 One of my biggest flaws of being a human being is the fact that I try to be a people pleaser and it's probably one of my worst characteristics simply because I know myself, I cannot please everyone and there's no way to help. No one can please everyone and I try so hard to get accepted and it's a big thing for BPD, we all want acceptance, everyone knows that but I try so hard to please people and the last few days, let me tell you, I almost quit doing social media this weekend because of the level of hate. Don't let me drown. What's up you guys, welcome back to my channel, if you're new here, hi, hello, my name is Lydia and today we have lighting. I usually read on the title of this video it is about being a people pleaser, I know, I can't please everyone, I don't, you don't want to tell me that, I'm 21, I'm still, I know that I can't please everyone. Does that then give people the right hate on others? No, it doesn't. Just because someone doesn't like me doesn't mean they can call me that, call me all these horrible things. Just because I try and be positive and because I essentially put my entire ear so bad or up for all my good things. I started doing YouTube as an outlet, as a way of dealing with my own stuff while also helping other people and it's not a stretch to say that because people have said to be messengers that you've helped me and that means a lot, like all ideas share my life. I don't share everything, there's some things that you just don't put on YouTube. I got called out on Twitter because I don't share all the negatives in my life. It's essentially like they was asking me to record being self-harming. It so worked well on the idea of people hating on you and it really has affected me just the last few weeks. Because my social media has grown unbelievably and when I say this I don't mean that it's come off like I'm gloating or anything, but it has grown. I'm still new to the YouTube life. I am not used to getting hate because I didn't used to get any. It's only been the last couple of months that I've really got hate on videos. Obviously there's a comment here like that. Because it grows so quickly I've never had the level of hate that I'm getting now and my way of dealing with it was making videos, ranting and raving about it and I'm saying this now, I'm not going to do that anymore. I will still talk about those objects, I'm going to talk about my life and I continue doing what I'm doing. I need to work on not being good people, please, and just doing what I feel is wrong. And that's the purpose of me making this video. I'm making this video for myself. When you hate on anything you like me, all you want to do is make people feel okay and supportive. When you receive hate it is the worst feeling in the world. This weekend I've had my family here and I've had to put on a smile and be happy, cheery and all good going. And you know what, if I only hit a point tonight where I was like I can't sit here and do nothing about it, I don't want it to consume my life. From this point onwards, any hate, especially on Twitter, is going to go over a block. My mental well-being is more important than Twitter. I'm going to continue doing what I do, I'm going to continue talking about my story. I'm going to continue to share things. Because there are so many stories that I've got that you haven't heard yet because I couldn't or because I didn't feel comfortable or because I wasn't ready. And finally I'm ready to share a lot of stories, especially from back when I lived in Lancashire. There's a lot of stories from back then that I couldn't talk about or that I was too afraid of talking about. But now I can and the fact that I feel ready to is so amazing. Like I said, my anxiety has been really bad this weekend because I've had to put on this little show of me and my grandparents to be like, oh yeah, everything's fine. I don't know. Something hit me this evening and I was like, I need to make a video. It's sad. Hating on other people is sad, genuinely. Like, what would people get out of it? It's so fucking my short and sad. Like, do you have nothing better to do? Like, I'm so relevant compared to other people. I just put my life on line. What do you really gain from calling me fat? Like, tell me that, please. I think I'm near to someone else to point out that I've put away. I know trolls only do it to get my attention. But it has an impact. So trolling is fucking wrong and fucking horrible. So you might seem harmless, but when you're on the receiving end of it, on a mass scale, it is devastating. Well, make me fat. What does that do to you, okay? Like, what do you get out of it? Of the knowing you're gonna make me feel like shit. Yeah, make me feel like shit. I can't make it out of it. But I react how I do for you as a model. You call me that? Of course I'm not allowed to feel happy about that. No one feels happy about getting called fat. I can't get the mentality about it, I just don't. Now you just call me people, please. Being the people, please are. I'm a people, please are. So yeah, thank you for watching. Thank you for supporting me. And if you're new here, hit the subscribe button. And I know, please, well, bye.