 Hey guys, welcome back to 21 convention. I hope everybody had a great night last night and hopefully got some rest, too Before we get our first speaker up with the day Anthony's gonna like to have a special word about him There you go Morning guys This next speaker Robbie Kramer Back story to him is that I'm always in the lookout for dating coaches They're actually worth a damn and to be honest every that goes by they are harder and harder to find So when I do find them I kind of know it right away, and I I felt that sense when I saw Robbie So this past year met him at another Pick-up conference I saw him and I knew right away I was like this guy a belongs in my event not so much this event and I really want him there So I'm gonna do whatever it takes. So I talked to him worked it out. Here. He is the world's number one confidence coach Robbie Kramer All right everybody Everyone tired No, all right good So thanks for that intro Anthony. I'm Robbie Kramer, and I've got some cool stuff for you guys today the The interesting thing about how I teach Which is maybe a little bit different to a lot of people that teach this stuff is I call myself kind of like a wisdom guide meaning I'm all about giving people tools to help them learn at the ideal rate and I'm not the type of like, you know There's a lot of these gurus and the gurus are like do do this follow this that's not who I am What I do is I get you guys into a learning type of mode and that that was what really helped me So let me give you my back story real quick Basically, you know right now life is pretty good. This is my girlfriend You know, I feel pretty confident most of the time not all the time But it definitely was not always like that I was like the biggest nice guy in the world you guys anyone else any nice guys in here? Alright, so What I mean by nice guy is like high school college I was the guy that brought extra copies of his homework So I could just pass him out to the girls because I figured oh, that's how that's how you meet women You're just really nice, you know, I had the the nice Jewish mom You know, so any any other guys can relate to that the Jewish mom there we go and It was in about 2005 when I realized wow, there's actually people out here that can teach you to be better with women This is so cool. I had no idea that was even possible so I started studying and reading all this stuff and I'm the type of person where I'll like see something and I'll be like, okay I got to try that that sounds fun. That sounds crazy so I just go out and try all this stuff and some of it would work some of it wouldn't but the entire time I was trying stuff in terms of like strategies to meet women I found that if I ever had to express attraction to a woman it made me feel really nervous really awkward like I didn't want her To know that I was into her It was I felt bad. I felt kind of sleazy about that So I was always like in this weird sort of dilemma like what do I do? Do I go in and be like the sneaky indirect type of guy or do I just like go straight up and be really direct? But neither of those kind of methods felt good. Can anyone else relate? Yeah, cool. So What I had to do was find stuff that was in alignment with who I was so I started studying this stuff and that stuff and some of it worked some of it didn't and I knew that I had to get some sort of coaching so I started taking bootcamps and I became a head instructor after taking about four different bootcamps from one of the one of the biggest companies back in the day that taught pickup and They were flying me all over the world teaching this stuff to other people and it was cool because I could go into a bar and basically have like this group of students around me and they thought I was this awesome like pickup guy and They all looked up to me but the whole time I felt kind of like a fraud because I could teach these routines and these techniques but deep down I was still embarrassed about my attraction towards women. I still felt weird about it and Even though I started dating more women it was just kind of more of the same type of women I always got the women I settled for and I knew that I had to do something different So I left that company and I started really looking at intergame and I kind of dove into this whole arena of intergame and That's when transformation started to happen for me I took a look at myself my integrity my morals as a man kind of a lot you know what the other speakers have been talking about is you have to be a man and I was a boy Even when I was coaching for this other company. I was a boy So the process of becoming a man expressing my attraction getting comfortable doing that That is what really changed everything and that's what inner confidence is all about so See if you can relate to this statement What is wrong with me? I see beautiful women all the time, but I just can't seem to go over and talk to them and when I do Sometimes, you know, I usually find a way to screw it up who can relate to that So today what I'm going to be talking about is Strategies first off how to pinpoint the strategies that are right for you Now who knows there's a lot of strategies out there You could be studying for years To kind of get all this knowledge that's out there on the internet. It's good, but it's also bad And I'll talk about that the mindset how to make sure your mindset kind of your intergame is an Alignment with what you're doing your outer game the strategies sexual tension This is really the key to the kingdom when I talked about before you have to be comfortable with sexual tension if you want to be a man when it comes to relating to women and last how to develop a game plan and How to set up step-by-step action? So you can guarantee that you're going to take that action and get better Because it's all about action if you're taking action consistently Not too much and not too little find the sweet spot. You'll really see massive improvement. So My promise is that I'm going to teach you guys as much as I can in the limited time I have and for some of you guys that want to learn more I'll show you how to do that in the end and I