 Hi, I'm Matthew Coest, head dating coach and founder at commitmentconnection.com and in this video we're going to talk about casual relationships after nine years of being together and whether that's possible. But before we talk about that, if you're struggling to attract the right man into a committed lasting relationship, make sure that you go to my website at commitmentconnection.com and take my quiz. So today's question comes from a woman in our community and she asks, can you be in a casual relationship, friend with benefits, after being together for nine years? And the answer is yes. You can definitely be in a casual relationship after nine years. The length of time that you're together has no bearing on what type of relationship that you're in. For a guy, a guy can be in a casual relationship forever and never think of you as something, anything more than just a friend with benefits and that's very important to remember. One of the, you know, a lot of women kind of have this timeline where, you know, they go, there's like these significant events where like, you know, he goes and meets or you meet his family or he meets your family or, you know, you move in together or you know, you are hooking up with each other every single day or, you know, he takes you out and buys you dinner or, you know, gives you flowers or whatever, you know, and those events that happen to a lot of women mean that the relationship is moving forward. To a man, none of that means that things are moving forward at all. Okay, none of it does. I mean, it should be a big red flag if he's not willing to do any of those things. But doing those things doesn't mean that he thinks of you any more like as something more than he thought of you before those things happen. There's no, it's not a timeline for him. It's not part of, you know, you guys it's just a natural thing that should happen. And if it doesn't, it's a problem. So my suggestion is that you stop wasting any more time with this guy. I mean, nine years. Wow. Yeah, I mean, if you've been in a casual relationship for nine years, you've pretty much just wasted nine years unless, you know, I mean, if you had a great time with them and it was good, you know, that's awesome. And, you know, I would look back on that and be like, oh, that was a great time. But if your goal is to get married, you need to stop, stop what you're doing right now and go get into a real relationship with a man who wants something real with you. So that's it for this video. If you want to know more about what's stopping you from attracting the right man into a committed lasting relationship, go to my website at CommitmentConnection.com and take my quiz. I'm Matthew Coast and I'll speak with you again soon.