 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company makers of Parquet Margarine. Millions of women all over America serve Parquet because it tastes so good. Why, Parquet tastes like it should cost twice as much. To market, to market, to get some parquet. Home again, home again, try it someday. You'll like it, you'll love it like millions who say they're favorite margarine. P-A-R-K-A-Y Parquet Margarine, made by Kraft. Well, let's see what Summerfield's water commissioner's doing this morning. He strides into the office full of purpose and breakfast, ready to accomplish great things. Nice to see you on the ball, Bessie. On the what? Nice to see you working. Oh, that's why I'm here. Bessie, where's that old water bill that bashful collector of ours couldn't get? The water commissioner's going to get it today or turn off somebody's water. You are? That bill must be six months old. Should have been brought to my attention a long ago, Bessie. Where is it? Right on your desk, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. How long's it been there? Six months. Six months, eh? Must be about a half way down this pile then. What a neat desk Bessie keeps for me. Can't even see the water cooler over the top. Bessie, this pile has grown overnight. What are all these things? Well, they came in the mail, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Huh? Let's see. Circular from the mother's helper, Baby Laundry. How did I get my name? Hogan Brothers' tiny tot shop. Baby foods. You get a baby in the house and right away, 500 salesmen know about it. And by the way, there was one in early this morning. I told him to come back. Who, Bessie? A baby salesman. Bessie, we don't have time for baby salesmen here at the office. Oh, but this one... You spend entirely too much time talking salesman. That'll never get us anywhere, Bessie. Got me three lunches last week. We never get a nice water-hype in salesmen. Bessie, let's find the water bill. That's another thing you have to learn. When you start something, follow it through. Oh, I will, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. He's taking me to dinner tonight. Bessie, see who that is. If it's that salesman, tell him I'm not in. Tell a fib? A business fib, Bessie. Yes, sir. You say so, sir. You sleep in? No, sir. I'm too busy. I'll bet Henry Kaiser doesn't talk to everybody. Well, I don't have anything to sell him. I have something to give him. A little matter of a thousand dollars. A thousand? No, I'm not that busy. Bessie, what's the idea of telling people I'm not in? Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Mr. Gilder Sleeve? That's me all right. Come in, Mr. Armstrong. Armstrong? Well, a fine old man. Come on in, Mr. Armstrong. We'll close the door. Bessie, I'm not in. You're not the man who sold me that stock in the old faithful oil company in 1929, are you? No, no, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Well, sit down, Mr. Armstrong. Thank you. Have a cigar. Thank you. This is a thousand-dollar insurance policy I'm offering you. Give me back that cigar. Oh, but I'm giving you the policy, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, to hold and trust for your baby. Oh? Yes, it seems she has quite a few friends. They got together and bought her a little go-to-college policy. Well, who did that? An organization known as the Jolly Boys. The Jolly Boys? Here's the cigar. Let me light it for you. Thank you. The Jolly Boys. I knew they were found to be, but I didn't think they were so crazy about my baby. He isn't that nice, thinking of my little baby. Well, I helped them think of it. Yes, well, I appreciate it. And so does the baby. Well, now all you have to do, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, is fill out this form. Be glad to. Let's see. Name of parent or guardian. Throckmorton. P. Gilder Sleeve. Residents. 