 My name is Anjebari Innocent and I will be your host for this program. Much if it's celebrated as International Women's Day and in celebrating this day, the International Women's Network in Collaboration with NTN and the Gender Relations Department have sought to create this program titled Celebrating Women and Their Contributions. On today's program, we will be looking at a mother and a wife. Now, the thing about a mother is one of the first people that most babies see when they're born, as they're born, is their mother. So a mother plays a very important role in a child's life. And as a woman, there's, women tend to, at some point in their life, most of them tend to be a mother of some kind. So celebrating the womanhood in terms of motherhood is a very interesting person on our program today, Ms. Janelle Mark. Welcome Ms. Janelle Mark to the program. Yes, thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. All right. Now, what as a mother, Ms. Mark, as a mother, what is one of the things you enjoy most about being a mother? What is the most enjoyable part about being a mother to you as a woman? Well, one of the most enjoyable parts about being a mom is when you're having a bad day, when you're having a bad day and you go home to your children, the children uplift you, you know, they make you feel better, especially if you're really down. You know, you get that joy from your children. You know, they make you laugh and you just feel, you know, a comfort in your children. Wow. That's interesting. You know, I think I share that same sentiment as a father also. And one of the things I enjoy is when I do get home and the way my daughter is excited to see me, it does make you kind of forget about how bad the day was even as a bad day at all, you know, and that is a true statement in fact. Yes. I understand you have both a boy and a girl. Yes, I do. Wonderful. Now, I heard that I had a young boy talking to his father once and he said to his dad, he said, Daddy, I know mommy better than you, you know. And his father said, no, no, no, no. You know, me and mommy have been married for almost 10 years. We just came out about five years ago. How could you know your mommy better than me? And the boy said, listen, daddy, I spent nine months with mommy. Everywhere she go, I was there. Every move she made, I was there. When you knew mommy for the nine years, there were days you'd go to work, days you'd go out. But mommy, mommy and I stayed together for nine years. And I just kind of laughed because it was very interesting that the young boy would look at this perspective on motherhood that you would say his relationship with his mom is so tight or so close that he alerted it to the fact that he was nine months in his mother's womb. So let me tell you, you have a boy and a girl. What was it like raising a boy as compared to raising a girl? Is there any major differences? What was it like for you? Well, as a mother is in a boy, you would need to learn a lot about men and, you know, what to expect of them in the future and what to expect of your son physically and as he grows, you know, as a young man. So, you know, I would constantly be reading up on the internet about how to raise a boy and what I what I observed is that boys are really, really active and sometimes it's so difficult to keep a boy in one place, especially when they're very young. But with the girls, the girls tend to be more calm in most cases, but the girls can be a bit loud and noisy. So they both have their challenges. Interesting. Interesting. And as a mom, I guess the whole aspect of nutrition for your children. As a mother, what would you have to see about the nutrition of your children and how do you manage that aspect of their life? It was a proper nutrition. Well, this is one of the most difficult parts of raising children because children tend to love sweets and KFC and, you know, fries and chicken and stuff like that. So you need to try and, as a mother, try and find ways more like trying and trick them into eating what they don't like. For instance, you would tell them what would happen to them in their own way, you know, what would happen if you don't eat vegetables and fruits and drink, you know, enough water as a child. And you could also, as a mother, you could as well tell them, well, if you eat your vegetables, I'll give you a candy. I'll give you, you know, something that they really like. Interesting. We're going to go out for ice cream. So it motivates them to eat. And this motivates them. For me, it really does. Wonderful. I remember a little boy that I was caring for for a little while and his mom left the lunch for him and he would not eat the food. So when he came to my office and his mom left him with me, I told him, you know, I said to him, let's see who can eat all our food the fastest. So I said, let's make a risk. Let's see who can eat food fastest. And he took it on the challenge. And for him, that motivated him. So by the time I could start eating halfway my lunch, he already finished one. He said to me, I won, I won. So I think it's an interesting concept. You mentioned that it is good to find a way to motivate the children to eat and eat the right things. Yes. Yes. And I'm glad that you used sort of a prize or sort of a reward to encourage them to eat the right things. I think that's very interesting. And I know also that you, as a mom, you must be thinking about your child's future. What would you like to say to the other moms out there in terms of planning your child's life? And what would you speak, how would you speak to that issue, planning your child's life? Well, in terms of planning a child's life, the first thing that a mother needs to do