probably won't have time for questions because I have a ton of content But I'll take questions after the speech come find me anytime, you know, I love to talk about this stuff so I'm going to talk about a concept called external alignment and What I said before about there being tons of dating advice out there that can actually be a huge detriment to people It was for me because when I first started studying it was like, ooh, there's this cool stuff. There's like You know this mystery stuff and then there's this like banter stuff and flirting and direct stuff And I had no idea what to do and so all I kind of did was a Okay, I'll try that. I'll try this. I'll try the other some of it worked some of it didn't but What was really going on was that I? Wasn't sure who I was so I didn't know which strategies to pick. I couldn't narrow it down very easily So when you figure out where your what your external alignment are is then you'll really know which strategies are the best fit for you to succeed So here's this grid that I created call it the external alignment grid and I'm going to put you guys into a few boxes Who likes to be put in a box? All right, we've got a couple guys. That's great. So first there's introverted and by introverted what I mean by introverted is if You get more energy being by yourself You can look at it as let me make the analogy of like recharging a battery So how do you recharge your batteries? Do you do it by being alone and taking that downtime or do you recharge your batteries by being around other people? So for me, I'm a little bit more extroverted meaning if I feel drained I'll go hang out with some friends and that'll make me feel More energized. So who thinks they're who gets more energized being with people and who gets more energized being alone So who's who's more introverted? And who's more extroverted? Okay, cool. I think everyone raised their hand. I had this awesome joke for the people who didn't but now I can't even use it all right, so now we have aggressive and passive and What I mean by aggressive is basically You're out there you're Taking action not so much taking action actually it's more about confrontation and tension so if you're comfortable making other people uncomfortable or if you're comfortable basically just like Going for things and not really caring about so much how they feel you're probably more aggressive You just kind of go for it You're gonna be like whatever if anyone plays poker and you're like this huge You know, you're just all in every hand then you're probably pretty aggressive if you're now the other one is passive passive people take their time to make decisions They're a lot more concerned about how other people perceive them and I would say that most guys Probably 90% of the guys that struggle with women or who have struggled are probably more on the passive category people that are really aggressive they usually don't struggle with women because They're just the guys that are like going for it going for it going for it They're the guys that'll walk up to every woman in the bar and say hey you want to go home and have sex and eventually one will say yes so That wasn't me So who thinks they're more aggressive? Few people okay, who thinks they're more passive? Okay, so and when I'm talking about this I'm just talking about it in terms with women in business Sometimes will be more aggressive Like for me it was a lot easier for me to be aggressive with business than it was for with women So that's that's the category now. Let me explain the the four boxes. So the first one is the party guy and What the party guy is is basically he's like the life of the party guy. That's why I call him the party guy. He's He's outgoing. He's in the spotlight. Their strengths is that they meet women very easily. They're very vocal They're just like here. I am let's go for it. Let's do it and The weaknesses of a party guy is that they they don't connect as much They they're always about fun and a lot of the time they have that grass is always greener conversation You guys know what I mean by the grass is always greener Basically, it's like you're in a relationship and you want to be single and then you're single and you want to be in a relationship So you're never satisfied. You're always one or the other and I can relate a lot to this category This isn't my main category, but if I get drunk enough, I become a party guy So that's the first one Next category is kind of the bad boy or the mysterious guy Same thing with the strengths are very aggressive. These are the guys that just go for it They're really comfortable with sexual tension. They see a woman they want and they're just like here. I am and They're very direct very aggressive the weaknesses is that they can walk all over people They're very dominant so it will cause them to be disliked especially by people who are more more passive you could say and Their relationships are always like these turbulent Dramatic relationships where it's like, you know, they're getting glass broken and they're cheating and the woman's cheating and they're like broken up And then they're take then they're together again. They're broken up I've never had those crazy relationships where you're like breaking up every week, but most of those people are typically bad boys so Bad boy or mysterious guys. It can either be the really aggressive type of guy Or he's a little bit, you know, the bad boy the aggressive guy He's more introverted than the party guy. So he'll kind of just pick a spot Next we have the nice or the sweet guy. That's me so What the nice guy is? They make people feel really comfortable They're approachable. They're friendly. They're really warm Usually nice guys have tons of friends. They're very easy to get along with they like being around people and They connect with people very easily, which is why they're usually in the friend zone That's the weakness is because they're so nice and because they're so friendly they don't have a lot of that raw sexual kind of aggression and They'll still hang back and get stuck Just as a friend and they're typically scared to express attraction. They