217 Elm Street. Summerfield. Name of insured. Name of insured? The baby's name. I just happened to think. She doesn't have a name. I found her in the back of my car last month. Well, I did. But wasn't there some identification pinned on her? Well, there was a pin, but no identification. Well, what do you call her? We call her baby. Well, when you have a name for her, just give me a ring at this number. But I'll hold the policy. Oh, then I'll get on it right away. Good day. Good day, Mr. Armstrong. Bessie. Bessie, get Judge Hooker on the telephone and tell him I'm coming right over. Yes, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. And I found the delinquent water bill. $1,000 for baby. What water bill? Well, the one you're going to collect today or turn out this water. Stick it back in the pile, Bessie. Oh, but Mr. Gilder Sleeve. What do those delinquents expect me to do? Neglect my baby's education? Nice thing you and the Jolly Boys did for the baby. Oh, is the man over? Very considerate of you, Judge. Thank you, Gilder. Far-sighted, too. When she comes of college age, we want to be sure she has the proper size. Well, that's nice. Because if she's still in your care, Gilder, she'll need the money. What? Who knows? Eighteen years from now, you may not even be water commissioner. You may be hobbling around reading meters. Now, see here, Hooker. Only kidding, Gilder. Well, don't kid so close to home. Judge, have you found out anything yet about the baby's family? I'm checking, Gilder. Checking. You've been checking for a whole month. We don't even have a name to put on the insurance policy. Well, then, under the circumstances, my advice to you is to name her yourself. Is that legal? Temporarily, she's a member of your household, Gilder. So gather your little family around the conference table and name the infant. Name the baby. Well, that should be fun. Just one thing, Gilder. Let me admonish you to select a name with utmost care. Oh, naturally. It'll mean a great deal to the child as she grows and flowers into womanhood. I remember how much my name meant to me. Horace Hooker? Yes, Gilder. Horace Greeley Hooker for Horace Greeley. Judge, what are you doing? Opening the window. I've always taken that name very serious. Don't take it that seriously. Don't jump, Judge. I'm not, Gilder. I'm just looking out over the horizon. Horace for Horace Greeley, that eminent early American journalist. It was he who advised a new generation, go West, young man. Yes, yes. As a matter of fact, his exact words were, and I quote verbatim, if you have no friends or family to aid you and no prospect open to you there, turn your face to the great West. Gilder, where are you going? Where are you going West, Judge? Don't fall out of the window. Hold your napkin. Another cup of coffee, Mr. Gilder? Coffee? Not tonight, Bertie. You can clear the table. Yes, sir. And join us as soon as you can, Bertie. You will be interested in this little family conference. Yes, sir. As soon as I get baby ready for bed. Uncle Mord, what's the conference all about? Yeah, what's the big secret? I've got things to do. Well, children, you'll be happy to know that today the Jolly Boys presented me a $1,000 go-to-college insurance policy. Great, Uncle. What subject are you going to take? It's for the baby, Leroy. Wonderful, Lunky, so she can be a co-ed. That's right. So tonight, we've got to decide upon a name for her. A name? That's right. Okay, ma'am. Leroy, you come back here. We're going to give this a little thought. Marjorie, hand me the family album off the buffet. Oh, that? Well, it's not a bad idea to pick a family name. Thank you. A lot of dead wood there. I'll take Aunt Sarah here. When they ran the railroad through her house, she picked up quite a little money. Might name her Sarah. Oh, Uncle. And then there's Aunt Hattie. Who's that holding the derby? Oh, I'm the tight pass. Marjorie, that's me. I was still growing. Telephone directory? Naturally. I'll go look. A lot of people pick names out of the directory. Well, I don't know. Let's take one at random. How's Adele, Uncle? Adele? Well, keep going. Hey, Uncle, how about naming her after some movie star? Well, I hadn't thought of that. Sure. They give girls swell names. Jinx, Paulkenberg, Ginger Rogers. The Body of Donald. Leroy, you'll sit right there, young man. Don't get any ideas about the movies until we're through. Your girlfriend's naming the telephone board. Oh, my goodness. Apolly, I've got so much to tell. Marjorie, terminate the conversation. Some other time. Goodbye. Goodbye. Now, my dear, do you suppose we can continue the family conference? Oh, of course, Uncle. Fine. What's that? Oh, that's Red's horn. He said he might honk. Marjorie, what about naming the baby? Well, I hope he won't honk. He Red never has much gas. Teenagers. Honk. I've been sitting here like a good little boy. How about let me go to the movies? All right to leave tomorrow. All right, Leroy. You might as well go, too. And here. Thanks, Uncle. Thanks. Well, don't come back with anything like trigger. Hey, George, if you want to get something done, do