is to plan her life. Okay. You know, you can't just have children without a plan. You need to interesting, you know, sort out your life, you know, educate yourself or get skills, you know, then find a job where you could provide for your children because it's really hurtful if a mother has children and, you know, she's unable to provide for them. Interesting. Because in order for a child to get educated, you must have funds, you must have, you know, a salary coming in on a monthly basis in order to provide for your children. That's true. That's true because I heard some mothers talk about, even parents talk about putting some money aside. Like, even if it's, you know, you're pregnant or your parents have a child, like sometimes they put aside, say, $50 a month and it just builds up, builds up. So this, by the time the child comes to, all right, ready for school, there's some level of savings. I heard some, some go to their various plans and various financial institutions where they have a part of the salary going to a plan, but the plan is basically a financial plan that, you know, it grows over the years. By the time the child is ready to go to university or secondary school, that there's something growing without having a big bite in your pocket, you know. I think that's very interesting what you said about the planning. Yes, that's one way of, that's not your child's future. Yes, very good, very good. Yes. So also, in this day and age, where it tends to be so much, you know, illicit behavior in some places, you know, a mother, I guess, would have to think about the protection of a child. You know, where would I live my child? Who would I live my child with? You know, how safe is it to live my child with such a person or such a person? What can you tell us about child safety? How, you know, in terms of protecting your child from pedophiles and that type of activity? Okay, so one way you could protect your child from pedophiles is number one, do not ever leave your child in the care of someone that you don't know fully. Okay. You know, you need to have a relationship of the person. You need to know, you know, how the person lives their life, what they're doing, you know. You could also ask people who, you know, know about the person. What do you know about such and such a person? And then based on what they say, then you can decide whether it is safe to leave your child in that person's care because if a child is hurt by a pedophile, this would scar their life. That's true. That's very true. No matter what, you have to protect our children. That is so very true what you said. I mean, we've all heard the ugly stories out there where this has happened to some people and to some children, so it's a really virtuous thought, you know, and we have to bear that in mind. Yes. And you have to know the signs that when, if you leave your child somewhere, you have to know the signs of when the child is going through something like that, you know. You know, the signs, sometimes, so I've heard some psychologists talk about the changing behaviors, you know, the child might, whenever the child sees that person, the child might be scared or afraid or, you know. So, these are some of the things that I've heard some psychologists say that, you know, when you see those signs that you ought to be careful. Yes, zero signs. Yes, you ought to be careful. Very interesting thoughts, Ms. Mark. Another very important thing I think for most parents is, you know, how do I raise my child the right way? How do I make sure, what can I do as a mother, you know, to raise my child in a way that, you know, they grew up to be a upstanding citizen of the country, away from crime, away from bad things. Do you have any thoughts on that you'd like to share with us? Yes, I do. The number one way in training your child into following the right path in life is to know God, to know Jesus Christ, and to allow him to guide your life, you know. Pray to God, pray to Christ, and he would give you that guidance as to where you should go, because in life sometimes we make decisions, and this is not what God really wants for us, and walking down the right path can eventually cause you to be depressed, because nothing would be more hurtful to you to look back at your life and say, you know what, I regret that I did not do such and such a thing. If I had done that, my life would have been a lot better. Okay, interesting. So the number one thing is to allow your child to go to church, you know, and get to know God and develop that relationship with God. The second thing you need to do is to have a relationship with your child, always speak to your child and explain to them, you know, give them, enlighten them as to what life is about, and why they should not make mistakes, like taking drugs or getting hooked on alcohol, and many other things, you know. Interesting. Solid, some solid food for thought. And the other thing is you could have a relationship with your child, where you sit down with them, you read with them, you laugh with them, ask them questions, you know, how was your day? What did you do for the day? How was school? Okay, thank you, Ms. Mapp. I must say that, you know, you've said some very profound things and some very stuff that is very realistic and virtuous and applicable to everyday life as parents, you know, and in particular for mothers. I want to thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us, Ms. Mapp. Now, today, apart from just discussing motherhood with Ms. Mapp, one of the things we want to do in today's program, since we're celebrating women, we want to look at the exhibit on the showcasing of talent. Now, Ms. Mapp is a talented area of singing