 Attention, attention! Today is Craig's birthday! And it's also cancer season, which means if you don't say happy birthday to me, I'm personally offended. Hello, Bidgets! I am so sorry for forgetting to say my name. My name is Fandango today. Today is the last day of Pride Month. And if you don't know, June 28th is my birthday. I'm officially a legal adult. Watch out, everyone! I can go to jail now. I can vote. I can... I can't drink still. But what I can do is bake myself a fucking cake because I've never gotten a rainbow cake before. I never really had a birthday party, never had the pinata, never had a big group of people. I got money and my present was my mom saying, You're welcome for being born. But now that I am a legal adult and I can drive, I decided to go to a grocery store and pick up some groceries. I went to Wegmans. This was $20 only, by the way. That's why we're making a $20 fucking cake. Alright, so let's just bring everything out. Okay, so this should become a cake. Welcome to episode 2 of Project Asian Kitchen. I'm gonna make a vegan rainbow cake because someone is a little lactose intolerant and he was vegan for two years, so we're gonna bring it back. The recipe is in the description below, by the way. Alright, we're making a five-layer nine-inch cake. Five and a half cups of all-purpose flour. Why would you tie it up? So let me just do five of these real quick. One, two, fuck. Not on my hoodie. Three, wait. I need some background music to this. Okay, Google. Play Truth Hearts. I think that was my fourth cup. Fuck. Let's hope it was the fourth cup. Five and a half. Where's my half cup? Five and a half cups of all-purpose flour. One tablespoon baking powder. Two teaspoons baking soda. Can someone tell me who invented teaspoon and tablespoon? Why can't it just be one baking soda? One teaspoon of salt. If you're extra salty, put another teaspoon in there. Four cups of dairy-free milk plus four teaspoons of vinegar. Set aside a bit. Vinegar. Alright, wait, what kind of vinegar? I have many kinds. I'm Asian. Alright, I think it's just white vinegar. We'll just go with that. So I have organic soy vanilla milk. I have no idea how this is gonna thicken, but we'll just go with it. I'll take this bowl right here. Four cups dairy-free milk. Four teaspoons vinegar. Oh. I was about to put four cups of vinegar and that would have been bad. Oh, yes. I love lactose. Okay, that's one empty box done. It went into fucking bin. Oh. This is two cups, by the way. One. What does that sound like to you? So this... Shut up! Apparently putting vinegar and non-dairy milk thickens it. This is a fake egg, by the way. They want a white vinegar. I got one right here. Four teaspoons. Okay, Google. How many teaspoons are in one tablespoon? One US tablespoon is equal to three US teaspoons. So I'm gonna put one tablespoon plus one teaspoon. Oh, it smells like vinegar. Alright, one more teaspoon. Oh, my eyes are burning. Alright, I'm gonna take my mixing tools. And this is supposed to thicken somehow. I don't believe it for a second. I'm sorry. Milk and vinegar should not thicken. There's no way. There's no way. Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a big bowl. In the other large bowl, mix the dairy-free milk, sugar, oil, and vanilla together. Let me just show you what I have so far. So this is all of my dry ingredients, minus the sugar. This is the milk that's supposed to thicken. So far, it's not that big of a mess. Now, how long do I have to wait for this to thicken? Because I'm very impatient. Does that look like it's thickened to you? A little? Right? Whatever. I'm just gonna find my sugar right now because we don't have sugar in this house. This is all the white sugar we have. Three cups. Alright. Let's go on a hunt. After a very Mandarin, heavy conversation with my mom, I found out she hides the sugar behind hot sauce. Let me just show you. Four hot sauce, and then the fucking sugar is behind it in another plastic bag. Why the fuck do we need plastic bags? You know why she does this? It's because she doesn't want to make a mess in her kitchen. When it's really my kitchen. Let's go. Yes. We'll come to that. Bye-bye. I love you. Oh, you're fucking sugar. This is still not a lot. I need to get three cups worth this. Have you thickened here? Oh my God, it's thick. That's kind of creepy. I don't like knowing that. Oh my God. Three cups, white sugar. Don't sniff it, children. One cup? Oh, it's like a little island. Let me show