 So next up we've got another instructor from daygame.com, John Matrix. He's an executive instructor. I think he's got an awesome video for us. I'm looking forward to that. He's known for his chilled style and he's taught daygame in London, New York, and Oslo. So let's welcome John to the stage. Hi guys, I'm John Matrix. I work for daygame.com alongside Tom Terereo. And I want to start today by saying that what I'm going to tell you today is probably going to be a bit controversial because I'm going to tell you that a lot of the stuff that you've heard and a lot of these videos that you've seen on YouTube of guys approaching girls during the day, a lot of that is flat out wrong. And you know, you're probably thinking, well, why should I listen to this guy? What does he know? So I'm going to tell you a little bit about my story. Tell you about my style. And then I'm going to explain why this is the case. And then a little bit later on, I'm going to show you one of my videos so that you can see what I'm talking about and see it in action. So who is John Matrix? Well, you know, you probably look at me and you think, okay, decent looking guy was probably always really, really good with women. But that just wasn't the case, you know, looks, it helps to be good looking. But if you don't have any confidence, you don't know how to talk to women, it doesn't make a bit of difference at all. So I went through most of my life, the first 29 years of my life, I'm 31 now, the first 29 years of my life with basically very sparse, a very sparse sort of sex life. You know, I saw a couple of girls when I was in my teens, a couple in my 20s, but I never ever approached a girl in my life. Never. And I mean, day game wasn't even something that I thought was possible. So for me to meet a girl, it would have to be in a, you know, in a bar or club. There wasn't any other, any other way to do it. I was very socially awkward, just uncomfortable, generally. Anytime I was around women, I'd just close up, you know, I'd go out with my friends to a club and I'd stand there the whole night with my arms folded with a scowl on my face. And then I'd wonder why I go home alone. And I couldn't, I couldn't get my head around it. And it's just like, I don't understand why don't girls like me just didn't make sense. And then as I started to get into this stuff, I realized that women don't think like men at all when it comes to attraction. You know, as a man, you see a really hot, a hot girl, you're immediately attracted to her. And you, you know, you're going to want to have sex with her basically no matter what, she'd have to be a pretty horrible person for you to not want to have sex with her. And even then, if she's a 10, you know, but with women, it's completely different. Their attraction to you is based mostly on your personality, your charm, your charisma. You can go up to a girl and to begin with, she's not that attracted to you. And then by the way that you behave and by your personality and your aura, your charisma, you can make her very, very attracted to you very quickly. And that's why we're lucky as men, because we can become more attractive to women when it's not at all based on our looks. Women aren't so lucky, unfortunately, you know. And for them, once the signs of fertility are gone as they get older, they lose their attractiveness as men, we get more attractive as we get older. So now I'm going to talk a little bit about my style of pickup and where I got it from and how it came about. So with Daygame, I found out about it through a friend. He showed me a couple of videos, explained what it was about. He took me out into the streets. And I actually remember the first time I went out, it took me 45 minutes to do my first approach. I was that nervous, I was that scared. But I said to myself, I can do this. I've just got to put the time, put the effort in. And I'm a very motivated person when it's something I really want. So this was something that I'd really, really wanted my whole life and I'd never had it. So I thought, right, let's just do this. Let's just put the effort in, put the time in and we'll see what happens. And then I met with Yad. I did some training with Yad. I incorporated a lot of his ideas and a lot of his style. So to begin with, it was almost like I was copying him. But then eventually what happens is you develop your own style. So now maybe I still have, there's a couple of things I kind of do like Yad, but it's changed. The rest of it has changed into my style. And I feel like I've come up with a style that suits me perfectly. And I think it's one of the most effective styles that you can have. Now, a lot of guys, when they watch, if they were to watch a video of me, I don't know on YouTube or whatever, the first thing they're going to say is like, wow, this is really boring. Where's the attraction? What's going on? Why isn't she laughing? Why isn't he spinning around? Where's all the jokes? But what somebody like that, when they're saying those things, what they're missing is the subtleties of what makes a good pickup. It's got to be natural. That's the key to it. It's like you've really got to, you've got to show her that you're a normal guy. Definitely you need to attract her. But the moment she thinks you're trying to attract her, you're going out of your way to try and