take things personally so they can be walked on and They avoid asking for what they want not just with women but in a lot of areas If you're scared to ask for what you want most people aren't going to give it to you so you either end up trying to get it by kind of Manipulative ways or just kind of hoping that eventually they somebody recognizes you for how nice you are It's like what I talked about when I brought my homework actually homework for the women, you know in high school I figured off, you know once they find out how good of a guy I am then they'll want to be with me Then they'll want to date me, but that usually didn't happen and the last is the smart or analytical guy and This guy is introverted and passive on the grid and the strengths is that they're they're stable They're great at solving problems. They're really trustworthy They keep their word and they're usually really good providers. So once they're in a relationship, you know, they're they're like the rock The weaknesses is they tend to experience paralysis of analysis There's so much stuff in their head that it's very difficult to have social interactions with people and I can relate to this category as well the what you'll find on this grid is that for me I Was primarily this if I got drunk I was him and if I was in my head or feel like if I had if I was on the computer all day doing a lot of work I'd be here. I was never here So if this is your main category, you might experience a little bit of this and a little bit of this But usually not from the opposite end of the spectrum So let's figure out what you guys think you are who thinks they're a party guy Sort of maybe one guy. It's funny. If you look around the room, you can usually tell how people are dressed. It's like You look like a party guy. It's like we go out. We could have a good time, you know You just tell people people like that their energy exudes this a lot of the time Who thinks they're a nice or a sweet guy? All right So if anyone needs any favors, you guys know who to go to Who thinks who thinks they're a bad boy or mysterious guy? couple guys Yeah, wouldn't want to get in a fight with this guy Who thinks they're an analytical or smart guy? Okay, anyone just completely not sure. I don't know what this guy's talking about. I'm I'm off The I'm totally off the grid anyone in that space All right, perfect so went over this So People think all right. Well, what should I do and the trap that I fell into was I heard this all the time You know, I'd go online. I'd look at some product or some you know promise from Somebody who's teaching the stuff and they would say just follow my paint by number system And you can have what I have with women and I would follow the paint by number system I do it exactly how they wanted me to do it But I didn't get the same results and I was always thinking like what's wrong with me? Why isn't it working? It works so well for him. Why isn't it working for me? And the problem was was I was taking advice from somebody who wasn't on my section of the grid I was taking advice from people that were typically bad boy mysterious types of guys most of the teachers you'll find will fall into that that category of like the bad boy and As a nice guy every time I tried to use one of those strategies It just didn't feel right no matter how hard I tried it was it just like Felt like I was budding up against something anyone had that experience when trying different techniques out there where you're just like God, this doesn't work, but it works so easily for him. What's wrong with me anyone had that before a few people so that's usually that's probably what's happening if you think back on it and The majority of guys that are struggling are passive But the majority of the techniques out there are very aggressive techniques And it's really tough to get somebody who's naturally passive to be aggressive because it's just not in our nature to be aggressive Like for me trying to be really aggressive in anything just feels weird. It feels off I feel a little bit skeezy doing it and I can force myself But if I feel awkward doing something most likely the person that I'm interacting with is going to feel that energy And they're going to feel awkward about it too so Now there's one more spot on the grid and that's the confident guy Now I made the shift from nice sweet guy up to confident guy And you can shift into the confident guy category from any spot on the grid and the thing that separates a confident guy is that In terms of being extremely extroverted like life of the party or extremely introverted You're kind of in the middle. You're you can connect with people and it doesn't matter if you're mostly introverted or mostly extroverted When you're with a woman you can get into that connected space and really make a strong emotional connection with her It doesn't matter You know either way if you're introverted or extroverted you can still connect with people You don't you don't want to try to switch from introvert to extrovert just won't work Likewise when it comes with passive and aggressive It's really tough like I said to get a passive person to do something aggressive But if you become assertive, it'll make a huge difference not just with women but anywhere in your life Now for me, I was like the least assertive guy in the world When it came to boundaries I had none Can anyone relate to that? It was basically like oh Yeah, you want to take my money in my wallet. Okay, just don't take too much. You know it was it was I Didn't want any tension whatsoever if I I was so scared of confrontation That I would do anything to avoid it and my way of avoiding it was just giving in So I had to learn to set boundaries to draw the line to be assertive Not just with women but everywhere and the cool thing was when I learned how to do it with women Everything else became easy because women was the hardest kind that was like the final frontier. It was the hardest thing so when I learned to set boundaries be assertive state what I want and Not apologize for who I am women Really started responding positive positively to me so those are kind