you. Look, it's like a little island that's slowly getting smaller and smaller because of rising waters, because of global warming. Guess what, children? It's real. I did not mean to get political in a baking video of all things, but I did. That's a little more than a cup. Three cups. Then we need one and a third cup of oil. Just watch. Just watch. Fuck this. Yes. Give me that fat. Oh, it's beautiful. Oh, look at all that cholesterol and heart disease. Okay, if you're a baker, you wouldn't be used to this, but I'm not. Let me just show you what this looks like right now. Oh my God, it's so beautiful. It's triggering my fucking track phobia. All right, I need a third cup. Is there a third cup on here? Is there really not? Fuck you. There's my third cup. Sorry, mom. I just got rid of all of your oil. It's gross. Oh, it's gross. It's getting hot in here. Why did I choose to wear a hoodie in the summertime? Okay, Google, what's the temperature outside today? It's like the high of 92 and a low of 68. And I'm wearing a hoodie. Fuck. Mix together the milk, sugar, oil, vanilla. Vanilla. Oh, this looks gross. Mixing tools activate. Wait, I got to record this because this looks disgusting actually. Wow. Mmm, so tasty. They're out of my finger. Oh, I'm just going to whisk this for a little bit until it's fully mixed. I'll be back. A few minutes later. No, actually, I think I have a whisk. I'm pretty sure I have an electric whisk back here. Oh, you got to be fucking kidding me. So you first insert. Plug it in. Don't worry. I'm a professional. Is that the lowest setting? Here we go. Oh, I'm not breaking it. That's mixed enough. I'm just going to... I'm pretty sure all of the sugar is mixed in now. Add about half the wet into the dry ingredients and beat. You want to get rid of the lumps or they're standing against a colored cake. Yeah. So what I'm first going to do is mix this together because I forgot to do that. Mix the dry ingredients. It's getting on my hoodie. Okay, I'm going to record this and mix it in at the same time. First, we're going to put half of this in. That's about half. It looks terrible. Oh, I just want to slowly mix this in. Oh, I got a beat. All right, we're beating. No, it's getting everywhere. I now realized why I don't bake anymore. This is fucking tiring. So I think we just need to add in the rest. Look at us do the rest. Fuck it. This is the biggest bowl I have and it's barely fitting everything. I'm like making stew over here. I also have to get rid of all the chunks eventually, but let me just show you how fucking chunky this is. Ew, uh. Looks like I'll be here for a while. I'm scared to take out the electric whisk just because I know it's going to go flying everywhere. We're going to have to use the mighty power of chopsticks to do this, guys. I don't even have a regular whisk. Wait, I technically do. Yes, this will work. It's not working. Ew. It looks gross and it probably tastes gross right now. Actually, it just tastes like cookie dough. That's not that bad. And you can eat this because there's no eggs in it. Oh, my God, my arm. You know what? I got to bring it out. We're doing this again. Fucking doing this again. Where'd it go? Did it get stuck in there? Oh, shit. Am I going to have to pick this out? Oh. No. Okay. I'll wash this off. It's disgusting. Not going to lie. That was a little traumatizing. But we're here for round two. Round two, bitches. Yeah. Yeah, don't lift up the whisk while it's still working. All right. A jack button. It's better be worth it. I'm ruining my hoodie for this. I'm going to take my spatula and we're going to fold. I'm going to get every edge and make sure it's all incorporated. Okay, it is ever so slightly chunky. But you know what? That's fine because I like them chunky. Okay. So I have now folded gently using a scale. Divide the batter into... Okay, I don't have a fucking scale. I have my eyes and that's enough. Oh, I have to add food coloring. Bitch, how the fuck? Okay, I have to not only separate this into five different bowls, but I have to put them into here after. I'm going to separate this all into here. Um, let's do it by ladle. Actually, that'll take a long time. Honestly, there's only one way to do it. I'm just going to have to ladle it. I'm going to put one ladle worth in every single one. Holy shit, this is kind of thick. Great. Going in. This is going to take a while. I'll be back once this is all done. Eternity ladle. All right, so after 50 ladles, basically, I've