 What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And I just found out, sadly, that Demi Lovato relapsed. And a lot of people have been doing reaction videos to her song Sober, my lovely girlfriend just informed me of this. So I decided I'll do a reaction. So I just celebrated six years sober. I am somebody who has relapsed many, many, many times. I believe Demi Lovato and I had around the same clean date. So when my girlfriend told me this, I was like, wait, she must have just really recently relapsed because her clean date was right around the same time as mine. So I found that very interesting. But in this video, I want to give my reaction to her song, the lyrics. I'm going to be pausing it. I'm going to be talking. I'm going to try to give advice on how to deal with relapse. And then towards the end of the video, I'm going to talk a little bit about my thoughts and opinions on her situation. And her relapse and what she should do moving forward. And I'm not an expert or anything, but just a guy who is in recovery and works with a lot of clients who are trying to stay clean too. So without further ado, let's watch this. This is her live performance, I believe from Portugal or something like that. Anyways, let's watch it. Like I said, I'll be pausing. Try not to get annoyed, but I do want to discuss some of the lyrics of the song. Let's go. Wait me when the shakes are gone and the cold sweats disappear. Call me when it's over and myself is repeat. I do it every, every, every time it's only. Sometimes I just want to get in, I don't want to fight. I try, and I try, and I try, and I try, and I just hold. So the first little section right there, like she's talking about the withdrawals, right? Like the shaking and the cold sweats and everything like that. I'm not sure what substances she relapsed on. I think one of her substances of choice was alcohol. Yeah, yeah, it was definitely alcohol. I did a video that I'm going to link up in the description on her documentary that she did on YouTube. It's phenomenal. I highly suggest you check it out. But anyways, yeah, like the withdrawal is terrible. Like on my video that I did about opiate withdrawal, I've also done about one about alcohol withdrawal. Like one of the things that keeps me sober on a day to day basis, especially when like life's getting rough or the cravings are coming and things like that, is I never, ever, ever, ever want to forget how terrible withdrawal is. And she's saying like wake me up, you know, when it's over. This next part, I'm not sure if it's the course. I think it's the course. And she's saying that she tries and tries and, you know, she's done this over and over and over again. And she says it only happens when she's lonely. And my best suggestion to anybody out there who is struggling to stay clean or you're an early recovery, right? The best thing that you can do, and I say it's my secret to recovery. It's not a huge secret. Look at everything in the past that has caused you to relapse. Like Demi's acknowledging that being lonely is what makes her relapse. So I know that when I isolate, and I've talked to all of you so many times about isolation and how terrible it is, like it's so important for me to not be in that place. Like when I'm feeling lonely, when I'm feeling isolated, like it forces me, like I have to force myself rather to go out, reach out and connect with other people. Like that's one of the cool things about being a celebrity, you know, like I guess cool. Like I'm like being able to have this outlet, you know, and this is why I recommend all of you find some kind of creative outlet. If it's not music writing or something like that. Like she's able to talk through this stuff like man relapse sucks. It sucks. And like going to people and letting them know my last relapse lasted me about a year and a half because I didn't want to say those. Sorry, I didn't want to go to my mom, my dad, my baby mama, you know, my friends and all these people who I let down an amazing song that I really need to do a breakdown on is Macklemore starting over. But it's very inspirational. That song, but as well as this one where you're like you're being an example of like getting back up and trying this thing again, because so many people relapse and they just want to give up. I'm sorry to my future love, my bad, for making love the way I say it for you inside. And I'm sorry for the fans I lost, you wash me all again. Like that's just kind of weird. I think like people just hear the word fans and they start screaming but like her lyrics are saying like I'm sorry for the fans I lost. Like it's not like a screaming. It's kind of like when you're on Facebook and you post something about like being miserable or depressed or something terrible happening and somebody like gives it a thumbs up. That's why I'm glad like Facebook like put all the other little reaction things that you can do because like when somebody like gives a thumbs up or in this case cheers when you're saying something like not good. You're kind of like, did you really understand what I was trying to say? But anyways, so yeah, but anyways, you know, breaking that down like she's taught she talks first about the people who have never left her side and stuck by her like so this last weekend, I just got to see one of my best friends in Southern California. She came with me, my son, my girlfriend to Corgi Beach Day, and I have a but not a bunch. I have a, you know, a small handful of friends who stuck by me through the relapses and stuck by me through my recovery to and they never left my side. And some people are going to leave, you know, like all of you and this is something I say all the time like all of you right now, like you're meeting the best version of me you're meeting me right you love me I'm amazing. That's a joke come down. But there's a lot of people out there who still think I'm a jerk for the things that I did before, you know, but there are people who stuck with me through all of this. But yeah, there are people who are going to leave and that's, you know, that's the thing like every day, I always say this to people that every day you got to wake up and say what's your motivation for staying clean. And some days you don't want to stay clean for yourself but some days you got to stay clean for other people like you don't want to lose those people you don't want to hurt those people you don't want to harm those people. You