of the ideal spots and It doesn't matter where you are you can move into that zone and I just went over this so we'll skip that now how to shift we want to realize that our We want to realize our strengths and we don't want to try to become someone. We're not You know if you if you're a nice guy and you're trying to become a bad boy You're gonna bump it up against a lot of brick walls It's gonna be tough if you're an analytical guy and you want to be a party guy That's gonna be really tough. It's gonna take a lot of drinks a lot of coke Probably not what you want to do And the problem is you know the first time I actually studied this stuff. It's a funny story. I read the game who's read the game? most people and The night I read the game and like I think I stayed up like 36 straight hours just reading this thing I was like, oh my god. This is amazing. You can you can become better with women I completely missed all the parts at the end when he talked about how you know, it's really about being yourself I'm like screw that stuff. You don't need that. I'm just gonna be this you know this game guy I'm gonna go out and pick up tons of chicks And so what I did was I remember I remembered one of the lines in the game It was like call a girl by a cartoon character so I went out that night when I finished the book and I put myself into this like bad boy mysterious guy mode and I walked up to this girl. I'm like, hey, you kind of look like Minnie Mouse She was like Minnie Mouse was like, yeah Minnie Mouse, I'm gonna go to the bathroom That's all I had It's like shit. I don't remember anything else. So I go to the bathroom. I come back get a few shots Bring a shot to her. I'm like here you go Minnie Mouse. We take the shot I'm like, how was it Minnie Mouse literally? I think I called her Minnie Mouse like ten times within like a two minute stretch That's all I had I had no idea what else to say And she turns to me This woman was gorgeous. She was like 511 Burnett like just my type and she turns to me and she goes, you know You got to stop calling me Minnie Mouse because it's I I actually really like you and she got You know a little bit sexual and when she did that all of a sudden I was like ding ding ding I can be confident now because I know I'm in You know for me, I could never be confident until I knew I was in and then I was Mr. Confident guy after that, but if I didn't know I did not want to go there. So From there like it was pretty easy. I just I was like, okay great come with me We walk over to the to the like corner of the bar. We start making out ten minutes later We're back at my place having sex and I'm thinking oh my god I found the holy grail I can just go out and call every woman Minnie Mouse and like I'm just My problems with women are over so I actually tried to do that for the next three months and Failed miserably most of the women were just like okay loser Great and not only that but that next morning when I woke up. I was no longer drunk and Here I had this beautiful girl in my bed and all of a sudden my confidence just went like Through into the toilet basically I didn't I couldn't call her Minnie Mouse anymore, you know I wasn't that stupid. I knew I couldn't call her Minnie Mouse the next day So I basically turned back into the nice guy and the ride home when I dropped her off in the morning It was really awkward. I had no idea. We were making like force conversations It was like that boring interview question mode where I'm just like asking her all these questions that I don't really care about to try to build rapport and You know, I was ready to like, you know hang up my hat and date this woman because she was amazing just from You know what I saw of her compared to the women I dated in previously But she was just she was done. I never saw her again. So But I kept trying to do that for months and months and months and I couldn't figure out why I had this like You know flash of success and and then nothing and that was because I was trying to be this person that I wasn't so Everyone has strengths each category has a strength and you want to keep the strength you have and work on the weaknesses If you're having trouble connecting with people, you know If you're maybe too introverted or you're just too off the wall Then you have to find that that sweet spot or if you're too passive you have to get comfortable taking action not to become aggressive but to become assertive and And that's basically what I do. I've got a 90-day program where I take guys through that evolution It's called the formula for confidence mentorship and I'll talk about that at the end So it takes in the reason it's kind of 90 days. It takes a little bit of time to adopt new patterns into your life So next I'm going to talk about internal alignment We have external and we also have internal and you can almost look at that as outer versus intergame as well I like to kind of teach a fusion of the two and Our external alignment dictates our strategies and our internal alignment Will give us the reason why the strategies either work or they don't so even if you're if you even if you pinpoint the exact Strategies if you're misaligned on the inside, they won't work so But when they're When they're fused together when you're aligned in all areas, it becomes easy you enter kind of this abundant state It you don't really have to do anything to attract women. You're just being who you are so here's the grid for internal alignment and So the first question we have to ask is are we taking action? Are we going after our goals? Are we doing what we know? We should be doing to meet women and If the answer is no, then you're probably in this procrastination state This internal mindset you're waiting. You're procrastinating. You're gonna do it later if the answer is yes then You're in one of these three boxes if you're hoping Just kind of throwing darts at a board going out there and trying a bunch of stuff or just have no plan at all You're probably Winging it. It's called like a winging mindset if you're Scripting everything like if you have if you like try to memorize a bunch of stuff before you go out