 So, how do you get a guide to think about you all the time? Have you ever got a text message that says, thinking of you? Well, I want to share with you in a moment a great three words that you can say, basically three simple words to get a guide to think about you all the time. Now, before we dive into this, I want to just address some of the important aspects of the early stages of the dating process to really get a relationship off the ground. I think the first and most important piece is that you feel a strong connection for the other person. You feel a strong connection for them. And ideally, it should have this sense that you've known this person longer than the amount of minutes that you've known this person. In other words, there's a feeling, a knowing of this person, not from a lustful place and not from a infatuation place, but in a way that you just feel comfortable. You feel easy with this person and it's not all predicated on the words you say to one another and like, oh my God, you're so beautiful or oh my gosh, you're so handsome. Oh my gosh, we have so much in common, all these things, but just an easy, simple feeling of being comfortable with a person. This is more of a vibrational type of connection. This is more of an energetic type of connection when you feel at ease with another person. And certainly when you're feeling that sense of ease, then it creates a stronger bond between two people, creates a stronger bond, which is pretty obvious. You know, when couples, when individuals go out on a first date and there's a little bit of vibrational tension, there's a little bit, not when I mean tension, I mean kind of friction, I should say. And I'm sure you've experienced this. I know I've experienced that on a first date where there is friction. Usually that means that there's a vibrational difference between the two of you. Now that doesn't necessarily mean that you're misaligned with one another, but I have noticed that couples that seem to go the distance in the early stages, they felt a certain vibration towards one another, that there was a synchronicity, there was a harmony. It was almost the tuning fork was tuned to their string on the guitar or the, or the bass or the instrument, if you will. Has anyone experienced that? I'd like to hear about it. Post a comment, give me a thumbs up if you've experienced that. Now, another important piece in the early stage of dating is two people being very intentional about the process. This is why I'm such a big proponent of radical honesty. In other words, being very clear as to your intentions. See, dating today is a very casual environment and mostly people are choosing casual relationships because they don't want to commit to another person. They don't want to commit emotionally to another person. They don't want to physically commit to another person. And because of that, there's this significant amount of ambiguity, especially how you feel about another person because, and I think it's rightfully so. People are fearful of getting too close too fast, especially if it isn't going to work out. It's kind of understandable. And yet at the same time, when things go too slow, when there's a lack of intention, it creates uncertainty, it creates a lack of trust, it creates a lack of safety. This is kind of the dilemma we're faced with because if you go too fast, you might commit to a person that may not be right for you. And when there's ambiguity, there's uncertainty, it doesn't build trust with another person and you don't feel safe. There's no right or wrong formula how you connect with another human being. What's most important, I believe, is that you genuinely be your authentic self and more importantly, you are intentional. That means asking those deeper questions early on to see if you're on the same page because when you're on the same page with someone, you're vibrating together. When you're not on the same page and there's uncertainty, you're in a state of confusion and your actions might demonstrate a sense of confusion and that creates mistrust. And what's most important for a relation is reaching that level of trust. Reaching that level of trust isn't just about fidelity. Trust is, does this person genuinely have my best interest at heart? Why don't you really sit with that for a moment? Does this person have my best interest or are they only out for their own interest? This is why I'm such a big proponent of taking your time before you're physically intimate with someone because men have a propensity, not all men, but we have a propensity to lead with our penises. We lead with our dicks. We think with the little head. We don't think with the big head. Have you ever experienced a guy that thought with his little head? If you did, raise your hand and said, yes, I've experienced that. This is why taking a little more time before being physically intimate to see if you're aligned with one another makes more sense. I think it's also important to choose partners who are introspective. They do some sort of personal development work. They know themselves. Who they are, what are they about? Have they looked at their past relationships and really evaluated why they chose the people that they chose in their life and what did they learn from each experience? Maybe how did they heal from each experience? What was good about each experience? What are they most grateful for? People that don't reflect on their past relationships, if they avoid talking about their past relationships, if they don't reflect on how they grew from these relationships, oftentimes, what's the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? So when you've come to this place for yourself, for your intentional, your introspective, your operating not purely based on lust and limerence, I think there's a critical phase that helps men and women genuinely think about the other person on a