it is Nope, it's not how it works Killa get the monsters together and what that entails So yeah, the creatures were the coolest part of the movie. It's a shame the movie itself didn't pick up on it It didn't pick up on that look at the look of the scene he's showing there were so many creatures There there's a lot of scenes where monsters are going around and fighting and when they're just hamming it up There's what right? It's an exploding carriage with a werewolf jumping at him with two pistols drawn mid-air trying to shoot like really Just didn't pick up on the fact that the monsters were probably at strong points like yeah, okay, even though they are everywhere everywhere Together now because he's in like like generosity mode He sounds like beaker from the Muppets Are the move it's a shame the movie itself didn't pick up So i'm sorry all you monsters that brought together. I really thought I was giving the audience All right, we're going back to the bit Closes the loop it comes There's a relatively simple way to determine the best choice for your situation Look at his scalp So shiny. It's very greasy Yeah, he's a very well oiled man. Well, I'm starting to wonder if that's on purpose. It's so shiny Maybe the room is really hot and he's sweating Yeah, maybe he's been sitting there for 15 takes this once it gets it over. Oh, is this the same shitty table? He was using for this. Oh, yeah, it's the beat-up table from the action figure Do you not have access to a not shitty table? Hello, we filmed so many skits with this table. It's got it's got history. Okay And you know what it's not better than that's forgotten. It's it's better that we remember it There earlier rags had said that this was something you could smell and that's stuck in my head This whole time by the way, and I've just I've decided that the smell is butter The butter it smells like butter like buttery smell any any more modifiers on that or just but like not an Movie theater, but it's closed and it's been closed for several days Oh So it's like butter and gum and snuck in booze and All right, got that stale smell And this guy here that's uh, this this tax guy he his voice is way better than nostalgia critics I would have been much more pleasant to listen to this guy Narrow surprising to get away with it because what I heard is that the star critic wants everybody being As he puts it like more like cartoon characters more animated and she's like, oh, I guess but I don't know. Does this guy if I learned he did Actual voice work. I'd be not surprised at all Well, I guess some people can find value in anything especially when it comes to detectibles I would hate to be on set for like one of his sketches Like where I'm taking direction from him because my inclination Like making having made videos is to like try and be like deadpan and like natural And I would try be doing that, but then he would be like cut. What are you doing? I need you to be more animated sit more wacky like this and wave your arms Be crazy Put your arms in the air like you just don't care Say I need more charm. You need to be more charming. Yeah more charming, but not actually charming fake charming Yeah, as you say, well, what does that mean? He'd be like charming No, he has an existential crisis at that question. He's like, what is what do you mean charming? And he just his brain snaps Can I just uh super chat is okay. We've got all love seeing brit boggs See the good chat about based gibson btfoing red code You don't have What That was it. That was the big payoff. They said It'll feel bad once we kill him and he's like, whoa, you're gonna kill me. I'm your accountant No, he just he said Wow, oh my goodness Yeah, there's too much No, it could be two minutes of credits. Yeah, something else is gonna happen Please don't I'm killing the volume Wait, what? Oh my god, it's like what I was just describing. This is literally what you were talking about. Yeah, it's it's wacky like me James is like, I really got to do this This is the face of a person who like he's he wants to escape I'll do what you say. Just leave me alone. Whatever unlocks the door over there. Just Man, this step must smell like grandma's house I feel so bad. Everyone in chat's like james. No He just he just told james like, okay, I come over with some coffee. He's like, yeah, sure What an odd thing to put credits Yeah, I guess he thought it was a funny blooper Fard Muhammad That's a hilarious name music from youtube library. I could tell Twitter link. All right. Yeah, we still got 20 seconds Yeah minute and 20 seconds. What are you gonna do with this time? I instagram See all of our videos of channels and talk about sweet loving it Oh, oh, you're right We still got a minute Michael I feel like I think I feel like god sent that hurricane any one of