know what I mean. And that's something that helps keep me clean today. But anyways, I'm going to touch some more on people sticking by you towards the end. And real quick like that that part where you know she talks about like eventually you know she she just caves in and she doesn't want to try anymore and stuff. And like man, this is why we really got to work on our mental health, especially if you're in a recovery. If you're recovering addict like man, like in early recovery like your first year of recovery, you got to like glue your hands to the chair and just not pick up a drink or a drug. No matter what like that's pretty much all you got to do right now you got to do this you got to do some other stuff too. But anyways, like man, my recovery and by by all means I don't want to come off cocky or egotistical like I am a few bad decisions away from relapsing myself. But like, I'm glad that you know because I'm so passionate about working on my mental health. I don't got to fight anymore like it's not a day to day struggle for me anymore. Like if you ask me like today how I deal with like cravings and urges to use like I'll have to sit there and think about it for a while because they rarely ever happen. And like it sucks because Demi you know she's a celebrity. She is constantly being pounded with stress. You know what I'm saying and she also struggled with some mental illnesses her herself and like these are all very very difficult and it makes it 10 times harder when you're a celebrity. You know but man like she needs that support group and I hope she's still working some type of program. I could do a whole video about the lifestyle and things and Demi Lovato specifically like I've seen just how she lives her life in sobriety based on the documentary I watch. And I'm like man that's risky but you know I've seen people do it before but I do think there are some things in her lifestyle that she chooses to do that have put her at a higher risk. So never left me. We've been down things wrong before. I'm so sorry. I'm not sober anymore. Sorry that I hear it. Dang girl. Dang preach it like that that's great how she ends that song like and I'm sorry to myself like that's huge. One of the hardest things to do is just forgive yourself and to move forward like the last person I really had to make an amends to was was myself. You know I I've mentioned this in other videos about when my mental health gets screwed up like I can beat myself up like nobody can like as much as we feel like we let other people down like man. We let ourselves down and we we can have this in crazy internal dialogue. You know what I mean. But anyways phenomenal phenomenal song. I just I love when celebrities do this and they're open and vocal about recovery as well as relapse because it inspires others unless other people know the last few minutes of this video. I just want to talk about kind of I don't know the article that my girlfriend sent me was like oh Demi Lovato gets this outpouring of you know support from her fans and everything like that. And that's so cool. I love it. I love it like here's my opinion just my opinion just me humble me. I'm a nobody but this is my opinion. It's it's this it's this thing that there has to be a balance to it right like and here's what I mean. When too many people forgive you and support you it it can be enabling. All right. It can be an enabler like when you relapse and if everybody if everybody around you says it's OK. It's OK. It's OK. Like there's a part of your brain your addicted brain that says see you can relapse. It's not that bad. People aren't that mad at you. You know what I mean. I'm like it's it's dangerous but like I said you need that you need people to forgive you you need people to support you like in 12 step programs. They say we don't shoot our wounded. That's so so so important. The approach that I take with my clients OK when I get a call that somebody relapsed. All right. I talk to them. I say the first thing I say is I'm glad you're alive. All right. First thing I say OK. OK. And then I give them real tough love. I'm like you screwed up. You screwed up really bad. OK. Then I'm like let's talk about what led to this. What are you going to do differently this time. You know I have to let them know that like what happened is not OK. Like we have to just make sure that even though we're providing them with support and letting them know that we're not leaving them and we still support them and we also have to let them know like you don't mess up. You messed up. I made a video a long time ago long long time ago about Facebook support groups because sometimes that's what I see in recovery Facebook support groups where people are like hey it's OK. It's OK. Don't worry. And that's like all the comments are I'm like is anybody going to be like hey it's kind of not OK at the same time. You know what I mean. Like it's a balance. It's a balance. And like I just I don't know how to express it in a way where I don't sound like a jerk. But I also don't sound like an enabler. But I hope it makes sense. And I hope it comes with a balance. But here's the thing is why I tell people to like Demi Lovato knows how to stay sober. She knows how to if she can go back and do what she did like she knows what works. OK. So if you're out there and you had some sobriety a decent length of sobriety. I don't care. Whatever decent length of sobriety means to you. I don't care if it's a month two months three months a year six years whatever it is. Like look back and say how did I do it the first time. OK. Well I know what keeps me sober for this long. Now what do I got to do after that. What do I got to do after that point. OK. All right. But anyways like I really enjoyed that song and hopefully Demi does well in her recovery and all that. But yeah if any of you have questions for me or if you have suggestions on how to deal with relapse leave them down in the comments below. All right. But anyways that's all I got for you today. And if you like this video please give it a thumbs up. And if you are new here I'm always making videos to help you out with your mental and emotional well being. So click that round subscribe button. I'm going to put it right there. And if you would like to support the channel over on Patreon like so many others are doing for you can click the top right there. All right. Thanks so much for watching. I love you. I'll see you next time.