regular basis. And I experienced this once and it really sat with me. When a person said to me, I like you, Jonathan, I like you. Once you think about those words, I like you. You know, when my son passed away and I was giving his eulogy, and as any father, I'm sure you can appreciate how difficult it is to get up in front of people and share how you feel about your child, especially since they passed and most everybody has love for their children. They genuinely love their children. You know, when I look at my two boys and there's a picture of them right there. And I said to everyone, I didn't just love my boys. I liked my boys and particularly I liked Connor. I liked who he was as a person. Like, I want you to think about when you say to someone, I like you. I like you. That's what you say to a friend. I want you to think of the friends in your life. Why do you care about them is because you like them as human beings, how they think, how they operate. And so when you tell a man you like him, if he's an emotionally healthy man, and this is the key piece, he's going to appreciate that to hear that someone likes you. Do you remember when you were in grade school and you knew somebody liked you, that girl in school liked you or that boy in school liked you? Remember how you felt when you heard someone liked you? Do you remember that feeling? You can't stop thinking about someone who says that they like you, that you know that they like you. And so a man has a hard time not thinking about you when you say the words, I like you to him. I like you. I like who you are. Now that doesn't necessarily put you in the friend zone, although it could put you in the friend zone, coming back to emotionally healthy men versus emotionally dysfunctional men. See a man who's got weak emotional maturity, weak relationship skills, weak emotional IQ, they are suffering from childhood wounds or adult traumas that have gone unhealed. These are men and women who aren't capable of falling into a deeper capacity of love, most likely. See, I want you to think about it. Most people can't go all in into a relationship because they are suffering in some way, shape or form of, I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable. I'm not likable. And yet sadly, we hear particularly in the United States, and I am so guilty of what I'm about to share is I've operated for such a long period of my life that I needed someone to like me and love me so I could feel good about myself. And for the last half decade, particularly, I've done a deep dive into what it means to love yourself. I even wrote a book about it. What the heck a self-love anyway? A journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. There's a link below to get a copy of my book. What I'm talking about this is that, see, if someone is too wounded, they won't be able to receive those words. I like you. They won't be able to receive your love. Have you experienced that? Have you been in relationship with a man that was so wounded, he couldn't receive your love and you just kept thinking, if I give him more love and if I just give him more love and if I give him more love, he will finally love me. See, that's not how it works. Our capacity love is predicated by our ability to receive love. To receive those words, I like you. To take that in and feel good. And yet, sadly, most humans are suffering. This is why I keep recommending this book. I recommend the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process. I'm going to read you that it says, the world famous technique that empowers you to forgive your past, heal your present and transform your future. Again, link below to get a copy of the books I recommend. Folks, there is the unhealthy way to get people to like you. It's all the game playing techniques like the book, the rules taught you, play games, play hard to get. All that does is temporarily trigger some wound within this person that they might chase you temporarily. But if they haven't addressed their deeper issues, how are they ever going to be able to lean into a healthy happy relationship with you? And so it occurs to me that the challenge with relationships today, I've said this before and I'll say it again, it's a very long, the dating process is a long drawn out version of friends with benefits. It's a casual environment. See, because it seems to me, particularly those divorce men, is that they are very reluctant to go all in with someone, to go all in. That's what it's all about is I'm all in. Warts and all, I'm all in. How much time does it take to really fall in love with someone, to fall in love, not to love, to fall in love? I would say six months to a year at the longest. If two people aren't deeply in love by the end of a year, then the relationship probably isn't going to work out if they spend a significant amount of time together. Now, some relationships have an arc where they take off fast and they crash and burn. Some take off quickly and they kind of hit a plateau. Sometimes they take off quickly. They hit a plateau and they start to move the other direction. It takes about a year to figure this all out. Six months give or take to a year. I share the story about my son. He dated a woman. This was a year and a half ago for about five months. And he said to me, Dad, he said in the three month mark, he goes, I don't know if I'm really feeling it for this person. I don't know if I'm feeling it for this person. This is the three month mark. And I said to him, give it a little more time. And then the fifth month hit. And he just wasn't feeling whatever feeling he needed to feel to start to progress this relationship forward. And he ended the relationship because he wasn't falling in love with her. He wasn't experiencing that intangible. In love is such an intangible. He cared for this person deeply. He liked this person deeply. He liked her and cared for