 Hello there. This is the family doctor. Well, how are you, Rib? Howdy, Doc Adams. Oh, I'm pretty good. I reckon I'm kind of nervous, so... Nervous? Why? Well, if you was running for mayor, if she didn't, wouldn't you be nervous, wouldn't you? Nervous? I'd be crazy. Well, what did you got on your mind, Rib? Well, I'll tell you, Doc, have you heard that I'm going to have a political rally tomorrow night? Yes, I heard that. Over at the PDOW large rooms, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, that's what it's going to be. And Doc, I wanted to come over and introduce me. Introduce you? Why, Rib, what are you talking about? Everybody in the theater knows you? Well, yeah, I suppose I do, but I understand that all good, well-regulated political rallies has to have somebody to introduce the main speaker, which is I. Oh, I see you. Well, all right, Rib, I can't see any harm in that. Oh, Doc Adams, that's mighty nice of you. I should say it is. With you introducing me and you up there on that platform, I... Well, I think I'll have a might more confidence than I would have had otherwise. Of course, Rib, I'm not saying that I'm going to vote for you in the election or whether I'm going to vote for Mayor Trowbridge again. Well, no, I know you ain't, but that's up to you. All I want is that you should be there at my rally. All right, then, Rib, I'll be there. Yes, what is it? I see Felice Benson here to see you, Mayor Trowbridge. All right, there, send him in. Go right in, Chief. Thanks, Wilbur. Good morning, Your Honor. Sit down. You have something on your mind, Mr. Mayor? Something on my mind. Of course I have something on my mind. Who are you going to vote for in this election, Bill? Who? Me? Oh, well, you, of course, Mayor Trowbridge. Well, you'd better, because I'm going to be the next mayor of Zitterton again. Oh, sure. If you give me any cause to think that you're voting for that nincompoop, Rib, you'll be back to digging potatoes like you was when I made you Chief of Police. Oh, now, Mr. Mayor, I sure hope you wouldn't think I'd do a thing like that. No, sir, not William Quincy Benson. I am loyal to those who are my friends, and I'm a friend in need, as Felice says always. Yes, sir. All right, then. Now, uh, Bliss is having a meeting over at the large room tomorrow night. Yeah, I sure heard. Well, uh, you and me is going over there. Huh? What? You going to attend Rib Bliss' rally? Yes, I am. There's a few questions I want to ask Rib, and after I ask him, I think those good citizens of Zitterton who will be attending his meeting will, uh, realize mighty quick that Rib better stick to selling groceries and leave the politics. I mean, the statesmanship to me. Yeah, I understand, Your Honor, but what do you want me there for? You ain't backing out on me, are you? Oh, no, no, no, sir, I'll be there all right here, but you will. Yeah, sir, that's a good one, all right. Well, what are you laughing at? Who? Me? Oh, nothing. Well, then shut up and get out. I've got some work to do. I've got to figure out some questions to ask Rib Bliss. Mr. Zitterton, it is my distinct honor to present to you a man who really needs no introduction. So, without further preliminary observations, I take great pleasure in bringing before you one of the two candidates for mayor in the forthcoming election, Mr. Rib Bliss. Mr. Zitterton and the fools, later I get through with Rip and then they won't yell so loud for him. My friend, in coming here before you tonight, I want to lay before you the platform on which I'm running my campaign. What are you going to do about taxes? Taxes? Well, I'll get around to that item a minute later. Yeah, yeah. Now first, I want to take up the subject... Are you going to say to it that the new high school is built? High school? Well, now I had thought of mentioning that a little later on, thousands of subjects being brought up by our... Where's the city going to pay for it? I believe citizens should build a new high school right away. I believe it should have all the latest equipment to... Answer my question. How is Zitterton going to pay for a new high school? Pay for it? Well, naturally, Mr. Bliss. A building costing $25,000 has to be paid for. Now, how are you going to propose to liquidate that debt? I've got to be taken up later by the city council, but... If I was going to make any recommendation, I'd suggest that a new tax... A new tax? May I be allowed