 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Palm olive shave creams for a smoother more comfortable way to shave bring you our miss Brooks transcribed and starring Eve Arden Time once again for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well, many people enjoy the brisk snappy weather of the winter season But our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School is definitely anti-cold In fact at the last count she was sleeping beneath 11 woolen blankets. I Kept warm enough that way, but it posed quite a problem for my landlady Yesterday when she came in to wake me up. She couldn't find me We solved that though now when I go to bed. I slip a bookmark under the bottom blanket Last Friday at breakfast I was complaining to mrs. Davis about the temperature in the house Now take this dear a nice steaming cup of coffee will warm you up in no time. Is it really hot piping hot Here's your cup. Never mind the cup. Just pour it over me Look mrs. Davis the days aren't so bad, but last night at 11 30 my room was absolutely freezing you could hang meat in there Connie wouldn't that mess up the wallpaper I Besides 11 30 seems awfully late for you to be up Connie. You'd be a lot warmer if you got to bed earlier I would have but I had to finish some extra typing for mr. Conklin our beloved principle has never been able to keep a secretary or no I know I think it's a shame the way he takes advantage of you. This isn't school business. He gives you visit No, most mostly personal correspondence reports and things and what does mr. Conklin give you for this work an occasional curtain odd Well if I were you I'd refuse to do any more for him in fact when you bring him this batch today You ought to put your foot down. I tried putting my foot down before mrs. Davis, but it just didn't work Why what did mr. Conklin do he stepped on it? Good morning, mr. Conklin. I brought in those papers you had me type last night. I just put them on my desk, please Hmm, what did you say perhaps you'd hear better if you'd remove those ridiculous ear muffs? They must have slipped down again, it's terribly chilly in school this morning mr. Conklin nonsense. It's just pleasantly brisk Now about these papers. I Miss Brooks you're familiar with the rules of this institution. Why are you smoking in school? I'm not smoking. That's my breath Your breath. Yes condensing in the pleasantly brisk air Mr. Conklin, are you sure there's enough coal in the furnace this morning? Well, of course the janitor has been authorized to burn 37 lumps before noon But sir, this is going to be an exceptionally cold day and 37 lumps of coal just won't get the job done Perhaps you're right. I'll contact the furnace room. Hand me the phone, please Here you are, sir I was good conklin to maintenance. I was good conklin to maintenance fire lumps 38 and 39 Fire lumps 38 and 39 that is all Ah, that should do it now. Let's see those papers here. They are mr. Conklin I stayed up until 11 30 last night, so I'd have them finished for you Well, I'm not unmindful of your labors in my behalf and I want you to know that your efforts will not go unrewarded In fact, because of your fine spirit of cooperation I have selected you as the one who will be permitted to type up my new report to the board of education I'm sorry, mr. Conklin, but teaching English is a full-time job for me And I just can't assume any extra duties, but somebody's got to do it Miss Enright just turned me down to as a matter of fact She's the one who suggested you for this honor. Oh, she did did she well Let me tell you shouldn't speak harshly of your fellow English teacher, Miss Brooks after all Miss Enright is quite fond of you Fond of me. Oh, she must be to pass such a nice compliment about you this morning She said she considered you one of her oldest friends. She did And then she said she likes you as well as some of her younger friends I Can't force you to perform this trifling task for me. So you might as well run along to your classroom Yes, sir, but as far as Miss Enright is concerned, I would like to miss Brooks You're speaking of a teacher who may soon be head of the English department. What the position is still open You know and for months now. I've been grooming Miss Enright. Good. That should make her coat nice and shiny Are you inferring that Miss Enright is a horse if the shoe fits nail it on me Me mr. Boynham, but I've got a free period right now and as I recall so have you well, that's right, Miss Brooks Is there anything I can do for you? I'd love to that is The real reason I dropped in here was to get away from my own classroom for a while Sometimes I wonder if all this effort is worth anything if I couldn't expend all this time and energy in another direction Say making a pleasant home for some man the way any normal woman does Well, you're certainly normal miss Brooks your muscular structure is good. You have a well-shaped skull And judging from your complexion I should say your systolic circulatory system is a one Romantic fool you I Wish I felt as well as your description though I've got a little headache from all the paperwork. I've been doing a headache Would you like me to massage your temples a bit? That's the quickest you've ever caught on Please do mr. Boynham. All right How does this feel just wonderful mr. Boynham? Nobody but ask any pigs Well, it's miss Enright miss Brooks has a little headache. I'm just massaging your temples. Oh how you mean of you There you go with your jokes miss Enright You're just loads of fun. Don't you think so much Brooks? She's the biggest load. I've ever seen Miss Brooks, I didn't expect to find you here. I just dropped in because I'm worn out from my morning classes Sometimes I just don't know where I get the fuel to keep running If you didn't race your engine so much