make her laugh. Attraction's gone. And for me, that's really, that's what it boils down to. So when I said most of what you've been told and the videos that you've seen are wrong, what I'm saying is it's about defining what attraction is and why she's attracted. So if you think going up to a girl, making a load of crazy jokes, getting all these big laughs out of high-fiving, spinning around, if you think, wow, great, she's attracted, then fine. But do you think she's going to want to go on a date with you? Do you think she's going to answer a text? And it's like a process you go through when you learn this stuff. To begin with, you're really, really nervous and you can't even approach a girl. And it's painful and it's awkward and you hate it. And this goes on for quite a while. It can go on for weeks or months. But if you keep going, eventually what will happen is your anxiety, your approach anxiety and your fear will disappear. And what happens then is that turns into excitement. And this definitely happened for me. I remember when I was doing training with Yad, the first time I went out with Yad, I watched Yad for a few hours. And then I started doing some approaches afterwards. And I literally felt like chains had been taken off me. And I was just talking off the top of my head. But I was really energetic and excited and happy. And that's fine because it's natural for you to feel like that. But what you need to realize is that... So let's say that nervous and being nervous and fearful is like the beginner. Being really excited and going in with all this high energy because you... Basically because you can. It's like saying, look at me. I can go up to this girl. I've got no fear. Look, I can do all this stuff. Wow, this is crazy. For me, that's the intermediate level. Now, the sign of an advanced guy or an expert is when you just tone that down and it just becomes chilled. So if you're watching an approach and the guy is confident, but at the same time, he's not hyper-excited. He's not cracking loads of jokes. He's not laughing himself. That's the sign for me. That's the sign of an expert. And that's kind of like I feel the process that that's what happened with me. I went through a period of where I was getting really excited. I was going into set and just because it felt so good because I could suddenly do this now. But what you've really got to understand is that you need... The next level from that is about toning it down. It's about finding that perfect balance between attraction and comfort because too much attraction or only attraction and you become the clown. So she has a great time. She's laughing. Wow, this is fantastic. But she's thinking like, wow, if I go on a date with this guy, is this how it's going to be for the whole date? She's definitely feeling stuff. She's laughing. She's enjoying it. But when she thinks about it, she'll go away and she'll just be like, wow, that was crazy. But that was fine. Let's leave it at that. Do I really want to see this guy again? I don't know. And the other extreme is only comfort. Now, if you approach a girl and you don't do any attraction and you just go straight into report, you become Mr. Nice Guy and she'll happily stand there, be polite with you, have a nice chat with you. But she's not going to feel anything. She's going to go away and she's going to think, oh, that was a nice chat. Nice guy. And then five minutes later, she's forgotten you. So both of these two extremes don't work in my opinion. What you need is to find a balance between the two. So your jokes, they need to be more subtle. You're teasing. It needs to be subtle. I mean, my style is sarcastic. That's kind of, it's like the English style of humor. That would be the sort of jokes that I would make. And they're the same jokes that I would make when I'm with my friends. And that's how you need to talk to these girls. You need to go up to a girl that you've never met before and you need to talk to her like she's your best friend. And immediately when you can do that and you just assume familiarity with them, it makes them so comfortable. It really does. And it's about not censoring yourself. It's just about talking off the top of your head, not planning what you're going to say, taking the piss out of her. Just being playful. But doing it in a way where you're not trying to do it, if that makes sense. You can't go out of your way to be this way. It's got to come from a place of strength inside you. So it's not something that you can just get immediately. In order to do these things, you need to be really, really in the moment. And this is going back to what Tom was talking about earlier about flow state. You've really got to be in the moment to be able to tease a girl, to spot in that moment where there's a point where you think, okay, I can call her out on this. She's just made a mistake in what she was saying, bang, going to tease her. And something that I've noticed I do in my sets, and I didn't realise this at first, but it's something actually that Tom pointed out to me, is I continuously alternate. I flip between comfort and attraction all the way through the set. So it kind of keeps the girl on her toes. So one minute she's thinking, this is a nice guy. Okay, I'm enjoying this. And then suddenly bang, tease her. And she's like, Oh, is he hitting on