them to suffer so I'm not gonna get between God's plan. So there you go. Yeah Let him out in black powers Wow I guess that's a normal placement. I was just thinking like would you want to put that before credits though? I don't know Maybe want to separate it out. Do you everyone knows youtube charity money doesn't go to charity. It's coke money It's coke and horror money What about all the Pepsi, buddy? Anyway, I do have to go. Um, so I guess we'll be back in a couple hours Yes, and you shall see us play little hope. That's Doc pictures spooky. Um, see them ragas. Goodbye. Yeah, I'll see you in just a little bit. We'll play our spooky So goodbye everybody. I shall see you later Good boy. Good talking with you. Yeah. Yes Bye. Bye Well, well, so what I'm gonna do is read out 35 minutes of superchats And then I will save the rest and rags now we'll have to do a big old catch up to them um And I will pass you over youtube Uh, ifa mola chat to mola chat, which is um a quieter yet wonderful place Um, and you're gonna watch us watch extraterrestrial while we prepare for a different stream entirely Yeah, plenty of fun today, you know, it's a whole ifa adventure and we finally covered nostalgia critic. It was um worse than I thought it would be That was the first time I'd ever seen it So he just he's really bad at it Um Barely any criticisms and it's it's interesting to me that he spends most of it making jokes, but at the end he has this sort of You know, let's have a serious talk a second. This film does this You know, like you haven't really earned this it feels like you just fucking around most of the time Then you're like, okay, seriously, though, this film just fucks up in this way this way. It's like, oh All right, then Um, yeah, unfortunately darkness falls. I won't be able to do any coverage of that We'll try maybe on the beginning of the next ifap to talk about it. Um But uh, yeah, things rang a little longer than than expected. It's just van helsing, you know, just so much to talk about What might you do has a lot to talk about too, though Like there's there's stuff to say Yeah, there is Just we haven't got enough time to fit it all into the day of spooks God damn it. It's a film. I would recommend it's it's Schlock of the highest order, but uh, and there's some it's a very fun good shit in there It's kind of like van helsing, but in a completely different genre. I don't know. Yes If you know how to dig through it, there is some there's some meaty archetypal stuff there that works and They did good stuff. They did good stuff. Yeah, they even like to get I mean it was for a Shitty horror film, you know in that genre of shitty horror film You like expect to pick up in in a dollar bin somewhere. Uh, it was I thought it was good All right, then I was thinking of of playing a game on dolphin But literally I'm only gonna it's only gonna be half an hour So we'll we'll do what we can with just bouncing off each other. All right And in fact, I'm gonna have to stop bringing super chats about uh 10 minutes before that To make sure everybody can talk about their channels a little bit, you know Yeah, can't be more Russian past So, uh, how does the e-fap crew feel about Sean Connery because uh, there's if there's positive takes on him I got bad news for y'all. So hello raggleton Yeah, he's he's passed away. Unfortunately. We did talk a bit about it at the beginning of the stream Um, some of our favorite roles from him Shall be missed and uh Yeah, the you know, it'll be fun to see him in some stuff going forward just to be like hey Sean Connery Good I know he was 90 Yeah Hey, yeah, it's often early. It's like once you get to 90 people or less It's more like you had a good long life. Good good for you. Yeah. Yeah Uh, who did invisibility better hollow man invisible man or predator? Predator predator. Yeah Predator wins Also e-fap movies the mummy with tom cruise So I will be if you invite me. I I think um The thing with that one. I think I told someone is the only film I stopped watching I really ever stopped watching a film and I got bored and annoyed in the opening and I was like Fuck it. I could do something else. Like it wasn't like an anger thing. I was just like, uh, this is gonna be really bad And I've been told is really bad But I mean if I'm with you know, some friends to help me through until we we could get some fun out of it So, yeah, big maybe on that one Um Hail zack snider I wonder how everyone's waiting for that snider cut, you know, that's the hour goes Is is that out already? Not yet. No, uh next year, I think Not sure when but definitely next year I don't know how that came and went. Are they releasing it like episodic or something like that? I think so Uh, but not quite yet. I don't know if it's like in one big go Or if it's gonna be like