and you have all The stuff in your head and you try to go out and implement it But then you forget most of it anyways and you're struggling you're probably in a forcing or a scripting mindset and then where you where you want to be is in this having mindset where you're taking action and what you're doing is in alignment and when you're when you know that the action you're taking and your internal beliefs are lined up you enter a having state and If you know, you're gonna get it guess what you're gonna get it anyone know what the law of attraction is You want to heard of that before? basically what you focus on expands that's an easy way to put it and Like attracts like so if your internal belief system is I meet women easily You'll create that and if it's iced like it's impossible to meet women. You'll also create that so Just to make these points a little bit more solid. I'm gonna give you guys three case studies The first one is this guy George now George is the biggest. He was the biggest procrastinator. I had ever met basically when I met him he wouldn't take any action at all when it came to women and Not only was he not taking action with women, but he wasn't taking action anywhere in his life Usually how we do anything or how we do one thing is how we do everything as a common theme I see with myself and with the clients. I've worked with how we do anything is how we do everything So he was a painter and I went to his house and he had these insane paintings They were like I mean dude you could be selling these paintings for Thousands of dollars and he's like yeah, it takes me it takes me about a year to do a painting like a year I mean they're not like it's not the Sistine Chapel. They're like this by this and When I got him out of that procrastination state with women it changed his painting as well He could he started doing one painting a week and he quickly transitioned from his boring job Into this side business where he was selling paintings on the side making thousands of extra dollars every month Not only was he doing that, but he was going out to a Venice Beach boardwalk. I'm from LA and He had his work was right on Venice Beach And what he would do during his lunch break is he'd go out on the boardwalk and pick up tourists So you know he he told me the story that he like hooked up with this tourist in a dirty stairwell in Venice which is not a good idea Basically that smells like urine so wouldn't recommend that but you know, hey, he was a painter That's what he wanted to do, but I got him out of procrastination state everything started turning around. So that's George It's next guy near of This was a really interesting story He was a or he is a photographer professional photographer and he shoots models Horrible job, right? He has to stare at, you know scantily clad women all day long take their picture and this guy had like Absolutely, no shame. He'd be like taking pictures of the models and he told me these stories He'd be like, yeah, baby. I can't wait to like get you in bed. You're looking good he was like the sleazy photographer dude like super sleaze ball and He would ask out like every model that came, you know to to for him to take their picture and constantly he'd get no, you know, no, no, no, no And you can imagine how frustrating that is when you're taking pictures of beautiful women all the time But you can't date them. So he was in this hoping Winging sort of mindset where he was just basically throwing stuff out there and it wasn't working. So for him I showed him how he can kind of tone it down a bit And we shifted him out of that state and I got him comfortable expressing attraction in a less sleazy way and Guess what happened? It was a pretty easy shift for him to make now He's dating one of them and he dated a bunch of them before he found one that he really liked So he's got a girlfriend now and she was one of his subjects. So that's kind of the winging state and the last state is the scripting state now I was definitely I've gone through all the states I started in the procrastination state and then I went into the winging state and then I went into the scripting state after Studying way too much pickup And that's what happened with Gary. Gary had been on a lot of boot camps He had taken a lot of different stuff and even though he had like Everything in his head. He would get into a situation at a bar and just completely freeze up. Nothing would happen So with Gary is funny. We're he was he was at a three-day boot camp at the end of my 90-day program There's a three-day boot camp. So he came out to that and during the boot camp we're in this bar and It was kind of like a loungy type of place and there was just blondes everywhere You know, California You get a lot of brunettes But this place for whatever reason had all like all blondes and he comes to me and he goes Robbie I hate this place like why he's like because it's filled with freakin blondes and I hate blondes They intimidate the hell out of me and I was like That's funny. Gary. You should say that to those girls over there and he goes. I can't say that. That's like That'd be weird. How could I say that? That's I've never heard anything like that It like didn't fit his hit like all the stuff He had learned in his head it like didn't fit into that category in any of those categories. So I was like Gary Here's a $10 bill if you go over and tell those girls exactly what you just told me I promise you'll probably have a good interaction and if you don't you get this $10 bill when you come back and he was still like dude I'm not doing it, but his his wingman his buddy at the time was like, how could you not do it, man? Just do it. So he goes fine and he walks over there. He's all pissed off and he goes I hate this place. It's filled with blondes like you guys and I hate blondes And the blondes were like they kind of laughed and there are two brunettes in the group as well and the two brunettes were just like They're on him, you know social dynamics of work at work there and they're British girls The two brunettes ended up fighting over him the entire night because the cool thing about