me? Is he teasing me? And then back to comfort and then back to attraction. But it's something that it comes with experience. It's taken me what I've been doing this for two and a half years now. And probably I reckon, as Tom was saying, it was when we got back from Oslo last year, that was when things really started to click for me. And I found myself just feeling like I'm on all the time. I can be just completely relaxed, no anxiety. I can tease the girl. I can make her comfortable with me. And that's what it's all about really. Okay, can we play the video, please? Excuse me. Sorry, can I tell you something really quickly? Okay, I just literally walked past you. And I thought you looked really nice. And I wanted to come over and say hello. Oh, sorry, I'm French. I'm not here for a long time. Okay, don't need to apologize. I'll tell you what I noticed, because you looked, I actually thought you were Spanish, because you got a nice tan. Yes, I am originally from Spain. And then you lived in France? Yes. And you're on holiday? Internship. Internship? Yes. Okay, so you're working in an office? Yes. Fair enough. I do prospecting and photo-opening customers. Okay, and you get paid? Sorry? You don't get paid before it, do you? I don't understand. Do you get paid? Money, they give you money? No, no, no. It's experience. Okay, fair enough. What sort of company is it? It's Makeover and Designs. Makeup? Makeover and Designs. Okay, so people's makeovers or helpers? No, no, no. It's a design of wedding cards. Wedding cards. Okay, that must be fun for a girl. Do women love weddings? Yes. Naturally, but it is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, because I mean, I've actually never been to France, if you can believe that. I'm probably one of them. No, no, no. You have to go to France. Everybody in England has been to France except me, but I've never been. Yeah, you have to go to France. But what I've found, what I've found on what I've heard is that French people can be quite rude, especially from Paris. They kind of look, they look down their nose at you a little bit. No. But no, you know what? It's perspective. Compared to some places, London is a rude. Compared to other places, London is a really friendly. Like when Scandinavian people come here, they say that London is really friendly. Yes, but I think people... You're not leading the way, so please. I think people... I think with French people, though, is they don't like outsiders. So, if somebody goes to Paris and they're not from Paris, then they're not very accommodating. You understand? Okay, they don't like people who come from the outside. They like their own people. Yes. You know? No. I'm sorry. My English is so bad. Yeah. But the English that you speak is actually okay. Yes. But you just don't understand a lot of the words that I'm saying. Yes. I am looking for a TV series to learn English. Okay. And I don't know where I can find it. A TV series? Yes. What do you mean? Like an educational thing, or you just want to watch TV? No. Watch TV. Watch a series. No. Yeah. Well, there's loads. I am looking for a gossip girl. Gossip girl? Yes. What? How are you looking? Online? I want to buy a TV series. Oh, I see. I see. Okay. I understand. I don't know. I've never seen gossip girl, so I don't know. But I'm guessing you could probably find it online. You've got a laptop. You could find it and watch it for free online, probably. Which websites? Oh, I don't know. But if you just put it into Google, watch gossip girl online free. It will come up with some stuff, probably. I don't know. I have to go and send for each. Yeah. I've just noticed now all your stuff. This, this, this. Are you like a rock chick? Sorry? Are you like a rock chick? Why is it? You're into rock music. Rock music, yes. That's what this stuff tells me. Maybe heavy metal. It's maisteil. Huh? It's maisteil. Okay. But do you know what you need to go with that? It's like a leather jacket and jeans. Yes. And some boots. Yes. You're dressed, you're dressed kind of in a... I have the boots. Yeah, you've got the boots. But you need a bit more like, yeah, like jeans, leather jacket, motorbike, you know? Sometimes I wear jeans and jacket, but not today because it's a sunny day. Yeah, you, yeah. Although you do see some people around that wear like loads of layers in this lazy sunshine. So what part of France are you from? You're actually from Paris. Paris, yeah. Headquartered around Paris. You knew France. Not really, but go on. The name of the city is Samarth. Samarth? Yes. No, I don't know. Is it in the north or the south? It's, sorry? South. It's in the south? What is south? North, south, west, east. Oh, east, okay. Yes. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, yeah. I've got a couple of French friends, actually. And they're both women and they tell me they love it when they hear English men trying to speak French. Okay, so try to speak French. English men can't pronounce the air. Yes, okay. I can do it, but I either overdo it too much and it comes out like... My name's Foie. Foie. Foie. Okay, it's good. Bonjour. Yes. It's good? Yes. It's hard for an English person, because most English people can't go ha. They can't make the sounds, you know? I think when you try to speak another language, it is hard for everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I can't. I mean, I did French at school for like two years, but I can't really speak French. French is very hard. Yeah, it is hard. But I can do a French accent. Yes. Allure, my name is John. I go to the club. I dance at the club. Our fans are coming with us. Yeah, what's your name? Petrina. Petrina? Petina. Petina. That's a very French-handling name. John, nice to meet you. I will listen to Petina. I've got like a spare 10 minutes and I was just on my way to go and grab like an iced coffee, a drink. Would you like to join me? Just like 10 minutes. We're going to sit down and grab a cold drink. Yeah? Yeah, there's a Starbucks like just on the up. Okay, so yeah. So that's the kind of stuff I'm talking about. So yeah, a lot of guys could watch that and just be like, it's boring. It's just a chat. But for me, that's what a good pickup is. If someone was to walk past in the street, they wouldn't think anything was going on. It just looks like two people talking to each other, you know? Okay, so now I just want to talk a little bit about specifics. So just some specific day game techniques, things I can talk about. So the first one I want to talk about is about low investment in general. What we really don't want to do is put the girl on a pedestal. This is really important. The moment that a girl's value is up here, or in her mind her value is up here and your value is down here, it's really hard to make it go like this, to come back up. Going up to a girl and just be like saying, oh my God, you're so amazing. You're so stunning. You're gorgeous. It's too much. The vibe needs to be, I talk to hot girls all the time, you know? I saw you, you look really nice. But that's it. It's what we call a low investment compliment. It's about like the analogy that we use at daygame.com is like how a fashion designer or a photographer would talk to models at a photo shoot. Now the fashion designer walks into a room full of models. He's not going to go, wow, you look amazing. You know, you're so stunning. He's going to walk around. He's going to be like, yeah, you look good. You look nice. Yeah, I like that. That's good. And that's kind of the vibe that we teach at daygame.com. It's being relaxed. It's not investing too much because you go up to a girl you've never met her before and you just start piling up on all this stuff onto her. All this pressure saying you're so amazing, you're gorgeous, you're beautiful. It's too much. It's too much. And as soon as you start doing that, your value starts to drop. With women, you really want it to be like this. You want to have the value and she's down here. And with a lot of girls, as soon as you approach them, especially English girls, the value is going to be like this. With foreign girls, it's a bit different. If you meet a foreign girl in London, you already have a lot of value in her eyes. But with an English girl, it's level pegging. Immediately it's level pegging. So going up to her and putting her on a pedestal and saying like, you're so stunning. I love you. It's too much. It's too much. Low investment. Okay. And this is something that's really common. Me and Tom see it all the time. It's probably the most common mistake that a student will make. And that's approval seeking. Now approval seeking, it permeates through the whole approach. And it manifests itself in a few different ways. So things like voice tone. This is the biggest one. Voice tone. When you meet someone and you don't know them, you want to, you basically want them to like you. You want to create rapport with them. So naturally as human beings, what we do is we make our voice tone go up at the end of a sentence. So I saw you. I think you look really nice. It's like saying to her, you know, I don't want to offend you. I think you look really nice. I'm a little bit scared. So I'm going to just play it safe. You've got to be, you've really got to watch your voice tone. When you talk to women, you need to be talking to them in a way that I'm talking to you guys now. Your voice tone should be level. It's really, really common. It's just, and I think it's something that's innate to just us as human beings with the English language. Other languages I don't know. But it's this way of talking to people where it's like how, if you imagine, okay, when I used to work, I used to work at telecoms and media company. And whenever the boss of the whole company was around, you listen to how people talk to him. They're just kissing his ass, approval seeking. The voice tone, the things they're saying, that's kind of how I see it in my head. So when you go up to this hot girl and you start approval seeking with her, like an approval seeking means, you want her approval. You're saying, I want you to like me, please like me. What you think is more important than what I think. It's more important than me. The moment you do that, like a stunning girl, she gets that all the time. She gets guys being nice to her, kissing her ass all day long. So things like smiling too much. If you noticed in that video, when she's talking, I'm not smiling, I've got a straight face saying things like, oh cool, oh wow, everything she says. It's like you're not even listening to what she's saying. She says, oh, I'm on holiday, fantastic. She's like, but I don't know, whatever. But I love Spain. Oh yeah, great. I