your tank wouldn't get so low That's a good one too. You girls have a lot of fun with each other, don't you? Yes, we do enjoy our little fencing matches when we're not too tuck it out from our work that is Oh that English class of mine I must say I don't know what's come over you women of today You just don't seem to have the vitality and drive of our forebears Take my aunt Maddie for example. She taught English, but she also taught mathematics history science and latin Five subjects certainly and then she'd go home and keep house for her husband and nine children Nine children. What did she teach night school? You you can jest if you want to But if I found a woman like my aunt Maddie a a woman who held the secret to diversified interests I'd marry her tomorrow If you'll excuse me now, I've got a million papers to correct And I better be running along too. I've got to empty several waste baskets But ladies, I goodbye mr. Boynton. See you later nephew What is it you wanted to see me about miss brooks? It's my work here at school, mr. Conklin I was wondering if you could give me another subject or two to teach Miss brooks have you been sniffing too much eraser dust? No, sir It's just that I'd like to diversify my interests another class would be a labor of love. Pardon me, mr. Conklin Hello, mr. Enright Oh, miss brooks What happened to those millions of papers you had to mark? I threw them in those waste baskets you had to empty I'm rather busy this morning miss enright. What's on your mind? Well, mr. Conklin I've been thinking about my schedule here And I've come to the conclusion that I could take on another subject You too, but not two hours ago. You both complained about how rigorous your duties were that was b.a.m. Mr. Conklin before aunt Maddie I consider it strange sir, but on the contrary and it's an extremely fortuitous coincidence I was planning to institute a course in business administration at Madison My big problem, however has been instructors. There are none available in this area. There are now I mean there is now. I'll take a shot at it. Yes, sir. You bet your thing Not so fast darling, mr. Conklin if you're interested in a business administration course I'd like to point out that I've got a terrific background that you don't have to point out Maybe you ought to sell your bicycle Please miss brooks, please Tell me about your experience miss enright. Well before I came to Madison High as an english teacher I assisted papa in his business Papa was the head of a big collection agency at the time I assisted my papa too miss enright. What did he do? He spent most of his time hiding from your papa Please mr. Conklin, I'll admit I'm not overly familiar with the principles of business administration But I'll study it thoroughly in the next few days miss brooks business administration is a three-year course How do you propose to learn it in a few short days? I'll only take a half hour for lunch I'm afraid you have none of the qualifications for this position miss brooks Once again, it looks like miss enright has the inside track Well, all I can say is don't bet too much on her nose. It might still be a photo finish Sir teeth with cold gates cold gate dental cream it cleans your breath water toothpaste Water cleans your teeth cold gate toothpaste cleans your breath water toothpaste Water cleans your teeth Cold gate dental cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth and the cold gate way stops tooth decay best Yes, the cold gate way is the most thoroughly proved and accepted home method of oral hygiene known today Over two years research showed brushing teeth right after eating with cold gate dental cream Helps stop more decay for more people than ever before reported in dentiferous history The cold gate way stop tooth decay best no other dentiferous Ammoniated or not offer such conclusive proof And you should know that cold gates while not mentioned by name Was the only toothpaste used in the research on tooth decay recently reported in readers digest So always follow the cold gate way to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and stop tooth decay best Brush your teeth with cold gates Cold gate dental cream it cleans your breath water toothpaste Water cleans your teeth And the cold gate way stops tooth decay best Well, mr. Conklin seemed convinced that I didn't know a thing about business administration And it looked like he was right. I had just about given up on the biggest deal of my life 200 pounds of prime biology teacher When lunch period came I must have looked pretty down in the mouth as I entered the school cafeteria Get it up, miss Brooks. Your chin is sweeping the floor Oh, hello, walter I do feel a bit grim today Well, suppose you sit down over here and tell our favorite pupil all about it And that is unless you're waiting for mr. Boynton. No, he had to go down to the biology supply house They're having a sale on used guinea pigs or something Shouldn't make you this depressed gosh, you look like you're just about to ball What's the cause of it? Well, I spent about 10 minutes in mr. Conklin's office this morning. Say no more. Here's my hanky Mr. Conklin's the best cure I know for anybody who's got a slight case of cheerfulness Not so loud walter his daughter is about to join us. Hello, miss Brooks walter. Hello, harry it We were just chatting about your daddy. Yeah, why isn't the old Why isn't he in the cafeteria today? I brought a sandwich to his office He's calling the various oil companies to see if he can't beat the price raise It seems fuel oil for our furnace at home has gone up three cents a gallon Daddy has a big problem with oil every winter. We have a big problem with daddy every winter You probably don't know anything about this harry it But I've been hoping your father would appoint me as