Gary is he his thing was approach Anxiety he was actually halfway decent once he got into a conversation. He relaxed. He could just totally You know be free and interact, but he had so much approach. Anxiety. He couldn't open a conversation to save his life So he ended up leaving with those two brunettes. They tried to get him home to their hotel They said to him they're like, yeah, we're flying out tomorrow but you should come back to our hotel with us and He was like he wasn't ready for that success quite yet So he screwed that up But it totally screwed with his reality because he didn't realize how easy it could actually be He didn't have to have all these crazy things in his head So I taught him how to get out of his head and he got out of that scripture mindset So it was Gary now You know, most people were stuck in waiting hoping forcing So here here are the remedies to shifting into a having state It's like the 30 the birds I view So if you're stuck in waiting and let me just ask you guys who thinks are stuck in a waiting or procrastination type of state? Okay, and how about winging hoping scripting forcing you okay, so Get some water if you're in this waiting state Really simple you have to make choices you have to make a choice and take baby steps that are in alignment With an action plan that you have now one huge mistake that people try to make is if they're stuck in waiting They'll beat themselves up and they'll say God I got to do something. I should be out there I should be meeting women so they'll go out one night and they'll say you know what? I haven't approached a woman in a while, so I'm gonna approach 10 tonight and maybe you approach 10 But after doing that you're like totally you've just completely over trained you've burned yourself out and A lot of the times it can be harder to get back into action after doing that for example the first boot camp I ever took I went out and I probably talked to 75 women in the two nights. I was out and When I came back home after that boot camp I couldn't talk to anyone because I was just fried it was actually too much action it was over training and Over-training is just as bad as under training You know if you go to the gym and you try to put up too much weight and you hurt something Well, that's just as bad as not going to the gym at all because now you can't train So baby steps are huge if you're stuck in that waiting state You don't want to push it too much. You have to make sure the action you're taking is in alignment So the next one if you're stuck in hoping then you're probably throwing darts on the board Just trying all this stuff with no real rhyme or reason So if you're stuck in that you have to get focused and also get a plan Some sort of structure with a structure comes freedom, but with too much structure you lose the freedom which is forcing and When you're forcing you have to stop trying to be perfect. You have to stop worrying about getting it right and You want to just surrender a little bit to you know, hey How can this be easy? What can I do to take a step back and just stop like trying so hard and good things will happen if you just change your mindset when you change your mindset it changes everything and Also find a plan. That's not like a script Little bit looser type of plan. So if you're feeling overwhelmed and you're like shoot How do I shift out of this? I have stuff that can help you with that now I Created a bunch of quizzes who likes to take quizzes Who are the geeks in the room? Yeah, I love quizzes I'm just like anything like yeah, anyone ever get those like You're online and like some stupid quiz will pop up when you're doing something important And you totally get sidetracked and just start taking this dumb quiz and at the end They're like sorry to get your answers. You have to send in your email address. God I just wasted my time with these stupid quizzes so I Created some quizzes to help you guys figure out exactly where you are on the external alignment grid and on the internal alignment grid and At the end don't worry You won't have to enter your email to get the answers you'll get them right there And I have more remedies on there as well so everyone pull out their phone right now just grab it and I'm gonna send you guys the quizzes if you send an email right now a blank email Most people have some sort of you know smartphone or iPad. I feel so left out I don't have an iPad and a cool little stand for my iPad. That's awesome, but I'm just send a blank email and I see 21 convention at a webber calm and You'll see all those quizzes. There'll be a link. Take you right there Yes, I'm gonna email you guys every hour of every day now I actually say right there the question was am I gonna bombard you guys with spam and The answer is no you can opt out anytime just click of a button And I only send content that I deem is like highly highly valuable and you won't hear from me more than you know twice a week the absolute most and So yeah, don't worry about that now the last thing that I want to the if you're there's kind of like your external alignment there's your internal alignment and What I've been kind of mentioning throughout is how comfortable are you with sexual tension and To just describe that a little bit better what I mean by sexual tension. Here are some examples so if you're uncomfortable and You feel awkward expressing attraction towards women. You're probably a little bit uncomfortable with sexual tension and Guys always, you know wonder. I always wondered like, you know, why do I have to express attraction towards women? I don't need to do that. Well, even if you go like the indirect way and do an indirect approach Eventually, you're gonna have to kiss her right Hopefully so eventually you're gonna have to let the cat out of the bag I don't care if you're going indirect or direct or anywhere in between You're gonna have to let the cat out of the bag And if you're not comfortable expressing attraction, you're gonna struggle to do that huge problem for me in the past now Another example is we're scared to make the first move unless it's a sure thing that story with the Minnie