now put all of them in equal measurements. I know it seems like I ate out of the bowl. This is just my ability to get the most of my product because I'm a cheap Asian. But now we must begin the gel food coloring. I don't know how much to put in, so I'm going to start with two drops just because I need to use one drop of red and blue for purple. There's only five colors and do red, yellow, green, blue, purple, fuck orange. I still dare him on the watch. One, two. Purple's going to be right here. Now, let's see if I can actually make the color purple because throughout my years on YouTube, I fill up three parts of this now. Oh, what the fuck? What? Oh, that's like, that's just blue. I've been unsuccessful. Wait, how does this make yellow? It's literally red. Two drops for blue. Now I'm going to get a close-up of us mixing it together using the only mixing tool ever. All right, you know what? We're going to start with purple because purple doesn't get enough attention. Okay, honestly, that looks like America. Okay, on camera, I will admit, it doesn't look as good, but trust me in person, this is a very good purple. Here, I'll show it in front of this camera. See, it's purple. Okay, next up, we're going to do blue. Ooh, this is a nice blue. That's the best blue you could possibly get. Oh my God. My hand is so tired. Okay, blue is done. Now we're going to go to green. Ooh, this green's a little iffy. Ew, okay, that's not a good color. Yeah, I need to put another drop of green in here. I told you, it's always fucking green that messes it up. Yeah, it's always green. It's always you that messes up my projects. Dude, this looks like vomit, actually. I need to put four drops of green in here. Okay, the green is as best as I could get it. I don't know if you can see or not. Yellow, I'm going to need you to not do what green did. Oh, this is the perfect shade. Yes. Look at this, perfect shade of yellow. All right, last color, red, which is probably going to be pink. I need a moment. That's what it looks like. Now that I have my colors of the rainbow, we're now going to put it into the pans. Transfer each color to a cake pan that's been lined in spray with cooking spray. Well, I don't have fucking parchment paper, so we're just going to use coconut oil. And I'm doing it all back here because I ran out of room here. First, I'm going to shake up my cooking spray and then just spray it all down. Hopefully that's enough. First comes red. Fuck, I didn't think this through. And back with the spatula. I'm just going to push all of it into the pan, including the parts that you did not end up mixing because you used fucking chopsticks. Next up is yellow. I'm going to do it right here. Oh, look how smooth that is and how ch- Oh, there's a chunk. I also forgot to mix the bottom of it. Oh my God. All of these are about to have a white spot. All right, if you couldn't tell what happened, basically all of these have some white in the middle just because I can't mix for shit. So to fix this, we're going to mix it again. Now. I don't really know. I'm just going to try. I think I fixed it as best as I could. I'm going to preheat my oven for 350 degrees Fahrenheit and then bake it for 10 to 12 minutes. And of course, my mom uses the oven as storage. This ain't a fucking joke, mom. Well, this will take a while. All right. I can put them in three on top, two on the bottom. I'm also sweating profusely. So hopefully they turn out okay. I've also been cleaning the dishes because I made a fucking mess. All right, so I had to bake these a little bit longer because the center would not set. But I think they're basically done. I'm just going to let them cool off. So I waited enough time to pull these babies out. Oh shit. Maybe I shouldn't do this one handed. Ah, the things I do for you guys. Well, I'm really sad because the color faded with all of them. This is literally gray. Maybe if I cut into it, it's purple. Nope. Like all of them lost their color, but it tastes great. Whatever, I'll have to deal with it. But for now, I have to fucking make an icing. Okay. So now I have to do the icing. I could have done something basic and just buy it off the shelf, but I'm no pussy. We're making it from scratch and I wanted to do a white one, not some creative color for one because I was hoping for the cakes to stand out on their own. But since they look like shit, I'm guessing we're not going to make this icing perfect. Um, maybe it'll look good once I like photoshop it, but