to read one paragraph from a piece of your campaign literature, Mr. Bliss? Put out by our very good friend, the editor of the post-bughal, Mr. Amos Day. And now you listen to me, Mark Covellich. I'm stood for about enough of your sarcasm, and I don't have to stand up here and answer any more of your fool questions. You've conducted me impeachably and quietly, and if you can't sit there and listen to what I've got to say, you can get out of this hall. I've read it for tonight, and by golly, I've been running this thing the way I want to run it. Now, you, who get out? Oh, my God. Now, gathers, I... Now, look what I've gone and done. What do you mean, Rib? Oh, I mean the way I let Mark Covellich make fool of me down the hall last night. Why, he didn't make a fool of you, Rib? Well, maybe. Of course, you know that he's having a rally at the hall tonight himself. Yes, I know. You going, Doc? Oh, well, yes, I sort of thought I might. Do you think I should go, Doc, at him? No, Rib. No, I don't think you should go. Yeah, I was afraid of that. But I think Dunk Webb should go. Dunk Webb? Why, he's just the kid that works for me in my store. I know. Why, he ain't even of legal age, can't even vote. I know that, Rib. But listen, how does this sound to you? Now, to introduce to you the man who performed all the mighty office of Mayor of our town, who is here to appeal to you for your votes to save Shederton from the scrappy. This evening, as many of you know, my opponent held forth in his very same auditorium. At that time, with his permission, I had the rare privilege of asking him a few questions. Among the questions I asked him was this, what are you going to do about taxes? Did he answer that question? No. Then I asked him a most pertinent question concerning a subject which is very near and dear to the hearts of all of us at this time. Are you going to see to it that the new high school is built? Was he able to answer that important question? No. Shederton was going to pay for the new high school. Was he able to answer that one? No. He mumbled something about referring the matter to the city councilor, something about a new tax. A new tax indeed. Tell you how to pay for that new high school and not raise taxes one meal for the next year. Shederton will have its new high school all right, but we're going to float a bond issue. Ever heard of a municipal bond issue? Mr. Bliss, as we all know, is the proprietor of the largest grocery store in Shederton, and no doubt he knows all about soap and vegetables and meat and staples and that. Mr. Trowbridge. Well, what is it? What are you interrupting me this way for? Mayor Trowbridge, do you know who I am? No, of course not. Why should I? Not run along. Well, I'm Dunqueb. I bill of groceries for Mr. Bliss. Oh, I see. Well, what is it you want? Well, I've got a bill here for $72.50 that you've owed Bliss' grocery for five months. What? What? Well, how dare you, you little meddlesome. Can you give me the money, Mr. Trowbridge? Oh, this is an outrage. Of course I can't give you the money right at this moment. Well, Mr. Bliss and me, well, we was wondering if you thought you might raise a bond issue to pay this bill. You see, it's only $72.50. Well, this is an outrage. Benson, do something about this. I've ruined. Benson, where are you? Benson, where's my thing for me? Now, Rip, quit walking up and down like that. Well, why don't they call us in the... No, I can't stand this waiting much longer. Now, patience, Rip. It won't be long now. They must have counted the ballots by now. Now, that must be it. Hello. Yes? Yes. Yes, let's go ahead. What is it, Doc? What is it? Oh, hush, Rip. Hush. Hello? Yes? Thanks, Alice. Well, Rip? Yes? You're the next mayor of Cederton. Huh? I guess we sort of put it over that time, didn't we? Yeah, yeah. Oh, we... Oh, no, Doc Adams, it was you. And you don't have any idea how grateful I am to you, Grant. Really, I don't know how to reward you. Reward me? Why? I don't want any reward. I just did what I thought was best for the town. That's all. Oh, but I appreciate it, Grant. More than anybody else. And... You know what I'm going to do? No. What are you going to do? Well, I'm going to appoint you chief of police of Cederton. What? Yes, sir. I'll be coming, Rip. But you can't do that, right? I'll be coming, Rip. But you can't do that, right? This is the family doctor. I'll be in to see you again right soon. Goodbye.