all the episodes at once or all the episodes over has been in time, but I think it's gonna be a big experiment for them if it goes well They'll probably do more stuff like they'll have to transition a bit, you know, because movies Not not getting the engagement they want. It's it's crazy to me that corona virus is what killed like theaters Because you already were in in danger and like this this whole thing is like, well We've just been fast-tracked to the next part of evolution for theaters now Mm-hmm. Although it's kind of interesting because I saw a couple of theaters opened up a couple months ago here in Florida And some of them are playing some classics like the original Jurassic Park and everything Yeah, like fill in some of the theaters because there wasn't a whole lot of new stuff lately. Obviously. It's kind of cool That's neat The Jurassic Park is a pimp movie The visual effects are still fucking good. Like he's good impressive The direction tonald has three videos to catch up on I didn't know if he does have three cooking videos Shit. Oh, no, he's got one cooking video. I think he has another one But the steak sandwich and then I think he's got another one on watch dogs legion Oh, okay. Um was the was the Because it's the sarin one the sandwich one I don't know if there was a third one that we haven't watched yet, but we'll get around to it in terms of cooking We've had lots of stuff free if I have to cover, you know, we he made big at sandwiches. That's that's amazing. Yeah, yeah A nostalgia critic better not be talking smack about van Helsing. That movie is a masterpiece of dumb. I agree and Honestly, his review could have been so much better. He should have worked with the movie more, I think Like like all this all the material the movie provides Yeah, no happy halloween rags are bipod grips recommended Well, I will grab that question for him Ah F for Sean Connery in Deedarune Mutes I know you hate me for stepping Stepping to Bly, but I'm still a big fan and I'll be sending you something pretty soon Been working on it for months now when the time comes. How can I reach you? Um, I don't have a way to send me stuff like a p.o. Box or anything Uh, I kind of plan to do it at some point, but I haven't done it yet Uh So there's not really a way to send me stuff. I'm afraid. I know rags As it's set up. I believe Um Yeah, I'm not not sure about that. I just um, I'm assuming it's something physical so it can't work in like a Providing it digitally sort of thing. So I'm afraid I don't really have a a great answer for that one Um, does homework count towards my final efap grade? Yes, though. This is the first instance of homework for efap and I doubt there'll be one again for a while So this was all of the work. There will be a test. Did you do it? And it's yes or no Um, you guys watched critters. I don't think I have Years ago Man Yes, I like why is rags chattel always linked. He's doing videos anymore, right? It's like he it's been a while But yes, he's he's been a year a big video is coming out. Okay I don't want to talk obviously, but yeah Just want to remind people his whole batwoman one got like nuked because his hard drive exploded like it's I just don't like this narrative. It's like oh, he's finally doing videos again. It's like what happens when you make longmans They take a long time Fucking six months to make my tfa part four and everyone's already like, oh, I guess you're not making them anymore Yeah Um, but yeah, no, I've not seen critters It's really terribly Okay Why can't you feel like other youtubers and shit out of movie every single day? Well, I mean if they watch efap This month been coming out crazy amounts though. This is not this is unusual. Okay guys Don't expect three e-faps per week. That is not normal. Yes, please. Please We love spooky month Yeah, I'm very happy by the way that the work of the two artists that work together to make out a little efap Sort of logo and set up here got got lots of time in spooktober like seven episodes worth of this Going back to the regular one. In fact, I should be doing that in just two hours from now So continuity wise will be fine. I won't be screwing it up because we'll be offline by then Do we have a christmas one already? Not yet, but I'm hoping to get that done before we hit, uh, december 1st, of course Of course, of course three e-faps a week is the new standard. Oh god 70 e-faps a week. I don't know about that See, let's I don't know Um You should also cover nostalgia critics ghostbusters 2016 review He said that it's okay and has a long skit about how old fans should accept new content Well, we do Uh, just not shit stuff, you know just to be next with the new content was actually fucking good Please that'd be that'd be nice. No kidding. Yeah, the ghostbusters 2016's comedy