 وأقول في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزالو وأقول قال الله جل جلالوه والمصطف الهدي ولا أتأوالو الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته كل محب is due for Allah alone and we ask Allah to exalt the mention in grant peace to our messenger Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم to his family and his companions Welcome to another installment in this short course brought to you by المدرسة العمارية on the topic of the Muslim family In this video I would like to do something a little bit different first of all what I want to do in this video is kind of to finish up the previous discussions to kind of tidy up any unfinished things that we had mentioned that we hadn't gone into detail or a hadith that I had mentioned or آيات that I had mentioned and I had said we will deal with this later on there were a few of them as I was going back through the videos so I gathered them together and I added a few more also from other sources so Insha'Allah it's a little bit about just finishing up our discussion and concluding our discussion on the original topic which we talked about briefly the Muslim family and then marriage the characteristics of the husband and the characteristics of the wife so we just finishing up and concluding what we had spoken about but I wanted not only to conclude but also to make this a little bit more interactive and what I'm going to do is for every hadith or آيات that I mentioned I'm going to ask you to pause the video and for you yourself or the people who are watching at home with you to discuss and to think about where this hadith or the آيات fits in in terms of the discussion that we have had in the previous sessions and try to understand some of the benefits that can be taken from it and then I will tell you where I think it fits in and some of the benefits I took from it and when it comes to taking benefits from hadith and آيات is very possible that you're going to think of benefits from these آيات and آيات that I didn't think of and that's absolutely fine Insha'Allah so nothing to worry about if you come up with slightly different answers as long as they are insha'Allah broadly within the meaning of the hadith or broadly valid So we're going to start insha'Allah with our first hadith عن آيشة رضي الله عنها قالت قادم رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من غزوة تبوك أو خيبر وفي سهوتها ستر فهبت ريح فكشفت ناحية الستر عن بنات لعائشة لعب فقال ما هذا يا عائشة قالت بنات وراء بينهن فرس له جناحان من رقم من رقاع فقال ما هذا الذي أرى وسطهن قالت فرس قال وما هذا الذي عليه قالت جناحان قال فرس له جناحان قالت أما سمعت أن لسليمان خيلا لها أجنحة قالت فضحك حتى رأيت نواجدها Our first hadith is a hadith of our mother Aisha رضي الله تعالى عنها وارضاها In which she said the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم And this hadith by the way is narrated in Sunan Abi Dawud That the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم came from غزوة تبوك أو غزوة خيبر And in the store area the area where Aisha used to store her things There was a curtain covering the store room or the store cupboard the store area where Aisha used to keep her things And a wind blew the curtain away so it exposed some of the things that were in the cupboard And one of the things that it showed the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم it caught his eye Is that there were some figures or dolls that belonged to Aisha that she was playing with some toys that she was playing with Now here we want to be very clear and we're going to mention in شاء الله تعالى In a subsequent hadith to be really clear here that this is not the permissibility of keeping all kinds of things with faces And Barbie dolls and you know things like that that's not the meaning here And we're going to hear very clearly in a subsequent hadith the limits and the restrictions that exist on this But what we say is in شاء الله تعالى and the sort of balanced opinion on this is that what Aisha had is She had very rough sort of rag doll kind of figures without faces without proper facial features And these dolls they belonged to Aisha she would play with them or she used to play with them before And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said what are these or Aisha she said these are my my banat Banat means my daughters my dolls and in the middle of them there was a horse And the horse it had two wings made of leather The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said what is that I see in the middle of the of the dolls She said it's a horse he said what's this on the horse she said it's got two wings The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said a horse with two wings a horse with two wings She said didn't you hear that soley man had horses with wings She said the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم لفت and when we say he laughed it means that he smiled Because he never laughed out loud صلى الله عليه وسلم didn't make noise when he laughed He smiled or he laughed until I saw his molar teeth I saw the back of his teeth So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم here he smiled when he heard what Aisha said رضي الله تعالى عنها Pause the video and ask yourself where does this hadith fit into our discussion Is it ideal husband ideal wife Muslim family what the general topic of marriage or the concept of marriage in Islam Where does it fit in and what are some of the benefits in on the topics we've been discussing As it relates to the Muslim family that you can take from this hadith So إن شاء الله تعالى you pause the video and إن شاء الله تعالى you had a good think about that I actually first of all put this hadith the topic of the ideal husband Because to me it just shows the excellent way the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to be with Aisha And with all of his wives صلى الله عليه وسلم و رضي الله عنهن مي الله بي please with them All in مي الله ازوجل اكساط the mention of grand peace to our messenger محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم It's a beautiful way that Aisha رضي الله عنها How she used to be