viewers. She's a powerful singer. So, we want to invite Ms. Mapp to, at this point, to showcase a talent of singing to you. So, stay tuned. To you so old and the sorrow that you know will melt away and then a hero comes along with the strength to carry on and you cast your fears aside and you know you can survive. So, when you feel that hope is gone, look inside you and be strong and you'll finally see the truth that a hero lies and you face the world inches out ahead. If you search within your emptiness, you felt will disappear and then a hero comes along with the strength to carry and you cast your fears aside and you know you can survive. So, when you feel like hope is gone, look inside and you'll finally see the truth as your fears aside. You can serve. Wasn't that a performance? Didn't she sing like a canary? Oh, viewers, I don't know about you, but I enjoyed Ms. Mapp's talent showcase. It was wonderful. Now, folks, we also, we looked at a mother. The other woman we want to look at is a wife and we speak to no other than Ms. Melissa Cheribin, who is a wife and also an accountant. Welcome, Ms. Cheribin. Mrs. Cheribin, I should say. Welcome to the program as we discussed and celebrate women and international women's day. Thank you so much for going to come. Thank you for having me. You're welcome. You're welcome. Tell us for starters, what do you enjoy most about being a wife? To be honest, I as an individual and who is also a Christian, I believe in God's will and I believe when he said that no man should be alone and I don't think there is anything I don't enjoy being a wife. Yes, it do has its ups and downs, its challenges, but that's one of the good things about it because God will not give us anything that he knows that we cannot handle. So I would say I enjoy everything about being a wife. Wonderful. On the note or the point you mentioned about not being alone, man not being alone, that is a critical issue because being alone is something that affects a lot of people and even in correctional facilities, some criminals they actually isolate them as a form of punishment and isolation is something or being alone is something that can be very detrimental to one's psyche and one's emotional makeup. So I could understand that a woman being from man in a house as a wife, that companionship is very critical. I guess when he comes home he has somebody that he can always talk about his day if he wants to and you yourself can have someone to talk to. Yes, it goes both ways. Yes, I know how important it is for ladies to be able to express themselves and talk about things. So it's a two-way thing I guess. Yes, it is. And you said there's no major difficulty that you want to talk about. Most times it's good. Well, 99% of the time I do enjoy that 1%. I try not to let that 1% overpower the 99% of my enjoyment of being married because like I said marriage has its ups and downs and that is the 1%. So we have to, we as individuals, human beings, why should not allow that 1% to overpower and ruin our marriage? That's true. Which God blessed us with. That's true. And when one marriage counselor said, she used the methodology or the principle of 80-20 and she says look at the 80% that's good and sometimes you have to either walk on or ignore the 20% that bad but basically what she's saying is there's normally a lot more good about being a wife than there is bad. So I appreciate that point. But can I ask you, on the good side of the marriage thing, what is the part you enjoy the most? What would be the part of the marriage that you enjoy the most? If I can ask that, that's okay. My husband is a, he can be a very serious individual but he's also a very funny person. And let me tell you once, when you see no one is home, if I'm home by myself the place will be quiet. Once he's home by himself the place will be quiet. But once the two of us are there, there's noise in the area. I always tell him that our neighbors would always know when both of us are home. Because he makes me laugh and that's one of the things I really love about him, that he is a funny person as well. And he makes me laugh. That's wonderful. That's very important. I mean after, sometimes in life when you come from after a day of meeting all kinds of people, sometimes some of them haters, some of them backstabbers, some of them betrayers. I mean you meet some good people too, sometimes you meet some bad ones. But to come home to a companion that can make you laugh, I think that's a wonderful thing to have. I want to think about, I like to encourage viewers. It's a wonderful thing for you to come home to a wife or husband that can make his wife or her husband laugh. That's critical. In life that's a critical thing. Yeah. Also, what are some of the lessons you've learned through your marriage? Is there anything, any lesson you can look back and say, you know, if I had to do it over again, I would either focus more on this one or I would do this or I'd do less of that. Anything you would, when you look back over the years, anything you'd want to do again or anything you would rather stay away from? I don't think there's anything that I would change because everything happens for a reason, a purpose and a plan that God has designed for. And if I didn't go through the ups and downs, I would not be who I am today. And I would not be the understanding person that I am. The patience that I have because when you, when you by yourself, that's one thing. But then when you start to live with someone else that is a totally different thing that there's a new set of changes that you have to do and so forth. And I don't regret any of it. So yeah, that's just basically it. I don't regret because I've learned