her. But there is this intangible piece. And it's not, sometimes we call it chemistry, but I think in love is such an intangible piece. And he had to end the relationship. And she was devastated by it. She thought there was a progression. But he was wrestling with his own feelings. Now in all fairness to Colin, you know, he suffered a huge loss when he lost his brother. He might be going through his own evolutions emotionally. That might mean he's not ready for a variety of different reasons. But this is the tricky part of this dynamic we call dating, mating or relating is love is such an intangible. See, we can lust for people. We can have limerence for people. And that's all based on our testosterone and our pheromones and the estrogen and dopamine and serotonin, all these chemicals you've heard of oxytocin. And then there's another factor that's rarely ever talked about. I talk about it frequently is love attachment style. In fact, I'm bringing on an expert very soon to talk about love attachment style. Stan Tatkin wrote the book Wired for Love. See, we oftentimes confuse our unhealthy choices in life, the amago, the love attachment, and we believe that's love. See, I think when a person who's done the inner work, the introspective work that's cleared their past or at least is clearing their past, they're in a capacity to dive into the deeper meaning of what does it mean to love another human being all in? What does it mean to love another human being all in and taking two people that love each other all in? See, to me, all in isn't about the good stuff, the looks, the dancing, the parties, the drinking, all that stuff. Real love resides in, will you hold my hand while I'm going through chemotherapy? Will you wipe the vomit from my face because I'm going through chemotherapy? Will you be there for me when it's not beautiful and pretty? See, to that, to me, those are what those, you know, the movies when you see two old couples holding hands together on a park bench, when you think of the, you know, the movie, the notebook where he's, oh, makes me cry. You know, he's reading the story of their relationship to a woman who's in Alzheimer's who can't remember. Oh my God, this really is affecting me. You know, that movie hit me because he was demonstrating love to someone who couldn't remember him. See, that's what this is all about. And so I ask, how do we get there? How do we get to that place in a sea of dysfunctionality, in a sea of overvaluing physical chemistry and attraction and not valuing the importance of true compatibility and that shared values, blendable lifestyles, and most importantly, that emotional maturity? So one start, do you like this person? Do you like this person? Like is the beginning stages when you actually like this person for who they are? The problem is we can also dislike aspects of a person. They can do things that annoy us. Does anyone remember the TV show Friends? Monica was rather annoying with her OCD. You know, each character had an annoying trait, but you found to like them in spite of their own foibles. You found that you like this person, even if their peculiarities or their picadillos, as Robin Williams said in the movie Good Will Hunting, the picadillos, those prickly parts of the person. See, when you can really actually accept another human being in that capacity, that Harry Metzali capacity, even her neurosis was adorable in a way, that's when we've reached a state of, maybe that's what true love is all about. So how do we get there? That starts by liking the person. Do you like this person? And I invite you to say the words, I like you. And see how a man responds. If you're in a relationship with a man, tell him you like him. See how he feels. Does he light up when you say those words? I'd like to hear. Will you do that for me? Will you say, yes, I will say this to the next man that I like? Say it to any man. Say it to me. I'd like you, Jonathan. And I'm not pitching for attention. I'm just saying it for the context of this show. All right. I hope that helps you get a guy to think about you all the time when you say, I like you. All right. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Post a comment below. I read, I do my best to read them all. As always, if you like this video, please hit the like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. Hit that notification bell. So you could be notified of new videos. And just think about the word like, even on Facebook, there's a like button. I like you. All right. I think this will be a great place to start our Q&A. If you have a question, write the word question, then post the question thereafter. Or you can purchase the super sticker, super chat. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box. All the monies from the super sticker, super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's him in the woody outfit right there. It's my son who passed away over five years ago. And his honor, we donate to causes like the Hoffman process, inside Institute and seeds of love. So if you got a question, write the word question or purchase a super sticker, we're going to try to get 50, $50 tonight. $50 is our goal to donate. So I'd like you to hit that button to get us started. All right. We got our first question. Oh, by the way, and if you want to join the hot seat, there's a link to join the hot seat as well. FD writes question. I'm 32 dating a 55 year old man for about four months. Now we get along well and are happy, but should I consider the age gap as a red flag? I just spilled over myself. Well, are you really asking is the age difference a deal breaker? Because, okay, let's think about what red flags mean. Okay. Red flags mean ask questions. So there's an age difference. So one, do you want children? Does he not? Does he want children? If that's a question because of that age difference, that would be something