it yourself. Oh, Brady. Yes. She just came in to say good night. Great. Put the basket right here on the chair, Brady. Maybe she'll have some ideas. We're going to give her a name, Brady. That's good. About time. Kitcha-kitcha-coo. How are you this evening? My finger. How do you do? I think you should be called, little girl. I don't think I can spell that. Brady, do you have any ideas? I'll tell you one thing, Mr. Gillsleeve. I think a person ought to have a name that fits. Oh, I agree with that. What do you mean? Well, just like they say in the horoscope books, follow the zodiac signs. The zodiac signs? Well, there's a sign to fit everything in everybody. But we don't know her birthday. Well, she's about six months old, so she could be a February Aquarius. That's the sign of the great president. Now, Bertie, we're not going to call a baby George or Abraham. Or she could be a March Pisces. Pisces? Is that good, Bertie? It is in this case. You're the water commissioner, and that's the water sign. Well, now we're getting someplace. Baby, you're the water commissioner's little Pisces. And on the other hand, you've got a lot of good traits that come under Gemini. Gemini? Of course, Sagittarius really fits, because they're so friendly. I knew a Salish Sagittarius. And then there's Neo and Capricorn. Now, that's a good sign, Bertie. We can't name the baby after all the signs. I don't know, Mr. Gillsleeve. That little roly-poly's got the good qualities of all 12. You may have to call a Gemini, Aquarius, Salish Sagittarius, Neo, Capricorn, Gillsleeve. What a cooperation a man gets around this house. Come on, baby. That's the best suggestion yet. Be sure to stay tuned in tonight, because Parkay Margeron has a big surprise for you. Have your pencil and paper handy, too. Then you'll be prepared for the big news that comes at the end of this program. Well, let's get back to the great Gildersleeve. His agile brain cells are still beating themselves against the stone wall as he tries to think of a name for the new baby. Perhaps a mid-morning cup of coffee will help. Hello, Pee-Vee. Yeah, hello, Mr. Gillsleeve. What can your friendly neighborhood drugists do for you this morning? Well, I'll have a cup of coffee. And Pee-Vee, I want to thank you, Jolly Boys, for that go-to-college policy you bought for the baby. He's a cute little guy. We were very happy to do it. We'll see you at the meeting tonight, won't we? Oh, wouldn't miss it. Now, do you suppose you can serve me that hot cup of coffee? Well, I see no reason why I can. You know, a man was in here the other morning and he asked if we served eggs. And I said, we serve everyone. No reflection, Mr. Gildersleeve, with a little witticism. That was a little witticism in 1890, Pee-Vee. It's as old as your eggs. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. All right, Pee-Vee, let's have the coffee. I have things on my mind. All right, all right. There you are. Before I can even fill out the policy, I have to think of a name for the baby. Well, everybody ought to have a name, Mr. Gildersleeve. Same as every drugstore. You ought to have a stamp machine. Yep. What's this, Pee-Vee? At least a man should die. Oh. Well, you can't send a girl to college without a name. Well, your man may be right. And the little family certainly didn't come up with anything. It isn't exactly a sanitary keeping stamps in the cash drawer. Looks like it's entirely up to me. And on the other hand, I don't know how my regular customers would feel about it. Feel about what? Putting 10 cents in the machine and only getting 9 cents for a stamp. Confounded Pee-Vee, we're not talking about stamp machines? No, I am. I've considered installing one for each hour once now. Yes. The man suggested I put it right over there by the news rack. All right, Pee-Vee. Go ahead. Talk about your stamp machine. Get it all out of your system. Then maybe we can talk about a name for my baby. Very well, Mr. Gildersleeve. I always enjoy talking about what the customer wants to talk about. Fine. Any suggestion from you? Well, I suggested we put it right by the door. What? The stamp machine. Oh, my goodness. You know, they are very ingenious machines. For a dime, you can get three, three. And for a nickel, you can get... Pee-Vee for two cents, I... Oh, pennies, don't fret, Mr. Gildersleeve. Oh! I'm getting out of here. Good luck. Hey, Comish. I've done everything a barber can do. Well, thanks. No, no, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hang