Mouse girl Like when she told me that she was into me It was easy, but most of the time that's not gonna happen women are usually more subtle and If we're scared to make the move we're gonna struggle the next one is we don't want her to find out that we like her If you're worried that, you know, she'll find out Then you're gonna have trouble Funny story back in seventh grade kind of the interesting thing about Meeting women and just how you kind of got to the place where you're at a lot of the time There's like a defining moment or some sort of event that happened that just changes the course of history So for me it was seventh grade. I'm in seventh grade I've got this huge crush on this girl named Lauren and I'm like four foot eleven at the time and she's like five foot six She's she's a redhead and I'm like, yeah, I really like Lauren and I It was just past the like girls have cootie stage So I wanted to ask her out. I wanted her to be my you know my girlfriend my seventh grade girlfriend that was a cool thing to do and There was no way I was gonna ask Lauren out, but I heard through another friend that she liked me So that kind of gave me the confidence to try something. So I was like, all right. I'm gonna I'm gonna call Lauren This was a Friday night. So I looked her up in like the little phone directory It was in a class a class of 14 kids was my middle school So wasn't a big class 17 or sorry 14 kids of my seventh grade class. So get my phone I Call Lauren and she picks up and I hang up. I'm sure there's no way I'm gonna be able to talk to her So I call her again. She she picks up shit. Can't do it. I was like, there's no way I'm gonna be able to spit out the words. I was like my hand was shaking. I was so nervous to make that call So I called her friend Ashley and I said Ashley do me a favor ask out Lauren for me. I was like, yeah That's a great idea. I don't have to do it. That's money. So Ashley calls me back and she goes Lauren's not sure She'll let you know on Monday at school. This is a Friday night And I didn't know a lot back in seventh grade, but I figured that probably wasn't good so I waited till Monday and That was like I was so dreading it. My dad was you know driving me to school I was like, I'm sick. I can't go to school dad. He's like, nope. Sorry. You're going to school and Lauren didn't even come up to me. Ashley comes up to me and she goes, you know Robby Lauren just wants to be friends I was like, okay, that sucks, but the next two weeks in school I didn't say a word. I was like I had every class with Lauren 14 kids in our class and it was so awkward and everybody knew that Robby asked out Lauren No one even made fun of me. No one said anything. I never got any slack from it from anybody But it was so awkward. I told myself I'm never gonna I don't want to feel like this way ever again and I associated that with You shouldn't express attraction towards women now not only that but it was solidified when I got advice from He was like a teacher's aide a young guy who taught PE at the school. He was like 25 You know, he's a real like confident looking dude Athlete and I told him the whole story and he goes, man, never ask girls out. Just let him come to you That's what I do. I'm like, oh, that's really good advice. I'll do that So for the next five years of my life, I took that advice to a tee Not only did I never ask a girl out, but I would do anything to make sure She knew that I wasn't interested in her Even when I got the nerve to ask a girl to like the homecoming dance my junior of high school I was like, hey, you want to come to homecoming? She's like, yeah, sure. I'm like, oh, just his friends, though And she was like, oh, okay. So I was extremely awkward And you know events like that can totally shape our future now. Let's say Lauren said, yeah, sure. I'll be your girlfriend. Hey, I might have been like the biggest pimp ever in like middle school You know, who knows what would have happened, but that's you know, that's the way the cookie crumbles. So Carrie was a client of mine. This is kind of like a before-and-after picture of Carrie. Now I'll tell you the story about Carrie. Carrie is actually a coach for Adam Lyons now And he worked with me a couple years ago and Carrie was extremely Uncomfortable with sexual tension like probably just as bad as I was I got him in in a workshop And we did an exercise where he had to basically just express attraction with a one of the inner confidence girls That I bring in to give you guys feedback and to work with you and he just couldn't do it He just couldn't even do it even though she was like, yeah, go ahead and do it. Check me out Look me up and down. Like tell me I'm hot. Tell me you you know, you want to do something disgusting to me I don't care. He just couldn't do it. So I got Carrie comfortable with sexual tension by giving him baby steps taking action and Carrie became like obsessed with Being comfortable being uncomfortable. He actually started a blog called be uncomfortable calm or something like that I think it's still up and he did Carrie like took this to the next level. He went out on Venice beat on the Venice Beach Boardwalk and address He was like he would go up to people and like ask it for a bite of their burger like a restaurant Like an outside patio. He's like, hey, can I have a fry and they'd be a he got on a PA system at a supermarket You know, he just walked up behind the register and he just started like rapping on a PA system and The carry that came to me like He he would just he was not doing any of that He was so uncomfortable with tension just in general let alone sexual tension But as he took this product these steps these baby steps what felt hard in the beginning now became really easy And he just kept pushing and pushing and pushing it now the craziest thing about Carrie is that? He had like no limits has anyone heard of air sex before a couple people probably, you know, Carrie Air sex is basically air guitar, you know, you're playing a guitar that doesn't exist So air sex is when you're on stage performing for a group of people having sex with the air so it would be like