was, um Well, I don't know if that's a fair categorization. I feel like saying it's comedy is a bit, you know I have a hard time editing that like because I was just I had a hard time But funny goop Funny goop man You are all bigots. You've internalized your misogyny. That's why you hate that No You got me Your unconscious bias is showing that's true. Oh where? Grab it Happy halloween masses. There it is. Look out. Oh, it's eating my face Monster hunter willed and the knight watching movies with the girly friend. I hope you guys have a spooktacular halloween Wow choosing to spend time with your significant other instead of watching e-fap. What is that about? cringe Nobody said happy halloween. Why doesn't anyone say sexy halloween? Sexy halloween. Also, wait, I've already read one out that said happy halloween. I didn't listen to that one So that one doesn't count obviously Um even frictional has let down the long man. That yeah, it was not expected not at all but um I like the dashboard who has the context for that just listening to us like rent for hours. That was that was amazing like Even though I couldn't really take part. It was just amazing to listen to and how fucking pissed you guys were at the end It's really bad And it's funny because if you watch me playing it, that's what happens when I have maximum benefit of the doubt when playing something I think is kind of shit. I am doing everything I can to be like look it's That of deja talk probably ruined my sleeve shirt all the worst Why would it be that one rather than the beamfab that we recorded an hour later? Because And then the beamfab after it's like that fucked me up, dude. Yeah, and then my my power went out All right, that happens too It's like, oh it's monday. I guess I'll go to yeah four or five a.m Happily wean mohler halloween is superior holiday chris noids get bent. Oh, so true How dare How many chris noids are actually with us right now? I forget who everyone voted for Yeah, which one are the chris noids? I am firmly in the chris miss a family Okay, don't you john? I don't remember Uh, sorry, what was the question? Wait, have you done the choice for halloween? For halloween, is your oh, oh, I I I have done this before I said uh christmas Good Oh, yeah, you are listed there Everyone can make their choices. I'm not gonna hold it. So it's it's it's okay, john. I still love rb in the chief Happy halloween fellas and they got a pumpkin a ghost a vampire and a wolf terrified Christmas has got a special feel to it for me. I got a personal attachments to I mean, I assume this morning's, you know, I assume anyone's choice is based on personal reasons I don't know. Yeah, why why else right like For sure for sure, but I asked this question a while ago are not that long ago Um, is there any good christmas games any video games that you Point to immediately that you would play on christmas sonic adventure had a christmas dlc for station square There you go Say that's the thing though. It's like it's always dlc. Why is there not a mainstay game that is devoted to christmas? I I have no idea why they haven't done anything yet For this sort of cleanup detail It's like we don't hang you don't need to hang wreaths and put a christmas tree on an existing game It's like that's just kind of cheating. I think christmas deserves a little better than that Even as a halloween poison myself feel like the game christmas is really getting the uh the shaft on that I'm just holy shit. I checked my like Sub box everyone's streaming Yeah, no one's going out anymore. So Yeah um I have a few christmas movie suggestions for you guys how the grinch stole christmas Jim carrey tim allen santa claus trilogy and home alone one and two So I will be forcing efat movies jingle all the way that is happening 100 because that's like my favorite christmas movie Or at least one of them. It's it's so it's just christmas. It's all christmas But as for what else we might try and do I think this year we'll try and record them a little earlier So that we can get some stuff out on on instead of just because we we've got Technically other spooky movies to watch but we just haven't gone around to it. So we might this Even record them this year and then not actually bring them out until next year So that it's thematically appropriate, you know be getting one. I don't see why we Exactly, I don't see why I couldn't just extend halloween into november, honestly Well, the thing is this is the november is the month that they wore but over christmas is tendrils Like try to spread as far back as they can And as someone pointed out on reddit that I saw it was a very highly Appreciated posts like whether or not you like halloween. Can you please appreciate that it acts as a gatekeeper for christmas covering the whole year? It's like