 What's going on you guys? It's your boy Lloyd here with the single-guy channel and today We're gonna be talking about that dreaded conversation that I'm sure all of you are scared of and that's when you're Alone with a girl. Maybe you're in bed. Maybe you're just chilling out relaxing Whatever it is she rolls over and she says so What are we and if you're like me when I was 23 you have a mini panic attack and Trying it think of a lie that she's gonna believe as fast as possible to keep her around where you don't have to have this Talk anymore. Okay, that's exactly what you should not do Okay, so in this video I'm gonna be talking about how you should answer this question and I'm gonna do it through telling you two stories One story where I handled this conversation very well and the other not so much Okay, and hopefully from hearing these two stories You guys are gonna get an understanding about how you can avoid this conversation all together because in reality Although talking communication is good. If she busts out this question You probably messed up somewhere along the line or somewhere before that led you to this point where now She's looking at you and expecting a for sure answer Okay, so let's get into the first story. So the first story that I'm gonna tell you is where I didn't handle this Well at all. I remember I was like I think I was 24 something like that 24 23 and And you know, I was living in San Francisco at the time and I was seeing this girl. It was going really well I was really attracted to her. I think I've been seeing her for maybe a month or two Probably two months and I remember we were in bed. We were in bed. We were talking. We had just had sex and I was relaxed I was at ease. I was having a good time And then she rolled over and busted out this question Now when I heard this question at first. I was like, oh shit. This is the this is the thing This is the thing. I thought this was gonna happen But I thought I could avoid it and I did all the wrong things when I answer this question I told her that hey, I really liked her That I was thinking about a relationship, but I just wasn't ready right now blah blah blah blah blah basically I Made it seem like I was going to possibly consider being in a relationship with her later Okay, and we were on on track to do that But I was just having some emotional issues that I had to get through as soon as we get through this emotion these emotional issues We'll be able to be together in reality. What was the truth? I didn't have any of those emotional issues Okay, I'm even if I did the answer was still going to be the same. I knew I didn't want to be with this girl I knew I didn't want to be with any girl in a committed relationship but when she looked at me, I knew that's kind of what she wanted and Sometimes when the girl asked this question, you know, there's a very small probability that She is just wants to make sure that we're seeing each other casually Probably not if she stares at you and you're worried about what you're gonna say next almost 99% of the time It's because she wants something more than what she's getting and you're not giving it to her So when you encounter this problem, a lot of times guys will tend to do what I did they lie They make it seem like in the future There's a possibility that you two can be together in some sort of committed Possibly monogamous probably monogamous relationship, which is what she's looking for And we do it for a lot of reasons The first reason that we do it and most of the people who are watching this video probably are in this boat It's not that the guy is a horrible person Although he's doing a bad thing and it's because we don't like at the time I just really didn't want to upset her like that was my main goal at the moment is like don't make her upset And because of that because of my fear of upsetting her I ended up doing a bad thing a thing that I probably wouldn't have done if I could go back in time and do it over again Okay, so for me in that moment I was mostly concerned about not upsetting her and the second thing too was I wanted to keep hooking up with her You know, it was nice to have tavern there. I liked her. I did enjoy spending time with her I did want to keep seeing her did I said I like her enough to be monogamous with her now I don't think I liked any girl enough at that point to be monogamous with them And so rather than me being truthful I said what I thought she wanted to hear so we could either postpone this conversation Or I wouldn't have to deal with it in the future But it would have been a lot better if I had handled it the way I handled this next situation actually There was a there was another time where I'll tell you two moments where I did it correctly Okay, there was one time where I was seeing a stripper And uh I think we had been hooking up for like three months and then I was like we should probably have the talk right now So I just kind of rolled over and I was like Hey, uh, I just wanted to talk to you for a second and she's like, okay cool And I was like, hey listen, um, I like where things are right now And I really like enjoying getting to know you and spending time with you But I'm just not really ready to get into like a committed relationship or anything like that And she looked at me and she goes, okay, cool. Yeah, I'm not very good about being monogamous either And I was like what she's like, yeah, I suck at being monogamous and I was like, I suck at being monogamous too We high fived had sex again dopest talk ever That's probably not going to happen to you guys, okay What in reality is probably going to happen is the way it went down in this other instance Um, where I've been seeing this girl of around two months two months at that point And we were just kind of walking and chilling with each other Uh, and then I actually brought up the conversation I said, uh, hey, listen, like how do you think things are going between the two of us? And she was like, um, I don't know. They're going okay. Yeah, I I'm I'm having fun I'm like, cool. Yeah, I'm having fun too. Uh, I just don't know if I'm ready to take that next step And then I started I started telling her and