Yeah, I'm really bad at it. So Basically, Carrie decided he was gonna become the air sex champion This felt like the next level of sexual tension pushing so He practiced this whole like air sex routine and he like showed me the routine He took the routine to the the regional qualifier in LA and he won so they sent him out to Texas for the national championship of air sex and he won that too and then they had him on Playboy TV where he actually had air sex with a Playboy Bunny and It just goes to show you how comfortable he became with sexual tension He was like, oh, you have I mean if you can find the video I would watch it He does like the most disgusting things To a woman without touching her and it's just like How could he even do that but You can actually kind of see and you can see in this picture if you really look closely if you just look at his expression Right there. You can tell he's just like doesn't take himself seriously He thinks he's a little bit of a joke that sort of energy was running in Carrie He was uncomfortable with who he was so we always kind of put on this happy guy mask And when he got really confident and comfortable and assertive with tension you can see how it kind of dropped And this is just a picture and if you actually saw the before and after in videos You can tell a little bit easier But our physiology are actual like our face the muscles in our face when we start becoming comfortable with who we are That stuff actually changes and women can tell women are so perceptive and they're so intuitive They can spot a confident guy just by looking at him for a second everything about him Not just what he says the way he talks the way he moves the way he carries himself. So that was Carrie Now the process of taking baby steps to get comfortable with sexual tension. I Like to make the analogy that it's like driving a stick shift. Who knows how to drive a stick Okay, a lot of people Everyone's at least aware of the difference between a stick and an automatic, right? so that's step one if you get in a car and You look down and you're like, what's this extra pedal for? Then you're probably not very aware. That's the first step is awareness What is different about a stick versus an automatic? Well, there's a gear shifter There's a clutch you have to push in the clutch and press the accelerator to make the car go And you have to even press it to turn the car on so the first step with becoming comfortable with sexual tension is Awareness when you're interacting with a woman and it feels like really good sexual tension But she's actually creeped out that would mean you have a lack of awareness of that tension when you can't decipher what sort of tension it is that step one is being able to Feel what the tension is. Alright, this feels really sexy This isn't working to be able to know that that's step one step two You want to learn to drive a stick? Well, hopefully you're gonna go to like an abandoned parking lot Have a buddy next to you who knows how to do it and you have to get the feeling in your body Muscle memory you have once you practice it enough. It becomes easy. You don't have to think about it anymore So but what's gonna happen during that second step? You're gonna stall the car. You're gonna burn out You probably want to use a really crappy car because you're gonna damage the clutch quite a bit You're gonna stumble. You're gonna fail. You're gonna screw it up. That's step two comes to sexual tension You have to go out and screw it up You have to go out and be creepy a little bit, you know If if you've never gone out and creeped a girl out Then that would probably be a really great thing to do just to see how it feels just to get comfortable doing it and By nature, of course, you're gonna stumble a little bit But you'll actually get the feeling that sweet spot in your body and once you do you'll be in step three step three of driving a stick is you can drive down a crowded freeway in traffic on your phone eating a cheeseburger and You don't have to think about The clutch you don't have to think about, you know, how much you're gonna accelerate. It's just naturally what you're doing It's completely internalized and when it comes with sexual tension with women if You're in that sort of state then you're not going out and memorizing stuff or trying to think of the right things to say you're just kind of out you're being you and Interactions happen opportunities come if you see an opportunity you just naturally take action on it That's when you kind of enter that having or flow state and you'll start to see an abundance of opportunities And you'll capitalize on them and then step four if you want to really master The art of driving a stick shift you're probably gonna want to take it to the next level You might want to race you might want to learn like crazy stick shift moves like double clutching I have no idea how to even do that. I drive a stick, but I have no interest in Becoming like a race car driver at least not right now So that stuff isn't really important to me But the analogy is if you want to do that with sexual tension Which is something that was important to me if you want to go out and have crazy experiences You know do kinky stuff get involved with crazy stuff with women date multiple women with integrity Just really have fun like sowing your wild oats. That would be step four It's like a whole new level where you have to face even more tension And not only do you have to be comfortable with sexual tension, but in stage four you have to be comfortable creating it now you have to be the one to initiate it and If you take yourself through that process, that's the process I put carry through You'll realize you're in step three or step four pretty quickly, and you're like wow. I can't believe that used to be me But that's how it works so if anyone Watching the video this will be up there as well And if you guys haven't put that email in and taking those quizzes you can do that so Next I have a special thing. I just want to talk to the guys that are here So for anyone watching the video that's just more reason to actually come to the 21 convention