you cannot pass It's true, but I think we should go a step further as halloween people moller You're really gonna It's are you really going to succeed that much ground to christmas? Well, I said it's the war zone they battle over and the thing is It's a fair battle to have for halloween because christmas gets to have january most of the time people are still like Oh christmas eat isms in the first few days of january Extend halloween into december. Yeah, that's that's fair. I like that. Yeah, I could do that um Stop posting so much content. I can't keep up. You'll be all right. It's gonna slow back down a bit more You will survive Just real quick cinderbite brings up the division which is probably a great option for a actually is I have played the division and it is happening during christmas not a whole lot of festive stuff going on But you kind of feel it like Yeah, I really feel christmas in despair and they do a Great job with the snow in that game. By the way, the snow looks fucking amazing. I love that game I have hundreds of hours, maybe thousands in the division You guys don't think the division is very much in opposition to what christmas is all about Plague it's the real world now man. All right. Yeah, it's true dude be divided Uh phenomenal idea molly. Yes cover plinket on episode one six six Well, we finally got around to nostalgia critic. Maybe we'll maybe that's e-fap sort of thing It'll just explode the second we've covered all of the major content creators. Yeah. Yeah, maybe Like your work cover plinket stuff a lot. We've never come to like a lot of the stuff He says well, that's the thing he's a partial inspiration for my channel Though that doesn't mean I agree with everything he says I suppose and and people want us to cover I think at least one of the prequel videos is what they want us to do Oh, I see. Yeah, so maybe one day You should cover nostalgia critics to lord of the rings videos the old vs new and the top 11 dumbest He has some takes even back then I was like, well, that's wrong That could be the next nostalgia critic episode we cover I think Checking out if he's got problems with lord the rings. That's one of our you're not allowed to be mean to lord the rings You know, that's Dare I say it lord the rings is more sacred than van helsing. Yeah That's somebody bring somebody brings up dead rising four for christmas. I guess that's fair too Even though dead rising four was not that good at all whatsoever I haven't played the fourth one and I'm a huge dead rising fan I want the world to be wrong and I want dead rising four to be a secret good game And I'm just being lied to but I feel like I'm going to be very disappointed playing it But whether or not it was good, it is a true answer to my question. So I appreciate that Dead space three continued the genre shift like aliens did from horror to action A hardcore horror fans didn't like it, but gameplay was solid and caught was fun Yeah, I think that most people consider that to what what happened to dead space is it It lost the the horror element quite significantly and was much more mainstream action focused Yes, I remember finding the third one so odd when I played it. I was like, this is dead space Do you remember when like near the beginning you got chest high walls and you're fighting guys with guns and it's like, what the hell? Yeah, it feels so odd It's true that dead space two sucked out the humor or the the horror from the first one But like dead space two is like to me the perfect mix of action and horror Like I would put it around red resin evil four I think that would be good. I think people tend to say like it's like bio shock It's the second one mechanics kind of improved, but the sort of feel Atmosphere or whatever of the first game has been diminished a tad Isn't the opening of dead space to a guy like tries to save you and he turns into a necromancer in front of you And the whole fucking cameras filled with like And then and then you're running through a hallway full of demented monsters and they're all trying to kill you Yeah And then dead space three is basically resident evil five Yes, that's true Which is not it, which is not too bad. I actually enjoyed dead space three even though it was easily the weakest of the three I still enjoyed it. I put a ridiculous amount of hours into resident evil five. I mean that story is stupid as fuck It's so fun. I love resident evil five. I'm sorry Dude, I just got it for switch with the motion controls. It's fucking awesome to play it On the switch. Wow. All right. Yeah You play it with a pro controller with the gyro. It's fucking awesome And it has it's got multiplayer co-op and everything and it's still active. So Yeah, I still prefer the mouse Still prefer the mouse although the keyboard's really jank when you're