love Spain as well. Yeah, I'm a serial killer, fantastic serial killer. It's like, you see what I mean? You're not listening to what she's saying. And I see this all the time with students. It's like this auto reaction to just say, okay, oh, interesting. Wow, everything she says, don't do it. I mean, you saw on the video when she's talking and I'm listening to her. I'm just standing there and okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boyce tone flat. There's no approval seeking whatsoever. Trying too hard. Again, this goes back to the attraction thing. Leaning in, trying too hard. Trying too hard to make her like you. All these things are just going to do the opposite to what you want. It's kind of counter intuitive. It's something that I had to learn the hard way because I made the mistakes of doing these things. It's like you go up to someone and you want to make them like you. So you start doing all these approval seeking things. But what you'll get is the opposite. Women are going to be repelled at you, not attracted to you. So approval seeking is a really, really important one. As I said, it's probably the most common mistake that I see on bootcamps. So just watch out for it. Voice tone, smiling too much, saying things like, oh, cool. Oh, wow, what she's saying. Just shut up. Don't say it. Okay. That's all you need to say. Okay. Yeah. And yeah, leaning in too much and trying too hard. Okay. So leaning in, that leads me into the next thing I want to talk about, which is body language and eye contact. Now these are really, really important. So to begin with, when you're learning this stuff, you're going to be a bit in your head. And when you're talking to a girl, you're going to be standing in front of her and you're going to be thinking, right, what should I be doing with my hands? What should I be doing with my legs? Where should I be looking? Yeah. But eventually what will happen is it will all become natural. As you become this confident guy that's comfortable talking to women, you'll start to adopt relaxed body language. So what you need to do is get out there, get over your anxiety and just keep doing it and doing it and doing it until you become this relaxed guy. So the way that I generally stand when I'm talking to girls is kind of like this. So it's not head on. It's I've put my weight on one leg. I lean back a little bit. I could put my arms here. I could have my arms by my sides. I could have my arms in my pocket. And it's kind of like a very relaxed, could take it or leave it. I could turn around and walk away at any minute. It's that kind of, that's the vibe that you're looking for. You don't want to be like this, like confrontational. It needs to be just kind of, yeah, I'm relaxed. I'm chilled. We're just chatting. I could just walk off. It's no big deal. Eye contact is really important. And actually I think that although eye contact is important for men, I think it's even more important for women. Women react to it in a much stronger way than a man would. So as a man, yeah, when you have eye contact with people, you can feel a certain intensity from it. You meet someone and they've got really strong eye contact. It makes an impact on you. For a woman, it can blow her head off. Like most women will say, eyes are the most important thing. So when you approach that girl on the street, the first thing that you should be doing for the first, I don't know, 30 seconds is like laser eyes. We call it laser eyes is you make eye contact with her and you don't break it. You just hold that eye contact. You know, with a cheeky smile on your face, eye contact with a cheeky smile, that's magical for a girl, you know. And a game that I used to play because I used to be very shy. And if I was walking down the street and a girl would make eye contact with me, I would just look away immediately, you know. And that was just a habit I had. I just didn't want to make eye contact with girls anywhere, you know. So what I started making myself do was I play a game where when I go out, I'm going to make eye contact with every girl that I can and I'm going to hold it as I walk past them until they break it, you know. And yeah, it was difficult at first, but, you know, it made a big difference. It's a lot of fun. I love it. I go out and I'm walking and then what girls walking towards me and we make eyes and then I just hold it and then I'll smile or she'll smile and then you walk past and if she's, you know, the kind of girl that you're interested in, go and then it's not a cold approach anymore, you know. But even girls that you're not interested in, just play a game, go out and think, right, now every girl that I see, every chance that I get, I'm going to make eye contact and I'm going to hold it either until she's walked past me or until she looks away. And that's how it should be. It should be the man is dominant, the woman is submissive. You make eye contact with her, she looks away. That's naturally how it should be. Okay. The next thing I'm going to talk about is flipping, we call it this flipping the script. Now this is something that you do after the hook point in an interaction. If you don't know what the hook point is, the hook point is the point in the interaction where she's shown an interest in you. It's that point where you're not suddenly just this stranger