I'd ask. Is he divorced? Does he have children? What's his plans for his children? Are they going off to college? What's the dynamics in that? You know, like, I would look at his life and get an assessment of his life and look at your life and get an assessment and see how you can blend the two together. Those are some of the questions you might want to ask. Now, could you just keep in mind when he is 70, you'll be 50, you'll be great. In 15 years, you'll be 40, you'll be 47. When he's 80, you'll be 57. You might have to go into a caretaker role, possibly at that point, but if you genuinely love someone, you're going to want to do that anyway. But these are just a few of the questions you might want to consider for yourself. Is assess his lifestyle, assess your lifestyle, and see if they're compatible with one another. Okay, FJ, hope that helps. All right. Looks like a lot of you say, I like you, Jonathan. I appreciate that. Oh, Mel says, wow, Jonathan. Thank you. Spot on. I appreciate that. All right. Jane says, what body language he gives you knows he wants a connection? You know, I'm not a body language expert, but I certainly do believe when people genuinely look in your eyes, when they genuinely touch you, when they are affectionate, that's certainly body language you might want to pay attention. When they're leaning in versus leaning back. Oh, I got a stain from, leaning back. I haven't done the whole lean back in your feminine energy. Leaning in is a good sign that he likes you. Okay. Versus leaning back. Okay. Let's see. Okay. Here we go. Gigi says, I said to him, I genuinely like you. He lit up like a Christmas tree, but he said nothing. What does that mean? See, coming back to the capacity to receive. Do you know most humans have a hard time receiving love? Men in particular have a hard time receiving love. You know, it takes, it takes work to say thank you. It's a work to say, God, I appreciate you. It takes work. That work is that presence, that consciousness, that overcoming the fear that causes us difficulty in receiving. Ladies, many of you have a hard time receiving love too. You're always thirsting for it, but you have just as much a hard time receiving love. So while he lit up like a Christmas tree, it was hard for him to do that. You might want to talk to him about it. I noticed you got excited when I said I like you. But then nothing happened after that. Are you open to sharing with me what came up for you? Are you open to sharing with me what came up for you? Are you open to sharing with me what came up for you? Have conversations. Folks, you guys are having such mediocre, trivial conversations. How's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. I've been thinking of you all day. Oh my God, you're so beautiful. Oh my God, you're so handsome. Oh my God, this, oh my God, that. What came up for you when I shared that? It might be a good question to ask. Anyways, that's an invitation. All right. If you have a question, write the word question. Someone else says, would trust hearing what to do is very good coming from a male though. I respect your honesty. And matter of fact approach. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. All right, Lee says, how do you help a man get in touch with his feelings? Ask him. By the way, you may want to have, by the way, here, let's do a little thing. Hey, Google, give me a list of feelings. Hey, Google, give me a list of feelings. There are some results from a search. Anger, sadness, fear, happiness, disgust, anxiety, loneliness, loneliness, embarrassment, annoyance, boredom, frustration, love, surprise, shame, guilt, affection, jealousy, compassion, compassion, depression, excited, satisfied, disappointed, hurt, pride. See, first you have to know what feelings are. I invite you all to check out the book. By Carla McLaren. McLaren. The language of emotions, what your feelings are telling, trying to tell you. Maybe you might want to get in touch with your own feelings, get real clear about your feelings. You know, women, I've oftentimes heard you emote, but you're not necessarily sharing exactly the particular feeling you might be feeling. I'm feeling sadness. I'm feeling anxiety. I'm feeling fear. I'm feeling loneliness. When you get a guy to open up, you need to be clear as having deeper conversations. What does that look like? What feeling comes up for you when you think of our relationship? What feeling comes up for you when you think of our relationship? Can someone write this in the box? What feeling comes up for you or what feelings come up for you when you think of our relationship? Now he might say, I like you in the snap, but feelings are happiness, disgust, annoyance, anxiety. Those are actually feeling words. Those are feeling words. So I invite you to look at those. All right. What else do we have here? Do we have any questions? Someone else says that's a good question from one of our commenters. How do we help men get in touch with their feelings? Especially if they have masculine view or if they are very masculine and view it as too feminine. You know, my opinion, masculine is simply doing. Feminine is receiving. If they're always in the doing, they're not appreciating what the relationship is all about. Relationships are all about our emotions. Even sex is about emotions. Anyway, just my thoughts. Do adults have separation anxiety and if what to do and if what to do? You know, I'm not familiar with separation anxiety, but what I will say is humans have experienced abandonment in their childhood in some way, shape, or form. I know it could be as simple as your mother walked in the grocery store and you walked down one aisle and you might felt abandoned in that moment. So we all might have some level of abandonment in our previous, in our younger experiences that could create anxiety. It just manifests in a lot of different ways as we