trying to do the qte's funny Funnily enough when i'm playing rizzi five Um, if I know the cut scene with qte's are coming up I actually have to pick my controller up to do them and then set it back down when i'm done. It's So stupid Game suggestion for molon rags red dead redemption two you don't have to play the first since it's a prequel You'll fall in love with the characters open world and activities. Give it a shot Isn't it like super cut scene and mega linear? Well Um, yeah So that's a game where i'm like it kind of is something I do really want to play And I've heard really good things from lots of different people. There's like that is quite a time commitment. Um And and it's just a big world and and it's just like yeah, I'm a little spooked by how it can't be something i'm You know even though the loss of us two is like 20 hours, but red dead redemption two is average completion time is probably what like Way bigger than that. It's at least 50 hours. Yeah um And that'd be like just pushing with none of the side stuff at all doing just the main stuff would be 40 50 hours easy So yeah, I've heard it's good, but um, I don't know when I will play it in my lifetime exactly But I do kind of want to at some point Uh average 48 hours apparently hey only for the main story I really enjoyed playing red dead redemption two and I got two thirds of the way through I think and I just got so fucking bored riding my horse Around from one thing to another that I went on youtube and I just watched the rest of the campaign On yeah, and it's a good story. The ending is fucking awesome, but I was just so tired of the gameplay at that point Hmm Tunneled me to lord of the rings cooking video as I said in his comments tuneled of the ring iraq's and metal Hello And good evening maulsley. Hello Yeah, I know I'll be interested to see that one on e-fap more than likely um This one just says I know he won't I don't know what it is, but I agree with you I will I will I will do it. He's gonna he's gonna do it. Yeah, fuck you up. Huh? Oh my god, huh? Why'd you got to be so violent? Fuck you, man Uh mola will you play the halo master chief collection with rags or alone? Uh alone is recommended They put that in brackets recommended When halo 4 comes out, so I think once they're all out, we're gonna try and organize some form of a playthrough Um, they're all co-op right like even the first one. It's just two player Uh, thanks. Oh in which case. Yeah, we'd like to do that and maybe john could join us for some of those. Who knows I'd love that. Yeah. I'm not sure about how many players are allowed like across like whether it's all games allow four player co-op Or just two player co-op I need to I'm curious about that. Um Yeah, you you like kind of like halo sort of right a little bit just sort of Just a little bit. I think so me. Yeah You think it's all right a little bit a little bit a little familiar Although I don't I don't like it. I think as much as people think that I would assume probably like Yeah, like I think People think I'm like a halo super fan And I I am a huge fan of the first game and the second game the third one pretty good Kind of kind of fell short a little bit not by much after that. I just kind of dwindled off for me to be honest It's two left a sour spot in my mouth because of the health system That was the first introduction to that kind of health system and I hated it Yeah The rebounding health system that was the first game I'd ever played with it and it It soured the taste of my mouth. Although like, you know, looking back some of the scenes and some of the parts and Good shit. Good shit, you know, the best halo experience that I've had recently Including the mcc is There's a mod for counter strike called noble And there is a halo mode that you can do in that That I did a video with a guy called war owl on and it's really Really, really cool to go in and do these you know I don't know it feels more like the old school halo did then then mcc does now right And it was it was fantastic. Super fun. So I'm hoping that we can get that when they do release for in mcc, but Udumbos need to play observer system redux the remaster out on november 10th plays rickahawa cyberpunk settings psychological horror enough said I am they're doing a remaster. That's cool because I the game isn't even that old, right? It's like 2015 or something around there 16 maybe So far, I have the game Yeah, it's a lot of people recommended it. Um Thanks to what was the game they said it was like Soma, I feel like oh, yeah, so that's the connection. Yeah, soma while I was playing soma. Yeah Yeah, um, hey, well, yeah, maybe that'll be how I get into playing it through its remaster. Why not? Um, yeah Keep an eye Since it is halloween, I must recommend helsing ultimate a raw and