on the street. She's asked you a question now. You know, that's what we teach. She's like, if you're in an interaction and suddenly the girl says, so where are you from? That's the hook point. Now she's interested in you. You're not just this random guy. You're somebody that she will kind of wants to get to know a little bit. So when this happens, what flipping the script means, it means dialing down your energy and making her start to invest. So when you go up to a girl that you don't know, to begin with, you've got to do a lot of talking. Yeah? I mean, I'm sure a lot of you know about this stuff. You can't just go up and just start asking your questions because she'll be gone in two minutes. So you've got to go up and you've got to make your statements. You know, you may ask a couple of questions, but you're going to be making statements to her, telling her things about herself, maybe telling a story, anything. But you're going to be talking. You're going to be making statements. Now, at the hook point, that's the time when you need to start dialing down your energy a bit. Fold your arms. The moment she starts qualifying herself, fold your arms, keep a straight face. Now, people say, oh, folded arms is bad body language. It's closed. But actually, when you do this and someone's talking, it makes it look like you're judging them. And that's what you want. You know, when a girl's talking, you've got to scrutinize her. So she's talking. You should be like, OK, what are you talking about? She'll say something. You can repeat it back to her with a sarcastic tone. I don't know. She says, I've just arrived in London. I've been walking around all day. And you'd be like, you've been walking around all day. It's like you're judging her. And you can literally just do this all the time. And it's so powerful because it's completely the opposite to approval seeking. You know? It's like I'm not agreeing with everything she says. I've got my own opinion. And yeah, I could do this and I could just disagree with everything she says just because it's fun. But actually, I find the best thing is actually just to be honest. So when you talk to someone, when you meet them for the first time, there's going to be things you disagree on. So have an opinion. Just say it. Don't hold back. Don't sense it yourself. Keep your body language relaxed. When she starts to invest, dial down your energy, fold your arms, lean back. Look at her with the straight face. The poker face, the straight face is really important. I see so many guys just smiling all the time. Throughout our whole set, they're just smiling, smiling, smiling. It's not normal. You know? When you talk to your friends, when you talk to your best friend, you're not smiling all the time. Yeah, you'll smile when it's appropriate. You may laugh a little bit when it's appropriate, but you don't smile all the time. So just have a straight face. And what I've found is this stuff is so powerful. Like it's amazing, but it works. It makes women attracted to you when you're talking to her. Just relax. Hold your arms and look over the poker face. It's really, it's powerful stuff, trust me. Another thing I like to do is I'll call out what she's thinking. So if I approach a girl and she looks at me in a kind of funny way, then I will cut myself off from what I'm saying and I'll turn it into a joke. I'll say, I love how you're looking at me like, who the fuck is this crazy guy? Yeah? And then she laughs and it immediately diffuses the situation. And I actually use this all the time. If she looks at me suspiciously, I'll say, I love how suspicious you are. What's going on? And she'll laugh. If she's making it really difficult for me, if she's not giving me anything, I'm plowing and plowing and she's just not giving me anything. Then I'll say it. I'll say, I love how you're just, you're not cutting me any slack. You're making this so tough for me. But you say it with like a cheeky smile and they laugh. And it works so well because you're like, you've diffused the situation, you know? So just remember that phrase, I love how, yeah? You can use that for anything. I love how tall you are. I love how sweet you look. I love the way you're just looking at me like, what's going on, you know? And it just diffuses the situation. If you can call out what she's thinking and turn it into a joke, it's not a problem anymore. And the last thing I want to talk about is closing. And closing solid. So a lot of guys, when they go for the number, like they've done this great approach, she's attracted, she's built a bit of comfort, you know? And it's time to close. The whole thing goes out the window and they go into this approval seeking kind of thing where they'll say, oh, this has been really nice. Can we swap numbers? Or this has been great. Maybe I could take you out for a drink sometime, you know? And it undoes all the work that he put in. At daygame.com we say open strong and close strong. The rest of it in the middle doesn't have to be that fantastic. But if you can open really, really strong and she's looking at you with the frame of like, wow, okay, this guy is confident, you know? He knows what he wants rather than is he trying to sell me something? What does he want? Yeah? And you can close in a way where you're basically, you're not asking her permission. At no time