then she was like, oh, don't worry about it I'm not like she cut me off. She's like, don't worry about it. I'm not, you know, I'm not interested in that I'm not, uh, I don't see you in that way Uh, don't worry. I don't want you to be my boyfriend And I was like, whoo, thank god But it wasn't really a sigh of relief so much because I kind of knew she was going to say that Um, and the truth is that's kind of how the conversation should go down Like it shouldn't be a big shock for the girl to hear that you're not trying to be in a monogamous relationship Or you're not trying to be in a committed relationship Basically my actions were completely in line with what I was looking for This girl knew I wasn't looking for a girlfriend this girl and both as instances, you know, obviously, you know with the stripper It's a little different, but in both these instances neither of them expected me to be in a relationship Okay And because of that the talk was so much easier So if you're behaving before you have this talk in a manner that's trying to make the girl Believe that you're going to be with her that you like love her or something like that. God forbid Well, you've already messed up And so in these situations What you need to do is you need to realize pay attention to your actions with the messages that you're trying to send to her If you're sending your messages where it's like, okay, this is in boyfriend territory Like you're seeing her two or three times a week. Maybe more You're talking to her every single day. You're sending your hearts all the time. You're getting jealous Like all of these things that's for that's for committed relationship talk That's that's not for being in like a casual whatever that you're looking for right now Where you two are just you know seeing each other and having fun Or maybe just seeing each other and not being committed, but you still really really enjoy each other So the things that you have to make sure that you do when you have this talk is number one Make sure that she knows that you're listening to her Make sure she knows that her thoughts and her feelings matter if they don't If you just try and brush it off like ah, whatever. It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it Like that's just gonna cause problems in the long term like it might actually Stop the conversation in the moment But you know, that's when girls start getting really pissed at you and they start really not liking you and with this first girl That's exactly what happened like we don't talk anymore And I wish I could say she was a part of my life or a positive You know moment in my life, but unfortunately it didn't end very well with her So make sure that her thoughts and feelings and emotions are important to you And if they are sometimes you're gonna have to tell her an answer that she doesn't like She might be upset with the answer you give her you might tell her hey listen Look, I really enjoy hanging out with you. I really enjoy the time that we have I mean you're an amazing person But I'm not literally looking for a committed relationship right now. I like where things are at the moment And you're gonna see her face and you're gonna start to think But in the future I might could no no Dude, you got to let it hurt She's not it's gonna be uncomfortable You're not going to enjoy the first part of this conversation if you did the wrong things to get it there Okay, if you set expectations correctly, it shouldn't have been a problem But if you didn't and you have this talk It's important for you to put your foot down because it's only going to cause problems for you in the long run And look man, maybe she thought that something was going on And then once you tell her what your plans are and what your expectations are Maybe she'll be okay with it in the future like I've had talks where I didn't manage expectations correctly at the beginning And later on when I had the talk and I was honest with them You know they ended up still coming around and still wanting to hook up for a little bit after You know it wasn't the same But it shouldn't be because she was expecting something different before and now she's not expecting anything Which is where it should be, you know people Hopefully if you're hooking up with this girl you're seeing or you're having sex with her Like you actually like this person and care about them and want them to be happy and want the best thing for them And if you don't and if you don't then why are you hooking up with them? You know we'll hook up with somebody else Okay, so That's the important thing okay make sure their thoughts and feelings matter Make sure you tell her the truth And then make sure that if it's uncomfortable whatever it is you stick to your guns And you don't back down on what you just said to try and make yourself feel better She will be a little bit upset if it comes down to this and that's okay Not everyone's meant to like the answer that you give them But in the end she will respect you for it and in the end she's going to like you more for it Not more for it, but she'd like you more than if you lied And sometimes they'll come around sometimes girls will actually be okay with that and they'll be like yeah, let's go Let's do it But you'll usually kind of know her reaction before you you give the answer to this question based on the way you've been setting expectations Before so yeah, man if you care about this person and hopefully you care about the girls that you're seeing I would highly recommend that you handle this talk in the right way because take it from me If you piss people off you're gonna feel shitty about yourself And that's not a way that's not a life. You want a little worth that's not a life worth living So, um, anyway, thanks for watching you guys If you made you think consider subscribing come out with videos like this every single week If you're interested in my weekly one-on-one mentorship program where I teach guys exactly how to handle situations like this in the right way Please send me a fill out the form down below. There's a link to it. Click on it And if you're a great fit we'll get back to you. Thanks a lot you guys. Good luck out there