unique take on bram stoker's dracula That's an anime, right? I think so. Yeah, whenever I see something that's nice with that. I'm like, it's gotta be anime Yes Um, yeah, maybe can't wait for christmas and it's awesome infinite songs. Oops. Sorry halloweeners I forgot you guys have like one or two songs. It's okay. Don't be ashamed I don't know that you have an argument when you're talking about christmas songs because jesus christ Everyone hates them because they get put on me. Yeah, I don't I don't know if that's a point in its favor And who doesn't love spooky scary skeletons Like the best thing ever. Okay. Yeah, you like mariah carry The weather outside is weather. Yeah Weather outside is weather It's true The fire is so weather Let it weather Someone will get that reference and that person is awesome Damn it. I'm shit once again Um, have you guys seen the spooktober calendar on efab.me? It's extremely cool. Happy halloween all and also We showed it it's fucking great Go go check out efab.me for all of your efab information hosted very kindly by kibikins. Thank you very much On one of six you covered 8080 shortly after we on ecum did and now nostalgia critic for the first time after we did What are you copying us also? Um, you know coincidences can happen, but perhaps coincidence Sometimes things are better to be forgotten. I'm just gonna keep saying that it's a reliable catchphrase. Yeah. Yeah Uh, fringy sounds like an australian peter griffin I don't know about that. I don't know. I think you would be offended if you heard that uh j for eda Um Oh, uh, maybe maybe one day Because you know, they thought it was j go on eda before ecum because uh another one says j for ecum when J's j's getting all kinds of invites eda ecum Uh, he's obviously a regular on efap. So plenty of options Um, oh and nostalgia critic star wars and deadpool two videos are efat worthy from what I recall His arguments weren't well made and worst of all weren't funny No way Just Crazy Uh, yeah Yeah, I feel like we're going to keep our dose of nostalgia critic low It took 109 episodes for one video and I feel like we might keep that around that level You're sure you're not going to just start binging them now. Oh, it's so tempting. You know, I don't think you could Uh Just finished a 16 hour bar shift to find out actually caught with my first ever live stream. What did you do this to me? It's a gift a spooky gift Yeah Keeps on giving Also, yeah, we're cutting it. All right. You got six minutes left. I think in a couple more of these I'm just gonna do a little Little bit of an outro Actually wait who think we'll sit to just do the the channel plugging and then go back to reading them until I can anymore That makes sense Which means Um, well who wants to go first, you know, it's such a great little selection Um, past Yes, we'll go. Oh wow really I was gonna say start on the left Pass fuck. I mean is that it's not official That's that's pass. All right, then John well, it's funny because you'll be back in like two hours john What do you get up to and why should they subscribe? um, I make rb in the chief and uh, I stream sometimes and uh, my channel is digital fear on youtube P a smash smash that subscribe button And like and hit the notification bell and all the All the the things, you know Yes, that's right three three are right Yes, that's right threes instead of ease because I'm very cool The edge you're gonna cut yourself be careful. Yeah Careful with that edge Got to smash that button until it breaks and you can no longer subscribe to him. I would be unfortunate actually Mashed it isms. That's what you asked him to do um Well, yeah, I guess we'll we'll go further along the line that that metal guy What do you want to plug Mel? Because you're gonna do one. It's the rules youtube or twitch But you do both though there are both of the times No, shut up Shut up You know what I do You can go to the youtubes. There's my streamenheimers there from the the twitch Find me there most of the time actually all the times because I do the stream And then mupply is there sometimes rag is all the all the bassups can just fucking turn up all the time Also, when we do the gaming in a couple of hours, I'm gonna go live myself because there's like multiple Angles going on so Unless we get teamed up mupply and I you should probably see different angles I really hope that doesn't happen because that will be kind of dumb I imagine they'll split them differently and then in different groups sometimes because they'll probably from what we Fuck it. Whatever. We'll deal with it when we get to it. It's gonna be weird Yeah, because I have to feel like they give you a random just a randy Yeah, they might actually randomize who we get to play as which is so lame So just kind of hope you get the one