instructor in business administration He did mention something about the course miss Brooks, but he hasn't said who's going to teach it So you might as well keep hoping I'm going to get myself some dessert. Can I bring you something miss Brooks? No, thanks dear. I'm pretty full I've been biting my lips all morning Things could always be worse. See you later walter. Okay pigeon Now then miss Brooks give me your undivided attention You got it walter while you and harry it. We're yakking it up I was thinking if mr. Conklin could get the oil he wants for his furnace Not only three cents cheaper, but nine cents below the current price And if this transaction was put over by you He'd consider that you had a pretty good business head on your shoulders Well, I guess he would be instead of thinking what he thinks now That it's just a bunch of pretty auburn hair clinging to a vacant bulb Now just a minute walter Please I'm not finished It so happens that my dad has a good pal in the ajax oil company and we get all our fuel wholesale Now there's no reason why I can't get some for you to give to mr. Conklin Thus helping you wrap up the job you want Walder, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize here and now for everything I've ever thought about you This is a great idea. Thank you Oh, we'll get the oil to mr. Conklin's home right after school But there's one question I'd like to ask you miss Brooks Why are you so anxious to take on the added duties of another course? I can answer that in two simple words walder philip boynton I'm glad you got home from school early today daddy, but why did we come down here to the basement? I wanted to show you our new furnace harriott. It was installed just 10 minutes ago But what's this pink ribbon tied on it for and what's this card on top of it? It's a little surprise for your mother read the card harriott Let's see it says to my loving wife martha happy lincoln's birthday darling from your oz good You bought mother a furnace for lincoln's birthday. Nothing's too good for your mother harriott Besides it's my way of making up for christmas I got the feeling that your mother was not too delighted with the gift she received from me at that time I can't understand it. It was a lovely case of club soda Mother was expecting a fur coat this winter then she should be doubly pleased a furnace is even warmer than a fur coat Especially this brand new forced air furnace It uses gas and a blower system and all it requires is for me to flip open a vent and presto Any room i'm in is full of hot air No comment daddy I hate with that oil drum walter I don't want mr. Conklin to know we're in his basement Well, I still don't see why we didn't just roll the drum up to his front door because I want to surprise him We'll pour the oil right into the furnace Then when he can't understand how he's getting heat without having bought any oil I'll flash this bill from the age acts company showing that i've beaten the current price by nine cents I get it and then when mr. Conklin reacts according to plan He'll put you in charge of the business administration course Mr. Boynton will admire your energy and diversify talents and before you know it You'll be married and have nine children like his aunt and maddie Walder have you been drinking this oil? Miss enright you're coming to my home on your own time to discuss our new business Administration course has made quite an impression on me. Thank you, mr. Conklin But I've always been a firm believer in the old adage Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today My sentiment's exactly now if you'll just give me your coat We'll sit down in the living room and chat for a while. Oh, I think I'll keep my coat honest to conklin I feel a bit chilly as you wish Mrs. Conklin is out shopping at the moment But when she comes back she'll fix a bit of tea for us I can't wait to see her face when she discovers her gift Oh, what did you buy for mrs. Conklin in honor of Lincoln's birthday? I bought her a brand new furnace I haven't used it as yet, but I think I'll turn it on right now. Oh, oh, excuse me miss enright. I'll see who's at the door Oh, oh, it's you miss broke. Yes, sir. I came by to discuss that new teaching job But I've just about decided on miss enright for that position miss broke Please sir. What I have to tell you may change that decision I'll just take a few moments of your time. Very well then come in Now, please be brief miss brokes miss enright and I have many matters to discuss. Yes, sir. Oh, hello miss enright Hello, miss brooks. Did you come by to show me what a good loser you are? I'll deal with you when you slither into school tomorrow Right now I've got some business with mr. Conklin You see sir, I've always been a firm believer in the old adage Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today A salty cliche if I ever heard one Please come to the point. Yes, sir Mr. Conklin, what would you say if I told you that I was going to put eight dollars and 95 cents into your pocket this minute I'd say sit down miss brokes Mr. Conklin, I'm going to put eight dollars and 95 cents into your pocket this minute sit down miss brokes. Thank you Now in this transaction, pardon me, but isn't it awfully chilly in here for once? We're on the same side It might be a very jolly thought to turn on your furnace mr. Conklin and burn some nice cheap oil I don't have any oil in my furnace. However, if you ladies are cold, I should be happy excuse me daddy But I've got to talk to miss brooks privately right away. Will you kindly step out into the hall with me miss brooks? Harriet, you know my house rules about disturbing adult conversations It's terribly personal daddy, and it'll just take a second sounds important Harriet I'll be right back. Mr. Conklin. Meanwhile, I'm sure miss