how the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to be with her So you see the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم here First of all not everything is serious we know the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم had a very very In fact no one had a more serious and a more weighty and a bigger responsibility in their role in life Than our messenger محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم But still he asked Aisha was this was this in the middle And then he had that kind of soft and almost a little Not even a joke I think the word joke can be misunderstood Because a lot of times people lie when they're joking and things But that kind of light hearted conversation with Aisha when he says Does a horse have two wings and she said don't you didn't you hear that Soleyman had horses with wings is very very beautiful discussion And a very very beautiful example of interaction between husband and wife As for the issue of toys and dolls I think this is something we have to delay and discuss When it comes to the issue of children But we're just going to broadly mention it in case you don't catch the subsequent videos And maybe somebody gets confused Then we're just going to summarize it and say it's not allowed to have pictures in the house Of living things i.e. animals, human beings and so on It's not allowed to have dolls or statues or anything like that However it is permissible for a young Muslim girl to have some rough shaped dolls Which could be like rag dolls or like dolls made of wool That don't have proper facial features We definitely don't want anything that resembles the kind of Barbie doll kind of thing Which is very sort of realistic has facial features and so on But the kind of things that people would call rag dolls and so on And part of the benefit of that is first of all They don't have any facial features so they don't resemble the creation of Allah And secondly they serve a purpose as it relates to Tarbiyah As it relates to bringing up the children And developing certain characteristics within them Particularly for the young Muslim girl We're going to get into that when we talk about children But we just wanted to clarify here so that somebody didn't misunderstand And maybe didn't catch the subsequent videos And that's going to become clear إن شاء الله تعالى in our next حديث It's another حديث from Aisha رضي الله عنها تقول دخل علي رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وقد سترته سهوة لي بقرام فيه تمثيل فلما رأىه هتكه وتلونا وجهه I'll translate the first bit first and we'll get to the second bit Aisha رضي الله عنها she said that the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم Came into my home, came into where I was And I had covered a shelf that I had with a curtain On which there were images And the interesting thing here is the other روايات Explain that the images were horses with wings The images were horses with wings So it seems that Aisha رضي الله عنها That was something that she liked generally in terms of And we know the history of the Arabs and the horses And the love they had of horses She had pictures of horses with wings on a curtain Now the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم remember Allowed her to keep the doll And Al-Hafid Ibn Hajar رحم الله تعالى Mentioned that this was quite late In the life of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم After Ghazwa al-Tabuk or Khaybar So it wasn't something early in the days of Medina He allowed her to keep that rough-shaped Horse with wings that wasn't realistic That didn't have all the facial features He allowed her to keep that صلى الله عليه وسلم But when he saw this picture of a horse with wings He ripped it down And his face changed The color of his face The color of his face changed The Hadith continues And he said يا عائشة أشد الناس عذابا عند الله يوم القيامة الذين يضاهون بخلق الله قالت عائشة فقطعناه فجعلنا منه وسادة أو وسادتين He said يا عائشة The people who are going to be the worst in punishment On the day of resurrection Are those people who compete with the creation of Allah عائشة said We cut it up and we made from it A pillow or two a cushion Or two cushions or a pillow And two pillows Where does this Hadith fit in? The ideal husband The ideal wife The concept of marriage Where does it fit in? What are some of the benefits you're going to take? Pause the video or have a think So Insha'Allah You've had a chance to think about that one Insha'Allah Where I put this in Is I actually put it into Almost all the categories But definitely the ideal wife And the ideal husband On the topic of the ideal wife There are two points that I take from this First of all She saw the face of the Prophet's isam change And this is an amazing characteristic For her wife to have That she knows her husband's mood Even by looking at him That she doesn't even need to Hear him say something And we know the Prophet's isam tore it down But we've seen many narrations And different Ahadith that indicate That they used to see the anger Of the Prophet's isam in his face So Aisha she used to know And likewise The Prophet's isam Used to know When Aisha was upset As we have in another Hadith That he said That he knew when Aisha When she became upset Because when she became When she was happy with him That she would say That I swear by The Lord of Muhammad I swear by Allah I swear by the Lord of Muhammad And when she was upset with him She would say I swear by the Lord of Ibrahim So look at how The husband and wife Know each other From even sort of gestures Or indications Even just the look on a face Even just a subtle word That is used They know each other from that They know each other from that So I feel that is extremely important And it's a great A beautiful characteristic for a husband And a wife to have To know each other And to know when someone is upset Even from small gestures And small Small actions And the way they look on their face Also her obedience to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam The fact that She took it down The Prophet's isam Of course She will