group and I get into the other group. So you have like the two Sides for multiple times. There will be there will be neat. But yeah, I'm gonna stream that over there Uh, just uh 100 something short of 3000 followers. So that's kind of exciting There you go And what are you doing 3000 naked or? I'm always naked, but yeah, I'll be more naked. So no, I don't have anything special planned I probably just do like a little drunken hammer stream as I as I do And yeah, and I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna go back to my genre 2 video When all the spooky tisms is over so Can't wait to watch that fucking shit show again Anyway, the next one I like you to try and run right over that chat's gonna be so upset with you They didn't know that that's how you felt about that Oh, they know they're very well every you know what I mean next one Naked stream to it. Um All right, and m what are you up to on your channel? Um, hi, I'm m or moriarty or crime more or doom sausage guy or any other number of things that you might know me as I make videos about psychology and math and video games primarily In this stream, I mentioned a video about among us where I talked about the psychology history and math of social deduction games and um If you love me share me on reddit because nobody fucking does that It's really really goddamn hard to get anybody to see my tiny little channel. So if you like me share me somewhere do it Give it to me. There we go. We did it all of us now except for rags subscrizzled to wriggles Scooby just said but you said you'd play dark souls 2 again. That's a 10,000 followers So you have to put in a little bit more work for that one I've lost all respect for you battle. This is an utter embarrassment on your part choosing to be blinded by hate Never thought who's more of an idiot your critique support is true It's true. He just doesn't enjoy john wick and why we will never know Um, all right, we got like I'm gonna let it run a little bit into so we got like 60 seconds. Okay. All right I see. Oh, no, there it is again. You can shake some poor Uh, happy halloween your talk of soma reminded me of the robot that can leave to be x Uh, electrocuted his blood curdling screams will haunt me forever That one moment is better than anything in amnesia the rebirth. Unfortunately They just changed How they did it also quick link e fat movies. Well, I mean, I guess yeah, okay Well, I'll just talk about how that's that's about to happen. So e fat movies is about to go live With uh yms looking at extraterrestrial. Obviously, it's a pre-recorded thing. It's not like live live live. Um I'm gonna link you guys the url If you hadn't been subscribed to moola, that'd be weird, but um, you know, it happens And you channel the cringe it'll be it'll be going up in any minute now So I want you all to just fucking jump over essentially, you know That's how it is and then we will be going offline and then by the time that's finished and you've had a little walk around You know done your things here and there we will be back and we will be uh playing a video game for spooky ween And yeah extraterrestrial, I don't know if you guys have seen it because I don't think anybody has quite a movie That is a movie all right quite a movie A movie Oh, you know, I could probably put it on screen actually. Let's see if I can This is so weird. I'm gonna be streaming e-fap And it's not even an old video. It's brand new e-fap There you are See this Everybody it is linked in the chat Jump over there. They'll take care of you meanwhile for us We're gonna be uh, we're gonna be switching off. I'm gonna grab all the super chats that have been missed I mean rag's gonna have to do a big old catch-up Probably wednesday that is gonna be the plan. Oh, there you go. It's starting how terrifying. Oh my god Um, but yeah, those mula fans who are like wait, there's an e-fap happening right now and they're streaming this horrifying Um, yeah, I don't you know, I wouldn't want to ruin it by watching it on e-fap That would just be that would make no sense. So yeah Thank you all for for the kind donations the keeping us company and chatting and thank you all the guests for hanging out It's um, been a good first part of three of spooky ween Damn right It's been wonderful. Thanks for having me. This was awesome. Thanks everyone. Yeah, it's good to have you Yeah, it's good to have you all no problemo. Happy halloween Yeah Everyone I can tell you why I felt like doing that. I just you know, whatever Watch out for skeletons. There could be one inside you right now Don't you have a heart? No Don't you have a skeleton? I don't actually I might do Um, all right then. Good night everyone. Goodbye. Bye See you Oh melly, do you even say bye spark? Oh, Jesus I should see uh, that's better. No Objectivism