are adults. One of it is separation anxiety. I've noticed that it's in a form of separation anxiety. The need for constant validation, the need for constant communication in our current dating marketplace. There's almost this incessant need as I need you to be communicating all the time so I can trust you. That to me is a form of separation anxiety. I don't know if it is from a clinical perspective, but we certainly have such because very few relationship build the deep roots of trust. I talk about this in my private coaching. By the way, if you need some support check out the link below to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. One of the things we talk about is building the deep roots of trust early on in a relationship. The five key areas to build trust. That's something I work with with my clients so they don't feel this separation anxiety because the anxiety is because trust isn't there most likely. So those are just my rough thoughts on that one. Johica says you could ask how do you feel about me? Here's the reason why I like what feelings come up for you when you think of me is different because you're asking how do you feel about me while I like you and you're nice and all this stuff, but actually invoking what feeling comes up I think has a stronger tone to it. So what feelings come up for you? Sharon wants to jokingly tell me Google doesn't have any feelings. Hey Google, do you have a boyfriend? I never have to share dessert. Did you hear that? That's what I asked Google if she had a boyfriend. Okay. Really don't talk to a gadget. Okay. Let's keep going here. Who has a question for me? Write the word question. Hey, purchase a super sticker super chat. I'd really appreciate that. I'm not a fan of this phrase, but real men don't have issues with allowing their emotions to show and confide in someone they trust on her respect. Listen, every man is real if they're breathing. Okay. They're not fake. Okay. Now, an emotionally healthy man doesn't have issues allowing their emotions to be shown. An emotionally healthy man, emotionally stifled man, emotionally constipated man and women might have difficulty. In my opinion, most men do have the capacity to share their feelings, so I'd rather not call them fake men, but emotionally grown-up men might be another way of looking at it as well. All right. Let's keep going here. Oh, here we go. Ynet has a question. I met a guy. We've been talking about, wait. I met a guy we've been talking about on Instagram, not on Instagram a lot. We can chat on Facebook. What's the difference and when is it okay to exchange numbers? You can exchange numbers after a couple exchanges. I mean, you can do whatever you want. I think some people favor Facebook over Instagram. Some people favor Instagram. Some people favor YouTube. Some people favor different sources. I have many male friends either. I have a friend of mine who has a profile on Facebook, no profile on Instagram and he's never on it. Each person is different than this guy. When you exchange numbers, when you feel like you want to connect, that's when you exchange numbers. All right. Jane Spitfire says, I think after a time a man will let you know if he thinks about you, call, text, make a date, surprise you with flowers. Well, time isn't necessarily a factor of it, but yes, if a man likes you, he'll make effort. If he's on the fence with you, maybe he might be using you for feminine energy. I'm a big proponent of grownups having grownup conversations. It's not about a guessing game. It's not about a guessing game. All right. If you have a question, write the word question and post the question thereafter, it's easier for me to find. No, I know that's the type of male whom I would be definitely admire and want to get to know the introspective guy whom I've done the inner work on himself. It's my type of guy. Hopefully you are reciprocal in that area because he's going to want a woman who's also introspective. All right. Let's see what other questions we have here. So, Julia says, Julia says question to add to my question. He had said he never communicates like we communicate. I felt honored. Okay, good. It's not a question, but I'm glad you feel honored. Ms. Lorenza Hernandez says, I will tell my person whom I love that I like him because he truly is an amazing human being and I like you, Jonathan. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. Hey, who wants to join me on the hot seat tonight? It would be fun if we got someone on the hot seat. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. So, I know many of you are confused at the ending of my relationship and some of the explanation I gave. I know it's very difficult to understand when we were so public with each other. And while it wasn't my choice to end the relationship by understand her need to work on herself, I think when a person is not capable of going deeper emotionally and they have the awareness that they have to do inner work to be able to reach that capacity and as she evaluated her life and her totality, I recognize that her choice was the right choice for me too. See, we weren't able to go further in this relationship and that's okay because we had a beautiful ride along the way. I'm very grateful for the experience. And as I said before, it takes about a year to fully immerse yourself with another person if you're spending regular time together to either reach that state of I'm all in or not. And to the extent that I reached all in and she didn't, that's okay. I'm sad but I'm also recognizing that it's really only all in for me when you're with someone else that wants to be all in. And it took me a lot of work. I took a lot of pain staking healing to get to a place where I could say I want to be all in with someone. And that and for there's a lot of women out there and men, men who have had childhood wounds and adult traumas that requires