obey the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam As a Prophet No doubt That He didn't like it He wasn't happy with it And of course Him not liking it Was a religious matter It was a revelation From Allah سبحانه وتعالى But even a normal situation That a wife sees a husband Doesn't like something And she made from it A cushion Or she made two Cushions from it So it comes under that as well Also from the characteristics Of the ideal husband We can take from it And we mentioned this generally In topic of the Muslim family The importance of commanding And forbidding Evil And that the Prophet Didn't leave it He didn't let it go He didn't You know Just say that Oh it doesn't matter We'll deal with it later She's young You know She likes horses With wings Just let it be Instead He's Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Took it seriously And he made sure That he established The good in his household And that he forbade the evil In his household Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam And that's an example That's an example For all of us A Hadith I'm the Hadith from I'm the Aisha This one In Bukhari The Muslim About Aisha That she said She came to a mosque To pray for a night On a day In the mosque So I prayed To the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam And I put my head On his head And I made I made I made I made I made I made I made I made I made I made And I looked At them The Abyssinians came And they were displaying Their military prowess You know Kind of like a military display On a day of aid In the masjid So the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Called me And I put my head On his shoulder And I started To watch them playing Because they were doing it As an entertainment As a play But also It was of a benefit لأنه كان لديهم ملتراحة، لأننا نرى في الثلاثة نورة أنهم كانوا تلعبون مع سبير حتى أنه كان لدينا من يقرأ أننا لدينا مستوى وراء أننا نرى أن نرى them هذا هو الثلاثة نورة، سنرى الثلاثة نورة والله لقد رأيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقوموا على باب حجرتي والحبشة يلعبون بحرابهم في مسجد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يستوروني بلدائه لكي أنظر إلى لاعبهم فلقد Then she said that I saw the Messenger of Allah trig'an at the door of my apartment and the Armenians were playing with their spears in the message of the Messenger of Allah and he was covering me with his ridat the ridat is the garment which goes over the shoulder you know like when you wear that haram and you have the bottom part in the top part the one that goes over the shoulder so any garment that you wear like that أن المسيح يردون على أعلى أخوه يدعم رداءه. أنه يتكبرها لكي يستطيع أن يفتغله ثم يقوم من أجلي فهي كان يقوم من my sake حتى أكون أنا التي أنصرف إلى المال التي كنت أحبها أن أخذت حدًا من يحاول الوالج فاقضروا قدرة الجارية الحديثة السن حريصة على الله. يجب أن تذكر المحتوى المحتوى المحتوى of a young girl who is young in age and she is keen or she wants to be entertained she wants to have fun. Where do you think this Hadith falls into our discussion that we've had so far? Have a think about that one. So Insha'Allah you guys have had a think about it. Where I think it fits in is a beautiful Hadith in the characteristics of the ideal husband. And that is the prophet Sism gave Aisha time and he took care of her in terms of even her desire to have a little bit of fun to enjoy herself from time to time and one of the most beautiful things I think in this is the statement of Aisha ثم يقوم من أجلي He stood for me حتى أكون أنا التي أنصرف until it was me who made the decision to leave And you can imagine the prophet Sism is covering her, it's not, you know, he is tired, it's hard She's got her head on his shoulder, he's covering her with the garment that is over his upper body He's covering her with his upper garment And he's standing on his two feet صلى الله عليه وسلم For how long? He never says Aisha that's enough, now finish Aisha You know, it's enough for you, just go back He waited and waited and waited until Aisha said I've had enough Sometimes it's even alluded to the fact that Aisha actually stayed longer than she wanted to To see how the prophet S.A.W. would behave In other words, she waited to see that he was, it was a big thing to her That he was standing for her He was standing for her sake and she was a young girl You know, we said the prophet S.A.W. had great responsibilities The greatest responsibilities of any human being صلى الله عليه وسلم And yet he stood for entertainment, for something which was a play Something which was just, you know, yesterday as we said It was playing that was beneficial And this is always, whenever a Muslim entertains themselves Or plays, first of all, it must always be حلال And second of all, it should be something that is beneficial For example, if someone plays a sport And that sport keeps them fit, keeps them healthy Allows them to worship Allah Then that is The permissible kind of entertainment Which is, you're enjoying yourself, you're having a bit of fun But you're doing something that's beneficial The Abyssinians were throwing spears Which is a skill which you use in war So it was incredibly beneficial When they would join the Muslim army For them to have that skill But they were doing it in the Masjid As a bit of entertainment for the people to watch And there is no harm in that from time to time It's not something that happens every day And it's not that the prophet S.A.W. spent all day And all night entertaining Aisha رضي الله عنها Wanting to have fun and so on But he did, he saw that At the end of the day We've said that there are restrictions on Muslim women There's no doubt There are restrictions on Muslim men too Because our religion is a religion of Islam It's submission to Allah A.S Submitting to Allah A.S And therefore there are going to be Restrictions There are going to be things that Limit what we can do And so we should sometimes Even though we limit ourselves In what Allah has made permissible There's no harm sometimes In having a little bit of الله المباح Permissible entertainment A little bit of relaxation