on. Face looks like you've been shaving yourself, Commissioner. For the time you get here on Saturday, you don't need a shave. You need a vulcanizing job. Now, Floyd. Yeah. Now, up we go. What's the matter? Busy. Yeah, I'm sorry, Comish. You ain't been in for so long. I forgot how the blood rushes to your feet. I wasn't quite ready to come up, Floyd. I was thinking. Yeah? Floyd. Yeah. Have you heard of any good girls' names lately? Oh, so that's it. What's the matter, Comish, that Fairchild Dame give you the sack? Yeah, no, Floyd. As a matter of fact, I've been seeing Adeline more than ever. Just branching out, huh? What? Well, maybe I can help you with that. Here's a little address book I found in the chair last winter. Floyd. Must have fell out of somebody's hip pocket. Yeah. I have no need for an address book. I only want to name the baby. Oh, yeah? This one's loaded with babies. Get this. Huh? Maggie Simi and Mimi Simpson. Sounds classy, Comish. Put it away, Floyd. I'm not going to name the baby that way. Okay, don't say I didn't try to help. Hey, let me even up this sideburn. Mm-hmm. And say, Comish, if you're really stuck for a name, why don't you let me call the Mrs. Lovey's got swell ideas for names. She named herself. Lovey? Yeah. Thanks, Floyd. Well, you can't beat a woman's touch. Well, you may have something there. Come to think of it, I haven't discussed the baby's name with Adeline. I might just drop by on my way home. Oh, hold it then, Comish, while I get the scissors again. What now, Floyd? Well, if you're seeing Miss Fairchild, I better trim the lip with a fringe on top. Oh, well, not a man idea. Take your time. See, better write a few names down before I forget them. Nancy, that was Bessie's suggestion. Mimi. A man scraping the bottom of the barrel when he starts getting names out of lost address books. Wait and track, Morton, but I didn't know you were coming, so I had to do a little primping. Oh, well, no need to primp for me. I'm just a neighbor. Well, I've always been one to incur it as the good neighbor policy. Yeah. Well, hmm, nice perfume, Adeline. Thank you, time, sir. Rightfully expensive. Hmm, I like it. Then I'll sit on this side of you. I'll put it behind my left ear. The reason I came over, Adeline, is to get your help in naming the baby. Oh, well, you're going to give a cute little doll in the name. Yeah, it's even harder than you think. I've been racking my brain for two days. Well, I don't see why it should be so difficult throughout Morton. Why don't you name her after somebody near and dear to you? Well, we sort of gave up on family names. Well, Trockmorton, the nearest and dearest, isn't necessarily a member of the family. Ah. Who's nearest and dearest to you? Well, I... Who'd you rather be with than anyone else? Well, the jolly boys. Trockmorton, he'd give the sleeve I like that to think you prefer the company of the jolly boys to me. I was only thinking of tonight, Adeline. It's our regular meeting night. Oh, but I... Now, Adeline, sit right down again. That's a girl. Ask me who's dearest and nearest six nights a week. What have you been doing? You're writing a note on that envelope till it'll owe me. Oh, no, no. There's just some girls' names. Well, yes, I am. Cheering girls, they Trockmorton, you fickle, yanky you. Good Adeline. Who's that namey? Just the name I picked up in the barbershop. Boy! I'm only looking for a name for the baby. Well, don't come looking to Adeline. You can just go to those jolly boys you'd rather be with, or your jolly girls. Good Adeline. Your hat, Mr. Gilda's sleeve. All right. I will go to the jolly boys. Goodbye. Even when you're right, you can't explain things to a woman. Wait, the jolly boys furnish the policy? They have a right to help name the baby. Imagine Adeline wanting to name the baby after her. These vain women. Hi, Commissioner. Well, Floyd, you're here early. And since you phoned us about naming the baby, I've really been mulling it over. You have? Yes, sit down, Commissioner. Now look, before I give you my idea, here's a little something for the baby. Oh, you shouldn't have done it, Floyd. Admit one, Floyd's barbershop. That's for a first-hand, Bob, Commissioner. On the house. You're not about to name, look. Commissioner, me and the Mrs. don't have no family, so I never had a kid named after me. What's this, Floyd? What do you think of Flo? Flo, Floyd? Yeah. I hadn't really thought that. Well, hello, flowers. Good girl, then, Floyd. Hey, think it