 It's been a busy 7th birthday, what a thing. All things that you should go. Your cows talk about you until you come home. All fucking day, you know the school we're in. It's Sir Christopher Hatt and we are in Central London. We're here at the Sunburn pre-party, question and answer press conference. Never the fuck you want to call it. Shout out to everybody coming out. It's 11 p.m. We're about to get this battle done and get the fucking last train slash bus slash move on home. Now we fucking do it about the front line. One round battle, because you know what? I used to fucking hate one round battle. All right I'm starting to love them out here. Trust me. Shout out to all my brothers up in D.C., you're killing it on their one round tryouts. We're going to get into a one round battle with Two Fucking Promers and New Comers. MC on my right-hand side, we got jay red, make some noise. Let's go! Jay! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! J-Red! J-Red! And, that was his batter number four and five with J and batter number two, man on my left, we got A! Make some noise for everybody! J-Red! J-Red! J-Red! Let's go, baby. It's A-A! As we've said, we have one round. They've both got one round, three minutes on the clock. So the first round of two of the battles on my man, J-Red. Let's go, go to J-Red. When this battle got confirmed, I got an inbox from Earth. He said J-Red, you're battling, eh? I said, Er, why are you talking like that? You're not from Manchester, mate. He said, no, J-Red, fix up, you're battling A. I said, I'm battling a what? He said, you need a slap in the face. None of what I just said actually happened, but A. My real name is Jared, but my alter ego's J-Red. I just threw away the A like it was nothing because A's dead. I threw away the A like it was nothing because A's dead. Come to think about it, didn't I sell that name to you for eight pence? Woo! No, I did, no, it's all starting to make sense. But! You was on the road broke, walking round nameless. But back then you had hair like Frank Gallagher from Shameless. Then you shaved it off and you heard two pack changes. So Paul, you could probably get brainwashed in a basin. Hmm. See, as a kid, see, as a kid, he just went gym, trained hard and lost bare sleep. But he never quite measured up right for football. They never picked A because of his square feet. Hmm. That's why he come in a game like, yo, I'm A. I've got a bicep game, little savage fools. I'm fuck all these battling rules. I swear that I'm baggadol's getting put in headlock if my name don't get put in capitals. Oh, did I? First, when I found out A's game, I thought, hmm, should I bring my A game? Cos he's big-headed, so I knew that it'd be a game. But fuck his cap size, he'll get his bolt cap size on some battleship tip like I'm playing C games. Woo! I don't even have to part this fake. He lives half-hearted days. Every day you'll hear him whine, like, say, I put a glass shard in A. Woo! I'm definitely slept on. Let's go! And definitely you can't test me, Jerry Redd. Especially when your head looks like a freshly laid egg. He said everything. My boy said, how's he gonna be A-sit? I said, take away the E that makes sense to me. Basic. You're such a soppy cunt and you need to just fucking face it. Matter of fact, he's about to run home then with tablets when you heard me say basic. See? I'm not really feeling like this is my day. Cos it's Saturday today. If it was yesterday today, the motherfucker, I would have Friday. But let me cool it down for a sec. If it was yesterday today, the motherfucker, I would have Friday. But let me cool it down for a sec so I can make A-C and H-D, what J-C's on the daily. Basically just fuck bare slots, tarts and pay trees. I'm just trying to be the G-O-A-T. But first I've got to beat a few of these O-A-P's thinking they could beat me, chill. No, A-Please, I don't even have to body you. Don't make me. But as I'm a nice guy, I'll share a secret as to why your chick is so deadbeat. Cos she ain't talking about no rare steak when she's been telling you she loves Redd. Now, I know I'm using this alphabetical wordplay so repetitively. Don't take this as no cheap shot when I say the A, B, C and D regularly. Slept on. I got it, I got it. You got it. Come, let's go. And what, you think you're hensher than me? Cos my legs are skinny. Bro, I bench every week, mainly in parks when I'm tired, resting my knees. That's nice though, bro. I'm blessed when I sneeze. My destiny's sweet, but no rest for this beast if you test me it's peak. No, why? Cos I'll leave you resting in peace. Cos I'll do nothing as I just respectably creep past the tent where you sleep. Now, J-Redd is going to absolutely body-live winter at Sunburn too. But soon you're all going to see. But as for right now, I'm just happy to be clashing someone that's bolder than me. Yeah! That's right. This is the evening we hear someone man hate. Let's do this. Let's go, bro. We're trying to have a pat station. Let's go. The crowd weren't laughing with you. They were laughing at you. And that Snickers was the only solid bar you ever bought to a battle. Cos on a scale of 1 to 10 for performance and lyrics, if I had to score it for you, you'd be the same as an Austrian dude abroad in Peru. You'd be a foreigner too. Let's go. I mean, just look at him. There's absolutely no doubting I could grip him by his outfit and throw this fag back to Brokeback Mountain. This J is so frail and shamefully unaggressive. He wears shin pads to play table tennis. Anyway, I went online and did my research on it. I heard you think, where'd you learn to sing? What? And your link up TV was, shit! Fucking painful hearing you spit those bars. And this bit's harsh. But I completely agree with the top comment. This sucks. Facts. Chill, bro. Anyway, Jared, your dad's racist. And this is what he said to you when he first found out that you'd started rapping. Now son, now son, I'm not racist, I'm not that evil. But must you insist on listening to music by black people? Now look, I'd love a little dancey to Bob Marley. And I'd order from the Donald. I'm hardly a Nazi. But what's bad, I mean wrong, it's Celine Dion. Why the skeptic fella? Try some mountain jobs. You know something, you know something, Pele was never the best mate. I'll tell you it was awesome. Back then, Gordon Strachan. Look, all I'm saying, or rather all I'm thinking is this, prison statistics indicating shit. Now, I love a teacum salad but you know what I mean, I'll leave and order the spicy dessert with banana. But if I had a friend from Mumbai or Karachi, I'd keep a watchful eye on my Ferrari. Because somebody came to the door the other day and they knocked so I checked. It was an Indian man with one of those things on his head. I'm not impressed. Your mother and I worked extremely hard for the things we have in our house and there you go, inviting the Taliban round. And the just ones please. Because you wear a shirt without three stripes and the fucking sleeves and those grubby jeans. Your mother bought you those lovely tweed dungarees. Yo, yo, yo. But anyway, that's me beating this joke with jokes. The concepts beating fire with fire. But now here's where we separate a brilliant rhyme or against an idiot guy that will use chuckles to get views like tinchy strides. And for the win, well, two bad douchebag news flash. The new cats two-packed Wu-Tang in New Bank. Punches, what's a few slaps to Liu Kang? I'll move back, move back to spend six months kicking sense into you. Boot camp. Blue jabs, if you flew back I'd times two that and leave his body like the end of my land home kit. Blue black, the way you rap with boot crap. J-Jot is full blacked. How can you rap with all the insecurities of the anyway J-Jot with the full black. How the hell can you brag with all the attributes that you lack? You saw my last battle. Proof that I execute prats. And right now there's a bull droppin on the Minority Report Machine Tom Cruise hat. And that's you fat. Anyway. So this battle was like Yo, yo, yo. Shut up, man. So this battle will be like your parental situation. When you're talking to your brief and shit. What exactly do I mean by it? You can't see the kit. Let's go. I can teach you a thing or two. I'm sublime with a punchline. This crunch time on Columbine. You getting schooled while I'm killing you.