The Revenge of the Chickens by Felicity Wood; Adapted to Audio Drama by Brother Anthony Sloan
It Chicken.......Gracious Mgcobe
One Chicken.......Doyin Abiodun
Another Chicken.......Caroline Kukubo
Another Another Chicken.......Masixole Peter
Another Another Another Chicken.......A.J. Sloan
Masixole and Anthony provided live sound effects; Anthony directed this AudioDrama and also used his Atumpan (West African talking drum) for incidental music.
S/X: Rooster crowing
Yesterday all the chickens came home to roost.
Fried chicken take-away joints line the dusty streets of our town, but yesterday morning all the greasy chicken corpses were gone.
The chickens resurrected themselves, from polystyrene cartons, from the sullenly sizzling depths of week-old oil, from gnawed grey-brown bones in gutters and dustbins, and descended on the roofs of the bottle stores, the furniture shops and the funeral parlours. They disrupted the queues in the post office, and the bank, by settling on the heads of everyone who had ever eaten take-away chicken and squawked loudly and vengefully.
S/X: Chickens; People in panic
They flew across the river to the university; where they perched on the gates, malevolent as overweight fussily feathered vultures, defecating on all the cars that passed underneath them.
They infiltrated offices, lecture halls and seminar rooms, the administration building and the library… driving chicken-eating staff and students out before them.
S/X: People in panic
They flew round and round campus in triumphant formation -- a giant victorious chicken toyi-toyi in the sky.
Music: Chicken struggle song
I found a chicken waiting for me, perched on the bonnet of my car.
Please leave me alone.
S/X: Chicken cluck
I haven’t eaten chicken for the last fifteen years.
Take me to your leader!
Who do you mean?
I want to see your Vice-Chancellor.
We hear you people have a thing called Staff Development that gives you all funding to go on trips to the United States of North America.
We want to go there too. Some of us have never been out of the Eastern Cape and we hear that they have take-away chicken places in the States as well.
Just then, a flock of chickens with less immediate cosmopolitan ambitions descended, clucking angrily.
S/X: Chickens clucking / Roosters crowing
This place is more than forty million in the red…
One of them said.
Do you really think you’d get much out of it?
Another Chicken said.
We haven’t got time to waste in this bankrupt backwater town.
The chickens from Bedford, Adelaide and Fort Beaufort are going to be passing over here soon.
Another Another Chicken
We’re all going to fly to Bisho; joining up with the chickens from Grahamstown, Peddie and Dimbaza on the way.
Another Another Another Chicken
All the other chickens from the rest of the province including East London and Mdantsane will be waiting there for us.
When we’ve taken over the Provincial Government we’ll be able to charter jets to take us to the United States if we want to.
Suddenly the sky was darkened by densely packed squadrons of thousands upon thousands of plump feathered bodies. With a rush of wings, the chickens around me soared skywards to join them as they passed, flapping north-eastwards over the bare brown hills towards Bisho.
Qamata be praised; thank you God… Qamata be praised; thank you God….
I hopped into my car and fled homewards. I live high on the Hogsback, far away from chicken take-away joints and any centres of wealth or power. I drove like a maniac; muttering to myself…
Qamata be praised; thank you God… What a narrow escape. I doubt whether the chickens would be interested in taking over the local council or the civic structures in Hogsback.
However, when I reached the top of the Hogsback pass, I found that the cows had got there before me. An army of cows had marched up the pass and, trampling over fences and hedges; they were streaming into gardens, crushing flowerbeds and azaleas under their hooves, bellowing for vengeance against all consumers of steak and hamburgers.
Moo-o-o-o-sic: No Justice, No Peace