in an interaction are you ever asking her permission for anything. Yeah? You're telling her what you think. You don't really care what she thinks. You know? And this is so attractive to a woman. When you're a guy who just lives in his own reality and he's not bending his reality to meet hers. Yeah? He's not worried about what she thinks. He's just saying it like it is, you know? So as I was saying, when it comes to closing, I see so many guys kind of do this little dance when it comes to getting a number and it just becomes really contrived. It comes out so contrived. So the best way, easiest way to open and I got this from Yad and it works every time is at the point when it's time to close, you say, I tell you what, I would love to invite you out sometime and then just look at her in the eye with a straight face and don't say anything else. That's it. That's all you need to do. And when she says, okay, or yes, then you just get your phone out and it's obvious that she's going to give you a number. But at no point do you actually say to her, can I have your number? Maybe we should swap numbers. Yeah? You're telling her, you're giving her a reason. It's what you want to do with it. You want to go out with her. Yeah? Obviously, if she says yes to going out with you, then you're going to get your phone out. And then at that point, if she's not comfortable with giving you a number, she might say, I tell you what, I'll give you my Facebook or my email and that's fine as well. Yeah? So that's all you need to do is you need to, at that point in interaction, where you think, okay, now's the time to close is just to say, oh, I can see you in a rush and you got to go. But I tell you what, I would love to invite you out sometime and then just look at her with a straight face. And I think I'll leave it there. That's it. Thank you. Oh, we've got a Q&A. Yeah. Okay. Any questions? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I forgot, actually. And just to sort of thank all you guys for coming today, we've got some free stuff for you over on daygame.com. And so if you just check out www.daygame.com forward slash, is it 21 convention or just 21? Yeah. So it's www.daygame.com forward slash 21 convention and there's free videos and stuff for you there, guys. So check that out. Okay. Any questions? Yeah. I was wondering, my way of interacting with people is always quite high energy and you're talking about toning it down. So I want to be as much me as I can when I'm interacting with a woman and how can I, well, should I still lower my energy on purpose? That's a good question. I think as long as it's coming from the right place, then you don't need to do anything. What I'm talking about is my style and my style is very chill. Now, not everybody is like me. As long as the energy is not coming from a place of approval seeking, then I think it's fine. Because if you're being yourself, then that's what this is about. But when I was saying about not going in with all this high energy, maybe that was the wrong word. I shouldn't have said that. What I should have said was going in, trying to attract her, going out of your way to try and attract her. So having high energy is fine. If you're a high energetic guy and that's your natural style, then that's great. But just as long as it's coming from the right place, it's coming from a place of like, this is me and I'm comfortable. It's not coming from a place if I've got to be so high energy because otherwise she's not going to like me. So I think it's something that... You'll find your own style. I don't know how experienced are you with this stuff. You're quite experienced with daygaming pickup. You may find that as you advance, your energy may start to come down naturally. Because you start to care about it less. You start to not care so much about the outcome. And that affects how your whole demeanor, your whole behavior in the interaction. Once you really don't care, and that's something that I should have mentioned earlier actually, once you really don't care about the outcome, it just permeates through everything, through the approval seeking, through your body language. It's like, I really could just walk away at any minute. So yeah. You've mentioned about kind of being natural and not trying too hard and not being invested and being outcome independent. But don't you have to go through a phase sort of fake it till you make it where you're acting that way, but you really are trying. You really are kind of trying to act differently to the way you naturally do, and then it becomes natural because of more experience. That's kind of it. Like I said, there's a process where to begin with, you're just nervous and fearful, and approaching is an ordeal when you just hate it. And then once you can do it, you get filled with this like, oh my god, I can do this. This is great. So you start going up to girls with this just high energy, you know, and I remember it now in my head when I used to do it. But it's something that you're right. You do go through it. It's something that you will have to, it's a process. You can't just like, just watch me talk and then think, right, okay, I know what to do now. I'm just going to have to go up and just be natural and not try and make it, you know, and attract. What I'm just, I was just trying to give you an idea