at least it tastes good. One cup shortening. I don't know what the fuck that is, but when I looked it up, um, it just said butter. So I'm just going to use butter. One cup dairy-free margarine. So more butter. Seven cups powdered sugar. Who do they want to kill? Are you trying to give me diabetes today? Like just tell me. Yeah, I'm going to split this by half because I don't think we need this much icing. So I'm going to do three and a half cups instead. It's going to look like drugs. No matter what you do, just deal with it. I'm going to put the cup in the bowl because I don't trust this. Oh, shoot. Oh, stop, stop, stop. This is a little more than two cups. So we'll just put one and one-thirty. Fuck. All right. A pinch of salt. Beat the shortening and margarine. It's a light and fluffy. God damn it. I need a bowl. I'm using vegan butter. Regular butter kills me. Now, how do you expect me to get one cup worth of... Oh my God. This is what one cup should look like. I'm just going to slowly cut it. Oh, this is so wrong. I should have gotten the sticks. What am I thinking? Oh, that's like half a cup, I think. Another fourth of a cup. Okay, I think I got a cup in there. And that's all my butter gone. If this goes flying everywhere and into my face, I'm going to be so mad. Just pray with me that that doesn't happen. All right, ready? Here we go. We're drilling. We're drilling. This is doing virtually nothing. I think this is as light and fluffy as we can get it. I'm going to go ahead and add in the powdered sugar. Beat this, slowly add powdered sugar. It's flying everywhere. My eyes are hurting from this powdered sugar. It's starting to look like icing. You see this? I have to do this for like five minutes straight and then I can whisk it. I'm doing this for you, you stupid uncolored cake. Wait, I kind of want it to be cream cheese frosting. I'm going to get some cream cheese. Now I didn't bother looking up a recipe, so I just eyeballed it. I put about that much in. If you want to know, I think it's about a half cup I put in. Oh my God. That tastes amazing. Wow. And if I have to add more cream cheese, I just will. I have a lot. My hands taste like confetti. Oh my God, there's powdered sugar everywhere. Everything tastes sweet now. Um, I know they told me to add oil and vanilla in, but honestly, I don't think we need it. I'm just going to add milk because I don't think we need this to be any more unhealthy than it already is. It needs more cream cheese. Dude, the cream cheese made this so thick. Holy crap. That's it. Oh, it tastes amazing. So now what I'm going to do is add non-dairy milk accordingly. I'm going to slowly add more and more until it's the consistency I want. This is what the consistency looks like right now. It tastes so unhealthy and just because it's vegan doesn't mean it's not healthy for you. Like my stomach is already dying. Now we're going to just cover. Actually, you know what? I want a fucking yellow cake. I'm already mad enough I couldn't get that to work. So we're just going to make this yellow icing. Holy crap, this is really yellow. Ugh, beautiful. I'm not going to lick this because it's already discussed actually. All right, this whole table is now covered in white powder. Okay, so the icing is done. I'm going to wait for those to cool off all the way and then we'll get to assembling. A few minutes later. All right, so I have been letting my icing chill in the fridge for a little bit. These are kind of like not flat. I'm going to have to cut them so they become flat. So I'm just going to cut this across like so. Kids, don't do this at home, please. Like just ask an adult. But I can do it because I am a legal adult now. Okay, that wasn't necessarily straight. I mean, I don't know what I expected. I'm not straight. Maybe I don't have to cut it. I don't feel like cutting them all. That's going to take a lot of work. So I'm just going to keep laying them on top of each other and see like, would it actually work? I think it would. We'll just go with it. Yes. Wow, that's going to be a big cake. Add another layer. You should cut this flat, by the way, but I'm just too fucking lazy. I've been baking all day and I'm tired. Um, push it down to make it flat. You know, maybe I should have cut this flat. That's so much work. We'll cut it flat. Let me just cut off this part right now. Oh, it actually is blue. Holy shit, this tastes great. Who cares how it looks? It tastes amazing. Yeah, I really don't know how to cut