deeper healing to be able to lean into a fully committed relationship. And sometimes we go into relationship hoping that the relationship itself will be the healing tool. You know, sometimes we go in with the best of intentions. I know she went in with the best of intentions. She certainly made tremendous effort to make this work. But sometimes it doesn't work out. And that's okay too because the quality of a relationship isn't measured by the time it's measured by you know, have you done your best? Were you intentional? You know, I think she did her best. She was as intentional as she could be and yet something was missing for her and that's okay folks. And I'm going to show you how I'm going to navigate this journey going forward. I'm going to show you how I choose to operate going forward because I do believe that our dating practices are so fucking dysfunctional. I mean it is a cluster fuck out there. It is so dysfunctional and I want to navigate this completely different going forward. I'm going to be sharing my experiences with you. I'll be sharing how I'll be absolutely committed to following the work that I teach my clients and by the way if you need some help learning how to vet and how to pre-qualify a person check out the link below to schedule a discovery call with me. I think I'm going to be practicing radical discernment going forward but what that means is I'm going to be tapping that into my intuition is been speaking to me this whole time. I just don't listen. I'm guilty. I have a habit just like many of you turning red flags into green flags, okay? I'm just as guilty because I'm human. There's nothing easy about this stuff. And I'll be demonstrating it along the way. Is this helping? Please let me know. If it is, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to our channel and comment below. Odessa just gave us $1.99 super sticker. Thank you so much. We have $48 to go. CeCe just wants to tell us Marie is a wonderful person. I hope she's doing well. She's actually traveling on an airplane from Europe back to the United States as we speak. Or actually later today. All right. Rosa has a question. How can I flirt at the gym? A location I know that you're aligned with a person about at least our health and fitness. You walk up to the guy and say hi. That's one way of doing it. You walk up to the guy and say, can you help me spot while I'm with lifting weights? You walk up to a guy, do you know how to use this machine? Can you show me how to use this machine? Just say hi. If he is interested, that's it. Just say hi. That's it. Do you like, you know, why do you like this gym? What about this gym do you like? Ask questions. Ask them. Whatever you notice, ask. Will you try that Rosa? I'd like to hear what happens. I'm not the expert at picking up. I'm going to be candid with you. That's not my area of expertise. Is cold approaches. I'm terrible at it. I'm petrified of walking up to a woman. I'm terrified. I'm afraid of rejection. I'm afraid, unless there is an invitation, unless there is the dropping of the hanky, I can pick it up and hand it to her. I'm terrified. You know, if you're not familiar with human design, is someone Google human design or anyone Google it? I'm known as a projector. I need an invitation in. When someone says hi, it opens the door. I think projectors are only 6% of the population. I think it's a small percentage of the population. Start with hi and see how that works. MMB4. MMB4. Jonathan, what do you feel when a man or woman will not commit? Fear of letting their true self shine through. Pass trauma, never learn how to communicate. All of the above. I think the real fear around commit. For younger people, there probably is a childhood wound that occurred or they didn't have good modeling of a healthy relationship. By the way, considering a product of divorce, 50% of the kids in their school 50% of the kids at my son's school are part of divorced parents, so they didn't have really good role models. By the way, that's just a speculation on my part, but I guarantee it's up there to 40 to 50%. Okay. What else? Pass relationship traumas. Oh my God, that could create fear around commitment. Abandonment, being cheated on. Being abused, being used. The list goes on and on. By the way, communication skills. Most humans have weak relationship skills, so it's no wonder we are budding heads with each other. Those are just some of the common reasons of why people pull away. Another common reason why they don't commit is the ground underneath them because they're solid. Maybe their professional life is in disarray. Maybe they have a contentious relationship with their spouse or a past relationship. Maybe they have health issues. Maybe they got issues with a sibling or a family member. These are all some of the reasons why people are fearful of committing. Great question, MB4B4. I can't find it. Okay. Rosa brings up a good point. Guys, the gym has gotten weird. No one looks at each other. It's the strangest thing. Yeah, I think the Me Too movement is one particular thing. But I think COVID and there's a variety of reasons why people are colder to one another. You don't know if you're going to get into contention with another human being. So they go, they do their work and it's a good point too. Coastal diva says you'd be surprised how many people don't smile. That is so true. I walk the beach or I ride my bike on the beach most every day and I walk past women and I give a smile and I get nothing but resting bitch face. It saddens me. It saddens me the amount of fear that is embracing our planet. It's stifling love. So yeah. Anyway, thanks for sharing. Hey, Weijian is in the house. Our newly married client. How to handle if a husband is hitting on or flirting with another woman. Oh my god, Weijian, I hope that's not you. I went to a friend's party and met a married couple for the first