about where I feel like, I am like where I've come from. I've come from that place of being nervous and fearful, and I've gone through that process of excitement, high energy, you know, and I've come to a place now where I've actually, it's almost a little bit like you're going up, like you're going from being really nervous to being really confident with high energy. And it's a little bit, it's kind of dropping off a bit. So to the untrained eye, it can look like he's not even doing anything, you know. But that's why, that's, for me, that's why it's so good. It's because it's like, it appears effortless. So to answer your question yet, you're going to have to go through it and it is like fake it till you make it. To begin with, it's going to feel like you're performing, it's going to feel like you're being somebody that you're not. But eventually, you'll find your own style and it will just become you. And then you're just, you know, you're just being yourself. You're up there chatting to these girls, you're not thinking too much in your head, you're just, you know, you're not censoring yourself, you're just in the moment. And the only way to get there is just to keep doing it and keep doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it until you get there. Yeah. Okay. Do we have time for one more? One more? Yeah. What advice would you give in someone who's looking at intermediate level but getting a lot of flakes? I think it's the whole, I think you kind of answered it throughout your presentation about turning down your sort of energy. Because I think that's currently where I'm at the moment. Yeah. Getting a lot of flakes. I mean, obviously without seeing you in action, it's hard to diagnose it. But, yeah, I think everybody who's gone through this gets, it's going to get flakes at the beginning. To begin with, like, my flake rate was just super high and I couldn't understand it. It's like, why would a girl give me a number if she's not going to like answer my text? You know, it's crazy. But actually I think what it is is easier for a girl to just give you a number and not reply than it is for her to say no. Because when she says no, it kind of causes a confrontation. It's easy for her just to kind of give you a number and think, oh, well, I just won't answer it. So, I mean, do you think you're quite like high energy? Do you feel like you're trying too hard? I think at the moment it's kind of trial and error and trying to find that sweet spot in terms of balance between energy and, you know, having attraction and comfort. I think when I started off, it was more kind of doing a lot of comfort and rapport. But then I sort of was trying to, you know, mix up with a bit of, you know, attraction and a bit of balance. But it's trying to find a balance and I think, you know. It's the balance. That's exactly it. That's what it is and it's not something. It's very hard to teach it specifically. But it's like this indefinable, intangible balance between attraction and comfort. You know, she's got to see you, she's got to see you as like a potential mate. She's got to see you in a sexual way that she could be turned on by you. But at the same time, as mystery says, the game is played in comfort. If a girl is not comfortable with you, nothing is ever going to happen. You know, and at the same time, if she's not attracted to you in any way, nothing's ever going to happen. So you're right. It's like you've got to find this balance. So for advice, I guess, what would I say? Just keep practicing. That's really the only advice I can give you. It's like you've got to keep doing it until it becomes so normal and natural for you to do it that it's just like, it's just what you do. It's not like a big deal for you anymore. You don't care about the outcome. Oh, no, I've got one good piece of advice, actually. And I tell a lot of students this, is I say, forget about getting a number. When you go out, forget about getting girls' numbers. Your aim should be to go out and enjoy yourself, amuse yourself, and have fun conversations. If you do that, you will get numbers anyway. So if you went out on any given day, and you had that mindset, and you went out and you had however many conversations, and you had a great time, and you amused yourself, you made a few girls' day by giving them compliments, and you had really fun conversations, but you didn't get any numbers. That would be so much more beneficial for you than going out and getting 20 numbers at all flake. That's really what you need to do, is you need to focus on the interaction and having fun and enjoying it, and literally forget about getting numbers. And when you do that, you will get the numbers anyway because it will feel natural, it will feel natural to ask for the number at the right time or to ask for the instant date. But when you go up to a girl, and in your mind you're thinking, I've got to get a number, I've got to get a number, how am I going to get a number? It comes across. So literally just take the pressure off, no numbers, forget the numbers. I'm going to go out and I'm just going to have fun. I'm going to amuse myself, I'm going to chat to some girls, I'm going to tease them, and I'm going to enjoy it. And if you do that, I think probably you'll find your flake rate will go down. Thank you very much. Thanks. Okay, thanks.