n right can regale you with some brilliant yakety yak It's happened miss brooks daddy's done the worst possible thing that could happen He signed on for another year at Madison high No, he bought mother a furnace for a lincoln's birthday gift. He must have gotten his rebate on the club soda bottles You don't understand. I just saw walter dentin in the basement He was washing his hands in the sink down there sounds like a reasonable place He told me you put oil in the furnace. That's right to surprise your father You'll surprise him. All right. He bought a gas operated forced air furnace What oh, this is terrible. We've got to work fast Harriet You run down to the basement and tell walter to get some tubing and siphon that oil out of the furnace at once Okay, miss brooks and you go on in and keep daddy's mind occupied So he doesn't turn it on until I come back with the all clear. All right Harriet now for heaven's sakes hurry I'm dashing this minute. Good luck miss brooks. I'll need it Well, miss brooks has my daughter concluded her personal business with you. Yes, sir. It was nothing really Now then about this business transaction of yours boy, it's sure hot in here Hot i'm terribly warm Do your lips always turn blue when you're warm? I'm still shivering mr. Conklin. Well, I've got high blood pressure So I'm usually warmer than the average person, but I'll turn the heat up if you want me to miss n right. No I mean why turn on the heat too much heat isn't isn't Healthy Bless you darling. I must have sat in the hot draft Now about the eight dollars and ninety five cents. I saved you mr. Conklin. Oh, excuse me one moment I'm going to see if my new thermostat is accurate. I want everything to be just right when mrs. Conklin comes home First I'll open the large vent in this wall Now we'll just set this thermostat for 76 degrees that should get the furnace going rather quickly Oh, it can't warm up quickly enough for me. It can for me Excuse me mr. Conklin. Where are you going miss brooks into the coat closet? I have a role of film that needs developing Oh Stop that idiotic jabber and let's get down to cases now Perhaps we should set the thermostat up to 80 or so then the furnace will really get going here. I'll do it But miss n right. It's all right. It's all right miss brooks. I want to see how the new furnace reacts here I'll turn it up to 85 degrees Ah, yeah, now now it's starting listen to the lovely sound of that nice hot air curing up Oh My suit Happened to my brand new furnace. This entire room is full of oil. What do we do? Well, we could toss a giant salad Practical suggestion is to clean that up. Something must have gone wrong when I Holy cow. What are you people doing in here rehearsing for a minstrel show? You guessed it walter and I don't know about anybody else But if the interlocutor will excuse me I for one am going to pick up my tambourine and beat it Just a moment, but first Men does your face do a slow burn every time you shave Then it's time you heard the good news about smoother more comfortable shaves the pomale of shaving greenway That's right smoother more comfortable shaves and man only pomale of no other shaving cream offers you real proof Not just promises of smoother more comfortable shaves for the new pomale of shaving creamway Gets beards really soft and it provides a protective film that actually floats your razor's cutting edge Yes, even in cold or hard water you get a clean close shave every time Super smooth super comfortable over 2500 men tested pomale of shaving creams thoroughly They followed the simple directions on the tube and no matter how they shaved before Three out of four reported beards easier to cut less razor pull More comfortable actually smoother shaves get pomale of shaving cream lather or brushless See if you don't get that super smooth Super comfortable free and easy shave you've always wanted You owe it to your face to try pomale of lather or brushless Remember only pomale of no other shaving cream offers you proof of smoother more comfortable shaves Now once again here is our miss brooks Well, walter dentin was just about to spill the beans to mr. Conklin about my part in the great oil scandal when luckily I managed to catch his eye And through some magical current that seemed to flow between us his lips were suddenly sealed Then I took my knuckles out of his mouth and we cleaned up After that walter took me home and when we got to the door he said gosh miss brooks Do you think you may still get a crack at that business administration course? I don't know about the business business administration walter But if he finds out about today, it's a cinch. We'll both get the business This is burn stuff reminding you to tune in next week to another our miss brooks show Brought to you by pomale shave cream for a smoother more comfortable way to shave And cold gate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay our miss brooks Starring eve arden is produced by larry burns written by al lewis with the music of wilbur hatch Ladies now with new improved vell v e l you can save 90 percent of dishwashing work Just soak dishes in vell suds a while dishes and glassware will soak sparkling clean No washing no wiping no scouring with vell only the stickiest dishes need just a touch of a cloth Rinse and they'll gleam without wiping soak pots and pans in vell suds too And most of them will get shiny clean without scouring. What's more vell is extra mild to hands So get new vell save 90 percent of dishwashing work Be sure to listen to mr and mrs north every tuesday night on this same station and be with us again next week at the same time For another comedy episode of our miss brooks bob laman speaking. This program was transcribed Stay tuned now for jack benning This is cbs the columbia broadcasting system