straight green on top. Dude, why can't I cut things straight? That was terrible. I just want to cut it flat. Like that's so hard. Know what? The icing will cover this all up. Everything will be fine. Fuck making flat cakes. Like this is so time consuming. Hate baking. I'm getting crumbs everywhere. It tastes good though. And that's what matters. We can't let them see our mistakes, guys. I'm not even having a birthday party. This is just for me. Yellow, as always, came out looking like a regular cake. Oh my God. It's so fat. We're good. We're good. We're still good. Keep going. You're good. You're good. Oh, shit. We did it. Of course, yellow comes through, as always. Green? No. Why would it? Fucking hates me. It's okay because I hate you just as much green. I missed. Fuck. I'm not going to cut the top flat because there's no reason to. Now what we must do is try to cover this whole cake. But first, I want to try to make sure the sides are all even. What I should have done is grab like a bowl, cut it each time and then do it because these edges are a little too crisp. Do I? Do I do it right now? Oh, it's perfect. Fuck it. We're doing it. We're going to take all these off one more time. Oh my God, please stay in time. Yeah, the screen did not make it. Don't do what I did. All right. I'm just going to cut it right now. Only to reveal a perfect circle. Woo. Oh, it's a fucking flood bath, guys. There it is. And we place it on top. All right. That did not go as badly as I planned. She's a little lopsided. It's fine. Never mind, she's very lopsided. Look at all the cake I have to finish, guys. So what I want to do now is attempt to ice this. I never said I had to look good. I made a fucking vegan cake, guys. I did not say this would end pretty. I never promised that. But for those of you who do want to do this and have some cooking experience, don't make the mistakes I did. Be patient. Yeah, I don't really know how to frost the bottom of this part because I feel like this cake is fucking absorbing it. Is the sun really setting? Fuck. Oh my God, there's a whole side I haven't even frosted. I'm so tired. I don't even care if it doesn't look good. It just tastes good and I want to eat it now. I'm sorry, but cream cheese frosting. And vegan cream cheese frosting that won't kill me in my sleep. Let's just cut into it really quick. Hold on. While it cuts well. Oh, fuck. This is so... Well, that's why you don't make a five layer cake. Oh my God, it's really about to fall. But that is a rainbow cake if I've ever seen one. Of course you fell, you bitch. So this is what my cake ended up looking like. But I'm just gonna set this aside and I'll finish it all tonight because this boy's fucking hungry and he's a legal adult. I also have a shitload of dishes to do. Doesn't look that bad once you cut into it. But three things I learned today. Cream cheese frosting is the best. Put at least four drops of food coloring into your cake and be patient when you're cutting into it. That is the end of Pride Month videos. Also, Primarch will stop selling by the end of June 30th. Get it while you can. I don't know when it comes back. But as always, I read a coming out story at the end of every video and I said I'd only do it during Pride Month, but I can do what I want and I'm gonna choose to keep reading these stories until the day I die because I think it's important for you to hear these no matter what. Every month is Pride Month in my book. So I'm just gonna read one story on Instagram. This is my coming out story to my friends only. I was walking back to school from my PE class with my best friend and it was April 1st, 2019. I told her with fake tears that I have a crush on her. Although I wasn't joking about it. I then told her these are fake tears and I don't have a crush on you, but I'm still by. She hugged me while crying, then I hugged her back, sobbing intensely. A week ago, I told my current girl crush, future wife, role model or whatever the fuck that I was by, but I never told her I liked her. We should definitely tell them you like them. But that's all I have for you guys today. If you enjoyed, give it a like. Leave a comment down below saying happy birthday to me and subscribe for more videos every Saturday slash Sunday or whenever the fuck because I don't have a schedule anymore, let's be honest. I'm gonna go put myself into a food coma and as always I love you guys and everything is less than three. Don't mind me, I'm just washing dishes right now.