A little bit of fun And a husband taking care of his wife In that regard If he's going to say to her I want you to base yourself around the home I want you to be like The queen who is in the palace I want you to kind of take care of Those things and be responsible for them He still needs to give Consideration to the fact that Sometimes she wants to have a little bit of entertainment A little bit of fun But let it be حلال Let it be something Which is beneficial And let it be also Within Like not too frequent Let it be within the time Which is reasonable So that it doesn't overtake The more important matters And so on But if you look at How much the Prophet Took care of Aisha And how much he loved Aisha That he stood On his own feet In order for In order for Aisha to be satisfied In order for Aisha to be satisfied And perhaps he didn't want to watch Or he only wanted to watch For a short time But Aisha رضي الله عنها He stood for her من أجلها For her sake So this is a really beautiful description Of the characteristic of The Muslim husband And how he made Aisha feel That she said ثم يقوم من أجل Just for me he stood there And that is really A beautiful description Of how A husband should make His wife feel So we move on again To our Next Hadith So for our next Hadith is also the Hadith of our mother Aisha رضي الله عنها عن Aisha رضي الله عنها أنها كانت مع النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم في سفر قالت فسابقته فسابقته على رجلي فلما حملت اللحمة سابقته فسابقني قال لهذه بتلك السبقة This Hadith is narrated In أبي دود سنة أبي دود فرعا ماذا Aisha رضي الله عنها She said I was with the Prophet In Some of his Journey One of his journeys She said I raised him And I beat him On my I raised him on my feet I raised him By foot Foot race And I beat him I won the race She said When I had put on weight Another time When I had put on weight I raised him And he beat me He won the race And he said هاذي بتلك السبقة He said This time I won Is to get you back Or to pay you back For the other time That you won Where do you think this Hadith Fits into our discussion Have a think So Inshallah You've had a think about it I think this again Comes into The ideal husband In terms of The way the Prophet Was with Aisha Playing with her We talked about the importance We talked about In the part of the Hadith When she entered When she came out When she came out We talked about the importance Of being playful With your family The Prophet Raised with Aisha But I'm not This is something Private between the two of them Not in front of The eyes of the people Or anything like that Had a race with Aisha The first time She won Because she was very young And she was very light And then When she had put on weight Because she had become older And the Prophet Took care of her She had put on some weight And then She raced with him And he won And he said And it was so sweet Though he said it To her He said that This is for that Like that See now I won Because you won The first time So now I won The second time And I just think That's how To talk In a sweet way To your wife To be kind To be friendly To be fun To be playful And again That shouldn't be The whole time In the sense that It shouldn't be That a man is never serious And that's why We talked about this Also in the When we spoke about إذا دخل فهد و إخرج أسد It's not right For the man to be like He's never ever serious And he's always You know He doesn't He's foolish And we spoke about it Also in the حديث أمزر عن من هو طباقه، فولش، سلي، و ليس صحيح و نحن نتحدث عنه، ليس كيف يجب أن يكون كل الوقت لكن بعض الوقت من الوقت that he takes that time to play with his wife to talk sweetly to his wife these are all beautiful examples from our messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم أول حديث عن اكرمة عن ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما قال إني لا أحب أن تزيّن للمرأة كما أحب أن تزيّن لي لأن الله عز وجل يقول ولهن مثل الذي عليهم This is narrated by Imam Al-Sunan Al-Kubra and it is an author from ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما He said that I love to adorn myself for my wife just as I love for her to adorn herself for me because Allah says ولهن مثل الذي عليهم that they have rights similar or equal to those that the rights that the husbands have over them so this actual author is mentioned in تفسير in the تفسير of the ayah ولهن مثل الذي عليهم بالمعروف and we've got this ayah is going to come إن صورة البقرة the ayah is going to come in our discussion on the rights of the husband and the rights of the wife so that's not an issue we're going to come to that but here I wanted to take this the action of ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما that I love to adorn myself to make myself look good you know it can be the way that he dresses it could be the way that he puts perfume the way that he takes care of his appearance for his wife because I want her to do the same for me and Allah said women have rights that are the same or that are an equivalent of the rights that their husbands have over them so if the husband has the right for his wife to dress up for him then she has the right for her husband to adorn himself and dress up for her and we said that this could come under the ideal husband or the ideal wife could put under either to be honest that the husband adorns himself looks good for his wife takes care of his appearance in front of his wife and likewise the reverse the wife looks takes care of herself in front of her husband and takes care of how she looks in front of her husband so that's actually all we have time for in this particular episode so we still have some أحادي لفص so we'll continue those in the next episode إن شاء الله تعالى continue to ask you guys to try and fit them in to where they go in the course and then إن شاء الله we can move on from there to discussing the contract of marriage and the essence of that contract and what it means that's what Allah إزوجال مدهيزي for me to mention and Allah knows best والصلاة والسلام علي بين محمد وعاله آله وصحبه أجمعي السلام عليكم if you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com