over, Commissioner, will you? Flo. Yeah, well, come on in, Judge. Hello, Chief. Hello, Mr. Floyd. Well, let's everybody open up a Coke, then we get on with the meeting. You have the opener, Chief? Chief of police with a bottle opener? Ho, ho, ho. Floyd? There it is, Chief. Gildy, I have a word with you. What is it, Judge? Well, Gildy, I've always considered myself very close to your little family. Now, about a name for the baby. Yes, Horace? What do you think of Hortense? Hortense? Hortense. I don't know, Judge. I'll have to think that over. Well, let's call the meeting. Well, Commissioner, before you open the meeting. Yes, Judge. Chief. How about this name for the baby? Yes, Donald. It being a girl, what do you think of Donna? Oh, my goodness. You too, Chief. You asked for a suggestion. Oh, excuse me, Chief. Yeah? Caffer Coke, Mr. Gildy? Well, thanks, baby. I can use one. Well, let's get the meeting underway, Father. Mr. Gildy? Yeah? I've been giving the name quite a little thought, and I came up with quite a cute one. All right. Out with it, Pee-Vee. What do you think of Pee-Vet? Pee-Vee. Oh, for goodness' sake. And I thought women were vain. Pee-Vet. What's the matter with all you fellas? Wanting to name the baby after yourselves? Well, what's wrong with Donna? It's my mother's name over in Salinas. Oh, clothes better not. Perhaps we should open the meeting before you. Lay out of this, Hooker. Don't try to lawyer this thing. Quiet, Floyd. This is democracy at work. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Shut up, everybody. I've already made my decision. Yeah? Until we can peacefully decide on a name, we'll go on calling her baby. Baby. We shouldn't be fighting anyway. Of course we shouldn't, fellas. We're all Jolly Boys. No, no, I wouldn't say that. Oh, what a heck with a name. Let's have a little song, huh? This one's for the kid. Well, nice selection, Floyd. Sweetest little baby, everybody knows that she's my hero. I wonder who she is with her eyes so tiny blue. Make you think that she's coming. The Great Gildersleeve has to have a name for the baby. There's no doubt about that. And that means news for you. Tonight, Parkay announces a series of weekly big prize contests. By naming the Gildersleeve Mystery Baby, you can win the new 1949 Ford and maybe a grand bonus prize of $1,000 in cash. Just listen to all these prizes. Four big, beautiful streamlined Ford sedans will be won each week for five weeks. Twenty Fords in all. And every week for five weeks, Parkay will also award. Forty general electric table radios. Twenty Corey coffee makers. Twenty Toastmaster automatic pop-up toasters. Sixty new $10 bills. That's 721 prizes in all. And remember the person who sends in the name finally chosen gets $1,000 in addition to his 1949 Ford. So think of a name for the Gildersleeve Mystery Baby. She's a small blonde baby girl. Then write your choice on an entry blank. They're available at your food dealers with complete contest rules. Or if you prefer, you can use a plain piece of paper. Send entry with one red flap from the end of a package of Parkay Margarine and your name and address to Parkay Margarine, box 736, Chicago 77, Illinois. Be sure to enclose your name and address of your Parkay dealer. Remember, get an entry blank from your dealer. Don't forget the red end flap from a package of Parkay. Go after one of those 2019-49 Fords. They're big, handsome, high-powered. Today, send your entry to Parkay Margarine, box 736, Chicago 77, Illinois. Hurry, the first week's contest closes at midnight October 16th. Well, little baby, did you hear that? We've asked all our friends to help find a name for you. You like that, eh? Makes you feel pretty important, doesn't it? Well, there'll be a lot of fine names coming in to choose from. So please, folks, send in your names for baby. Old Uncle Mort needs help on this thing. Well, I do. Good night, folks. These days, it's a wise homemaker who cooks with cheese. The prices have come down. Cheese is a bargain in nutrition. Actually, cheese is a main dish food, a protein food. Ounce for Ounce, no other basic food matches cheese for high-quality, complete protein, for calcium, phosphorus, and other nutrients from milk. Crafts' pasteurized processed varieties are always smooth-melting, perfect for cooking. Ask for medium-mallow craft American, sharp old English, or for rich yet mild cheddar flavor, get the famous cheese food, Belvedere. The fries serve thrifty, golden-good cheese dishes often.