time. And I was like, I'm not going to wink and ask for my number. Wait. Oh, this person's, oh, the husband gave me a, whoa, how to handle, I would simply say it's very inappropriate. How would you feel if I told your wife you asked for my number? Just ask him that. How would you feel if I told your wife that you did this? See how he responds. Tell your husband that this happened and let him do it. Anyway, how would your wife feel if she knew you asked for my number? He's going to backpedal anyway. He's going to back out of it. Oh, it's a misunderstanding. I just needed to get your number because I know you do real estate, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever bullshit reason it gives. But that's how I'd handle it. Okay. Let's keep going here. Hey, Margaret's in the house for a $4.49 super sticker. All right, we got $43 to go. Jane says, yes, dysfunctional dating, marriage, raising kids all here. Humans are complicated. That's exactly it. Jane says, where perfume at the gym? By the way, I'm allergic to perfume. Actually, perfume I'm allergic to. It actually messes up, I think the natural pheromones a woman has for me anyway. I'm very turned off by perfume. It actually, listen, when I get someone gets like, imagine a guy is just loaded with cologne. How kind of, I don't know, anytime a guy is wearing a ton of cologne, it grosses me out. I'm just grossed out by that. Does anyone else, are they grossed out by perfume or cologne? Let me know. I'm kind of curious. Car Bear says, can I ask a question? Absolutely. Write the word question and post the question thereafter. Okay. Jane says, if a lady smiled at you, what would you do? I would smile back. And if I was interested, I'd walk up and chat with her. I had to walk up and chat with her anyway. If someone smiled at me and just gave me a come here kind of look, I'd walk up and say hi. I think it takes a lot of courage for a woman to do that. Rosa says, we are all afraid of rejection and as a woman, I am delusion that a man will walk up to me and tell me he's interested. By the way, we men need invitation. We need the invitation. That helps. Coastal Divas says, Jonathan, I figured you could chit chat about anything on the spot. No, I'm actually believe it or not, I am not a good pickup artist whatsoever. I was at a party with a friend of mine who was a brilliant communicative person. I'm believe it or not, I'm kind of boring. All I think about is human mating. All I think about is human behavior. Well, I am fascinated with spiritual things like life after death. I'm very fascinated with what happens to us after we pass away. I'm fascinated with human behavior. I'm fascinated with aliens. I'm fascinated with psychedelics. But I am not. I'm not. I'm not a narrow guy. I do not know how to walk up and start a conversation. Ladies, I need a little bit of help in that regard. Anyways. Jane says tell him his zipper is down. That is funny. All right. Tasha just gave us a five dollar super sticker. We are $39 away. Give or take. Sisi wants to remind us your on flirting, yes, I did an interview with Kim Seltzer about two months ago. You may wanna check it out on my channel. All right, let's keep going here. I have a roller-tor, what are my chances? I have no idea what it, what's a roller-tor? And someone tell me what a roller-tor is, I have no idea. Oh, Jane says, is that like a wheelchair? Let's keep going. Mel has a question, what if he's a friend for 20 years, I like him? Should I tell him? What do you got to lose? I like you. Do you wanna go out on a date? Ha ha ha ha ha. If you asked me out on a date, I'd say yes. That's how you frame it. If you'd asked me out on a date, I'd say yes. All right, let's keep going here. Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Someone says too much perfume, I don't like. Yeah, I'm allergic to it. Regent wants the last note, thank you for sharing. I think his wife there would be unhappy, exactly. Well, not to wear too much perfume or cologne. I'm very sensitive. That's just one of my things, you know? All right, let's keep going. All right, Allie has a question. How to get a man to open up about not wanting sex? He does everything for me, goes quiet, quiet when I bring it up, long distance for three years. What three years, what are you guys doing? What is your relationship? Are you guys, you know, is it because he wants to wait for marriage to have sex? Is it a religious thing? I mean, three years long distance. Okay, here's the thing, Allie. How many times have you physically seen each other in three years? Will you guys, will you tell me that? How many times have you physically seen each other in three years? That I'd like to know. All right. Wait, Rosa says, Jonathan, you may benefit from being in a grief ministry at church to learn more about human behavior. Interesting. I think after losing my son, I've gone through all the grief I wanna spend time on. Julia says, question been in deep hours, conversation and video chats with man for three weeks. Daily communication, by the way, us today, I got nothing. What to do? I know he's crazy busy, but no return text messages. If it's been 24 hours, don't sweat it. If it's been seven days, that's something to worry about. But if it's 24 hours, just sounds like he's busy. Lisa says, Jonathan, do you mind sharing where you're able to do obtain psychedelic therapy? Okay, everyone. I want you to Google mind bloom, mind bloom. M-I-N-D-B-L-O-O-M, mind bloom.com. That's a good place to get started. Check that out. That's not what I use, but that's a good place to get started. And just type in psychedelic therapy. See what comes up in your area? Psychedelic therapy. Check it out, but check out mind bloom. Can someone write mind bloom.com? Just type in Google mind bloom, okay? That'd be a good place to start. All right. Hey, Maggie just gave us a $6, $5.99 super sticker. Okay, I think we're $32 away. $32 away. 32. Let's get there. All right. Let's keep going. We travel a lot and enjoy each other's companionship. Again, I want to know how often have you physically seen each other in these three years? Let's keep going here. S.Trimming says, if a guy doesn't want sex, he's probably impotent. Okay, that could very well could be a reason. He could be gay. Another reason could be he doesn't want physical intimacy with a woman. He's impotent. He might have ED. He might have trauma associated with physical intimacy. There's a variety of reasons, but I want to know how often have you seen each other? Oh, we see each other every month. Wow, if you guys aren't having sex, then there is something wrong. Then this is the time to have a real deep conversation. I notice our relationship isn't physical and I want to have a physically intimate relationship with a partner. Can you share with me what's coming up for you? Have the conversation. Can you share with me what's coming up for you? Stop bearing your head under the sand ladies and have the conversation. What's coming up for you? Anyway, that's my invitation for you. But you're gonna be afraid of disrupting what you have, but if you don't have a physically intimate relationship, you have basically a friend. And that's okay too. A lot of people can have friends. Oh, a desk that might, it brings out something I didn't think of. He might be married, yeah. Or as I said earlier, it might be religious. I told him and he goes quiet. Well, then stop seeing. Then you know what, say, if we're not gonna have, you know, people that go silent, that's a dick move. I'm sorry, that's just really, that's a cop out move to go silent. Either you talk to me, if you want a real significant relationship, then talk with me, that's childish games. I'm gonna go silent and I'm gonna go in my corner and I'm not gonna talk to you. That's childlike. Either you're a man and you wanna have a real man, either you are a man who wants a fully committed relationship that includes physical intimacy or if you don't. And if you're not gonna tell me, then I'm discontinuing this relationship until you have the fucking balls to speak up about this. Now, that might trigger shame because his reasons are probably centered around some level of shame, but you got three years in and you see him once a month. I mean, I guess that's only 36 times you've physically been with each other, but look at that's plenty enough time to know whether or not you're gonna explore a fully committed relationship or not. Ah, I get so amped up when I hear shit like that. Not you, Allie, I'm just talking men that pull that shit. And Ouija wants to remind us he might sounds like an avoidant. Yes, it does sound like an avoidant. Allie does wanna thank everyone for their support. Jane might suggest he's the 40 year old virgin. All right. All right, what other questions do you have of me? Odessa wants to tell you not to waste your time. And Alex Alejandra says maybe he just wants to be friends if you're seeing this person for three years. Yeah, look at it. Folks, I'm here to encourage either shit or get off the pot. If in one year you're not moving towards fully committed then move on. When a man likes a woman and he's feeling love toward the first three months is kind of in a first three to six months. He's kind of evaluating his feelings. But if he is genuinely feeling love then he's progressing the relationship forward. And that also means having the penis spend time in the vagina too. Okay. But it sounds like he's not progressing the relationship forward. You guys are just friends. And that's the way he's treating it. All right, Megan's in the house. You talk about integrating families and I agree that is super important. How do you introduce or integrate kids? I still have teenagers and young kids. First time I was in a relationship with a woman and it was our fourth or fifth month dating and we went bowling with my children. Now my children were a little bit younger at the time. I think they were eight and 11. But we went bowling. It was a great way to do something fun. You can go to miniature golf. You can go to a park. Actually, yeah, one time I met a woman at a park. But do something like that simple just to get the introduction going. It's informal. You're spending time playing. And that would be a great way to get it started. Rosa wants to let everyone know, hit that like button. Folks, could you hit that like button? Can you please share this video? Can you subscribe to my channel? All right, you know what? I think this would be a great place to wrap up today. Men have a hard time not thinking about you when you tell them this, I like you. Try it. See how that works. Does he light up like a Christmas tree? Or does he go cold? Might give you some insight into how he genuinely feels about you. And it puts an opportunity to have conversation when you tell a guy you like him because and then what you do is think about the reasons why you like him and then share that with them. It's a great way to get a guy thinking about you. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know if it is. Post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts. Please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell as well. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic John the Merrick of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone. Pat a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Lindsay and Fairport and Weijin and Jane and ZC and Coastal Diva and Allie and Susan ZP and Sherry and Wynn and I can't even say your name. James Spitfire, someone else. Rosa, Tasha, Kim, Margaret, Naderi, Megan. Everyone, big hugs. Have a great and fabulous evening. Did you find value in this? Please let me know. And if you like me, say that you like me. Oh, thank you so much. All right. Have a great evening behind the house.