a lot and I'm still learning. And to your? Yes. So you're saying that when you do, when you, when someone marries, is the whole environment changes as a single person to married person because now you're sharing your whole world. That's a completely different thing. You share everything now. You share a bed, you share food, you even share the cost of things in the house. You share space. So there's a lot of sharing going on. A lot of, I guess, giving and taking. Yes, that's so true. What are some of the things that you and your husband like doing? I mean, you said you like laughing, but what sort of things, when comes to probably going out on dates or what kind of things you'll do to strengthen the marriage? Well, we basically spend time watching our favorite shows. Like, well, not really. I would say when I see him watching something that he likes, I go and join him and we, you know, interact, all that helps to build up the marriage and stuff like that. So it's not basically what only I like or what only he likes, but it's what we both, we tend to lean on each other and enjoy each other's company and our likes and, you know, what we don't like, we put it on our side and we come together as one. I truly like what you said. It's truly pragmatic and it's truly applicable because even in my life, surprisingly, my wife likes cricket more than me. She loves cricket. I mean, she knows all the players' names, she knows all the different teams, and I'm not a big lover of cricket. I watch it, but not as much as she watches or not as much as I enjoy it, but what I do according to you is sometimes a game is playing and I just want to watch it because it's important to share what she enjoys with me. So I'd go and see if I can watch a game with her. Yeah. Sometimes when it's really hot and West Indies playing, I would go and watch it voluntarily. But sometimes I just go and watch it because just to make her happy, you know, she just loves cricket. And likewise, herself, I mean, I like to hear a good preacher sometimes and good preaching, like TD Jakes, and sometimes she would just come and sit with me. Someone would call and say, come on here, come on here, and she would come and, you know, and I feel pleased to have a, you know, share that experience with me. So I understand what you're saying that it's good to be able to share even each other's enjoyments, you know, because when you're living somebody, you want to share what you like with them. Yes. So that's very practical what you say there. Yeah. What do you do? I am an assistant accountant. Okay. And I would, you can basically say I'm all over the place. I don't like to stick one place. So I am more an assistant accountant, but I tend to move in different departments. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. And in light of COVID, what's happening in terms of some people have to work more at home. As a wife, working more at home and having you have kids, I understand also. Yes, I do. How do you balance the working from home and having kids and having a husband at the same time? Is that, is that going okay? Or do you like saying anything about that? Sometimes it's a bit difficult, but especially when you have to monitor a teenager who's at secondary school and they're doing online courses. But I think I literally, I actually hear some people saying that it's difficult and I do understand where they're coming from. But right now, I think we just need to set priorities and set a plan that would be able to work for us. And that's what I did. And although they say, you know, social media, technology has, has its bad ways to aid, but I tend, I find it works for me because that's how I, I help my son with his online schooling. If I'm out on the road and he's having an issue or something, so he needs to ask me, he communicates, he calls me, he says, mommy, I'm having this issue and I would deal with it. So the phone, the social media, it's, it's a good thing right now. It helps a lot. Wonderful, wonderful. And do you have any advice you'd like to give a wife to be or a wife listening, based on your experiences, based on your knowledge? Is there anything in particular you want to say to any wife listening to you right now? Well, my best advice that I can give a woman out there is just to be kind to yourself, be respectful to yourself, don't be hard on yourself, and also love yourself first. Because if no, if you don't love you, who else will? So it's kind of like we mirror our people, individuals, other individuals mirror what they see. So if we mirror negativity, that's what we're going to get back. If we mirror positivity, that's what we're going to get back. So it's just basically, don't be hard on yourself, be true to yourself, ladies. Be respectful to yourself. And that is what you're going to get back. Very powerful words there. You know, make sure you can love your own self, ladies. Powerful words, powerful advice from Mrs. Cherubim. Thank you, my dear, for being there. Now, before you go, we want you to showcase your talent because on this broadcast and this program, we're not just talking about the issues, but we want to give, since we celebrate women, we want to celebrate women's talent. And I understand that you're a powerful singer also. So ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you what's coming to you next. The next thing you hear is the sound of Mrs. Melissa Cherubim singing and showcasing her talent singing. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for viewing. I trust that you are blessed. Let's continue this path of the right way as you encourage my two guests today and advise by them. Let us continue therein. God bless you. Have a wonderful day.